HomeGoods: Not a Grocery Store

You know what I had for breakfast this morning? Dill pickle cashews (thanks a lot, TESS, now I’m going to have a $5/day HABIT) and coffee with chocolate creamer in it. Set breath phasers to “stun.”

I sense you being TACTFUL about me planning to include a calendar towel in the Guess the Birthdate package. This is only because you have not SEEN this calendar towel. OMG it is so cute. Observe:

 

Speaking of so cute, yesterday I bought a mug as a gift for my sister-in-law, and I love it too much to give it to her so I’m keeping it myself. Before you judge me, look at the mug:

So pretty! It has dear little STRAWBERRIES all over it, and since “The Strawberry” is the nickname my sister-in-law and my brother use for their baby-to-be, this is now my AUNT mug! I found it at HomeGoods; if I go back there in time and they still have more of the mugs, I’ll get another one for my sister-in-law and maybe also get one to include with the Guess the Birthdate package. I can wrap it in the calendar towel!

 

Speaking of HomeGoods, I had a customer service experience there yesterday that BLEW MY MIND. I had a coupon for a dollar off a bag of Lindt truffles, so I got a bag of Lindt truffles and I handed over the coupon. And the clerk acted like she had never seen or used a coupon before. She called over the supervisor. The supervisor had never seen or used a coupon before, either. She looked at both sides of the coupon as if I’d handed her something in a foreign language. She read the “To the retailer” section aloud carefully: “Lindt will reimburse you the face value of this coupon…” and then she said, I am NOT KIDDING, “But we’re not Lindt!” OMG!

I gave up immediately, because there are certain situations that are just obviously not going to improve, and because I’d already been prepared for the idea that they might not take coupons. Plus, I’ve worked in retail, so I don’t get rude or huffy with clerks. I said oh, no biggie, that was fine, just take the truffles off the order. And the clerk acted as if I’d hit her in the face (stood stock-still, then with GREAT effort started taking the truffles off the order), and then she WOULD NOT LET IT GO. In the next few minutes she told me:

1) That never in her ten years working there had anyone ever tried to use a coupon.

2) That she didn’t even know what to DO with a coupon.

3) That they’d have to call the Home Office to find out what to do if this bizarre situation ever presented itself again.

4) That they were not a GROCERY store.

5) That maybe I could use it at a grocery store. She could give me directions to the nearest one.

6) That if I’d found the coupon AT HomeGoods, of course they’d have honored it. But I hadn’t, had I, I’d BROUGHT IT IN with me, right? (She said this like I was trying to get away with something, as opposed to following Standard Coupon Procedure.)

7) That she had worked at Macy’s before this job, and that Macy’s wouldn’t have taken a coupon either.

8) That they were not a GROCERY store.

9) That it wasn’t that they “didn’t take” coupons, but rather that they weren’t, you know, a GROCERY store.

 

So! PSA! HomeGoods is not a grocery store, despite what you may have believed! Also: they have cute strawberry mugs!

48 thoughts on “HomeGoods: Not a Grocery Store

  1. Shelly Overlook

    OMG that is hilarious. I need to find a coupon to take to my Home Goods store to see what they do. I love my store, though. Right after Xmas if you spent $100 you got a $25 gift card, which I did without even realizing the gift card was coming. What a lovely treat!

    Reply
  2. Jess

    Macy’s is the KING of coupons. No, they are the EMPEROR of coupons. No, they’re the SUPREME WORLD RULER of coupons. That’s ALL THEY DO. It never makes sense to buy anything at Macy’s without using a coupon.

    Still, I think it’s kind of sweet that she offered to give you directions to the nearest grocery store.

    Reply
  3. Courtney in FL

    I love Home Goods but it is always run by older ladies/men who seem to be lost in their own little universe. Good for you for being nice about it because I would have snapped and would have explained just how clueless she was. Yeah, I’m real nice that way ;)

    Reply
  4. Kristine

    I was all, whatever, year calendar dish towel, I can’t even use it after this year….until Smiling Mama’s comment, and now I’m goingt o have to get on ebay and find a 1978 one for me and possibly a 2006 one for my son.

    Dang.

    Reply
  5. katethegr8

    I never heard someone freak out about a COUPON!! I though coupons were one of those things that were so easy to use “even a monkey to do it” !? But i guess I was wong :)

    oh yeah, and I want the towel/cup too!

    Reply
  6. d e v a n

    OMg – that is hilarious! I just can’t believe that you are seriously the ONLY person to EVER use a coupon in there. It’s like that EVERY time I try to use my cloth bags at WM. They act like I’ve grown two heads.
    Cute mug!

    Reply
  7. Tess

    This is EXACTLY the reason I do not do coupons. EXACTLY. Just the mere POSSIBILITY that this could happen now removes any chance that I will EVER consdier the use of a coupon, AGAIN.

    The balsamic and soy/wasabi almonds are good too. And even MORE heinous on the breath scale, if that is possible.

    Reply
  8. Mimi

    Oh my that is a funny story. You are like a coupon-carrying enigma from another planet to this lady. I can’t imagine being so taken aback from something so ordinary as a coupon. All types of stores take coupons, not just GROCERY stores. Wow.

    Reply
  9. Misty

    I was going to leave long-monsterous-post-like comment…and then decided to just write about it at “Home.”

    I am glad you are patient with retail clerky people. Because I am not and maybe that balances out the universe in some way.

    Reply
  10. Kim

    If the closest Home Goods store to me wasn’t 435 miles away in Brandon, FL (the one I used to shop at) I would take a coupon and go there TODAY. I love the store’s items, but I did get a coffee mug from there that only lasted several weeks before the seal broke and it became useless – I bet it would REALLY blow their minds if a customer tried to EXCHANGE or RETURN something, because you know, that, like coupons, is such a foreign concept to them. I never cease to be amazed at people.
    That dish towel is awesome! (And so is the mug)

    Reply
  11. Elizabeth

    Well now I’m obviously going to have to find a 1976 calendar dish towel on Ebay. !!!
    I’ve never even heard of Home Goods and now I have the irresistable urge to find one and try to use a coupon there.

    Reply
  12. squandra

    Wow. Way to not verbally smack her, because is sure sounds like she felt the need and right to do so to you. “We are not a GROCERY STORE.” GAH! DON’T CARE!

    I have never been to a Home Goods, nor do I live in your region, I don’t think, and yet it is still bugging me just that she’s … OUT THERE. Behaving that way. To harmless Swistles.

    Patience, saint, etc.

    Reply
  13. Maggie

    I’ve never heard of Home Goods, but now feel the urge to find one immediately and head over with either a bunch of coupons or with the intention of waiting until the ring up a bunch of items and then ask them to remove some from my order. Probably for the best I don’t know where one is…

    Reply
  14. the new girl

    HA HA HAAA!

    I love that the clerk was concerned that you thought they were a grocery store and the MANAGER was concerned that you thought they were LINDT. Like, you HAVE TO TAKE THE COUPON DIRECTLY TO THE MANUFACTURER.

    I will not be able to THINK about your breakfast until the END OF SEPTEMBER.

    Reply
  15. Saly

    I am addicted to those cashews as well, thoug at my Target, they sell for $3.49. Lucy loves them but calls them pickle peanuts. And Peanut doesn’t always sound like peanut. So when she mentioned a “pickle peanut” to my mother, she nearly spit her teeth out.

    We don’t have a Home Goods around here. Are they a grocery store? TeeHee.

    I need the straberry mug to add to my Swistle Mug collections, so, um, I’m waiting!

    Reply
  16. Jennifer

    Home Goods is quite possibly my favorite store EVER and I’m amazed that so many people don’t know how awesome it is.

    Here in Atlanta the parking lot is packed with luxury cars full of snooty women looking for bargains but it’s incredible what you can find there!

    I predict that you will quickly become enamored with Home Goods, thus cheating on your boyfriend Target.

    Reply
  17. Rah

    Oh, Swistle, you old coupon sneaker-inner. What are we going to do with people who sneak OUTSIDE COUPONS into Home Goods? [I personally have never heard of Home Goods, but I would drive some distance for that towel.] {and for the mug]

    Reply
  18. Kim/2 Kids

    OMG, that is unbelievable. I guess the only way to get through something like that is to find the humor. Think about what her life must be like, let’s hope she was just having a bad day. Good for you not boycotting the store, I don’t think I could be so mature.

    Reply
  19. Bea

    I had to click over from Bloglines to read the comments on this one because otherwise I couldn’t stand the irritation-without-an-object. Such ignorance should be eradicated!

    Reply
  20. Astarte

    Holy crap!!! I’ve run into a lot of ‘confused’ people at HomeGoods stores, too, but never one that obtuse!!! ‘They’re not a Lindt store’?!?!?! Holy shit!

    Reply
  21. bluedaisy

    OMG, this is ridiculous…I think I would have been okay until she was going ON AND ON about it. That part would have irritated me. I think I would have left but then, look at that cute little mug you got! I love the calendar too :) We just got a HomeGoods close to us and now I am thinking I won’t go there!

    Reply
  22. Paige & John

    OH my gosh that story was so funny. I love it that she thought the “Lindt will reimburse you…” part was meant for you. Or something. I’ve never been to a Home Goods, but I am intrigued. Do they sell fresh produce and meat as well? haha, jk.

    Reply
  23. Paige & John

    OH my gosh that story was so funny. I love it that she thought the “Lindt will reimburse you…” part was meant for you. Or something. I’ve never been to a Home Goods, but I am intrigued. Do they sell fresh produce and meat as well? haha, jk.

    Reply
  24. Mommy Daisy

    That is a funny story about the coupon. Who could have guessed that it would cause such a ruckus.

    Also, the calendar is cute! It reminds me of my husband’s grandmother. She used to buy them every year. We have a few of her old ones that we use for cleaning rags.

    Love the mug too. “The Strawberry” is an adorable nickname for the baby. My sister is newly pregnant (making me an aunt for the first time), and my son asked me yesterday what he could call the baby. I couldn’t believe my 2 year old would ask something like that. I told him for now he could just call it “cousin”. Ha!

    Reply
  25. Michelle

    Wow. Having never been to Homegoods before, I don’t know that I’d be ok with that. Fine, don’t take a coupon, but ummm don’t toss attitude out. I’m impressed that you just took it as a mental note to laugh about later. Then again… I’m not going to rush out and shop there, although there’s one kind of near me that I’ve had my eye on stopping at.

    Reply
  26. Sara

    I think that your cashier must be related to the woman that Erin at momommy.blogspot.com had to deal with in January.
    And take it or don’t take it (though they should have taken it!), but don’t go on and on…you didn’t try to steal the damn things!

    Reply
  27. TB

    I’ll use coupons anywhere I can. I recently tried at a drug store closeout place where most likely the inventory came out of the back of a panel van, but man are the prices ever good.

    Also your strawberry mug reminds me of matching sundress outfits my mother bought me and my sisters one year for family photos. Same pattern. I loved those dresses and wore mine long after it became too small to be an actual dress and I had to wear it as a shirt over jeans.

    Reply
  28. Kelsey

    This post has been sitting in my google reader forever because I keep meaning to tell you how funny I found it. You had me at “Set breath phasers to ‘stun.'” We don’t have a Home Goods near us, but if they ever build one I’ll be sure to remember that they aren’t a grocery store!

    Reply

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