Gift Ideas for the Grown Men in Our Lives

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This is the stage of Christmas preparation where I feel as if I have TONS of time, but also uh oh I need a gift for a party next week, and we are drawing names for our workplace Secret Santa on Friday, and I need to prepare a gift for the nurses before Edward’s next medical appointment, and so on. Happy fluster, but.

Yesterday I got agitated about the kids’ gifts. I feel as if I have very few ideas for them this year, and they are not coming up with many ideas themselves. I thought, what if I concentrate on one kid per day, starting with Rob since his items need to be mailed? A great idea! I will start on that right after work! And so I came home and wrapped presents and wrote Christmas cards. One does what one can; all chipping-away is good chipping-away; etc.

I am also working on doing extra cleaning—not as an important, required, THIS MUST HAPPEN sort of thing to add to the work/stress of this time; more like, I am seizing the motivation where I can find it, and I find I am motivated by, of all things, the kids coming home. They are not GUESTS! I don’t have to WORRY about cleaning before their visit! But I’m finding I am a little bit worried (they will see the house with fresh eyes after their time away!!), and I am finding that that small amount of adrenaline combines nicely with excitement (if it’s time to clean the house that means they are almost here!!) to give me the energy I need to scrub a shower floor, or bleach/scrub the kitchen sink, or wipe down a microwave. If I can chip away at it starting in early December, rather than leaving it for the week before, it will all……well, a lot of it will need to be done again by Christmas, but IT WILL STILL BE CLEANER THAN IT IS NOW.

Starting today with my mid-week grocery trip, I will have the fun of Buying Things for the Kids Who Are Coming Home. The twins won’t be home for another week and a half, but William is done and home as of this weekend. William drinks a lot of milk and eats a lot of pasta; Henry, the one remaining housechild, does neither of those things, so today I need to replenish the supplies I’d allowed to dwindle. I will also buy pecans, yogurt, extra eggs, and…what else does that child eat. Well, he can put it on the list when he’s here! Which will be soon!

Mostly what I like to read about at this time of year is WHAT ARE OTHER PEOPLE BUYING. I get so many good ideas that way. I finally bought Paul the contour gauge tool I put in my cart after someone else (was it Suzanne? it feels like it might have been Suzanne) posted about it a couple of Christmases ago, maybe longer ago than that:

(image from Amazon.com)

I don’t know what it is or what it does, but it looks cool, and Paul enjoys receiving Unexpected Workshop Stuff to play with.

I’ll just keep going with Paul’s gifts, so we can have a little theme here: Gift Ideas for the Grown Men in Our Lives. Back in October I bought him some lime juice:

(image from Amazon.com)

If I remember correctly my friends were discussing the recipe for a restaurant margarita we all like, and they said one of the secrets was Jamaican lime juice, and anyway I hope this is the right thing (I notice only right this minute that it says juice MIX), but if it’s not it’ll still be fun to try. I will put it in his stocking.

I should have mentioned this sooner, but I didn’t know he was going to like it so much: I got him an Exit game Advent calendar.

(image from Amazon.com)

It’s around $50 right now; I got it somewhere in the high $30s, which was still a fair amount of money but it is pretty great. I am reminded of when Elizabeth, writing her thank-you note to her aunt and uncle, also thanked them for the gift they’d sent Paul: “It kept him quiet for hours!” He is working on it every night with just the right amount of frustration/triumph.

This heated desk pad has been a mixed success, but enough of a success that I now keep it in my cart so I can buy one if there’s a good price drop.

(image from Amazon.com)

I found it after about the tenth time Paul had exclaimed how cold his hands get when he’s working at his computer all day. I searched “heated desk pad” and bought pretty much the first one I found. It broke a month later, and many reviews mentioned similar issues: that it was great when it worked, but that some of them seemed to be defective. I contacted the company, which sent a replacement, and the replacement has worked for almost a year now. But when the price dropped, I bought another one to have on hand if/when this one goes: reviews mention that even if you get one that isn’t defective, it doesn’t last for years and years. I realize I’m not exactly selling this, but when we were waiting for the first replacement, Paul said things like “I NEVER WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT IT AGAIN,” so. (If any of you have experience with a more reliable model, PLEASE TELL US.)

Paul likes to cook with cast iron pans, and he has a little scrubber that looks like a fabric swatch of chainmail. He likes it a lot, but wished aloud that it had a HANDLE. I bought him two handled options to try:

(image from Amazon.com)

(image from Amazon.com)

In case you have a cast-iron devotee in your life, this is Paul’s favorite turner:

(image from Amazon.com)

He had one, and said he wanted a second one so he would always have one available, so I bought him TWO more. I also bought one for his sister, after she posted a cooking photo involving two cast iron pans.

Paul bought himself this window bird feeder, and gave it to me to give to him:

(image from Amazon.com)

If the grown man in your life would like to be twinsies with Paul, this Oscar the Grouch t-shirt was one of the most successful things I bought him last year.

(image from Amazon.com)

I’d thought it might be too dark and hard to see, but it turns out to be Just Right: not too garish, but definitely noticeable. He wears it whenever it’s clean. I have the Cookie Monster shirt in my cart to consider for this year, but I don’t know. Maybe one Sesame Street shirt is perfect and two is too many.

I’m certain I got this next idea from Suzanne: The Happy Isles puzzle from the Magic Puzzle Company:

(image from Amazon.com)

Big hit with Paul and with some of the kids, so I’ve bought The Mystic Maze for this year. Or was it the other way around? Well, I have ONE of those two puzzles in a cupboard ready to give this year, and the OTHER one was a huge hit. I also got this folding round table for Paul’s birthday last year:

(image from Amazon.com)

I would not normally spend that much on a birthday present—but we’d gotten one of these tables from my parents when they moved, and Paul set it up as a puzzle table, and then Henry needed a table for his D&D group and this one was undeniably perfect, so Paul patiently loaded his puzzle-in-progress onto cookie sheets so Henry could have the table. We brought down a different folding table (also from my parents), but it was clearly inferior for puzzling, and Paul seemed discouraged from working on the puzzle. I would have bought the table anyway, but the timing was right for it to be a fun birthday gift. In such situations, I don’t count the cost of the item against the birthday budget.

Do you have someone in your life who quests for the right insulated bottle? I will show you Paul’s favorite:

(image from Amazon.com)

He left it behind in a motel room on one of our college-visit trips, and was CALLING THE MOTEL to see if it could be found, because he was thinking he would DRIVE BACK SEVEN HOURS TO GET IT. I ordered him a new one, because I am level-headed about insulated bottles. I will note that it does not fit in the car’s cupholder, which to me is an absolute deal-breaker but Paul does not care about that at all, because he doesn’t use it while he’s driving: it’s either on his desk/table at home, or it’s on his desk at work, or it’s in his work bag.

Oh! I can tell you what my dad asked Santa for this year, in case these things seem like they’d be good ideas for someone you know. My dad is someone who METICULOUSLY researches everything to find THE BEST ONE (in the Consumer Reports sense of being the best one at a reasonable price)—so if he requests a particular item, you can feel pretty confident that there is good reason for it being THAT PARTICULAR ITEM.

This particular meat thermometer with a probe:

(image from Amazon.com)

This particular flashlight:

(image from Amazon.com)

 

I am keen to hear what you are buying for the grown men you know.

Same Old Lang Syne; Shipping Glass Jars of Pizza Sauce

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Do you know what I have noticed, just the past few years? They are playing Dan Fogelberg’s Same Old Lang Syne amidst the Christmas songs. I do not at all object: it takes place on Christmas Eve! And that is a song from my childhood, albeit one that baffled me as a child and baffles me in different ways as an adult (DID THEIR GROCERIES NOT MELT AS THEY SAT IN THE CAR FOR HOURS??? DIDN’T THEIR RESPECTIVE PARTNERS WONDER WHERE THEY WERE??? THEY SHARED A SIX-PACK AND THEN DROVE???).

But what I mean is that I don’t remember hearing it as a Christmas song before a few years ago. Now, I could be misremembering. This could be an early-onset neurological thing. But…I listen to Christmas songs a LOT, starting as soon as Thanksgiving is over. And it is a VERY childhood-associated song for me. So if they HAD played it on Christmas radio before, I feel like I WOULD HAVE NOTICED, because the FIRST time they played it on Christmas radio (…that I remember…) I was jaw-dropped RIVETED. I remember I was taking a shower, and as it started playing I just stood there listening with that weird feeling of “This is so incredibly familiar but also I don’t know what it is.” Once I recognized it, it was interesting listening to the song’s story as an adult rather than as a child.

Also: that song is OVER FIVE MINUTES LONG.

 

I am in that middle range of Christmas shopping. I had a bunch of things in various online carts, and some of those things went on sale over the several weeks of Black/Cyber/Friday/Monday and I bought them, and some of those things I decided not to buy. I have more things that I would like to buy, and it’s hard to know if I should wait for a sale. And I have a lot of gaps to fill: in some cases I have several ideas and am waffling among them; in some cases I have tons of ideas that all seem Good Enough but I’m worried I’ll choose some and then find Something Better; and in some cases I don’t have any good ideas and am not sure when to start thinking about it for real, rather than waiting for ideas to come to me on their own. So after a flurry of packages, there is a lull.

I thought of a good idea for Rob, but the execution of it would be challenging. There is this particular local store-brand pizza sauce that he likes far more than any other sauce. [Edited to clarify: local TO ME, I mean; Rob can’t buy it where he is now.] There is no way, as far as I can tell, to buy it online and have it shipped to him. But I could go to considerable effort and expense to do it myself. The trouble is: do we think it will work to ship glass jars of pizza sauce, or do we think this shipment is more likely to break, leaking terribly staining sauce over many people’s holiday packages?

I thought I could start by asking a grocery store employee if the sauce comes to them in a nice sturdy case. Like, I’m imagining it coming to them in a box with cardboard dividers between each jar. Perhaps they would sell me an entire case with the packaging.

Still, even if it DOES have that packaging, that’s only designed to protect it from a truck ride, where everyone involved in moving it around is being relatively careful. It is NOT made for being dropped or thrown. It would be so disappointing to go to the trouble/expense and then have it arrive worthless.

I HAVE successfully shipped him a single jar of the sauce: I was sending some sort of box to him already, and the flat rate box was the better price but was only half-full, so I was trying to think of what to put in there. I wrapped the jar in that big-bubble bubble wrap and put it in a gallon ziploc just in case, and it DID get there safely. So even if I don’t brave a case of it, I’ll bet I could send a jar or two in the Christmas box I’ll already be sending. And one does want to be careful not to deluge one’s adult children with things they USED to like but maybe have since found acceptable replacements for and no longer feel strongly about. A jar or two can be fun and appreciated no matter the situation; a case might be “ohhhhhhh noooooooooo.”

Gifts for Rob, Who Is Impossible To Buy for But I Continue To Try

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I impulse(/gin)-ordered Rob a tiny real tree yesterday evening:

(image from Amazon.com)

You know, I have TRIED to scale back on Amazon, for philosophical reasons, and I have succeeded to some extent. But when I look up my options for sending someone a tiny live tree, and I get results that include a $120-plus-shipping option, a $75-plus-delivery option, a $150-plus-shipping option, and a $24-with-free-shipping option, I am going to use Amazon, because the other three options mean I am not going to impulse-order my far-away child a small live Christmas tree, and I DO want to order him a small live Christmas tree.

One thing I am pretty sure I have discussed with Rob, but I need to make a point of discussing it again, is the concept of re-gifting. You may remember Rob is the one who doesn’t want anything, though he does understand me when I explain that I cannot give him literally nothing for Christmas. But I think it really, really helps, when receiving gifts one doesn’t want, to remember that one person’s oppressive unwanted gift is another person’s delightful holiday surprise. If Rob doesn’t want the little tree, and feels oppressed by it, then he could give it to his landlord, or he could leave it anonymously outside a neighbor’s door with a little note, or he could drop it off at his library, or he could give it to his bike-repair shop; he could give it to the friend he had a picnic with, which is all he told us and he wouldn’t tell us anything else about either the friend or the picnic; he could drop it off at a local charity or business. Giving away the gift could end up being the fun part of the gift for him, and I want to make sure he knows about that.

Along similar lines, one of my only gift suggestions he responded positively to was the idea of a stack of $5 bills for him to hand out when he sees someone asking. I might expand that into a gift of $5 bills, soft breakfast bars, hand/toe warmers, and ziploc baggies, so that he can make little bags to hand out. (Or he can choose to hand out just the bills, and donate/use the other things.)

We are also giving him money for him to donate to his favorite charity. I wanted to make the donation myself, in his name, but then he doesn’t get the tax credit, and also it means we’re the ones who get all the emails begging for more money, so I send him the money and he makes the donation.

Last year we got him symphony tickets (he likes classical music), which I’d hoped would be so successful we could just do it again year after year, a ticket to one concert for Christmas and a ticket to another concert for his birthday, done and done!—but no. He liked trying it, but doesn’t have any particular interest in going again.

He has turned down experience gifts. He has turned down gift cards to local restaurants, furniture stores, clothing stores, online stores, the bike/repair store, various services. He has turned down computer equipment and exercise/sports equipment. He has turned down wall art (except for a large city-map poster, which we gave him last year), subscription boxes of all kinds, upgrades to things he has (such as a better frying pan or a better pillow), a compact printer, a personal blender, a savings bond, a suitcase (he has the GIANT ones he moved with, but I thought he might want a smaller more practical size for normal trips—and it could fit inside one of the big suitcases), the new Zelda game, replacements of favorite-but-now-ratty t-shirts. If you are thinking you have an idea, you might as well say it because WHO KNOWS?—but the most likely thing is that he already turned it down and I just didn’t want to make this paragraph any longer.

I am getting him a pair of sturdy but comfortable casual work pants: apparently he was a bit stuck when his company wanted him to appear in person for a (casual) work conference. Paul got him a bicycle basket (Rob doesn’t have a car, and he rides his bike everywhere) that snaps easily on and off the front of the bike to turn into a handled shopping basket. I am sending the usual practical stocking stuffers: new underwear, new socks, new toothbrush, new razors; but with much much less candy than I’m giving his siblings, because he has mentioned not wanting much candy. I’ll send him the usual filled plastic candy cane; the overpriced cylinder of mini M&Ms that accidentally turned out to be a CRUCIALLY IMPORTANT part of stockings for the kids; a few chocolate coins; maybe some small special/expensive chocolate thing. I’m sending a wee can of cranberry sauce I was charmed by at the grocery store. I’m sending one of those teensy metal-wire strings of teensy LED lights for his live tree, maybe a few teensy ornaments too but Paul said “He won’t want to have to store those.” And I’m sending him new flannel pajama pants, because he said that’s mostly what he wears day in and day out now (he works remotely). None of this sounds good to me. I am trying not to worry.

Checklist for Having College Kids Home for Thanksgiving Break

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• Put up and decorate the Christmas tree, maybe even if you’re a die-hard “NOT UNTIL DECEMBER!!” person—because the college kid(s) won’t be back until mid-December, and that might be kind of late by even a die-hard’s standards.

• Have them make a list of the holiday movies/shows they want you to wait to watch until they’re home for Christmas break, so that you can watch the other ones on the nights between now and then. Before they go back, have them pick one they want to watch to kick off the season. Get weepy about it.

• Annual flu/Covid shots. Or maybe your kids will manage to take advantage of the much more convenient campus clinics! My kids so far have not managed that, despite subtle coaching. And, one time, in one case, I tried to manage it for them, and all the appointments were full 15 minutes after the email went out, so perhaps it is not all that convenient after all.

• Woo them with a sentimental meal, in addition to all the scheduled Thanksgiving-food wooing.

• Maybe also a sentimental cookie/bar/cake/pie. Or maybe there is already too much leftover dessert in the house.

• Take a family photo for the Christmas card, if you send out cards.

• Do they need deodorant? shampoo? conditioner? granola bars? Kraft Easy Mac? It is cheaper to buy it here than on campus! THOSE SHYSTERS

• Winter coats? winter boots? gloves? hat? scarf? WHAT HAVE THEY FORGOTTEN? MUST PROTECT BABY FROM FROSTBITE!!

• Send them back with advent/countdown calendars, if applicable! We don’t usually buy the chocolate countdown calendars for the household, but I DO buy them for college kids.

• Send them back with Christmas lights for their dorm rooms, if applicable! Maybe some snowflake lights, if you don’t do Christmas lights!

Filling Our Own Christmas Stockings; No Calendar Post; Older Kids and What a Delight They Can Be

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As soon as the Thanksgiving meal is over, I crack out the pine-scented hand soap. CHRISTMAS SEASON, BITCHES. Well, that is just me trying to sound cool.

Here is the little thing I keep saying to myself as I am doing my Christmas shopping and seeing things I want for myself: “I don’t need that.” Alternative phrases, also in use: “I have enough of that”/”I don’t want to have to find a place for that.”

If, however, I find I DO need that, DON’T have enough of that, or DON’T MIND AT ALL finding a place for that, then I go ahead and buy it. I know I have mentioned on other occasions that after a couple of decades of I don’t know what to call it, I now fill my own stocking. There is a big-picture way in which this sucks, but I have found several silver linings to it, one of which is that when I see things throughout the year that might be difficult to justify buying (face lotion/wash that costs more than I would usually spend but it’s on a good sale; Hello Kitty lip balms; stickers I absolutely do not need), I can buy them, For My Stocking. I have an opaque bag in the gift cupboard where I put those things, so that many of them end up being actual surprises. Thank you, Earlier-in-the-Year Swistle! How sweet of you to think of me! I feel so loved!

This would be an excellent moment for you to suggest some little indulgences any of us might wish to purchase for our own stockings. I will be taking INTENSE NOTES.

Abrupt segue. I am not planning to do the annual calendar post this year. I hesitate even to mention this, because sometimes when I see someone bracing other people for something they’re not going to do, as if they think it is something other people need to brace for, my reaction is not positive. Sometimes I think uncharitable thoughts. But also I know how I feel about certain regular, predictable events. So anyway I am saying it, super casually, just in case you would like to know ahead of time. I am not sure which wall calendar I will buy for the kitchen this year (though, based on current mood, probably a comforting repeat from a previous year), but I have already bought the Pusheen day-to-day calendar for my desk.

Four kids are here for Thanksgiving, and it is wonderful. If right now you are in the pits of little-kid busyness and exhaustion, let me just say that older kids can be a delight I didn’t know to anticipate.

Good Friend-Group Christmas Gift Ideas

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You know those undereye masks you can buy, the little patches that look like big commas? Do you have some you’ve used and liked, or some you’ve heard of as being cool/trendy? I want to get some for William’s stocking. He thinks he has undereye circles. They’re genetic, I’m sorry to say, but that doesn’t mean I don’t empathize with his motivation to feel as if he’s Doing Something About It, and little luxury items are great for stockings.

Also. And this is tricky, because several members of the group read here. But I am looking for good friend-group Christmas gift ideas. I am in a group of eight women, and we used to do a Yankee Swap for Christmas, but now we each bring seven matched (or BASICALLY matched, like everyone might get a different windchime but they’re all windchimes) gifts to hand out to each other. This means finding something that works for seven fairly different people. Some of us are better at it than others.

I had what I thought was The Greatest Idea of All Time, but it turns out I am not temperamentally or skillsically suited for it. Long ago, not long after we formed our group, we had a local artist paint us matching wine glasses: same overall design for everyone, but then each person’s own name on the base of the glass. More than half of us have broken our glasses by now, and the local artist is no longer local. I thought I could watch some YouTube videos and paint us new ones! I started saving shoe boxes in dreamy anticipation of this idea. I would hand out a box to everyone, and make them open them all at the same time! Everyone would be so surprised/amazed!

Then I watched YouTube videos. Number one and number eight brushes, plus a cone brush. Enamel paints in many colors/formulas. Gloves. Patterns. Brushstrokes away from center. Setting the paint. Etc. It’s not that it looks UNDOABLE, but it definitely does not look as if it overlaps with any of my own personal strengths and/or supplies. And then: surely we would all just start breaking the glasses again. And what if some of us were actually a little RELIEVED to have our glass broken, and now here I am replacing it?? I myself have stopped bringing my unbroken glass to get-togethers, because I don’t want to break it, and I am more than content with my replacement glass, which is a large plastic wine glass one of the group members handed out as an earlier group gift. So perhaps I should leave well enough alone.

But that means it is November 15th and I am just now abandoning the plan I came up with last December. I have wasted 11 months of thinking time. And we generally try to have our party early/mid-December, before the real holiday busyness begins.

I think I should say that I am not in any way trying to COMPETE with the kinds of gifts some of the women in this group come up with. They have had insulated tumblers and candy jars and wine bottles custom-printed, with our names and/or with photos of our group. There have been group t-shirts, group hats. One of them made a group birthstone bracelet. Another ordered us all matching bracelets with secretly coded swear words. So there is no trying to EXCEED the current showstoppers, but I would like to be IN RANGE of the MOOD of the gifts, which ranges from funny to sentimental to club-reinforcing. Last year, after handing out bags of travel wine glasses, canned cocktails, and assorted chocolates, I thought to myself “I think I need to step up my sentiment game a little here. Or else be funnier.”

But, as I say: several members are HERE IN OUR MIDST. So please WHISPER your ideas for good friend-group gifts if you have any, because I plan to take credit for them. And I will trust my friends NOT TO READ THE COMMENTS!

(And if you read this and think, “Well, I have a GREAT friend-group gift idea, but it sounds like my group spends a lot less/more than yours,” please mention it ANYWAY, because these posts are NEVER just for me, and are ALWAYS meant to ALSO be for anyone else who has a similar need for ideas!)

Dental Woe Update: Dental Relief!

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I have a happy/relieved update on the back molar dental woe situation.

Back when I first told you of the woe, several of you mentioned having had a back molar pulled and no implant put in, with no ill effects despite threats of ill effects. Another local friend mentioned the same thing: could not afford implant so threats were scary but moot; had back molar pulled, didn’t get implant; nothing happened.

I went to see my beloved and trusted oral surgeon prepared with a compromise: what if she pulled the tooth and did the first step of the implant, the one that needs to be done right after the tooth is pulled, which is to put in the bone graft; and then we just didn’t do anything else? Then, if my teeth started shifting or if I had trouble chewing or WHATEVER, the bone graft would already be in place and we could proceed with the implant; but if there were no ill effects, I would only be out the cost of the bone graft.

She counter-offered: she said we should just pull the tooth and not waste money on the implant OR on the bone graft. She said:

• after the initial adjustment period, I was not going to notice the loss of chewing surface

• teeth shift forward, not back, so my teeth were not going to shift

• the bone graft would cost $750 and my body would dissolve/absorb it after a couple of years if we didn’t use it for an implant, and she didn’t think we WOULD end up using it for an implant, so it would be a waste of money and bone

• she hardly ever does an implant replacement for the back molar, because there’s not much bone back there and not much room back there and there’s a pretty strong chance of the implant failing anyway

So she’s going to pull the tooth, it’s going to cost approximately $250 (something like $40 more if I want nitrous oxide) (I am going to want a little nitrous oxide, as a treat), and there is no huge looming implant expense to deal with.

This is one of the many reasons I love this doctor: she is philosophically opposed to unnecessary/expensive procedures, even if it would be to her own personal benefit to perform them. (I do not think my dentist is similarly philosophically opposed.) She did not argue against putting in an implant when one of my upper two front teeth perished: she felt that was a good value, and so did I. But an upper back molar? Pull it and be done with it.

How To Battle Together with Your Buddy in Pokemon Go and Earn a Heart

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This is a bit of a niche post. But I have started playing Pokémon Go again after a lengthy break, and I am doing a lot more things with it than I used to do, and I was getting so frustrated trying to figure out how to earn the “Battle together” heart with my buddy. I kept searching online and being incredulous that I couldn’t find an answer, only other people asking the same question. Sometimes people would respond, “Oh, just make sure you give your buddy a treat so they’re walking with you, and then go fight in a battle!”—and that didn’t work at all. Now that I have figured it out, I am posting it in the hopes that other frustrated people will be able to find it.

Here’s what the buddy screen looks like, where it shows you all the hearts you can earn each day:

 

And HERE IS WHAT YOU DO TO EARN THAT BATTLE TOGETHER HEART. When you are in THIS OTHER SCREEN, the one where you have entered a battle in a gym but are waiting for the battle to begin, don’t hit READY like Paul did, because you are going to need the time:

Click on ANY OF THE SIX Pokémon it automatically sets up for you. (If I’d been thinking clearly, I would have selected the SIXTH slot, since my buddy is more of a floofer than a fighter. But I was not thinking clearly, I was EXHILARATED BY A SUDDEN INSIGHT. So you can see him in that first square, because I took this screen shot in the glow of triumph when the idea worked.)

Clicking on one of the six selected Pokémon will take you to all your Pokémon. Scroll through your Pokemon until you find YOUR BUDDY. Then CLICK ON your buddy. Your buddy will be put in as one of your six fighters. AND IT WILL EARN A HEART!

It was so relatively obvious once I figured it out, but I was honestly stumped for like a YEAR.

Christmas Gifts for Children I Don’t Know, Chosen from an Insufficiently-Clear Wish List

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This year we’re “adopting” two kids from our local Christmas-supplementation organization, which is something I did for the first time last year. There are ways in which it was so hectic and stressful (I don’t remember if I talked about it last year, but it was things like the perfect gift I had in mind sold out unexpectedly early, and then I ordered something else and FORGET TO ACTUALLY CLICK THE ORDER BUTTON SO I GOT TO THE DAY I WAS BUNDLING UP THE ITEMS AND REALIZED I WAS SHORT THE MAIN GIFT AND HAD TO RUN TO THE PHYSICAL STORE IN A SMALL SNOWSTORM *PANT PANT*), but overall it ended up being one of my top favorite parts of Christmas. I LOVE thinking about gifts and deciding about gifts, and I also LOVE being The Good Student and diligently checking off every single part of the organization’s instruction sheet. I imagine the people in charge making little notes next to my name about what a good job I did.

And in general, I find it fairly easy to get over the “But I don’t KNOW!!” hurdle in situations like this: everyone involved knows I don’t know; there is no way for me to know; no one else in my position knows either; this is why the organization asks us to send gift receipts. I will do the best I can, and I will buy nice-quality things, and I will trust the Christmas Fairies to guide my choices.

Each child in the program makes a little wish list. I would like to solicit suggestions/opinions from those who know more than I do on some of these wish list gift ideas. Last year we got an older teenager who wanted a hoodie, so I had five resident experts to consult; we also had a younger child who wanted Minecraft and Lego things, and again I had multiple in-house experts. This year I have a 14-year-old boy who wants slippers, a terrarium kit, and fidget toys; and a 10-year-old boy who wants slime, art supplies, and frog-related things.

Feel free to comment anything at all on any of those things. But also I have some more specific questions/concerns:

• Where do cool teenagers shop for their cool clothes? I would like to start there for the slippers. I am finding a lot of stodgy adult options online.

• I am interested in suggestions for good-quality, enduringly-fidgetworthy fidget toys. I would like to spend more money on fewer/better fidget toys, rather than getting a big set of cheaper ones.

• If you saw “slime” on someone’s list, would you assume slime or would you assume slime-making supplies? I guess I am assuming finished slime, but I am not sure: my kids missed the slime trend, so I have NO IDEA where to start. I might assume that someone who likes slime already has the basic slime? It appeals to me to get the Hot New Slime This Season or whatever; it also appeals to get the BEST slime. I just KNOW some of you know what the best slime is. Tell me what the best slime is, and I will buy it.

• The trouble with “frog-related things” is that someone who likes frogs probably already has an assortment of frog things, and duplication would be unhappy. Also, I know from my own children that, for example, a child who likes dinosaurs might have VERY STRONG OPINIONS about the SORT of dinosaurs (in our case: REAL dinosaurs, no cartoony/cute dinosaurs). Well. These are the limitations of this assignment. I wish I could ask follow-up questions, but I cannot. Maybe a frog Squishmallow? Is there a “best” frog squishmallow? A NEW frog Squishmallow the child wouldn’t have yet? What other frog things might a 10-year-old enjoy? A frog t-shirt? A frog throw pillow? A frog book? A frog Christmas tree ornament? A frog towel? Frog stickers? Why does this form not include the child’s favorite color(s)?

(image from Amazon.com)

 

• Art supplies is similarly difficult. What art supplies does the child already have? Is this a new interest or an old one? Why are these forms so limited? Well. I suppose the best would be things that someone who likes art could always use more of, and/or things that are rather expensive so they are unlikely to already own them. Maybe a really good set of colored pencils and a sketch pad? Or maybe a small basic starter set of the Chameleon pens Elizabeth gradually acquired many sets of? Or the micron pens Elizabeth says every art student has? Is a 10-year-old ready for those? Or should I be thinking construction paper, glitter glue, and stickers? THERE IS NO WAY TO KNOW

(image from Amazon.com)

(image from Amazon.com)

 

You may wonder why I am starting on this SO EARLY, but (1) the organization collects the items fairly early, so that they can make sure they have everything, and (2) I learned last year that when I find The Right Thing, I should buy it RIGHT AWAY, because the good stuff SELLS OUT.

John Derian; Wine Gifts; Getting Rid of Just One Thing

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It’s basically too late for me to mention this (many items are already out of stock), but Target is doing a collaboration with John Derian again, for Thanksgiving. I bought two things:

This lil serving tray, which does not look exactly like my house but has the vibe of my house:

(image from Target.com)

and this wine tote:

(image from Target.com)

I find as I get older that I have more and more need of cute wine totes to give with wine gifts. A friend of mine had a birthday party this past month, and everyone was teasing her for the number of bottles of wine/liquor she was receiving (“Oh, they sure know you I guess har har!!”)—but it’s more that when someone is My Age, there are fewer and fewer toasters and throw blankets you can buy them, and the focus turns to consumable treats. And wine/liquor KEEP well if you don’t want to use them right away, and it’s not a problem if you get DUPLICATES, and they are easy to REGIFT and/or serve to guests.

 

I do not need any more Christmas tree ornaments, I DO NOT need any, I already have them divided into two bins to use on alternating years. But:

(image from Target.com)

A PASSPORT ORNAMENT! So perfect to commemorate our first trip out of the country!

 

I am trying a new thing, by which I mean something I do from time to time and then forget about and then start doing again: I am trying the concept of Getting Rid of Things, Even if it Is Just One Thing and Doesn’t Seem Worth it. Tossing one single worn hair towel, even though I still have too many and should really go through them more thoroughly so that I can close that drawer, is still worth doing. Putting one single necklace in the Goodwill bag, even though I still have too many and should really go through my entire jewelry box, is still worth doing. Taking one window fan we never use out of the barn, even though really I should go through the entire barn and get rid of everything we moved five years ago and haven’t unpacked/used yet, is still worth doing.

The main thing I notice with this method is that it inspires me to do more of it. YES, it would be more efficient to thoroughly tackle an entire cluttered/disorganized drawer, but it’s not more efficient if I NEVER DO IT. If I notice and throw away one item from that drawer while I have it open for other reasons, that is something that doesn’t have to be a Big Involved Project. And then maybe the next time I open that drawer, I see another item I can throw away. And maybe now I can see to the back of the drawer and I say “WHY do we still have twenty packets of assorted orthodontic elastics when no one at our house wears braces anymore??” and I throw out a nice big handful. This is the kind of small success I find encouraging, and sometimes it’s so motivating it TURNS INTO thoroughly tackling the entire drawer.

A Big Involved Project I think really has to be done in one swoop is my make-up. I don’t even WEAR make-up anymore, but I have a large box of it, and I DO want to keep SOME of it for those few occasions I DO want to wear make-up. But the other night, Paul and I were going out to dinner and I put on some make-up, and it looked ridiculous and I wiped most of it off. So maybe I should just throw out the whole box and be done with it. Well, but then I know someday I will REALLY WANT my perfect brown-red lipstick or whatever, and then I will feel sad. (I have heard the “THROW OUT MAKE-UP AFTER SIX MONTHS, IT IS CONTAMINATED!!” thing, and I do not believe or comply. I will reconsider my stance if I ever experience one single ill effect from using old make-up.)