S. writes:

I came across your blog a couple of months ago and have loved reading your ideas and opinions on baby names. We are due to have our first baby girl the end of October! We currently have 3 boys which we love and adore, but are thrilled to be adding some PINK to our bunch. We are having one crazy time with choosing a name that will be just right.

Our boys’ names are Lincoln Judd, Grant Perry, and Eli Daren. Their first names are names we liked and their middle names are family names. Our last name sounds like mild, but starts with a W. We would like this baby’s name to “go with” her brothers.

Had this baby been another boy we would have likely named him Jude Jacobs, Jonah Jacobs, or Noah Jacobs. But since we’ve found out that this baby is a girl, we have not been able to settle on names that we both love.

We like very gender specific names that are recognizable, but not too commonly used. We’re not too much into the nicknames and generally like the given name to be what they are called, although that’s not a deal breaker. With this baby my husband and I seem to have very different likes! I would love to have an outside neutral opinion to help sort my thoughts of what sounds good and not…here are some of the names one or both of us are considering…

– Gwen – I like it, but not sure if I want to repeat an initial…would it be too different of a sound with Grant and we’d end up calling him Gwant?! Does Gwen sound right with our last name?

– Claire – I like it, but worry that it’s getting too popular

– Kate – I like it as a name by itself…I don’t like the possibility of her being called Katie

– Evie (Ee-vee)…possibly Evelyn as the given name – This is my husband’s favorite. I worry that Evie can’t be a given name and that Evie is too similar sounding to Eli.

– Celeste – I like it but don’t know that it really goes with the boys’ names

– Phoebe – I love this! My husband does not.

– Naomi – I love this! My husband does not. There’s a negative association with this name for him.

– Olivia – I like it but don’t like that there is a famous actor/model with the same name (first and last)

The rest of these names one or both of us like…we’re just not so sure…
– Charlotte
– Adalyn
– Marlee
– Lilah
– Layla
– Lydia

Most likely the middle name, if there were one, would be Lyn or Elizabeth…again family names.

Please share your thoughts and advise. Baby Girl is due in just a few weeks and I feel like we’re ready, except for a name! I’d love to hear what you think…or any other names that you think might “go with” our other children’s names.

Many, many thanks!!!

It looks to me as if your list is nearly wiped out: there’s a good reason not to use every name on the list except Celeste. It can be easy in a situation like this to keep going around in circles.

What I’d do in your shoes is brainstorm a fresh list based on your current list. For example, you like Olivia and Naomi, so you could look for other names with strong O sounds such as Sophia, Fiona, Chloe, Carolina, Rose. Or Naomi might make me think of Miriam, because they’re both biblical and have similar sounds, or it might make me think of Ruth.

The new list might or might not be of names for actual consideration (if Claire is too popular, Chloe and Sophia likely are too; if you worry about avoiding Katie, you might worry about avoiding Rosie too), but more to freshen things up and maybe lead to new ideas and a new list (“Hm, I don’t much like Bronwyn or Wynne with the surname, but those remind me of Bridget and Brenna!”).

Gwen and Evie make me think of Genevieve. It still repeats an initial, but I don’t think you’ll confuse the two names.

Or if you want the nickname Evie, I might go straight to Eve—though Eve and Eli do seem too similar to me, as Evie and Eli do. (Lilah and Layla, too.)

Claire makes me think of Clara, Cora, Carys, Laurel, Meredith, Nora, Rose.

Gwen makes me think of Wren, Wynne, Rowan, Winifred, Bronwyn, Elowen, Brynn, Zoe, Gwyneth.

Kate makes me think of Lane, Jane, June, Faith, Hazel, Jade, Maeve, Paige, Tate, Faye, Grey.

Evie makes me think of Neve, Vivienne, Liana, Eleni.

Phoebe makes me think of Penelope, Chloe, Cleo, Fiona, Sophia, Beatrix, Philippa, Josephine, Daphne.

Naomi makes me think of Noelle, Miriam, Ruth, Nadia, Esther, Leah, Claudia, Delaney, Rose, Fiona, Romilly, Romy, Mina, Mira.

Olivia makes me think Livianna, Fiona, Sophia, Chloe, Felicity, Victoria, Violet, Vivienne, Genevieve, Silvia, Orianna, Evelina.

Or else I’d go with Celeste. I think it’s great with your surname and with the sibling names.

Katie writes:

I came across your blog in my seemingly never-ending search for the perfect name for our baby girl due in November.  This is our first baby and we are so excited, but can’t seem to come up with a name that we both love.  About us: his name is Daxx k (yes, middle name is just the letter, lower case); mine is Katherine Elaine (I go by Katie) – needless to say, his parents were a bit more adventurous than mine!  Our last name rhymes with Perry, and starts with T.  If we have a son in the future his name is likely to be Daxx Turner – Turner is my dad’s middle name, and that is what we will probably call him, to avoid confusion and because we both love the name Turner for a little boy.

We want Baby Girl to have a name that is a little different, not too common, and we don’t want her to share it with a lot of girls her age.  My husband would love it if her name had a double letter in it (like Daxx, Kenn – his dad, and Lleyton – our nephew.)  Names we’ve come up with:

Elizabeth Kate (we would want to call her Eli Kate, but I worry that Eli is too boyish), love Kate as a middle name since my mom and I are both Katherine, I’m not sold on Elizabeth as it is SO popular, but I also love the nickname options and that she would still have a classic name

Paisley Grace – we worry that Paisley is becoming too popular/don’t love the idea of naming our baby after a fabric

Ellodie Claire –  I loved the name Ellodie, but after referring to her as that for a few weeks, it doesn’t feel right, and I hate that every time I tell someone “Ellodie” they say “Like Melody without the M?”

Reagan – like it, but worry about it with our last name, seeming like she has 2 last names/people being confused about which is her first name vs. last name

Riley – he loves this, but I’m not sold

Hadley – I love Hadley, or even Hadlee (to incorporate a double letter), but worry it’s getting popular

Vivienne – I like Vivienne a lot, but I’m just not sure about it

Everly – i love, but every time I say it, he says “Like Beverly?”

Any help or direction would be greatly appreciated :)

Thanks so much!

Let’s start by looking at the current commonness of each name on the list, according to the Social Security Administration:

Elizabeth: #11 in 2011, and has been hovering right around there for decades

Paisley: #195 in 2011, coming up rapidly from its first appearance in the Top 1000 in 2006

Ellodie/Elodie: not in the Top 1000

Reagan: #122 in 2011, rising slowly now after some rapid rising in the 1990s

Riley/Rylee/Rylie/Ryleigh: hard to figure out the popularity because of many spellings; the spelling Riley was #47 in 2011 for girls, and #111 for boys. Because it’s popular for both girls and boys, this increases the possibility of another Riley (girl or boy) in her class.

Hadley/Hadlee/Hadleigh: rising fairly quickly; the most popular spelling is Hadley at #178

Vivienne: #383 in 2011; it’s only been in the Top 1000 for three years

Everly: not in the Top 1000, but likely to get there next year; the #1000 name for girls was used 250 times, and Everly was used 222 times, and Everleigh was used 147 times

I think Eli would be a hard sell as a nickname for Elizabeth: it isn’t a familiar nickname for it, and the letters are the same but the emphasis and sounds are not—“EE-lie” vs. “eh-LIH.” It might work if you used Eliza, nickname Eli—though it would still be an unexpected nickname.

If you like Elizabeth, Ellodie, and Everly, I suggest Ellis. It has a double letter, it works with Kate and with Daxx. (I’d also mention Ellery, but I’m not sure it works with the surname.)

A similar suggestion is Hollis.

Similar in sound to Paisley is Hazel.

Similar to Riley: Kiley and Briley—or you could spell them Kylee and Brylee to get the double letter.

Similar to Reagan: Morgan, Teagan/Teegan.

Similar to Vivienne: Vienna.

More double-letter possibilities:

Annalise
Arabella
Braelynn
Brinlee
Brylee
Calla
Calliope
Camilla
Clarissa
Emlynn
Evelynn
Fallon
Gemma
Greer
Kaelynn
Karenna
Keelin
Keely
Kennedy
Lennox
Linnea
Mckenna
Noelle
Padgett (might be too much T with surname)
Quinn
Reese
Romilly
Savannah
Scarlett (might be too much T with suname)
Sienna
Stella
Willa
Willow
Wynne

C. writes:

Our baby boy is due next week and we are starting to panic as we don’t have any names we are certain on.  If he had been a girl, we would have had a lot to choose from that we both loved including: Lilliana, Eloise, Charlotte (Lottie), Blythe, and Josephine.

Our surname is a two syllable name that ends in ‘son’, and unfortunately this cuts out a lot of great boys names.  For example, my husband’s second favourite boys name is Harrison.  We would prefer to steer away from any names that end in ‘son’ or ‘vowel-n’

My husband’s favourite boys name is Jack however we know a couple, and our friends just named their baby boy Jackson.  We have been calling the ‘bump’ Jack just for fun from very early on, thinking that we couldn’t really use the name officially, but there is a very slim chance that we may end up feeling that it just has to stick, however we would have to have a difficult conversation with our friends.

My favourite boys name is Tate, however my husband isn’t thrilled with it.  Other names I would consider are Maxwell and Rafferty, but once again, my husband isn’t enamoured with them.  Ezekiel is another consideration, but not sure if it sounds too unique and Biblical (we are Christian though).

There is a Clyde in the family tree and although we don’t particularly love the name, we are looking for something similar that is strong, traditional, but not overly common.  I have been a kindergarten teacher for 14 years and this experience has tended to limit some of the great names we also may have considered.

Would love to hear your advice!

If Harrison is out because of the -son, would the name Harris work? A similar name is Davis.

If you end up feeling you must call him Jack, I wonder if it would work more smoothly with your friends if you named him John with the nicknam Jack?

More like Tate and Jack:

Cade
Clark
Clay
Dane
Finn
Gage
Grant
Luke
Max
Reid

There’s been a bit of a trend for biblical names, and that’s helped bring a number of names into much easier use: instead of sounding like Bible Extreme, a name like Ezekiel just sounds pleasingly and quirkily biblical—more like a name with ancient roots. To tone it down, you could use Ezra—but then you lose the nickname Zeke. Or you could use Isaac with the nicknames Zac or Ike.

Some boy names similar to the girl names on your list (which may in some cases rule out the later use of the girl names): Joseph, Charlie, Elliot, Louis.

Because you have some very different styles on your list, it may help narrow things down to consider future sibling names, if you think you might have more children. A Jack and an Ezekiel don’t coordinate as well as, say, a Jack and a Finn, or a Malachi and an Ezekiel. Consider, too, how the names from your girl list coordinate with your finalists.

K. writes:

Our first daughter, Julia, was a name I had always loved when I was younger and I liked that my husband’s grandfather’s name was Julius, as well. She was the first great-grandchild on his side so it’s kind of special.

My original dilemma was that we wanted to use her middle name as a name for our second child, but I know you recommend against this.  We had been tossing around other names, but none of them felt quite right for us.

Then, last week, my Aunt Charlotte passed away suddenly.  She was my mom’s only sister and Charlotte was also their mother’s name.  I had briefly considered this name beforehand, but wasn’t sure if it was too formal for us or if it had become too trendy recently. Now I feel very strongly about incorporating Charlotte into the name if we have a girl. It’s almost as if it were meant to be.  Also, this might sound strange, but my Aunt Charlotte’s birthday was the day after my grandmother’s.  It just so happens that my c-section is scheduled for the day after my birthday as well. (Coincidence or a sign?) That being said, the date is quickly approaching and we still haven’t finalized anything.  I know that my mom would be honored if we used Charlotte as a middle name, but is it too soon to use it as a first name?  When I indirectly asked my mom about it, she said that it was a very strong name and that her mother and sister were the only two Charlottes she’d ever known… She assumed I might use it as a middle name and suggested Reese Charlotte.

My question is, what are some other first names that would go well with Charlotte and would also sound nice with big sister Julia?

Or should we just take a chance and try to use Charlotte as the first name?  I’m guessing it would sound best with something short, but need some ideas.

Just for reference, our boy name would be Cole Matthew-  My father and grandfather are Nicholas and my husband is Matthew.  Also, our last name is Winkler.

Some of the other names we discussed in the past, but don’t necessarily go with Charlotte are:

Stella

Delaney

Madeline (My husband only liked as a middle name, but he doesn’t like that Maddy sounds too close to his name.)

Grace (Although this is a beautiful name, it has a negative association with someone in his family so I’d rather not use it if we could find something better.)

Thanks so much for your help, Swistle.

I don’t think it is ever too soon to use an honor name. …Well, as soon as I write something like that, I start thinking of examples where it might be. But in general, I think it is very touching to use the name of someone who died during your pregnancy, and I don’t get any “too soon” feelings at all. The opposite, in fact—like it’s MORE wonderful to use the name sooner.

It sounds from your letter as if your mom might be reacting not to the soonness/appropriateness but to her perception of the name as unusual. It’s common for the grandparent generation to feel that that current parent generation is choosing names that are kind of weird or old-fashioned: my own mom confessed to having mixed feelings about the name Henry, since it seems old-mannish to her (though she said she was sure she’d love it on an actual grandchild). For them, it’s probably close to the way we feel about names like Carol and Judy.

But if your mom’s impression of the name comes from only knowing two Charlottes (both older ladies), that’s likely to change soon: the name was the 27th most popular name for baby girls in 2011, according to the Social Security Administration, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see it in the Top 10. The current perception is of vintage sweetness as well as strength.

And it sounds as if the timing is wonderful for this baby: not only does it give you a new name for your list, it’s a name with the same sort of family meaning as your first child’s name. And it’s lovely and perfect with the name Julia: Julia and Charlotte! Wonderful.

You’re right: I do generally advise against using one child’s middle name as another child’s first name. (More discussion on this topic in this post.) I also think the name Reese is a bit of a style mismatch with a sister named Julia. Julia is classic, ancient; Reese is unisex, modern, surnamey. But if you wouldn’t mind continuing the theme for any future girls, Charlotte could have the same middle name as Julia: Charlotte Reese is very nice.

If you’d rather use Charlotte as the middle name, we could look for a first name that SOUNDS a little like Reese. Elise, for example. Elise Charlotte; Julia and Elise.

Or Rose. It has some of the feeling of the name Grace, but less common and without the negative family association. Rose Charlotte is so pretty, and Julia and Rose are so nice together.

Aubrey and Audrey are both nice with Charlotte and with Julia: Aubrey Charlotte, Audrey Charlotte. Aubrey has the additional upside of having the nickname Bree, which may remind you of the way you feel about the name Reese—while still giving her a longer form that goes well in style with the name Julia.

Delaney and Reese make me think of Sadie. Sadie Charlotte; Julia and Sadie.

Stella Charlotte is nice, or Ella Charlotte lightens it a bit.

Oh, or Anna Charlotte! So pretty! Julia and Anna.

Or Lydia Charlotte, Julia and Lydia.

Or Noelle Charlotte, Julia and Noelle.

Charlotte is visually long, but is only two syllables. I think you could go long on a first name: a name like Delaney Charlotte has only one more syllable than the name Julia Reese. Or Annalise Charlotte has the “ees” sound of Reese.

If you would like to go more with the style of Reese, I suggest the name Lane. Lane Charlotte; Julia and Lane.