I think frequently of my sister-in-law saying that one of the upsides of a coffee habit is that it gives her something happy to look forward to every single morning. It is very common for me to wake up feeling a little grim—and then the sudden happy remembering: “Oh! Coffee!!”
Or in the afternoon, when things are feeling a little grim again and it is starting to sink in that I am going to have to make dinner again. When we would visit my grandparents, my mom would turn to my grandmother and say, “How about a fresh pot of coffee and a Little Something?,” and my grandmother would Fully Brighten and say “YES!” It’s a question I ask of myself now, when it is about 2:00 in the afternoon: “How about a [microwaved] cup of coffee and a Little Something?” YES. Yesterday I had a slice of banana nut bread with my coffee. Today it’s going to be toast with Nutella.
I have had two more Mother’s Day gift ideas (previous idea: custom care package). Both are more expensive than I would normally suggest, but I know a lot of us are accustomed to relying on quality time and meals out and acts of service as gifts for Mother’s Day, and now we are looking for material items that can be shipped, and I don’t know how that translates dollar-wise. Anyway, something that keeps catching MY eye (and I am a mom) is the tiny Keurig, which I thought of because I WOULD like a fresh-brewed cup of coffee in the afternoon but I’m not going to brew another pot [Edited to add: Ohhhhh nooooooo see Amy’s comment below, though, for a heads-up that this particular Keurig may have put all its eggs into the cuteness basket while neglecting to reserve any for the quality basket]:
(image from Target.com)
One of the things I didn’t like about my one-cup coffee maker when I had one is that I also have a regular coffee maker, and there was not room on the counter for both. This one takes up almost no room. If I could make up my mind between the blue and the pink I might have already put it on my wish list. (It also comes in grey and black; those tempt me ONLY because they have been cutely styled in the photos with a bright yellow mug.)
Another perhaps mommish thing I want is a set of Chrissy Teigen’s frying pans, and I want them about 50% because of the green color and about 50% because I follow her on Twitter and love her.
(image from Target.com)
I have had those on my wish list for ages and Paul keeps not buying them because he says it’s too boring of a gift idea, which is something we can discuss another time, but long story short I have these in the back of my mind as the thing I will buy for myself if my family skips Mother’s Day again this year.
I went to the grocery store yesterday and, because I have been so stressed at having to leave stuff behind when I run out of room in the cart, and also stressed that people will see me taking what I need for seven people and think I am taking too much, I tried the system of going in and getting all the stuff that would be perfectly fine sitting in the car for awhile (cat litter, cereal, canned stuff) plus half of the amount of some of the things I feel self-conscious about appearing to take too much of (meat, cheese, butter, eggs), and then going back for a second trip to get the more perishable stuff and the other half of the self-conscious stuff. This worked well (I easily filled two entire carts to what I’d consider comfortable-not-stressy levels) but wow, that is a long time to spend grocery shopping. Still, it was satisfying to get home with all the available stuff on the list, instead of coming home and immediately making a new list of all the things there weren’t room for, plus already being stressed again about running out of meat and cheese and butter and eggs.
My store had flour the last two times I went shopping before this one, but with restrictions: one bag per customer two trips ago, two bags per customer on my last trip. I was hoping that meant everyone had gotten well stocked up on flour and wouldn’t need to buy much more (especially since there’s been no yeast for weeks and weeks) and soon supplies would be back to normal—but this time the store had no flour at all. That kind of thing makes me fretful and a little panicky, especially with so long between shopping trips. But I did find a canister of Clorox wipes, which felt like some kind of miracle: the first time I walked down that aisle, that whole section was completely empty; the second time I walked down it, there were two containers of wipes just sitting there. An employee was stocking the aisle, and I looked to see if he had a whole bunch of the wipes, but no: he was working on unpacking air fresheners and furniture polish.
I will put this other whole fret in one big paragraph to make it easier to skip if you don’t like to read hand-wringing (though in that case what on earth would you be doing HERE). There is a guy near the entrance to that shopping plaza, and in Olden Times I liked to pull over and give him money if he was there and I was passing by, but I have been unsure how to do it safely during a pandemic. Here is what I did do: I took a plastic baggie and put in a disposable water bottle (for weight, but also for the water), a granola bar (because it seemed weird to do just water), and an envelope with the cash in it. Then, instead of leaning out my car window as usual, I parked the car nearby, walked over to the median where he stands, and put the bag down about ten feet away from him. I fretted ahead of time that ANY of the ways that didn’t involve just handing it out the window as usual (throwing it to/near him, putting it on the ground for him to have to pick up, etc.) were a bad look for one human being giving something to another human being. I also fretted that ANYTHING I did would give off “I think you are diseased!” vibes rather than the “I’m protecting us both as recommended!” I was going for. I had to give up both those frets because I couldn’t think of a good way that would avoid those issues entirely, and “just don’t give him the money, then” didn’t feel like a good solution. I also fretted that it would make him nervous to see someone approaching on foot, and I still fret about that. Paul dismissed that concern, saying that I don’t look dangerous to anyone, especially approaching with a clear plastic bag obviously containing food and water. Still, I suspect people who are panhandling get approached in a number of ways by people who don’t look dangerous per se but either ARE dangerous or else want to do other things the person doesn’t like (including things like giving advice or evangelizing, probably by people who look very much like me), so I didn’t like making him wonder. I also didn’t originally like Paul’s idea of using a extendable robot arm (like this) to extend the envelope out the window, but maybe that would be a better idea for next time, I don’t know.
How was the plastic bag reception? Did he think you were, in fact, an evangelist, and the envelope inside actually A Pamphlet?
We used our robot arm to deliver dinner to a friend who dined with us weekly in the Before Times, and it got a big laugh.
I think you got the stuff for the pan-handler just right. Also, it shows that you were thinking about him when he wasn’t right there in front of you. You PLANNED the stuff you were giving to him and how you were going to give it to him. That means a huge amount, and eases over any possible perceived awkwardness over the circumstances.
I have wondered but not worried that people might think I am hoarding because I am shopping for 8 – half of whom eat as much as grown ass men. I usually say to the checker with a little laugh that I am feeding a small army. No one has said anything to me. I think it would be incredibly rude for someone to call out another shopper for shopping. Two trips into the store sounds exhausting to me, if I understood that right. I do sometimes take two carts. Coach and I have been doing the groceries together a lot and then we each take a cart which also helps. Oh but it is such a pain to give him a list because I have certain brands and things that I buy and sometimes I need to see what is available. I usually give him a list with dairy items and hope he gets the yogurt right.
I think it is very good of you to think of the man in need, and I agree – I think you did a great job. The ‘diseased’ line made me chuckle.
I feel obligated to lunge in front of you and tell you DO NOT BUY THAT KEURIG. My household are Keurig devotees – we’ve owned half a dozen over the years, and that single cup one has made me want to weep with frustration. We bought it from Target, and it quit working. We reset it and it worked for a day, then quit working again. In calling Keurig, the lovely customer support person asked the model number and then immediately sent me a new one, which tells me that it’s not an uncommon problem. The new one worked for a few days and then had the same problem, so I got YET ANOTHER replacement and returned it to Target. Keurig’s quality on those single-cup models is abysmal. Please, save yourself the phone calls and don’t get it. (The only good thing is that the color really is as cute and charming as what you hope.)
I had the same experience. So sad because its sooo cute!!!
I do that style of shopping once every couple months, where I buy everything not cold in the first trip and everything cold in the second. I just really, really hate a full grocery cart. You have to put everything just so to not squash it and the baggers don’t pay that much attention to anything other than eggs and bread. Or I get everything bulky on the first trip like toilet paper and pop. I’m down to about 10 days of TP left at my house and I am still not seeing it for sale.
We’ve been told that the Secret Location of TP/paper towels in our area is at Staples or Office Depot type stores! Maybe by you too?
Do you have a plumbing supply store/company in your area that is open to the public?
I do and I was able to purchase a case (96 rolls!) of two-ply toilet paper for $100. I shared it between myself, my best friend and her family, and my parents. It seems excessive, but it you split it up then lots of people benefit.
They also had a lot of bleach and disinfectant for sale.
Also restaurant supply stores. Gordons Food Service in my area has 25lb bags of flour and large rolls of toilet paper still. And since they only come in huge sizes there is no guilt buying a lot at once.
I am preparing myself mentally for a Trip to the Big Grocery Store tomorrow. We have gotten by for a few weeks on our pantry and also our local mom & pop grocery that has curbside pickup. It’s been such a gift to be able to shop there, both for MY own comfort and for the fact that we are clearly helping to keep this small family-owned business in business. They used to be open — only 10 people at a time! — but the regulars kept coming in and loitering and stopping by every day for a newspaper, and finally the owners said ENOUGH, this is not safe for anybody and switched to curbside only. They do a terrific job, but you do have to let go of a lot of “this is not the brand I wanted” and “what a tiny jar of peanut butter; it won’t last very long.” I am PRIVILEGED that I have this option, and I don’t like to go to the supermarket because we are both 65 and my husband is in a high-risk group, so if I get sick, he gets sick and it will not be good. But we have made a careful list of the things we can’t get at Mom & Pop, and I have a Plan and it will be fine and I’ve already had to set expectations (you know, DH, it’s possible they will be ALL OUT of the lotion tissues, so don’t get your heart set). We are also looking very much forward to buying scallops directly from the fisherman/woman, which helps them and helps us (great price! fresh scallops!), and this is not something we would have thought to do in the before times. Also! for Easter we had the local candy store send a big box of assorted chocolates to our daughter in another state, and also threw in a box for US, and that turned out to be such a special treat. Just one piece a day, and we feel very indulgent.
FWIW, I don’t see you keeping your distance as being afraid of the panhandler’s potential germs so much as protecting HIM from YOUR potential germs. That is the mentality I am trying to take in all of this so I avoid coming out of it afraid of other humans for the rest of my life.
For people that live in locations where this is an option, I HIGHLY recommend Costco during these stressful times. In particular if you are shopping for a large number of people. Stock has been much better than our local grocery stores, and everything comes in bulk so there are no concerns or fears that you are taking more than your share. For example, milk is ONLY sold 2 gallons at time, and nobody would blink an eye if you purchased two (or more!) of those. They also have great quality meat, cheese and veggies – also sold in huge quantities. Even if a person lives an hour+ from the closest location and normally wouldn’t bother to join due to the distance, I’d recommend considering. By carefully planning Costco trips and then utilizing a bit of delivery we have only ventured out 3 times in the last 7 weeks, which is great since we have a immune-compromised individual in the house. (I would assume other big “club” stores could be similarly beneficial, but I only have experience with Costco.)
You beat me to this – I was going to say exactly the same thing! I’ve been doing a grocery shop once a week and cycling Costco in every three or so weeks to stock up on everything that I can get from there – provided one has the storage space available at home it is so convenient and they have had almost everything in stock here in the U.K. (apart from disposable gloves).
I know that it’s easy to say to not be worried about what people think, but the shuttling in and out of a supermarket so as not to be judged is the road to madness!!
Another recommendation for Costco, if you live near one. Because they sell large quantities, they have larger carts! The downside would be the hurdle of Trying Something New in these nervous times. Two tips: if you know someone who is a member, they can bring you in with them to check it out, though I believe you would not be allowed to buy anything. If you want a membership, there are two levels and they WILL try to upsell you to the more expensive one, which gives a rebate that is only worth it if you spend $200+/mo at Costco.
Additionally, the Costco by us has VERY strict limitations on # of people in the store, required mask wearing (even though this is not mandated in my state), etc!
Our Costco’s lines (outside, to get in) are SO long. Like, it takes an hour. But I live in a very densely populated area of SoCal. I assume it’s not like that everywhere? I just don’t know if it’s worth waiting an hour. Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods are doing the best jobs of keeping stock and handling crowds where I live.
It’s not like that here (suburbs in the Midwest). Sorry you have had to do that. I haven’t had to wait on either trip I’ve made. The checkout area was more people-dense than I would have liked, but not terrible.
My Costco sells single gallons of milk. You have to buy 2 at yours?
Swistle: I’m hear for the hand-wringing!
I buy the 10 pound tube of ground meat every time I can at Walmart. I’m mentally prepared to tell someone who inquires that it feeds a family of 5 multiple times a week (burger, spaghetti).
Also, the original single-cup Keurig (from probably 10 years ago) worked really well, but I have no idea if they still sell it. It did take up room on the counter though. I currently have mine at my work place; I wonder if it misses me.
We don’t have a Costco near us, but I can vouch that the situation is similar at our local Sam’s Club. They have free curbside pickup, and I can usually get a slot within a day or two. They also started requiring that all employees wear masks. I just order a bunch of stuff on the website, pay online, they email me when it’s ready, my wife goes in to get it and comes out in 5-10 minutes with a cart full of our stuff. They also have, hands down, the best produce in town.
The only downside is that they don’t substitute things, so if they don’t have exactly what you ordered, they don’t get you anything (and obviously don’t charge you). So if you want 1% milk and they are out of it but still have 2% milk, you will get no milk. Still, lately they have had much more in stock than our local supermarket. Yesterday I got everything I wanted except ground beef.
Swistle, forgive me for the totally obvious suggestion that I am sure you have considered, but have you looked into grocery pickup? Your two-cart solution sounds exhausting even in the best of times. It might be worth a longer drive in your (germ-free) car to find a place where you can just pull up and have an employee bring out a cart of your stuff and load it up. We have to reserve a slot about a week in advance right now, but we can add or delete items until midnight the night before so we don’t have to guess what we will need a week in the future.
In case that wasn’t clear, the employee loading and week-in-advance thing was for our local Kroger, not for Sam’s Club.
If you decide not to do the Keurig bc of possible issues above, I can recommend this one cup coffee maker. It’s not as cute but it’s very small and works well. You do have to clean it out, which you wouldn’t with a Keurig, but otherwise, no complaints.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00005MF9C/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_i_uHCQEbSK1XMAK
If I can recommend a Very Expensive Mothers’ Day or Something Else gift that is coffee-related: a Ninja brand coffee machine that makes multiple sizes. It looks like our particular machine has been updated, but it has gotten literal daily use for the last four years, and it still works beautifully! It can make a full carafe, half carafe, travel mug, or cup size. It’s all the machines in one and actually does it well!
You can choose classic, rich, or a super strong “over ice” brew. It also does speciality concentrated coffee that’s an espresso dupe.
Now, we are coffee snobs in some ways (grind our own whole beans in a burr grinder fresh every time, filtered water), and not in other ways (we got into pour over but meh, not worth it in the morning, fun for special occasions). We honestly haven’t used a lot of those features (I have never tried the concentrated brew, for example), but we love our coffee work horse!!
We do regularly brew multiple sizes. My husband wakes up and brews a travel mug size for himself, and when I drag my pregnant self from bed who can FINALLY enjoy coffee again with being sick, I make a small cup.
WithOUT being sick. Praise be to the bean inside who is letting me enjoy some life again.
I admire your creativity in finding a way to give something to the person in need; it is the kind of thing that I could take to Fret-Level One Million and just give up on as a result. I kind of love the robotic arm idea, too, just because the approaching on foot feels more fraught to me, but that is my issues and not in any way a commentary on what you did, which sounded perfectly appropriate.
I wish I liked tea or could drink coffee (even decaf) after about 11am without it torpedoing my sleep, because having coffee and a Little Something in the afternoon sounds quite perfect and uplifting. My dad can have an after-dinner espresso and be fine to go to bed a couple of hours later, but even a whiff of caffeine after the morning and I am a wreck all night. I wonder if there’s a way to train myself by gradual increased exposure, or if I just have to live this sad way forever.
Relatedly, I am sad to read the poor reviews of the single-cup Keurig because IT IS SO CUTE and seems such a Swistle thing to have, especially in the blue.
There was a bit a few years ago where I was told to avoid coffee, including decaf, to rule out silent reflux as the cause of a cough that went on for months (it wasn’t reflux, btw).
During that time, I drank Cafix. Which is NOT coffee. But! Add some cinnamon and vanilla and it makes something that’s reminiscent of coffee. Definitely not caffeinated. But it’s hot and it’s flavorful.
https://www.amazon.com/Cafix-Coffee-Substitute-Crystals-Ounces/dp/B0000CD06J/ref=sr_1_5?crid=4D2DBIPCC71B&dchild=1&keywords=caffix+coffee+substitute&qid=1588189224&sprefix=cafix%2Caps%2C135&sr=8-5
I’m not sure whether this is a thing in the US, but in Canada I can (and do) buy flavoured syrup from Starbucks to use at home. I usually have their Cinnamon Dolce syrup on hand, and I bet that it would go well in a beverage like this.
We got flour at Gordon Food Service, for those who have them in the area. We had to get a 25 lb bag, but it’s totally worth it.
We have a Hamilton Beach single cup coffee maker called “The Scoop” and we love it. No plastic Kcup waste! Works great!
Here’s a link (not affiliate): https://www.amazon.com/Hamilton-Beach-49981A-Coffee-Single/dp/B00EI7DPS0/ref=sr_1_1
It is so healthy for me to read your internal dithering because I do this ALL THE TIME. Sometimes with parental voices over my shoulder. Sometimes I just have to tell them TIMES HAVE CHANGED!
In any case, my ditherings now come with SWISTLE CAPS, which makes me laugh.
The robot arm made me snort laugh, except that it IS a rather good idea!
Love the cute little Keurig so very much, I almost wish I were a coffee drinker. (Yes, I know there are Keurig tea pods, but I find that I much prefer tea from tea bags.)
I thought of you today while grocery shopping. I was buying a week’s worth of groceries for my family of four. But also, the supplies for dinner plus snacks for four more families, 12 extra people. I’m part of a rotation that helps feed homeless families served by a local organization. Usually, we take dinner and everyone eats together. Right now they are in a motel and we drop off the food to be delivered to them.) I was sort of blown away by the amount of groceries I needed, and it took two baskets once they were bagged. The young bagger helped me out to my van and cheerfully asked “quarantine shopping or something else?” But otherwise, no one really seemed to notice.
Now that my husband is teaching from home we have time to have coffee and a Little Something together in the mornings. Today it was mini lemon muffins made from lemons from our tree. I had to use almond flour though because I haven’t been able to find regular flour where I live either. I might have to get some Nutella next time I get groceries. It’s nice to have a little pick me up to look forward to. It reminds me of that a song from the 90’s.
Coffee in the morning
And wine in the evening
And everything else is boring, boring
I think you managed to support the panhandler just right. My father used to have a funny turn of phrase sometimes and whenever he’d say “extend the hand of friendship” a robotic arm like that one would leap to my mind’s eye. That is the hand of friendship, afaic. Lollers. (Oh dear. Easily amused.)
From my days as a soup runner I know that anyone tapping attracts all sorts of people whose help comes with a hefty other agenda, which must get very tiresome for the panhandler. Just giving some support like you did can only help, surely.
That is exactly how I feel about coffee. I wake up and think about it excitedly.
Same here. Sometimes it’s literally the thing that gets me to swing my feet onto the floor.
Chiming in to say I start thinking about my morning coffee in the evenings, after dinner. Can’t tell if that is a sign of a bad addiction, or just a pleasant Morning Ritual that I love, but either way I’m not giving it up!
I was pleased to see yesterday that our grocery store lifted their 2-per-shopper restriction on eggs, which is awesome because we go through a lot of them. I am weary with how long it takes to get the shopping done these days; it took me two hours on Tuesday, buying two weeks’ worth for four people. I have a list (in order of the aisles!) but there are so many things they still don’t have, I have to think carefully about the best substitutions and how to adjust my meal plans for what’s there and what’s not . . . by the time I get it all home and put away, I’m worn out.
I want to say 2 things, both of which are meant to convey love and reassurance to you:
1. I would never see someone with a full cart in the grocery store and think “They are taking too much.” It wouldn’t occur to me. I would assume they had a large family, if i thought about it at all (which I likely wouldn’t). I’m not going to tell you what to feel or not feel, but I want you to know that it would never cross my mind, and I’m a people watcher and too-frequent judger.
2. You are amazing and huge-hearted to think of the street guy at all, let alone with such care and detail. The world needs more Swistles.
We have practically nothing in common beyond our gender and age range, but I love to read your blog and I want to tell you how grateful I am for your frequent posts during this time. I literally lol at “what are you doing HERE” in this post.
When I am shopping, I am so stressed about keeping away from others and just getting out of there as quickly as possible, I don’t have even one thought about the contents of others’ carts. I am so lucky that my fiancé hates shopping with me so much during this that he has relieved me of all responsibilities in supply purchasing!
You are so thoughtful, I am sure the man you gave the money too was even more grateful than usual as I would imagine fewer people are giving during these times.
Hope you have a lovely Mother’s Day, you certainly deserve the best.
Different panhandlers have different feelings about personal interactions, but I bet that a ziploc baggie with granola bar, water, and cash would be fairly universally pleasing. But you could also include a note, if you wanted to – not anything complex, just “wishing you the best during a hard time” or something – and that would even more definitely indicate “hi, I am seeing you as human” – at least, so I would expect?
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that Paul engaged you in a discussion about how to best proffer money to a panhandler during a global pandemic by suggesting a robot arm. Go, go, Gadget Arm! renamed to Go, go, Swistle stick. Hilarious. You are both very kind and humorous people.