I had a whole list of things I jotted down to remember to write about, but looking over them now they seem to justify the theory that if I don’t remember it later, it probably wasn’t worth remembering. Still, here we are. I have no better ideas.
I attended a Facebook Live concert, an hour of piano by my cousin who is a music teacher and performer. This would not normally have been my thing, and in fact I’d never done anything with Facebook Live before, and it took me until almost the end of the concert to figure out how to make little thumbs-ups and hearts go floating up the screen in response to things she was playing/saying, but I DID figure it out. And the reason I jotted down the idea is because I wanted to recommend trying something like that, if you have the opportunity, because I was surprised to find it replenished my Social Buckets considerably even though I was not really interacting socially per se. But even just seeing my cousin on the screen, and seeing the little marker that indicated the hundred or so other people who were there watching with me, and seeing them leaving comments and hearts and thumbs-ups—well, I found it worth doing, is what I am saying, and also curiously touching, and perhaps you would find you had a similar reaction to such things, even if in pre-pandemic times you would not have been interested.
This next thing is about dreams; I will keep it brief. I’ve read that a lot of people are having particularly vivid dreams, and that it is in part from stress and in part from isolation. I keep having dreams that I’m adopting children, or considering adopting children, or assisting in the adoption of children. They are so far, luckily, always happy dreams, even though I am sure they stem from a news article I saw about countries very affected by the pandemic. One night I dreamed we were adopting a toddler and an infant, and I thought how nice it was that everyone in our family was home right now so we could get to know the new members together. Last night I dreamed I was holding a baby girl and trying to figure out how old she was based on how much talking she could do, so that I could add her approximate age to her adoption profile. I was holding her on my hip and carrying her around and pointing to things and asking what the things were, and she was pointing and saying “bahbah!” for bottle and so forth, and I was trying to remember what the corresponding age range was for that ability, but also I was thinking how nice it might be to keep her myself.
Also last night I dreamed a cute guy wanted me to marry him and move into his house, and he showed me his house which was exactly my style of house plus some bonus stuff I hadn’t thought to want until I saw it, and I very much liked both the guy and the house but decided it wasn’t worth the trouble to switch.
We are in an area where it is relatively easy and safe and in fact encouraged to go outside, and we are taking advantage of that and doing family walks. While acknowledging that this is something many people CAN’T do and are PINING to do, I will also say that I find walks very, very boring, and even more so now that we’ve gone all the directions many times in many ways. Upside: we sure know our new neighborhood well now! Downside: on one boring walk we impulsively diverted into a town cemetery, which anyone would have known was a dicey idea during a pandemic. There were all these families where someone age 2 died in December and then someone age 9 died that same month, and someone age 7 and someone age 4 died the following month—and then the same thing for another family a little further down. I wondered aloud what had happened, since all of these deaths seemed to have happened in the same winter, and speculated idly that perhaps it was some sort of virus. Then we walked straight home.
I attend a local facebook concert 3x/week. I never would have done it before but it is fun and a nice “outing”. It’s all piano music, by request – the guy can play ANYTHING. sometimes I just leave my phone on the table while I’m reading and enjoy it as background noise.
I am also having dreams about having young children in my house. I’m enjoying them.
The graves of the family would have me googling names, city, dates to see if I could find out information on them. So sad to lose so many so quickly! Any chance you could check it out and update?
I’ve seen a insta-live with a podcast I listen to as well as a FB live. I felt the same way. Socially involved and cheering.
Listen to podcasts on walks! It makes all the difference!
I had very vivid dreams last night (I won’t bore you), but mostly I’m here to commisserate about boring walks!! Our subdivision is TINY – one main street with only 4 cul-de-sacs, and we are definitely sick of it. On the other hand, I appreciate the commenter who suggested it helps you see nature changing every day. We snuck through a couple of side yards one day last month to walk to/in an adjacent neighborhood. It felt like we might get in trouble but it was worth it to see different houses and yards.
oops, this wasn’t meant as a reply to beth’s comment. just ended up there. :/
Okay, so I want more details on the “bonus stuff I hadn’t thought to want until I saw it” features of a house. Do you remember what the bonus stuff was? Do you still think it would be stuff you’d want in a house now that you’re awake? Do you have a list of what makes a house your style of house? I love house talk!
ME TOO! I am fascinated by all these things, although not necessarily specifically because “house talk” but more dream-vs.-waking-self and also how one figures out what one really likes/wants/etc.
(also, if you think of something entirely new in a dream and then wake up and still remember it, isn’t it absolutely weird/magical?)
One time in a dream I invented the “sibling bar” and was all excited about my idea when I woke up. Bars where people could go hang out and have a drink with their siblings! It was a rude shock when my husband reminded me that you can pretty much do that at any bar.
I’ve forgotten most of it, retaining only the feeling of marveling in each room—and the overall impression that it was “just like my old house” except beautiful, in excellent condition, much bigger (i.e., not really much like it). But ONE thing I remember was this giant second-floor screened veranda/porch, wide enough to have a bed at one end for sleeping outside in hot weather, without the bed being so close to the screens that it would get rained on—and with shutters to close to keep storms out. And this is the part that really got me, in the dream: built-in shelves/drawers next to the bed.
Ooo, a sleeping porch! I’ve heard of such things in warmer climes, particularly for vacation properties! Not very common up here in Canada, that’s for sure. The shelves and drawers next to the bed would be nice too. I grew up on a house where one entire wall of the living room was built-in shelves and I’ve missed that in every house since.
Whenever I build or remodel a house (so, not that often, but more than once) there are a few things I always include. For instance, all my showers are controlled separately from my tub spout, you can change both the water temperature and pressure of the shower independently, and the shower head is mounted on a vertical rail so it can be lowered for kids or when you don’t want to get your hair wet, or raised so a tall person can fit entirely under it.
The next house I build from scratch will have a light switch reachable from bed to turn off the overhead light.
Last night I dreamed about adopting a kitten. Maybe a better option than more than one child. :)
Old cemeteries, man. They sure put things into perspective, don’t they?
Also, I want more details about the bonus stuff, too! A conservatory? A solarium? A breakfast room? A butler’s pantry?
All fun ideas! My mom has a small solarium and she makes a lot of use of it since she’s an avid gardener. I’d prefer the big pantry myself, since I never seem to have enough storage space, even in my reasonably-sized kitchen.
My vivid dreams have ALL involved still being a family until with my ex, and that ship sailed two years ago. So. Not sure what that noise is about.
We recently went to a local cemetery for a family walk, because a colleague of my husband’s had recommended it as being far less crowded than our local nature preserves. It was STILL quite crowded, but aside from that, it was very peaceful and lovely. Definitely gave rise to many morbid conversations, though. Maybe it helps to have a young child? She is so matter-of-fact and curious and unbothered by death at this age.
I used to take my daughter to cemeteries on car trips when she was very small. (The cemeteries weren’t the destination; we’d stop there when she was tired of being in the car.) She could run around in beautifully manicured grass, there was very seldom anyone around, and I figured that all those buried there would welcome some cheerful baby laughs in lieu of the normal tears.
My dream house has nooks and crannies and a butler’s pantry and a set of secret backstairs. Okay, my dream house is my sister’s sister-in-law’s house.
My sister lives a quarter mile from an old cemetery that has lots of tiny grave stones that all show the same year.
I’d forgotten that my sister’s sister-in-law’s house also has a sleeping porch.
I have not done this, but I have heard about penny-flipping walks, where your route is randomized by flipping a coin at various “choice points” and maybe that would help? But also, quite possibly, it would not.
I do find that I really *like* repetitive routes, because nature changes literally every day [except in the winter in places that are just dead all winter; then there are not many changes] and you get to spot the new leaves on this and how that is larger than it was, etc. But I’m also someone who gets great joy out of houseplants, so you really can’t depend on me for this sort of thing…
Completely off topic, but didn’t know when/where to post so here it is. Rachel Syme, a staff writer at the New Yorker whom I follow, just recently did a mug, free for all/add your favorites to support businesses, roll call. I instantly thought of you. I felt like your love of a good cup would appreciate the thread. It was a nice Twitter moment. Not quite a Facebook live feeling, but still fun to contribute and feel for a time connected to like minded others. Also, so many beautiful suggestions.
Years ago I was taking some pictures in a small cemetery and came across an elaborate stone for 3 children. I think 2 were very young and died around the same time, and the third was a little older and died at a different time. One big stone for all 3, like at some point they had finally saved enough to mark all of them. It said “Plucked from earth to bloom in heaven.” Just found the photo – 11 yo and 3 month old died in 1870, 2 yo died in 1865. So sad.
I have found that geocaching turns walks into an “adventure” or a “treasure hunt.” No one wants to walk; everyone wants to find treasure. There are various free apps, so it is a easy thing to try out and see if it improves the walks.
We designed dream castles out loud today, too. My daughter’s dream house includes a stuffed animal that reaches the ceiling. Mine had a slide that went from my bedroom window to a heated pool.
My daughter had a 15 minute snack meeting with two of her school pals. It was so uplifting. There was a brief down point when it ended and we realized we won’t see them in person for a while, but overall it was so refreshing. I’ve had a few virtual happy hours. I’m digging it actually. No way I would go out in normal circumstances with colleagues or college pals with no make up, a pony tail, and fuzzy socks. Online, it is cool. Even expected. Plus the refreshments are cheaper and the conversation is just as good. Bonus, no one has to concern themselves with designated drivers.
I watched a Facebook live the other night on how to use an Instant Pot. I did not really learn anything since it was pretty basic, but I watched it in my bed with stern instruction not to be bothered and it was really quite nice. There were comments to make and read and things for sale. It was a local shop putting it on. I really enjoyed it.
Bonus house items: we were somewhat house hunting before all this, and one bonus feature one of the homes had was outdoor outlets on all the dormers. For Xmas lights/outdoor decorations! So convenient! I started a pro/con list after we looked at several homes (none of which was right) and definitely had a “bonus” column.
Yes! I built my first house with this feature! An outlet for lights at the top of the porch, and a switch inside to control it. Loved it!
OHH a switch is next level!! I don’t know if that house had that, but this is definite bonus column material!
I have dreams every so often where I am either late or sorely unprepared for a test. Sometimes I miss it completely, having realized at the last moment I needed to be somewhere. I’m sure they have something to do with my fear of failing my children in some way. Those seem unrelated but it’s all I can think of to explain their reoccurrence!
Love that you dreamt of a cute guy!
My dreams are either zombie apocalypse or I’m forced to be in a crowd where no one wears masks. I’d love it if a cute guy would make an appearance!
When I was a kid my mom would take us on walks in a beautiful cemetery and in the back were a bunch of small headstones for children from 1918-19. She explained the flu to us and it seemed like an old timey problem that would never effect us.
Pre-virus, I frequently had dreams about living in various post-apocalyptic situations. Not the apocalypse itself, but the aftermath. They were usually interesting and very active and crossed into nightmare territory less often than you’d think.
With the virus in the world, my subconscious has switched to serial killers, either being pursued by one or knowing that one is after specific people and being unable to influence events. I don’t like them at all.
Re: the walks, would your family be amenable to maybe doing Table Topics questions or something like them? I think with older kids/teenagers, you could get some interesting conversations, which could make the walks more fun… but they might also reject doing the questions at all.
Have to admit that if I could go for walks, I would only want to do them Without Family and would revel in the boredom. We’ve been in lockdown since March 13th and are too much in each other’s pockets at this point.