I have Do They Know It’s Christmas? stuck in my head, and you’re welcome. (You should watch it if only to admire Hottt 1984 Era Sting, who is looking pretty cute in that video especially compared to the boys who were under the influence not only of Earnest Face but also of certain unfortunate hair trends.)

I remember hearing this song in…let’s see, how old was I? It came out when I was in middle school, but I don’t remember hearing it until high school: I went to a religious middle school where even Christian rock was frowned upon, and when I say “frowned upon” I mean “actively campaigned against by the teachers, with guest lectures about how we could tell the devil was directly involved by listening to the particular type of beat.” (I listened to my Michael W. Smith album anyway, which, now that I’ve thought of this, finally gives me a good answer to the question about why I ended up Leaving the Flock. “It was the beat, the beat, the crazy devil-worshiping BEAT of ‘Old Enough to Know’!!”)

So anyway, I heard “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” when I was at the public high school, probably while walking to school listening to my WALKMAN, which played CASSETTES I made by recording songs off the radio. And I remember hearing “And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmastime…” and thinking, “Yeah, but….I mean, snow isn’t really the issue, is it? There are areas of the United States that don’t get snow at Christmastime either. And actually, for people who don’t even have enough clothes and food, that’s probably GOOD to not have snow and cold and ice.” I also remember trying to understand why the singers seemed to want to know the answer to the question of the title. Do they…”know” it’s Christmas? Why? Would that make a difference? Should we…tell them? Like, just in case? (None of this stopped me from listening to it 40 billion times.)

As an adult I get what they were trying to do (i.e., “Get in on the ’80s Group Empathy Rock trend”), but “the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom” seems comically over-the-top (why would impoverished people spend money on clanging chimes of doom?), and I’m not sure the songwriter’s suggestion to the listener (i.e., thanking God it’s them instead of you) will solve the problem as it’s been presented. The second solution, “Feed the world,” is somewhat better, but lacks instructions for practical application: okay, I have some food, I’m standing in the world….now what?

Such a perplexing song. To hear it you’d think the main issues in Africa (which, incidentally, is kind of a big place, and my geography knowledge has always been a little shaky but I’ll bet it isn’t COMPLETELY without rain or rivers ANYWHERE) were (1) They don’t get snow at Christmastime, (2) They don’t know it’s Christmas, and (3) Bells of doom keep clanging.

May I suggest that if Shelly Overlook has a contest, you enter? She said “gift from Disney World” and I pictured…key ring? Instead, look:

RIGHT?? There is:

1. a 2010 Minnie Mouse holiday pin that looks like an ornament (which I plan to use as an ACTUAL ornament—how’s THAT for mind-twisting?)

2. a bag of Goofy sour gummy worms

3. a TAPESTRY THROW FTLOG

4. and, my favorite, a green handbag with a bow on it, and I wish you could see it with the lining, which is purple argyle (you can see a glimpse of the purple color peeking out under the bow)

You are so jealous right now.

PSA time. It seems there are two major misconceptions about the flu vaccine:

1. That it prevents all strains of flu, and without fail. (It’s a concoction based on the strains predicted most likely to appear that year, and the vaccine won’t work for every single person even if the predicted flu strains are correct.)

2. That it prevents “stomach flu.” (“The flu,” short for influenza, is respiratory. “Stomach flu” is not influenza at all, so the vaccine doesn’t prevent it. I don’t know why it’s called flu, because it isn’t.)

Now you know. *musical trill*

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New gift idea posts at Milk and Cookies:

1. Non-toy gift ideas for children.

2. Gift ideas for 9-12-year-old boys. I mean, are they impossible to buy for OR WHAT?

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My littler children had gingerbread houses and milk for breakfast. WHAT?

I love my new coat. I love my new coat SO MUCH. I love my new coat SO MUCH that I am poised to do an uncompensated infomercial for it, right here and right now.

My old winter coat is a Perfectly Good Coat. It’s from L.L. Bean and I got it on one of their really good clearances a number of years ago. It is a color of green I really like (the bright, leafy color—I think the color name was in fact “leaf”). It’s polyester-fill or whatever, and the outer surface is a nice-feeling one. But it is really more of a Late Fall Coat. At the bus stop every morning I freeze my bees.

Perhaps you have noticed that a good warm winter coat is EXPENSIVE. And that this is not a good time of year for a big cash outlay. And I totally hear you, and so if you don’t have the money to spend right now, perhaps you should look away because I am about to say something like “MORTGAGE YOUR HOME AND RENT OUT YOUR CHILDREN TO BUY THIS COAT,” and that would be SO disheartening if you’d already mortgaged your home and rented out your children for some OTHER purchase.

Anyway, I felt discouraged by the project of finding a coat, but I finally hit my coldness limit. I went to Lands’ End because I had a coupon, which I will give to you in the hopes that it will work (are these one-time use? here’s one I haven’t used: promotion code SANTA40 and pin #4517, but you can also just go to LandsEnd.com and I think you’ll see the offer in a big box on the home page), for 40% off one item, plus free shipping. And here was my basic search process: click Women’s, click Plus-Size, click Outerwear, click Down. I knew I wanted down instead of polyester this time, because one of the kids has a down jacket ($23 on clearance at Marshalls) and I’m jealous every time I put it on him.

Then I hit a snag in my search process because there were still a lot of options. I dithered around awhile. I figured out gradually that “jacket” means hip-length, “parka” means it covers the buttular region, and “long” means “I will feel trapped, like in a nightgown.” And then I shopped by color, because I look like the wrath of Target in black and brown, and white is way too optimistic, and grey is a good color on me but also makes me feel like it isn’t much fun to be spending so much money on a new coat. That brought me down to two choices, and I showed them to Paul and he made a little scoffing noise and said “Definitely that one. The other one is just ‘a coat,’ but this one is cute.” That’s right: I got a man to give a considered opinion about a piece of women’s clothing. Plus, he chose the significantly more expensive one.

Here it is, My Coat:

(this is a screenshot yoinked right from Lands’ End,
and that link I just made goes directly to that product)

(If you read me in a feed reader, you should really click through to see how close the coat color is to the color of my blog background.)

Here are the things that worried me, before ordering:

1. I haaaaaaaate fake fur. (I don’t mean I hate it on OTHER PEOPLE: for example, I think it’s quite cute on the model. I mean I hate it on ME.) I think it’s ugly: ugly color, ugly texture, not good with my coloring, gets all matted and icky, looks weird with my glasses. Plus it tickles and bothers me. But the description said the hood was removable, and I’m not accustomed to wearing a hood anyway so that should be fine.

2. Sometimes L.L. Bean and Lands’ End clothing is a little BOXY for me—like it’s made for a different body type. Maybe the cut wouldn’t flatter. But it LOOKED good: the waist seems to nip in.

3. I am QUITE pear-shaped, and so an item of clothing that is supposed to cover both the upper and lower pear regions doesn’t always work: it can be loose to the point of falling OFF me on top and be too tight down below. I wanted the parka length, but would it be too snug in the Lower Pear Quadrant?

4. I loved the color on the model, but would I be sorry I hadn’t gone for something more subdued and practical?

The coat arrived yesterday and I put it on and there is nothing but joy and love and little ladybugs flitting around singing songs of warmth and etc.

1. I had not sufficiently read the description: the fake fur is itself also removable. (If you read the description yourself, you are going to wonder how I possibly missed it, since it’s mentioned about three times. My only excuse is that I was stressed about coat selection, and also I kept thinking, “Yeah, yeah, I know the hood is removable”—without realizing it was talking about the TRIM.) So I have a hood, which is wonnnnnnnnderful and how was I surviving without a hood before? and with NO FAKE FUR. I wish I’d put this as #4 because it was the last thing I discovered and so the correct order of events is FIRST glorying in the coat and even coming to terms with the fake fur, and THEN thinking, “Hey, what is this little….is this a ZIPPER???” and having the heavens open up and the ladybugs start their joyous flitting.

2. The fit is GREAT. I think it’s quite flattering—as flattering as a warm winter coat can be, anyway. I feel CUTE. And sometimes a winter coat can make me feel HUGE, so this is a very pleasant feeling.

3. Lower Pear Quadrant worries were unfounded: not too snug in the buttular region, and not too big on top, either. I suspect this coat might in fact be designed for Pears.

4. THE COLOR, I LOVE THE COLOR SO MUCH. I’m so glad I went for it even though it’s a little Dramatic. I did the same with my previous coat (bought the bright leaf-green even though it seemed a bit STAND-OUT) and was happy with it every time I wore it, and it’s the same with this coat. Plus, how cute is it going to look with my hot-pink gloves?? SO CUTE!!

Additional note: 5. I was worried when I first took it out of the box because it seemed so THIN and LIGHT compared with my polyester coat. But I wore it to the bus stop and it was so warmmmmmmmmmmm. I’d forgotten my gloves but my hands were totally warm just in the pockets, which are lined with this super-soft comfy fleecey stuff. The neck of the coat comes up to scarf-height. I stood there thinking, “This is such a light coat, and yet I am not even FEELING this freezing breeze!!”

Let us turn to the subject of price. Ack, right? I have never spent $139.50 on a coat (they have it in non-plus-size, too, for $129.50). And I didn’t this time, either, because I had the 40% off coupon. Still, it was $83.70 ($77.70 for non-plus-size), and that is not change you find in the couch. But right now I am VERY HAPPY with that price.

[Edit: It seems to be sold out in every color but ivory now, but there are more colors in the jacket-length.]

It is ON: here’s the Tassimo review, with Tassimo giveaway [link removed because review blog no longer exists]. The Tassimo peeps say that if we do this FAST, they might be able to ship the winner’s Tassimo by Christmas, so I’ll take entries until this Sunday at 5:00 p.m. U.S. Pacific, so the winner’s address can be ready for Monday morning. WHEEEEEE!!! Free Tassimo!!!! (No, this is not why I’m up at 4:30 in the morning WHY DO YOU ASK.)

(Comment on the entry linked to above, not on this one.)

So. Now I have a UTI, PMS, and a cold, AND the “check engine” light is on in the minivan, AND something is amiss with Rob’s orthodontic appliance. You would think I would be a bit cranky. And yet I am not, and it’s because I have had a lot–A LOT–of coffee: yesterday a Tassimo arrived for me to review, and I am data-collecting with all my might. Later my mom is coming over so we can try the fancy kind that makes coffee AND frothy milk. AND I will have a Tassimo to give away, and I’ve emailed Tassimo to find out if there’s any way it can be done by Christmas, so anyway my adrenaline about that and my caffeine content are both high. And also, this might be a poor time to let posts languish in your feed reader, because if I hear back that they CAN ship it in time for Christmas, I’ll be doing the review FAST with a very short giveaway-entry time. I’ll be sure to mention it here and also on Twitter.

In the meantime, Pseudostoops continues her charity-a-day with a post about The Women’s Treatment Center. If you click through and leave a comment, she’ll increase her donation by another 50 cents and you get to feel like you did something good.

I find these Santa gift boxes disturbing. Very disturbing. Possibly disturbing enough to buy.

Open up Santa’s belt to find your special gift.

I am having a drops IN the bucket! IN!! kind of day. It started pretty well, because Paul had a little extra time before work and used it to CLEAN UP THE DISHES. I’ll just let that soak in for a minute. (1) He had a little extra time before work. (2) So he used it to clean up the dishes. I KNOW.

ANYWAY. Then I was looking at the calendar, and I made the mistake of looking at the days ahead (NEVER LOOK AT THE DAYS AHEAD) and it was like looking down a long corridor of obligations. Ice cream cones to school with Edward! Graham crackers with Elizabeth! Graham crackers and a thing of frosting and a foil-covered 12×12 piece of cardboard with Rob! Send in mugs for a party, but not breakable ones! Put out gift for mail carrier! Last day to send cards to arrive by Christmas!

And then my eye fell naturally on my Holiday Card Station at the dining room table. I did some cards last weekend, but there are still many, many more to go.

And then my eye fell on the supplies for the gingerbread houses, and OMG when are we going to do those?

And then things went downhill from there. Walking into the living room I realized we should probably throw out the carpet rather than try to vacuum the glitter out of it. And the laundry has slipped AGAIN—it’s like I can only make myself work on it if it’s at Code Red levels and children are telling me half an hour before school that they have no pants. And I have so many posts to work on. And I’m behind on email to such an extent, even the flagged ones are getting scrolled out of view and forgotten. And there are piles of clutter everywhere, INSURMOUNTABLE PILES OF CLUTTER, and dust and dirt and crumbs and small toys under all the furniture, and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Well.

It didn’t SEEM like it would help, but I TRIED working on some of these things. First I did a baby name post, one that really needed to be done and was also fun because it involved names for a Christmas baby. I told the children that the fewer times they interrupted me as I worked on this, the sooner we could build gingerbread houses—and that if they interrupted me too many times, I would get too frustrated to be able to work on houses. So they interrupted me only maybe 10 times in half an hour, what good children.

As an aside, I came up with a new technique for, I hope, reducing interruptions: when I have to get up to help one child, I ask if anyone else has anything they need. Sometimes this means I avoid the extreme frustration of jusssst sitting back down before another child asks me for something; sometimes this means I am even MORE frustrated because it happens ANYWAY.

So I finished my post, I brought up the load of laundry from the dryer so I’d see it later and remember to fold it, and I started the washer re-washing the load of laundry that had gotten stale. And the kids and I assembled the gingerbread houses. And OH, what a massive relief after last time! In fact, I was GLAD for last time (and said so to the children), because if we’d started out doing it the way we did it this time, I would have been complaining about how messy and sticky and tricky it was, but since we tried it the OTHER way first, THIS time I was practically CHORTLING at how EASY and AWESOME and LIKE MAGIC it was. Thanks go to Barb @ getupandplay for her idea of using molten sugar (put granulated sugar in a pan and stir it over medium-high heat until it turns into super-hot syrup; try not to burn it like I did; return it to low heat when it gets too thick to use), and to Carmen for mentioning on Twitter that it WORKED.

Dip the cracker edges into the pan of extremely hot sugar, then stick them together and hold them in place for a few seconds. Then put them on a cookie sheet to cool/dry.

Village!

It took a little practice to get the sugar right: first too thin, then too thick as it cooled, then too thin when I re-heated it. You can see the “too thin” (drips) on some of the houses (the ones I put in FRONT, nice going). But they STUCK TOGETHER and THAT is the important part! Also, next time this’ll be way easier: I won’t burn the sugar to begin with (by not knowing when to STOP melting it), and then I’ll put it on low heat so it won’t thicken.

We used two full boxes of graham crackers (only a few broken ones in the box this time, fortunately), and may I recommend NOT using low-fat, despite the fact that I have nowhere near enough data here for a statistical analysis and might have just gotten a box the stocker dropped? We first used a box of regular ones, and then used the box of low-fat ones I’d bought because the store had no more regular ones, and there was a HUGE difference. With the regular ones, we didn’t have a single cracker break during the construction process; with the low-fat ones, ten or so broke while I was holding structures together waiting for them to cool, and that could have been QUITE FRUSTRATING if I hadn’t been bolstered by many recent successes.

Then I told the children that we would “wait for the houses to dry” (they don’t really need waiting when you make them like this, but I felt project-with-children’d out), and that we’d decorate them another day, and I folded the laundry, and I put the now-done washer load into the dryer and started a new washer load. I also picked up the letter magnet that has been sitting by the cats’ water dish for long enough to have acquired a film of stickiness and fuzz, and I washed it off and put it on the fridge.

Then I put on the dumbest cartoon I have EVER SEEN (Mario Bros.) for the kids, wrote this post, and next I think I will write a few cards before the mail comes, even if it’s just two cards. Drops. IN.

[Follow-up: This high of getting! things! done! lasted about 5 minutes, until I went to the kitchen to make the kids’ lunch and had to first put dishes into the dishwasher because gingerbread houses were on my work counter and breakfast dishes were on the other counter, and then I found that Paul had put nearly-clean pans (like, just needed a quick swish) and my metal-trimmed (not dishwasher-safe) china into the dishwasher, and then I saw the empty juice pitcher and realized we needed juice before kindergarten, and then made the juice and found that Edward had never taken his juice bottle out of his backpack the day before which meant I also hadn’t yet gone through his folder, and then I got out the pretzel bag and found it had been put away with seriously 2.5 pretzels in it and I had to get a new bag from the basement, and we had no cups for lunch because they are all in the dishwasher, and then Henry was PICKING UP the gingerbread houses and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA]

Every year in December, Pseudostoops picks a week, chooses one local awesome charity for each day of that week, and donates $20 to each charity, plus an additional 50 cents for each comment she receives on that charity’s post. I’m not sure I’m explaining this well, but the upshot is that if you comment on that day’s post, the charity featured in that post gets 50 more cents.

Plus, one of your commenting options (you can even just say “comment” or “hi”) is to mention one of your own favorite charities. At the end of the week, Pseudostoops takes five of THOSE charities, puts them in a poll, and gives $50 to the one that gets the most votes. If you love a local charity, this is a great way to get them some attention. (It doesn’t HAVE to be local, though.)

I’ve found it surprisingly interesting to read about the different kinds of work being done by the different charities. I also enjoy picturing an unexpectedly large number of Swistle readers descending on Pseudostoops’s posts, until Pseudostoops begs for mercy. Heh.

Today’s charity is The Greater Chicago Food Depository: go comment on the post and then feel pleased about your charitable work.

This year I feel less frantic to not! miss! any! DEALS! than in previous years. Nevertheless, I found a rich vein of them accidentally, while shopping for Elizabeth. I don’t know how long the prices will be reduced—they just suddenly appeared that way. Here are the things I bought—some for Christmas this year, some for upcoming birthdays, some for the gift shelf for parties the kids attend in the future, and some to put in charity toy collection boxes (all photos from Amazon.com):

Orb Factory Stick ‘n’ Style Blinglets, $7.99 down from $19.99. Elizabeth loves (1) crafts and (2) jewelry and (3) fashion. Perfect.

Orb Factory Sticky Mosaics: Jewels, $7.99 down from $16.99. Elizabeth and I have done several sets of these sticky mosaics, and the Jewels set was by far my favorite: I liked the pictures better, and also there was more “forming the picture out of the mosaic pieces” and less “filling in with colors pre-printed on the background” than the other sets. And these don’t go on sale: I keep them in my cart so I can see if they DO (which is how I found this deal), and all year they’ve gone down no more than a dollar. At $7.99, I bought two to give as future birthday party gifts: I love how they’re crafts, but not MESSY. And unlike many children’s craft kits, where I would rather give the child MONEY than help them work on the craft, I find peeling and sticking the mosaic pieces soothing. Please remember this when I am in whatever residential living situation is in my future.

RoomMates Peel and Stick Dinosaur Wall Stickers, $10.08 down from $12.99. These were not such an amazing deal, but I wanted to show them to you anyway. I love wall stickers, especially for decorating the rooms of children with rapidly-changing interests, and these are for Henry, who likes his dinosaurs REALISTIC, not CARTOONY.

Melissa and Doug Animal Stamp Set, $7.99 down from $14.99. I ordered two of these for future party gifts. I fret sometimes about giving a gift that seems too presumptuously girlish or boyish, but this works for girls and boys alike. And the ink is washable. I repeat: THE INK IS WASHABLE. We have another of these sets and Henry stamped them all over his skin and the wall and the table and the box fan—no big deal.

Orb Factory Sticky Mosaics Jewelry Box, $9.99 down from $14.99. Elizabeth is already getting this as a gift this year from someone else, but when it went on sale I bought another for a toy collection box or for her to bring as a future party gift.

Orb Factory Sticky Mosaics Flower Power, $6.99 down from $16.99. (Hello. Have I mentioned that Elizabeth and I are fans of Sticky Mosaics?) I was wondering why I bought two of these when I like them less than the Jewels one, but then I remembered it’s because I got one for Elizabeth and one for a party gift or toy donation.

Orb Factory Sticky Mosaics Heart Box, $6.99 down from $14.99. STICKY MOSAICS = TL4EVA.