Would you like to hear some advice? —This, by the way, is how my mom prefaces advice, and I recommend it for mothers of grown daughters. I always say yes, but it establishes that I have the OPTION to say no (note: this only works if the mother does not go right on with the advice even if the daughter says no) and that I also have the option to completely reject said advice and that she REALIZES all this, which puts down my natural daughterly defenses. Also, it allows me to make some pre-advice requirements, such as “Only if it’s NOT ____” or “Yes, but I want to warn you that I am feeling PRICKLY about this.”

Hm. In this format it works less well, because you can’t say yes or no and I know it, and because I’m going to tell you anyway, and also because you can’t make pre-advice requirements. …I’ll come in again.

Hey, I have some advice! Feel free to disregard it and/or modify it to your own requirements, of course! But here it is! Don’t feed a barfy child!

This is a lesson we learned with Child One, but we have had to relearn it occasionally. The child seems so ILL, and he/she has been throwing up all his/her nourishment so it seems like he she MUST EAT or surely he/she will be in MORTAL DANGER! But no. Our children have occasionally declined food for DAYS and never even look thinner.

Of course I don’t mean DEPRIVE the child of food if the child WANTS food. But our error is always trying to tempt or even COERCE the non-hungry, non-food-wanting child into eating because we feel in our panicky parental way that it is necessary to sustain life. This just makes more work and suffering (i.e., barfing) for everyone.

The very minute the first barfing occurs, we stop all dairy, meat, citrus, and fibrous produce. No pudding, no yogurt, no milk, no cheese, no chicken, no oranges, no orange juice, no grape/apple/etc. skins, no pineapple or whatevs. All those things make barf WAY worse than it has to be. We feed from this list:

• apple juice
• water
• applesauce
• bananas
• saltines
• graham crackers
• rice cereal for babies, Rice Chex for older kids
• toast with the tiniest bit of butter and/or jam and/or peanut butter

A child who has thrown up has to wait ten minutes to have anything to drink, and then they get water or apple juice in small amounts with breaks in between to be gentle to the recovering tummy. After thirty minutes they may try something small to eat (one saltine, for example), and then they have to wait twenty minutes before they can have anything else—again, to be respectful to the sensitive tummy. After 24 hours of no throwing up, they can go back to regular foods.

Obviously this is not a good and balanced diet for long-term use: we use it only for the kind of barfing that lasts 1-3 days, gradually improves rather than worsens, and doesn’t give us any reason to call in a doctor. And NONE of this is for babies who are still breastfeeding or bottlefeeding—this is all for older children. And OBVIOUSLY I am not any kind of medical professional (I have to think first in order to correctly use a toy stethoscope). But this is the Barf Plan we implement at our house, and it has greatly reduced the Barf Distress around here.

The winner of the box of misc. Valentine’s stuff is The Princess of Quite a Lot! Email me, sweet girl, and I will get this stuff on its way to you. Swistle! at! gmaildotcom!

Elizabeth’s hair is driving me batty. It is SO flyaway, and then she leaps around and rubs her head on the couch so she gets this NEST OF IMPOSSIBLE on her head. I try putting it in barrettes or ponytails, but her hair is so fine even the extra-grippy-for-fine-hair barrettes come right out—or worse, half out, so her hair is flyaway AND has things caught in it. I’ve tried detangling sprays and anti-frizz conditioners, but either they don’t work or they make her hair feel like there’s chalk dust in it.

Henry threw up last night. And before that, he and I and Elizabeth and Edward all shared a straw at Burger King. So. But what I’m HOPING, since there have been no further Incidents since last night, is that like Elizabeth he barfs when he has a fever (he had a fever last night) and it doesn’t necessarily mean anything about a stomach virus.

Today I am in the mood for TREATS. I am having hazelnut-creamered coffee and Nutella’d bread right now, and I’m thinking of pizza for lunch. Then perhaps I’ll bake cookies. YES I am on the reminder week of the Pill, WHY DO YOU ASK.

I bought the most. beautiful. dishes at Target. So, so beautiful. Here are my breakfast dishes, before I added the Nutella bread:

Furthermore, they were 75% off. I liked them at full price, when they were $60 for 4 place settings. I wavered at half-price, and even went back a second time to waver some more. But when they were $14.98 they went home with me. I lovvvvvvvvvve them.

Ack, the comment form. Several of you have emailed me about the embedded comment form not working for you, and don’t worry, you’re definitely not the only one. I’m not very computery, but I have two suggestions that have solved the problem for some people:

1. Make sure you’re waiting for the word verification. The word verification isn’t visible as you’re commenting, but after you click to leave the comment the page reloads and then the word verification is there. So if your computer is slow or if the internet is being wonky, you could click out of the page without realizing you hadn’t filled out the word verification yet, and the comment would seem to have been eaten.

2. Switch browsers. I find I can’t do some comment forms in Safari but if I switch to Firefox they work fine.

Has anyone found any other tricks that worked?

I WAY prefer the pop-up comment form, which seems to work better for most people. But! Blogger doesn’t let me see/block the IP addresses of commenters, and that’s been making me want to switch to another blogging platform. Luckily I am married to a computer guy, and he spent, like, two full free evenings writing me a program that I could use with the Blogger platform to see IP addresses—but, sadly, it only works with the embedded form.

The happy news is that it turns out that four of my most contemptuous and presumptuous commenters are THE SAME PERSON! Yes! So I’d thought my foes were legion, but it’s just one person and I’m pretty sure I could take her in a fight. (I bite!) Unfortunately Paul couldn’t figure out a way to BLOCK the IP address, so it’s possible I’ll switch to a new platform after all, but that may take me years to get around to doing and in the meantime it’s nice to know how far away the meanies live.

Tess of True(ish) Story recommended a book to me: Mistakes Were Made (But Not By ME): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts, by Carol Travis and Elliot Aronson. If you like books about why people act the way they do, you will eat this up.

I found it both stress-relieving and stress-inducing. On one hand, it explains in a way that makes perfect sense why someone will defend an illogical position and will continue to do so as if they can’t even hear the good arguments against it, and this may relieve some of your frustration and bewilderment. On the other hand, it points out that you do the same kind of thing.

On one hand, it explains why your friend talked about how awesome her marriage was until the day she changed her tune and talked only about how much it has always sucked and was never right. On the other hand, it points out that you do the same kind of thing.

On one hand, it explains why politicians will make COLOSSAL errors and NEVER admit it. On the other hand, it points out that you do the same kind of thing.

I appreciated the kind and understanding tone of the book. It’s not saying “You idiots!,” it’s saying that what people do is absolutely natural and understandable. It even defends people who seem to be lying, saying they’re NOT lying—they actually believe what they’re saying to be true.

The problem is that once you understand the authors’ idea, you will wonder how to make OTHER PEOPLE see the situation. And as the authors point out, there isn’t any way to do that. The best you can do is try to reduce your OWN tendencies to justify your wrong actions/arguments, and that is a little unsatisfying when you’ve just been led to see how wrong the actions/arguments of OTHERS are. Perhaps you could buy them all a copy of this book for Christmas.

OH CRAP. I mean, Hi! Guess what? When I was getting out the baby girl clothes for the giveaway I just chose winners for, I found the giveaway I meant to do for Valentine’s Day. I mean, it’s not too late, it’s more that having two giveaways back to back feels like it would be pretty boring, especially if you win neither one.

Well, poor planning, failure to anticipate, lost track of what month it was, etc., etc., let’s get on with it. It’s winter anyway and that’s a good time to get packages in the mail, and I continue to crave the mood boost of sending packages in the mail.

Last year I did a shopping post about my clearance Valentine’s Day haul, and I got some extras of that stuff thinking it would make a good Valentine’s Day giveaway for the next year. Which it sure would! Assuming you like pink and red clearance heart crap! Which I DO, very much!

I liked Valentine’s Day so much more when I was single, by the way. I liked to celebrate it in that pleasingly morose way where you buy a big heart-shaped box of chocolates and a large pepperoni pizza and you eat them all by yourself or with a friend while watching John Cusack and/or Hugh Grant movies. Awwww yeahhhhh.

Now I like it for the candy and cute decorative items I buy on clearance afterward.

Anyway! This box is a jumble of misc. Valentine’s Day stuff. There are some plastic plates as shown in that shopping post, and one of the bird coffee mugs so I really hope it doesn’t break. Heart/bird dishtowels and heart coasters. Heart/bird/owl/turtle paper napkins. Oven mitts in heart pattern and in pink/red stripe. Lovey-dovey googly-eye heart stickers. Oh, you don’t want to scroll alllll the way up and click allll the way through to that post? I understand. Here are some photos:

(That is the WHOLE HEAP of towels/mitts, which I’ve since reduced significantly for my own use and in other care packages.)

So anyway, that is the gist! Package of Valentine’s Day stuff! Mailed to you from me! I hope in time for any morose sitting-around you might have planned!

You have to have a U.S. (or APO/FPO) mailing address for me to use (one of these days we are going to have to have a contest where NO ONE with a U.S. address is eligible, just to fair things up a bit), but that’s it. Leave a comment saying whatever you want (Do you have Valentine’s Day plans? Which do you like better, the color pink or the color red?) and I’ll pick a winner on Tuesday the 9th so I can ship it Wednesday. Or perhaps it is not necessary to specify when I’m shipping it. Here, let me show you the hours my post office is open.

It’s Friday, and time to choose the winners of the “We Love The Children’s Place but Their Policies are Getting Kind of Lame” Giveaway!

Winner One: Elizabeth of Princess Nebraska!

Winner Two: Manda of Feed Your Inner Fat Kid!

Both mentioned Set A, so I flipped a coin and it was tails and Elizabeth was tails.

Dudes, email me! (Swistle! at! gmail! dotcom!) I will get some cute baby girl clothes on their way to you!

I was at The Children’s Place on Saturday, because I had two $10-off certificates that expired that day and I was NOT about to waste those suckers. I was looking forward to it, because I knew there was a lot of stuff on sale, but then I got into a Loop of Despair: as I browsed the clearance stuff (which there was a TON of: my store usually sends their clearance stuff to an outlet store but this time they kept it in-store), I kept thinking, “Oh this is good!—but we really don’t need another one, and in fact I should go through and donate some so the drawer will close.”

Finally (and the word “finally” does not adequately convey how many laps I made around the store) I decided to buy the couple of clearance scraps I wanted plus two pairs of yoga pants for Elizabeth. The pants were 2/$18, which I consider wayyyyyy overpriced for thin sweatpants that routinely go on clearance for $2.99 (or, like, $1.24 at Target), but she COULD use them and I had to talk myself around to the idea that it was a matter of using up the free money and not having a cow about it.

I went to the register, and it turns out there is a new policy about those certificates: one per customer per visit (the certificates are purchase rewards, so this is irritating). The clerk, fortunately, was willing to buck this rule by ringing me up in two separate purchases so I could use both—but there was no way to divide my stuff to do that. I had the 2/$18 yoga pants which were $12 each if bought separately, and I had two $2.99 items. I could have done a pair of yoga pants separately and paid $2 for it, and then paid $8 for the other pair and the two clearance items, but I objected to spending $6 more for yoga pants I WAS BUYING two of, just because of the new coupon rule.

So I retreated to rethink. I made another lap around the store. And that is when I realized I was not able to spend the certificates on my own family in a way that would please me. I could buy things we didn’t need. OR I could buy things that would make me mad about the “2-for” pricing and the “1 coupon” rule. But there was NO solution that would result in me coming home with things I needed AND a happy attitude.

So instead I bought things for YOU. I looked around, decided what would be most fun for me to buy (baby girl clothes, duh), and spent those two certificates right up. Things were on such good clearances ($.99-$2.99) I was able to get two nice little sets. And so now we are going to have a giveaway, which is good because I am still feeling wan and blue, and I find giveaways cheering.

Set A:
0-3 months flowered corduroy jumper with matching diaper cover
0-3 months pink bodysuit, crammed artlessly into jumper
0-6 months pink tights
0-3 months embroidered jeans
0-6 months two-pack of pink booties (one stripe, one solid)

Set B:
0-3 months embroidered denim jumper with matching diaper cover
0-3 months pink bodysuit, crammed artlessly into jumper
0-6 months pink tights
3-6 months pink velour pants with cat face on rear
6-12 months pink velour hat with ears
0-6 months two-pack of pink booties (one stripe, one solid)

You are eligible to enter if you have a U.S. mailing address (your own or the address of the person you want me to send the stuff to) AND one of the following applies:

1. You are pregnant with a baby girl right now.

2. You had a baby girl about 5 minutes ago (most of the stuff is 0-3 months and that gets outgrown fast).

3. A close friend or family member is pregnant with a baby girl or had a baby girl about 5 minutes ago.

There are two packages so there will be two winners. I can ship the prize to you or I can ship it to someone you tell me to ship it to.

To enter, leave a comment telling me who would get the prize if your comment won. If you have a preference for one set over the other set, mention that too—you might still win the non-preferred set, but if I draw two names and there are preferences I can meet, that makes it even more fun (if both want the same set, I’ll flip a coin). If you’re not entering but just want to squeee over the baby clothes or vent about annoying “2-for” and “1 coupon” rules, feel free.

I’ll choose the winners on Friday the 5th.

As of today, there is a dishwasher in my kitchen. My dad installed it this morning. I have put three (3) spoons in it already, but then I accidentally washed my salad bowl in the sink. Well, not accidentally per se, but it seemed like when it just had a few smudges of salad dressing in it and all I’d need to do is give it a quick swish in the sink it would be silly to waste all that space. All that space in my 3-spoons-containing dishwasher.

So this means that soon Paul and I will find out if we have any of those Couple Disagreements about how the dishwasher should be loaded! Or if either of us is a “pretend not to notice it needs unloading” person! Or if either of us is a “can’t tell if dishwasher is clean or dirty” person! Considering it took us a decade to work out a good sink-washing system and we STILL sometimes have trouble with it, I am GIDDY with anticipation!

We have a drafty window right over our bed, and my project each winter is stopping the freezing breezes from drifting down the wall onto our heads. One year I tried moving the bed, but that didn’t work because the room is too small for the bed to make sense anywhere but where it is. One year I tried one of those long sand bag things. One year I tried towels stuffed inside and outside the window.

This year I tried insulating curtains. The first set cost $40 for two panels and were a total failure: they in fact CHANNELED the cold air so that it hit our heads with less diffusion. I returned them.

Yesterday I considered some curtains that cost $70 for two panels and looked like quilts. Then I thought maybe I should just get a quilt if I could find one on clearance, and it is the right time of year for that. We don’t use that window for light (the shade usually stays down all day) so I don’t need panels that can be opened and closed. Several aisles over, a nice brown one with the stitching done in circles, from Target’s Vintage Modern Thomas O’Brien line, 75% off so it was $25.

It’s king-sized, so I folded it in half (by folding both edges to the center line—that makes both edges nice and pretty), and then put it over the curtain rod like hanging a towel on a towel bar. I tugged on the front part until the back part exactly fit into the window area. So now the window has two layers of quilt (like the part of the towel that would be against the wall) pressed right up against it, and then there are two more layers of quilt (like the front part of the towel) resting against that to hold it in place.

We tested it last night and it’s great. Plus, it’s easy to take down in the spring when we want to be able to open the window. Plus, it’s still a king-sized quilt, so when we eventually replace that window with something less drafty, we can use the quilt on our bed.

(It looks like light is pouring in under the window, but that’s light shining in from a window on an adjacent wall.)