Emily writes:

First, I’d like to butter you up a bit by saying I really love your blog.  Well before we found out we were pregnant I read every word you wrote and have thought of your advice as the most objective and thorough naming advice on the internet.  Which is precisely why we’re turning to you and your readers.

My name is Emily and my husband goes by William (it is his middle name).   Our last name rhymes with ‘Mall”, starts with an H, and we’ve had to nix the use of “Carnegie” as a name, for obvious reasons.  We do plan on having more children but our “number” is four.  If we have less than that… splendid, but certainly no more than that.  We’re having a baby of our own (due in October) and she has no name.

If we have a boy his name will be William Bradley and he will go by “Liam” as opposed to “Bill/Billy” or “Will/Willy”.  He’ll be named after my husband and my father.  We love honor names and plan to give our little girl the middle name “Mae”.  It is her great-grandmother’s middle name just as I have my great-grandma’s middle name and so does my mother and hers.  (I know it’s a mistake to choose a middle name first but with a tradition like that how could I not?)  We have girl’s names that we like, but they all have reasons why we can’t (or won’t) use them.  The other issue we’ve considered is that we’ll never know where our children will be growing up and so we can’t gauge name popularity in a particular region.  We currently are in Doha, Qatar but who knows where we’ll be stationed next!  I wish I could say “Avery is really popular in California… luckily, we’ll never go there.  Let’s use it!”

Rather than prattle on about the agonizing I’ve been doing I’ll simply give you our list of can’t/won’t.

Reagan – this was the first name we loved and my husband decided it is a little sister name.  So he vetoed it for use on our first girl.  While I think he’s a bit odd, I won’t question his logic as long as we can use it in the future.

Avery Mae – I love this name.  I think its a lovely name that pairs well with Reagan and Liam.  I like the sound symmetry with my name but I just cannot get over how very popular it is.  I don’t want her to be one of four Avery’s in her class.  And even though I’ve heard the “If you love it, use it.  Who cares how popular it gets?” advice… I can’t move past it.

Everly Mae – I love this name like I love Avery.  The sounds, how gentle it is, and how unusual without being weird.  We would call her “Evie” if we chose this name but I cringe when I think of our daughter spending her whole life going, “It’s Beverly, without the B”.  It’s so feminine though and I do like the way it pairs with Liam.

Evelyn Mae – This name was a compromise after Everly.  I like it, but I don’t love it. And really, just can’t imagine using it.

But that’s it.  Those are all the girls names that we can come up with that we like and each one has a reason not to use it. Why on earth was a boy’s name so easy?  Any advice or recommendations you could give would be sincerely appreciated.  I am certain you and your brilliant readers can get us out of this mess.  As you can see we are up a certain creek without any means of propulsion.

 
So if this baby is a girl, we are looking for a big-sister name for a Reagan or a Liam or both. It is fun to be looking for a name for an older member of a sibling group for a change!

I agree that Evelyn doesn’t seem right with Reagan. I suggest Avelyn instead. Avelyn Mae.

Instead of Avery, I suggest Averil. Far less common than Avery, and so pretty. It is maybe a little jokey with Mae (April May), but I don’t THINK that would bother me. I’d have to think it over more. It is a lot of L with the surname, and that WITH the April/May issue might together rule it out for me.

Waverly has a similar sound to both Avery and Everly. Waverly Mae.

My favorite, though, is Everly from your list. It’s quite feminine, but it’s also a surname name and goes well with Reagan. I don’t think I’d use the helper phrase “like Beverly but without the B.” I MIGHT say “like the Everly Brothers,” but I think the most likely is that I would just say it more clearly and/or spell it, as I would with a name that didn’t have a “like this, but that” helper.

If you decide against Everly, there’s Ellery. Ellery Mae. Is it too much L with the surname? It isn’t to me, but these things are subjective.

Or there’s Ellis, or Ellison. Ellis and Regan, Ellison and Reagan—those work as sister names, I think.

To move from El- to Em-, there’s Emery and Emerson.

Or Brinley, or Finley.

Or Delaney. Delaney, Liam, Reagan—I like those all together.

Name update! Emily writes:

Last night we named our little Halloween baby, and first son, William “Liam” Bradley Hall.  He is absolutely perfect (and has the Apgar score to prove it).  Thank you for your girl name recommendations; had Liam been a girl he would have been Eleanor Delaney Hall.  Thank you so much for your help!

J. writes:

Hi Swistle,

We are expecting our second baby girl in October and would love your help with her name. Her big sister is Sloane Elinor (her middle name is after my mother), and our last name is similar to Ketler.

We tend to like shorter names that are not overly feminine. “Brisk and breezy,” one might say. =) We also like Celtic names, but that’s not a must. One of my top priorities is to pick a name that’s not too preppy or unusual. We chose Sloane’s name because of its Celtic heritage and “female warrior” meaning (and because we love the sound of it!), but I know that to some people, it reads a bit preppy.

Our top names right now (with faves at the top) are:

Tess (love this name, but does it work with the repeating hard “e” sound in our last name?)
Brynn
Eve
Eden
Nina (love this name, but does it work with Sloane?)

Sydney
Stella
Maeve

Maren
Paige
Phoebe
Teagan

For middle names, we have a bit of a conundrum. Since we used my mother’s name for Sloane’s middle name, we’d love to use my husband’s mother’s name for our second daughter’s middle name. She is deceased, and we agree this would be a nice tribute. But (and it’s a big BUT) her name was Barbara, which neither of us love. Neither her middle name nor maiden name would work, and we can’t think of any other tribute other than Barbara… other than using a “B” name, but my husband feels like this is a stretch so we shouldn’t try to force it. In fact, he’s fine with not using Barbara since we don’t love the name; I am just trying to make it work since it’d be nice to honor both grandmothers in this way.

For some reason, the only names that seem to sound somewhat ok with Barbara to me are first names that end in “a,” like Nina or Stella. Somehow they roll off the tongue a bit more. For that reason we’d maybe consider Tessa as a full name, even though we both prefer Tess.

Our other middle name options (also after family members) are:

Marion
Veronica
Diane

To give you an even better idea of our naming style, if we had a boy, we would name him Grant, Reid, Davis, Roman, or Ronan, with the middle name Benjamin. That’s probably moot, though, as we’re pretty sure this is our last little one. (But you never know…)

I’d love to hear your feedback, and the thoughts of other readers. Thanks so much!

I agree it would be such a nice honor to use your husband’s mother’s name—but I also think if you don’t like the name and it’s messing with your first name options, that there are other nice ways to honor someone without using their name. I think in your shoes I would give up on the name Barbara, and maybe put up a photo of her in the nursery.

From your list, my favorites with Sloane are Brynn, Maeve, Paige, and Teagan. Paige emphasizes the prep factor, so that one might be out; Maeve most emphasizes the Celtic connection. I keep trying to choose a favorite from the non-Paige three, but I’m stuck. Sloane and Brynn. Sloane and Maeve. Sloane and Teagan. I like all three in different but equal ways.

Tess and Nina are the two you specifically draw attention to, so let’s turn to those next. Neither of them are ones I would have pulled from the list: both are great names, but seem so different from the style of Sloane.

Sloane and Nina seems a little N-heavy, but not as I say it more often I wonder if the N sounds may in fact help them coordinate better. Sloane Elinor and Nina Veronica is growing on me.

I’m trying out saying Tess Ketler, and I can’t decide about the short-E issue. I think for me it isn’t the short-E, but more the short-E combined with the shortness of the name and the S-ending. I don’t like the sound of it in my own mouth, and I don’t like the way the names run together (Tess Sketler, Tessket)—but these things can be so subjective, with the very next person saying that’s what makes the name so great. I think Tessa Ketler helps to resolve both problems, while still letting you call her Tess. And if using Tessa also makes Barbara more pleasing as the middle name, then it might be the perfect solution: Tessa Barbara Ketler. But I also love Tessa Diane and Tessa Veronica.

Just yesterday we discussed the name Louise (with the middle name Marion, even!), so it’s fresh in my mind. Like Sloane, it has a war-related meaning, and I think the names are an interesting combination. Louise Ketler; Sloane and Louise.

When I was looking up Louise, my eye fell on the name Quinn. For me it has some of the sound of a name like Tess, but with a style more compatible with Sloane. Quinn Ketler; Sloane and Quinn. Quinn Victoria would give the name a meaning compatible with Sloane’s (something like “leader in victory”) but unfortunately sounds like Queen Victoria. Quinn Marion or Quinn Barbara are probably my favorites.

So my favorites are Maeve, Teagan, and Brynn (plus Louise). What does everyone else like from the list?

Name update! J. writes:

Thanks to you and your readers for the help in our baby naming process. We went into the hospital with a few front-runner names and ended up deciding Eve Marion fit our new daughter best. We like how it sounds with our last name, we like it next to big sis Sloane Elinor, and we like the meaning (life). Marion was my great grandmother, who was a warm, spirited woman, and my husband and I are happy to give Eve, like Sloane, a middle name from their mom’s side of the family.

After a lot of name brainstorming, deliberation, and second-guessing, it took us a long time to arrive at Eve Marion… but we’re really happy we did.

Catherine writes:

Hello!

I recently found your blog, and love the idea of impartial naming help!  My husband (Jeff) and I (Catherine) are expecting our first – a baby girl on July 14.  We started discussing baby names before we were even pregnant.  The only issue?  We had no baby girl names… Baby boy name?  Definitely checked off the list – Zeke Myers Whittaker (after my husband’s grandfather), which we still plan to use if we have a little boy at some point.

We went through a list of 4,000 girl names from the US Census – and in the end decided on the same two names we liked before going through all those names!  Our long list included Clare, Maris, Meryl, Adele, Lucy, and Penelope.  My husband really liked Kate (I thought it was too close to my name) and Caroline (I thought it was too popular).  I really liked Evelyn (Evie for short) and Hazel, but he vetoed both.

In the end, we really just keep going back-and-forth between these two…

Alice Marion Whittaker

Louise Marion Whittaker

Marion is our frontrunner for the middle name, as it was my great grandmother’s name and I love the family significance.  But what do you think about the first names?  We like them because they’re different and a little quirky without being too unusual.  Growing up as a ‘Catherine,’ it’s important to me to give our daughter a name where she won’t end up being one of 10 in her class.  I also like that both names still feel classic.

Alice means ‘noble one’ and Louise means ‘famous warrior’ (a meaning that I love).  I have liked the name Alice for years (and it is my family’s favorite between the two), but recently my husband suggested Louise.  I love that we could call her Lou or Lulu (maybe even Louie?) – all adorable nicknames.

My main concerns:  I’m just not sure if Alice is overplayed?  I feel like there has been a lot of buzz around Alice recently, and I don’t know if it has become too popular.  For Louise, I’m not sure if it is too quirky?  Maybe a little old-lady-ish? (which I originally really liked about it, but have gotten a lukewarm to negative reaction from family about).  One of my sisters even told me that Louise sounds like an ugly old lady.

We briefly considered Louisa and Eloise as similar sounding but more ‘modern’ versions of Louise – but we both decided that we couldn’t picture ourselves with a daughter named either one of those (maybe they’re just a little too modern/trendy for us?)

Lastly, I’m starting to worry that the answer isn’t either name? I keep waiting to be totally sure and have that a-ha moment, but I just feel so indecisive about naming her!

Any help would be so appreciated!  I’d love to get your thoughts. Thanks so much for your help!

and

Sorry for another email, but we are almost 4 weeks away from our due date – and still without a name!  We were pretty settled on Alice, but now know someone who recently (in May) named their baby Alice.  It’s definitely not off the table, but it did cause us to reconsider.

We have recently revisited Lucy, Penelope (it’s my great grandmother’s name – but we’d call her Penny) and Jane.

We’ve also been seriously thinking of Hazel Grace.  My maiden name is Hazle****t, so I thought it might be a fun nod to that?  Or is that too far removed, since it’s just a part of my maiden name?  We’ve been ‘testing out’ Hazel, but I’m just not 100% on it yet.  Plus some family members have made it known that they really don’t like the name (although this is not a deal breaker for us, because I think they’ll get over it once she’s born).

We’ve also considered naming her Myers – a family name that was our middle name choice, if we were having a boy.  My husband feels okay about that one, but he worries that it’s a little too different.  We also have a large neighborhood in our city (and the school that she’ll most likely go to) with the name Myers in it.

Lastly, we’re no longer sold on a middle name – and considered using the previous middle name contender, Marion, as her first name?  We’ve also been thinking of Grace or Elizabeth as possible middle names.

I’m starting to get worried about not having a name at all by her arrival – and even more worried about ending up with baby name regret because we couldn’t find one that we loved!

Any advice would be so appreciated!!

From your first letter, it sounds as if you had it narrowed down to Alice and Louise, and no amount of research was adding any further serious candidates. Then Alice was taken out of the running for you. So it sounds to me as if this brings you to Louise, but that last-minute jitters are setting in.

I think Louise Marion Whittaker is a wonderful name. It has long roots, it’s fun to say, it’s great with your chosen boy name, you love the meaning, you love the nicknames, and you’ve liked it consistently throughout this process. Your sister’s reaction tells me only that it’s time to stop asking for family input; it sounds like family input so far has made things more difficult for you, and I think you’re right they’ll come around to what you choose.

Hazel would also work well; it would give you a repeating Z if you had a Zeke later on, which can be a plus or a minus depending on your style. But it sounds like Hazel falls into the category of names you like but that don’t make it to the finalist list.

Marion seems like another good choice, if it feels like a finalist to you. But again, I’m getting the impression that this is more like anxious last-minute reshuffling/reconsidering, rather than a candidate.

Myers seems like an outlier name for you: a name you like that is not your usual style. Choosing it would make future name choices significantly more difficult (the other girl names on your lists wouldn’t work very well as sister names for a Myers), and may also later make you wish you hadn’t ruled out your perfect boy name.

If you weren’t particularly close to your great-grandmother (i.e., if you’re choosing her name from the family tree but not because you specifically want to honor her), I might like Hazle****t for the middle name instead, or Hazel. Or you could use any of the other considered names: Alice, Penelope, Caroline, etc.

Name update! Catharine writes:

Many belated thanks to you and your readers!  Hazel Marion was born on 7/14, weighing 7 lbs and 14 oz.

Your input was incredibly helpful – although, she did end up being almost 12 hours old before she had an official name!  We absolutely adore our sweet Hazel and her name – it just took some encouragement for us to tune out others!  And, much as you said, our family has come around to loving her name also.

We definitely plan to use Zeke and Louise for future siblings.  Thank you again – and hope this Christmas picture makes up for the overdue update!

Anna writes:

I am looking for a name like Jane, that isn’t Jane. Our last name starts with a J, and I dislike the alteration. Another name I like is Paige, but that won’t do, because of the “juh” sound. It doesn’t necessarily have to be one syllable, though I’m drawn to those. My three year old son’s name is Clark, and I find myself looking for the girl equivalent. Old-timey, sturdy, perhaps even a little dull the first time you hear it, but the coolness sneaks up on you?

It’s not a requirement, but I prefer names that don’t end in an “a” or an “ie” sound.

A name we’ve kicked around is Rose. But can a Rose be a tomboy? Can a Rose be a badass, superjock cop like her auntie? Could a Rose be a Senator? I’m interested on how you and the comment-ers read Rose.

Her middle name would be Gail or Louise after my mom, but for the perfect name, I would sacrifice this idea. Maybe my mother’s mother’s name, Gloria?

Thank you so much!

 
I think Rosie the Riveter did the name Rose a huge favor: now the name contains not only the associations of sweetness but also associations with strength and capability. I definitely think of it as a name with backbone, and it seems perfect for your idea of a name that is old-timey, sturdy, AND cool. Its familiarity as a middle name makes people overlook it, I think, but it’s much rarer as a first name. I love Rose Louise, and I love “Clark and Rose.” I am holding back my impulse to get PUSHY about it.

Another possibility is Eve. Ava is in fashion, and Eva is following—but there Eve sits on its own. Eve Louise; Clark and Eve.

A few years ago I encountered a baby girl named Ruth, and it has completely revolutionized the way I felt about the name. Before meeting the baby, my eyes would have skipped over the name completely (old-timey! sturdy! dull!); after meeting the baby, I felt actually STUNNED by my oversight. Ruth! Ruth Louise; Clark and Ruth.

I overheard a child at the store being called Faye, and I thought it really worked. Faye Dunaway gives the name the kind of glamor generally referred to as “Old Hollywood.” Faye Louise; Clark and Faye. Mae and Kaye are similar options.

Leigh is a name I’d like to see more often. It’s not great with the middle names (and in fact it seems like a challenging name to find middle names for), but I love it with Clark.

I’ve been starting to see Pearl on baby name lists, and I see it has just crossed into the Top 1000 as of 2007. Pearl Louise; Clark and Pearl.

Nell has the right current sound (Elle, Ella, Isabel), but is not being used. Nell Louise; Clark and Nell.

This will depend on your own community, but you know what name has shock value in my area? Mary. One of my children had a Mary in his class, and I was startled by it the entire year. I had thought if it like the name “John”: so generic as to be invisible. But as with the name John, on a CHILD it’s startling and fresh. Mary Louise; Clark and Mary.

Another possibility is Rosemary. My eye passes right over it—but then I think “Botanical! Lovely!” Clark and Rosemary.

I think Mabel would work. After the Mad About You couple named their baby Mabel, I would have expected a jump in popularity—but the name didn’t even get into the Top 1000. Mabel Louise; Clark and Mabel.

Just the other day I was thinking how the name Lynn is a name I’d place money on for a good solid comeback after it’s had a rest. The look of it makes people dismiss it, I think, but the sound is so pretty. Lynn Louise is so fun to say, and Clark and Lynn is unexpected and fresh.

Sally is one I think is nearly ready now. Sally Louise; Clark and Sally.

Many people say it was their love of the book Charlotte’s Web that led them to the name Charlotte, which makes me wonder why there has not been a similar popularity surge for the name Fern. It was on my name list, and was a name I would have liked to use for my daughter’s middle name (I sometimes go ahead and call her Elizabeth Fern anyway). I love it so much as I’m typing this, it’s pushing Rose out of the way. Fern Louise (*faint*)! Clark and Fern (*faint*)!

I think using Louise in the first-name position could have the effect you’re looking for. And Louise is one of my favorite names to say. Clark and Louise. Too close to Superman-reference Lois, though, or to explorers Lewis and Clark?

 
Name update! Anna writes:

She arrived September 18th and we decided to call her Margot Louise! It was down to Rose or Margot, and we loved both, but I found I felt sadder about not getting to use Margot than Rose, so that helped me decide. My husband liked Rose better all along, but came around when we came up with GoGo for a nickname.
Here she is!