Moping Morosely Over Empty Walls; “This Happens to Everyone”

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You should have seen me this morning: morosely packing wall art into moving boxes, listening mopily to Death Cab for Cutie, noticing the walls start to look empty and grubby, and getting all weepy and sad about leaving this house. After awhile I had to switch to Odds Are on repeat, plus a steady stream of the kind of motivational/attitude-changing talk that would be super-annoying coming from someone else but I’ve found can be successfully SELF-applied: “Is this happening as a result of a financial or marital catastrophe, so that you are going to lose a lot of your things and also you are having to deal with those severe stresses on top of everything else? No. Are all of your dear belongings BURNING IN A FIRE? No. Are you having to LEAVE THEM ALL BEHIND as you escape to another country with only what you can carry? No. No, in fact you are giving them a good dusting, packing them gently, and BRINGING THEM ALL WITH YOU. So stop DABBING AT YOUR EYES and thinking ‘My houuuuuuuuuussssssssse’! Also, maybe check the calendar: I’m not sure this was the best time of the month for this particular packing task. Maybe next let’s pack some computer cables or the junk drawer or something.”

I’m also using the “This happens to everyone” technique. For example, one source of stress right now is that it seems as if our old house is breaking: the dishwasher is gradually losing usability, and now there are two brownish spots on the office ceiling that I can’t remember if they were there before or if they’re new leaks. But, like, statistically, this is going to happen to pretty much everyone who is moving. There are going to be unpleasant little surprises with the new house and also with the old house, and those are not surprises happening only to US and OUR move.

And as we pack, we are leaving behind all these dirty/grubby/dusty places. That too happens to everyone, or nearly everyone (I do know there are people who regularly move all their furniture to clean under it and behind it, but those are not the people who generally seek out my friendship), and so our situation is not a situation that will shock or appall the housecleaners. This isn’t just US and OUR house and OUR move: everyone who moves has to deal with this one way or another when they move. Everyone’s walls look sad and kind of grubby and lonely after the wall art comes down. *sentimental tears leaking*

We’re re-using a stranger’s moving boxes, fetched for me by my friend Morgan from her neighborhood freebies list. And, like, the box marked “Glen’s golf shirts / running clothes” was at one point being packed by someone, possibly someone overwhelmed. And yet now Glen’s golf shirts / running clothes are presumably residing in their new home, and the move is over, and the boxes are no longer needed. This is just the normal way it feels to move, and these are the normal things that happen; the discomfort is not a sign that this is a terrible decision.

Then I took a lunch break, and I found I have hit my wall with re-runs of The West Wing. I think of it as losing a lot of joy in the fifth season, and now I’m partway through the sixth season and it seems like every episode is tense or harried or frustrating, and a lot of the humor is gone. So I’m switching back over to Northern Exposure, which so far is a pretty good call. The slow-burn romance is too blatantly/obviously a deliberate slow-burn romance but I’m okay with that. One of the downsides of The West Wing–though I found it understandable as a plot decision–was “not enough romance.” (I don’t think they really had TIME for romance.)

All the Gift Ideas that Won’t Work for Our Impossible Teenager But Might Work for Yours

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I would like to discuss Rob, who is 19 years old and impossible to buy for.

Before I launch into the reasons he is terrible, I would like to say that he was home for a few days for Thanksgiving break and he was an absolute treat. Well, there were a couple of moments that were less than treatlike, but he IS a college sophomore and we must expect that. In general he was funny and chatty and nice to have at home, and I enjoyed his visit.

And we got done the two major and important tasks I’d set for that time: (1) family Christmas card photo in front of the new house and (2) Rob’s flu shot. My dad said he’d think it would be in the college’s best interest to sponsor a nurse to just go around and give the shot to every student who doesn’t object, and I QUITE AGREE. (A pharmacy does come to campus and set up a station at certain times, but they charge for that and they don’t take insurance, and also last year Rob claimed to be unable to establish when they were there.)

Where was I? Oh, yes: Rob is impossible to buy for. Here are the things that make him impossible (some of which might be harvestable as ideas for the less-impossible or differently-impossible teenagers in your life):

1. He is in that stage of life when toys no longer appeal but household stuff is not yet exciting.

2. He lives mostly at college so he doesn’t have a lot of room/need for stuff.

3. He is of a minimalist/ascetic nature, and doesn’t WANT much stuff, and seems to be making a point of it. Remember this is the child who refused a second set of bedding/towels for college. (He has experienced zero regret and says he has never yet needed a second set of either. I sent him a Christmas-themed pillowcase and he got rid of his other pillowcase so he wouldn’t have two.)

4. He has declined “better version” things such as: better winter boots, better gloves, more-luxurious sheets, an expensive pillow.

5. He has declined “good for now and also for later” things such as luggage, a digital camera, a nice lamp, a tool set, a nice clock, dishes, spices, silverware, baking pans, kitchen appliances, a mini-fridge, minor pieces of furniture.

6. He says he has plenty of clothes and there are no special/expensive clothing items that appeal.

7. He doesn’t drink coffee. He doesn’t want a travel mug. He doesn’t get a thrill from eating out, so he doesn’t want gift cards to restaurants or pizza places. I asked if there were stores he would want gift cards for; he said no, he doesn’t need/want anything. (Plus, that’s sad/boring to unwrap.) I suggested Expensive Treats and he says he DOESN’T REALLY EAT SNACKS. I mean.

8. He plays a fair amount of music, so I asked if he wanted sheet music or another instrument or musical recordings or a stereo. No.

9. He’s not at all interested in grooming-related stuff—no fancy razors, no cool hair products, no nice face masks, no fancy shower products, etc.

10. He’s full-up on things such as Rubik’s Cubes and logic puzzles.

11. He doesn’t want puzzle books or regular books.

12. We already got him a portable phone charger and a super-fast plug-in phone charger.

13. There are no subscriptions he wants. He’s tried some of those in the past (audio books, study services, access to sites) and doesn’t want/need any right now.

14. I thought he might want money to put towards Reddit Gold or phone apps or some other such online thing, but no.

15. Normally a person like this might be a good candidate for Experience Gifts, but he is up to his hairline in Experiences right now: he’s taking classes, he’s taking voice lessons, he’s taking fencing lessons, he’s going to the campus gym, he’s attending meetings of various campus clubs. He has TOO MUCH to do, not too little.

16. Normally a person like this might be a good candidate for charitable donations in their name, but he is not yet at the stage where he wants this.

17. Normally a person like this might be a good candidate for NO PRESENTS AT ALL, but he is my child and I am fond of him and also I feel a certain obligation.

18. I suggested savings bonds, which is what one set of grandparents got me when I was a child. It’s a nice way to say “There might not be anything you want NOW, but I assume you will want things LATER.” He found this idea about as thrilling as I did when I was a child, which is to say not thrilling at all. Then he made a cynical remark about the possibility of our government/banks/money existing in the same way by the time the bond matured.

19. His birthday is very close to Christmas, so we need double ideas and we have almost none.

 

We have two ideas. One is his idea: a bike. One is my idea, but he said yes: a video game system to play with his roommates.

Problems:

1. We have an approximate budget of $100 for him for Christmas and another $100 for birthday. The video game system is $300 and that’s without additional controllers (it only comes with one controller and he has three roommates), cables, or games. (I’d thought the retro NES would be perfect for this at $80 for system/controllers/cables, but he’s meh about it: he wants to be able to buy current/new games.

1b. I mean, we could make the video game system a joint Christmas/birthday gift and just plan to spend more on him because he’s older and more difficult to buy for…but then he gets, what, one gift at Christmas and nothing on his birthday? This is probably our frontrunner plan but it seems sad.

1c. Another idea is we could buy a used system and buy him additional controllers/games.

 

2. I don’t know how to choose a bicycle or what it would cost, but he goes to college in a location with a lot of winter, so we think he is unlikely to use it as much as he thinks he would. And when we were like, “Where would you store it when you weren’t able to use it?,” he was like “Uhhhh….” Also he came late in life to bike-riding, and when he was home for the summer I had to take him to the ER because he didn’t know you can’t make a sharp turn in a sandy area, so I am in general Not Keen on him having a bicycle in a CITY. I mean, at this point I’m willing to consider it, but the idea makes me feel anxious and unhappy.

 

What I WISH I’d done was NOT ASK HIM. I could have just bought him some things I thought he could use, and too bad if they failed. But I wanted to be sensitive to his age and personality, and also I wanted to get him some things he would be glad to have, instead of some things he’d sneak onto our basement storage shelves, unopened. (I’ve been packing, and I’ve been finding a lot of those things.)

Assorted Gift Ideas

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This Ecosphere is surprisingly expensive, but William wanted it last year so we got it for him:

(image from Amazon.com)

It’s a 4-inch glass sphere. Inside there is some vegetation, a nice little branch, some gravel, and two or three tiny shrimp. You can’t open it; it’s a contained system that runs on The Right Amount of Sunlight (you watch the vegetation, and if it gets too big you reduce the sunlight, or if it gets too small you increase the sunlight). William’s had it for a year, and two of the three shrimp are still alive.

The biggest pain is that you have to be available to accept the delivery in person when it arrives: it can’t, like, sit outside in the freezing cold. The second-biggest pain is that it needs some light every day, so you can’t store it in a closet until Christmas. Each day when William went to school, I’d take it out and put it near a window; I had an alarm set to remind me to pack it back in its box before the bus came back. …Boy, I am probably talking you right out of this. But William has really liked this gift, and especially in the beginning spent a lot of time watching the shrimp and monitoring the vegetation and being generally interested in the whole thing. One of the most enduringly successful gifts we’ve gotten him—and, once the gift is given and you no longer have to sneak it in and out of its box, a lot easier than a fish tank.

 

The pink wig I was so pleased with is marked down to $12.99 now. I bought another for myself but in sky blue.

(image from Amazon.com)

I am this close to buying it also in violet and dark brown.

 

The concept/cover/title of this book appealed to me, so I got it from our library:

(image from Amazon.com)

How To Be a Good Creature: A Memoir in Thirteen Animals, by Sy Montgomery. It took me a little while to get into the writing style; it’s fairly sentimental, as you’d expect. But I read the whole thing and enjoyed a lot of it, and it struck me as a very good gift book: great cover, general-interest topic, appealingly illustrated, good animal stories.

 

Friends gave me these flameless candles as a housewarming gift, and they are so great and so pretty (the candles, I mean, though also of course the friends):

(image from Amazon.com)

Several people in the group already owned them, and several more bought them after seeing mine, so now they’re The Official Flameless Candle of Our Group. The little “flame” wiggles around randomly so it seems like it’s really burning/flickering, and there is a REMOTE CONTROL so you can turn them on or off from your comfy chair, and best of all there’s a timer so you don’t forget and leave them on all night and wear out the batteries. They also come in a birch version, and in other colors including pink, yellow, and green. One friend bought the burgundy ones so I can tell you those are also super beautiful.

A timely suggestion considering the recent government report that climate change is “an immediate threat, not a far-off possibility” and that we can expect to see an uptick in natural disasters: the Life Straw!

(image from Amazon.com)

It’s at $12 right now, which is a pretty good price for it. I think lowest I’ve seen is $10 and the highest was $20.

 

The paint-by-sticker category has a new book: CATS.

(image from Amazon.com)

I will probably get this for Elizabeth. Or maybe it will have to be a whole-family gift.

 

I was going to get this NES Classic video game system for Paul so he could re-enjoy his youth, and I consulted with Edward (our household video game expert) about whether I should get the NES Classic or the Super NES Classic. Edward thought the NES Classic was better than the Super (it had to do mostly with the pre-loaded game selection), but he was so into it and so excited about it that I consulted with Paul and we decided to get it for Edward instead. (“As long as I can still play it too,” Paul clarified.)

(image from Amazon.com)

After reading the reviews, I also bought a second controller and a two-pack of extension cables. (The games are all pre-loaded, so you don’t have to buy any games, and in fact CAN’T buy any more games.)

 

If you don’t already own MasterMind (it’s a game like Monopoly or Sorry, where even if you don’t think you own it, you might very well own it), I recommend it—and as I’m posting this, it’s down to $9.50 which is a good price for it.

My nephew, who was six years old at the time, taught me to play it. It’s quick and simple to learn, but then it’s like Sudoku or one of those other games where you keep figuring out new strategies. I find it mind-stretching in a way that is probably very good for warding off Alzheimer’s / counteracting the effects of vodka tonics.

 

If you have kids who like to talk constantly about what the household cats are doing/thinking and what their facial expressions and postures are communicating, I suspect your kids would enjoy the book Breaking Cat News:

(image from Amazon.com)

Mine sure did, and “Ma’am? Ma’am?” is a frequent part of our familyspeak now.

 

If you have a cat who’s a bit on the chonkers side, or a cat who needs to eat slowly for some other reason, or a cat who has a high need for digging/playing, may we suggest this Catit cat-feeding device?

(image from Amazon.com)

I’m not saying Elizabeth and I attended a presentation given by a cat therapist on the topic of how to make your cat’s life happier, except we absolutely did do that, and this was one of the cat-life-improving items the therapist recommended. Apparently cats have an instinct/impulse to dig rodents out of holes, and this feeder satisfies that urge. We have two cats who would prefer to eat the easiest way possible and they just use the bowl, but we have one cat who gets bored and then finds her fun by tormenting the other two cats, and this feeder keeps her occupied many times a day. She will be up to her armpit in it just like the cat in the product photo.

 

What I like in a jigsaw puzzle is being able to pick which part I want to work on (a specific ornament on the tree, a specific compartment of the shadowbox, a specific bird, etc.) and work on that, and then pick another thing and work on that, and then join those things together. If you like the kinds of puzzles I like (as opposed to the kinds with vast expanses of sky/sea/foliage/mountain, or the kinds that are like just an impossible picture of a bunch of candy corn), may I recommend this doughnut one?

(image from Amazon.com)

And it only has 300 pieces, so it’s good for working on with mid-age children. (I also loved this 500-piece Pantone one, but I only see it available from third-party sellers with high shipping.)

 

I’m not saying this is an EXCITING present, but this small Honeywell is my favorite fan and at time of posting it is on sale for $9.99:

(image from Amazon.com)

I have it on my bureau at home. I bring it with me when I travel. (Except when I visit my brother/sister-in-law, because they already have the same fan in their guest room.) It can be tilted to various angles, and it has three speeds. I’ve had mine for years. I bought one for Rob for his dorm room. I bought another one just now because $9.99 is a nice price and there are a lot of rooms in our new house.

Emptying House; Dust EVERYWHERE; Housecleaners

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We are at the point in this move where I keep getting startled by empty spaces. The bathroom closet still has the whole stack of towels, but the other shelves have nothing on them except a package of incense, a box of matches, a bottle of NyQuil, a box of bandaids, and a container of nailpolish remover. We have a big piece of furniture with drawers and shelves and a fold-down desk, and it is empty except for some miscellaneous trash (dust, scraps of paper, old empty water balloon, clump of staples, old Webkinz collector card, plastic wrapper, broken colored pencil, single wrinkled envelope) I have for some reason not been able to summon the morale to dispose of. There are empty bookshelves all over the house, or bookshelves with just a few books left on them.

Something I hadn’t realized is that having the new house’s floors refinished would result in DUST LITERALLY COVERING EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE HOUSE. It’s all in the woodwork. It’s on every cupboard/drawer handle. It’s on the curtain rods and the curtains. Paul did one of his things I am grateful for, which is that he kept pushing forward on hiring housecleaners to handle it, even though I kept panicking and despairing and pushing back and giving up about the cost and the difficulty in finding/choosing someone. We now have cleaners booked for the first week of December, and they are going to get rid of all the dust and also they are going to clean the bathrooms and the kitchen and the refrigerator and the stove, and then they are going to come back every two weeks after that and we will see if I can handle that without freaking out all the time (the expense! people in my house!) and can instead feel happy and life-changed and appreciative. I am thinking I will tie this in to my social life: if I give the cleaners their own key, I can plan to be out having coffee with a friend whenever they’re due to be there.

FURTHERMORE, now that we Have Cleaners, we can also have them clean our OLD house after we move out! So I will not have to do it! I can just write a big check and say “Okay, we’re out and you can get in there now!”

We’re not REALLY turning our minds to it until we’re moved out, but we have to consult a realtor about what to do with our old house. It’s zoned residential/commercial and it’s in a busy/commercial area without a lot of other houses around, so it’s very possible that we could spend a ton of money having it painted and having the floors refinished and having it cleaned—and then a business would come along, buy it, and bulldoze it, wasting all the money/effort. But if we DON’T do the painting/refinishing/cleaning, perhaps that DOOMS the house to be interesting only to a business. Well. We’re hoping the realtor will be surer about what we should do. And at least now we know to have the floors refinished BEFORE hiring cleaners.

Complaining about Packing/Moving

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Please tell me I am remembering correctly that, when packing, there is a long period of time where it feels as if one will continue to pack box after box throughout the remainder of eternity, never actually making any difference in the amount of stuff that remains to be packed, like some sort of ancient mythological participant whose liver is pecked out and restored daily, or who rolls a stone up a hill daily, or who sands away a mountain with her beak until the mountain is gone—but that then one day, ONE DAY IN THE ACTUAL EXISTING FUTURE, there comes a point when suddenly it will feel as if rapid progress is being made. Please tell me that is an accurate memory. Right now I am sanding down the mountain and the mountain is still apparently completely there, whereas my beak is starting to get worn down and discouraged.

We have discussed already that I am doing the absolute easiest of all possible moves. It is in the same town. We have flexibility with selling our old house, so we can take the transition slowly. My kids are all in school, not under my feet. And still, STILL, I feel as if this is the most monstrous, consuming, gigantic, nearly-impossible task. So I wondered if those of you who had to do this same task but under far more challenging circumstances would like to take this opportunity to vent about how that went. You will have a very sympathetic ear.

Gift Ideas for Pissed-Off Progressive Women

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I just bought myself a little present to celebrate this past Tuesday’s elections:

(image from Amazon.com)

Sienna Sky Blue Wave earrings.

 

Which reminds me of two other pairs of earrings I’ve bought recently, both of which are bee-themed. If you are not friends with any pissed-off progressive women, you may not have heard that bees are the current symbol of how very pissed-off the progressive women are. Plus, bees are cute. Plus, bees are crucial to our survival and also endangered, so it’s Bee Awareness too.

(image from Ruby Spirit Designs on Etsy)

Vintage Bee Leverback earrings and the matching adjustable ring and necklace from Ruby Spirit Designs. The way Etsy works, if someone buys the exact earrings or ring or necklace I linked to, it’ll show as sold when you click through—but that doesn’t mean there are no more available: go to the shop’s link and see if another of the same item has been re-posted (sometimes it takes a few days). This seller is in the UK, so if you’re in the US and you want these as a holiday gift for someone, it would be wise to order early.

 

(image from Jen’s Bead Box on Etsy.com)

Brass honey bee earrings from Jen’s Bead Box. They also come in a silver version. These are small and pretty, and my mom commented that she kept noticing them moving near my ears as if they were hovering buzzily. Mine arrived looking shinier and more golden than I’d expected, but the brass has gradually darkened.

 

(image from PlanUSA.org)

If you’re shopping for someone who likes charity gifts, a $50 donation in their name to PlanUSA.org will protect a girl.

 

(image from Amazon.com)

Brazen: Rebel Ladies Who Rocked the World, by graphic novelist Pénélope Bagieu. A thrilling selection of women throughout history, comics-style. I loved it. And it makes a nice gift book: it’s a fancier/larger/denser paperback, with a textured cover.

 

(image from Amazon.com)

Rad Women Worldwide: Artists and Athletes, Pirates and Punks, and Other Revolutionaries Who Shaped History, by Kate Schatz, illustrated by Miriam Klein Stahl. Paul gave this to me and it’s still in my to-read pile, but I can tell you I certainly enjoyed receiving it. A nice hardcover.

 

(image from Amazon.com)

The Power, by Naomi Alderman. Revenge-fantasy fiction about what might happen if women developed a power that meant suddenly men were the ones who had to be scared about walking alone at night, while women could walk freely and comfortably.

 

(image from Amazon.com)

Why Liberals Win the Culture Wars (Even When They Lose Elections), by Stephen Prothero. Like many non-fiction books, this seems to me to be two essays’ worth of material padded to book length. I read until I caught the gist, then kept reading the point-reinforcing examples for awhile, then skimmed for awhile to more interesting examples, then felt in no need of further examples and stopped reading. Well worth the cost of the book: the gist has stayed with me in times of trouble, and it is a very reassuring gist.

 

This is Swistle from the future adding this next suggestion, which wasn’t yet published at the time of this post:

(image from Amazon.com)

The Future of Another Timeline, by Annalee Newitz. See review post.

 

I have been acquiring a collection of political/fundraising t-shirts. Most such t-shirts are unisex sizing, which generally means men’s sizing, which means they poof out around my shoulders and grip too tightly at the hip; those end up at the bottom of the drawer, or transferred to Paul’s drawer. (Can you imagine men putting up with “unisex” shirts that were baggy in the chest, narrow in the shoulders, maybe with a nice scoop neck and little cap sleeves? With a few organizations offering a “men’s” style option, which would only be available in limited sizes and would cost more money?)

Where was I? Oh yes: here are two shirts that are better than the usual unisex:

(image from ACLU.org)

ACLU basic tee. I’m not saying it’s fancy, but it’s a soft, comfy, drapier knit and I think it’s cute. It still looks like I’m wearing my boyfriend’s t-shirt, but it looks like that was a good idea instead of a bad one.

 

(image from HRC.org)

Human Rights Campaign Everyone Rainbow t-shirt. Almost as good fit-wise as the ACLU one. It’s kind of like CHILD-fit rather than boyfriend-fit or whatever: it reminds me of how it felt to wear clothes when I was a child and didn’t spend any time thinking about how annoying it was that unisex clothing was fitted for men. And it’s a more decorative/fun design than the ACLU one, if you’re looking for gifts. The Rainbow T-Shirt is another favorite; I have it in grey.

 

Speaking of everyone/equality/rainbow, I am not really a bumper-sticker kind of girl, but I have one of these equality stickers on the back of my car:

(image from HRC.org)

I like that it’s very, very simple but also A HUGE AND IMPORTANT CONCEPT COVERING MULTIPLE CURRENT ISSUES. Also: the way I feel when I see the same sticker on other people’s cars is the way I want those other people to feel when they see the sticker on mine.

Speaking of stickers, I also ordered a bee sticker. I’ll put it on the other side of the bumper.

(image from Amazon.com)

It feels like a secret and subversive signal to other members of The Hive.

 

If you haven’t already, I suggest spending time on Emily McDowell’s site. There you will find excellence such as:

(image from emilymcdowell.com)

American Values tote bag.

 

(image from emilymcdowell.com)

Everything Will Be Okay mug.

 

(image from emilymcdowell.com)

Patriarchy tote. I like the mug even more, but it’s out of stock and I didn’t want to get your hopes up with a picture of it and then say “Ha ha but you can’t have it right now!!”

(image from emilymcdowell.com)

Dystopia napkins.

 

Perhaps you know someone who still plays solitaire old-school:

(image from Amazon.com)

The Woman Cards.

 

This nail polish is a color I don’t even particularly like, but I have two bottles: one among my other polishes and one tucked away with my Hillary Clinton on a unicorn t-shirt (made of really wonderful-feeling cotton, but 100% men’s fit so it’s in a drawer) and 2016 campaign pins.

(image from Amazon.com)

OPI nail polish in Madam President. Within our lifetime, perhaps.

Gift Ideas for 13-Year-Olds: Pretty Much Art Stuff and Video Games

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If we are really going to move between Thanksgiving and Christmas, that is going to cut into gift-post-writing time. I’m going to see what I can get done early. Here’s a bunch of stuff we got the twins for their 13th birthday, in case you have any kids of the same approximate age and interests to buy for:

(image from Amazon.com)

Kawaii Doodle Class. My 9-year-old niece had this book and was making sheet after sheet of the cutest drawings ever, so I bought the book for Elizabeth. SO MUCH CUTE. Highly recommend.

 

(image from Amazon.com)

Cute cat pens to wrap up with the book.

 

Edward got Kanoodle last Christmas and wanted Kanoodle Genius for his birthday. We’re getting him Kanoodle Extreme this Christmas.

 

(image from Amazon.com)

Oh my gosh, Chameleon pens are amazing. They are so expensive but when Elizabeth colors with them, the resulting pictures look like illustrations in a book. My parents bought her a 22-pen set to start with, and then she puts smaller sets on her wish list when she notices there are colors she could use more of. We got her skin tones and floral tones for her birthday.

 

(image from Amazon.com)

Kinect Sports and Kinect Sports 2. Edward is an Indoors Type, so I will buy him almost anything that makes him willingly move around.

 

(image from Amazon.com)

Kawaii Alpaca coloring book. There was a bit of a kawaii/alpaca/art theme to this birthday.

 

(image from Amazon.com)

Alpaca page-markers, to go with the coloring book, not that they really go with the coloring book but they didn’t seem like enough to wrap on their own.

 

(image from Amazon.com)

Zelda: A Link Between Worlds. We bought a Nintendo 3DS for Rob a long time ago, and now Edward has it as a handmedown.

Ghost of the Old House; Health Insurance Continues To Be Broken

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A quick count shows me that of the last dozen posts, ten have been at least partially about the new house. Well. It’s understandable. Which doesn’t mean it’s not a little boring.

So today I will talk about the OLD house. Ha ha! A little joke there. Except I really am going to go on to say something about our old/current house, which is that the bathroom fan stopped working, and then the dishwasher started making a weird buzzing noise, and then the box fan we were using as a stand-in for the bathroom fan ALSO broke, and then the kitchen sink started dripping, and now the OTHER bathroom fan is getting loud, and what in tarnation is going on here? Does the old house know we’re leaving? Is there a house ghost, and is it displeased? Listen, you can come with us to the new house, house ghost. In fact, we’d love it if you would. Please let us know your transportation container of choice. My first thought was cat carrier, but that seems a little too well-ventilated for someone of a vaporeal nature. Mason jar? Those are very hip right now, and nicely sealed.

Today’s plan is nothing to look forward to: grocery shopping, dentist appointment, and three phone calls to health insurance and doctors’ offices to straighten out several issues. We have new health insurance because we always seem to have new health insurance. We currently pay twice as much per month for our health insurance as we paid for our two-bedroom two-bathroom apartment (with balcony, and walk-in closet, and free cable, and access to pool and exercise center; safe quiet neighborhood but easy walking distance to grocery store, drug store, pizza place, frozen-yogurt place, video rental store, Subway, Goodwill, and bus stop) (why oh why did we ever leave) back when Rob was born. I know better than to compare old money to new money, but it seems to happen automatically as I age. And anyway I just used an inflation calculator, and putting everything in 2018 dollars we are paying approximately two hundred 2018 dollars more per month for our current health insurance than we paid for that apartment.

Anyway, our current policy is a nice one, as it jolly well should be for this price, and the customer service representatives are just lovely: so friendly and helpful and so good at fixing things. And the reason I know they are so lovely and so good at fixing things is that I already have extensive experience calling them and asking them to fix things. More than once a month, I get an explanation of benefits in which our insurance company explains that we didn’t acquire the necessary referral, or else I get a bill from a doctor saying our insurance wouldn’t pay for something they absolutely ought to be paying for. Most recently, I got a bill saying we didn’t obtain a necessary referral—even though I had a carbon copy of that referral in my hand, AND when I called the billing-doctor’s office (thinking maybe they accidentally failed to submit it) they said they could see on their computer a scan of it submitted along with the claim, and also they had a confirmation number from the insurance company for the submission of that referral, and they were unable to take my suggested solution of “can it be resubmitted?” because the system will not let them re-submit a duplicate of something that has already been successfully received and confirmed by the insurance company. So I had to call the insurance company BACK and say the doctor says she can’t submit something she has already submitted, and would this confirmation number be useful? And OH, they were so friendly and helpful and they fixed it all up.

Today I have to call about a co-pay charged to me twice; a bill for the scoliosis brace that is almost exactly twice the amount they told us ahead of time it would be; and a check from the insurance company that arrived, apparently for us to use for the brace. (This has never happened before; the insurance has always paid the provider directly.) With the check is a form, and on the form there is the FAQ “Why am I receiving this?” The answer to this question is: “This is not a bill. If you owe money, your provider will bill you directly.” Good talk.

Floor-Refinishing; Sealing Floors for Dogs; Dialing Back Thanksgiving

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The flooring guys finally called me back, and they came the very next morning to give an estimate, and they started work the next day after that; their briskness in these matters has mollified me about the days I waited for them to call. Paul went over to snoop the progress and says it looks odd and awesome: before, the floors looked quite different from room to room, but now that they’re sanded they look the same or nearly the same. The flooring guy told me ahead of time that would be the case: he said they only looked different because of different finishes and different ages and different layers of wear, but they were actually all white oak or red oak with only one room different (fir). This is an outcome that makes me a little sad and makes Paul very happy: I liked the assorted-looking floors, but he loves that they’ll all match. Well. I AM glad they’ll all be in good shape and well-protected now.

I asked about treating the floors for dogs, and the floor guy is a lifelong dog owner and said that refinishing the floors is the very treatment that needs to be done before getting a dog. He recommended waiting awhile after the finishing was done (six months, I think?) before adding the dog. I asked if there was any way we could level-up the floor-refinishing to make it EVEN MORE PROTECTED and he said no. He also gave me the valuable information that it is not uncommon for a new dog to poop in every room of the house, just to settle in. Well. Good to know ahead of time.

The floor-refinishing was the main thing preventing us from moving over to the new house or knowing when we could plan to do so. Now that they’re in there working on it, we can schedule the move. We have the flexibility to wait to allow the floors to completely cure after refinishing, which takes three weeks; so we think we’ll have one more Thanksgiving in this house (at least a few of the children are glad about that: there has been some lamenting along the lines of “I didn’t even KNOW that last Christmas would be our last Christmas in this house!!”) and then move between Thanksgiving and Christmas. As one of my friends put it, “It isn’t as if there’s anything else going on then.”

I am planning, however, to seriously dial back the Thanksgiving. I will not get out my grandma’s china: we will use our regular dishes or possibly even disposable ones. I will not fool around with interesting vegetable dishes: I will get a bag of frozen peas and another of frozen corn. I will probably still make two desserts because I love the desserts and they’re my favorite things to make, but I will not make THREE desserts. And my parents always bring the turkey and stuffing, so I don’t have to think about those.

Scoliosis Update 2: Measured for the Brace, Fitted to the Brace, and Weaning On to the Brace

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Elizabeth was measured for her scoliosis brace, and the brace was made, and then we had a fitting appointment that involved power tools, and now she is “weaning on” to the brace: wearing it for increasingly long sessions for an increasingly large total of hours per day. I meant to do a “What It’s Like…” post for the measuring and another for the fitting, but I forgot, and now already the details are fading.

The gist is that Elizabeth and I both found the measurement appointment very uncomfortable. She had to wear a semi-see-through extremely-clingy long tank-top that looked kind of like an extremely inappropriate dress; I could see her underwear through it. The technician doing the measurements was a man, and he had to do a lot of measuring with a tight measuring tape all over her torso, including her chest, her pelvic bones, and her butt. I was/am mad that they didn’t have a female tech for this. I sat there wondering how much education I would need to be the one to fill that gap.

The final straw was when he had to use a handheld device that touchlessly scanned her shape into the computer. She was positioned facing the screen, and her own 3D shape appeared on the screen as he scanned. Any color for this 3D shape would have been bad enough, but they made it beige. So basically it looked like her naked self appearing on the computer screen, in front of a man and her mother.

The only fun part was that she got to choose what the brace looks like: there were a bunch of solid-color choices and a bunch of patterns.

Elizabeth and I were talking about the appointment on the way home, and between us we easily thought of several ways it could have been less excruciating. One involves an invention (make a totally-hands-off measurement scanner), but the others are all doable right now:

1. Have a female technician. I don’t care if they need to offer full scholarships with pay to get women into this field in our area. FEMALE. TECHNICIAN.

2. If she has to wear a long tight tank-top dress for the measuring, fine. But could it be one we can’t see her underwear through?

3. Patient should be facing AWAY from the computer screen as the 3D scan is being done.

4. The 3D scan should appear in a NON-SKIN-COLOR such as green or red or purple, just in case the patient does catch a glimpse.

Anyway. To his credit, the tech seemed aware of the situation’s potential for discomfort, and made remarks intended to be reassuring: he made sure to tell me that he had an 11-year-old daughter, and he kept telling us what he was about to do and why he needed to do it. And he had a pleasing and non-threatening temperament/manner—almost apologetic. But all I’m really saying with this paragraph is that it could have been worse.

The next appointment was the fitting; that was 4 weeks after the measurement session and was with a different (but still male) tech. The brace had been made, and now a tech needed to make sure it fit Elizabeth well. He put the brace onto her and measured some things; he had her sit down to make sure it still fit well. He asked her if any places were particularly uncomfortable (hard to answer). He then took the brace off, brought it into an adjoining room, and there were power-tool sounds for awhile—maybe about 15 minutes. He came back, put the brace back onto her, checked it again, and said it was great. He said a lot of times a brace needs more adjusting than that (they allow 1.5 hours for the appointment), but that this one had been particularly well made.

He then showed me how to put the brace onto Elizabeth and how to take it off of her. He put two sets of marks on the straps: one set for now, and the other set to gradually aim for once she’s used to wearing it on the looser setting. He went over the weaning-on instructions. I’m too lazy to go fetch them from the other room, but it’s something like: the first 4-5 days wear it 1-2 hours at a time for 4-6 hours total; the second 4-5 days wear it 2-4 hours at a time for 6-8 hours total; and so on. She only has to wear it 12 hours total per day even at maximum, and we are almost there now; yesterday she wore it for 8 hours in one session.

She can remove it herself, so what we’ve been doing is I put it onto her before she goes to school, and then mid-day she removes the brace and leaves it at the nurse’s office. Then, depending whether it’s a day she needs to bring her trumpet home, either I go mid-day to the school to pick up the brace, or else she picks it up from the nurse at the end of the day and brings it home. Now she’s able to wear the brace for the whole school day so we ought to be able to stop these daily figurings-out, except gym class is still messing us up.

(She might end up doing her 12 hours/day at night, but she is supposed to finish the weaning-on period before she starts trying to sleep in it. The tech said that especially with kids, we want to avoid disrupting sleep if possible.)

Elizabeth said I could show you what the brace looked like as long as I didn’t include her face:

Not too bad. She wears a special seamless tank top underneath it (the tank top has a built-in flap that goes between her underarm and higher side of the brace), and after the brace is in place she folds the bottom of the tank top up over the bottom of the brace. Then she wears a regular shirt over it, and if you didn’t know she was wearing the brace you wouldn’t guess it. I can’t even tell, except there’s a little bit of a bump at the back/bottom of her shirt.