Our 10-year anniversary is this year, and Paul wants to buy me some jewelry. (Okay, fine, so I told him he had to. Let’s move on.) He’s asked me to give him some ideas, not as in “Choose from A, B, or C,” but more like, “Gold not silver, and please no heart-shaped pendant necklaces.” He said it would be helpful if I showed him some examples of items I liked, and some examples of items I didn’t.
I started out thinking this would be a fun project, but I’m overwhelmed already. There are too many choices, too many stores to look at, and too many of the available items all look the same to me but have wildly different prices. The whole diamond clarity/color issue is why we didn’t do an engagement ring and instead spent more on our wedding bands: we kept trying to figure out whether a this-grade diamond was worth this much or that much, and pretty soon we didn’t like diamonds anymore. Now I like diamonds again, but I still don’t like the feeling that I need to get a B.A. in Diamondology or else I’ll get totally suckered.
When we were looking for wedding bands, we looked at a bunch of department stores and jewelry stores, but eventually bought them from this little downtown jewelry store someone recommended to us, where they made all their own stuff right there in the back. Now I wish we still lived in that area, and could go back to the same store where we got our wedding bands and pick out something nice from there. But we’ve moved, and that store is far enough away that we’d have to get a flight, and they don’t have a web site, so forget it.
I wonder if we could find another little jewelry store like that one. But how would we know they weren’t selling us fake crap? Neither of us would have any idea if what we were buying was a diamond or a cubic zirconia. And now I’m thinking maybe instead of jewelry we should replace our couch, which has completely caved in on one side. I like the romance of jewelry, but I’m discouraged.
I know how you feel. I’m not particularly fond of my engagement ring (thank you husband’s jeweler uncle for taking advantage of my husband) so when we became more financially stable, my husband offered to replace my ring with anything that I wanted (not that my original engagement ring is so awful–just not exactly what I would have picked). Though it hasn’t been 10 years for us (only three in June)I found that I just couldn’t justify spending the money…and *rolling eyes* I’m somewhat attached to my engagement ring now. Although I did twist my husband’s arm and make him promise that when we reach our five year anniversary, he’ll get me an anniversary band to add to my other wedding rings (I have three-my set is thin wedding band, engagement ring, other thin wedding band). Knowing me though, I’ll find something else (more practical) that I would rather have instead. I’m so not a good romantic–I feel about the same about buying flowers too.
Me too about flowers! I’m always kind of crabby that I got a non-flower-buying husband–but if I imagine him buying flowers, I also imagine being appalled at how much money they cost. “Oh, honey, that’s so romantic…you didn’t pay more than $40, did you?”
In fact, I don’t think I’ve appreciated expensive romantic gestures since we had separate bank accounts. THAT’S when I enjoy seeing a little luxury. Once it’s a joint account, I’m too aware of what else we could have spent the money on–and of course I know exactly what he spent.
I would try to not get too stressed about it, and just pick out something you really really like. I picked out my engagement ring because I immediately thought, “Oh, I LOVE that” and could see myself loving it for years and years. I didn’t get wound up about if the stones were such and such quality. I just love it.
Okay, I am a bit of a romantic, but the whole joint account thing does ruin it sometimes, I agree. The very thing that makes a gift romantic is that it doesn’t matter how much it cost or didn’t cost, it’s the grand gesture of it that’s the point. Which is why I can’t stand it when someone gets me an amazing gift and I am blown away, and then they ramble on and on about what a great deal they got on it, as though knowing this will make me like it more! I mean, I suppose if I had to choose I would prefer that they got a great deal, but that’s not what I want to think about five seconds after I’ve opened it!
Well, you could give him basic patterns of things to go off of, not specific pieces. Because it’s generally the basics that confuse many men. take, for instance, my husband:
I once pointed to a pair of pearl earrings and said, “those are nice.” Now, every piece of jewelry I get from him is made of pearls. However, the pieces are wildly different in other ways, and most of the necklaces on the clunky end. I had to finally tell him this christmas that I have enough pearls to last me a lifetime, and that I do not like necklaces with big chunks of stones or metal or whathave you on them.
But the reason he got me pearls again and again and again? He has this pattern in his head, and the pearls fit the pattern. The pearls WERE the pattern. The chunky, clunky necklaces were because his mom likes those kinds of necklaces. That’s the only kind of necklace he ever paid attention to.
So, I’d suggest giving him 3 examples or so that represent all the basics you can think of, maybe labeling them (exhibit A, a silver necklace on a delicate-looking chain with an oval locket pendant. Note the simplicity and the length of the chain, not too long, not too chocker-style; etc). Then, let him go at it.
Hi Swistle
Look at this site:
http://www.olagorieshop.com/index.html.
I’m Scots, therefore prejudiced, but search on the ‘Robert Burns pendant’, which my OH gave me for a wedding anniversary, and tell me it isn’t romantic! Plus, you could afford a new sofa too!
Chris
Chris: Pretty! Here’s the link for anyone else who wants to goggle the pretty-pretty: Robert Burns pendant.
I kind of like things with romantic little sayings on them like that. Not “You ‘n’ Me 4eva” but more like a ring my soulful college boyfriend gave me that said something like “And she was as fair as is the rose in May.” Nice.