An ad situation: If you are getting a stupid ad popping up when you try to comment, actively PREVENTING YOU FROM COMMENTING, know that you are not alone. I am about one inch from getting rid of the ad server on this blog, because it is not very much money and it is intermittently very much hassle—not only because of stuff like the comment-preventing pop-ups (there are not supposed to be ANY pop-ups), but also in terms of tax prep. It’s an easy form when I’m doing it myself (one sheet of paper, one number, one business name)—but we have a tax preparer do our taxes now, and adding that one form adds another big chunk of expense to the preparation costs.
A cat feeding situation: Normally we bring out the cat food three times a day, and the cats can eat as much as they want during those three windows of time, which tend to be lengthy because we get distracted doing something else and forget to take away the bowls. We do it this way because one of the four cats has a little grazing issue (girl, same). But it is unfortunate, because ANOTHER of our cats is getting skinny and shivery with old age, and we want him to eat a kibble every single time it occurs to him; and now ANOTHER cat is having a temporary digestive issue that means he is not eating as much as he should, and should ALSO eat a kibble every single time it occurs to him. Anyway, all this means we are currently leaving the bowls out all the time, and the cats do not know what to do with their time now that they’re not spending so much of it monitoring us to see if we’re getting out the food bowls yet.
The job situation: I set myself one and a half goals. Goal one was to meet with Human Resources; the half goal was to maybe meet with the director, but I thought that would probably be ceremonial at best, and fuel for lying awake having imaginary conversations at worst. I met with HR last week, and it went very well. She said the issues I was describing were issues a manager would be required to take action on, if those issues were reported to them—but of course that means reporting the issues. She strongly advised me to meet with the director. I explained why I thought that would be fruitless, and she basically said Nevertheless. She said even if I got nowhere, even if I thought nothing would come of it, she still strongly advised it. She has a reputation for disliking my supervisor, so I felt inclined to take her advice.
So I met with the director. It is hard to say if it was fruitless. It felt pretty fruitless. She’s a very good listener, and she’s easy to talk to; but numerous coworkers have mentioned that after they talk to her they feel great, and then a few weeks later they notice nothing has changed. She’s like talking to AI. She assured me that she heard me and would take my issues seriously, and also assured me that she was “working on” my supervisor. Okay, but there is no base material to work with. My supervisor does not have the temperament, education, training, or instincts for being a good manager, so I don’t think working on the training is going to do enough to make her tolerable for me to work under. And the director HAS been working on her, for over a year, and I have not seen any improvement, and if anything things have gotten worse.
I do feel good about Completing My Two Meetings, though. Now I am in the will-she-or-won’t-she quitting phase, and probably will-she. I have started composing my quitting letter, and this is where I’m stuck. I don’t know if it should be extremely simple, as all my previous quitting letters have been (basically “This will be my last day”), or if I should use this as an opportunity to make it really clear why I’m leaving. I have left bad managers before, without putting that in my resignation letter. But I’ve never had meetings about my bad managers before, and I’ve always been leaving jobs I wanted to leave anyway, so this feels different.
What about one absolutely bland resignation letter (last day / bland assertion of goodwill), and one letter laying out some reasons? My friend Surely mentioned I could make the second letter a summary/record of each of the two meetings: thanking them for their time, mentioning what was brought to their attention, hoping the issues can be resolved, wishing everyone well. (She added that I could say I was sharing this information with the board of trustees, but warned that that doesn’t leave the door open if my supervisor might leave for other reasons and I might want to be re-employed at the library.)
Maybe in your letter to the supervisor / board / HR / whoever above your terrible manager, you could say “I previously enjoyed this job very much, and would love to have the opportunity to return if management changes in the future.” ?
Oooooo I like that
If you ever want to go back to the library, make your resignation letter as vague as possible. This will become part of your employment record and they will use it when making a rehire decision.
So I would either do the basic “thank you for the opportunity. My last day will be…” Or the vague “for reasons previously discussed, I am not currently available to work here. However I did enjoy my role and hope someday things will change where we might be able to work together again. My last day …”
I wouldn’t put anything in writing unless you never want to go back ever
I agree with the previous poster, they are not paying attention to what you are saying now. Anything you write down can/will just be used against you later.
Hopefully the supervisor quits and you can come back soon!
Swistle! I HAVE had trouble commenting and I thought it was just me.
I do think that if you do leave, you should detail why in your letter. You should definitely follow that advice, by itemizing the issues, the work that you did to try to resolve those issues, and the fact that those issues were never resolved. And then wish everyone well, thank you for the experience, etc. But definitely, definitely the leaving letter should have the equivalent of an exit interview.
Does the library do exit interviews with HR? If so, I’d keep the letter generic and then in the exit interview let it all out. I wouldn’t burn any bridges though – because you never know, that manager might leave or be let go and you might have an opportunity to go back.
Do you read Ask a Manager? I love that website. Anyway, one other option is to submit your query to her to gather some more feedback on the best way to leave. Although, it is unlikely to be definitive advice because each situation depends on so many individual variables…as you well know.
Congrats on going through the strain of the meetings. I would guess HR encouraged you to have the 2nd meeting because each formal complaint or meeting is one piece of straw and the organization needs a certain quantity of repeated straws in order for the camel’s back to break. Maybe the next straw actually effects change but your straw was necessary in the pile. Yay Swistle!!
I strongly suggest you wait a bit longer for the outcome of your meetings to have some impact on changes. Companies/management/boards can take a long time to approve decisions but things may be in progress behind the scenes.
I would not recommend including anything but your end date in the resignation letter. If you have the opportunity for an exit interview, take it, but it sounds like all the right people are already aware of the issues. I wonder if HR is aware you are willing to leave over this.
I complained to two managers about the bully at work, and nothing was done. When I left, I just wrote a generic letter with my leaving date in two weeks (as per my employment contract).
They knew. They didn’t fix it. They should’ve expected the outcome.
I wouldn’t advise doing anything immediately (give them at least four weeks, if you haven’t already), and then, don’t burn bridges if there’s the slightest chance of return.
Is a letter necessary? I have always just told people verbally when I am leaving a job.
Good for you for going through with the meetings. I don’t think I have the right workplace experience to give advice about your resignation letter. I’m sorry it’s come to this.
As someone who works as a manager at a non-profit, and has had bad managers and witnessed bad management, I’d give them 3-6 months to make changes (if you want to stay). Things move so slowly at non-profits, and if they are working on a file to move this person to another job or out, it takes a ton of documentation and time. That said, good job on the meetings – those are important for the documentation side. Even if you feel nothing happens, it does make a difference.
As for a letter- I would keep it vague but mention the meeting (as suggested above…”for reasons previously discussed”) and say you’d be open to coming back. Address it to the Director, and copy your supervisor and HR when you send it via email.
“After careful consideration, I have decided to resign from my position as [Your Job] at [Organization Name], effective [last working day].
As you know, this was not an easy decision, as I’ve truly valued my time with [Organization]. Contributing to [specific project, work you enjoy, or the name of the Org] has been both meaningful and rewarding. However, for reasons previously discussed, I feel it is time for me to leave.
I want to emphasize how much I care about the mission and people of [Org Name]. If circumstances change in the future, I would gladly consider returning to contribute in whatever way is most helpful.
Thank you for the opportunities I’ve experienced here. I wish the organization continued success and hope our paths cross again.”
LOVE THIS!
This is perfection. Swistle, definitely use this. (Source: am manager of 10+ years.)