Courtney writes:

My husband and I need help naming our first child, a baby girl, who is due to arrive at the very beginning of April. I’m Courtney and his name is Joel with the last name of F-urn (but it’s spelled like the plant). We cannot agree on any sort of name. We plan on having 3-4 kids, so the thought of naming a sibling is in my head. I love older names (Charlotte) and he loves extremely popular names right now (Sophia and Olivia). One of the problems comes in because I teach high school and I have MANY students who I would never want to name my child after (which is why I am adamantly against Olivia). I love the idea of using family names but between the two of us, the only decent family name is Elizabeth, which is my middle name. Right now I am leaning towards Elizabeth as a middle name because everything seems to go with it and because of the family connection. I am Southern so I am definitely open to the double name; my husband also likes the double names except it seems that everything is paired with Beth. I want to stray away from all the Kaleeys, Baileys, etc. I want a name that is decidedly feminine (no gender neutral names or anything with a gender neutral nickname). One of our other requirements is that it is 2 syllables, since we have a 1 syllable last name. Our favorite name is Lily, but there is no way we could ever name our daughter Lily Fern (as a teacher I would laugh out loud seeing that on a roster).

His choices:
Olivia
Sophia (and call her Sophie)

My choices: (I really like the letter C in case you can’t tell)
Charlotte
Caroline (this is lower on my list)
Cecilia
Chloe
Claire (although it only has 1 syllable and he veotes it because it’s the name of a Kardashian)
Emma (but it is SO popular right now with little girls)

My hesitation comes in giving my daughter the same initials I have and I don’t want to name my child after myself (which is what my husband’s sister did). I prefer to not be in the top 10 names, but it seems like the styles we like are all on the top 10 list. I feel like I’ve searched through every website and and every book (including the Baby Name Wizard, which I know you recommend). I’m hoping you and your readers can offer some help!

Thanks so much!!

 
I am a little embarrassed to have Kardashian trivia easily at hand, but there it is: you have a subscription to People magazine, you pick up on certain things. I don’t think there are any Kardashians named Claire (or as they’d certainly spell it, Klaire). There is, however, a Chloe, which they spell Khloé. (The others are Kourtney, Kim, Kendell, Kylie, and Casey who must feel quite left out, but Kris didn’t name her so what can you do.)

So that would put Claire back on your list, except I agree it’s choppy with the one-syllable surname. Instead I suggest Clara. Clara Elizabeth F-urn. I think sharing your initials and middle name is sweet, without being very noticeable or seeming like an obvious namesake.

You’re right, Emma is very popular. Gemma, however, is not. Gemma Elizabeth F-urn.

Because you have Cecilia, I’ll suggest Cecily. Cecily Elizabeth F-urn.

Cecilia also makes me think of Felicity. It depends on how you feel about alliteration, but I think Felicity F-urn is pleasingly whimsical without overdoing it.

The suggestion of Sophia always makes me think of Fiona, because of the similar sounds. Then Fiona and Sophia make me think of Bianca, because that’s another one with a similar rhythm. Fiona again depends on how you feel about alliteration.

A less common version of Olivia is Liviana. It gives you the nickname Livvie—similar to your favorite Lily but without the botanical association.

Another name with a similar sound is Lydia. The nickname Liddy is again reminiscent of Lily.

Another name with a good strong V sound is Genevieve.

Mulling over Sophia and Olivia brought Sabrina to mind. Sabrina F-urn.

If your favorite name is Lily, I wonder if you would like Milly. It can be short for Amelia, Camilla, or Emeline, all of which seem compatible with the other names on your list.

Or Lila. I’d caution that I think Lila along with its alternate spellings is heading for the Top Ten—but many names look as if they’re heading that way before hovering nicely in the non-top-ten Top Fifty.

Or Jillian, with the nicknames Jill and Jilly.

Or Willa is so pretty. Willa F-urn.

Another goes-with-almost-everything middle name I like is Louise, especially since then it gives you Lou for nicknames. Gemma Louise becomes Gemma-Lou; Clara Louise becomes Clara-Lou; Lydia Louise becomes Liddy-Lou.

Name update! Courtney writes:

I wanted to email you and let you know that we finally decided on a name for this baby. We are going with Lila Elizabeth. I think you are right about it becoming a popular name because we know of a couple other Lila’s being born this year also, which is fine with me. I cannot thank you and the readers enough for helping us decide on a name for this baby.

Thank you for your help!!

Jolene writes:

I’ve been following your blog for a while, and have really enjoyed the baby name advice you’ve provided to others… so I figured I’d give it a go and ask you our question. We are expecting our first child any day now (Due date Dec 20) and are having some trouble deciding on a Girl’s Name. (We still don’t know the sex, boys names aren’t quite so contentious… we both agreed on Malcolm Marshall without too much arguing)

Our last name is kind of long… sounds like “Donaldson”. Before getting married I had a fairly short name (2 syllables first name, 2 syllables last name) so I’m a bit intimidated by the length of our last name in pairing it with other names.

My husband is in LOVE with the name “Andromeda” for a girl, and maybe using the nickname “Andi” for everyday. I do like the name, but I wonder if it’s too much of a handle for a teeny little girl – it’s really long, and uncommon where we live. When she grows up, she could use a shortened form – like Andi, Romi, Meda, etc – but I wonder if we might not be better off to use the nickname right from the beginning. I really love the name Andi, and it fits well with my own middle name.

My proposal is Andi Lynn “Donaldson”… but the husband is insisting that it must be Andromeda Lynn “Donaldson” and still call her Andi everyday.

Are we asking for trouble with such a long name? If we plan on using the nickname every day, is it better to just have that be her legal name?

Thank you for your time :)

 
In some cases, I like a more formal/serious given name to fall back on. In other cases, it seems silly to force a formal name that will never be used. In general, I lean toward OPTIONS, and so I lean toward formal names with nicknames, rather than nicknames-as-given-names. But it has to be case-by-case, because there are so many issues to consider.

In this case, I am charmed by the father’s love of the name, and I am persuaded by the easy nicknames. The name Andromeda is no longer than the name Elizabeth; and although Andromeda Donaldson would be a mouthful with all those D sounds, I see from your email address that the actual surname is a much nicer fit. It doesn’t seem too long to me at all, especially with a short middle name.

If you’re willing to go with Andromeda, and if you don’t think it will cause you problems later when choosing sibling names, I vote for making it the given name, and then using Andi as an easy nickname for any community. Let’s have a poll over to the right, to see what everyone else thinks. [Poll closed; see results below.]

Name update! Jolene writes:

Our little girl arrived on December 30, 2011 of course… And we decided to go with the name: Andromeda Lynn Richardson… But with a twist – were calling her Romy for short.

She’s a sweet little girl, and though we’re completely exhausted, things are finally starting to even out a bit as far as a routine goes.

Thanks to you and your readers for your opinions on the name. I’d be interested to know what the final tally was on the poll as well. We only had one person have a really negative reaction to the name (unfortunately my father in law) and he’s saying that he wants to call her his “little Annie” instead of Romy. If they want to have that little thing between them maybe that’s ok in the end? We’ll deal with it as it comes I guess :)

Thanks again!

Jen writes:

Hi Swistle!
Here we are, baby #3 and you would think we’ve never done this naming business before. But, we are stumped. I think that we could name a gaggle of girls, but now that we are faced with naming a boy, we are stuck. We have 2 girls, Tatum and Campbell. There was a short list when naming both girls, but the one name that kept creeping up during both of their births was Barrett. Any other names have long since been forgotten.
As we consider names, we definitely want something that isn’t too popular. My husband and I are Jennifer and Jason, complete with my brother, another Jason and his sister, another Jennifer. I would love for my children to only be identified by their first names and not by their first names and the first initial of their last name like we all had to deal with throughout our lives. Since our girls names are more masculine, we want a boy’s name that is different, but doesn’t take on too much of a feminine quality. My husband is also beginning to fight for names that are more “normal” but I still want to stay away from popular. I guess we are trying to find a middle ground that might include a mainstream name, but not too mainstream.
Our last name is a verb that ends in -er, so most names with an -er ending are out. I am also not a fan of many of the -den names like Caden, Braden, Jaden and Brendan. Our family is oversaturated with biblical names including Samson, Samuel, Seth, Silas, Gabriel, Simon and Shadrach, so I’d like to avoid duplication of those. The only other semi-restriction we have on names is that we would like to avoid a name that lends itself easily to a nickname. While we still love Barrett for a boy, we are worried about him being called Barry. A name that could be shortened isn’t out, but we’d have to consider it carefully.
We aren’t set on a middle name yet, although we are considering both Jason and Brett. These aren’t set in stone though because we are more concerned with figuring out the first name. The current list of names only includes names that I like and my husband is mostly indifferent about. Unfortunately, he hasn’t brought any names to the table, so I’m stuck. My list includes: Cullen, Graham, Elliot, Griffin and Reed. If I could get past the popularity issue, I also like Landon, but in my mind, it’s out because it’s so common these days. Names that have been rejected include Jace, Stellan, Gage, Deacon, Atticus, and Slade.
Any suggestions you could provide would be greatly appreciated. Our boy is expected to arrive at the end of January and I’m starting to get a little nervous since we seem to be at a standstill.
Thanks!

 
Barrett sounds like a very good choice to me. It’s unusual but not unheard-of, and I suspect you could avoid Barry (though he might one day choose it for himself). (I became more fond of the name Barry, too, after having a smart/cute/funny one as a co-worker.)

There’s also Merritt, but with the sibling names I think it sounds too feminine. (I think it would be a great option if later on you have another girl. Beckett, too, would be a great name for a third girl.) (Now I’m getting really off-topic, but Jenson would be charming for a girl, if you liked the idea of combining your names—or you could say she was named for her aunt and her uncle! …Okay, now I will get back to work.)

If you want to move slightly more mainstream but without losing the no-surname-initial-required thing you’ve got going so far, I suggest using surname names that have mainstream nicknames. Bennett, for example: it continues your surname theme, but with the mainstreame nickname Ben. Tatum, Campbell, and Bennett. (I realize this completely ignores your preference for non-nicknameable names, but I still think it might work as a compromise idea.)

On the topic of Ben, in school I had a classmate named Benton. Tatum, Campbell, and Benton.

Similar to Bennett/Ben is Nicholson/Nick. Again, it’s a mainstream nickname with an unexpected full version. Tatum, Campbell, and Nicholson.

Another: Davis. He can use Dave if he wants to (though it was only in thinking of it with Bennett and Nicholson that I realized that was an option), but the name Davis is handsome and unusual and masculine. Tatum, Campbell, and Davis.

Another: Anderson. I don’t think I’d use the nickname Andy, but it would be nice to have it available. Tatum, Campbell, and Anderson.

Or Edison, handsome AND smart, and with the potential nickname Ed if he wants it. Tatum, Campbell, and Edison.

Or Robinson, which gives you Rob. Tatum, Campbell, and Robinson.

Or Jacoby, the unusual surname version of the fully mainstream name Jacob. Tatum, Campbell, and Jacoby.

I wonder if you’d like Aidric? It has a familiar/traditional sound (Aiden/Eric), but it’s uncommon. Tatum, Campbell, and Aidric.

Keaton is familiar but not overly common. Tatum, Campbell, and Keaton.

This would be such a good sibling group for an honor surname. Maybe an old family surname, for something both uncommon and familiar? Or the surname of a favorite author or scientist or actor?

We just recently discussed the name Lennox, so it’s on my mind. Tatum, Campbell, and Lennox.

One of my favorite boy surname names is Lawson. Tatum, Campbell, and Lawson.

Another of my favorites is Lincoln. I love the nickname Linc, and its familiarity as a surname makes it feel more traditional/mainstream. Tatum, Campbell, and Lincoln.

Another is Sullivan, with the nickname Sully. Tatum, Campbell, and Sullivan.

I like Malcolm for you. It’s unusual, it’s all boy, and it ties the sibling names together with a subtle M theme. Tatum, Campbell, and Malcolm. Actually, now that I write it out, I think it might have too many sounds in common with Campbell.

I like Everett even better. It’s similar to Elliot (I think in this sibling group, Elliot might be too feminine), it’s boyish and surnamey, it’s uncommon but familiar. Tatum, Campbell, and Everett.

Name update! Jen writes:

I’m excited to tell you that he arrived on January 24th. At a healthy 9 lbs, 12 oz. and 21 1/2 inches long, he is loving the attention from big sisters Tatum and Campbell. And his name? Lincoln Brett!
Thanks for all your help, we couldn’t be happier with our name choice!

Debbie writes:

I’ve only recently found your site and I’m so impressed with the thoughtfulness and creativity of the names you suggest. Please help!

Our baby girl is due in three weeks and my husband and I are stuck in a naming rut. It’s not that we disagree, but we are not completely in love with our list and nothing new seems to be jumping out at us. We like classic names that are preferably not extremely common or very unusual.

Our 2 year old son is named Samuel John, which I suppose is not uncommon. However, naming Samuel was easy as my husband had always had this name in the back of his mind (after his grandfather – another boy would be called Henry), but we are struggling to think of girl names that are both pretty and say ‘take me seriously’.

Our surname is relatively uncommon where we live, starts with M and has two syllables, like Halston and with possibly similar pronunciation issues (actually pronounced like ‘Hol’, but usually guessed incorrectly as ‘Hal’). We’d rather not use a name or nickname that rhymes with either pronunciation (eg: Holly or Callie). Our first names are Deborah and Michael.

Names that have been on the list:

Emilia (familiar sound yet we don’t know anyone with this name)

Eleanor (nn Ellie, which has a family connection)

Natalie/Natasha (for its Christmas DD connection, but don’t like nn Nat)

Evelyn (again Christmas with Eve or Evie as nn)

Jemima (not sure this works with our M surname)

Ashley (husband likes, nn Ash, I’m not completely sold on it)

Adeline (love this, nn Ada, but vetoed by husband)

Caitlin (nn Cate, too common?)

Names we like but have been used by close family/friends:

Amelia

Charlotte

Chloe

Eliza

Helena

Isabelle

Madeleine

Rachel

Mackenzie (this one is left of field given the rest of our list, but husband likes it. Has been used by a couple of friends).

Names considered and rejected:

F names like Freya, Frances, Felicity

Anything that sounds like Sam, such as Samara, Camilla, etc

As mentioned, names that sound like they rhyme with our surname.

At this stage I think we’d use Emilia as either a middle name or a first name (although I’m not sure about nicknames Emmy, Em or Milly with our surname). If we use it as first, for middle we’d probably try to find a short name in keeping with Samuel’s, perhaps something like Claire, Kate, Leah or Beth.

Samuel was early and this naming problem is starting to keep me awake at night, just when I need my sleep!

Thanks so much

 
Looking at your lists, what stands out to me is that you mostly like common names—but you’re trying to avoid them, and this could be what’s making you feel stuck. I’ll try to gear my suggestions toward less-common options, but also it’s fine to choose a very common name if you LIKE very common names. Common isn’t what it used to be: even the top ten is not necessarily the kiss of death.

Emilia is not very common, but it feels significantly more common than it is because of all the Amelias and Emmas and Mias. And I agree with you that the nicknames are not ideal with your surname: so much M and L. I also agree with you about Jemima: that’s a lot of M with your surname.

The name Emeline might just switch us from one frying pan to another, but I’m mentioning it anyway because of Madeleine on your can’t-use list.

Caitlin and Ashley are finally on the way down after years of high popularity: their decades of commonness and huge number of spelling variations make them feel even more common than they were, and I think I would avoid them at this point–especially since they don’t meet your classic/traditional preferences.

Instead of Ashley, I wonder if you’d like Audrey or Aubrey?

One of my favorite “pretty but serious” girl names is Genevieve. It has the Eve you like from Evelyn, and it’s a nice old name. It might be a little rhymey with your surname, though.

Another of my favorites is Eloise, and it reminds me of Eliza and Helena and Evelyn and Eleanor from your list. As with Genevieve, the “ee” sound might be too rhymey with your surname.

I think Evelyn from your list is a very good option: it was leaping up the ranks for awhile there, but now it’s had two years in a row at #39 so it might not get to the top ten.

Eleanor too seems like a very good choice. It has the popular Ellie nickname, and also has Nora if that suits her better.

I’d thought almost for sure that Natalie was going to make it to the top ten, but the last few years it’s been hovering just outside it at 17, 13, 16, 14. I love Christmas names (more possibilities here), and think this is a great name option for you. The main (and possibly deal-breaking) downside is that I think Samuel’s nickname may make the nickname Nat even more tempting to use. “Sam and Nat” is so catchy and natural.

Sasha would give you some of the sound of Natasha without the Nat issue.

Would you like the name Noelle instead? I’m not sure if that’s too much L with the surname (and with Samuel), or if it’s just the right amount to tie it nicely together. Sam and Noelle, so sweet.

Caroline is a sweet classic choice, and has “carol” to remind us of Christmas. Samuel and Caroline; Sam and…and there’s the problem. I’ve heard of Carolines called Caro and Carrie, but it’s not as easy a nickname as Sam.

Stella is sometimes used as a Christmas baby name because it means star. I think it’s a perfect “pretty but serious” name. Again I’m not sure if the L is good with the surname or not. Sam and Stella is wonderful, as long as it wouldn’t make you feel locked into using an S name for any future children. I love Stella Joy: Samuel John and Stella Joy.

Holly is out for the way it rhymes with your surname, but Ivy is great. Ivy Emilia M____; Sam and Ivy.

I see Chloe on your can’t-use list, and I wonder if you’d like Cleo? It just reverses the vowel sounds, and yet it’s far, far less common. I love the sound of Sam and Cleo.

Another of my favorite pretty-but-serious names is Josephine. Maybe Josephine Claire, or Josephine Cate, or Josephine Noelle, or Josephine Eve. Sam and Jo.

Another is Rose: it’s become common as a middle name, but is rare and fresh as a first name. Rose Emilia; Sam and Rose.

Another is Clara. Sam and Clara.

Name update! Debbie writes:

I was so excited to read your thoughts on our list. It really helped narrow our focus. We still had a few options in mind, but when she arrived on Christmas day we knew she was Evelyn Clare. And it turns out that one of her great great grandmothers was named Eva, so there’s a family connection there too! Thanks so much for your help!

Tessa writes:

Hi Swistle!
I read your blog religiously & never thought I would be writing you about my naming indecisiveness. I have kept baby name “lists” since I was 9 years old, but it is so much harder when it’s permanent! I am 28 weeks pregnant with our second baby girl. My name is Tessa & my husband’s name is Tyson. Our last name sounds like Chaplin. Our first daughter is Lennox Elizabeth, named after my husband’s great grandmother’s maiden name. We are having a very hard time deciding on which name to choose for our final child. Help!

Since Lennox is an honor name, we would love to continue that trend (but as the middle name instead). My great grandmother’s maiden name is McKenzie, which works well as a baby girl’s middle name. That much we have agreed upon. If we were to have a boy, our short list included: Miloh, Silas, Cohen & Atticus. Looking back, we probably would have the same naming conundrum if we were having a boy! As for our small list of first names for a girl, we have 4 names that we are completely deadlocked on. I seriously have no idea how to “give up” one on the list & it would be so much easier if someone (you!) would just give us that extra push for a solid front-runner.

With Lennox (nickname: Leni) having a masculine name for a girl, I feel like the the name list we had when we were pregnant the first time are too simple & “girly”. So, our new list includes:

1. Palmer
2. Tatum
3. Piper
4. Clara

Palmer is my husband’s favorite. Palmer McKenzie Chaplin. It is commonly a boy’s name & I believe it compliments her sister: Lennox & Palmer. All of the opinions that I have sought out (on google, baby forums, ect) point all advice on staying far away from Palmer as a baby girl’s name. Everything from teasing in school to it is the “ugliest name ever” have come up. Is sticking to a generally masculine name going to set my daughter up for cruelty later in life? (My name, Tessa, was very uncommon in the 80s & I still rarely meet anyone my age with it- but I embraced the individuality of it, rather than being envious of more popular names).

I am leaning toward Tatum. Tatum McKenzie Chaplin. I know that it has been in the Top 500 names for a decade, but I like that it is considered a unisex name. I love the nickname Tate- Leni & Tate. My husband associates this name to Tatum O’Neal & all of the negative stigma that comes along with her. The only question I pose with Tatum is: is it weird to have a Tessa, Tyson, Tatum…. and Lennox? We purposefully stayed away from “T” names the first time! What about having the exact same initials (TMC) as my husband?

Piper is an appealing name to both of us, but we fear that it is becoming too popular. Some days we think that it is a happy medium between Palmer & Tatum, but also don’t want to feel like we have to “settle” just because it’s common & “cute”. Piper McKenzie Chaplin.

Clara is my grandmother’s name & the only name that we have carried from our first pregnancy name list. We both love the name but it has never been #1. It is an honor name & it has significant meaning, but is it too simple because of Lennox’s naming style? I am not sure if Lennox & Clara fits well as siblings.

We are definitely open to other suggestions. The name Wren was #5 & recently taken off our list. Our decision would be a lot easier if my husband or I could easily cross off any of these names, but we can’t. I would really like to have a name picked out before the birth, for fear of having a nameless child for days after delivery! We kept Leni’s name a surprise, even though we were 99.9% sure beforehand. With this being my last child (& juggling two childen under 2yrs old), I just want to have everything done by the time the baby gets here :) Please point us in the right direction!

I would take Clara off the list, which pains me because it’s on my own list of top favorites. It’s traditional and old-fashioned and entirely used for girls, and it’s on its way up in popularity (#167 in 2010). It isn’t that sibling names must coordinate, but the clash with Lennox (modern surname name used almost entirely for boys and not in the top 1000 for girls) is startling.

I think Palmer, Tatum, and Piper all work fine, but with downsides to each.

Palmer is the most similar to Lennox for female/male name usage; Tatum and Piper are both used mostly for girls. Palmer is also the most similar in popularity: not in the top 1000 for girls, while Tatum is #335 and Piper is #144. Palmer is also the best match in name style: it’s another clear surname name, while Tatum and Piper now sound like first names. Because of its excellent coordination, I’d vote for Palmer—except that it doesn’t have a good feminine nickname like Lennox does in Leni. For me, that would be a huge issue, and it balances the advantages of androgyny/surname coordination. In fact, after thinking it over awhile, for me it takes it off the list. (I don’t have the same feminine-nickname requirement for Tatum and Piper, because both names are already predominately used for girls.)

I think it’s fine to have three T names and one L name in the family, because the L child came first. But it does put a small strike against Tatum for me.

A mark against Piper is that it’s even more common than Clara: #144 in 2010, and rising.

The name Campbell came to my mind. Like Lennox, it’s a modern surname name; and like Lennox, it has a cute feminine nickname. Lennox and Campbell; Leni and Cammi.

Or Hollis. Lennox and Hollis; Leni and Holly.

Or Ellison. Lennox and Ellison; Leni and Ellie.

Or Winslow. Lennox and Winslow; Leni and Winnie. That’s one of my favorites.

Or Merritt. Lennox and Merrit; Leni and Merrie.

Or Maguire. Lennox and Maguire; Leni and Maggie.

Or Hatcher. Lennox and Hatcher; Leni and Hattie.

Or Padgett, which for me falls into the category of “I know it’s a girl’s name so it doesn’t need a girlish nickname.” Lennox and Padgett.

McKenzie would also be a good first-name fit, despite its relative popularity. Not only are Lennox and McKenzie both modern surname names (McKenzie is comfortably a first name now, but your spelling reminds people of its surname origins), and both great-grandmother surnames, but they sound wonderful together, all crackly and crisp. Lennox and McKenzie! I love it. You could use McKenzie Clara, and each girl would have a great-grandmother-surname first name and a traditional feminine middle name. But it sounds like you have already considered this and prefer it in the middle name slot, so I mention this only for the fun of discussing it.

I also recommend the post Choosing Between Two Finalists, which can work for more than two. Part of that post recommends seeing how you feel about the results of a poll, so let’s also have a poll over to the right for the original four candidates. [Poll closed; see results below.]

Name update! Tessa writes:

I was blown away by the awesome responses & baby name advice from your readers. You rock! I can honestly say that writing to you helped make our decision easier & we were 99% sure we had a name picked out only a few weeks after your input.

Tatum McKenzie was born one week early on February 24, 2012. She is now 2 weeks old & such a good baby!! And big sister, Lennox Elizabeth, loves her to pieces. We are so happy that we have our Leni & Tate, and our family is complete.

As soon as we started reading the positive responses about Tatum, we knew it was the winner. Also, the poll got SO many votes & we were pleased that Tatum was a favorite. We have gotten a few comments on the odd number of “T” names (Tessa, Tyson, Tatum…. and Lennox) but we are still very happy with it!

One of your readers suggested Harlow & I fell in love with that name immediately. Lennox & Harlow, Leni & Harley. I tried & tried to get my husband to switch, but I think he was already set on Tatum at that point. I loved the masculine suggestions that everyone came up with: Finley, Emerson, Harper, Rowan, and Bennett were some of my favorite “girly” boy names that we unfortunately couldn’t use due to knowing other children by those names. I also loved Hollis & Winslow (nn: Winnie) but my husband vetoed them. I cannot thank you enough for all of your advice!

R. writes:

Hi– Our last name is very “holy” and begins with an “L”!
I am 27 weeks pregnant and scheduled for my 3rd (and last) C-section on February 29th. We are super excited to be having a GIRL after 2 boys. The boys were relatively easy to name–my oldest is 7 and is Nathaniel (“Nate”) Thomas 1-ord–with Thomas being my husband’s middle name. The younger is 20 months–Zachary (“Zach” or more often “Zach-y”) Harrison 1-ord–with Harrison being an honor name for my dad, Harry, who passed away while I was pregnant with Zach.

Compounding our naming dilemma is a series of issues that have come about with the early pregnancy scans (downs syndrome scare, heart defect scare, hair lip scare, etc.) which have all turned out OK so far but caused lots of stress for the first 24 weeks or so and kind of made me worry about naming this baby too soon. (I had 4 pregnancy losses between Nate and Zach as well). Also, my mother has been recently diagnosed with cancer and is undergoing chemo right now–causing another set of family stress issues and conflicted feelings about the joy I have in this pregnancy.

Our naming style: We both like longer first names with a nickname that we use every day–but we also use the 3 names (Zachary Harrison 1-ord or Nathaniel Thomas 1-ord) when either child is in trouble (so I have to imagine saying the name in a stern tone while the child is misbehaving!). I am German/Scottish and my husband is Italian/Swedish and so far we haven’t been able to come up with any names that “go” with any of these thus our rather traditional “American” named boys. The only issue we had naming the boys was that I LOVE biblical boy names like Noah, Jonah, Josiah, Lucas etc. which, with the last name of “1-ord” really is just too much (Although both boys names do come up in the bible)! We have also chosen “family” or “honor” names for the 2 boys’ middle names so I feel pressured to do the same for this one. The problem is that my mom is Kathleen–which I don’t love as a middle–but that would be the most obvious choice. I do like Kathryn which is similar to how we changed my dad’s name to Harrison as an honor name….I don’t know how I feel about it at this point, but it is a possible middle name choice.

For this pregnancy I have made lists of girl names and then my husband shoots them down…he wants to use a name we had “picked” for the first baby that turned out to be Nate–but I don’t like the name anymore and it feels dated and already “used up” so I am unwilling to even consider it at this point.

Names I have considered:
Emilia Kathryn–right now is my top contender. I would go with Mia or Mia Kate as a nn. My problem with it is that it is pretty popular–especially when you add in all of the Amelias and Mias…have not pitched to husband b/c I don’t want to “lose” it as a name!
Bridget nn Britta or Gretchen nn Gretta–love both but husband does not like. Not sure about middle names with either
Tabitha–love, husband hates “Tabby” or “Tibby”
Daphne, Fiona, Felicity–can’t come up with usable nn’s for any of these with “1-ord”–husband doesn’t like
Abrielle or Briella–like both, but not sure about “Ella” with 1-ord–no idea about middle names for either
Alice nn Ali–like the simplicity, but not convinced it is “the one”
Brynne, Bronwyn, Brynlyn, etc. I like the idea but not the execution of these
I like Quinn as a middle name but it kind of feels like it comes out of nowhere in terms of our naming style…

I don’t want a super popular name and would like to stay out of the top 100 but it is not a deal breaker. We have never run into another Nate (mostly Nathan which I dislike as a nn) and we rarely hear of another Zach that is under the age of 12-15. Names we hear ALL THE TIME in our part of the US–and would like to avoid as names or nn’s– are: Abigail, Chloe, Lucy, Lily, Lila, Olivia, Kaylee, Kylee, Leah, Hailey, Hannah, Delaney, Isabella…I like these names and think they are cute, but they are in every daycare, preschool and primary classroom!

At this point I am at a loss–and, I keep thinking I have plenty of time to decide but we are getting a lot of pressure from family and friends regarding the name of this baby as Christmas approaches and I have a baby shower scheduled for January 14th that I would like to have personalized (if possible)! As a side note, I am an only child and my husband’s sister has no children so we have the only grandkids in the family….first and last grand-daughter comes with some pressure!

Help!

Does your mother go by Kate? That would make such a good middle name, though perhaps not with 1-ord. Or just changing the dated-sounding -een to a current -in sound might help: Kathlin is pretty. Also, Kathleen is how the U.S. initially translated the Irish name spelled Caitlin (which is pronounced more like Kathleen)—but since then we’ve also adopted the pronunciation KATE-lin for Caitlin. You could use Caitlin as a middle name, if you think your mother would feel honored by it.

But that’s always my sticking point with changing honor names: DO people feel honored, when it isn’t their name? It seems like it’s a double issue: first, it implies their name wasn’t liked enough to use; and second, they might not feel honored by a name that doesn’t feel like theirs. But people vary hugely on this, and some people are honored if even their initial is used, so this will depend on how things are in your own family and with your own mother. It helps that you’ve been through this already with your dad’s name, and have had a chance to notice your family’s (and especially your mother’s) reaction to an altered namesake name.

I am in favor of leaving it Kathleen: I think over time it will grow on you, especially if -een names make their expected comeback in the next generation or two. (Little aside: my mother considered giving me the middle name Grace after her grandmother, but couldn’t stand to give me such an ugly name. A generation later, here it is sounding lovely again and I would love to have it.) And I love middle names that add to the nickname possibilities: just as with Kathryn, Kathleen gives you Kate to pair with the first name.

Or, you could drop the idea of an honor name. It’s fairly common for families to run out of honor names they want to use, and also for families to prefer a different naming style for the girls than for the boys.

If you like Emilia but it’s too common, I suggest Emeline. (I’m thinking of the emma-LINE pronunciation rather than emma-LEEN.) Emeline Kathleen 1-ord, or Emmie Kate, or Emma Kate.

Or Anneliese? It’s German, and pretty, and I like it with the brother names: Nathaniel, Zachary, and Anneliese; Nate, Zach, and Annie.

Would your husband prefer Margaret over Gretchen? You could still use Greta, but it also opens up the possibilities of Meg, Maggie, Daisy, etc. Margaret Kathleen 1-ord. DAISY KATE. Maggie Kate. I love this name. I want it for myself.

Instead of Tabitha, would you like Agatha or Meredith or Meribeth or Bethany? I love Meredith 1-ord. Meredith Kathleen 1-ord, Merrie Kate.

Emilia and Briella make me think of Camilla. Camilla Kathleen 1-ord; Millie Kate or Cammie Kate. Same possible issue with the surname as Briella, though: a little bit of a ill-la-la with the surname.

Name updates! R. writes:

Felicity Kathleen was born on February 29th and is a happy little Leap Day baby! My mom was initially not on board with us announcing that we were using Kathleen…but now she seems pleased with the honor name (I think her “mood” about it also coincided with ending the chemotherapy–once she started to feel better, she was much more pleased with our decision). We still have not figured out a nickname that we agree on–but Zach (our 2 year old) calls her “Dee Dee” for Felicity and Baby, and so far that is her only nickname! Thank you for the input and help (and note that the headband below was a gift–but too funny not to share with the interwebs!)

 

Hello,
I was thinking the other day that I don’t read your baby naming site nearly as much as I did when I was actively having children so I re-read my question/your answer/and my update to:
Baby Girl 1-ord, Sister to Nathaniel and Zachary
and I was struck by something: We have a variety of nicknames for Felicity that I had never thought of prior to having a Felicity in the family.  That was a huge issue for using Felicity as a name—I just couldn’t get past the nickname issue (for some bizarre, pregnancy, hormonal reason).  So, I just thought that I would update you with our family nicknames in case someone else has the same issue with using Felicity as a name.

Lissy—started by our then 2-year-old, who couldn’t say Felicity.  He is 5 now and still calls her Lissy.
Lissy-Lou: which was a natural progression from Lissy; which then morphed into
LuLu (or just Lou): which is what I mostly call her—as in, “Come here LuLu” or “Lou—put that down right now!”
Luby-Lou: ?  no idea why
and my 10 year old sings a song with a verse that says:
Lissy, Lissy, Lou, Lou
Eats a lot of poo poo…which is hilarious and inappropriate!

We do call her Felicity intermittently and Felicity Kathleen when she is being a pill—Overall, it is such a fun name that I can’t believe I thought it would be hard to find a nickname that I liked.  Just thought I would share!

Thanks!
R