M. writes:

If we were to go with Lucille we are thinking about possibly going with “Lucie” instead of “Lucy”.  It is funny that I think this because I always lean towards the traditional spelling of names.  However, there is something about the spelling with the “ie” that just seems softer and more feminine.  The “y” ending just seems a little bit harsher to me.  However, I don’t want people to think that I came up with some funky spelling to be unique or different.  I also don’t want to give her a name that she has to spell for people her whole life.

Until recently, I would have said that Lucy seemed like the basic spelling to me, and that Lucie seemed like it would cause more spelling hassles than I would want to deal with. But then recently we did a post on Tilly vs. Tillie, and  there was quite a bit of interesting discussion in the comments section that made me wonder if we might be on a pendulum swing from -y endings to -ie endings.

Also, I think it’s different with a nickname than with a given name: I’m not surprised to encounter girls with the nicknames Maddy and Maddie and Madi. Since you’d have spelled the full version the traditional way, it’s less likely to seem like you were trying to get unique-y with the nickname. And as she gets older, more and more often people will assume SHE was the one who chose the spelling of the nickname. (And indeed, she may change to a different spelling.) With nicknames, I think of the spelling as being less official, more open to change and choice.

The poll of the Tilly/Tillie post might not be of any use to this situation, since the question there was a different one. So let’s start a new poll over to the right—and because it was hard to represent the entire topic in a poll, we can discuss in more detail in the comments section. [Poll closed; see results below.]

[Edit: Here’s a screenshot of what the first six votes did:

I thought that was funny/neat!]

Poll results:

Emily writes:

I guess I will start off with some background info:
– My name is Emily, my husband’s name is Ian
– We are expecting our final baby, a girl, in November (I won’t give an exact date, because our last baby came 3 weeks early!)
– I have a daughter from a previous relationship, Aylin Rose (pronounced EYE-lin)
– We have two daughters together, Ruby Elizabeth & Hazel Genevieve
– Our last name has not given us any problems when it comes to ‘flow’, but it is two syllables and ends in ‘ding’
– Her middle name will most likely be Lillian, which is a family name (likewise with A, R & H’s middle names)
– Some boys names we like are Leo, Ethan, Evander & Callum
– We would prefer that her name has a different initial to the girls’ names
– I would also kinda like her name to have a different ending to the girls’ names, but that’s just me being difficult ;)

I am wondering whether or not we should go with another color name. It was a coincidence that we chose two color names, but a few people have pointed it out. We like Scarlett, and would be happy to use it, but then does the theme become tacky?

Our other fave name is probably Cora, and we also like Clover and Pilar (which are a bit more adventurous).

Further suggestions would be very helpful, especially if Scarlett is tacky for us to use.

To me, the issue with the name Scarlett isn’t one of tackiness: it’s that if you give the three daughters you had together a theme, it seems to exclude your first daughter from the group. Already her name is a different style than her half-sisters’ names; it would be so satisfying to find a name that ties them better together, rather than a name that increases the divide.

It isn’t always possible, though, to blend styles from different sets of parents. Your husband’s naming style overlaps with the part of yours that led the two of you to choose the names Ruby and Hazel, but it may be that it doesn’t overlap with the part of your style that led you to choose the name Aylin; it may be that any name that goes with the name Aylin is outside of his naming style entirely. If that is the case, I would recommend choosing a name that coordinates with the style of the names Ruby and Hazel—but not a color name that would draw attention to the difference.

The names Cora and Clover go beautifully with the names Ruby and Hazel, while leaving the name Aylin separate. A name like Pilar gives a “happy assortment” feeling to the sibling group, with the names Ruby and Hazel still matching in style but the other two girls’ names not.

As I start to look for more names to suggest to bridge the gap between the two styles of names, I see the issue: there are not many like that. With Aylin, I might suggest Brinley, Mira, Jada; with Ruby and Hazel, I might suggest Clara, Molly, Georgia. I’m not seeing overlap in the lists I’m creating.

I too prefer not to repeat initials or endings, but I might in this case deliberately match either the initial or ending of Aylin’s name to her littlest sister’s name. The name Linden, for example, is a nature name like Ruby and Hazel, but it sounds more like Aylin because of the -in/-en. Aylin, Ruby, Hazel, and Linden.

The name Aylin reminds me of Celtic names, so I might look there as well. Carys looks and sounds like a sister for Aylin, and gives you a new initial and a new ending. Aylin, Ruby, Hazel, and Carys. Three names have a Y; a different three names have five letters; all four names have two syllables.

I wonder if Nora would work as a bridge name. It’s Celtic and also a recent-rediscovery name like Ruby and Hazel, and it’s similar to Cora. Aylin, Ruby, Hazel, and Nora. It doesn’t really feel like it ties together with Aylin, though.

Aisling? Aylin, Ruby, Hazel, and Aisling? That seems to make two groups of two, and I think Aisling might be too visually similar to Aylin.

To move away from Celtic names, Ivy gives you a new initial but repeats the starting sound of Aylin, while still coordinating with Ruby and Hazel. Aylin, Ruby, Hazel, and Ivy. There are little matchings everywhere: the starting sounds of Aylin and Ivy; ending sounds of Ruby and Ivy; the Y in Aylin, Ruby, and Ivy; Ruby and Hazel both colors; Hazel and Ivy both plants. With all the mixing and matching going on, everyone seems connected.

Does anyone have more suggestions for names that help tie the group together?

Chelse writes:

My name is Chelse.  My husband’s name is Chris.  We are beyond the moon to be having a little girl, due on Valentine’s Day 2013!  We have two little boys, Finley Everette (age 2) and Henry David (age 1).  Yes, we are busy, to say the least!  Chris and I have been going back and forth about baby girl’s name and we are stuck – we are adamant that we want to steer clear of any “–y” names, for fear of being too sing-songy with a Finley and Henry, both ending with the “y/ee” sound.  Likewise, we are not wanting the baby to have a popular name (the Eva, Olivia, Ella, Clara bunch of names that are so hot right now).  We initially loved the name Georgia, but then I fell in love with the name Beatrice.  Chris is on the fence with Beatrice and says that with the perfect middle name, he would be sold on it.  So, the quest for a middle name has begun.

We would like to incorporate some element of Chris’ family into the middle name – some of the girl names on his side are Marlene, Nina (pronounced nine-a), Monahan (his deceased mother’s maiden name). 

Our last name is Dall which is fun (we have baby Dalls, live in the Dall house, etc) but also means that we don’t want a name like Barbie Dall… wink wink.

Any thoughts? Suggestions?  We so appreciate it!  This little girl is a huge blessing and we want her name to reflect the specialness that she’ll bring to our family!

To reflect specialness, I might use Beatrice Joy or Beatrice Felicity. Since the name Beatrice already means “blessed,” it’s a nice double-shot of it.

But if you want to use a name from your husband’s side, and since he thinks the right middle name would sell him the first name you love, I suggest letting him go through his family tree to choose the right one—or let him make a list of finalists, and then decide together. It makes a great naming story, too, to say her dad chose her middle name.

Linsey writes:

Our baby girl (third and last child) is due in just a few months and we need your help! My first question is: Does it have to be an “M” name?? Our four year old son is named Micah James and our two year old daughter is named Madelyn Kate (husband and I are James and Linsey, FYI). Family and friends are insisting that we have to stick with the “M” theme we have going or this baby will be “left out”. I understand what they mean as most of the names that I like that don’t start with an “M” just don’t seem to go with Micah and Madelyn. I really don’t have a problem using an “M” name except that the girl’s names we like at all are extremely popular. With the last name Wilson we don’t want anything too very popular. Micah and Madelyn are actually pushing it. Can you suggest some “M” girl’s names that compliment Micah and Madelyn without being too common? 

One name that my husband and I both love is Evelyn. It’s my grandmother’s middle name and sounds similar to Madelyn. Does that make it seem like a name that fits in with our family or is it too similar to Madelyn? We’ve talked about using my mother’s middle name so that would make Micah James, Madelyn Kate, and Evelyn Kit. Are the girl’s names just too similar? Or does Evelyn stick out like a sore thumb? And is Evelyn gaining popularity too quickly to go with a common name like Wilson? 

Another thought is that both my mother and my husband’s mother passed away before we got married. We of course would love to honor them in our naming, but didn’t end up doing so with our first daughter because we just don’t necessarily care for either the name Mary or the name Lezlie. One name that I’ve recently run across is Marilee. This kind of sounds like a combination of Mary and Lezlie and of course starts with an “M” like our other two children. What do you think of it? What middle name to you think would work well with it?

Any other name suggestions you have would be much appreciated!

Thanks So Much!

It doesn’t have to be an M name, but I see the pressure for it to be one. I think if you don’t use an M name, there may be a little whining about it at first from friends and family, but that it isn’t likely to be a big deal in the long run: hardly anyone cares very deeply what other people name their children, even if they enjoy making a bit of a fuss about it in the anticipation stage. If the third child doesn’t have any reason to believe that he or she was deliberately not given an M name in order to exclude him or her, and if you answer any questions with, “For each child, we just chose the name we liked best,” then two M names in a row doesn’t seem like enough names to establish an unbreakable theme. If, however, you LIKE another M name, then I think it is a fun theme to have.

Normally I might avoid matching endings for two names, but Evelyn seems like a great way to tie the names together without using another M name, and the front halves of the names have such different sounds. However, I don’t think I’d then use such similar middle names on top of that. If you wanted to please the people clamoring for a matched set, you could do Evelyn Jane: she’d tie in to her sister’s first name and both siblings’ middle names.

Evelyn is quite popular (#24 in 2011, according to the Social Security Administration, and continuing to rise), but the name Madelyn/Madeline/Madilyn/Madeleine is so popular (combining spellings puts it into the Top Ten), the similar popularity of Evelyn is a selling point for me.

Katelyn would also work, but is perhaps too strong a sister-name tie since it connects to both the first name and the middle name.

Jocelyn would work well.

Marilee seems like it honors neither grandmother (it’s particularly hard to imagine the family of a Lezlie feeling any honor from it), while also leading to spelling issues and Merrily puns. On the other hand, I do think people would be touched by the effort to combine the grandmothers’ names, and Merrily is a very cheerful sort of pun. If you use it, I think Marilee Jane would be pretty, or Marilee June, or Marilee Rose, or Marilee Celeste.

I’d like to segue into recommending Meredith, but I think the repeating M and D sounds probably make it too similar to Madelyn.

Mallory might be better. It’s uncommon but familiar. It does repeat the L and Y of Madelyn, but in a very different way. Micah, Madelyn, and Mallory.

More M possibilities:

Maeve
Maia/Maya
Margaret
Maribel
Mariel
Marissa
Matilda
Mina
Mira
Molly

Molly is the traditional nickname for Mary, if that would be a slight and pleasing connection to one of the grandmothers. Perhaps the other grandmother’s middle name could be used. Or I see that the name Lezlie/Leslie/Lesley is derived from the surname Lesslyn, which might make a good middle name with a parallel slight connection. Micah James, Madelyn Kate, and Molly Lesslyn. If that’s too rhymey with Wilson, maybe Lynn would be better—though by now we’re so far removed from the honor name, I think I’d just choose something you like: Molly Jane, maybe, or Molly Kit, or Molly Joy.

L. writes:

We are ready for baby number 5, our second daughter, in a few weeks. Her older sibling names are all traditional: Daniel, Amelia (Mia), Samuel (Sam), William. Our last name is Mikle (rhymes with nickle). We really like easy traditional names, but with all of the darling girl options, plus the added pressure of naming our LAST child we are feeling rather stuck. We have a middle name which will be Rae after my Grandmother, but our “perfect” first name still eludes us. Our top names are: Madeleine (pronounced “Line” not “Lyn”), Isla, Tabitha, Harper, and Emeline. Madeleine (Ellie as a nickname), would be our top pick, but I am concerned the spelling with the extra “e” and the pronunciation issue will be tedious for her. I also adore Tabitha, but only seem to get a lukewarm response from mu hubby on this name. We have also loved, but ruled out Louisa, Beatrice, Adele, and Annabelle for various family conflict reasons. Advice????

I notice that all four of the baby’s siblings have a strong L sound in their name, tying in with the L sound in your surname. I think that since this is your final child, I would make it a goal (not a trumps-all goal, but a preference) to find a strong L sound for her as well.

Three of the four names also contain an M sound to tie into the surname, and Daniel has an N sound which is very close to that. This makes Madeleine seem like a great choice: both an L sound and an M sound. I do think you’d find it challenging to get Ellie used as a nickname; Maddy is used so commonly. And we discovered when we briefly had a cat named Madeline that the spelling/pronunciation issues are surprisingly constant: everyone seems to know there are two options, so it was “Madda lin, line?” anytime anyone saw her name. If that’s the name you love best, however, the good news is that everyone seems to know already that it’s an issue—so it’ll probably be similar to all of us who have to specify a K instead of a C, an -en instead of an -in, two L’s instead of one, etc.

Emeline is another good option for the L and the M, but I think it’s much too close to Amelia. And Isla, Tabitha, and Harper don’t have the easy traditional feeling you’d prefer. Let’s see if we can find some more options.

If Louisa is out, perhaps Eloise is also out. If not, I like that it introduces a new consonant sound to the group, while still including an L sound. And if you like the nickname Ellie, I think you could get it here. Eloise Mikle.

Eliza is another possibility, and one of my own favorites. Again, the L sound to tie the name in with the others, but a new consonant sound to lessen confusion. And I think it’s particularly nice with the sibling group: Daniel, Amelia, Samuel, William, and Eliza. It sounds like a family right out of a Laura Ingalls Wilder book!

Or Eleanor, which would be another way to get Ellie. (Or you could go with Nora.)

Or Elizabeth, which would give her even more nickname options.

I also suggest Lucy. It fits well in style with the sibling names, and putting the L sound first may help keep the names from sounding too similar. I also considered suggesting Lillian, but I think that might go overboard on the L.

Or Laura, speaking of Laura Ingalls Wilder.

Annabelle makes me think of Abigail. Mia and Abby are cute sister nicknames.

Or Hannah. No L sound—but that’s just ME who’s looking for an L sound! Hannah Mikle. Daniel, Amelia, Samuel, William, and Hannah. Very nice.

Isla makes me think of Lila. Again, maybe a little overboard on the L—but maybe not. Lila Mikle sounds nice to me; I think it might be the L’s AND short-I of Lillian that made it seem like too much.

I think Clara would go beautifully with the sibling set. Clara Mikle.

Or Charlotte. Daniel, Amelia, Samuel, William, and Charlotte.

Abbey writes:

My husband and I never see eye-to-eye on baby names. I always knew I wanted Hudson, so that one was a given from our first date. We picked his middle name, Dean, as an homage to Dean Martin, a favorite singer of both my husband and his father. My husband also initially suggested Miles, but then he moved on to other favorite names, and I wanted Miles, so it was “my pick” again. His middle name, Taylor, is in honor of Taylor, Michigan, where my husband grew up.

So now, we are finally having a baby girl, and this may very well be our last baby! We are completely gridlocked, since we both feel like we have The Perfect Name. I’m desperate for some input, and maybe, more suggestions, since we’re stuck and this is getting really stressful and emotional. We’ve been working our way down the Social Security list and trying to add names, but it’s hard.

My husband suggested years ago that if we had a girl, we should name her Nico, and at first, I must say, I adored it. We both love The Velvet Underground, and it seemed like such a cool, unique, strong name. I mentioned it to a friend recently, and she said it was a “total rock star” name. Her middle name would be June, in honor of my maternal grandmother, who passed away 2 years before I was born. I thought that gave it a nice feminine touch, and would allow her to use the more feminine June as a first name if she decided that Nico was too much to deal with it.

Sadly, I am now really concerned about using Nico. It has started to sound more like a weird name than a strong, cool name to me: Nico Zebraitis. I mean, how much are people really going to call her Nico June? I don’t want her to be a Nicky or a Nic, either. I already have to spell my surname for strangers all the time, and I think she’d be constantly spelling and explaining Nico, too. It also reminds me of nicotine and rhymes with geek-o, freak-o…you get the picture. Another friend remarked that it made her picture a vacationing with a swarthy man named Nico on a Greek island. I am just having a hard time even liking it anymore, much less loving it, but hubs is so smitten with it, I feel like it will be so hard for him not to use it.

A few weeks ago, I loved Juniper, and I still do, but hubs doesn’t. And I have to admit, Juniper Zebraitis is also a pretty tough name, weird even. I began to think that what I want for my daughter is a name that’s simple but unusual, that everyone will immediately recognize and know how to spell, but that isn’t currently in popular use as a first name, something uber-feminine, soft, and classic. Suddenly, I realized that she was trying to tell me what her name was all along, (see, I’m obviously emotional and smitten with my name choice, gah!), ever since I came home from taking the pregnancy test at the doctor’s on my birthday, and played The Decemberists’ “June Hymn” over and over on the way home. We should name her June. And we could give her the first names of the 3 of our grandmothers who meant the most to us: June Estelle Liudvika Zebraitis. June is a popular middle name choice, but not for first names at all.  

Liudvika was my husband’s grandmother, who raised him, and he would have used this as a first name choice. His name is Vitas, and he has no problem using the “Boy Named Sue” approach to a challenging name makes you stronger. I looked into variants: Lulu (too babyish to use for a lifetime?), Louisa, but couldn’t see anything great. Frankly, I think it‘s a harsh-sounding name, and would be fine with just doing June Estelle Zebraitis, but that doesn’t seem fair to my husband. We could do June Liudvika Estelle, but the syllable pattern of 1-2-3-3 sounds much better to me than 1-3-2-3. Or, we could do, June Liudvika Zebraitis, but then I feel like all she’s really got to work with is June, and all the other names are just harsh and not very pretty.

Other names on our list:

Brooksley (after economist Brooksley Born, but since no one would likely get this, it then sounds like Kaylee or something to me, so I don’t like it for that reason)

Brooke

Dylan 

Ava (too popular, though, so no)

Arden (i kind of don’t like that it sounds like “harden”, though)

Madison

Stella (my grandmother went by Stella, we could do Stella June Liudvika, but I like my first choice far better)

Please help us!

Currently the name Nico is used much more often for boys than for girls in the United States: the Social Security Administration reports 522 new baby boys and 35 new baby girls named Nico in 2011. It seems like a cute choice for a girl if I say it again and again, a name like Mia or Nicki. But if I saw it on a piece of paper, or in a sibling group with a Hudson and a Miles, I’d assume Nico was a boy—not like, “I wonder if that’s a boy or a girl? More likely a boy,” but rather in the same way I’d assume Hudson and Miles were boys. There is nothing inherently wrong with choosing a more-often-used-for-boys name for a girl or vice versa, but I think of it as the kind of choice that needs extra thought.

It’s hard to know what to advise here. I can throw my full support behind the idea of June with grandmother middle names, which seems perfect to me—but I can’t picture that endorsement making your husband think, “Oh! Well, okay then, I’m happy with the name June!” Even if we had a poll and we ALL voted for June (and of course not all of us would), you two are the only real voters.

It would be best if we could find a way to make a better offer, more like a compromise that lets your husband keep his choice without forcing you to use it as the first name—something like using Nico as the middle name, or using Nico as a nickname: June to Junie to Nico? It’s not traditional or intuitive, but these are desperate times.

I’m afraid that what usually happens in cases where each parent has committed to a favorite the other parent can’t agree to is that both parents have to drop their choices and find something new: for most of us, it’s too hard to go through the heartbreak of giving up a favorite name AND then agree to the other parent’s favorite. If it does come down to starting from scratch, you’ll need to both make sure you’re not thinking of the task as “Finding a name I like better than Nico/June,” but instead as “Finding a name we can agree on from all the names that remain.”

One possibility for compromise is the name Annika. It lacks the simplicity of June, but it’s more feminine and flexible than Nico, and A.Z. are very cute initials. And it certainly has room for the nickname Niko or Nika; your husband could call her that exclusively, if he liked. Annika June is lovely.

Veronica and Danica could work the same way.

Or Cleo has some of the sound of Nico, while being more feminine.

Juno may be too associated with movies and goddesses, but it’s like a hybrid of June and Nico.