Adrienne writes:

Hi Swistle!

We really need some help! Our second baby boy is due July 3rd, and we have no idea what his name is! Our last name is H0ward, and older brother is named Justice.

We obviously value the meaning of a name, given our choice for our first son. We love his name, and many others do as well. However we didn’t think ahead very well to finding something to “match” it. I say “match” in quotes because we don’t really want anything too matchy… for example, I don’t think we’d want to use another virtue name (what other options are there for boys that aren’t too unusual?), and I don’t love the idea of another J name, although I’m not completely opposed. At the same time as not wanting another name that is too matchy, I also don’t want something that will clash in style too much. My husband’s take on it is that each child gets their own name and it doesn’t matter too much how it fits with sibling names. I see his point but still would like other opinions on this.

Here are some ideas we’ve thrown around – but really we don’t like any of these enough to decide on them at this point.

Luke
Noah
James (so much more common than Justice, but there is something about it…. but would a 3rd child have to be a J too?)
Jackson
Gabriel
Samuel (but don’t like the nicknames Sam or Sammy)
Silas (I love, but husband says no due to a negative association)
Everett (like the ‘ev’ sound, but don’t love the meaning)

If he had been a girl, some ideas we had were:

Evelyn (I love this one but realize it’s a completely different style)
Eve
Eva
Elise
Kira
Juliet
Victoria
Vivian

As I said above, we aren’t set on any of these boy names… they all feel a bit ‘blah’ and we are hoping to come across the right name soon! We’d love to hear some new ideas and perspective from you and your readers. I think our main criteria are: not super common, but not super unusual or hard to pronounce, works reasonably well with Justice… and that’s about it! We are open. We are unsure if we will have a 3rd. Oh, and most likely his middle name will be Gordon, after my father. If we find a first name we love and it doesn’t flow too well with the middle name, we aren’t too worried about that since we so rarely use the middle name, and the honor aspect is more important than the flow. (Unless there were a big glaring issue).

Thanks in advance for your help!

I too find virtue/word names a unique challenge in sibling groups: another virtue or word name feels immediately Very Themey, but anything else seems to lack a certain punch.

What I generally look for is the “certain punch”—but without the virtue/word. If the virtue/word name has a whimsical feeling, I try to find something with whimsy; if it has a sweet gentle feeling, I try to find something with sweetness and gentleness. The name Justice, I think, has strength and righteousness, so I would look for another name that has a similar sound.

My mind immediately turns to biblical names. I think there are three basic batches of biblical names:

1. So common they don’t necessarily sound like biblical names (James, John, Andrew, Matthew)

2. Names that one generation ago would have been considered shockingly biblical, but now they sound hip (Noah, Ezra, Judah, Elijah)

3. Names that still haven’t gone mainstream (Azriel, Hillel, Hosea, Jamin, Balthazar)

I’d be looking mostly in the second category, and I’d be leaning toward the more recent additions such as Ezekiel and Malachi, rather than the ones that have made it to the Top 10 such as Noah. (I’m pulling candidates right from the Biblical section of The Baby Name Wizard, without looking up the associated stories; I’d look up the stories before using any of them. I see Jezebel on the list, is what I’m saying.)

Justice and Abel (Abe)
Justice and Abram (Abe)
Justice and Barnaby
Justice and Boaz (Bo)
Justice and Cyrus (Cy)
Justice and Elijah (Eli) (this one is almost Top 10, but I still like it here)
Justice and Ezekiel (Zeke)
Justice and Ezra
Justice and Gabriel (Gabe)
Justice and Gideon
Justice and Isaiah
Justice and Jeremiah
Justice and Judah (Jude)
Justice and Levi
Justice and Malachi (Mal)
Justice and Reuben

Instead of James, I might consider Jabez. It’s a gutsy choice: only 44 baby boys were given the name in 2011. But it’s quite similar in sound to James and Gabe and Jason, as well as to recent biblical choices such as Ezra. Jay or Jabe would work as nicknames.

Solomon is one of the biblical names I wish would get more common, but to me Solomon is SO associated with justice (the case of two women both claiming to be the mother of the same baby), the connection to Justice feels too strong.

If you use another J name, I don’t think that has to mean using a J name for a third child as well. It does add some pressure, however; I’d suggest ignoring such pressure, but only you know how easily you could do that.

If you did want to go with another virtue/attribute name, here are a few for boys (and we did a post on the subject that might also be a good source):

Able
August
Earnest
Loyal
Maverick
Merit
Noble
Sterling
Worth

Hey, how about Victor? I don’t usually think of that as a word name, but it’s a good one—and I see Victoria on your girl name list. This is a situation where one sibling’s name spins the other: as soon as it’s next to Justice, I see it as another noun. Victor H0ward; Justice and Victor.

Name meanings can vary considerably depending on what baby name book you’re looking at. I’m using The Oxford Dictionary of First Names, and for Everett I see the definition “hardy, brave, and strong.” Well, okay, and also “boar.” I really like it with Justice, though. Everett H0ward; Justice and Everett.

If Silas is out only because of a negative association, I suggest the similar Elias. Elias H0ward; Justice and Elias. I think those have a good Early Settler sound to them.

Other names that seem like they have a certain something:

Justice and Alistair
Justice and Deacon
Justice and Felix
Justice and Ranger
Justice and Zane

According to The Oxford Dictionary of First Names, Alistair is from Alexander and means “to defend man.” This is a subtle and interesting connection to the name Justice.

Felix means happy and lucky, which is an excellent meaning—but I wonder if it’s too light a meaning alongside Justice.

Name update: Luke

Erica writes:

I’m due with my second child, a boy, in just under three months and I’m starting to feel a little frantic about finding the right name for him. I would absolutely love your help. My name is Erica, my husband is Craig, and our last name is $tubblefield. Our three year old daughter’s name is Emrie Kent. We decided on Emrie because we both really liked Emery but felt like that middle syllable made it a little choppy and her middle name, Kent, was my dad’s name. We decided on her name early on in my pregnancy and never looked back. Boys names are so much more difficult for us! As far as style, we’re kind of all over the place and we don’t really love any of the names on our list. If this baby were a girl, her name would most likely have been Holland which is my husband’s great-grandmother’s surname. Other girl names I love are Ivy, Story, Jules and Elodie. We’d like for this baby’s middle name to be James after my husband’s grandfather. We are looking for something somewhat uncommon but not trendy. For example, I really like Asher, Archer, Milo, Bennet etc. but they are much too trendy and I’d really prefer to go with something more classic yet unique. Also, my husband doesn’t like any of those names :). We also really like surname names. We would like to avoid using another E because we’d like to have at least one more child and don’t want to get stuck with the all-E thing later on. I would also like to avoid B names as I don’t want his initials to be BS (does that even matter? Am I being weird about this?). And I’d like to avoid C’s as well because my daughter and I are both E’s and if my husband and our son were both C’s, well, that’s just a little too cutesy for me. So, no E, B, or C names.

Names that we’ve tossed around but haven’t fallen in love with:

Abel – we both like this name but my husband thinks that the double ‘ble’ sound of Abel $tubble (field) sounds weird & I kinda think he’s right.

Merrit – we both sort of like but don’t love. And I worry that people would call him Mary.

Noel – this is a family name that I like but, again, we’re not sold on. Also, Noel James doesn’t really work together.

And that’s pretty much our list at this point. Pathetic, right?!

Another problem we have is that a lot of names I like end with the letter S which doesn’t work with our last name. For example, Hayes, Brooks, West, etc. When said together they end up sounding like Hey $tubblefield, Brooke $tubblefield, Wes $tubblefield.

As you can see, we need your help! I know there’s an amazing name out there for this little guy and I’d love for you and your readers to help us figure out what it is!

And I promise to send an adorable photo of him with a name update once he’s here :). Thanks so much!

I too prefer to avoid initials such as BS. I don’t think it’s a disaster to use them, but when I put it to the “Would _I_ want this name?” test, it fails: no, I don’t want those initials. So I tend to avoid them when possible, though I can imagine situations where a name would be worth it.

I agree that the repeating -bel/-ble sound of Abel $tubblefield is less than ideal. Would you like Abram instead?

Noel James works for me, so I’d leave that one on the list.

It takes away the family-name connection, but Nolan is another option. (I also like Joel, but not with James.)

Are there any family surnames that would work as a first name, in addition to Holland?

I’m not sure if anyone would use the nickname Mary/Merry for the name Merritt. I’m hoping someone who knows a Merritt can tell us if it’s happened. It’s not a nickname that would have occurred to me, I don’t think; it seems kind of like using the nickname Callie for a man named Calvin, or Annie for a man named Andrew, or Ellie for a man named Elliot: conceivable, but it seems like most people naturally avoid it.

It’s difficult to find a name that is both classic and uncommon. It generally means looking for names that are not currently in style—which is another way of saying the names are not currently very well-liked. You could for example use Archibald instead of Archer to avoid trendiness, but that would be a strong stream to swim against.

Speaking of swimming upstream, another issue here is that it looks to me as if your tastes are very compatible with current fashions. I think it can help to avoid the word “trendy,” since I don’t think anyone would want to think of their naming style that way—and yet the upshot is a nice thing: you like names that are in style, which is lucky for both you and your children. Imagine only liking names that everyone else considered shockingly ugly and unusable.

Where was I? Oh, yes: so I think the goal here is to find a name that most people don’t even consider, but then when they hear it on someone else’s baby they’re surprised to find they like it. The problem with this goal is that that would make a good definition for a name that is about to become popular.

I think the surname route is going to be a good one. Surnames can sound classic as first names (even if they’ve only recently been used as first names) because of their long histories as surnames. And Emrie is a surname name, and I like when sibling names coordinate in style. I think I’d be looking for something that has two syllables, though I’d continue to try out names of other lengths. My favorite would be a surname from the family tree, especially from the mother’s side if the family surname is from the father’s side.

Instead of Milo, I wonder if you’d like Miller. Miller $tubblefield; Emrie and Miller.

Instead of Archer, I wonder if you’d like Hatcher, Thatcher, or Fletcher.

Instead of Asher, I wonder if you’d like Escher or Fisher. (I noticed that Escher starts with an E, but sometimes a suggestion that doesn’t quite work can still lead to other ideas.)

Looking again at Abel, I wanted to find some surname version of it—Abelson, maybe. But that doesn’t eliminate the -bel/-ble issue. I like the general sound of it, though. Anderson? Aronson? Abbott? There are so many good surnames!

Name update! Erica writes:

Our son was born a few weeks ago & I wanted to update you & your wonderful readers on his name! While searching our family tree we came across the surname Abbott (which is also a name you suggested!) & my husband & I both agreed that it was the perfect name for our baby boy. Abbott James is the sweetest little guy and his big sister Emrie couldn’t be more in love. Here they are together, thanks again for all your help!

Cailen writes:

I just discovered your blog a couple of days ago and have been reading it non-stop since (back into the ‘archives’!)

I should start by saying that I come from a family of unique names-my name is Cailen (pronounced Ky-len), and my three brothers are Tison, Anders, and Eamonn. I loved growing up with a different name and my husband (whose name is Ben) is also into the idea of selecting a unique name for our baby.

Our son is due at the end of June. We really like the sound of scottish/Irish/Gaelic names given that our last name is Irish-but haven’t fallen in love with anything yet. My family heritage is scottish and my maiden name (Campbell) is really the only name that we have selected that has stuck with us throughout the pregnancy. We love that it has meaning and that it is somewhat unique. My husband is pretty much set on it, but I have a couple if reservations. It seems like everyone named Campbell is a girl, and I don’t want people to see our son’s name in writing (Campbell McCormick) and think that he’s a girl. We were thinking about pairing it with a more masculine middle name to counteract this a little bit, but I’m worried that middle names aren’t necessarily used enough to make a difference (middle names so far are James-from my side of the family or Marshall-from his side of the family).

Just to give you an idea, we had the name Ensly picked out for a girl. . . Other names that we have considered but do not want to use for our baby include: Jamison, Maddox, Calan, Cullen. I like the names Beckett and Bennett, but my husband does not.

We are really looking for a meaningful name (which could just mean it represents our distant heritages) that is unique but not so odd that it sounds made up.

We appreciate any help you can provide!!

I love it so much when a maiden name works as a first name, and yours is great for that. Let’s start by seeing how the name has being used in the U.S. over the last ten years of Social Security Administration data:

2002: 197 girls, 143 boys
2003: 260 girls, 164 boys
2004: 318 girls, 164 boys
2005: 389 girls, 186 boys
2006: 435 girls, 177 boys
2007: 392 girls, 148 boys
2008: 387 girls, 165 boys
2009: 396 girls, 147 boys
2010: 359 girls, 186 boys
2011: 237 girls, 147 boys

It looks like it’s holding relatively steady: more girls than boys, but boys are not giving it up—and girls might be. It’s hard to say what it’s going to do next: is it falling for girls, but staying steady for boys? or is it in a brief dip for girls, but basically staying steady? I’ll look forward to seeing the 2012 data when it comes out in May.

There are two things that make the name Campbell seem more girl-name to me: the -bell ending, in an age of Isabelle; and the potential nickname Cammie. But on the other hand, Cam is a common nickname for boys, and surname names often come across as more boyish. Still, the way the name has been consistently used more often for girls would concern me if it were my own son: any unisex name will come with the occasional mistake/confusion—and the more it tips toward one sex, the more mistakes/confusion for the other sex. I think I would prefer to save it for a possible future daughter (I love the mother/daughter link), or use it as a middle name.

If you do use it for a boy, I definitely like your plan of using a clearly boyish middle name. The average person wouldn’t know the middle name, but doctors’ offices and schools are the places it’s most important to me that people keep straight if my child is a boy or a girl. Campbell Marshall seems like a lot of L, but Campbell James is great.

My primary concern with the name is that Campbell McCormick is such a brand-heavy name: I immediately thought soup/spices. It sounds like a successful business conglomeration. Neither name on its own gives me that instant association, but together the effect was startling to me when I saw it in the email. Even for a girl, I think I would use Campbell only as a middle name. On the other hand, if you do use it as a first name, “It was my / my wife’s / my mother’s maiden name” seems like it would cover just about any startled reactions.

Name update! Cailen writes:

Our beautiful baby boy was born on June 22nd! We decided to go with Campbell James McCormick. It really fits him perfectly and my husband and I are so happy with the final decision (we debated the middle name for about a day in the hospital and ended up going with our original favorite!) We have had very good feed back from ppl we meet and family members/friends love his name! Thank you for all of the help!

C. writes:

Hello! I am due at the beginning if July and having a little girl. Our last name is Charles and our son’s name is Cooper Harrison Charles. Honoring a Jewish naming tradition, Harrison is meant to honor his great grandfather, Herbert. We used the “H” to honor a living relative. We are planning for baby girl to be Carrington “S middle name” Charles. The S middle name is after my mom, Shari and her namesake, Sarah. We are having a really hard time finding an S name that flows. HELP!

I said the first and last names out loud a few times, and the rhythm that appeals to me most is a 3-syllable middle name:

Carrington Samantha Charles
Carrington Savannah Charles
Carrington Selina Charles
Carrington Serena Charles
Carrington Sienna Charles
Carrington Silvia Charles
Carrington Sofia Charles

I also like Carrington Simone Charles.

If I were choosing, I would probably choose Carrington Sofia. I like the relative shortness of Sofia compared to other 3-syllable names, and I like the emphasis on the second syllable, and I just like the sound of it overall. I also like the mix of styles: Sofia is regal-sounding like Carrington, but also much more feminine and common. And if Carrington is ever shortened to Carrie or Cara, I think Carrie/Cara Sofia is fun to say.

But preferred name rhythms are so subjective. What does everyone else like for flow here?

Name update! C. writes:

Thank you so much for the advice given by you and your readers!  I hadn’t initially thought a 3-syllable name would work because of the length but after reading all of the suggestions I realized it was the way to go!  Sweet Carrington Savannah was born just two weeks ago and we just love the name.  It is a long name but hopefully by the time she’s in school kids won’t be bubbling scantrons anymore!

Olivia writes:

I am due on April 11 (in 4 days!) with our first baby, a girl.

We have narrowed it down to 4 names but I’d love to know which you and your
readers prefer.

I’m also open to other names if you feel like there is something out there
that would suit better.

The middle name will be Amira and I know it’s tricky to decide on the middle
name first but it was the name of my beloved Grandmother and we both love it
because it’s unusual and pretty. Also, the baby will have my husbands last
name so this way she gets a name from my side of the family as well.

Our names are:

Francesca Amira Dawson (nn Frankie initials FAD)

Margaret Amira Dawson (nn Maisie or Mae initials MAD)

Louisa Amira Dawson (nn Loulou initials LAD)

Eliza Amira Dawson (initials EAD)

The initial thing is also tricky as the _AD creates a lot of words and I
know you aren’t crazy about initials that spell words. My thought is that
mostly she would just be using her first and last name and that if she ever
had anything monogrammed the last initial would be put in the middle so it
won’t spell anything for example FAD becomes FDA.

I’d love to know what you think of these names and if there are any others
that might work with our middle and last names.

I like all four! Let’s have a poll!

[yop_poll id=”3″]

Name update! Olivia writes:

Thanks for posting my letter. Your readers gave tons of great feedback on
all 4 names.

In the end we went to the hospital having eliminated Eliza and Margaret
because even though we liked Margaret (and so did your readers!), we
couldn’t get on board with the initials MAD and we didn’t feel the same love
for Eliza that we once did.

Our little girl was born late in the evening on April 18 and we were
waffling between Francesca and Louisa. By the next day it was clear that our
little girl is a warrior so we ended up going with Louisa Amira Dawson which
suits her perfectly!

Thanks for all your help.

V. writes:

Thank you for your amazing blog; I love hearing about everyone’s adventures in naming. My husband and I will be having a girl in July and are, like many others, struggling to find a first name we both like. We do have a bunch of options for the middle name so right now we are concentrating on the first. The baby’s last name will be C00ke (pronounced like someone who works in a kitchen). I come from a family where first names are fairly unique, but not made up. My last name is uncommon. He comes from a family with pronounceable biblical/traditional names.

We are interested in using a family name as a middle name. Family names for a middle include: Kelly, Adrienne, Anna, Ella, Evelyn, and Daphne. My husband likes Kelly or Anna and has crossed off Adrienne and Ella from that list. We also tend to like names without nicknames, but not a deal-breaker.

My top first name choice is a last name in my family: Meara (pronounced Mira). I can consider this as a middle but really love it as a first. My husband likes Mira but thinks everyone including the child will be confused about the spelling and pronunciation of Meara. I love it because it is common enough that when she says it people will understand it, yet it is semi-unique. How would you pronounce Meara as you see it? Would you be confused? Is it deal breaker confusion? My husband’s/the baby’s last name is SO common I’d like something a little more uncommon for the first name.

Other non-family names we are considering:
Fiona – Our joint second choice for a name. We like names from the British Isles.
Hannah – One of his top name choices. I originally took this out because of someone I knew, but put it back in because he likes it so much. It’s growing on me but prefer it as a middle if we use it.
Lydia
Cecilia
Dahlia/Dalia – I like it but keep thinking of a “baby doll”
Audra
Aubrey
Felicity
Hailey – another of my husband’s choices
Layla/Leyla
Leona
Zoe/Zoey

We plan to have a second child. For boys my husband liked: Dylan, Conrad, and Orion; I liked Harper, Nolan, Harrison, and Wade (as a middle). I generally like last names as first names for boys.

Any assistance would be helpful, even if just a quick poll on the pronunciation of Meara or opinions on the name as my family spells it. Thank you so much!

When I file incoming name questions, I leave myself a little note about the issues in the post. With this one, my note ended up misleading me: I wrote: “want to use Meara; husband likes Mira, thinks Meara too confusing (pronunciation poll).” So when I chose it this morning, I was already composing my answer—something like “Yes, Meara isn’t too difficult but probably Mira would be easier all around and also more traditional/standard, but then again I think people would pick up Meara pretty quickly so no big deal either way” and etc.

But then as I was cutting and pasting the question, I saw it’s a family surname. Well, goodness. There are few things I like better than a family surname that can be used as a child’s first name, so that was exciting. But also, for me that completely ends the discussion: the spelling should be Meara. Spelling it Mira might be slightly easier in some ways, but it saps it of so much family meaning, it almost feels like it would be better to find another name. In fact, if it were me, and my husband wouldn’t use the spelling Meara, I think I WOULD decide it would be better to scrap the whole idea. Spelled Mira, it’s what people refer to as “a nod”—a little reference to your family surname, but not really using it.

Anyone who raises eyebrows or has trouble spelling/pronouncing it can be told, “Oh, yes, it’s a family name!” or “It’s my grandmother’s maiden name” (or whatever it is)—which ought to change them from “Why not spell it Mira?” to “OH HOW COOL I LOVE IT!!” in about 2 seconds flat.

I don’t think a Meara would be any more confused by her name than a Sophia or a Zach or an Elle or a John would be. Name spellings are often odd, and most children learn the spelling by memorization before they’re even thinking about phonetics.

I think the first time I saw the spelling Meara I might pause, because I’d be wondering if it was maybe a foreign spelling/pronunciation I was about to botch (as with Ciara, which can be KEER-rah or kee-AR-rah), and because it’s hard to tell how the sounds should be divided (does the E go with the M or with the A?). But as soon as I knew it was MEER-rah, I don’t think I’d have trouble anymore. The middle part is “ear,” which when we see it alone we pronounce “eer,” so that helps: as soon as I know the pronunciation, my eye sorts the name into the right chunks.

And now we’re getting a nice percentage of “first impression = like Mira” comments on the pre-question-posting survey, so that confirms what I was hoping. (I didn’t want to get blinded by my enthusiasm for family names!) We can keep an eye on that post as the comments continue to come in, to make sure it’s a percentage that’s okay with you. It shows you would be taking on some spelling/pronunciation issues with the name, but to me they don’t look severe—and the spelling Mira would also come with issues, such as people pronouncing it Myra or mistaking it for Mia.

I think Meara is the perfect name for your preferences. I suggest letting your husband have more sway with the middle name, to make things feel nicely balanced. (Though I’d also be keeping in mind that all the children would automatically have his surname in their names, so a name from your side of the family would already be addressing the issue of balance.)

Name update! V. writes:

I’m writing to thank everyone for your help in naming our little girl. We continued to consider Meara along with many of the other first and middle name choices in my original letter. We debated the name up until the very moment we were being discharged from the hospital and needed to finalize the birth certificate information. We settled on Meara Kelly C00ke and already think it fits her perfectly. Thanks again and happy naming!

L. writes:

I love your blog and have spent countless hours reading the archives and
comments through each pregnancy.  I always say that if all that were
involved with having a baby were picking the name, I would have 100 because
I love finding the perfect name so much.  Now, I am driving myself crazy
trying to narrow down the choices for a girl name and desperately want your
expert opinion.

My name is Lisa and my husband is Peter.  I am pregnant with my third, due
this spring.  We have a boy and a girl, so we decided to not find out the
gender for this baby since we feel like he or she will be icing on the cake
either way.  My husband and I have very different tastes in names and both
times before, we have waited to meet the baby to decide on the name.  We
named my son Timothy Michael and he goes by Timothy, Tim and Timmy.  Michael
is my husband’s father’s name.  He was born on Christmas morning at a
whopping 9 lbs, 9 oz so we decided he was our little Tiny Tim.  My daughter
is Ellen Lucille.  Ellen was my grandmother’s name, as well as my middle
name, my mom’s middle name and my aunt on the other side’s middle name.  We
call her Ellie sometimes (even though it completely rhymes with our last
name).  My husband picked Lucille just because he liked it, and we found
out later that it was the name of a close friend of my Grandmother who got
married in the same church on the same day as my grandparents!  I
absolutely love both of their names.  I have never met another kid with
their names but have also never had any trouble with people mispronouncing
or misspelling them.

We have a very difficult last name, it’s pronounced Auto-muh-nelly (5
syllables and 11 letters!) but it starts with an O.  We constantly have to
spell it and/or pronounce it for people, so it’s pretty important for me to
pick names for my kids that are easy to say and spell.  I also prefer
shorter names (or at least shorter nicknames) since the last name is so
long.  Other “rules” are that it be (1) a classic name (in existence since
at least the 1950s, preferably earlier), (2) not too popular (preferably
not the top 100, but we’re flexible if it’s popular because it’s been
around forever, like John or Mary), (3) lend itself to a good nickname, (4)
be good for a child AND an adult and (5) not be identified primarily with a
particular religion or ethnicity.  Of course now I also want to make sure
that the name fits with the other two we have.

For a boy, we really like the name Thomas, but can’t have a Tommy and a
Timmy.  We also like the name James, but not the nickname Jamie (or Jimmy).
Our two frontrunners for boy names are Theodore (Teddy) and Henry. For a
middle name, I like the idea of using Robert after my father, but also am
tempted to use Thomas or James.

For girls, we are kind of stuck.  At first, we thought we were agreed on
either Madeline or Olivia, but I have since started doubting both.  I don’t
think I like the nickname Maddie and I can’t really picture a grown-up
Madeline.  Olivia is A LOT of syllables to stick in front of our last name
and it is one of the most popular names out there.  Plus there isn’t really
a great nickname. We do think it’s a pretty name though.

Other names we like but aren’t convinced are the one:

Caroline (i think this is a beautiful name, but don’t really like any
nicknames and worry about people mispronouncing it)
Charlotte (maybe too popular and no great nicknames)
Leah (I like this and think it’s short and sweet, but husband isn’t
convinced and it’s pretty popular)
Grace (too popular and don’t like “Gracie”)
Margaret, nn Maggie or Margot (I think I am trying to convince myself to
like it, but it still sounds kind of old-ladyish to me)
Katherine, nn Kate (I really like this, he’s not sure)
Julia (Don’t think he’d go for this, but I think it’s pretty)

Names my husband has shot down / names we don’t like / names we can’t use:

Clara / Claire
Katelyn
Jocelyn
Celeste
Penelope
Evangeline nn Eva
Amelia
Naomi
Gabrielle
Alexandra
Andrea
Samantha
Josephine
Beatrice
Chloe
Anne / Annabelle
Evelyn

There aren’t really any good family names that I’m aware of.  Is there a
name that we’re just not thinking about and would be a perfect fit in our
family?  Or do I just need to pick one of our maybes and let it grow on me?
I am hoping to go to the hospital with 2 or 3 names that I love so we can
pick the right one when we meet him or her.
Thank you!

and

I thought we had narrowed down our choices to one boy name and one girl
name, but about every other day, I find myself doubting the girl name.  We
have about 7 more weeks to pick out a name, and feeling unsettled is
stressing me out!  We could really use some expert advice.

For a boy, we are 99% sure we’ll go with Theodore.  The other name we’re
holding on to is Henry.

For a girl, we had tentatively picked out Angeline Grace, with the nickname
Angie.  While I think this is a pretty name, I just am not sure how well it
goes with my other two kids.

The other name my husband liked that I dismissed as too popular was Amelia,
but I keep coming back to it.  I think I like Emilia better because of the
nickname options, but does it seem like a made-up name?  And is it too
similar to Ellie?

I think I just want a fresh perspective because I’ve been mulling these
over for so many months that it seems impossible to get any clarity and
settle on one or two names.

Any help you could provide would be greatly appreciated!

To me, the name Angeline sounds much fancier than the names Timothy and Ellen. With sibling names, I especially compare siblings of the same sex: in this case, sisters named Ellen and Angeline seem set up to do a plot line with one sensible sister and one glamorous one.

Emilia doesn’t seem made up to me, but a 4-syllable first name with a 5-syllable last name (both heavy on L and M sounds) seems like it’s pushing the limit. I also think Ellie and Emmie are too close, and that Timmy and Emmie are too close.

Olivia and Madeline are both much more popular than you’d prefer: you’re hoping to avoid the Top 100, but Olivia is in the Top 10 and Madeline is there too when the spellings are added up. Madeline is also out if you’re looking for easy to spell and say: there are two common pronunciations and half a dozen common spellings. Olivia does have the cute nicknames Liv and Livvy, though, if you want them. And I think Madeline works great on a grown woman: I’m thinking of Madeleine Albright, Madeleine L’Engle, and Madeline Kahn, just for starters.

With Ellen and Timothy, though, I think I’d be looking for something different. The name Timothy is never really out but was especially stylish in the 1950s and 1960s; the name Ellen hit its high point in the 1940s and 1950s. I looked for the top names in 1955 and found these to consider:

Alice
Angela
Diana
Frances
Holly
Jane
Jill
Joan
Joanne
Joy
June
Laura
Louise
Mary
Robin
Rose
Ruth
Sarah
Susan
Suzanne

Some of these may be too similar in sound to Ellen, but it’s a little hard to tell: are Ellen and Alice too close? Ellen and Susan? And some might not work with the surname, but again it’s hard to tell: Diana Automuhnelly? Holly Automuhnelly?

My favorites from the list are:

Frances Automuhnelly; Timothy, Ellen, and Frances; Timmy, Ellie, and Frannie
Jane Automuhnelly; Timothy, Ellen, and Jane; Timmy, Ellie, and Janie
Laura Automuhnelly; Timothy, Ellen, and Laura; Timmy, Ellie, and Laurie
Ruth Automuhnelly; Timothy, Ellen, and Ruth; Timmy, Ellie, and Ruthie

Name update! L. writes:

Thank you for posting my question! We had a boy-thankfully-because I was just not excited about any of our potential girl names. I think that heading in to the hospital, we had narrowed our choices to Theodore or Henry for a boy. For a girl, we had Catherine and Grace and my husband insisted that Angeline was still a contender. When my husband said “it’s a boy!” I jumped at the chance to have a Teddy, and my husband passed down his middle name as our son’s middle. Theodore Joseph joined our family on May 10th and we all love our little Teddy Bear!

K. writes:

Ok, I have to come clean and confess that I visit the SSA.gov web site for popular baby names 3 to 5 times daily racking my brain on a name for our third child.  Our little girl is due in May.  Since this is our third and final,  I just seem to be drawing a blank.  I refuse to run names by my family/friends because it opens the door up for extremely vocal opinions.  Just recently when my sister shared her top two names before the birth of her daughter, (Beatrice and Margaret) so many people let her know that they hated Beatrice.  I do not want to open myself up to that.

My oldest daughter is Natalie Kathryn and her younger brother is Andrew John.  I would like to use Marjorie as the middle name to honor my maternal grandmother but it is not a show stopper.  Kathryn was the name of my paternal grandmother.  I think it would be cute to have both girls be named after my grandmothers.

Our last name is Stoke, with a hard o.  (Rhymes with Coke.)  I would prefer not to have only one syllable in the first name, I think it might be too choppy.  Also, we have alot of girl cousins in the family; so I need to avoid the names Olivia, Josephine, Amelia, Margaret, Lillian, and Valerie.  I also would like to avoid the “top ten.”

So here is our preferred names:

Avery
Elsie / Elsa
Eliza
Cecilia
Charlotte
Eleanor (love Ellie or Nora as nick names)
Kristen
Nadine
Noelle

I really like Nadine, I have no personal associations with that name.  But I was wondering if it had a “southern” feel. Any opinions?  I definately like that it is a less popular name.

I also like Noelle, but then I will have 2 daughters with christmas names (Natalie and Noelle).  Is that cool or too weird?

My husbands favorite is Avery, but then I wont be able to use Marjorie as the middle name due to too many ee sounds. From a previous post I just read on this site, I think the name Avery Elizabeth is just beautiful.  What about Evelyn Marjorie?

Any other names off my radar that I should consider?  I typically like traditional names, I really dislike newer names like Kaylee, Brooklyn, Madison, Kayla.  I have a strong feeling already that this child will spunky, I would like the name to reflect that! Help!

I don’t see how I can resist a name list that has my own name in it. I don’t think this has ever happened before.

I will say this: I have liked my name. I like the look of it and I like the sound of it, and I like the flexibility of it: I feel like a Kristen can be a teacher or a manager or a lawyer or a Target clerk. I don’t mind having to specify that it’s spelled with a K and an E. I don’t much mind the fairly regular confusions with Kristine, Kirsten, and Kiersten.

I do think of it as a Mom Name now, similar to Michelle and Melissa and Shannon and Nicole and Tracy and Amy and Kimberly and the other names of my peers. That doesn’t mean those names are not still usable now for new babies, but it’s like the girls my age named Barbara and Deborah: it’s a little unexpected to hear one generation’s name on another generation. Though certainly not all that unexpected, considering how many babies are named for their parents’ brothers and sisters.

I think of Nadine as not particularly southern but maybe a little dated, fitting with Pauline and Janine and Maxine and Francine. And yet it doesn’t sound DATED-dated to me, possibly because it wasn’t as common and because I don’t personally know anyone named Nadine: if I knew a couple of 50-year-old or 80-year-old Nadines I might feel otherwise. As it is, I think if I encountered a little girl named Nadine the name would feel fresh and interesting and appealing to me. A more current version would be Nadia. But I think both Nadine and Nadia seem very similar to Natalie; not so similar that you couldn’t possibly use them, but similar enough to take into consideration.

Natalie and Noelle seem like a sweet combination to me, and do somewhat bring Christmas to mind. I think that’s okay, though: it’s not even as themed as naming them Faith and Hope, or Rose and Lily; and it helps that there is another child in between. The name Natalie is common enough now (#14 in 2011) that it doesn’t feel like it’s only A Christmas Name, and Noelle fits beautifully with other -elle names such as Isabelle and Annabelle.

If you’re avoiding Top 10, I might take Avery and Charlotte and Evelyn off the list: Avery was #18 in 2011, and Charlotte was #27, and Evelyn was #24, all still rising steadily. I’d expect them all to be higher when the 2012 statistics come out in May.

I think from your list my favorites with Natalie and Andrew are Eliza and Charlotte and Evelyn. Next favorites are Elsa and Eleanor. Next Noelle and Nadine, which get their lower ranking not because they’re not a good fit but because each has a potential issue of being TOO good a fit; and Cecilia, which gets knocked down for having so many S sounds with Stoke. And last I’d put Avery and Kristen: Avery because I think it belongs to the modern style you don’t like, and Kristen because I worry about its mommishness.

Name update! K. writes:

It took some compromising (husband wanted Kristen or Lauren and I wanted Eliza or Nadine) but in the end we happily settled on the name Charlotte Grace. Thanks again for your help!