My main earlobe piercings got a little irritated, so this morning I dipped the earring studs in antibiotic ointment before putting them into my ears. This is a tip my Aunt Barb mentioned to me when I was a pre-teen. My mom didn’t have pierced ears, and so neither of us knew this idea. (I have heard about NOT doing it for cartilage piercings, in case you are suddenly feeling anxious.)
I was thinking about all the other beauty/care tips that get handed down and around. My mom’s friend Carol is the one who mentioned you have to use some sort of shaving cream or lotion or soap when you shave your legs with a disposable razor: my mom used my dad’s electric razor, so I’d thought disposable razors worked on the same “dry legs, no added substances” principle and gave myself a nasty razor burn.
Carol is also the one who told me you could water down an overly-intense lipstick by putting on lip balm/gloss first, then dabbing on the lipstick lightly, then rubbing your lips together to mix.
My friend Melanie’s mom is the one who taught us to wash our faces: first, run the washcloth under hot water and hold it against your face for a little while to open the pores; then put soap on the washcloth and wash and rinse your face; then, run the washcloth under cold water and hold it against your face for a little while to close the pores. I don’t even do it this way, yet I think of it as The Way To Wash Your Face.
My brother’s friend Robin had a much older sister who taught us to put a little bit of conditioner in our hair after towel-drying it but before blow-drying it. This was in the era of perming, blow-drying, and using a curling iron, so we were all looking for ways to turn straw back into hair.
I wish I could remember and thank whoever was so persuasive about face lotion that I started using it every day from age 12 onward. It might have been one of the teen magazines I read, or maybe Cosmo. Well worth the price of the subscription, if so. I bought Oil of Olay with my $1.25/hour babysitting money.
Amy, a girl in my youth group who was 16 when I was 12, is the one who mentioned that sometimes you need to shave armpits in more than one direction. She’s also the one who taught me how to feather my hair. And to match all my eye make-up to my eye-color, which I no longer do, but it was fun at the time.
My grandmother demonstrated how to spray perfume on a wrist, then touch the wrists together lightly, then touch the wrists lightly to the sides of the neck.
My mom taught me how to put wet hair into a towel turban. I think often of something I saw a long time ago (surely one of you will know what this was) where Elaine from Seinfeld tosses a pile of towels to a line of towel-clad women (could one of the women have been Elliot from Scrubs? but if so, WHY?), and we look away, and there’s a fwip-fwip-fwip sound, and when we look back all of them have towel-turbaned heads, and Elaine says “I love how we all know how to do that.” What IS this from? It’s in my memory like it’s a commercial.
I’m trying to remember other tips and who told them to me. In the meantime, who taught what to you?
I remember reading an article about Mary Kay (cosmetics) and how she regretted never using moisturizer on her neck, so she always kept it covered up. Since then I’ve always made a point to always moisturize my neck!
I have a similar habit but about sunscreen on my hands and neck! My mom taught me that your neck & hands get old looking before your face if you don’t use sunscreen lotion on them…so I’ve done it since I was about 16!
I think that the ‘Elaine’ commercial with the towels was for Head & Shoulders shampoo.
There’s also a scene in scrubs where Elizabeth Banks’ character does/says the same, maybe that’s where you’re getting the Elliot bit? I’ve never seen the Elaine advert so didn’t realise scrubs was doing a parody!
I think I must be misremembering the Elaine part. I probably accidentally mentally combined an Elaine commercial with a Scrubs episode!
When I was around 15 I was looking at a fashion magazine with a friend, and she pointed out a bathing suit cut high on the legs and commented on how hard it would be to shave properly in order to wear it. It had never occurred to me that shaving that particular area was a thing. (And this was in rural Tennessee in the mid-80s; we had never heard of waxing.)
In my early 20s a nice lady at church complimented my white dress and then quietly mentioned that if you wear nude underclothing (instead of white) under white clothes, they won’t show. She was very sweet about it and didn’t embarrass me at all; I was in wonder at such a useful tip.
I’m sure I’ll think of others later; my mom is a delightful person but taught me nothing about girly things.
I was about 15, too, when a friend pointed out the exactly same bathing suit issue. I remember other girlfriends with us were voicing their agreement and I was sitting there dumbfounded that that was something girls did.
My mom is much the same. I think the majority of my “girly” knowledge came from smuggled-in Seventeen magazines. To this day I feel like I’m still playing catch-up.
I did have a great aunt who I overheard at Christmas dinner mention she used conditioner in lieu of shaving cream. My mom always used soap, so conditioner was GENIUS and something I had readily available.
OMG thanks for this. Convenient and cheap. Genius!
Nude underclothing FTW, I still remember the friend who taught me that! (And black if you are African-American or another ethniticity with dark skin tone.)
Nude-to-you, always :)
I love this post. :)
I remember watching my mom put on a bra – lean forward into the cups, then kind of lift them up into place once the bra was on. (I always wished my boobs were big enough to need that, then age and gravity sort of granted my wish.)
My grandma used to demonstrate how to put on face cream and pat it up and away –don’t rub it in and certainly don’t rub in a downward direction!
I remember showing the older ladies at work (probably in their 30s at the time) how I put on eyeliner, when I was 18. I was pulling my bottom eyelid straight out to the side to get that perfect line on the inner part of my bottom lashes. They were horrified and told me not to pull my eye like that; I’ve treated my eyes/eye lids gently ever since.
My mom got me started on choosing a daily moisturizer with sunscreen in it. It makes so much sense! Wish I’d started 25 years ago. She also mentioned that your hands and neck can be a giveaway to how old you are and those areas are also worth daily moisturizer/sunscreen. I use what’s left on my hands after applying to my face to get those areas daily.
Ok, after reading through some of these comments, I am starting to think I need a daily moisturizer with sunscreen in it!
What kind do you use?? I need to get this moisture party started!
For a long time I used Oil of Olay SPF 15. Then my cousin started selling Rodan + Fields and now I pay way too much for moisturizer.
The scene you’re thinking about is actually from Scrubs, which is why Elliott makes an appearance in your memory! Dr. Kim Briggs (Elizabeth Banks) walks into the women’s locker room and tosses a towel to Laverne, Elliott, and another woman. They all do the fast hand scramble motion and we hear the fwip-fwip-fwip sound and every woman’s wet hair quickly becomes be-turbaned. Kim, impressed, says, “I just love that every woman knows how to do that!”
Oh! So I am placing Julia Louis-Dreyfus in there wrong! It’s funny that I thought the Elliot part was in doubt but was sure about Elaine!
My great grandma owned a womens dress shop back when it was very rare for women to own businesses. She was so stylish and always had an aura of confidence. She told us to buy the best quality of clothing we could afford. She said it is better to have 4 pairs of great fitting slacks than 10 pairs that fit okay and are made poorly. This may seem like an obvious thing to some people but I always think about it when I buy things for myself. As with many things, the quality is more important than the quantity.
My FIL has a saying, “Buy the best, and cry once.” I’m not very good at doing it with clothes – I try to, but I always get suckered into $5 shirt sales at Target – but my husband and I try to keep it in mind for bigger purchases.
That is Elizabeth Banks’ character Kim saying that in a Scrubs episode! I thought of that scene as soon as I saw your title.
I started using Oil of Olay on my face,neck and hands at 18. I think I got a sample at school and just got all kinds of hooked. Thanking myself now!
When I was in maybe 6th grade I heard using Vaseline on your eyelashes helped them grow and also mimicked mascara. I don’t think this worked but I certainly tried it. Vaseline was my mom’s go to, still is, and is now mine too.
My daughter is just hitting the age of having to learn about hair removal – something I had to figure out on my own. I’ve told her what works for me, and given her some of my supplies, but also warned her that I don’t think most people opt for what I do, and my hair is naturally fairly fine and sparse and it looks like she won’t be as lucky as me.
This is what works for me:
1) dry shaving my armpits over the sink before showers – this only results in razor burn with a new disposable razor, so I have to be ginger about it for a few weeks before it dulls a bit and becomes easier to use. I use a razor until it literally stops cutting the hair, so a disposable razor probably lasts me about a year. No razor burn, no lotions or creams required, no ingrown hairs, takes literally 30 seconds or less. Works like a charm.
2) I use one of those little machines to rip the hair out of my legs. I only really need to do it in certain patches below the knee where the hair grows a bit thicker and darker (notably the front of my shin and on one side of my calf), but I buzz the whole below-knee area. Takes 10 minutes, about once a month.
3) I use the same machine to keep the hair on my lady bits tidily short and tend to do it at the same time as my legs, but I only have a few that are outside the bikini line and those I tweeze off when I notice them coming in.
My mom taught me how to use lipstick to add a bit of color to your cheeks in a pinch. And that clear nail polish can stop a run in your nylons from spreading. She also taught me how critical good posture is: hold your shoulders back and your head high, and you’ll look taller, slimmer, and more confident.
I remember reading an article about Jaclyn Smith in the 70/s (my favorite Angel) where she said she used Vaseline as her moisturizer. I’ve been hooked on Vaseline ever since, though I don’t use it as a moisturizer. It’s my makeup remover, lip balm, dry patch healer, itch calmer, just all around best personal care product. So funny that I still remember that!
I’m a fellow Vaseline addict! I use it on my lips, feet at night (add socks, and wake up to baby soft feet, but be careful in the shower!), on chilblains, rashes, makeup removal. I think I started before Jaclyn Smith! I remember when I was a freshman in college, way back in 1979-after I got to know my floormates, one girl asked me why I wore makeup to bed. I didn’t wear makeup at all, so asked what she meant-she said “you always wear lip stuff!”. Such is the power of the Vaseline shine!
I’m white with light brown hair. It had never even considered waxing my eyebrows until I went to college and all my friends of different ethnicities were discussing hair removal. Yes, I can pluck, but they still look SO MUCH better waxed. I think my mom started waxing hers around the same time.
A roommate I had when I was 25 was doing makeup for me before an event of some sort when she casually mentioned the wrinkles at the corners of my eyes (a family trait, we start early). Since then I have been religious about moisturizer and avoiding the sun.
This reminds of a line in TKAM where Scout is spending time in the kitchen with Calpurnia: “She seemed glad to see me when I appeared in the kitchen, and by watching her I began to think there was some skill involved in being a girl.”
Great quote!
Ooooh, I love this. I can’t remember who taught me things like that – certainly wasn’t my mother. She didn’t believe in such vain things, and didn’t want to encourage me in things like makeup, leg shaving, etc. I remember finding out the hard way about shaving – I used a dry razor on my fuzzy legs, for the first time ever, and was horrified at the bumpy rash all over my legs. I was sure I had some weird disease or something, then my mom was furious at me for shaving. I probably picked up most of my beauty tips from Seventeen magazine, or Sassy. The one thing I remember is a girl I waitressed with telling me about thong underwear, and how it was the best for no panty lines. Her name was Jennifer.
One tip I don’t recall where I learned is to use your ring finger to apply eye cream or makeup or anything around the eye area–since it is not your dominant finger, you are more gentle with it for the delicate skin areas.
Otherwise I learned a lot from my mom, and probably magazines. When I was 13 or so, my mom hosted a Beauticontrol party for me and some friends. The lady did our colors, and went through regular face washing and moisturizing maintenance and then we got to play with makeup. That taught me a lot.
I suppose my daughters will learn a lot of their tips from YouTube too! I have watched makeup videos on there (I will figure out how to do cat eyeliner someday!) and I love watching that stuff.
My mom was never into beauty routines etc so I taught myself about shaving etc, but didn’t realize I should/could wax my brows until the woman I hired to do my makeup for my wedding mentioned it (I was 30!). However, my mom taught me to balance the checkbook and to wear a slip under a dress so it doesn’t stick to tights etc. My high school BFF taught me how to throw a football in a perfect spiral. My college roommates taught me how to put on eyeliner. Funny the things I specifically remember learning from various people!
My sister taught me the turban. Also, leg shaving and eyebrow tweezing. She’s 5 and a half years older than me.
I only learned about daily moisturizing recently and still haven’t made it a habit. I do it when I remember to, and that’s about it.
I was an avid towel turban user until my fancy hair dresser (who I adore) taught me the best trick for hair that tends to get frizzy- use old cotton t-shirts to dry your hair. Towels tend to cause more frizz, but old shirts are super soft and very absorbent. I usually need at least two to dry my thick hair- and often leave it up in the turban overnight to get nice waves in the morning.
How fun – yes, my mom taught me the turban and to moisturize using – what else? – Oil of Olay – funny how many of us grew up using that.
I love this topic, but wondered if you might consider another one. Another “I love how we all know how to do that” but maybe cooking related, or housekeeping. Makes me sound like a hausfrau, but I think back to my first year with my husband, in 1993. For some reason I thought that 2 teaspoons equaled a tablespoon. All my cooking life, and I was 32 when we met! So all the baking I did over the years, which I did a lot of, was a teaspoon off because I never had a full set of spoon measurements, I always used the teaspoon.
That is an example of what I didn’t learn, but I would love to hear the words of advice that have been handed down through the years. Like dust before you vacuum, and when you dust, start at the top and work your way down. Simple, right? Yet I never thought about that till someone mentioned it to me.
I was just thinking today about a similar post about cooking!
yes! I have this unopened crockpot I’ve just been staring at because everyone swore to me crockpot meals are super easy ??
If I can’t cook it in a crock pot, I barely can cook it! Hunk of pork + bbq sauce = pulled pork! Hunk of beef + carrots and potatoes = pot roast. Chicken + salsa + creM cheese = tacos! I never ever brown anything first–that defeats the purpose of one pot cooking n my mind. (Other opinions at). I just stick meat + sauce in in the morning on low all day. Oh! And you can do baked potatoes–just a little oil in the bottom, a sprinkle of water, and that’s it. Someone once pointed out that a crock pot is basically a convection oven in terms of heat coming from all but one side, so anything you can bake in an oven can (slowly) bake in a crock pot. The crock pot saved me.
My mom didn’t teach me much in the way of beauty tricks or girly stuff, but she did show me how good you feel after a total-body exfoliation. We keep a sugar scrub in the tub for that.
I made my friend in 9th grade show me how to file my nails properly. In 10th grade I spied a friend pulling a tampon out of what we called “the forbidden pocket” in her purse, and I stopped carrying tampons in my pocket.
And I helped my kiddo pluck her eyebrows for the first time herself today. **ciiiiiiiircle of liiiiiiife**
I remember at some point early in my marriage taking my hair down from the turban in front of my husband and he was like “Holy cow! Your hair is UP INSIDE the towel! How do you even do that!.” He’s a very competent person who seems to know how to do everything, so I’ve been tickled ever since that the turban was such a mystery to him.
I think all women know how to put a hair elastic into their hair and also how to pull their hair into a decent ponytail. My husband cannot put a ponytail on my daughter to save his life… it’s pretty amusing!
Not to be a killjoy, but actually no one should be putting their hair into a turban of any kind whether using a towel or a t-shirt etc. The way it puts the greatest amount of strain/pull on the hairs around the hairline is what leads to breakages and the constant short flyaways there. The best thing is to blot dry quickly either right way up or upside down (head) and then put the towel around your shoulders under your hair and then fold the towel up to sandwich the hair lengths and allow the towel to ‘hug’ out the moisture with it around neck/shoulders for about five minutes.
Equally, when putting on scent (perfume) one should spray/dab on each pulse point separately as the old-fashioned rubbing method actually ‘bruises’ the scent and causes it to both change and to deteriorate faster. Sorry ☹️
I think “Not to be a killjoy, but” should be eliminated from this comment, since it is ABSOLUTELY killjoy. OWN your joy-killing, sister!
I’m not actually looking for 100% True and Never Disputed By Anyone Beauty Facts on this post—more just, what did people learn, and who was it who taught them. (And I am absolutely going to continue turbaning my hair and lightly-touch-dabbing my perfume.)
OMG! This is going to sound so dumb, but you just changed my life with the whole face washing with a wash cloth thing. I have never figured out how to wash my face properly (I’m in my 40s for GODSSAKES!) I always use the bend over and splash water on my face thing and I HATE it because it goes everywhere and the front part of my shirt is always soaked and the counter and it drips everywhere. or I tried those disposable wipes but they irritated my face. So, then I just kinda quit doing it because it was so terrible whichever way I did it. Then I tried smearing face cream on and wiping it off. Nothing was ever right. I never, ever, considered using a wash cloth for the actual washing part. I just tried it and it was amazing. I guess its slightly more laundry now (because I can’t imagine you re-use that sopping wet one, right? You must have to get a new one every time? And then wait for the sopping one to dry before putting it in hamper, right?) Still. This just changed my life.
I wish I had learned this sooner, but I use a baby washcloth (fine terrycloth) and oil of olay moisturizing cleanser in the shower for my face to gently exfoliate, then I moisturize with a vitamin E cream right after, and my skin has never looked so good! I’ve even gotten compliments on it since I started doing this!
Mind you, I don’t wear makeup more than a couple of times a year, so I don’t need to wash my face every night before bed – I can just do it when I shower, which is often in the evening after the gym every other day.
I do reuse the same washcloth, usually for a week: I wring it out and hang it up between uses. But I also reuse my bath towel for a week, and I know there are many people who use a fresh one each day. It depends somewhat on climate: in some places, damp stuff gets mildewy almost right away. When I’m done with a washcloth, I hang it over the edge of the laundry basket—or more commonly, I gather up towels and washcloths all at once right from the bathroom, and bring them all to the washing machine together.
Yes this. The only time I get a new one within the week is if I forgot to lay it out nice to dry after the last time.
My mom is practically hair-free and I am very hairy, so I had to figure out all my own shaving and plucking. But she taught me everything I ever needed to know about undergarments: how to fit a bra properly, what a good bra can do for you, why you need nude T-shirt bras, how to stop a run in hose, when and why to wear a slip. (I don’t own a slip or hose any more. Just warm opaque tights for winter. But still.)
My mom didn’t wear any makeup except lipstick. I’m pretty sure I learned everything about makeup from magazines, and therefore looked like a raccoon with blue eyeshadow and pale pink lips for quiiiiiiite a bit of high school. I still have no idea how to wax eyebrows or use an eyelash curler. But my mom taught me to wash my face (she gave me Noxema! The nostalgia of that smell!) and moisturize and use sunscreen. Bless her heart; I am so grateful.
When I was in high school, I read in a magazine that the way to get perfectly matte lipstick is to put a thin layer on your lips, then a layer of face power over it, and than another, thicker layer of lipstick over the whole thing. It looked…weird. But I kept doing it anyway, because I thought of it as my Special Secret Tip.
A girl I was in a play with in high school taught me a trick for getting curls that stayed put: drench a section of hair in hairspray, curl it with a hot iron, and then spray it again. Doing so makes your hair literally SIZZLE, but she insisted it wouldn’t cause damage. (Not sure about the validity of that statement, but I believed it at the time.) It made your hair crunchy, but those curls weren’t going anywhere.
When I was about sixteen, my best friend taught me that using your finger to apply eyeshadow works better than the cheap foam applicators.
Another friend taught me that if you melt the tip of your eyeliner pencil with a lighter right before you put it on, it will go on more smoothly and come out darker.
I have a vivid memory of my aunt letting me try on her lipstick when I was little, and showing me how to rub my lips together to even out the color.
My mom has given me more beauty tips than I can count, but for some reason the one that stands out to me the most is to use conditioner instead of soap when you shave your legs. She says it makes your skin smooth and prevents razor burn.
I never tried it, but I remember reading a JLo interview in which she said “Burn it!” about eyeliner. Ha!
In about 9th grade, my summer camp counselor explained to a whole cabin full of girls how you used tampons. Until then, I wasn’t brave enough to try. She even did a demonstration in the bathroom sink showing us how they expand. I am so grateful for that candid discussion!
My grandma taught me to always blot my lipstick because it helped it stay on longer (but does it really??).
A magazine said to make an O with your lips and then swab the inside bit of your lip with your finger to avoid lipstick on your teeth.
My mother also lights her eyeliner like someone mentioned above.
My mom always told me to put lemon juice on my hair for natural highlights in the summer.
I have a very similar recollection of a lipstick trick that a friend’s older sister taught me – once you’ve got your lipstick on, put your pointer finger in your mouth and close your lips around the base of the finger. As you slowly pull the finger out (dear god, writing it all out is even MORE awkward than actually doing it), it takes with it any of the lipstick that’s gotten on the inside of your lips, that would later end up on your teeth! I still do it every time I wear a boldly colored lipstick. (And it’s always entertaining when a friend sees me do it for the first time – it takes a minute to figure out WTF is happening, for sure!)