The term “middle-aged” is a little awkward, because it’s a tactful euphemism for an older group than it seems to describe. If the typical U.S. human life is, say, 78 years long, then age 39 should be solidly middle-aged—but that’s not what we mean by the term. We actually mean something more like “well past the middle, but the term elderly isn’t right yet.”
I think of middle-aged people as being in their 50s or 60s or so—but it’s a stage of life more than an exact age. It’s a stage with no young kids in the house anymore (unless it’s grandkids), but no need yet for walkers, or for those chairs that help a person stand up. When a middle-aged person gets sick, we don’t think, “Uh oh, hope it doesn’t go to the lungs.” We don’t worry much yet about broken hips, but there are plenty of lost bifocals. No one is talking about whether it’s time to take away a driver’s license or “think about a home,” but there is talk about retirement. There are of course myriad exceptions (a guy in his twenties might have bifocals or have bad lungs or need to use a walker; a guy in his 60s could have little kids with his young wife), but middle-aged is a general term, so I’m speaking of the group it describes in a general way too.
I have a new proposal for terms. I was thinking about how middle-aged doesn’t describe the middle stage of life: it’s more like the third out of four (childhood, adult, middle-aged, elderly). Then I noticed another euphemism for age, which is the “senior” in “senior discount” and “senior citizen” and “seniors residence.” And the combination of “four stages” plus “senior” made me think of how we mark high school and college grades: freshman, sophomore, junior, senior.
We’re currently using senior discount to include people over 65 or even 60 or 55, so we’d have to change that. “Senior” would now be used the way we use “elderly”: deep wrinkles, white hair, fear of broken hips, nursing homes, walkers. Then we could use “junior” to cover the category we now call “middle-aged”: bifocals, falling necks, kids are grown, menopause, needlework about having the fun grandchildren first. Early/mid-twenties (depending on personal maturity rates) up to middle-aged would be called sophomores. And children up to their early/mid twenties would be freshmen.
If we’re going to use euphemisms, it’s nice to have them TIDY. And I also like the way this system automatically implies a gaining of knowledge and experience, rather than an increasing fumbling with new technology and change purses.
There’s a new term in the world of fiction- New Adult. It fits the space between teenager and adults with more adult-like responsibilities like kids and a mortgage.
This is BRILLIANT. (And I believe I’ve used that exact phrase about others of your posts, but it’s no less true.) I’m certainly upper middle-aged but I don’t feel elderly. I’m a junior. Yes, I am.
I much prefer junior to middle-aged, which I am. I’ll start the trend here, in the upper middle part of the United States. Maybe your readers can do this!
I think of middle age as referring to the middle of adulthood and not the middle of life, basically the same idea, though I think of it starting around 40, and not 50.
At 45, I definitely feel middle-aged, even though my youngest is in first grade, and I have the reading glasses to prove it.
Ooh, do we get a junior prom? Actually I’m not sure if that’s a pro, or a con …
Interesting – I think of middle-aged as the 40-50/55 crowd.
Melissa- But if up to age 55ish is middle aged, would you call people older than that “elderly”? That would be, like, Oprah, Pierce Brosnan, John Travolta, Tom Hanks. It doesn’t seem right to use the word ELDERLY yet, so what would they be? Even Robert De Niro, John Goodman, Kathy Bates, Liam Neeson (all in their 60s) don’t seem ELDERLY yet.
My father-in-law is 71 and I wouldn’t call him elderly. But I think someone in the generation above him would have seemed elderly at 71; he’s benefited from years of better healthcare and nutrition. So maybe the terms do need re-defining. I’m in the UK though and we don’t use the terms you mentioned (except that a first-year at university is a fresher) so would need different ones.
I definitely see middle aged as 40s to 55ish. To me it’s pre-retirement but post young children. It’s the point in life where things are pretty much stable. You’ve built the career, have the family, own the homes or toys you are interested in, but you’re still working and paying for all of it. I feel like middle age should end around the time those things do.
I guess for me I’d see the progression as: Infant (0-2), Child(2-12), Teen(13-19), Young Adult(20-29), Adult or possibly 30 something (30s), Middle Aged (40s/early 50s), Retired (late 50s/60s), Senior(70s), Elderly(80+).
With most things, this probably has a lot to do with what stage of life you are currently in. Myself, I would have just hit Adult status!
Swistle, I have to admit I started reading this post fully expecting that there might be some little thing that would annoy me but since I agree with you more than not I risked it.
I am happy to say that there were no “offensive” statements and, as usual, funny and sharp insights.
I am 63 and I am definitely NOT elderly. I did stop coloring my gray hair because I find wrinkles with dyed hair very unbecoming and was afraid I would not realize when the time came for me when the face just did not match the hair. (That’s just for myself, my sister dyes her hair and I say more power to her if it makes her feel attractive.)
As for the classification, I agree we have to come up with a better way. My twins will be turning 40 this summer and I tease them about being middle-aged, but then, if they are middle-aged that would definitely bump me up to the elderly group and NO, NO, NO, there is no way I an ready to be either senior or elderly. I don’t care if I can get cheaper meals at the KMart.
I like that a lot! Except I feel like the 30s fell between the cracks… I would keep children and teens called children and teens, start “freshmen” at 20 and running through the 20s and maybe first couple years of the 30s… 30s to mid-40s could be “sophomores”, and thence basically as you laid out. As someone who’s spent the last couple years transitioning from a “twentysomething” to a “thirtysomething” having a clear distinction between those stages makes tons of sense to me.
I suppose I disagree in my usage (and experience) with the term. To me middle-age starts at 40. If I were forced to put a label to things I’d say:
Under 18 = childhood
18-25 = young adult
26-39 = adult
40-55= middle aged
56+ is “senior”
And elderly would be used more to describe the state of individuals as opposed to people according to age, necessarily. Some 60 year old seem quite elderly whereas some 75 year olds don’t seem elderly at all.
I am NOT middle-aged. I refuse to believe it. In fact, according to your definitions, I would say I’m not quite a junior yet either.
Wait…what was I talking about? ;-)
Lyndsey – except that in the book world, young adult is 13-18 years, not 18-25. It means, ‘you’re not reading children’s books any more but you probably don’t want to share a reading list with your mum’.
I bet many of the people calling 40 middle-aged are right around 25.
People wait longer to have children now. Maybe when people had kids at 20, 40 would seem middle-aged because the kids were grown. But now people at 40 have a toddler and a baby. They’re really not what we think of when we think of a middle-age person. I think the whole term should be dropped.
OOH. I like this. I have suddenly gone from “approaching middle age” (not exactly, but kinda in my head) to a sophomore. Sophomore sounds so…YOUNG and carefree. Love it.
I am 39, and if I feel like this now, I can’t imagine what I will feel like when I’m elderly. Sheesh.
Nice and easy…for those of you who went through the american schooling system…the rest of us have no idea of that order. Sure I’ve heard all the terms but if someone said ‘she is a sophmore,’ I’d have NO clue what that meant in terms of where in the school age range that was (beyond that it is after primary/elementary school). But I do get how this grouping could be useful to American people.
Heather- Good point! When my recommendations start to be implemented world-wide, I’ll be happy to think of a custom set for your locale!
Usually I read your posts and nod in agreement and smile. This time, you lost me! Probably because I think of the “ages” the same way as Cherish (up above). I’m 39 and not bothered by the middle-aged label. I do feel like I’m creeping into middle-age. I don’t feel like it is related to your stage in life though, simply your age. I know plenty of people in their 40s with toddlers! I’m hoping there’s a stage between middle-aged and elderly though, unless middle-aged just extends into your 60s (even 70s?). My parents are retired, have grandchildren between the infant and teenage stage, get the “senior” discount, still live an active life. Unless they’re living to age 120-130, they’re not middle-aged, but they’re also not elderly. Maybe they’re just “old” – how about that term? ;-)
I teach human development, and we have divided adulthood into early, middle, and late, but I intensely dislike the idea of ever being “late.” And the’s a subset of Lates called the Very Old Old, which to me is just an AWFUL label. If adulthood goes from 20 to the now-expected 85 years of age and we adopt your system, we could call them the PostGraduates, or better still, the Masters. :-)
Tracy- This is the very reason I think we need new labels: there is no stage between middle-aged and elderly. So you and your parents are all middle-aged right now by that system—and yet you’re definitely not in the same stage of life they are.
To answer what I think of the 55+ group if I think of 40-55 as middle aged, then I think of the 55-70/75 group as “seniors” or “retired.”
I hope I didn’t seem argumentative about my perspective versus any others….I just found it to be interesting how different people have different ideas on where the lines and categories fall.
Oh, and for research purposes, I am 40. One commentor suggested that those who thought that 40-55 was middle aged were probably around 25. Not the case with me. I consider myself to be entering the “middle-aged” status of my life. I am getting wrinkles. I am greying RAPIDLY. I don’t get carded any more EVER, even in places that are supposed to card you if you appear to be under 40. (That’s been a tough pill to swallow…not only am I 40, but I don’t even appear to be younger than such.) Sounds like middle-age to me.
Hmmm, I just turned 41 and I definitely DON’T feel middle-aged. My son is only a first-grader, so I’m still in the ‘parent of a young child group’. I work full-time, and I’m in grad school part-time with the goal of furthering my career, so retirement is not in my immediate picture at all. Also, I’m in the best physical condition I’ve ever been in. I feel like I’m two grade levels below middle age, and at least four grade levels younger than elderly.
I’ve always referred to 40-50ish as middle aged. Anything 60+ I generally say “older gentleman” or “elderly lady” or “senior citizen” or take a stab at their age- “oh he was about 65”
Whoops! hope I didn’t offend any 40 somethings if 50-60 is meant to be “middle aged”
I do like the 4 stages though. It makes a lot of sense.
Wow. I’m really lame. I’ve just been considering everyone “adult” to be “middle-aged.” Like, if you’re solidly enough into your 20’s to not still be acting like a twit, then you’re middle aged. And if you’re not so old that everyone can see your entire infrastructure through your skin, then you’re still “middle aged.” I just find it so hard to really know how old people are beyond baby, little kid, adult, and fossil. I’m routinely surprised to find out people’s actual age.
Having just turned 39 I’ve been having these same thoughts.
I think medically I am now classified ELDERLY gut, dammit, I am a young adult!
I’m another 40-something with a toddler, and I’m in grad school. Apparently, I’m delayed everything. I wonder if that means I will live until I’m 95?
The only time I really feel old, er, middle-aged is when I hear of an important person of the world who is 10-15 years younger than me.
I’m not far off sixty and probably consider myself middle aged, although I don’t feel it at all. I’m not in the US either so do not understand those terms you use. I found this article in a search for, ahem, older bloggers!
“Elderly” to me is perhaps someone in their 80’s and above – frail and with health issues. However I know people in their 80’s who have no serious health issues and are definitely not frail, so find it hard to class them as elderly. I’ve known people in their 40’s and 50’s who have seemed much older than their age, more due, unfortunately for them I think, to their attitude to life rather than any wisdom coming out of their mouths. I wonder if labels are helpful – or limiting.