It’s Friday, and time to choose the winners of the “We Love The Children’s Place but Their Policies are Getting Kind of Lame” Giveaway!

Winner One: Elizabeth of Princess Nebraska!

Winner Two: Manda of Feed Your Inner Fat Kid!

Both mentioned Set A, so I flipped a coin and it was tails and Elizabeth was tails.

Dudes, email me! (Swistle! at! gmail! dotcom!) I will get some cute baby girl clothes on their way to you!

I was at The Children’s Place on Saturday, because I had two $10-off certificates that expired that day and I was NOT about to waste those suckers. I was looking forward to it, because I knew there was a lot of stuff on sale, but then I got into a Loop of Despair: as I browsed the clearance stuff (which there was a TON of: my store usually sends their clearance stuff to an outlet store but this time they kept it in-store), I kept thinking, “Oh this is good!—but we really don’t need another one, and in fact I should go through and donate some so the drawer will close.”

Finally (and the word “finally” does not adequately convey how many laps I made around the store) I decided to buy the couple of clearance scraps I wanted plus two pairs of yoga pants for Elizabeth. The pants were 2/$18, which I consider wayyyyyy overpriced for thin sweatpants that routinely go on clearance for $2.99 (or, like, $1.24 at Target), but she COULD use them and I had to talk myself around to the idea that it was a matter of using up the free money and not having a cow about it.

I went to the register, and it turns out there is a new policy about those certificates: one per customer per visit (the certificates are purchase rewards, so this is irritating). The clerk, fortunately, was willing to buck this rule by ringing me up in two separate purchases so I could use both—but there was no way to divide my stuff to do that. I had the 2/$18 yoga pants which were $12 each if bought separately, and I had two $2.99 items. I could have done a pair of yoga pants separately and paid $2 for it, and then paid $8 for the other pair and the two clearance items, but I objected to spending $6 more for yoga pants I WAS BUYING two of, just because of the new coupon rule.

So I retreated to rethink. I made another lap around the store. And that is when I realized I was not able to spend the certificates on my own family in a way that would please me. I could buy things we didn’t need. OR I could buy things that would make me mad about the “2-for” pricing and the “1 coupon” rule. But there was NO solution that would result in me coming home with things I needed AND a happy attitude.

So instead I bought things for YOU. I looked around, decided what would be most fun for me to buy (baby girl clothes, duh), and spent those two certificates right up. Things were on such good clearances ($.99-$2.99) I was able to get two nice little sets. And so now we are going to have a giveaway, which is good because I am still feeling wan and blue, and I find giveaways cheering.

Set A:
0-3 months flowered corduroy jumper with matching diaper cover
0-3 months pink bodysuit, crammed artlessly into jumper
0-6 months pink tights
0-3 months embroidered jeans
0-6 months two-pack of pink booties (one stripe, one solid)

Set B:
0-3 months embroidered denim jumper with matching diaper cover
0-3 months pink bodysuit, crammed artlessly into jumper
0-6 months pink tights
3-6 months pink velour pants with cat face on rear
6-12 months pink velour hat with ears
0-6 months two-pack of pink booties (one stripe, one solid)

You are eligible to enter if you have a U.S. mailing address (your own or the address of the person you want me to send the stuff to) AND one of the following applies:

1. You are pregnant with a baby girl right now.

2. You had a baby girl about 5 minutes ago (most of the stuff is 0-3 months and that gets outgrown fast).

3. A close friend or family member is pregnant with a baby girl or had a baby girl about 5 minutes ago.

There are two packages so there will be two winners. I can ship the prize to you or I can ship it to someone you tell me to ship it to.

To enter, leave a comment telling me who would get the prize if your comment won. If you have a preference for one set over the other set, mention that too—you might still win the non-preferred set, but if I draw two names and there are preferences I can meet, that makes it even more fun (if both want the same set, I’ll flip a coin). If you’re not entering but just want to squeee over the baby clothes or vent about annoying “2-for” and “1 coupon” rules, feel free.

I’ll choose the winners on Friday the 5th.

As of today, there is a dishwasher in my kitchen. My dad installed it this morning. I have put three (3) spoons in it already, but then I accidentally washed my salad bowl in the sink. Well, not accidentally per se, but it seemed like when it just had a few smudges of salad dressing in it and all I’d need to do is give it a quick swish in the sink it would be silly to waste all that space. All that space in my 3-spoons-containing dishwasher.

So this means that soon Paul and I will find out if we have any of those Couple Disagreements about how the dishwasher should be loaded! Or if either of us is a “pretend not to notice it needs unloading” person! Or if either of us is a “can’t tell if dishwasher is clean or dirty” person! Considering it took us a decade to work out a good sink-washing system and we STILL sometimes have trouble with it, I am GIDDY with anticipation!

We have a drafty window right over our bed, and my project each winter is stopping the freezing breezes from drifting down the wall onto our heads. One year I tried moving the bed, but that didn’t work because the room is too small for the bed to make sense anywhere but where it is. One year I tried one of those long sand bag things. One year I tried towels stuffed inside and outside the window.

This year I tried insulating curtains. The first set cost $40 for two panels and were a total failure: they in fact CHANNELED the cold air so that it hit our heads with less diffusion. I returned them.

Yesterday I considered some curtains that cost $70 for two panels and looked like quilts. Then I thought maybe I should just get a quilt if I could find one on clearance, and it is the right time of year for that. We don’t use that window for light (the shade usually stays down all day) so I don’t need panels that can be opened and closed. Several aisles over, a nice brown one with the stitching done in circles, from Target’s Vintage Modern Thomas O’Brien line, 75% off so it was $25.

It’s king-sized, so I folded it in half (by folding both edges to the center line—that makes both edges nice and pretty), and then put it over the curtain rod like hanging a towel on a towel bar. I tugged on the front part until the back part exactly fit into the window area. So now the window has two layers of quilt (like the part of the towel that would be against the wall) pressed right up against it, and then there are two more layers of quilt (like the front part of the towel) resting against that to hold it in place.

We tested it last night and it’s great. Plus, it’s easy to take down in the spring when we want to be able to open the window. Plus, it’s still a king-sized quilt, so when we eventually replace that window with something less drafty, we can use the quilt on our bed.

(It looks like light is pouring in under the window, but that’s light shining in from a window on an adjacent wall.)

If yesterday you saw a new review appear, then disappear, then appear in the sidebar but be gone when you clicked on it, the problem is now resolved and here it is: a review of 200-calorie portions of pizza [review blog no longer exists, so link has been deleted]. One of the changes that the review had to be taken down for is that the giveaway changed from $100 to $200, so, uh, I’d say that was worth the little glitches.

Can we please talk a little bit about the annual BlogHer conference? Every year I think about going. So far I never have. I am, as I may have mentioned once or twice, socially anxious. Like, PSYCHIATRICALLY-DIAGNOSED socially anxious, not, like, “Oh, I’m a little shy around people.” (And incidentally, I was totally on my own there spelling the word “psychiatrically,” so if it’s supposed to be “psychiatricly,” neither I nor the spell-checker knew it, and I’m pretty sure that if it’s a contest I win because the spell-checker’s idea was “psychically.”)

OMG OUT IN PUBLIC. MAYBE NO ONE WILL SEE ME.

But I think I’d like to go. I’ve been inspired by The Bloggess (perhaps don’t click that link for a couple of days until her top post isn’t quite so gross), who ALSO needs chemicals to get through social interactions, and SHE goes to BlogHer so it CAN BE DONE. I like her idea of wearing a Confidence Wig, too. I wonder if that would work for me. Do you think if I go I should get a wig, or do you think it would just look copycatty? I think it would look copycatty. Perhaps I could do a Confidence Halloween Mask. Or, well, “confidence” still sounds copycatty, so it could be an Intestinal Fortitude Halloween Mask.

I fret like crazy over practicalities. Like, “OMG HOW WOULD I GET THERE?” and “OMG HOW WOULD I FIND THE HOTEL?” and “WOULD I HAVE TO TAKE A TAXI? I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH TO TIP!!” Other worries:

• How would I book the hotel room, and what if I want to share, how would that work? And how many people can share? And does one person have to pay and the others reimburse? Because that kind of thing gives me a huge worry wrinkle.

• When do the conference tickets usually sell out by? I’d rather get the Early Bird pricing anyway, but just in case I dither too long.

• Do the hotel rooms fill up fast so I should get one early or else I’ll get stuck trying to find another hotel in New York?

• Food? Is there food? Do I have to bring my own or else get stuck paying for very expensive room service?

• I don’t think I act socially anxious on my blog, because I’m NOT socially anxious when I’m sitting alone at my computer typing. So won’t everyone I meet be like, “YOU’RE not Swistle! YOU BIG FAKER!”?

• I know it is ridiculous, but I get stressed about clothes. If I wear pedal pushers and a t-shirt and sandals, and none of it is anything that would make anyone say “OH SQUEE CUTE!!!” (in fact, probably the VERY pedal pushers and sandals as in the photo above), will I stand out like a sore thumb? Or will other people dress like that too?

• Do I need to have a laptop?

• People get business cards printed for these things, right? I don’t know how to do that.

• How WOULD I find the hotel? (And WOULD I have to take a taxi?)

My attitude is poor this morning. Type of poorness: obsessive mental arguments with everyone who has ever said anything unfair/untrue, plus disproportionate self-pity for household crimes such as people keep taking my scissors and not putting them back, plus large-scale crabbiness about organizations and how they do things, plus self-disdain for personality traits such as wimpiness, plus near-boiling-point frustration with the CHILDREN and their CONSTANT TALKING/INTERRUPTIONS. I am attempting a coffee-related attitude adjustment, but I’ve got no-bake cookies on stand-by.

Here is something I am crabby about: I am ELIGIBLE and WILLING to donate blood, and in my area there are signs everywhere with panic-inducing declarations of emergency-level needs, but all the blood drives are, like, from 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. on weekdays. Er? I am guessing that I should not bring three preschoolers with me to something like that. I am further guessing that I am not the only citizen who would find a weekend or evening donation slot useful. Even a late-afternoon would help, because I could have Paul come home from work a little early so I could go. But 9:00 to 2:00? That makes it particularly annoying to read the guilt-trip stuff about how only a tiny percentage of eligible donors bother to donate. ORLY? Is this perhaps something we could change by BOTHERING TO MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR THEM TO DONATE? *pant pant*

There’s a donation center 20 miles away in an unpleasant downtown area (all one-way streets and expensive parking), but they too have hours such as 7:30-1:30 on weekdays, and when they do have evening/weekend hours it’s for the more complex donations like platelets and double red cell. What I want is to donate REGULAR BLOOD, and I want to do it NEARISH MY HOUSE, and I want to do it at a time that MAKES SENSE. Considering I am giving up a chunk of my free time AND part of my own personal body for ZERO personal benefit (okay, there are cookies, but they’re not GOOD cookies), I think these are reasonable requests.

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Thank you for your helpful advice about Mouse. I wet down her dry cat food with a little water and she scarfed it down. I also moved her water dish away from her food dish, and I saw her drinking out of it later that day. And I’m also planning to take her to the vet, though what that means is that I won’t get around to it until I get the reminder card in the mail.

I get stressed about vet appointments because they seem to escalate so quickly into a level of medical care I wouldn’t even choose for my insurance-covered SELF. I feel like such a heel asking the COST of things, as if MONEY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE SANCTITY OF LIFE, but I am not $1500 worth of curious to find out why my healthy-seeming elderly cat is off her oats—and also, there are not many procedures I’ll do if the tests DO show problems, so it seems like it’s not worth it to reveal or rule out every possible issue.

And I KNOW they are just giving me my options since many people DO want to do the full spectrum of tests and treatments, and a normal person would just say yes or no and not think of it at all, but they state it as if they’re assuming I’ll do the full works and I find it difficult to start any sentence that suggests otherwise. I wish they would state ALL the options including the ones where we DON’T do the tests and treatments or do SOME of them, and I wish there were an easier way to tell the vet at the beginning what sort of pet owner I was—like, a form where I could choose to check off a box that says “I am willing to go as far as, like, giving her an inexpensive pill each day for a simple problem, but she’s a 15-year-old cat and so let’s not spend $1500 on tests to diagnose an illness I’m not going to treat.”

Actually, I guess I could tell the vet this information using, like, my VOCAL CORDS. But I would so prefer a checkbox form.

Let there be ANOTHER hotpad!

This one is two strands of cotton (instead of one strand cotton and one strand wool like the first one), but still on size 6 needles. One strand changes from yellow to white and back again; the other strand changes from pink to white and back again. It’s fun to choose this kind of yarn and fun to knit with it, but the results remind me of the rag rugs I used to buy for $1 for my apartment so I think maybe next time I will use non-color change.

Did you already know this, that you can buy a big THING of Panera Bread’s cheddar-broccoli soup and just bring it home with you and put it in the fridge and heat some up whenever you want? The Panera counter girl acted all blasé about this, as if it weren’t worth having my eyebrows as high as I had them or my voice as quavery as it was. She just put some of the crusty soup-bread in the bag with the soup and told me what the total was. HAS SHE NO SOUL?? The heavens were opening up above her head and SHE DID NOT EVEN LOOK!

Speaking of eating, I mentioned the other day that our cat Mouse is acting all weird about her food and that like an idiot I Googled it. One of the less alarming possibilities was that as an elderly cat she could be having some trouble chewing things, and I remembered that when we visited the animal shelter awhile back there was a Cat Room for the elderly cats who needed to have soft food because of their teefies, so I got her some cans of food instead of her usual dry. She is EATING THAT STUFF UP.

But, uh. I mean, we buy the Iams dry food the shelter/vet recommended so we’re used to paying $30 for a bag of cat food without flinching (much), but this Iams wet food is 50 cents for a small can. She just ate nearly a full can for breakfast. Does this mean she is going to be eating $1 a day in cat food, and that I am going to be one of those people in line who has several teetering pillars of cat food cans? And here is the next question: will I be choosing kitty’s menu each night, standing before the cupboard wondering if kitty is more in the mood for salmon pâté or for lamb and rice? Well. I guess that would be all right.

The kids are still asleep and I hope they sleep a long time more. I’m not looking forward to seeing them today, I’m just not.

I have to take all five of them to a doctor’s appointment for one of them. I hate doing that.

Recent excellent 75%-off Target finds: fingerless gloves, earmuffs, Yes to Carrots lip balms/glosses, children’s sweaters, a pair of children’s winter boots, children’s sleepers, children’s glittery shoes. Recent excellent 50%-off Target finds: Nick & Nora children’s pajamas, children’s unders and socks, a hooded flannel shirt Rob has been pining for, picture frames I then actually put pictures in and hung on the actual wall, a baby blanket with hedgehogs on it, several boxes of granola bars for lunchbox snacks.

Last night’s dreams involved rooming with Jenn (we had a full bakery kitchen in our apartment, baker included, and neighbors spontaneously dropped in for huge potluck parties while we were trying to get ready in the morning), petting Georgie and Oliver which was upsetting and nice because I knew they were dead but here they were alive, and various Travel Fret scenarios (late for my flight! forgot to check in! no seats left on the plane!).

Mouse, our remaining cat, acts hungry but isn’t eating much. I Googled it like an idiot.

I’m switching to herbal tea in the mornings, in case the coffee is messing up my dreams. Also, I think the coffee might be to blame for how cranky I get mid-afternoon.

Parking at Home is having a giveaway to help alleviate a winter funk. Cute crocheted hats are involved.

I’m making another hotpad. This one is a little larger, possibly too much larger. Both strands are cotton, one a pink/white color change and the other a yellow/white color change.

There was a sale at the craft store and I bought more yarn than we can ever use. This is in addition to the yarn we already had at home, which was more than we could ever use. Rob asked me what my favorite part of knitting was, and I said “Buying yarn.”

I’m finally watching The L Word: I like a series to be over before I try it so I can watch it straight through on DVD. That’s a tricky show to watch with kids in the house—as has been the case with every Showtime/HBO series I’ve watched. It’s like they think the ABILITY to include swearing and nudity is a MANDATE to include it. It reminds me of college plays I went to (and I went to all of them because my boyfriend was a theater guy and sometimes had a 2-second appearance on stage—or even, once, A LINE): every single play involved the characters (1) smoking cigarettes and (2) firing the loud fake gun. WE HAVE THE ABILITY, THEREFORE WE MUST USE IT.