Hello Swistle!
When naming my first, your way of thinking about baby naming was so helpful! Yet here I am with baby girl #2 due in April, and I’m totally stuck.
Our last name is Jenny. It’s Swiss. So that’s cool. It’s also impossibly hard to name for.
For our first, we went with Ryan. We loved how Ryan balanced the femininity of our last name and was on the more unique side of girls’ names without being too obscure. My family heritage is Irish, so I liked that connection too.
For this next one, we have a few challenges:
1. We want something that fits with Ryan, so we can’t go too feminine, which wouldn’t work great with Jenny anyway. But I do worry about another “unisex” name. Will people think they’re both boys? They’d figure it out, but still, it feels like it’d be too much of the same.
2. We aren’t actually that adventurous with names; even though Ryan is less popular for girls (like in the 400s?), it’s still a very familiar name.
3. Both my husband and I have names that start with “Al” so A names are vetoed. Also avoid -y ending sounds if possible, to avoid a sing-song name (Jenny as a last name is silly enough).
Names I like (he doesn’t love):
– Margot (husband thinks it’s an old lady name)
– Mara
– Emory (nn Emmie)
– NoaNames he likes (I don’t love):
– Laila
– Maya
– Emma (feels too popular for me)
– TatumNo names are vetoed just yet. But we just aren’t on the same page! Is there any middle ground between our two styles? Perhaps neutral girl names that fall slightly more feminine?
I appreciate your help!
I had two immediate reactions: first “Oh, Jenny is a DARLING surname!!” followed two seconds later by “Oh I see what you mean.” It’s charming and challenging. I don’t think there’s any need to balance the femininity of it (she says, far too late to be of any use): I’m trying and failing to imagine someone with the surname James or Henry saying they had to give their sons feminine names to balance the masculinity of the surname.
I think if you go with another unisex-leaning-heavily-boy name for a second daughter, that yes, some people will assume at first they’re both boys. But if you go for a a name that is NOT unisex-leaning-heavily-boy, then people will be CERTAIN that only Ryan is a boy, and in my opinion that would be much worse. If you have, say, Ryan and Elliott, people may first guess boys, but will quickly and easily understand that you liked unisex/boyish names for girls; if you have, say, Ryan and Margot, people are not going to understand what happened with the naming style. Which is fine! They don’t have to understand! there’s no rule about coordinating names! and, as you say, they WILL figure it out! Don’t choose a name you don’t like just to make things coordinate! But if my name were Ryan in this situation, I would prefer the “my sister and I both have unisex/boyish names” scenario to the “people keep thinking I’m a boy but they never think that about my sister” scenario.
And so from your lists, my favorites are Emory, Noa, Tatum. Emory is unisex leaning girl, but still makes sense to me with Ryan; the spelling Noa leans heavily girl but the familiarity/popularity of Noah helps it seem more boy; Tatum is roughly evenly split in usage. I would absolutely not choose Emma here: not only has it been in the Top Three Girl Names in the U.S. for over two decades now according to the Social Security Administration, it’s used exclusively for girls. Margot, Mara, Laila, and Maya—also used exclusively for girls.
Let’s see if we can find more options to consider. Normally with a surname that seems like a first name, I might steer away from names that seemed like surnames; in this particular case, I doubt there is even the smallest chance of avoiding that particular confusion no matter WHAT first name we choose (even Jennifer Jenny would be unclear), so I am not even going to bother trying; also, many unisex names are surname names, including Ryan, so I’m just going to lean into it.
I used Elliott as my example name, and that’s one of my top suggestions. It’s unisex leaning boy, but familiar for girls, as Ryan is. And I think it’s fun to say with your surname. Elliott Jenny; Ryan and Elliott.
Callan. Unisex leaning heavily boy, but I have personally encountered a little girl with that name and it seemed perfectly appropriate on her. Nicknames Callie and Cal if she wants either of them: Callie to go more feminine; Cal to really lean into the cool. Callan Jenny; Ryan and Callan.
Ellis. Unisex leaning boy, but with the familiar El- of many girl names, and Ellie as an available nickname. Ellis Jenny; Ryan and Ellis.
Kellen. Unisex leaning heavily boy, but with Ellen right in there it doesn’t seem surprising as a girl name. Kellen Jenny; Ryan and Kellen.
Morgan. Unisex leaning girl, but I recently encountered a little boy with the name. A little bit similar to Margot and Mara and Emory. Morgan Jenny; Ryan and Morgan.
Teagan. Unisex leaning girl, but I’m drawn to this -gan ending and I think it’s cute with the surname. The G also makes it less of a repeated ending with Ryan: it turns it into -yan and -gan instead of both -an. Teagan Jenny; Ryan and Teagan.
Logan. Unisex leaning heavily boy, but not so heavily as to make it surprising on a girl. Logan Jenny; Ryan and Logan.
Beckett. Unisex leaning heavily boy, but with Becky and Bex and even Etta as available nicknames. Fun to say with the surname. Beckett Jenny; Ryan and Beckett.
Campbell. Evenly split in usage. Cammie and Cam and even Bella as available nicknames. Campbell Jenny; Ryan and Campbell.
Cameron. Fairly evenly split when considering all spellings, but this spelling leans pretty heavily boy. Cammie and Cam and even Ronnie as available nicknames. Cameron Jenny; Ryan and Cameron.
Gracen. This spelling is unusual and fairly evenly split in usage; however, the much more common Grayson/Greyson are used almost exclusively for boys. Gracen Jenny; Ryan and Gracen.
Hollis. Unisex leaning boy, but with the available nickname Holly. Hollis Jenny; Ryan and Hollis.
Keaton. Unisex leaning heavily boy, but I feel like Diane Keaton gives it a familiar feminine sound. Also, my mom has a childhood friend who goes by Keatsie, which is adorable and fun to say. Keaton Jenny; Ryan and Keaton.
Miller. Unisex leaning boy, but with the available nickname Millie/Milly. Miller Jenny; Ryan and Miller.
Sawyer. Unisex leaning boy. Sawyer Jenny; Ryan and Sawyer.
Spencer. Unisex leaning boy. Spencer Jenny; Ryan and Spencer.
Mason. Unisex leaning heavily boy, but my kids went to school with a girl Mason so it feels normal to me. Available nicknames May and Macy and Maisy. Mason Jenny; Ryan and Mason.
Parker. Unisex leaning boy, but familiar for girls. Parker Jenny; Ryan and Parker.