I am trying not to pick at my lips, and perhaps you have heard of Hercules and his tasks. I remember saying to my dad in high school that I thought I could stop if I KNEW it was harmful. And he, trying to help me, said “Actually, I think that when skin has to rapidly and repeatedly regrow like that, it can lead to an increased chance of cancer.” And I considered that, and believed it, and it was not enough. Anyway, with the pandemic and the systemic racial injustice and the seasonal allergies, my lips are a mess and I am trying to at least give them a couple days’ healing. But I was proof-reading this paragraph and noticed I was lightly picking WHILE PROOF-READING.
Shawna asked about Father’s Day gift ideas. I had a good and fun and easily-shippable idea this year for my own dad—but my own dad reads this blog. You can email me if you want, if you are not my dad, and I’ll tell you the idea: swistle at gmail dot com. (And I’ll try to remember to update this post with the idea after Father’s Day, so it’ll be here for future years.)
[Edit as promised!: A dear friend recently sent me a pair of Kringle pastries from this company: O&H Danish Bakery They came shipped 2-day with cold packs, and they were so delicious and charming and surprising, and so fun to try, so I filed away the idea for future gifts. My dad likes treats, and likes danish, and likes trying new treats, and so for Father’s Day I sent him two Kringles, one pecan and one apple. You can pick your delivery date, so I made sure to order them early before the Father’s Day shipping dates filled up.]
Another idea I considered for my dad was to make a shipped-directly care package like the one I mentioned as a Mother’s Day or birthday gift idea. Specific contents would vary by the specific dad, but something like:
• Sweet! Snack cakes, candy, whatever your particular dad likes. The weather is getting warm, so that may affect what kinds of candy you choose.
• Salty! Fun flavor of chips to try, odd little cheese things, popcorn.
• Hearty! Pricier nut mix, dried meat, granola bars, trail mix.
• The men in my life do not seem as keen to Try Fun Bath Products as the women in my life, but I don’t think that should stop us from indulging them. Harry’s is a brand I like: a little more expensive than the baseline, but not enough to overly shock one’s dad’s sense of propriety if he were to see it in the store. Duke Cannon is a fun brand with fun product names: News Anchor Hair Wash, Big Ass Brick of Soap, etc. And I know Paul likes the manliness of Working Hands.
• I am still sending hand soap with just about anything. For my dad I would get a scentless one, but foaming because I would suspect he would not normally choose foaming so it might be a new mildly fun/interesting thing.
• Now that they’re carrying face masks, I’d probably routinely add a couple of those as well.
• Definitely anything you’ve heard your dad say he is having trouble finding at the store.
• My dad likes to get t-shirts, so it’s fun to find new ones.
Or I think in general this would be a good opportunity to support any business you know of that’s trying to keep afloat and can ship things. Book stores, candy shops, coffee shops, any little specialty shop.
Realizing I still had to handle Father’s Day for Paul even when there was a pandemic made me feel like I do every time I get my period during the pandemic: SERIOUSLY??? EVEN NOW??? But at least we have already had Mother’s Day during a pandemic, which gives me a template for how to proceed. I’ve consulted to find out what he’d like for dinner etc. (groceries need good lead time these days) and if there’s anything particular he’d like to watch on TV. I will coach the children to consider what Acts of Service they might like to perform. I will probably take a bucket of soapy water and do some cleaning on the inside of his car, which is surprisingly dusty and grubby-looking. If he doesn’t mention a specific thing he wants me to bake, I will pick something from among the things I know he likes.
I also bought him a couple bags of sour candy: it’s not something I usually think to buy, but I know he likes it. I got Sour Patch Big Kids because I don’t think he’s ever tried those and it seemed mildly fun to try something slightly different; and Sour Skittles because surely he’s had them before? and yet I couldn’t remember ever having them around, so maybe not! And right now, grocery shopping is so fraught and sometimes I can’t justify space in the cart for treats, so treats feel extra special.
If Paul did not already have more t-shirts than he can cram into a drawer (going through those is one of the Pandemic Projects we haven’t been doing), this would have been a really good year for a charity/resistance shirt. I have this NPR one myself, and it’s really soft and nice:
(image from shop.npr.org)
The fit is unisex (i.e., men’s; i.e., why do we put up with this?), so I use mine as a nightshirt.
(image from store.blacklivesmatter.com)
(image from store.blacklivesmatter.com)
(image from store.joebiden.com)
(image from shop.elizabethwarren.com)
(image from shop.aclu.org)
I hope you will share your gift ideas (for your dad or for your husband or for other dads and dad-role-fillers in your life), to help everyone who hasn’t yet decided.
I got both my dad and my husband gardening tools from a local blacksmith, which was fun. They look exactly like the kind of thing someone would commit murder with on Midsomer Murders.
My dad is getting a Tshirt from my local minor league baseball team, the flying squirrels. I think he’ll think it’s funny, and they didn’t get a season this year and have been selling swag and ball park meals to keep things going.
That’s a fun team mascot!
Mother’s Day was largely unrecognized this year, though to blame the pandemic would be unfair to the pandemic. Therefore, so too shall Father’s Day.
We’re getting my stepdad a cordless handheld blower (TWSS) along with some beer. I have NO idea what to get my dad. He’s always much more challenging.
I did Storyworth for Mother’s Day and I think it would also be a nice Father’s Day gift, but my dad is getting a funny t-shirt for Father’s Day and my husband is getting a set of bourbon mixers from proofsyrup.com.
My kids and I are planning on making one of these, maybe for Father’s Day and maybe for my husband’s birthday, which is coming up:
https://www.treehugger.com/clean-technology/build-ultra-efficient-diy-wood-gasifier-backpacking.html
It’s highly specific to his interests and looks within my skill set to make without too much effort—plus we have all of the materials already, so I hopefully won’t have to leave the house. E
I love this post and the comments above mine! My parents are in an independent living place that has been on lockdown. My dad is a big reader and history buff, and a perfect solution was marketed to me in twitter: letterjoy (https://www.letterjoy.co/gift-plans?src=top)! My 2 siblings and I went in on a 6-month subscription of weekly historic letters mailed to him starting in July.
For my husband, I coached the kids to notice a quasi hint he had been giving — a fun Hawaiian shirt. We live in Maryland, so the kids suggested an Old Bay theme, which is available through a local company: https://www.routeoneapparel.com/products/old-bay-seafood-pattern-hawaiian-shirt . We threw in a Maryland flag mask and an Old Bay mask.
Yesssssss to the Warren shirt!
Just an FYI that I ordered from the Warren shop in March and it hasn’t shipped yet. So by all means, do so. But don’t be in a hurry!
I’m fond of penzys spices to liven up the BBQ meats and also special wood chips for the smoker.
YES, good thought—probably a lot of these shirts would have to be written on a piece of paper, put in an envelope for the day, and delivered later.
The Warren shirt I ordered in March was delivered this week so I hope yours comes soon!
My husband declared at Mother’s Day that the 12 year old was now responsible for this holiday as he’s old enough, so like Shauna up there, I’m off the hook!
This is very location specific, but I am attaching just in case there are Milwaukee fans here.
I got my dad a Brewers 50th anniversary book and a Brewers social distance shirt.
https://brewers.auctions.mlb.com/iSynApp/productDisplay.action?sid=1102445&productId=1645827
https://www.boswellbooks.com/book/9781629377636
Oh man, this is perfect for my dad – he’s an expat Brewer’s fan, stuck in California with our inferior baseball. Thank you!
My dad does not wear tshirts. And he’s always trying to limit his intake of sugar. In fact, I’ve suspected in the past that he asks me for things based on how impossible they seem like they’d be to find. Exhibit A: the year he asked for a CD of acapella Voyageur canoe-paddling songs. So far the only things I haven’t been able to get that he’s requested are pants with a very specific arrangement of pockets (large ones on the sides of his lower legs) because I feel he’d need to try things like that on for fit.
I do wonder if Story Worthy – that service that gives writing prompts for a year and then turns it into a book at the end – would be good. He’s a good writer and I suspect this would appeal to the same side of him that loves pictures of himself. Plus he’s got time during the pandemic since he’s pretty much just staying home and not going out more than necessary. But it might be kind of pricey for Father’s Day? In our family we’re more about small gifts for Father’s/Mother’s Days (my siblings don’t really have a lot of money and I don’t want to get something totally out of proportion with what they get him) and bigger stuff for birthdays, but his birthday isn’t until October.
Well dang, my stepmother just quashed the Storyworth idea. Says my dad doesn’t have time.
Update: she’s now suggested a lightweight, washable picnic blanket that he can use to eat outside on when he’s on excursions. Easy enough to order with shipping directly to his house from Amazon (since their household is isolating and we can’t visit), and not too expensive!
As a fellow picker, please let me tell you what has helped me. I bit/picked my cuticles for DECADES until this past winter, when I got fed up with myself and I started applying liquid bandage to the damaged areas. Now, obviously, you can’t put this on your lips. But what was helpful about the liquid bandage was that when I saw it, I thought, “oh, I don’t want to pick that, it’s helping. I am doing something about this. It will get better.” Having something to trigger that little internal pep talk was so helpful. Another helpful thing is to REPLACE the undesired habit with something: it’s easier than stopping outright. Sometimes I wear a ring that’s run to fiddle with, and remind myself to fiddle with that instead of my cuticles (I have had a bit of a relapse recently. Thanks, WORLD). I don’t know how to translate these ideas to your habit, but I hope it helps you think of something.
I am getting my dad this car vacuum: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B06ZY896ZM?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title.
I bought it a couple weeks ago, to clean out my car that I left a pit back in March. The vacuum is good! The suction is nothing like the one at the gas station, but my car ends up cleaner than it does when I go there. I can take my time vacuuming and not worry about weird people looking at my butt when I bend over at the public vacuum.
For my husband, I’m going to clean out his car with said vacuum. Boom. Done.
I gave myself some lead time in case it didn’t arrive in time – but my gift arrived today! Unfortunately my husband grabbed the package on his way in today (it was on our doorstep) and now he’s curious about what I got. I’m doing this for our kids who are still little. Anyways, hubby is Irish but we live in Canada so I ordered him his favourite type of tea, chips, and candy from home :)
I recently read the book Accidental Presidents – it is about all the Vice Presidents that became President due to death. It’s very interesting and would be a good book for an dads who like history.
What happens if you wear lipstick or sticky lipgloss?
At first it discourages picking because I don’t want to mess up the pretty color, but then it seems like as the lipstick/gloss wears off it can make my lips more peely.
Yes! I have the same bad habit and found the same issue with this potential solution!
I got my husband a can cooler with a picture of our kids on it. From Shutterfly, so I had to time it just right avoid paying more in shipping than for the actual item. I think he’ll like it, we don’t do a lot for gifts usually but I’m the keeper of the photos so it’s nice for him to get something with photos on it.
For Mother’s day he got me a mug, and also AN extremely thoughtful gift. I had some stretchy silicone lids, you know the kind? One of them solved a particular issue I had and I needed another of that size, but they were an Aldi special item and they didn’t have them anymore. The man went on eBay and found a set of the lids for me. Seemingly ridiculous, but really pretty great.
“Unisex” t-shirts, now that is a sore point with me – I have been known to rant at length. What a metaphor. (BEES).
If you find a solution for the lip-picking, please share it with me. I have had a patch on my lip since self-isolation started that I CANNOT get rid of.
For Father’s Day, I got my dad some BBQ ribs from Pig of the Month. I taste tested the ribs a few weeks ago, just to make sure they weren’t poisonous; am a Very Devoted Daughter. They were delicious and I think he’s going to love them.
My husband mentioned in passing awhile ago that he used to eat these little candies as a kid that he’s never been able to find again — he described them as M&M’s, but instead of a candy coating, the chocolate was enrobed in black licorice. That sounds horrific to me, but I have been scouring the internet to find them. The closest I found was some chocolate covered licorice from nuts dot com, so he is getting that for Father’s Day. I hope it’s a winning flavor combination, at least.
Oh – my daughter also “bought” him a set of matching socks (kids socks that match the grownup socks) from Sock Fancy.
One product I like is- stay with me now- Bag Balm. I find it at CVS and Walmart with lotions. It’s in a package-of-kraft-singles-sized green square tin container, and its original intended purpose is… cow udders. Um but mostly it is lanolin, and it is so so so much better for my dry lips than any chap stick or carmex or blistex or anything else I’ve ever tried. I also apply it to my cracked heels all summer, and we use it for patches of dry skin or small cuts. Smells rather like a band aid though. I transfer a smaller amount into a little plastic screw-top container to keep in my purse because the original container is too large to tote. Also it liquifies in the heat.
I USE THAT TOO. I don’t like the taste/smell much, but it’s worth it. I especially like to put it on before I go to sleep. I love the description “package-of-kraft-singles-sized.”
Omg same! Have a tin by the bed. I just love when someone else does/likes/thinks the same unusual thing I do
My husband and I just got a cute new grill as a combined Mother’s/Father’s Day gift (he did not get me anything for MD, and I suggested we buy this grill at the beginning of June as a joint gift to cover both days). He’s so obsessed with grilling now, so I bought him a few BBQ spice/rub packets from The Spice House (online). And I did the same for my soon-to-be son in law, who is equally obsessed with grilling. :)
A gift that means one’s husband does more of the cooking?!? Genius!!!
My kids are 7 and 9 and crazy for whittling… So we got a book of whittling projects his own opinal knife and a bag of soft wood, so they can enjoy that together and no longer have to share their knives. And a bar of locally made chocolate, this particular one is gargantuan, and has a massive chunky brownie in the middle. Truly decadent. It’s just been his birthday so we used some ideas for then, Lego iss, fancy pizza stone, and some happy socks. They would have been good father’s Day gift ideas perhaps?