I got in the shower and realized I hadn’t taken out my ponytail. I took it out and blindly tossed the ponytail elastic over the top of the shower curtain, aiming in the general direction of the sink. It landed neatly inside the core of the spare toilet paper roll sitting on the counter, with half of it sticking out just as if I’d stuffed it in there on purpose. I have had my finest moment.

My ear is reminding me I have news, which is that I liked my first cartilage piercing so much, I got one in my other ear. It’s in the same position, with the same not-great-but-fine gold stud. If you would like to see it, you can take the picture I posted before and flip it on a vertical axis. To find out how I felt about it, you can re-read that post about the first piercing, but dial back both the anxiety and the exhilaration.

My main dither this time is that eventually I think I would like multiple cartilage piercings in each ear, so I wondered if I should ask about doing two or more at once. I’d half-settled on getting two piercings in the new ear, one with a light green earring and one with a light blue earring—and then, after intending to walk into the piercing store and instead walking right past it and into a neighboring shoe store, took a minute to look at shoes I didn’t want while thinking through the piercing I did want; and as soon as I decided on a matched piercing in all ways (same position, same earring), I felt happy and relieved and walked right in and got it. I got the same nice lab-technician-looking guy as last time, but it appeared that in the interim someone told him he didn’t look like a piercing guy, because this time he had stubble and was wearing distressed jeans and a concert t-shirt.

When I got my first cartilage piercing, the woman at the counter said not to sleep on it. But I’m a side-sleeper, and I switch back and forth between sides all night long, so as soon as it mostly stopped hurting I was sleeping on it. This seems to have mashed it a bit, so that the earring angles upward and nestles into a little indentation it has pressed into my ear. This is non-ideal. I remembered Brenna commented that she has a doughnut-shaped pillow she sleeps on to deal with her piercings, so I tried using a neck pillow as if it were a doughnut pillow—and it is the best idea EVER, thank you Brenna! My new tender piercing was completely protected, and my non-tender piercing is already looking less squashed.

There’s an essay by Robert Benchley in which he says he feels he could complete any task, any task at all, if someone would just tell him the very first step. He uses bridge-building as an example: he feels he could do it, even with no training, if someone would just tell him where to START.

This is how I felt about quitting my job. I had worked through the issues and come to the final decision to quit, but my draft emails were not coming out well. I turned to Twitter friends:

And Twitter Friends as usual knew what to do. I think my main problem was that I’d been trying to explain WHY I was quitting, with some backstory. The boss does not need to know about that, and when it was in there it sounded like excuses/whining/defensiveness. Twitter Friends advised sticking to the basics: “I’m writing to give my two weeks notice” followed by “My last day will be ______” followed by an expression of appreciation for the job. I wrote it, I sent it.

There are a lot of things I’m not going to miss about my job. The office was run on a “Wait until something is an emergency before dealing with it” basis, so everything was always an emergency. There was tons of talk about how the most important things were doing a good job with the clients, being able to work unsupervised, filling out our paperwork, being prompt and reliable (all things I am good at)—but ALL REWARDS AND PRAISE were given for one thing and one thing only, which was filling extra shifts. The feeling was that any shifts you were scheduled to do didn’t really count as work. There was an “office staff vs. caregiving staff” dynamic that was obvious and unpleasant, especially since the owner was part of the office staff. Furthermore, my supervisor is a “doesn’t hurt to ask” type, whereas I am a “the stress of saying ‘no’ to you so many times has accumulated until now I hate the sound of your voice and sight of your name” type.

I also won’t miss all the things that I hoped would go away but never did. I still felt nervous at the beginning of every shift, and also awkward about ending every shift. I still felt spikes of out-of-proportion stress about possibly doing a task incorrectly, or handling a conversation incorrectly—though this did improve somewhat. I never did get even SOMEWHAT comfortable saying no when asked to do tasks we’re not supposed to do. I still felt way-over-the-top stress about starting with any new client, and it took me a lonnnnng time to settle in and feel more comfortable.

Anyway. I won’t miss any of that. Here are the things I will miss:

1. My scrubs. I did so love my scrubs. The Scrubstar Premium Flexible was my favorite by far: it was long enough; it had stretchy side panels so I could move in it; it had good pockets; and I felt CUTE and PROFESSIONAL.

2. My little notebooks. I kept a little notebook in my scrubs pocket at all times, and it was ESSENTIAL for doing my job. I would THINK I could remember an instruction such as “I’ll have a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich at 6:00, oh and can you make a small side salad?,” but by the time I got to the kitchen I’d have forgotten part of it, or feel uncertain. Or, even more often, as I was leaving the room the client would ask me to help with a sweater or bring a cup of tea, and that would overwrite what I’d been trying to remember. I felt silly writing down everything, but it was the best. Also, I’ve always been drawn to little notebooks, and it was fun having an excuse to buy them.

3. My work bag. I can use it for other things, but it was so great as a WORK bag. I would walk up the driveway wearing my scrub top and toting my work bag, and I felt PROFESSIONAL and READY. It’s the faux-leather Merona Reversible one in no-longer-available Swistle Blue, and it’s held up beautifully. Plus, I got it on clearance for $11, I think because it was supposed to be reversible but wasn’t: the paper tag said reversible, and the others were reversible to a much darker shade of blue, but on mine the inside and outside are the same color.

4. My paperclips. Oh, I know this sounds ridiculous. But every week when I turn in my paperwork, I need three or four paperclips to hold together the various related papers. And I found a clearance on pretty colored paperclips, and it gave me such a happy feeling to use them, and it was so pleasing to have found them on a good deal so I could use them without feeling that hoarding feeling. It’s not as if I can’t still use them! But it still registers as something I will miss.

5. The paperwork. I really ENJOYED the paperwork. I know I complain a lot about the children’s school paperwork, but most of that is because it’s so DUMB that we have to do it every year, and that they request the EXACT SAME INFORMATION on MULTIPLE FORMS—in one case on BOTH SIDES OF THE SAME FORM. *pant pant* ANYWAY. But if I’m being PAID to do paperwork, even if it’s similarly dumb, I very much enjoy it. I like checking the boxes of tasks I did and then writing out the long-form notes. I like the feeling of reporting in, even if no one actually reads the finished forms. I like clipping the week’s forms together with a pretty paper clip and turning them in neatly and promptly. I like alllllll that.

6. Having an answer to “What do you do?” And such a GREAT answer for garnering social approval. But I don’t miss it enough for it to be worth working this job.

7. The hope that this would be a job I would want to do, and that it would lead to wanting further education and degrees and so forth. It is valuable to have found it is a dead-end (I DON’T want a further nursing degree), but there’s that sad feeling anyway. I remember on my first shift I was scared but I felt chin-up confident: this is scary, but it is the first step toward something that may very well turn out to be something I really want. I hadn’t felt that way about any of my other jobs, ever: all the others (bakery, greenhouse, daycare, pharmacy technician) always felt like temporary things to earn money, not possible launchings of careers.

I am looking for a new shower curtain. I liked our old one very much: I got it at Target, and it was in the muted colors I like, and it had squirrels and owls and trees. I thought I had a better picture of it in a post somewhere, but this post about finding a matching valance is the best photo I can find.

Then Paul painted the bathroom bright deep yellow, despite the fact that the last time we discussed the topic it emerged that we have non-intersecting opinions about yellow: I like muted yellows with a touch of brown; he likes preschool yellows with a touch of crayon. After trying and trying and finding no yellows even close to being in common, I said, “Well, it can’t be yellow then.” Several months went by. Then, when I was away one weekend, he painted it one of his yellows. I have not discussed the new paint here before now, even though it happened back in May, because it is hard to know where to start and what to say, and also marriage sometimes seems like a really dumb concept. But anyway, the bathroom is yellow. Like a marigold yellow which is, at least, not one of the yellows I hate. And now my shower curtain looks all wrong with it. Which is okay, because I was getting a little tired of the shower curtain.

 

Rainbow Meditation. This one catches my eye in a “go big or go home” kind of way. Like, Paul wants bright? I’LL GIVE HIM BRIGHT.

 

Beautiful Mandala. Another contender in the “nice and colorful” category.

 

Warm Rugby Stripe. The yellow stripe pretty much exactly matches the yellow of our bathroom, but this curtain does not call out to me.

 

Polka-Dots. This really caught my eye, but further contemplation is not resulting in deeper desire to buy.

 

Periodic Table of Elements. I wish I liked this more.

 

Forest Friends. I wondered if black and white might look cool with the yellow, but Elizabeth was adamant than it would not.

 

Bluesy.

 

Bubbly Babies.

 

Miss Penelope. But the white area just above and to the right of center looks to me as if someone scribbled with the erase tool.

 

Jellybean Giraffes. Leaning heavily toward this. But if the yellow is wrong, it would really look bad I think.

 

Favorite Floral.

 

Paisley.

 

Flamingo shower curtain. There are two ways to tell if something is in style, or coming into style:

1. Suddenly you like it, even if you hadn’t given it much thought before, and yet it feels as if you are among the few to notice the appeal, and

2. it is curiously available—but not OVER-available.

So for example, if I am out shopping and I see something patterned with flamingos, and I think, “Oh!! FLAMINGOS! Cool! Unusual! Hard to find!,” and then a week or two later I see some flamingo-patterned socks, and then I have the urge to sit at my computer browsing for more flamingo things, and then I add flamingo earrings to my wish list, I can be relatively certain flamingos are coming into style and/or already in style.

Advantage to this particular flamingo shower curtain: flamingos
Disadvantage: doesn’t immediately strike me as being good with strong yellow walls

 

Flamingos, second attempt. I think this one would be much better with the yellow.

 

Library. I would like to say two things. One, that I love this. Two, that it would have gone GREAT with the plain old white walls I wanted.

 

Something I had not realized before starting an online shower-curtain search is how much more…varied the selection is than what is available in stores. For example:

Cat eating a fish snowcone.

 

Christmas-icon-patterned world map, on a peach background.

 

Strips of floral-painted wood, overlaid with the silhouette of a deer head.

 

Flag ‘n’ guns.

 

The kind of unusable bathroom I find in bad dreams about needing to pee.

 

Give Thanks. For very, very thorough seasonal decor.

 

Fighter cat riding a unicorn.

 

Director’s chair. For the movie-director-themed bathroom.

 

I…what.

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger.

 

Wolf + purple lightning bolt = obvious combination.

 

Mini Stormtroopers with daisies.

 

Brazilian Carnival Costumes in Rio Samba Dance Decor Bathroom Decorations Drums and Key Holder Parrots Palms Party Masks Gifts for Dancer Women Men Shower Curtain. There is a lot going on here, which I think the shower curtain’s title accurately reflects.

 

Sharp Shirter Haymaker. Sharp. Shirter. Haymaker. That’s all the information we’re given.

 

Fire-breathing walrus.

Things I should be doing right now:

1. Researching/arranging more college visits.
2. Thinking about what to have for dinner tonight.
3. Cleaning anything, ANYTHING AT ALL.
4. Taking a walk to fight against inevitable decline and death.

Instead, I am looking at cute school supplies. For me, I mean. The children are all set. These are the pencils I just ordered on the encouragement of Twitter friends:

Kikkerland Woodland Pencils. I’ve had them in my Amazon cart for literally years. They’ve been $9ish, and I thought they were really cute but NINE DOLLARS FOR FOUR PENCILS ARE THEY IN FACT KIDDING ME. Plus, I kept thinking I’d see them in a store for less. Yesterday they dropped to $6ish. Today I bought three sets: one set for me, two to give as gifts. I am feeling conflicted, yet happy.

In part I was fortified by the success of these pens by the same company:

Kikkerland retro pens. My sister-in-law and sister-in-law’s sister and I were out shopping at cute gift shops when we found these cute pens. My sister-in-law and I were both wavering, because they were something like $7 and that seemed kind of pricey for what were probably inferior pens dressed up in cute exteriors. Then the clerk said, “Oh, those pens are so cute, I had to have some. And you know what, they actually write really well! I’d assumed they’d be terrible, but they weren’t!” Well, how about SOLD? And she was right: they ARE really great pens. Since then I’ve bought two more sets for myself, and two more to give as gifts. I just love them. They go up and down in price on Amazon, so I keep them in my cart and buy them in the $6-7 range.

 

I have something to add to the underwear post. First, after not being able to find the Hanes Constant Comfort in my size/cut for AGES, Target had one of those temporary cardboard displays set up with a TON of them, and in a 4-for-the-price-of-3 pack. I bought two packs, even though I am nervous about them being undersized.

Also, I found these, but in different colors, at Walmart for $10:

Fruit of the Loom Cotton Stretch Hi-Cuts (or here’s another listing for what looks like the same thing and may or may not yield a better price). Notice they claim to have a “comfort covered waistband.” So, okay, I hate to gamble $10, but if they’re good, that’s great; and if they’re not good, I paid $10 for info. That’s the way I’m looking at it.

I washed just one pair, figuring that if I hated them I could donate the rest of the package. I don’t hate them, but I don’t love them either. The fabric is indeed stretchy, in a way I can’t tell if I like or not. It IS nice not to feel as if I’m wrestling myself into them. Also, they’re plenty big, which is a nice change after the running-small Hanes that have been hurting my feelings lately. The colors/patterns are okay: my pack had solid magenta, magenta with white polka-dots, solid teal, teal with white polka-dots, black, and white (my pack didn’t have a bonus pair).

But they seem more like briefs than hi-cuts, or at least like a briefs/hi-cut hybrid. And the fabric feels very thin, not nice and cottony. I mean, it’s not slippery/satiny either, but…I don’t know. Anyway, I guess I’m keeping them. I don’t think I’m rushing out to buy more of them, either, but we’ll see. I hate this point I always seem to get to with plus-size clothing, where it’s like “Does it work AT ALL, even SORT OF?? Then I’d better STOCK UP.” But here we are.

I would like suggestions for plus-sized underwear. The kind I like has been long-since discontinued, and I have cherished my remaining pairs so long I can no longer pretend the holes in the sides are sexy lace accents.

The ones I had before were Hanes, and they had the following attributes:

1. They were 100% cotton, except for the elastic. I have noticed that finding anything in 100% cotton is a bit of a challenge, so I am willing to go for a cotton-poly blend—but I would be much more reluctant to try nylon or anything slippery.

2. The elastic waistband was covered with cotton fabric. This was called a ComfortSoft waistband, I think. I really liked this, and would be drawn to similar.

3. They were the style known as hi-cut. I would be willing to try another style, I guess. But I don’t like briefs, especially in plus sizes. I suspect I would look dumb in the boy-short style, but I guess I’ve never TRIED. I used to like the bikini style, but now they bother my c-section scar; I suspect the hipster style would have the same issue.

4. They could be purchased in 3-packs for about $10. I am willing to pay more these days, but I did so appreciate being able to just pick up a pack at Target.

5. They were available in solid, non-neutral colors. I don’t like beige or white (black and grey are fine); I dislike most patterns. My favorite is if I can have an assortment of pretty colors: one pair turquoise and one pair bright pink and one pair aqua and one pair royal blue and one pair purple and one pair light green and so on.

 

I don’t know why I hate the regular Hanes hi-cuts. I’d THINK they’d be pretty much exactly like what I used to buy, except for the uncovered elastic—but no, everything about the fit is wrong. I bought a pack, threw away the pair I tried on, and donated the rest.

 

These are the ones I started buying instead, when my supply first started getting skimpy:

They’re Hanes, they’re a cotton-poly blend, the waistband is soft, they’re hi-cut, they can be purchased in 3-packs for about $10. Unfortunately:

1. The last, say, twenty times I’ve gone to the two Targets near me, they haven’t had them in my size/cut. I could buy them online, but then I don’t get to approve the color/pattern selection.

2. The last time I DID find them at Target, they were smaller than they had been before. It is hard to know for sure who is to blame for this (maybe they’re the same size as before but my older ones have gradually stretched?), but there are online reviews that say the brand is now running a size small. And I am buying the top size Target sells already, so I can’t just go a size up.

3. In each three-pack, there tends to be one solid-colored pair I like, one solid-colored pair I dislike (beige, for example, or taupe), and one patterned pair I wear only one week a month because I dislike them so much I don’t care if they get ruined. This feels like a waste of money. I wish I could pair up with two other women my same size, one of whom likes patterns and one of whom likes neutrals, and we could swap. As it is, I was thinking if I bought three packs at a time, I could carefully re-package the three patterned pairs into one pack and donate them.

 

So anyway, I am open to suggestions.

All day I kept thinking, “Wasn’t there something I was supposed to do today? Grocery shopping? No. Appointment? No. Kid activity? No.” OH! CHOOSE THE WINNERS OF MY FRIEND’S BOOK!

The winners are:

1. Joanne
2. BKC (8/17 at 11:39 a.m.)
3. Stacie (8/16 at 3:40 p.m.)

I’ll email the three winners and get shipping info! Everyone else: check your libraries! We were planning to donate copies to our library—but they had already bought two on their own! (Or if you have the spare cash, of course it would be extremely pleasing if you bought the book, but I will not be pushy. Except at the holidays when I’m making gift-idea posts: then I plan to push a little.)

One of my dearest friends had something exciting happen this month: Knopf published her book.

Horus and the Curse of Everlasting Regret. I think the cover art is SO CUTE.

It has been a long and very exciting wait: I remember when she got the news that the book had been chosen and it seemed like August 2016 was A MILLION YEARS AWAY and would NEVER be here. But now it is here. I went to a bookstore today, and there it was on the shelf! multiple copies of it! RIGHT ON THE SHELF WITH OTHER REAL BOOKS. IN A REAL BOOKSTORE IN MY ACTUAL TOWN.

Anyway. I recommend it. All seven of us at my house have read it. The target age is around 8-12 years, approximately grades 3-7. I don’t usually like to read juvenile fiction so I was worried I’d have to do some suffering for my friend’s sake, but actually I really liked it. It reminded me of the Harry Potter books, where you don’t really feel as if you’re reading a “kid book” per se, except in that you find yourself thinking how much you would have loved it when you were a kid.

It is a little bit of an adventure/thriller/suspense book, with exciting parts. There is good comic relief to keep things from being too tense—but they are a little tense. The mummy is a good mummy, not a scary one. And there is a darling, darling, DARLING, not-scary pet bat.

Anyway! The hardcover is on a really good price right now on Amazon, so I will buy three copies to give away. (U.S. shipping addresses only.) Leave a comment below to enter. (Or you can leave a comment below if you’re NOT entering, and just add that you’re not entering.) You can just say “Enter!” or whatever, but if you like to write a little more, it would be fun to hear who you’d be winning it for: yourself, your kids, relatives, whatever. I’ll pick three names on Friday, August 19th, at around noon Pacific time. [Winners]

I am back from visiting my parents, and I am a little punchy: because of the time changes and the difficulty of getting from this particular point A to this particular point B, two days out of the previous five have involved staying up for 23 hours in a row, and I am getting a bit old for that.

I have so many things to say, I’m sitting here with a mind like a bag of mice. I’ve asked the children to please give me a 45-minute chunk of time, and I’ve given them a piece of paper to write down all the things they will think of to tell me as soon as my eyes focus on the computer screen. When I made this request I had already listened to 45 minutes of Pokemon Go, Dungeons and Dragons, cute things the cats did, and what they bought with their tickets at the arcade Paul took them to, so I feel I have earned a little time with my sorely-missed computer.

All our flights went beautifully and on time, with no cancellations and only one small delay (waiting for passengers from a delayed flight) that the pilot was able to make up for during the flight, and I’m not sure the last time that happened with flights I was on. The mid-90s, maybe? We flew Southwest. I love Southwest. Top favorite airline, would check their site first every single time. And if you are wondering if Early Bird Check-In (which puts you early in the pick-your-own-seat boarding order) is worth it, I vote YES YES YES A MILLION TIMES YES, especially if you dislike middle seats and/or if you have traveling companions you’d like to sit with. And if I fly another airline I have to pay to check my luggage (Southwest lets you check two suitcases for free), so I just mentally transfer the baggage-check fees to the Early Bird Check-In costs.

I was so happy I’d put my phone-charging cable in my carry-on, because there were outlets ALL OVER the airports. This is something probably most of you know. But I think the last time I traveled, I had not yet started playing phone games, and was only charging my phone every couple of days.

I was also happy I decided in advance to pay the high prices for airport food. It added significant, worth-it fun to the whole thing, for me and for Rob and William. It is hard to pay $26 for a pizza when usually I pay $14-minus-a-coupon, but AFTERWARD it seems like a ZERO-BIG-DEAL difference, and it’s nice to have a meal that isn’t granola bars and water, and the kids were like, “This is AWESOME.”

I read 1.75 books while I was gone:

Britt-Marie Was Here, by Fredrik Backman. I don’t want to talk about the book too much, because I thought the best part was how it unfolded when I didn’t know anything about it beforehand. But I will say that during the first chapter, I did not think there was a high chance of finishing it. And then I ended up loving it, and I have added two more books by this author to my library list.

 

Chestnut Street, by Maeve Binchy. This is one of Maeve Binchy’s posthumously-published books, and it is painful to know there are no more books coming (probably), so I saved it for a special occasion. I’d say that if I had read it without knowing it was put together by other people after she died, I would have thought, “Huh. She’s kind of slipping a bit, but I guess that’s normal after so many books.” The preface says she “would have wanted” this book published, but I think she would have wanted to work on it a bit more. I suspect that the people who profit from it are the ones who wanted it published. STILL, I am three-fourths of the way through it and I am enjoying a lot of it. My review sounds so tepid, when actually I would definitely recommend the book; it’s just that I feel a little irritated on her behalf that people seem to be attempting to rake in as much money as possible. Also, I guess I’d first recommend anything published while she was alive and could approve the final drafts. ANYWAY. Moving on.

Actually, my time is up. More coffee now, more talking soon.

I have some frets to vent. They are all small. I sense Paul has reached his limit for small-fret-listening, and yet I still have fretting to do, and so here we are.

I am supposed to get my hair cut tomorrow, after months spent REALLY REALLY wanting to cut it shorter and being VERY tempted to just cut off big chunks of it myself and FINALLY getting around to making the phone call and then LONGING for the appointment to be sooner and waiting impatiently for it to arrive. I was thinking of something between chin and shoulder. And now I am chickening out. I’ve had my hair longish for a long enough time now that I am not sure what I DO with it when it is shorter. Also I am nervous she will hurt the new piercing. I worked myself into a very silly panic about the whole thing, where I was spinning around thinking “AAAAGGGGHH the embarrassment of cancelling!!!” vs. “AAAAAGGGGHHH not sure I want it shorter!!!”—until I realized I could just go to the appointment and have her take an inch off and avoid BOTH unpleasant outcomes. Now I feel less panicky but am back to thinking, “But should I get it cut shorter? I’ve really been sick of washing it and brushing it and dealing with it lately. And it’ll grow back out, if I regret it. But I don’t know what I do with it when I don’t twist it into a quick bun.” I wish hair-growth were more adjustable, so that it could stay put when we have a great cut, or grow ultra-fast if we regret one.

My new piercing is itchy. It is a little bit swollen and a little bit pink, and I have been searching online for information about infection, but it is not meeting the standards for that: it looks as if this is “irritation” rather than “infection.” The information I’m finding is soothingly condescending, like “You have to realize you have put a foreign object into your body, and your body’s job is to get rid of it. Have patience and give your body time to adjust.” But this itchy tenderness is making me even less want a hair cut: I’ve been pulling my hair way away from the piercing, and if it’s shorter I have to re-figure-out all my ways of doing that. (I can always just have her take an inch off. I can always just have her take an inch off. It will grow back. It will grow back.)

My weight keeps going up. I don’t really want to talk about it more than that. I just want to let you know that that is one of my fret clouds right now.

I’m taking the two older boys with me on a trip to see my parents, and the fretting about air travel has begun. What if the check-in takes forever. What if we miss our connection. What if it’s so tight that we have to do one of those panicked-dashes-for-the-gate AND we lose the earlier-boarding-for-a-better-seat we paid extra for and we all end up in middle seats in separate rows. What if I accidentally bring something I’m not supposed to bring. What if they don’t believe me that my 6’3″ child is a minor, and they demand to see his ID. What if I forget something. Soothing techniques: Remembering it has all gone fine in the past, even when things have gone wrong. Remembering that anything I might accidentally forget is almost certainly something I can re-purchase. Remembering that I always get all worked up, and then when I’m actually traveling I wonder why I got so worked up when it’s not really that big a deal. Adding “student ID” and “copy of birth certificate” to list.

I have a lot of errands to do before I go. Some of them are things I need to acquire for the trip or handle for the trip; others are things I need to do/acquire for the household I’ll be leaving behind. I tend to get overly worked up about both lists, feeling as if all those things MUST be done or LORD HELP US ALL. When actually, Paul could go to the store for milk, and I could buy saline in my parents’ town; and if it REALLY came to it, I could pay $1/pill for Dramamine at the airport.

There. I think that’s all. I sit ready to listen to your fret-venting now, if you like.

*runs up you you, panting heavily, and grips your upper arm*: DID YOU KNOW YOU COULD JUST BUY EAR-PIERCING EARRINGS ON AMAZON?? FOR HARDLY ANY MONEY??

I waited until my order arrived to tell you about it, because it felt as if it could not be the case that I would buy a 12-pack of assorted ear-piercing earrings for about a dollar a pair and have them be, like, actually the same earrings they pierce earlobes with at thirty bucks a double-pop. But now I have seen it with my own eyes. (In fact, you can also buy an ear-piercing gun, but NO THANK YOU, I’M ALL SET.)

I wanted ear-piercing earrings for MULTIPLE REASONS:

1. Elizabeth wants to change her earrings about twice a year, so I like to get her earrings she can just leave in all the time

2. I am the same way about my upper-lobe piercings: I just like to leave a pair of earrings in all the time without taking them out or changing them

3. In 6-9 months I will be able to change my cartilage piercing, and I will want something very surgical-steely for that

 

I have little mini gold studs I wear in my upper-lobe piercings, and because “piercing is free, just buy the earrings,” and because I didn’t realize I could buy locking-back surgical-steel earrings anywhere other than a piercing place, I paid THIRTY DOLLARS for those earrings (I did not need another set of piercings, just smaller studs than I’d had my ears pierced with). Now I find the EXACT SAME ONES for slightly over a dollar a pair. This makes the whole thing seem like a rip-off. Which is silly, because all along it has NOT been free piercing, it has been $30 (or whatever) for piercing-including-earrings. But they SAY it is $30 for just the earrings, and I am very irritated by irritating marketing ploys. And I am so annoyed that they followed right through with that ploy and actually did charge me $30 for just the earrings.

Anyway! I am sorry, I am so wound up with excitement, I am not composing this post in an organized fashion.

What happened was this: I was writing the post about my fresh new cartilage piercing, and I wanted to find a picture that illustrated what I meant by “non-bezel-set,” because I’m not sure what that other kind of setting is called (I would call it “regular,” maybe). And the hits I got for images of ear-piercing earrings included some from items listed on Amazon, like this one, that looked VERY VERY MUCH like the earrings I’d been offered at my recent piercing session:

Surgical Steel Ear Piercing Studs 12 Pairs Mixed Colors White Metal

And so I clicked through, and I read the details, and I read the reviews, and with hope and disbelief I ordered three sets: the silver-looking bezel-set ones above, the same basic deal in gold-looking metal, and a 12-pack of mini gold studs. And they arrived, and they appear to be FOR REAL. Behold!

There is perforation between each pair of earrings, so you can tear off just one set. You could give a few pairs in her favorite colors to a niece with recently-pierced ears, and keep the rest for yourself!

They have the sharp points and the locking backs. They look identical to the ear-piercing earrings I’ve bought before (for THIRTY DOLLARS A PAIR). They are glorious. I love them. I am so happy.

This is what the backs of the packages look like (blue is what’s on the back of the two sets of colored stones; red is what’s on the back of the gold studs):

I am especially pleased with the 12-pack of mini gold studs (2mm instead of 4mm like the usual piercing studs). I’ve been wearing mine for so many years that the plating has mostly worn off and they look silver, but DARNED if I was paying another $30! Now I have TWELVE PAIRS, all shining and golden! But those are also the ones I’m most nervous about, because they are a different brand than the others, and they are the only one with a review saying they irritated the reviewer’s ears so she wondered if they were not surgical steel as advertised. Well! We will see!

Another set I considered but decided against is this one: it has only six pairs, and includes duplicates from the other sets—but it has stars, hearts, and pearls. I also considered this set, which is what I was originally looking for when I set out to find a picture of what I meant by “non-bezel-set”/”regular” (and here they are in silver-color). Turns out it’s called “prong style.”