Do you remember last October when I wrote about how Walmart sells sneakily smaller packages for their “lower prices,” so that they often actually cost MORE while bragging that they cost less? I used the example of Luvs diapers, which Walmart packages 70 to a box while Target puts 80 in a box: it SEEMS like the Walmart box costs less—if you don’t happen to notice there are fewer diapers.

WELL. Reader Christine sent me another example:

I thought you would get a kick out of this one, please see the attached picture. I bought packs of Quilted Northern, 12 rolls each with identical packaging, one from each store. The roll on the left is Target, the one on the right is Wal Mart.

Pretty funny huh?

(photo by Christine)

This morning I made four phone calls that have been on my to-do list for…um, a long time. These weren’t even SCARY phone calls like calling about a denied claim or a statement error or a lost payment, these were absolutely standard, non-scary, making-normal-appointment calls.

One call had only been waiting two weeks for me to make it. That’s the one where I need to schedule an evaluation for Rob with the orthodontist to see if he’s ready now for braces. They sent me a little reminder card and it’s been sitting on the counter for two weeks.

I couldn’t make the orthodontist call until I’d made Rob an appointment with the dentist. We discovered that his “brushing his own teeth” was NOT GOING WELL. The school does dental screenings and sent a note home, and I took a look for myself and was APPALLED. And this brought up my Dentist Anxiety, which is that dentists seem to charge me until I run out of money, so I don’t like to go see them unless there is pain. Anyway, we discovered the tooth situation 9 months ago, so that’s how long that second call has been waiting. I could have GROWN AN ENTIRE BABY in that amount of time.

The third call is an eye exam for myself. My current glasses are so covered in teensy scratches it’s like they’re foggy. I can’t really say how long this call has been waiting for me to make it, but the last time I had an eye exam and new glasses, third-grade William was still in an infant carrier so that’ll give you a general idea.

The fourth call I made because I was on a roll: it’s so much easier to make calls when I am already making calls, so I made the cat her vet appointment for next month.

I made these calls about 2 hours ago and my legs are still jittery and my underarms are still damp.

I have been trying to think of ways to conquer this phone problem, since it negatively affects my life. The nickel-psychology is that you’re supposed to Face Your Fear and then you will stop being scared, but I’ve been making phone calls for more than a quarter-century and I’m still scared. I even worked as a RECEPTIONIST, and if that doesn’t thoroughly explore the Extinction Through Exposure method I don’t know what does.

In thinking about it, I realized that one of my MAIN stressors is not being able to hear very well on the phone. It’s partly the inevitable household noises, partly the connection, partly a silly reluctance to say “What?” (and a near-inability to say it more than once), and partly anxiety levels that make it even harder to process what I’m hearing. Our phone is already cranked up as high as it will go, volume-wise, but surely there are phones made for, like, older people, and surely those phones can be turned up to “thinks young people are always MUMBLING” levels.

In fact, a minute’s research on Amazon told me what to search for: “amplified telephone.” Here’s a likely-looking fellow: Clarity Amplified Phone, for mild to moderate hearing loss. It says the volume can be turned up to 18 decibels; it would be helpful to know the decibel level of a regular phone for comparison. There’s another one that’s more than twice the price but goes up to 43 decibels, so perhaps 18 decibels is for sissies. Or I could get the cordless one (30 decibels) for a price in between the other two.

Another idea: hire a receptionist.

I had a vivid dream last night that I had less than a week to live and that I was mentally composing a blog post where I asked you what you thought I should do/leave for the kids—like, videotapes or letters or what. Ack.

I’ve been feeling very Low and Listless the last few days. I’m self-medicating with coffee and with the recipe my sister-in-law sent me for popovers. It’s from The Joy of Cooking, and the asides are hers:

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Preheat oven to 450. Grease a standard 12 cup muffin pan or 12 six ounce custard cups. If using custard cups dust with flour, sugar, or grated Parmesan cheese.

Whisk together thoroughly in a large bowl:
1 cup flour
1/2 tsp salt

Whisk together in another bowl:
2 large eggs
1 1/4 cups milk
1 tbsp warm melted butter
Pour over the flour mixture and fold just until blended. A few small lumps may remain (Me=HA! Lots of lumps remained.) Fill the cups 2/3 to 3/4 full. Fill any unfilled cups 1/3 full with water so pan doesn’t burn.

Bake for 15 minutes at 450 degrees then reduce oven temperature to 350 and bake for 20 minutes more, until well browned and crusty. Do not open the oven to check on the popovers until the last 5 minutes to avoid deflating them. Remove from the oven, unmold onto a rack, and puncture the sides with a sharp knife to let steam escape. Serve immediately and TOTALLY RUIN YOUR DINNER BUT IT IS WORTH IT or return to a turned-off oven for up to 30 minutes for extra crispness.

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They’re easy to make and fun to watch in the oven because they PUFF UP. I like them with Nutella—also the sister-in-law’s suggestion. I think they’d be most perfect for breakfast, dipped in maple syrup. Or if I were having people over for dinner (ha ha ha) I think they’d make a fun surprising dinner roll.

On the way home from a shopping trip last weekend, I spontaneously stopped at the animal shelter to look at kitties. Well, as spontaneously as I ever do things, which is to say I thought about it on and off for weeks, then told the kids we MIGHT stop that day, then decided three miles before the shelter to stop there for sure, then reminded the kids it might not even be open, then wondered if I should change my mind, then used my right turn signal well in advance of the turn.

They didn’t have any kittens; apparently kittens are seasonal. Did you know that? That kittens are like produce? The shelter worker said we could start to call in mid-March to inquire as to kitten ripeness.

We’ve mostly decided to get a kitten, but we looked at the cats. I saw one I was drawn to, but she was already taken. I saw several more I liked well enough to get to know them better, but they were labeled as being for homes with no children or no other cats. Another was very nice but was 13 years old. Another was very nice but was in a bonded pair with a cat I didn’t like as much. I was happy not to find The Perfect Cat yet, since the shopping experience is so fun.

“I don’t care who started it.”

“No, I don’t want to hear any more tattling. You just worry about YOUR behavior and let ME worry about HIS.”

“You can tell me what he’s doing if he’s bleeding or on fire.”

“What is it now? Did I carve it in stone? No? Then find something else to do or I’LL find something. Listen, I need to get some WORK DONE today, and I CAN’T if you keep BOTHERING me.”

“I am truly glad when you take into account what I might or might not condone, but it doesn’t matter one half of one rat’s buttular region what YOU condone—or, even less important, MIGHT APPEAR TO condone. Are you the parent here? No. So are you in charge? No.”

“I SAID NO MORE TATTLING!!! That’s it, go clean your room!”

I have been meaning to give you an update on the reusable pad situation for AGES.

The short version: It’s going great and I love them.

The long version: What I did was, I ordered 1 or 2 pads from each of a bunch of Etsy sellers. I didn’t know what I was doing AT ALL and just tried to get an assortment of sizes and shapes. After trying them out I discovered my favorite type was long, hourglass-shaped, waterproof layer, stitched all around. My top favorites are the regular pads and long liners sold by SugarMonkies.

Here is what surprised me: I PREFER the cloth pads. I would RATHER use them. I’d thought I was making a Noble And Laudable Sacrifice For The Environment, but it turns out I like the cloth ones BETTER and would now choose them even if they were WORSE for the environment. Disposable pads are to cloth pads as disposable underwear is to cloth underwear: the cloth pads are so comfy and nice. This is not the way I’d expected things to be.

If you think you might interested in trying pads but you have reservations and concerns, what I suggest is buying just one or two. When I was considering switching, I got all overwhelmed about it—like, I must CHOOSE THE BEST KIND and then I must BUY A FULL EXPENSIVE SUPPLY and then I must COMMIT TO A STRANGE NEW WASHING ROUTINE, and then what if I don’t like them after all, OH WHAT THEN?? So I kept wringing my hands and putting it off. But there is no need to rush and/or commit. Take it slowwwwww.

Last time we talked, a few people mentioned the problem of not wanting to carry home used pads from work or a long day out of the house. Dear me, no, I wouldn’t want to either. You can use the cloth pads at home and the disposable kind when you’re out, or whatever combination works for you. There is no need to Fully Convert.

Same with Flow Issues: if you try a cloth pad and find them Insufficient (though I’ve found the ones with a waterproof layer to be the same sufficiency as disposables), you could use disposables early on and cloth later when things lighten up.

Perhaps you hate pads and only use tampons? Then cloth pads are not for you: they are a substitute for disposable pads. If you use a little liner with your tampon or in the last days of your period, though, there are little cloth liners available.

And perhaps you hate the whole idea and don’t want to try it or think about it and in fact right now you have the squeemies and feel like you need to go wash your hands? Dude, you will not hear WORD ONE from me about it. Each of us does the mix of Good For The Environment stuff that makes the most sense for our individual situations, and just because this one makes sense for me doesn’t mean I think it makes sense for you. Look at all the good stuff YOU do that I don’t do.

There are lots of ways to wash them, so I picked the one that most appealed to me. I start by buying the pads in medium or dark colors, which helps tremendously. I rinse each one in cold water, then wring it out and put it in a net lingerie bag hanging in the bathroom closet. When my period is over, I put the pads in a low, cold load of wash with a cup of vinegar and a full load’s worth of detergent, and I let them swish on the vigorous cycle and then soak for a few hours or overnight. Then I set the water level on high and add other clothes to make a full load and then run it (still cold water). Some people line-dry them; I put them through the dryer. If they don’t get completely dry, I put them in again with the next load of clothes I’m drying.

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Edit to add some questions from the comments section:

-R- asks:

How do they stay in place? They look like they might snap underneath?

Yes, all the ones I use have little wings that snap together on the other side.

Jessica asks:

1. when they snap around the crotch, do they slide from front to back? without adhesive like disposables is this a problem?
2. cleaning: is it kind of icky to rinse out or no big deal. Do you use your bare hands and your bathroom sink (I assume you would)?
3. Does Paul mind seeing the used-awaiting-laundry bag (see-through mesh I assume) when he opens the closet?

1. They do slide a little. I generally adjust each time I go to the bathroom. This is one reason I prefer pads that are on the LONG side, and also why I prefer the hourglass shape, which seems to slide less.

2. The first time I had to rinse one I felt kind of RESISTANT about it, but then it turned out to be no big deal. Yes, I use bare hands and bathroom sink.

3. He doesn’t mind the bag in the closet (it’s with the linens and spare bathroom supplies, so he rarely goes in there), but he doesn’t like to find a pad soaking in the sink. I guess I wouldn’t either, if it were someone else’s pad.

Ashley asks:

I go through several pads in a day (I like tampons at night), so does than mean I’d need the same amount of reusables a day? Do they last longer or do they get gross fast?

I find I go through about the same number of reusable as I did disposable. At first I was going to count and compare so I’d know for sure, but it turned out I was too forgetful to keep track. They’re less stainy and easier to rinse out if you change them more often.

Wendy asks:

I find myself balking at the prices. Since you have researched this, what links offered the cheapest options?

One thing I like about SugarMonkies is that her shipping is only $1.50, which is nice if you’re just trying one pad or if you’re buying a lot. She takes 10% off custom orders of three or more, which is nice if you decide to use them and start stocking up. Her prices are also the most reasonable to begin with. Randumosity has free shipping on sale pads, so that’s like a deal on top of a deal, and also you get one free if you buy three—so I would buy three sale pads, get a fourth sale pad free, AND get free shipping. I also had some success buying “seconds” from various sellers—pads that work just fine but that had little stitching errors. That’s kind of hit-and-miss, though—when I was first buying pads I found three or four of them, but I did a quick search now and didn’t find much.

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But the MOST IMPORTANT POINT here is that the cloth pads are WAY CUTER. And most sellers do custom orders, so you can pick the fabrics you like best.

SugarMonkies (my favorites):

Randumosity:

Epicerma:

Would you like to hear some advice? —This, by the way, is how my mom prefaces advice, and I recommend it for mothers of grown daughters. I always say yes, but it establishes that I have the OPTION to say no (note: this only works if the mother does not go right on with the advice even if the daughter says no) and that I also have the option to completely reject said advice and that she REALIZES all this, which puts down my natural daughterly defenses. Also, it allows me to make some pre-advice requirements, such as “Only if it’s NOT ____” or “Yes, but I want to warn you that I am feeling PRICKLY about this.”

Hm. In this format it works less well, because you can’t say yes or no and I know it, and because I’m going to tell you anyway, and also because you can’t make pre-advice requirements. …I’ll come in again.

Hey, I have some advice! Feel free to disregard it and/or modify it to your own requirements, of course! But here it is! Don’t feed a barfy child!

This is a lesson we learned with Child One, but we have had to relearn it occasionally. The child seems so ILL, and he/she has been throwing up all his/her nourishment so it seems like he she MUST EAT or surely he/she will be in MORTAL DANGER! But no. Our children have occasionally declined food for DAYS and never even look thinner.

Of course I don’t mean DEPRIVE the child of food if the child WANTS food. But our error is always trying to tempt or even COERCE the non-hungry, non-food-wanting child into eating because we feel in our panicky parental way that it is necessary to sustain life. This just makes more work and suffering (i.e., barfing) for everyone.

The very minute the first barfing occurs, we stop all dairy, meat, citrus, and fibrous produce. No pudding, no yogurt, no milk, no cheese, no chicken, no oranges, no orange juice, no grape/apple/etc. skins, no pineapple or whatevs. All those things make barf WAY worse than it has to be. We feed from this list:

• apple juice
• water
• applesauce
• bananas
• saltines
• graham crackers
• rice cereal for babies, Rice Chex for older kids
• toast with the tiniest bit of butter and/or jam and/or peanut butter

A child who has thrown up has to wait ten minutes to have anything to drink, and then they get water or apple juice in small amounts with breaks in between to be gentle to the recovering tummy. After thirty minutes they may try something small to eat (one saltine, for example), and then they have to wait twenty minutes before they can have anything else—again, to be respectful to the sensitive tummy. After 24 hours of no throwing up, they can go back to regular foods.

Obviously this is not a good and balanced diet for long-term use: we use it only for the kind of barfing that lasts 1-3 days, gradually improves rather than worsens, and doesn’t give us any reason to call in a doctor. And NONE of this is for babies who are still breastfeeding or bottlefeeding—this is all for older children. And OBVIOUSLY I am not any kind of medical professional (I have to think first in order to correctly use a toy stethoscope). But this is the Barf Plan we implement at our house, and it has greatly reduced the Barf Distress around here.

The winner of the box of misc. Valentine’s stuff is The Princess of Quite a Lot! Email me, sweet girl, and I will get this stuff on its way to you. Swistle! at! gmaildotcom!

Elizabeth’s hair is driving me batty. It is SO flyaway, and then she leaps around and rubs her head on the couch so she gets this NEST OF IMPOSSIBLE on her head. I try putting it in barrettes or ponytails, but her hair is so fine even the extra-grippy-for-fine-hair barrettes come right out—or worse, half out, so her hair is flyaway AND has things caught in it. I’ve tried detangling sprays and anti-frizz conditioners, but either they don’t work or they make her hair feel like there’s chalk dust in it.

Henry threw up last night. And before that, he and I and Elizabeth and Edward all shared a straw at Burger King. So. But what I’m HOPING, since there have been no further Incidents since last night, is that like Elizabeth he barfs when he has a fever (he had a fever last night) and it doesn’t necessarily mean anything about a stomach virus.

Today I am in the mood for TREATS. I am having hazelnut-creamered coffee and Nutella’d bread right now, and I’m thinking of pizza for lunch. Then perhaps I’ll bake cookies. YES I am on the reminder week of the Pill, WHY DO YOU ASK.

I bought the most. beautiful. dishes at Target. So, so beautiful. Here are my breakfast dishes, before I added the Nutella bread:

Furthermore, they were 75% off. I liked them at full price, when they were $60 for 4 place settings. I wavered at half-price, and even went back a second time to waver some more. But when they were $14.98 they went home with me. I lovvvvvvvvvve them.

Ack, the comment form. Several of you have emailed me about the embedded comment form not working for you, and don’t worry, you’re definitely not the only one. I’m not very computery, but I have two suggestions that have solved the problem for some people:

1. Make sure you’re waiting for the word verification. The word verification isn’t visible as you’re commenting, but after you click to leave the comment the page reloads and then the word verification is there. So if your computer is slow or if the internet is being wonky, you could click out of the page without realizing you hadn’t filled out the word verification yet, and the comment would seem to have been eaten.

2. Switch browsers. I find I can’t do some comment forms in Safari but if I switch to Firefox they work fine.

Has anyone found any other tricks that worked?

I WAY prefer the pop-up comment form, which seems to work better for most people. But! Blogger doesn’t let me see/block the IP addresses of commenters, and that’s been making me want to switch to another blogging platform. Luckily I am married to a computer guy, and he spent, like, two full free evenings writing me a program that I could use with the Blogger platform to see IP addresses—but, sadly, it only works with the embedded form.

The happy news is that it turns out that four of my most contemptuous and presumptuous commenters are THE SAME PERSON! Yes! So I’d thought my foes were legion, but it’s just one person and I’m pretty sure I could take her in a fight. (I bite!) Unfortunately Paul couldn’t figure out a way to BLOCK the IP address, so it’s possible I’ll switch to a new platform after all, but that may take me years to get around to doing and in the meantime it’s nice to know how far away the meanies live.

Tess of True(ish) Story recommended a book to me: Mistakes Were Made (But Not By ME): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts, by Carol Travis and Elliot Aronson. If you like books about why people act the way they do, you will eat this up.

I found it both stress-relieving and stress-inducing. On one hand, it explains in a way that makes perfect sense why someone will defend an illogical position and will continue to do so as if they can’t even hear the good arguments against it, and this may relieve some of your frustration and bewilderment. On the other hand, it points out that you do the same kind of thing.

On one hand, it explains why your friend talked about how awesome her marriage was until the day she changed her tune and talked only about how much it has always sucked and was never right. On the other hand, it points out that you do the same kind of thing.

On one hand, it explains why politicians will make COLOSSAL errors and NEVER admit it. On the other hand, it points out that you do the same kind of thing.

I appreciated the kind and understanding tone of the book. It’s not saying “You idiots!,” it’s saying that what people do is absolutely natural and understandable. It even defends people who seem to be lying, saying they’re NOT lying—they actually believe what they’re saying to be true.

The problem is that once you understand the authors’ idea, you will wonder how to make OTHER PEOPLE see the situation. And as the authors point out, there isn’t any way to do that. The best you can do is try to reduce your OWN tendencies to justify your wrong actions/arguments, and that is a little unsatisfying when you’ve just been led to see how wrong the actions/arguments of OTHERS are. Perhaps you could buy them all a copy of this book for Christmas.

OH CRAP. I mean, Hi! Guess what? When I was getting out the baby girl clothes for the giveaway I just chose winners for, I found the giveaway I meant to do for Valentine’s Day. I mean, it’s not too late, it’s more that having two giveaways back to back feels like it would be pretty boring, especially if you win neither one.

Well, poor planning, failure to anticipate, lost track of what month it was, etc., etc., let’s get on with it. It’s winter anyway and that’s a good time to get packages in the mail, and I continue to crave the mood boost of sending packages in the mail.

Last year I did a shopping post about my clearance Valentine’s Day haul, and I got some extras of that stuff thinking it would make a good Valentine’s Day giveaway for the next year. Which it sure would! Assuming you like pink and red clearance heart crap! Which I DO, very much!

I liked Valentine’s Day so much more when I was single, by the way. I liked to celebrate it in that pleasingly morose way where you buy a big heart-shaped box of chocolates and a large pepperoni pizza and you eat them all by yourself or with a friend while watching John Cusack and/or Hugh Grant movies. Awwww yeahhhhh.

Now I like it for the candy and cute decorative items I buy on clearance afterward.

Anyway! This box is a jumble of misc. Valentine’s Day stuff. There are some plastic plates as shown in that shopping post, and one of the bird coffee mugs so I really hope it doesn’t break. Heart/bird dishtowels and heart coasters. Heart/bird/owl/turtle paper napkins. Oven mitts in heart pattern and in pink/red stripe. Lovey-dovey googly-eye heart stickers. Oh, you don’t want to scroll alllll the way up and click allll the way through to that post? I understand. Here are some photos:

(That is the WHOLE HEAP of towels/mitts, which I’ve since reduced significantly for my own use and in other care packages.)

So anyway, that is the gist! Package of Valentine’s Day stuff! Mailed to you from me! I hope in time for any morose sitting-around you might have planned!

You have to have a U.S. (or APO/FPO) mailing address for me to use (one of these days we are going to have to have a contest where NO ONE with a U.S. address is eligible, just to fair things up a bit), but that’s it. Leave a comment saying whatever you want (Do you have Valentine’s Day plans? Which do you like better, the color pink or the color red?) and I’ll pick a winner on Tuesday the 9th so I can ship it Wednesday. Or perhaps it is not necessary to specify when I’m shipping it. Here, let me show you the hours my post office is open.