I have a little task for you this weekend, if it’s something you feel like doing. I mean, it’s not like it’s HOMEWORK. You can be all, “Nah” if you want. But our AndreAnna and our Cass are starting a new cooking/recipes site called Chop. Stir. Mix., and they’re collecting recipes for it. EASY recipes, okay? Nobody wants to sit around clarifying and reducing all day. Or if they do, they are looking for information on some other site.

Elizabeth has been such a total CRAB PUFF recently. She’s always had an imperious streak, and that’s been amusing, but recently we are talking more about THIS action:

It starts with something relatively small. Perhaps she falls, or perhaps I criticize her tone of voice, or perhaps we’re out of applesauce. For whatever reason, she goes into a NUCLEAR CRAB. Nothing can stop it! Nothing! You can’t jolly her out of it. You can’t have her cry herself out of it. She wants to do one of two things:

1) Sit on your lap and be cuddled while she continues to sulk (and also drool, because when she’s in a Crab Fit she won’t swallow—WHY??).

2) Follow you from room to room, standing near you with her lip out so you know she’s still pissed off.

And do either of these things fix it? NO! All they do is reduce the volume of the attack.

She’s also giving us new sleep issues, getting out of her bed and banging on her door. What the heck? None of our other kids have done that. Rob, William, and Edward all acted as if the bed was a crib they couldn’t get out of without help. Elizabeth, though, has seen through the ruse. SHE is not physically bound by our words! Every night she falls asleep on the floor just inside her door.

Meanwhile, Edward is in a particular cute and pleasant stage, so Elizabeth suffers even more by comparison.

He came out of his room with a giraffe puppet on his hand, almost collapsing from laughter as he made the giraffe roar. Then he turned solicitous and said, worriedly, “That keer you, Mommy?” He’s been scared by loud sounds recently, so he is concerned I might have been overly startled by the roaring giraffe. And he’s saying “why” instead of “what,” so if I call him and he doesn’t hear me, he’ll say, “Why? Why, Mommy? You talk for me, Mommy?”

And on the other side of me: The Lip.

Is anyone else developing a little crush on Eric Case, whose picture is currently on the Blogger home page? Whooooo. Cute stuff. Hm, maybe people without Blogger don’t see it? I’d better steal his picture and put it here:

(image from blogger.com)

Speaking of adorable, your comments on yesterday’s Engaged to be Parentsed post have been SO GOOD! Elizabeth‘s “Oh! If I had known it was going to be YOU, I wouldn’t have worried” made me have to dab away tears on three separate occasions. Keep the comments coming: Erik and Anna haven’t cried uncle yet. Or rather AUNT! You get it? AUNT?

Also, I took down the post on what to do about the treat I signed up to bring to Rob’s class. I realized that using the name of my mother-in-law’s signature recipe on my secret blog was perhaps not my best idea ever. But I’m so, so glad I did, because you guys reminded me that there are no nuts allowed at school anyway! So I’m out of it! And now I just need to find those windmill cookies. And make Paul return the expensive ingredient to the store.

I had such a productive morning! I made three (3) batches of baby food (“carrot bean corn pea,” “broccoli plus half a bag of corn we’re never going to finish,” and “raspberry blackberry prune applesauce”), and I wiped Elizabeth’s nose one (1) zillion times. …Hm. Well, it FELT like a productive morning.

I’d like to devote today’s post to NAGGING.

My brother and my sister-in-law….. Wait. Let me give you their names so I don’t have to keep referring to them that way, and so you’re not thinking “Well, is this the woman married to her brother, or is this a sister of Paul’s?” but without me having to clarify by saying “my brother’s wife,” which, I don’t know, sounds a little funny. It reminds me of when my mother-in-law addresses my mail Mrs. Paul Thistle, like it’s to ANYONE married to Paul, it doesn’t really matter who it is.

AS I WAS SAYING, Erik and Anna are…”engaged to have a baby.” That is, they have decided to have one, but have not yet…”planted the tulip bulb,” if you follow me. There is still time to back away and actually plant actual tulips instead, and there are days I would fully support that decision and even chip in for the bulbs.

But here is what I am hoping we can discuss, since Erik and Anna read my blog, and since Erik has stopped answering my pleading, nagging, whining emails. Can we discuss how you felt before having children, and how you feel about those feelings now? Like, if you were scared before, but now think, “OH! If I’d known it was like this, I wouldn’t have been so nervous!” Or if you thought you didn’t really like children, but now you think “OMG I AM SO IN LUV W/THIS BABY!!1!”

(If you were confident before, but now think, “Actually, I should have gone with the tulips,” keep your pie-hole CLOSED. We are looking for NAGGING, not for UNBIASED SCIENTIFIC DATA COLLECTION.)

And can we also tell them to HURRY THE HECK UP and make Swistle an aunt? What are they WAITING for? Spring is HERE!

One thing I found impossible to imagine when I had a toddler and a newborn and was melting with despair because I wanted more children but didn’t see how I could POSSIBLY manage more when I was ALREADY at MAX CAPACITY for this crap—-one thing I found impossible to imagine, as I say, was that the toddler and newborn would be OLDER than the new siblings. I was imagining adding MORE OF THE SAME, daycare-style.

This morning I was already up to HERE with Henry’s angry fussing and it was only 7:45 in the morning. I was mashing him a banana and I wasn’t even engaging with him anymore because I was discouraged and also kind of crabby with him for being crabby so much recently.

And then Rob came in and said to Henry, “Oh! Are you SAD? Oh, no! Why?” Then he said to me, “Have you seen an ORANGE BALL around here?” I said I didn’t think so. He elaborated, showing me the ball’s approximate size and describing more accurately the shade of orange (“bright”). I again said I didn’t think so, and asked (a little impatiently, if truth must be told, but I don’t see why we need the WHOLE truth) why we were looking for this ball. He said, “It’s Henry’s FAVORITE.” I suggested it might be in the playroom and he went rocketing off, coming back with the ball. “HERE you go, Henry! Here’s your BALL! Your FAVORITE ball!”

Then Elizabeth came in, and because we once told her to go sing the ABC song to a crying Henry, she thinks that’s what she should do EVERY time, so she launched into a vigorous rendition, really DELIVERING that song, ballpark-style.

Then Rob said, “Oh, no WONDER! Your NOSE is running!” and went rocketing off again to get a kleenex, which he used to wipe Henry’s nose.

Then William came bouncing in to tell me that Edward was getting into trouble in the living room, and on his way out he offered Henry a bite of his cereal.

Hm. Reading this over, I see a story of CHAOS, not of happy and helpful sibling relationships. You will have to trust me: this is a reassuring story about happy and helpful sibling relationships.

Today at bedtime, Elizabeth thought she’d see what happened if she said “no.” Then she thought she’d see what happened if she said “No, I not ready!” Then she thought she’d see what happened if she added “No, YOU do it!”

And so I dealt with her for awhile, first the Training Session and then the Aftermath Snuggles. Then I discovered that while I’d been busy, one of our cats had hopped up onto the kitchen counter, eaten a big chunk of toppings off the leftover pizza, then hopped up ONTO THE TABLE and yorked it up there.

So how’s your weekend going?

I buy a lot of Elizabeth’s clothes at The Children’s Place. It fits Elizabeth well; most of it is made for play (the skirts are stretchy, and have attached shorts); and they use the same colors throughout so if you buy a dark pink shirt and a dark pink patterned skirt and dark pink socks, the dark pinks will all match—and it will be the same dark pink as in the shirt with a multicolored pink/blue/yellow/green flower on it. Mix-and-match = teh awesome.

ANYWAY. I like to wait until they have their “take an additional 30% off sale prices” end-of-season sales, and then I like to have a coupon, too. Which is why I keep my eye on pretty, pretty Mir, who has the scoop on coupons and free shipping deals: right now you get another 15% off if you use Mir’s code.

Sale-waiting is always a gamble, and right now I’m wondering Why oh why didn’t I buy this tiered skirt when I had the chance? I was too cheap to spend $9 (I wanted to wait for the additional 15%-off coupon), and now I bitterly, bitterly regret it! Now they only have it in 18 months and smaller. HEART SADNESS.

(this and all following images in this post are from childrensplace.com)

Well, into each life a little rain must fall.

Instead I bought these cute ruffle flare jeans, two pairs each of “pink” (they’re blue denim, but with a pinkish tint) and grey, $4.75 a pair baby!

And these cute hair bows in green and in pink for $.88 per pair! Not that Elizabeth will let me put them in her hair! But at least I can BUY them!

And some $3-ish shirts such as these from the baby girls section, for her to wear this year:

And a bunch of $3.50ish shirts such as these from the big girls section, for her to wear next year (she’s tall, so she’s currently in the biggest shirt size in the baby girl sizes):

And finally—OMG could you DIE?—I bought her this smocked daisy dress for $7.73:

So I’m happy, and of course I’m already second-guessing: Should I have gotten the daisy dress in yellow instead? or in black? or in pink AND in yellow? Or should I have bought the gingham dress instead? Should I have bought more of those jeans in larger sizes? Should I have bought the yoga pants, even though she does not do yoga per se?

Well, nothing says there can’t be a little rematch later on. If you buy anything, tell me what you get: I’m highly susceptible to your influence, and I think it’s fun to match.

Some things can make me feel like like the world is a bad place filled with bad people doing bad things, or STUPID people doing STUPID things, or some other combination of bad/stupid that makes me feel yucky and sad and maybe NOT like procreating—and perhaps that more than anything else gives you an idea of the DEPTH of the moods I’m talking about: that I would, however briefly, NOT WANT ANOTHER BABY.

Anyway. These are balanced by flashes of GOODNESS and AWESOMENESS that make me love people more. I had that kind of flash while watching a video Paul found: some guy took Google Earth and carefully lined up real photographs with the weird, flat-and-not-flat Google Earth images. I don’t know why I would find this so TOUCHING, and so indicative of the good of humankind, but I did. And so I will post the video here, in case it will give you that feeling too. People can be so GREAT. And so CREATIVE. And so CUTE.

[If you’re here from the future, the video was taken down so it no longer shows here.]

Monique sent me an email I thought we’d all want to pitch in on.

I’m 43 years old and just found out that I’m pregnant with our third child!!! Our youngest will be 10 by the time this one is born (I’m due at Thanksgiving) and our oldest will turn 15 in January.

My question is, where or what are the best resources right now? It’s been so long since I’ve been pregnant that I don’t know where to look. I greatly enjoyed “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” the first time around. How is that for now? Anything better?

What should I be eating? or not eating? what about diet soda? I drink a lot of water when I’m pregnant, and I gave up diet soda for the last two, but I’m having a much harder time staying away this time around.

I haven’t been to my doctor yet and probably won’t until later in April — He’s hard to get an appointment with at first, but then it’s easy.

We got rid of all the baby stuff when we moved 5 years ago, so we’re going to need everything. Any recommendations? Keeping in mind we’re on a pretty tight budget so many things will be second hand. Besides car seats, what should never be second hand? We will be having a large baby shower, but who knows what that will bring?

So, help! If you’d like.

Spill it, everyone! Powers of the Internet—ACTIVATE!

Some people find they can “Sleep now, because you won’t after the baby’s here!” Some people find their sleep batteries don’t work that way.

Some people have labors that are empowering and make them wonder why other women make such a fuss about it. Some people have labors that bring them to a crisis of faith about human design, because the Eve thing is insufficient explanation for this crap. Some people have labors that give them reason to be grateful for advances in medical science.

Some people will fall in love with their newborns instantly, on sight. Some people are fascinated right away, but not in love for a few days or weeks. Some people don’t fall in love for months.

Some people get the agreeable, laid-back kind of baby. Some people get the colicky, crabby kind of baby. Some people get the angry, opinionated kind of baby. Some people get the happy, bossy kind of baby. Some people get the whiny, fearful kind of baby. Some people get the early-developing, adventurous kind of baby. Some people get the irritable, rule-following kind of baby. Nobody should take much credit or much blame for their allotted baby.

Some people will get babies who will cooperate with the baby-wrangling system the parents have chosen. Some people will get babies who require a re-evaluation of system requirements.

Some people find they can “Appreciate every moment!” Some people find they can only appreciate it later, looking back on it, when they’re well-rested and well-dressed and fuzzy-memoried, standing in a supermarket telling a stranger to appreciate every moment.

Some people think the newborn stage is the best. Some people don’t really like babies until they reach the less-shriveled stage around 2 or 3 months. Some people don’t really like babies until they’re not babies anymore.

Some people find that the impact of children on their lives is so severe, they need to warn the world how bad it can be. Some people find that the impact of children on their lives is so wonderful, they need to tell the world how amazing it can be. Some people find themselves confused about what exactly it is they want to tell the world.

Some people find that a new baby brings them closer to each other. Some people find that a new baby makes them feel like killing each other for chewing so loud.

Some people will find breastfeeding natural and easy. Some people will find it painful and difficult. Some people will find it a little from Column A, a little from Column B. Some people won’t do it at all, for various reasons that there is absolutely no reason for anyone else to inquire about.

Some people will find that breastfeeding melts the baby weight RIGHT OFF. Some people will find that they can’t lose the last pounds until after the baby is weaned. Some people will never lose their baby weight. Some people will gain weight for other reasons and will blame it on the baby.

Some people will find night feedings a chore, but not too bad. Some people will feel like leaping off a cliff. Either way, the child eventually sleeps through the night. Or grows up and leaves home.

Some people find a well of patience they never knew they had. Some people find a well of love they never knew they had. Some people find a well of rage they never knew they had. Some people get a grab-bag and never know what kind of day it’s going to be.

Some people will be done after one child. Some people will be done after two children. Some people will be done after three, or four, or five, or six children. Some people will never be done. Some people will not be able to understand that different people want different numbers.

Some people say a lot of stuff about how they plan to bring up children, and then later they find they have to take a lot of it back. Some people notice this happening to other people, and are careful not to talk too much about their plans.

Some people will have listened mostly to talk about how beautiful and magical and fulfilling the child-rearing experience is. They will be in for a surprise. Some people will have listened mostly to talk about how horrible and barfy and crazy-making the child-rearing experience is. They will be in for a surprise.

I have some questions for you. At first you might think I am copying Black Sheeped‘s Friday questions (and by the way, have you noticed she’s moved to a new url?), but you see, HERS are fun questions about YOU, whereas MINE involve information I need to extract from your brains for my own personal benefit. If you know the answers to any of these, GIVE IT.

1) How much do braces cost these days? Rob has a significant overbite. I’m hoping some of you have kids in braces now and can give me an idea of financial planning here. I guess braces cost more for some situations than for others, but even a RANGE would be helpful. And also: I keep hearing that orthodontists are now doing “pre-braces” work for thousands of dollars in addition to the thousands of dollars braces already cost, but I don’t get it. I don’t need the 100% Most Excellent of Possible Excellence here, I just want his teeth straightened like I had mine straightened: wait for the 12-year molars to come in, then put braces on the teeth THE END. I don’t want to add years to the process, though I can certainly see why the orthodontists would.

2) What’s good for removing candle soot? My nice scented candles have turned on me; it seems like it was all of a sudden, but actually we’ve been noticing little smudgies for weeks and just hadn’t connected it to the candles. The soot is kind of greasy (or, duh, probably WAXY) and it’s in a fine layer on the plastic high chair, the white-painted cupboards, the plastic chairs and plastic toys, even the plastic cups that were in the cupboard. Candle smoke must be particularly attracted to plastic? Or maybe particularly visible on plastic?

3) Do those candle warmers really work? Do they use up the scent faster or slower than if you burn the candle the regular way? Do they spread out the scent as well as burning does? Are you then left with a scentless candle at the end? I have several huge boxes of scented candles that I bought to make myself feel happier, and now I am feeling LESS HAPPY IN RE THEM.

4) How do I make my blog post titles clickable? [Edit: I THINK Paul has fixed this for me. Let’s see, now, if it breaks something else on the site.] My Swistle: Baby Names site has this: you can click the title of any post and it takes you to that post’s own url, with the comments shown underneath it. My main Swistle site does not. WT? I’ve been through all the settings and can’t see where this would be.