I had lunch with two former coworkers, and it has rejuvenated part of my soul. One of the coworkers was driven out by the same supervisor who drove me out; the other coworker is still working there, and can give reports from the inside. I told the one who is still there to tell me only how bad things are since I left: I said I don’t want to know if things are so much better and everyone is like “Oh god, it’s like a wrench has been removed from the cogwheel”/”it’s like a dark cloud has dissipated” or whatever, and she said “Frankly? It is a SHITSHOW.” So gratifying.
In one of the meetings I had with my supervisor before I quit, she implied that I “got to” do all the tasks I wanted to do: I GOT TO do the book drop, I GOT TO do the pick list—like my work was a huge treat. “Implied” is the wrong word: she specifically used the words “you get to,” as part of her explanation why I should not be upset about what I do NOT “get to” do (things like doing my job efficiently and/or in a way that makes sense). MY understanding was that I was doing the work no one else wanted to do, which I had been specifically hired to do: no one applied for that job in-house before it was posted externally; no one ever expressed jealousy of my work; no one eagerly grabbed my shifts when I had to be out; no one expressed resentment at “having to” sit at the desk instead of emptying the bookdrop and doing the shelving. If anything, I received sympathy, which was pleasing because I LIKED my work allotment, and didn’t want to trade any more than they did!
The situation since I left is one that reinforces my take, rather than my supervisor’s take. My tasks are being divided among my former co-workers, and no one wants to do them, and it’s making everyone unhappy. They’re so short-staffed (another employee left the week after I did, for benign, non-supervisor-related reasons) that no time-off requests are being approved, which is ridiculous. (I am of the “No: I am not asking, I am telling you when I will not be able to be at work” mindset in regards to time-off requests for part-time/no-benefits jobs that are not in, say, emergency rooms.) And it’s been a month since I gave my notice, and my supervisor still hasn’t gotten around to posting a job listing—not for my job, and not for the job of the other coworker who left right after me. Is the director noticing this? I hope the director is noticing this. We were ALREADY short-staffed.
Oh!! Also!! Get this: My former coworker reported that my former supervisor wrote to our library’s former director telling her that Swistle left “to spend more time with her husband.” WHAT. That is a BONKERS take. Absolutely bonkers. Beyond bonkers. If she had said “to spend more time with her family,” I would have taken that as a Polite Stand-In Reason—a transparently fake reason, used when one of the parties does not want to say the actual reason, and everyone knows that’s what it is, so it’s not really a lie. But “to spend more time with her husband” is…a bonkers-specific lie. Or…it makes me wonder what the current director told the supervisor about why I was leaving, considering my actual reason for leaving was the supervisor. But WOULD the director give THAT bonkers reason, when there are so many other noncommittal, non-specific options (“for personal reasons,” “to explore other opportunities,” etc.)? I don’t think she WOULD.
LOLOLOLOL WHAT
Who leaves a job to spend more time with their husband, unless their husband is terminally ill or something? Which I assume Paul is not. But what. Even.
You know, it’s kind of awesome when you leave a bad situation and then everything kind of unravels. DEAL WITH THIS, BAD SUPERVISOR. When I left a yoga studio, I was pleasantly and kind of schaedenfraude-ily pleased that the number of students attending the classes I used to teach just plummeted. (I mean, I felt kind of bad for the new teacher, but you know what I’m saying. It’s nice to be missed.)
Not to stir up trouble, but that sounds not just ridiculous but also a little eyebrow rais-ey. Like…is it possible that this supervisor had constructed a fictional version of you in her mind based on biographical facts that she should NOT have been focused on and then evaluated all of your opinions based on how much she would respect the opinions of that fictional person?
What even?! This whole thing sounds bonker balls. Why, of ALL the potential reasonable reasons a person might leave a job would she choose *that* one?
That whole conversation sounds validating.
Literally no one leaves a job to “spend more time with their husband” who HAS a full-time job? This absolutely would not accomplish the goal.
I am continually annoyed at how shit people get jobs with power over good people and drove out the good people with ZERO consequences. Why is this world perpetually like this? We are ongoingly stupid.
DRIVE OUT. DRIVE OUT.
I also continually hope the people responsible for the shit phone keyboards all got axed. (They did not. But the ones who made good keyboards likely did.
“To spend more time with her husband” got me laughing so hard, I had to comment. TOTALLY bonkers and weirdly specific.
In the coming days I imagine I will be giggling at inappropriate times just thinking about that line.
WHAT WHAT WHAT indeed
That sounds like a satisfying lunch! Your ex-supervisor sounds even more delulu.
Kinda makes you wonder if the other departed coworker really left for “benign, non-supervisor-related reasons” or if you were just told they did.
I just wanted to drop in and say I find this content Very Interesting and am looking forward to further updates! Also could you update us on your kids and their lives sometime? Only if you want to of course- I am just curious what they are doing now and if they like their colleges/jobs/lives.
What a very gratifying report on the Swistle-less library! And wonderful to have lunch with friends!
Also, just so frustrating and bonkers the way terrible leaders are continually permitted to continue leading terribly when things could be so much better with a good leader. Or even without one.