Today at “Work It, Mom” I’m answering the following questions:

• Are you and Linda S. the same person?
• Where are the cute Target earrings??
• Are these your kids’ real names now, or still the pseudonyms you use on your Swistle blog?
• You are so pretty! I thought you’d be fatter!
• Is your mother-in-law going to find you online now?
• How did you come up with the name “Swistle”?
• Is it okay if I still call you Swistle?

This week is Teacher Appreciation Week. William’s school is having a Teacher Appreciation Breakfast. Some parents are sending muffins, some are sending juice or fruit or bagels or quiche; some are sending plates, napkins, or plastic flatware. It is a huge effort requiring many people’s involvement and a ton of organization, emails, and phone calls. And what does it give the teachers? They don’t have to make their own toast/cereal. For one morning.

It seems to me there are better and more efficient ways to show appreciation to teachers.

For starters, we could pay them as if their jobs involved SHAPING CHILDREN’S ENTIRE FUTURES.

We could follow up by agreeing to NEVER SAY AGAIN, “Oh, you’re a teacher? Must be nice to get out at 3:00 and have your summers off!”

We could vote, when given the opportunity to do so, for more educational funding. It is a good value—unlike some of the other things our taxes are paying for.

We could offer to help out. If we can’t go in during the day, or if we’d rather have a thousand never-healing paper cuts than serve on the PTA, we can offer what we CAN do: sending stuff in for bake sales or parties, purchasing an item for the classroom, donating scrap paper from the office, arranging a class field trip tour of our super-amazing workplace chocolate factory, whatevs.

We could acknowledge that most parents consider their own children to be above average, and that statistically-speaking we can’t all be right.

We could occasionally send in something when it’s NOT Teacher Appreciation Week. A little baggie of wrapped dark chocolates, maybe. A small bag of gourmet popcorn. Or, sure, an apple.

We could send our kids to school with a good night’s sleep and a good breakfast—at least to the best of our ability (some of the little buggers fight us every step of the way).

We could write an occasional note telling teachers how much we appreciate the work they do. Mention a specific thing you noticed, or mention something general. Mention something flattering your kid said about the teacher. Mention how much you liked this month’s newsletter. It can feel awkward to write a note to someone you’ve met only twice all year, but that’s okay: the teacher is not expecting Shakespeare from you, nor is the teacher going to grade your penmanship.

I am grateful for teachers every time I put my older two kids on the bus and wave good-bye with an insultingly-large grin on my face. I am grateful for teachers whenever I babysit someone else’s kids for a few hours (and all I’m doing is keeping those kids ALIVE, not trying to TEACH them anything). I am grateful for teachers during every school vacation. I am grateful for teachers every time my kids come home with some new information and I think, “Oh yeah! I forgot to tell them about that!”

I don’t think we can say enough nice things about people who, year after year, take a fresh group of TWO DOZEN children belonging to OTHER PEOPLE, children who will NOT EVEN BE CARING FOR THEM IN THEIR OLD AGE, and try to improve the quality of their lives. Thanks, teachers! Super-big MWAH.

I am sorry to say that my planned Pity Prize Contest (for people who were ineligible for the name or photo contests because of already knowing my name or what I looked like) is not going to work. I know! So sad! But I tried it a number of different ways and couldn’t get it to work right. So it’s off. What a terrible tease! And as a group, you Pity-Prize-eligible people were so pitiful already!

BUT! I have something else we can all do if, like me, you are still kind of hepped up on contests. Our Shannon is doing a fundraising raffle for Preeclampsia Awareness Month, which is THIS month so the timing is just excellent! You can go over to her post to get the details on how to enter the raffle, but look at the PRIZE:

There are better/larger/more photos on Shannon’s blog. It’s a HANDMADE QUILT. I LOVE those colors and fabrics! I have already entered to win, so you are going to have competition if you want it too.

Don’t be shy when the Preeclampsia site seems to imply that the minimum donation is $25: click “other” and enter whatever you want. I myself donated significantly less than $25. I imagine you could donate $3, and that would still put the Preeclampsia cause ahead of where it was without you, plus it gets you three chances at the quilt.

And I will add another prize to the raffle. After Shannon draws for the quilt winner, she’ll send the names to me and I’ll draw another winner for your choice of:

A) my favorite baby name book, or
B) one gruesome or mommish mystery book, or
C) cookies or fudge or brownies

Do you know, you could do NO WRONG with your guesses on the Photo Contest.

If you guessed me, I was astounded by your near-psychic abilities. If you guessed someone else, I thought, “Well, how could anyone know? It’s a shot in the dark!” If you were uncertain and you waffled a little, I felt a warm kinship with you: I always want a back-up guess, too, or at least I want to make it clear I KNEW I didn’t know for sure. If you were confident, I admired your confidence—even if you were WRONG.

I do wonder now if A and I (I mean, the A photo and I-the-Swistle, not I-the-photo-designation) are related somehow. Several of you thought I should inquire if she were in fact the true genetic mother of my children, and I’ll get right on that after I finish with the contest stuff. Also, I’m going to ask her about her glasses, because I notice everyone’s glasses were cooler than mine.

Okay! The winners! There were 208 entries total:

A: 54 votes, roughly 26%
B: 0 votes
C: 12 votes, roughly 6%
D: 5 votes, roughly 2%
E: 8 votes, roughly 4%
F: 6 votes, roughly 3%
G: 11 votes, roughly 5%
H: 61 votes, roughly 29%
I: 2 votes, roughly 1%
J: 40 votes, roughly 19%
K: 5 votes, roughly 2%
L: 3 votes, roughly 1%
M: 1 vote, roughly 0%

Fun fact: B, who got FEWER VOTES THAN DREW BARRYMORE, is the only person in the line-up who’s a blood relative of mine!

I lined up those 61 correct H guesses and used a random number generator to select the winner. The random number generator chose Banana. Yay, Banana! You win a Swistle Package containing a treat of your choice (fudge is probably most durable in the mail, but I can also do brownies or cookies), plus your choice of a book: either a baby names book or a gruesome/mommish mystery book, and perhaps some assorted junk I find around the house other thing. Email me at swistle at gmail dot com with mailing info and choices.

Honorable mention:

BRash, who made the big photo clump that was such a huge improvement over the lonnnnnnng column of photos I did. Thanks, Bethany—it was WAY better that way.

Marilyn C. Cole, who called my skin “luminous.” (I love you, Marilyn.)

Susan, who was so certain of her (correct) guess, she had to come back and do a second comment to tell me how sure she was. Good call on the lipstick, Susan!

Jonniker who KNEW IT IN HER VERY SOUL (and was right!).

Emblita, who cleverly noticed that several of the others looked “corporate.” Well-spotted, Emblita! Several of the others WERE IN FACT corporate!

Linda who said I “seriously look 16 years old.” Why, thank you, Linda! I believe it might be my LUMINOUS SKIN.

Drowning in Laundry who remembered I had a double cowlick (!) and saw it in the photo (!!) and told me to go eat some brownies (OKAY!!!). It took me SO LONG to get a picture that made it look like I should go eat some brownies. Artful posing. Many, many self-portraits, experimenting with which angles made me look cuter and which ones highlighted my lowlights.

Banana, who also noticed the double cowlick. Seriously, you people are SO OBSERVANT.

Cari, who said it was “the porcelain skin of a goddess” that gave me away. Keep talking, Cari!

Fine for Now, who did THIS:

OMG, this is so hard! Okay, based on the pictures of your children I think that you could be (in no particular order) A, C, E, F, H, J & K.

Same chin as kids: A, C, E, F, H
Same eye shape as kids: A, C, E, F, J, K
Same coloring as kids: E, F, H, K
Similar teeth as kids: A, E, K
Similar nose as kids: A, C, E, F, H

Based on this, similarities appear in picture:

A = 4x’s
C = 3x’s
E = 5x’s
F = 4x’s
H = 3x’s
J = 1x
K = 4x’s

Through gut feeling alone I think you are probably E, H, or K and based on your descriptions alone I would go with C, H, or J.

Most people are voting for A, and H, with J the third most.

I am going to go with E, because of the skin color, chin, nose, eyes and teeth.

:o)

Can you believe the EXHAUSTIVE RESEARCH? I really WANTED you to be right, Fine for Now! I even wondered briefly if you WERE right: you had proved it so scientifically, perhaps I was E!

…Huh. It looks like mostly I gave honorable mentions for kissing up. This is only going to encourage you to kiss up the next time we have a contest. OH WHAT A PITY.

Well! Time for Name Contest results! (Has everyone figured out that the words “Contests over!” in this post are a LINK that leads to the answers? Good!)

You should see my SPREADSHEET. One hundred and eight-six rows! EIGHT columns: commenter, date/time of comment (so I could easily find each one later), five columns for guesses, and a column for notes I wanted to make to myself. This would be awesome if I knew what to do with a spreadsheet other than entering the data into it. I tried to make some sort of chart that would show the clumping of name guesses, but it kept telling me I didn’t have enough data, and I kept saying, “I have NINE HUNDRED AND THIRTY names! How much data do you NEED?”

Anyway. Of all those 186 sets of guesses, only ONE PERSON guessed (1) my name (2) in its correct spelling (3) in the first-guess position. El-e-e, my girl, GOOD GUESS! El-e-e wins the grand prize, which is this bag by Amy Quarry, whose gallery and online shop make grown women weep and wish to move to Canada.

This bag is not available in Amy’s online shop. If it had been, I would have gotten there first and bought it right out from under you before you even knew it existed. Now I have to make a new plan, involving befriending El-e-e and then stealing her purse. Congratulations, El-e-e, and thank you again, Amy, for that super prize.

There was one person who guessed the correct spelling in the second-choice slot, and there were two people who guessed the close-but-not-quite spelling “Kristin” in the first-choice slot. Those three people tie for first prize; yay, Kelsey, Barb, and Semi-Desperate Housewife!

Because Kelsey also had my middle name (Nicole) among her guesses, she wins the personalized name doily donated by ktjrdn from her Etsy shop Crocheted by Katie. Here’s a sample so you can drool, but Kelsey will get to choose what name she wants:

Thank you, Katie! What a great prize!

Barb wins win a Swistle Package of a treat of your choice (fudge is probably most durable in the mail, but I can also do brownies or cookies), plus your choice of a baby names book or a gruesome/mommish mystery book, and perhaps some assorted junk I find around the house other thing.

Semi-Desperate Housewife wins a teensy Swistle Care Package (treat or book) and the elephant onesie Elizabeth donated from her Etsy shop Elephant Ears. Oh it is so cute! Take a peek:

Thank you, Elizabeth! It’s darling!

There were 14 people who guessed either “Kristen” or “Kristin” in the third-, fourth-, or fifth-guess positions:

1. Andrea
   
2. Melissa
3. ElizasMom
4. -R-
5. Five Froggies
6. Erin of the April 29th, 12:35 p.m. comment
7. Linda
8. Betty M
9. Pseudostoops
10. Jeff
11. Emily of the April 30th, 2:04 p.m. comment
12. Maggie
13. Shoeaddict
14. Lettie

Fourteen! Linda and Emily also guessed my middle name, so they win the two remaining prizes. I wrote names/prizes on scraps of paper and paired them randomly.

Emily wins a single card of her choice from Courtney‘s Etsy shop A is for Beautiful. Oooo, I like this one:

Thank you again, Courtney!

Linda wins the hair button from Mrs. M‘s Etsy shop La La Lollipop. This is the pink gingham fabric Mrs. M used for Elizabeth’s:

Thanks, Mrs. M!

All winners, will you please email me at swistle at gmail dot com, and I’ll get you connected with the awesome people who donated prizes. Thank you so much, Katie and Courtney and Amy and Elizabeth and Mrs. M!

Coming soon: photo contest winners!

Contests over! (
Now. I am going to have a little lie-down (this has been an Exciting Week), and then I am going to figure out who WON.

Also: psych! Because you totally thought this was the End Of Contest post, didn’t you? Not QUITE yet—but soon!

Total cutie Mrs. M is donating a hair button from her Etsy shop La La Lollipop (I like to say that name!). She sent me a pair of teeny hair buttons for Elizabeth, and they are SO CUTE: monogrammed, fabric-covered buttons attached to a hair elastic so it can be worn as a ponytail holder. EVERYTHING Mrs. M does is SO CUTE, and she’s big into monogramming, and I LOVE personalized things. (If we lived closer, I would TOTALLY have her monogram my dishes for me.)

Here’s a sample of a hair button, though of course you would choose your own fabric and initials:

Thanks, Mrs. M!

Reminder! The contests end Friday morning, May 2nd, U.S.A. time. Because I can’t be more specific about the time (there are mornings when I get to my computer pretty quick, and there are mornings I have to dig myself out of a household of wet sheets and spilled cereal and children who must be bathed immediately), it would be smart to think of tonight as the deadline. Don’t dally! The minute I post on Friday morning, any comments that come in after that time won’t be entered in the contests.

(I briefly posted the Pity Prize Contest, then realized that the comments for that one were nearly guaranteed to give hints about what my name was, or wasn’t. I’ll re-post that contest sometime after the others are over.)

There is now ANOTHER prize! Dearest Elizabeth is donating an elephant onesie (that’s decorated with an elephant, not made for an elephant) from her Etsy shop Elephant Ears—and if you want something from that shop, you better get it before I do, because I’m mulling over a few things right now. Maybe one of those jingling fabric toys (I like the one in pink/yellow/green). Maybe a vintage-style baby bib (my favorite is the Alexander Henry Kleo). Oooo, or wouldn’t a coordinating fabric toy and bib make a great baby gift? I’d get it in “Michael Miller Disco Dots,” which reminds me of my boyfriend Target. I’m also kind of hankering after (or is it “hankering for“?) (or is it “have a hankering after/for”?) (or is it “not using words unless you know how to use them in a sentence”?) the vintage items like the floral juice bottle.

Oh, were we talking about something for YOU? Here’s a picture of the elephant onesie you might win:

This is the girlish one, but you could also choose a boyish or neutral one. Elizabeth has sizes from 0-3 months up to 9-12 months.

Is this some of the most fun I have ever had in my entire life? (Answer: YES.)

There is ANOTHER NEW PRIZE! Amy Quarry is donating this spectacular creature, which she made with her own two hands:

Amy has an online shop where you can buy some of her cool stuff (I like the Mod Graphic small handbag and the Little Birdy wall quilt the best), but you really have to visit her gallery for general salivating over projects past and present.

Now I am trying to figure out a way to enter my own contest, then act all suave about winning it. “My, what a coincidence!,” I’ll say. “How embarrassing!” Then I’ll flounce off with the handbag, leaving a trail of envy in my wake.

Thank you, Amy! MWAH!

Darling girl Courtney has donated another prize for the contest: your choice of one of the individually-sold handmade cards on her Etsy shop A is for Beautiful (that is such a cool name).

I am of course drawn immediately to the baby cards. This one is my favorite:

She also has cards for weddings, birthdays, holidays, encouragement, thank-yous, the whole works! Made by hand but less expensive than Hallmark! (Raise your prices a little, Courtney!)

Thank you, Courtney! MWAH!