Suddenly it’s ten days until Christmas and as usual I feel caught off-guard. Most of it will get done “automatically,” in the sense that stress and necessity will drive me to, for example, wrap all the presents sometime between now and Christmas, and I don’t feel as if I need to actively plan for that.
But also: I still need the small coworker gifts (sometime between 2022 and now I stopped using a hyphen in the word coworker, and it made it nearly impossible to search for that post), and I don’t have any good ideas this year, or at least not for anything I can get here in time. I can fall back on the “festive baggie containing a cocoa packet and a snack-pack of cookies and a foil-wrapped chocolate,” so that’s fine, stress-wise, but it would be nice to think of something more fun/interesting. On Wednesday I’m going to Trader Joe’s; maybe this year everyone gets one of the giant foil-wrapped chocolate coins. No one cares. Anything is fine.
I also need to buy a Secret Santa gift for one coworker, and I do have an idea for that, but I need to go to a physical store to get it, and it might not still be there (I should have bought it when I saw it) (it’s a cozy blanket) (I’m not saying it’s a fresh original ultra-personalized idea, but I AM saying this is a blanket that was fought over at a swap where no one ever swaps because everyone is worried about hurting everyone’s feelings) (I did not win it, and I KNEW I wouldn’t win it, so I surreptitiously took a photo of the fabric tag and I TRACKED IT DOWN and bought myself one) (it’s a Nido Notte throw, if you’re interested) (I found it at HomeGoods/Marshalls). If I’ve waited too long and the blanket is gone, I am screwed. …No, I am not screwed. Everything is fine. She doesn’t truly deep-down care what I buy her. I can pick anything, even a bad gift, even a gift-manufactured-only-to-be-a-gift, and it will still be fine.
And I’d like to buy something for Edward’s infusion nurses. We see them every 4-6 weeks year after year, and my favorite is to bring in a couple of big shopping bags of individually-pre-wrapped snacks (cookies, crackers, chips), and individual canned/bottled coffee drinks, and candy, all of which they can keep for themselves or put in the break room or whatever. Edward is going for an infusion this Friday, so I need to get that together by then.
And we have connections to a kid who could use a boost, and I am trying to figure that out. By kid I mean a 20-year-old, a classmate of the twins. Elizabeth alerted me to the kid’s situation; the situation is both dire and hopeful. I think I can summarize without violating privacy, by saying this is a kid who came from a conservative Christian household that had become increasingly abusive, and the kid has escaped, but it meant sacrificing both home and college. The kid is doing an impressive job figuring things out on their own: job, rickety used car, various places to stay—but you’re an adult, and you can imagine trying to pay bills with an entry-level job, and you can imagine trying to live in a great-aunt’s/cousin’s/friends’ guest room but not wanting to overstay that welcome. It’s hard to find just the right care package that says “Gosh I wish everything was different for you,” so that’s not the goal; the goal is to say “Hi, here are some baked things at a festive time of year OH GOD I WISH EVERYTHING WAS DIFFERENT FOR YOU and also here are some festive candy canes and a lip balm and a peppermint hand lotion PLEASE BE OKAY and some jolly mittens and warm socks!!” Also I am going to figure out a way to send some anonymous cash.
This feels like an awkward segue after that last paragraph, but I tried to rearrange and that was even worse (“I need something for this desperate kid, and also a Secret Santa blankie!”), and I do still truly wish to know what is still on your to-do list. And if you have any ideas for my coworkers. There are nearly twenty of them, so I am looking in the $2-3 range per person, which is a difficult range for satisfaction and joy, so I am aiming merely for holiday good will and festive gesture.
We have travelled internationally this year for Christmas (UK to Australia) and the logistics have nearly ended me. I had to have a SPREADSHEET to track gifts for the kids (Santa is bringing some things to Australia but the big stuff has to be delivered home to London), gifts for family, travel and packing and itinerary. I have some stuff already wrapped in suitcases, some yet to be wrapped but packed under clothes and some things delivered to my brother’s house. Am exhausted.
I don’t know if this is culturally acceptable in the US but the most popular Secret Santa gift I ever bought was scratch card lottery tickets to the value of the gift limit. They were stolen by every subsequent recipient!
Do you live near a World Market where you could buy a Salt Journey, or BBQ Rubs, or peppercorn variety packs and divide them up? That place is great for exploring and finding quirky items.
“ No one cares. Anything is fine.”
Ohh. This sounded so sad. Are you ok?
Personally, I’d be thrilled to receive a giant TJs coin.
I looked up the Nido Notte throw – it does look amazing. Better than the average throw!
20 year old kid – is it possible he could stay in Rob’s old room? I don’t know if that’s something you & Paul would be open to. It would be too much for me, but my parents and my in laws have both hosted people in these kinds of situations for prolonged periods so I think it just depends on the person.
I think “No one cares. Anything is fine” is a mantra to remember that sometimes the gesture is what matters, not the gift and whether it’s perfect. As an overthinker I find this reassuring!
Everything is okay! Anna is right that that’s my little reassuring mantra to remind myself that it’s really okay no matter what. None of my coworkers’ holiday happiness rest on the perfection of the particular small item I choose, so it’s okay to choose pretty much anything!
I don’t know if you could find them cheep enough, but my two cents re: coworker gifts are: 1) mini spatulas. Most people I know don’t have any, but I use mine ALL THE TIME. They’re great for getting food out of jars, stirring small portions, etc. It’s the kind of thing people don’t necessarily buy for themselves, but will likely find unexpectedly useful. 2) Fingerless gloves. I like the kind that just hocks on your thumbs and doesn’t go over each finger. I was going to put a link to an example on Amazon but the link was obnoxiously long and the vibes were off. I think this kind is better because you can pull it back and leave it on your wrist during handwashing.
You are so right. I once received a mini spatula with a hot chocolate box. I threw it in the drawer without a thought beyond “cute”. And then I was looking in the drawer for something to scoop with, found the bitty spatula and my life was so changed… At least my life in the kitchen.
I’m putting together a care package for a kid in a similar situation here. He asked for a piece of jewelry, some tea, and nonfiction books. (I chose Nonviolent Communication along with Thinking Fast and Slow.) Together with friends, we got those items along with gloves, pajamas, t shirts, a thermos for the tea, and assorted useful things: socks, toothpaste, toothbrush, deodorant, nail clippers, bandaids, minor first aid kit, handmade hat, gloves, power bank for phone, flashlight, pens, tape, sponge, envelopes, stamps, small pair of scissors.
My kids donated most of their candy stash, and I put it all together in a stocking.
I love the giant coins idea, for the novelty/delight aspect. Otherwise the cocoa packet sounds excellent and cute and seasonable. I have no other suggestions, except for “cute pencil, cute novelty eraser” packet.
I drew my brother in my family’s gift exchange. The only thing on his wishlist is a blueberry plant. I was already mentally prepared to give him an IOU for when it’s the right season here to purchase blueberry plants, but I found out this morning that due to some disease, they probably won’t be available until this time next year, which seems too long to wait.
Also every year I decide to sew or knit or weave something for my sister in law, and every year that ends up being a last minute panic to finish on time.
Ok so this may be too precious, but what if you got some small tins at Goodwill or the Dollar Store or anywhere they would be inexpensive, and then filled them with safety pins? I imagine most adult women already have a place where they keep safety pins, but what if they don’t? Or if the place they keep them is not cute?
Honestly for years I have thought of the little cocoa pack plus pre wrapped cookie thing as what I wish all coworker gifts were. Small enough that if I forgot to bring something little I wouldn’t feel bad, consumable (it doesn’t last forever) but it would probably be in my desk/ purse/ cubby when I really needed a pick me up. So if you find something else, awesome, but know that your go to is great!! My family does Hanukkah so there is nothing left but the nightly scramble to wrap that night’s presents.
My heart goes out to that kid, gosh, I can’t even believe what some people do to their children.
Anyway! I have to get some gingerbread done, and this week is a bit nutty with other non-Christmas things so…it will all get done! It will!
My first thought was lottery tickets, but I also thought you can get a great pen for $2-$3. I have been using this Vico pen for my cards this week and I am amazed at how it is cheering me up! You can get them for like $1.50 each if you bought a box of them and then maybe a cute notepad? Or post its? I also really like the mini spatula idea above.
I am struggling because in the last few years I have just started requesting lists from my kids and I just … get them everything on the list. The problem is, one child has asked for a LOT more than the other two so I have to try and balance it out and now I am counting gifts, which feels awful. I am almost finished with my cards and in fact am running out this morning to get stamps and I will be really finished. I work until this Friday and then I’m off for two weeks and I can’t wait! I’m hoping to do some baking and get a menu together for 12/25.
Honestly I would be v happy with cocoa and a cookie! But if you want to branch out… how about a similar vibe but with a lip balm and a pack of cute tissues and some tictacs or similar? A little winter survival kit to keep in your purse/handbag/geographically correct receptacle?
It’s old-fashioned, but the last time I needed to give cash anonymously, I went inside of a bank and got a money order. They still do those! I sent it through the mail and it was more secure than sending cash and didn’t cost extra like a visa gift card.
If your concern is that the kid would feel awkward getting cash from the mom of friends, what about gas and grocery gift cards in the gift basket? My experience is that those tend to come with less awkward feelings for young people, and while it’s not as fungible as cold hard cash, the kid needs to eat and since you mentioned a car, needs to drive, and gift cards for those things would free up cash for other things.
That’s a great idea about gift cards!
Do they have laundry access where they are staying? If not, you could gift a laundry basket with detergent, etc. and a gift card to a local laundromat.
I got myself into such a mess this year by not coming up with a standard gift for teachers etc that I had to make a chart to keep track of who is getting what combination of things. So if you are a teacher (classroom or special), bus driver, babysitter, or extracurricular coach you will get at least one of these things: gift card (value varies based on importance), an actual gift (a zippered cloth pouch sewn in part by a child), a greeting card, a bag of homemade cookies and/or oranges. The cookies were already made, but I had to track down the oranges (satsuma mandarins are the best but hard to find) and dig out the gift bags, and I still need to make the children fill out some of the cards.
I am managing the BARE MINIMUM this year. I just ordered my xmas cards *yesterday*. I’m hosting on xmas eve and have not figured out a menu. Last day of school is Friday; no teacher gifts have been purchased yet (I’m thinking TJ’s gift card + giant chocolate coin though, thanks to you!!).
I always struggle with what to get my team (ppl reporting into me) – this year I went with Kate McLeod bath/shower melts as it’s been a pretty stressful year at our job. Last year I think was my best one ever – a gift box from Universal Yums, which pulls together snack foods from around the world that we Americans likely haven’t tried. It’s my most-stressed-about category every year though.
Teacher here! The best gift I ever got from
a student was a Trader Joe’s gift card inside an insulated TJ’s shopping bag. I actually thought the bag was the gift and was extra delighted to find a gift card inside. I still use the bag on every grocery trip!
Also, ornaments with the student’s name on them — I love thinking about former kiddos each year as I hang them up. Swistle, maybe a coworker idea?
Lastly, teachers are absolutely telling the truth when we say the best gift is a heartfelt handwritten card (ok, maybe with some chocolate!)
Those Kate McCloud solid lotion bars have been on my list for years! They seem like such nice scents
It’s more work, but I used to have a coworker who made chex mix for everyone and I still miss her. That chex mix was one of the highlights of my holiday season!
I love the mini spatula idea as a co-worker gift, or maybe a mini set of tongs? Like, 5″-ish? I have no idea where mine came from, but I use them all the time!
I mostly have buying left on my list, which is much, much easier than the thinking/planning for me. I need to send holiday cards, not really because I want to but because I skipped last year (and it was glorious) but I love getting holiday mail and I don’t want to fall off of people’s lists. I need a gift for my brother. And I need to figure out which books I’m going to give my nieces for Christmas. They are both 16. One loves urban fantasy with a (PG-13) romance element- one of her favorite books is City of Bone by Cassandra Clare. The other likes more plain fantasy and her favorite books are the Red Queen series. I’d love any suggestions that you/your readers might have!
Poison Study is an all time favourite of my daughter who loves fantasy books…
Ooooh, thank you! I actually read that one myself when it came out (and then forgot completely about it), but it would be perfect! Thanks!
We did our Christmas last Sunday, because we’re actually traveling on Christmas day. And we’ll be at the extended family Christmas this upcoming weekend. So Sunday it was.
I also feel caught off guard, but on the other hand I am not leaping up to do things. I still want to get handwarmers for the stockings. And I do wish to buy 37 pencils and distribute them to the family.
I still need to wrap everything, and do it before this Thursday, when Younger Daughter arrives home to live here for 3 weeks. Once she gets here we will be concentrating on baking, and we will decorate the 18-inch tall rosemary bush (shaped like a conifer tree) with teeny lights and teeny ornaments.
I hit “post” too soon.
My profound thanks to you for giving attention to the kid who needs a boost. That is lovely and thoughtful and the world needs it. Thank you for doing that.
Go with the giant gold coins! That sounds fun.
I also would appreciate a tiny pack of tissues and/or a fun clip I can use on a chip bag.
As of today *most* of my to-do list is done. I still need a few stocking stuffers and am anxiously awaiting the delivery of the remaining gifts – and frantically wondering what to do if they don’t arrive in time. What DO YOU mean Etsy, that so-n-so is working on my order? That was three days ago, this is not an item that is being handcrafted upon my order. In my mind, it should have shipped already. I’m seriously considering contacting the seller and driving 4 hours one way to pick it up at this point.
I woke up feverish and sick Sunday and was struck with dread, but I think this is not going to turn out to be a week-and-a-half flu even though the flu shot apparently missed the mark somewhat this year, and in that sense Christmas is still farther off than I thought. I haven’t baked anything, but presents are mostly done and I can phone stuff in if I have to, my kids are not small anymore and they will understand.
My fever-baked brain has no good ideas, but I am SO touched when someone gives me anything, and a cocoa-packed-cookie-chocolate little gift bag is AWESOME, and the fuzzy blanket often gets stolen at our steal a gift in which many gifts are stolen and there is sometimes violence, so I applaud that choice. Or any other choice. Especially with lip balm. My lips are so dry. My throat is flayed. I’m feeling better, really.
Allison NO. NO FEVERS. IT IS CHRISTMASTIME GD IT
Allison, we got the same bug! My son went down first but both my husband and I got symptoms last Friday. This means the cleaning of the house went backwards for a week and I became one with the couch for 4 solid days. The main thing is that now, a week later, we’re over it enough to go collect our daughter and move her home from university for co-op for the next 4 months, and we’ve got the bugs over and done with before Christmas proper. Ditto my step-mother’s household who was hit with a mix of the standard bug going around, PLUS she brought back an EVEN WORSE virus from a cruise when she came home last weekend.
My sister (whose husband announced an affair 2 months ago and decided he didn’t want to be a father) had her first baby 10 days ago. The baby spent 4 days in the NICU and came home on Thursday. So our family has spent the past week cuddling a brand new, cute baby. :). But that means I have no idea which way is up at this point. Our family has had to do our best to do some of the things the father would do–I drove the baby and his mom home for the hospital, my mom has dropped everything to try and help, my sister was at the hospital through 40 hours of labor, and we’ve all taken tons of time off of work.
And I’m certainly not ready for Christmas. I did order my cards and my goal is to get them mailed out sometime in the next week. We don’t do much for presents, but I do need to buy some things for a friend’s daughter and my 2 other nephews.
But we have this wonderful, adorable, and (clearly a) genius baby. There might not be anything better than rocking a baby with a Christmas tree sparkling with a Christmas movie playing.
This is Hallmark Christmas Movie levels of appalling (the husband) plus magical (the baby). I hope for the most wonderful movie ending possible. This is the Christmas of The Baby.
I agree with Swistle that this is both appalling and magical. And kudos to you for being there for your sister! There is something wonderful about babies at Christmas time. My sister also had a baby alone (although in her case the dad lived in another country and was never interested in being present,) with Mom and the sisters helping her. Some of my best memories are being present for many of my nephew’s milestones (first smile! first step!)
I also had my own first baby two days after Christmas. Recovering for a c-section in which I couldn’t stand or lie down comfortable, I spent hours and hours sitting with baby in front of the tree. (Mostly) good memories of that too!
Appalling and magical is the perfect way to describe it. (And, let me tell you, the one sentence version I gave makes her husband look good in comparison to the entire awful story. It’s so much worse.)
And it’s heartwarming to me your memories of helping your sister. I have thought that it is going to be such a privilege to have a front row seat to this kid. He’s already so loved.
And I forgot to mention the name since baby names are of interest here. It’s Lawrence/Larry! Which kind of took us by surprise but now seems perfect. And do you know what charms the pants off of a bunch of NICU nurses and doctors? A baby named Larry. ;)
Teared up just reading this story…the juxtaposition of the best and worst of humanity. Sending love to all.
Same for me. Holy hell!
Wishing your family all the best this Christmas. I’m devastated for your sister, but hopeful that the timing of this is better than finding out after the father became involved in the baby’s life. That baby will be so loved, with an entire village supporting him and his mom. 💗 And I’m excited for you to get to be so closely connected to their lives! Enjoy all the baby snuggles this holiday!!!!!
First I want to say that I still think about your something to read, something to wear, something to do method of present-buying and it has helped me immensely over the years, so thanks!
Second I am in a place where two of my kids are 6 and 8 and are easy to shop for because they want everything and all the kids toys/stuffers/games are easy to find, and two of my kids are 11 and 13 and don’t really want that kid stuff but it feels super unequal to have a bunch of little things for the littles and only a few fancier things for the teen/tween. Why are teens/tweens so hard to shop for?
And Third I got my Chirstmas village up but the cats keep destroying it (burrowing under the snow blanket and making caves/holes, stealing trees, and knocking over all the people/roads/trees) and I got all my Christmas cards out (pics, ordering, stamps, addressing, and the worst part; texting people who moved to get their updated addresses oooooof!) but I feel woefully behind/uneven on my shopping.
And fourth for anyone who is interested my favorite secret santa gift to give is an adult coloring book and a small pack of prismacolor pencils. Johanna Basford is my favorite (she even has mini coloring books which are great for smaller gifts). It’s fun, different, and easily regiftable if someone doesn’t like it and works for a range of ages/interests.
I know you feel very iffy about T@rget, but I will say that their $3 Wondershop Christmas ornaments are delightful, and I used those plus a small package of Lindt truffles and a packet of festive cocoa for the (THREE) dance teachers this year!
For any other Moms of littles: I also got our elves there because I hated the smarmy creepy Elf on the Shelf one so much. They have little actually cute elf ornaments for $3 and I cut the strings off.
It’s now a week until Christmas and even though my shopping is nearly done I am realizing it might be too late to order things online, especially since we are boycotting Amazon, which will force me into brick-and-mortar stores, but that can be a good thing, morally speaking.
What concerns me most is the Christmas cards. Only about 5% are addressed and mailed (I took the international ones to the post office yesterday). I am going to have to accept a lot of them are just not going to arrive by Christmas. The week between Christmas and New Year’s is points off, I suppose, but better than nothing and not so late it’s weird.
I haven’t started my Christmas cards yet, that will begin this weekend. I bought stocking stuffers yesterday except the candy, so that’s 90% done, and I just need a movie gift card for one child and the gifts are done as well. Menus are planned.
This year I’m at a new job and we did a “favorite things” gift exchange. Each person brought in three things that cost $10 each and we chose from each other’s gifts and came away with three new things. That was fun!
I wish I could contribute to the stash for the kid you’re helping. I’m so sorry they’re in that mess.
We’ve all been sick for a week so no cards sent, no tree up, no house cleaning done, no visiting with my sister at my mom’s while she was in town this week, but I have the major gifts and a few minor fun gifts bought, and I’ve already created and received the FIVE DIFFERENT VERSIONS I made of the family calendar (each slightly tweaked to be customized to its recipient). The things I have done I did before I fell sick of course. I’m still dithering over my husband’s gift but hope to pull it out of the fire at the last minute.
My anxiety and ptsd this fall has been massive and expressed itself by being ready for Christmas by December 1. I got the kids I nanny for all kinds of things and honestly spent way too much money on them because although I’m paid OK I’m not paid THAT well. My favorite gift is my sister is a big hiker who climbed Mount Kilimanjaro once and I got her a 3-D trail map of her favorite hiking spot engraved with a quote we both like. I’m also very excited about the geode smashing kit I got my favorite six-year-old. I’m going to take a very uncomfortable train ride from Boston to Chicago tomorrow to end up seeing family in Wisconsin, and it will be great to see my sister, not so great to see my mom who has Alzheimer’s and is difficult at the best of times. I also adopted a family for the first time this year. And another thing I couldn’t really afford, but I could afford it enough that I was able to buy them some stuff, and I had fun picking out the right tile sets and remote controlled cars. Swistle I love what you’re doing for your kiddos friend and I love your holiday post