Intriguing Underarms; New Living Room Curtains

I dreamed I had a brand-new baby, a girl. I used to feel sad waking up from a dream like that; now I feel relieved. It was a cute baby, though, and I would have liked to have had a second girl.

The other day Target was having a buy-four-get-a-free-$5-gift-card sale on a deodorant I hadn’t tried, and that kind of marketing works on me so instead of sensibly buying just one to see if I even liked that kind, I bought four different scents of it. One of them is called Sexy Intrigue, which seems a little ambitious for underarms but I’m willing to give it a shot; no intrigue as of press time but I’ll let you know.

Today I made a batch of phone calls resulting in six appointments for various people and animals in my household. I seized on a moment of willingness combined with a moment of “OH CRAP I FORGOT TO MAKE THAT ONE APPOINTMENT.”

We moved into this house more than sixteen years ago, and this week I finally bought some living room curtains to replace the saggy, thin, large-hole-burned-in-one-panel-by-an-incident-with-a-lamp, dated-looking tab-top curtains we brought with us from our apartment. Those windows get a ton of sun in the summer and I don’t even want to think about how much we could have saved on air-conditioning bills if I could have been A LITTLE MORE DECISIVE. I got Eclipse Windsor light-blocking curtains in green:

(image from Target.com)

At first the green was a little lighter than I was expecting: somewhere in between the green in this screenshot and the green in the close-ups on the Target site. But then later they looked darker again, so I think they just change with the…..light in the room. That sounded smarter in my head.

They are a success except they could use ironing and I’m not going to do it. I’m going to hope that a warm humid summer will handle that problem—like hanging a shirt in the bathroom while taking a shower.

20 thoughts on “Intriguing Underarms; New Living Room Curtains

  1. Alice

    If they’re machine washable, I vote you just spray the curtains with distilled water and put them in the dryer. Faster than waiting all summer, easier than ironing.

    Reply
  2. Lawyerish

    I have been having baby girl dreams lately, too! They are very vivid and I feel how much I love that baby, but then I wake up and I do not have to nurse or diaper a baby and I do not feel very sad about it.

    SIX! Appointments! I hope you treated yourself to something after that. I need smelling salts and a good nap after I make just one appointment of any kind.

    Reply
  3. el-e-e

    I had a phone call doozy last week – one (admittedly last minute) prescription refill took, let me count…Ii think 6 different phone calls. Due to 1) various lunch breaks/voice mails, 2) bad cell phone reception, 3) a misunderstanding btwn the nurse and the scheduler (because in order to get a Rx I have to have an appt. on the books, “we’ll just cancel it later” ARGH) etc. etc. etc. It was supremely frustrating and I thought of all my phone-call-hating buddies in the computer. >_<

    Reply
  4. Cameron

    If it makes you feel better we got similar curtains from Target that I DID iron (there was a lot of muttering involved) and they looked better before. When my husband first mentioned this I considered strangling him but after some time even I can admit that once they got crinkled again they look better.

    Reply
  5. Suzanne

    I feel like gravity was MEANT for this challenge. The curtain wrinkles have to obey GRAVITY, right? Ironing would just be disturbing the natural order of things.

    Those buy-4-get-$5 deals at Target are SO HARD to resist. I think recently I bought a bunch of Method soap just to get a gift card. $5 plus plenty of soap for the apocalypse. No regrets.

    Reply
  6. Matti

    Ironing curtains is also not for me. My mom stills calls it “pressing” things. If that gives you any clue as to why I may be rebelling against any kind of ironing forever if I can help it.

    Also, I really like those curtains! I like a green that has an undertone of gold to it. At least, that’s how to shows up on my computer screen.

    Reply
  7. Laura

    I have been having baby dreams too. Is this a menopause thing or a first child graduating from high school thing? I do feel like someone I know and love has evaporated when I wake up which is a little unpleasant.

    Reply
  8. MomQueenBee

    If you haven’t started your Christmas list yet do it now and put a steamer on it. Not expensive (maybe $11 on Black Friday) so perfect for a present-for-Mom from a kid and it is magical for anything that hangs. I may never iron again.

    Reply
    1. Liz

      I bought a steamer on a fb swap and sell site. Best purchase!! I also have those exact curtains from target in navy and steamed the wrinkles right out!

      Reply
  9. Gigi

    “One of them is called Sexy Intrigue, which seems a little ambitious for underarms but I’m willing to give it a shot; no intrigue as of press time but I’ll let you know.” I LOVED this!!

    I am not an ironer and when I have to it’s usually not a happy day. But here’s the ONE (of many) things I wish my mother (or someone) had taught me – HOW to iron things like curtains and large tablecloths. I usually find myself ironing a tablecloth for the holidays and I’ll get one part all nice and smooth, then I move on to the next part, which means the just-ironed-part is hitting the floor and getting all wrinkled again. Makes me insane.

    All that to say, smart move not ironing those curtains. You’ve saved your sanity.

    Reply
    1. Eli

      Drape the freshly ironed part over a chair a few feet away from the ironing board to keep it suspended as you work on the different sections, and until the fabric cools from the iron.

      Reply
  10. Nancy

    I ironed some new curtains that were wrinkled from the package and slightly damaged them, so much better not to risk it.

    Reply
  11. Megan

    I laughed out loud at “seems ambitious for underarms.” Sometimes I buy my husband’s deodorant, and those names are also laughable. APOLLO underarms. PHOENIX underarms. ANARCHY underarms.

    Reply
    1. Swistle Post author

      Old Spice is THE BEST for these names. I wish I liked the scents more, because I REALLY wanted to come home with Bearglove or Wolfthorn for Paul.

      Reply
  12. Jenny

    I was just saying to my husband last night that we need curtains for the living room, the kitchen, and our bedroom (and possibly the office) and we may wait until the heat death of the sun because they are so hard to pick out. 97% of them just don’t please me and most of the rest don’t go. He asked if I thought that was the curtains’ fault, or my fault for being too picky, and I said neither, just an issue of incompatibility, like dating.

    Reply
  13. Sarah!

    You should make a list of “tasks that you really don’t want to do and don’t really need to be done but it would be nice if they were done with no effort from you” (working title). Then when a kid is in trouble, you can offer them PUNISHMENT CHOICES! Example, “As a result of punching your brother, you can either give up your computer time for the day or IRON THE CURTAINS!” etc.

    Reply
  14. Kristin H

    Ha ha, your ironing solution is right up my alley. About eight years ago I did some edging with bricks. I did not bother to bury them at all, just sat them on top of the ground at the edge of the flower beds, figuring that over time they would slowly sink down. Eight years down the road, they are maybe 1/4 inch lower than they used to be. I consider that a win. Eight years from now, when they’re sunk down half an inch, I’ll be patting myself on the back!

    Reply

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