Hi Swistle,
We are three sisters, Anna (oldest), Lucy (me) and Kate (youngest).
We all love the name Sylvie for our babies! My due date is end of March. Anna’s due date is next week! Kate is due at the end of March too. None of us know the gender.

Anna has two kids already, Isabelle James Love and Henry James Love.
James is a family name so the name would be Sylvie James. For a boy, she has chosen Felix James. Anna thinks she has rights to the name as she is the oldest and is having her daughter/son first. She is insistent that Sylvie will be her name and that none of us are to use it. She likes classic names with nicknames. She calls Isabelle, Izzy/Belle and Henry, Harry/Hank.

I have one little girl, Etta Rose Carmichael. Now I think that Sylvie and Etta sounds like sisters! I think the name is perfect for me and I really, really wish my sisters would back off. I would love some help to pick a name for a little boy too. I have no clue this pregnancy for names! Some names I’ve thought about are, Lila, Lena, Emilie, May, June, Elsie, Constance, Lula, Jasper, Leo, James, Barney, Noah, Archie, Arlo, Milo, Harmon,August, Miles, Hugh, Forrest, Silas and Benjamin. I don’t really want two E names though.

Kate has no children but likes the names: Jocelyn, Lyla, Laney, Destiny, Annie, Gwendolyn, Piper, Leilani, Victoria and Thea as well as Sylvie. But Kate definitely thinks that Sylvie is her name. She refuses to even see the possibility of her not having a Sylvie. She wants her Sylvie to be Sylvie Belle Cobain which upset Anna because Belle is part of Isabelle’s name. She would also like help with a boy’s name although the middle name will be Braden.

So, Swistle please, please help us three sisters who are at war over Sylvie!
But here’s the interesting bit-we’ve decided that whatever combo Swistle picks for us will be the one we use! Swistle, you’re in charge.
Lucy, Anna and Kate xo

Here is Swistle’s decree: all of you may use the name. I mean it. All of you. In fact, I hope you DO all have girls and DO all use the name Sylvie, because there are already so many coincidences here it seems like the only way to wrap it up. Three sisters, all due in the same month, none know the sex, number of kids goes in age order (Anna 3, Lucy 2, Kate 1), all want the same unusual girl name? The ending I can’t help but root for is the one where we end up with three adorable same-age cousins, all named Sylvie. I’m picturing hearing that story from an acquaintance, and I would LOVE it. And since all three have different middles/surnames, that makes it easy for telling them apart within the family.

If the three of you are in agreement that only one of you can use the name Sylvie, I disagree that Anna has dibs because she’s the eldest, but I’d agree with the idea that the first of you to give birth to a girl has the right to use the name. Unless there is something else not included in the letter (such as a reason why one of you might have a greater claim to the name than the others), I think that’s the only fair way to decide: the name Sylvie belongs to the first baby girl born. It’s a little puzzling that neither Anna nor Lucy has used it yet, since each has had a girl, but I will assume there is an explanation that isn’t mentioned in the letter.

If the three of you are not in agreement on whether the name can only be used by one sister, then I suggest that the ones who don’t want duplication be the ones to voluntarily back out. It is an absolutely fine and reasonable preference to want one’s child’s name not to be duplicated within one’s immediate social circle. This can be achieved by saying, “Hey, guys, these are some of our finalists—do any of you want to use any of these? No? Are you SURE? Because we don’t want duplication. Okay, so you’re fine with me calling dibs? Great!” It should not be achieved by grabbing up names and saying “MINE! MINE! I CALL DIBS! NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE THEM, EVEN IF YOU ALSO THOUGHT OF THESE NAMES YOURSELF!” To put it another way: if you want names no one else will use, choose the names no one else wants, rather than banning everyone else’s use of all the names you want. If for example Anna and Lucy both say that only one sister can use the name Sylvie, but Kate feels all of the sisters should be able to use it, then Anna and Lucy should find names the other sisters don’t want to use, and Kate can use the name Sylvie.

I see no reason Kate’s daughter can’t have the middle name Belle, even if Anna’s daughter Isabelle is called Belle. That seems like a sweet tie between cousins. If it is truly upsetting to Anna for any of the cousins to share any part of any of their names, and if Anna is the only one who feels that only one sister can use the name Sylvie, I’d suggest this deal: Lucy and Kate agree that they can both use the name Sylvie, no matter who has a girl this time around; Kate agrees not to use Belle as the middle name; Anna agrees not to use Sylvie; Lucy and Kate agree not to use the name Anna uses instead.

Another option is to agree that none of you will use the name. This is painful, but may be worth it to preserve peace among sisters. Sometimes this is the only solution for two parents who are both clinging to their own favorite name: both have to abandon their first choices, and come up with something else they can agree on.

For Anna, I’d suggest a name that is more in line with her usual preferences, but perhaps we could find something with a nice V sound like Sylvie: Olivia (Livvy), Vivian (Vivi), Evelyn (Evvie, Lynnie), Genevieve (Genna, Evie). Or Sophie is very similar to Sylvie, and more on par with the popularity of Isabelle. Isabelle and Sophia; Izzy and Sophie. Or if she wouldn’t want to save Felix for a future boy, she could use Felicity if this baby is a girl.

For Lucy, my favorites are Lena, May, and June from the girl name list, and Archie, Arlo (though I find it difficult to say with the surname), Hugh, and Silas from the boy name list. For girls I’d add Flora, Josie, Louise, Olive, Ruby, Sadie, Sybil, Thea, Willa.

For Kate, the field is still wide open. The list of other names she likes is so varied in popularity and style, I’d suggest starting by thinking in terms of future sibling groups, to see if she can get a better feeling for her overall preferences. Does she see herself with more of a Gwendolyn and Victoria family? or more of a Destiny and Piper family? or more of a Laney and Annie family? or more of a Lyla and Thea family? Or is she more of the Happy Assortment philosophy, and will want a mix of styles? And her boy name list might look completely different: it’s common for parents to like one style for girls and another style for boys. Is she more the William/Henry/Charlie style, or the Braden/Caden/Hayden style, or the Hunter/Carter/Mason style, or the Ezekiel/Moses/Ezra style, or the Jett/Maverick/Arrow style, and so on and so on.

I do hope, though, that none of you have to give up your favorite and look for another name. Whether that happens by all of you having girls named Sylvie, or by all of you having nothing but boys from now on, or by only one of you having a girl this time and the other two no longer wanting to use the name Sylvie, I hope the story has a good ending—and that you will tell it to us, no matter how many years go by before you know how it turns out!

Name update the first!

Hi Swistle,

Important news, and answers to your questions!

1) Neither of us used Sylvie beforehand because when Anna was pregnant with Isabelle, she had a close friend named Sylvie who no longer lives in the same country. At the time, for her, it would have felt weird to name her baby Sylvie. She doesn’t like sharing names and it’s one of the reasons she was so protective over Sylvie! For me, my husband and I came up with Etta Rose at an early stage in the pregnancy and loved it too much to even think of another name.

2) Kate and I have both agreed to look at other names. At the moment, I’m liking Ruby May, Louise June, Lena Sylvie, Vera Constance, Lula June, Celia May and Lila Sylvie. Kate has thanked you for your suggestions and likes Thea Belle, Seth Braden, Asher Braden, Lyra Elizabeth, Savannah Belle, Savannah Kate and Oliver Braden. So, we do have some other names to look at and tension has died down a bit. We also are considering the idea of naming the babies Sylvie and calling them by nicknames.

3) Felix James Love was born early this morning and is DIVINE! Anna would like to thank you for your advice and has said that she will be keeping Sylvia and Sophia in mind for future babies… The tension has definitely diffused by Anna having a son as we’ve begun to realise that there is a possibility of all three us having sons. We’re calling him Lucky and Fox at the minute as some cute nicknames but he is more than definitely a Felix. Felix is 7 pounds and is 19.2 inches. Isabelle and Henry adore baby brother Felix and Anna is tired out but happy :)

4) Please continue being AMAZING and sending your fabulous comments. Kate and I are still battling over Sylvie. Perhaps we will end up with two Sylvie’s going by Syl and Liv. It depends. We see each other on a regular basis and kids will go to the same school to those asking. I will admit to backing down a little bit because I feel like as it is Kate’s first child she should get to use the name she uses. But I would still use Sylvie as a middle name.

Anna, Lucy and Kate xo

Name update the second and third!

Hey Swistle,
I’m Kate the third sister and I’m writing to you this time as Lucy is just a little bit busy at the moment!
With two kids, she’s struggling to find time! I’m happy to announce that I have a beautiful new niece named Sylvie Lena Carmichael. Sylvie Lena is adorable! Sylvie is 6 pounds and 18.8 inches. She is happy and healthy although quite little. SO proud of Lucy for my two beautiful nieces Etta and Sylvie.
On to other news, I gave birth to a beautiful little girl last night. She is the prettiest little thing. I am in love with her and being a first time mother is AMAZING!
Her name is Sylvie Piper Cobain. Yep, we both used Sylvie! We plan on calling them Sylvie Piper and Sylvie Lena when they are around each other as well as using nickname Syl for Sylvie Piper and Vee for Sylvie Lena. Despite me really wanting Sylvie Belle, my husband adores Sylvie Piper and I do too. Baby Syl is 8 pounds and 18.9 inches so Vee is the smallest baby of the three.
I know that a lot of people doubted the credibility of our rocky name journey but believe me, this whole craziness is real! We are all so happy to not be hormonal, crying, super pregnant wrecks any more!

Our husbands, (Anna=Joe, Lucy=Drew Kate=Ezekiel) would like to thank you for helping us learn that cousins can have the same name!
So, a big, big, big THANK YOU from Kate, Lucy, Anna, Felix, Sylvie Lena and Sylvie Piper!
Anna, Lucy and Kate xo

Hi Swistle,

My husband Ryan and I are expecting our first child, a baby girl, in late June 2016. We got married August 29th, 2015 and apparently got pregnant just a few short weeks later!

Our last name is Ofsthun (off-stune), so I love the idea of having a name that starts and ends with a vowel, to flow into our last name that starts with an O. I was really hoping at some point to find a super cute name that starts with an O (I like alliteration), but the only contender is Olivia – which we do like, but due to it’s upcoming popularity… probably won’t go with. I also have some on the list that only end with a vowel… (apparently I also like names that start with M’s or H’s among the majority that start with a vowel.)

Here is a list of contenders I compiled over the past few weeks, and then Ryan went through on my iPhone and “thumbed” them up or down based on what he likes. Isla was an early front-runner… but it’s currently at #5 popularity on Nameberry and I don’t want to name our daughter a name that a ton of girls in her school, class, sports team, etc. are also going to have. Granted it helps we already have a unique/uncommon last name… I still would like to be somewhat original on the first name. I also have been favoring Harper… but Ryan only knows men that are named Harper… so he associates that as a boys name and doesn’t like it (we aren’t trying to go gender neutral either).

Anyway.. would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions to help out with this process!

Aria 👍🏼
Aurora 👎🏼
Alina 👍🏼
Ayla / Aila / Aylah 👍🏼
Eleanor / elinor / Ellanor / Ellanoir 👎🏼
Ella 👍🏼
Elsa 👎🏼
Eliana 👍🏼
Ellery 👎🏼
Emery 👎🏼
Everly 👎🏼
Eliora 👎🏼
Embry 👎🏼
Elora 👎🏼
Isla / Eila 👍🏼
Isadora (Izzy) 👎🏼
Olivia 👍🏼
Oakley 👎🏼
Elizabeth-Izzy 👎🏼
Cosette or Cozette 👎🏼
Delilah 👎🏼
Maya 👍🏼👍🏼
Jaelyn 👍🏼
Rue 👎🏼
Blaise 👎🏼
Harper 👎🏼
Hadley 👍🏼
Harlow 👎🏼
Willow 👎🏼
Nora 👎🏼
Mazie 👍🏼
Mackenzie 👍🏼
Makenna. 👍🏼
Micaela/Micayla/Mikayla 👍🏼

Thank you! Let me know if you have any questions.

In case the thumbs-up/down symbols won’t come through for some readers, I’m going to make two lists:

Thumbs up:
Aria
Alina
Ayla / Aila / Aylah
Ella
Eliana
Isla / Eila
Olivia
Maya
Jaelyn
Hadley
Mazie
Mackenzie
Makenna
Micaela / Micayla / Mikayla

Thumbs down:
Aurora
Eleanor / Elinor / Ellanor / Ellanoir
Elsa
Ellery
Emery
Everly
Eliora
Embry
Elora
Isadora (Izzy)
Oakley
Elizabeth (Izzy)
Cosette or Cozette
Delilah
Rue
Blaise
Harper
Harlow
Willow
Nora

I notice that on the thumbs-down list we have most of the -or- and -ar- and long-O sounds. On the thumbs-up list we have most of the -ay- and -na and -la and M- and long-A and -ak-/-ik- sounds.

I believe the Nameberry site ranks names by interest/searches, not by usage. A name can excite a lot of interest and attention without that resulting in a high level of usage. Case in point: I saw articles last year saying that Katniss was one of the most popular girl names of 2014. Well. I mean, maybe it was one of the most popular SEARCHES, but it was used for only 38 new baby girls that year. Compare that to Emma, the actual most popular name of 2014, which was used for over 20,000 new baby girls. This is why for name popularity, my favorite site is the Social Security Administration, which shows only actual usage.

The Social Security Administration shows the name Isla IS gaining in popularity (though nowhere near #5):

(image from SSA.gov)

There were 2,122 new baby girls named Isla in 2014. However, there were 19,674 new baby girls named Olivia; 9,564 named Harper; 6,271 named Maya/Mya. The usage of Makenna and Mackenzie and Makayla is harder to figure out: there are so many spellings of each. Just to give an idea, here are the numbers only the spellings used for at least 500 baby girls in 2014:

Makayla 2,559
Mikayla 1,026
Michaela 654
Mikaela 530

Mackenzie 4,122
Mckenzie 2,303
Makenzie 1,766

Mckenna 1,388
Makenna 1,138

Another issue is that Makayla/Mackenzie/Mckenna peaked in the late 1990s and early 2000s: their popularity appears lower now, but there are so many Makaylas, Mackenzies, and McKennas already in the schools.

I seem to have gotten distracted by the data base, in my effort to throw support behind the name Isla. One reason is that almost all of the names on the thumbs-up list are either quite popular, or are getting there, or were recently there. It looks to me as if in general your husband prefers popular names. Without looking up the popularity for all the spellings, my guess is that Alina is the most uncommon name on the list, and I do think that would be a very nice option. Alina Ofsthun. I thought of suggesting Olina/Olena, but that spelling is making me think of product names.

Melina is pretty—sort of a combination of the Makayla/Mackenzie/Makenna group and the Alina/Eliana group. Melina Ofsthun.

Or Annika. Annika Ofsthun.

Or Nadia. Nadia Ofsthun.

I wonder if you would like the name Oriana. I went to school with a girl named Oriana, pronounced or-ree-AH-nuh. Oriana Ofsthun.

I wonder if your husband would like Juniper better than Harper. It has the sweet nickname Junie, and the U sound would be nicely alliterative with your surname.

Name update!

We ended up going with Isla as it was always the front runner and Swistlers confirmed my thoughts.  Went from Martha to June for the middle name though since she was born in June and to honor my great grandmother who was named June. And it has a great ring to it Isla (eye-la) June Ofsthun (off-stune).

Dear Swistle,

I’m Hillary, my husband is Shawn, our son is a 4-year-old Tiny Dictator named Grady, and we’re expecting Lady Baby in May. Our last name (I gave up my maiden name) sounds like more-ANNE but is consistently pronounced incorrectly as MORE-an (this is important later). This will be our last child.

Grady’s full name is Grady Shawn more-ANNE. Shawn’s family has a longstanding tradition of giving the first son his father’s name as his middle name and while I don’t love the tradition, I felt less strongly about breaking the tradition than Shawn felt about keeping the tradition. Grady’s first name was a name I had come across and didn’t initially love. Shawn loved it from day one and it came down to Grady or Max (the name I felt most bonded to). In the end, I was able to get on board with Grady because I found significance (Willie Nelson’s guitar player’s name is Grady, my dad introduced us to Willie Nelson music when we were kids and some of my favourite memories are of us ripping down the highway on the way to the lake singing “On the Road Again”) and I have no regrets. Grady is Grady and it’s made me a little more relaxed on this name search because I realize that in most cases, there isn’t going to be one magical, perfect name out there; the little person makes the name perfect. With that being said, I feel like I should get a bit more of a say in this baby’s name as Grady’s first was influenced by Shawn’s love for the name, his middle name is Shawn’s name, and the kids’ last name is Shawn’s surname.

There is not much overlap in our naming preferences. I’m drawn to old-timey, sweet and sassy names while Shawn’s suggestions have included names I think of as being very 80s or 90s (Jillian, Kennedy, etc.) or just totally out there in Sci-Fi Fantasy world.

We’ve managed to pull together a short list of possibilities and I thought we had a definite frontrunner, until my husband met a woman with the same name last week and she ruined it for him. Our list (in no particular order because I’m still holding out hope that my husband will forget about the awful woman and fall in love with my frontrunner and I don’t want to sway your opinion with my strong preference):
Scarlet
Holly
Mabel
Edith
Belle
Evelyn
Cora (my grandma’s name, I love it, Shawn is quite fond of it, it sounds terrible with our last name especially when you consider how people frequently mispronounce it).

I love but my husband has vetoed:
Ruby
Violet
Clover
Beatrice
Birdie
Marigold
Georgia
Margaret
Olive
Stella (we wasted this on the dog who I know will not be around forever, and in fact now lives with my mother-in-law, but it seems to upset Grady to think of his baby sister as Stella so we haven’t spent too much time considering it)
Greta (love this name but it feels too similar to Grady)
Grace (ditto)

My husband loves but I have vetoed:
Many Game of Thrones names
Penelope (I like the style but I had only read the name, not heard it, until I was a teenager so it will always be pronounced “Peen-uh-lope” to me.)
Luna
Annika
Astrid (Michael Scott and the Office have ruined this name for me forever)

Grady insists his sister’s name be one of the following:
Light Bolt
Beautiful Cake
Ginger
Rosie

Obviously he is not getting a true vote but I’m willing to include him in the process because it’s hilarious.

I have many naming preferences but I wouldn’t call any of them deal breakers:
– 2-syllable name followed by 1-syllable middle
– No hard G names
– Not easily nickname-able
– Alliteration does not bother me (I think it may actually appeal to me) but I don’t love rhyme-y names
– No top 100 names (for reference, we live in British Columbia, Canada http://www.vs.gov.bc.ca/babynames/baby2014.html)
– I’d prefer to stay away from A names (there will be 7 cousins all born in the space of 5 years and so far 3 are A names and 2 are unnamed)
– I love quirky middle names

My questions :

What other first names would you suggest based on our list of possibilities? I feel like there’s a name I’m missing. I love my frontrunner but I’m willing to accept that there’s a better name out there, I just don’t think it’s currently on our list.

What quirky, one-syllable name would you suggest with our list of possibilities? Maybe having a fun and quirky middle name decided would cement the first name choice for me. My current favourite middle name is Bloom but this will be a hard sell for Shawn. Further complicating the middle name decision is Grady’s honour name. Shawn wants to choose a middle name from my family so the lady baby has an honour name too, which I understand but don’t feel beholden to. My mom’s middle name is Ruth; my mom is lovely and worthy of honour name status; Ruth is 1-syllable which checks my box…but it feels like we’re just throwing it in there because it fits. Is a fun, quirky, and meaningful middle name as significant as a family name?

Thank you for any advice, suggestions, comments you and/or your lovely commenters can provide!

Hillary

I would love, love, love to see your first name as this baby’s middle name. Obviously this will depend on many factors. But I would love it, and so I am putting in my vote for that if it works out.

I’d take the family-name-versus-fun-and-quirky-name decision on a name-by-name basis. That is, if you choose a first name that has some quirk appeal, a lovely family name such as Ruth (or Hillary!) might seem like the better choice; whereas if you choose a first name that is on the solid/traditional side, a quirky middle name can make the entire name more delightful (Margaret Marigold, for example).

I think too that Ginger and Rosie might make great middle names, depending on the first name.

I’m so sad that Cora doesn’t go well with the surname. It makes me want to redo your family surname situation: your husband and Grady can have HIS surname, you and Cora can have YOURS. Well. It doesn’t have the bonus of being an honor name, but Cora makes me think of Clara. Clara Hillary Moreanne, Clara Ginger Moreanne, Clara Rosie Moreanne.

I think also Cora could be added to the middle name list: it bothers me so much less if a middle name has issues combined with the surname.

I’m hoping the commenters can come up with some good quirky one-syllable middle names. I find I have two mostly-non-overlapping categories: one-syllable names, and quirky names. For sassy/one-syllable, I like names such as Jo, Jean, Jane, Sue, Lou, Eve, Mae, Kay. For quirky, I like names such as Marigold, Clover, Primrose, Penelope, Clarity, Valentine, Emerald, Hermione.  In the overlap: Fern, Jude, Spring, Bee.

If I were looking at your list of finalists and considering them with your surname and with the sibling name and with your preferences (I don’t know why I said “If I were,” since that’s precisely what I AM IN FACT doing), I would put them in this order, from strongest to weakest candidate:

Mabel
Holly
Edith
Scarlet
Evelyn
Belle
Cora

Some of those in the middle (Edith, Scarlet), I kept rearranging, so this list isn’t solid—but at first pass Evelyn and Belle feel too common, Cora feels like it’s out because of the surname, and Mabel and Holly would be my own top two for you, with Mabel taking a strong lead.

You wouldn’t want to consider Maxine, would you? Sassy as a hat, and it ties into your first choice of Max from last time. Maxine Hillary Moreanne. Maxine Rosie Moreanne. Maxine Cora Moreanne.

I find I am drawn to Mabel Maxine Moreanne or Mabel Margaret Moreanne. They give me a happy feeling. Sassy without being lightweight, alliterative without being silly, and a fun and distinctive monogram. Grady and Mabel. You know what, I just feel like I want to call it: the baby’s name is Mabel. I won’t push, but Mabel. MABEL. I also like Mabel Ginger, Mabel Grace, Mabel Jo, Mabel Louise, Mabel Sue.

I wonder if you’d like Polly instead of Holly. Polly Moreanne; Grady and Polly.

Or Ivy. Ivy Moreanne; Grady and Ivy.

Marigold and Edith make me think of Meredith. Meredith Moreanne; Grady and Meredith.

I would like to see more of the name Esther. Esther Moreanne; Grady and Esther.

Name update!

Dear Swistle,

Thank you so much for your help (and the help of your readers!)

Our baby naming situation changed slightly after I wrote to you, in that the name Evelyn became the only name Shawn could see our daughter having (in the same way that Mabel was the only name I could picture giving to her). We ended up in this frustrating cycle of trying to have a baby name discussion and only suggesting our top name, over and over. Finally, in a fit of “What Would Swistle Do?” desperation, we both decided to forfeit our top names. Evelyn and Mabel were off the table. Initially I was a little disappointed to lose Mabel but I ended up being surprised by how not devastating it was to give up my favourite name.

Before tackling the Baby Name Wizard again (which seemed like a daunting task at a million weeks pregnant), we decided to seriously consider every name (apart from Evelyn and Mabel) on our “maybe” list. I kept coming back to the name Penelope. My reasons for not liking it (having pronounced it “Peen-uh-lope” as a child, feeling like “Penelope” could be my baby but “Penny” definitely wasn’t, wanting to avoid easily nickname-able names) become non-issues when I discovered that Poppy is a nickname for Penelope. Poppy is a name I love but hadn’t included on my maybe list because it seemed a bit too whimsical as a first name. I could picture a baby Poppy but not a brain surgeon Poppy. Penelope became the perfect solution. I’ve got my baby Poppy and she can chose to use Penelope in the future if she wants (and she may chose to use Penny but that’s fine too – I have nothing against the name Penny, I just couldn’t picture my baby being Penny). And since Poppy is already a nickname for Penelope, we avoid the issue of people giving her a nickname (it turns out I don’t dislike nicknames in general, what I dislike is other people giving my kids nicknames).

As for the middle name, I tried to make an honour name work but it felt forced. I didn’t want to use Hillary as a middle name (I like middle names that are short and snappy). I considered using my middle name (Dawn) or part of my maiden name (West) or even Eve as a play on my middle name. But in the end, we used Bloom. It checks off a lot of my middle name preferences (short, one-syllable, quirky) and it’s a noun that holds a lot of meaning for me. It’s an honour name without honouring a specific person and if in the future she asks why her brother is named after their dad and her middle name is just a weird word, I have a heart story to tell her that will hopefully satisfy her curiosity (or maybe she won’t care – who knows?).

So, without further ado, please let me introduce Penelope Bloom.

Thank you again for your help!
Hillary

Dear Swistle,

I feel like a crazy person. It’s 6 am and I have been awake for 2 hours (as has happened so many times this pregnancy) trying to find a name for our third baby due, like, yesterday. Thankfully, my first two babies were each over a week late. Since we’ve been discussing baby names nonstop and still don’t have one, I’m hoping this little one follows suit to grant us more time.

Any chance you could help us out? At this point, I would just name the baby whatever name you chose. I defer to you…and promise to send an update promptly.

Our trouble is this: I want to find a name that is compatible with our other kids’ names (first names: Esmé & Oliver, middle names: Monroe & Louie). I also would like a name that has even just a bit of a story since we found both Esmé & Oliver’s names organically from books while I was pregnant with them. The story behind the name doesn’t have to be great or terribly significant, but I’ve found our children really like knowing where we got their names and seeing the books from which they came. Is this a reasonable desire? Admittedly, it’s really complicating our name search. (Hey! Maybe this baby’s story can be that a sweet name-savvy stranger on the internet helped pick his/her name? How about it?! ; ).

In a perfect world, this baby’s name would start with a vowel but would have unique initials. I’m not holding on tight to this criterion, though.

The middle names will be after family members – Alba for a girl, Gordon for a boy. Our other children don’t have honour names for middles, so perhaps this baby could lack a story for their first name, but could be unique in being named after a family member?

My husband is stuck on a few names:
Louisa, Odette, or Mathilde for a girl/Anders for a boy. I like the names enough, but none seems quite right.
First of all, I don’t have “stories” for any of the names.
I’m not sure I’m keen on the sound of Louisa Alba. Also, is it feminine enough to pair with Esmé?
I don’t mind Mathilde, but is it too leaden a name next to the airier-sounding Esmé? Also, the nickname Matty seems inevitable and we know so many who go by Maddy.
I think Esmé & Odette sound compatible, but I’m not sure about Odette with the sibling group. Also, I read on several sites that Odette is the new hipster “it name” for girls…and it means this baby and our son sharing a first initial. What’s your take on Odette?
I love the name Anders and like it with our other kids’ names. I get hung up on two points: 1) I don’t like the nickname Andy AT ALL because of a negative association, but I can’t come up with another nickname. 2) I worry about introducing our kids and saying, “These are our children…Esmé, Oliver, and Anders.” It sounds almost like a joke.
My name picks are:

Adelaide from Johanna Spyri’s book Heidi (I would use the German Adelheid as it appears in the book, but I think it sounds too clunky with our older daughter’s name). We’ve read the novel, storybook, seen the movie, and the cartoon series many, many times. Our children have been obsessed with Heidi for months and nearly all their pretend games revolve around the characters and plot-lines from this book. It seems like a sweet story to tell this new little one (and our kids would be elated). My qualms with Adelaide are as follows:

I’ve read it’s about to become really popular as parents are drawn to the ‘Addie’ nicknames, but are looking for less common names.
We know so many Addie/Maddies and would rather avoid the Addie nickname (though Adelaide does provide a lot of alternatives – Ada, Adel, Dela, etc).
I’m not sure it fits with our other kid’s names. Is it too long/frilly a pairing with Esmé?
My husband is willing to consider it, but it’s not his absolute favourite.

Lucienne
No vowel, no story. But I think it sounds good with Esmé & Oliver and with the middle name, Alba. It’s feminine, but not frilly, which is usually the kind of girl’s name we’re drawn to. I like the nickname Lucie a whole lot (especially since we sometimes call our older children Esy and Ollie).
There are other girls names I have liked (though none have a story), but that my husband has vetoed: Ivy, Avis, Adele, Inès, Imogen.

Abel, for a boy. This name is “it” for me, but my husband thinks it sounds weak (I think it’s because he’s solely thinking of the fratricide from the Bible). We recently read Abel’s Island with our kids (because I remembered that my mother had read it to me when I was little). Abel starts with a vowel, has a story, sounds good with Gordon, I love the nickname Abe. I just can’t get my husband on board.

Can you please help us, Swistle? Are there any uncommon (preferably vowel-names) out there that we’ve overlooked that would sound good with our other kids’ names? Do any of the names on our lists jump out at you as being great in the sibling set? Should I let go of wanting this child to have a reason for his or her name, other than that his parents liked it? And how on earth do we find a solution to each having what we think is the perfect boy’s name?

We would so appreciate your help!

Kind regards,

Michelle

 

While I admit I thrill at the idea of being given full naming power, I will not hold you to that.

I do think “getting help on a baby name site” gives a good story. Let’s put a checkmark by that box. Perhaps we will end up with even more of a story than that, but it’s an excellent start.

I also like your idea of checking that box by having a story about the MIDDLE name. And I do think that “because his or her parents liked it” is a good enough story—especially if the older siblings participated. So no matter what, I feel we’re covered here.

I suggest abandoning the vowel quest. It is interesting to me how VERY MANY letters we get where a family has two children with vowel names and wants a third, non-duplicate-initial vowel name. Vowel names don’t catch my eye as a naming pattern, and there are so MANY A- and E- names, and so relatively few I-, O-, and U- names, that it seems to me an unnecessarily difficult task. Furthermore, it never feels to me like a task I can assist with, if the parents have already looked in the name book under A-, I-, and U-.

If I were you, I think I would feel even more strongly about having another name from a book than about having a vowel name. Time is short, but I wonder if it would help to go to the children’s section of a library or book store and start speed-reading? Or even better, think back to characters from your own childhood books, or from the books your children love now. If I do this myself just for a minute or two, I get:

Alice
Almanzo
Anne
Anthea
Benjamin
Charles Wallace
Charlie
Christopher
Edmund
Eliza
Elizabeth
Fern
Genevieve
George
Henrietta
Jane
Jasper
Josephine
Laura
Lucy
Margaret
Marilla
Omri
Phoebe
Polly

(I read fewer books about boys, it appears.)

Author names would be good, too.

I do very much like the name Louisa, and for me it has an immediate literary tie-in to Louisa May Alcott. If you too loved Little Women as a girl, I think we are home free. I think Louisa Alba works just fine, and that Louisa is feminine enough with Esmé.

Mathilde doesn’t seem too heavy to me with Esmé, though I see what you mean. I suggest a nickname such as Tilly, Tildy, or Hildy to avoid Matty/Maddy, and also to lighten the name overall. The literary tie-in could be Matilda by Roald Dahl, if you’ve read it and liked it.

Odette comes down to which preference is more important to you: the preference for a vowel name, or the preference for unique initials.

Adelaide doesn’t seem too heavy to me either (I wonder if it’s the D-sound that feels heavy to you?), or too frilly. The overwhelming usage of Addy names does make me less drawn to it. Would you consider using Heidi? Esmé, Oliver, and Heidi. It’s not what I’d call a perfect style match, but it doesn’t feel like a clash, either, and I am considerably charmed by the story tie-in.

Anders is the miracle name: it has the happy combination of unique initial AND vowel, and you and your husband both love it, and you like it with your other kids’ names. I don’t think it NEEDS a nickname, if you want to remove that strike: I wouldn’t be at all tempted to call an Anders “Andy.” I see what you mean about “and Anders,” but that seems like a minor concern: either you would change the order of the names (“These are our children: Anders, Oliver, and Esmé”), or you would change the phrasing (“These are our children: this is Esmé, this is Oliver, and this is Anders”).

So Anders is my boy-name choice for you. For girls, I vote for Heidi, Louisa, or Matilda. I do also like Adelaide (Della/Lady) and Lucienne—and in fact, Adelaide would probably be my first choice (literary tie-in AND vowel AND unique initial) except that your husband isn’t enthusiastic. But perhaps he’ll come around and it will be the perfect solution: Anders (his choice) for a boy, Adelaide (your choice) for a girl. Adelaide Alba feels slightly less than ideal, but I think it’s fine: middle names tend to be special-occasion items.

Name update!

Dear Sweet Swistle and Helpful Commenters,

We had our baby last Wednesday – a boy! He weighed 8 lbs, 10 oz. Although he made us wait for his arrival, we’ve forgiven him because of his blessedly short labour.

We were still back and forth about names after he was born. My husband felt – even though it was his only choice for a boy’s name – that our little guy just didn’t look like an Anders (but what an Anders should look like, we don’t know!). He also confessed that he felt this baby also needed a nickname and that he would likely have resorted to calling him Andy much of the time (not cool!).

We considered many of the suggested boy names, but it seemed there was a reason we couldn’t use them (husband vetoed August, relative named Arthur, we know a Charlie, name sounded funny with last name, etc…). With his first choice no longer seeming right, my husband came around to Abel. Our daughter had been pushing for Abel for the last few days before we named him, so she is elated. My husband is glad he has a nickname in “Abe.” Since naming Abel, his older siblings have taken to calling him “Abe-y Baby,” which sounds adorable said in their sweet little voices and instantly made the name feel like the right choice. And, as it turns out, Abel is a family surname on my husband’s side. So while I came up with the name, it ended up pointing to his side twice.

Had we had a girl, we think we would have either named her Adelaide or Lucienne, nn Lucie (though perhaps not had she not “looked like” either name!). I really loved the idea of Alba for a first name, but neither my husband nor the honouree liked it in the first name spot at all. I’ll mourn that possibility a bit.

Although we ended up with a name that fulfilled our silly wish list, it was so freeing to have your expert opinion, Swistle, that vowel-names aren’t a “naming style” and that this baby didn’t need a literary story behind his name. Should we have a fourth, I think we’ll have a much easier time picking a name (and if we don’t, you can really pick any name you’d like, Swistle!).

Thanks so much for all your helpful comments and insight. I’ve become a bit of a baby name enthusiast since reading the archives…I can’t wait to hear what happens with the 2 remaining sisters who both want Sylvie!

Thanks again,
Michelle

Dear Swistle,

I’m Krista and my husband is Jordan, and we have a two-and-a-half year old daughter named Fiona Maisie. Our last name is H0lmes. I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant with our second baby girl (due May 7). We absolutely love Fiona’s name and feel like it is pretty perfect…but now we’re totally stuck. I feel like because we like Fiona Maisie so much, we’re paralyzed by the pressure if coming up with something “as good” for baby girl #2.

Fiona’s name was almost Elise; Adelaide was also a contender. Maisie is an honor name, after my great-great aunt who was an awesome lady. If this baby was a boy, he would have been Nial James (yes, only one L). My husband has always liked Nial – since he was a kid – and I like it too, so that was that. James is an honor name, after my late father-in-law. For what it’s worth, I’m not a fan of Niala/Nialla.

This baby will be our last and we are seriously considering using James as her middle name, but whether we do or not will depend on what we decide on for her first name. Fiona has adamantly declared that her sister’s name is Lula. That’s what we refer to her as right now and the nickname will likely stick, but we’re not fans of any of the obvious names for which Lula could work as a nickname (Tallulah, Lucy, Luana, etc.). We’re not concerned about this – Fiona’s nickname has emerged as Bo, so having another kid with a nickname that’s totally random and not associated with her real name isn’t a problem.

We would like to find a name that is familiar but not common, easy to pronounce, and goes well with Fiona. I would like to try to stay away from names ending in –h or another name ending in –a, and if possible would like one that starts with its own unique letter (not K, J or F). The currently names that we’re considering are all over the map:

Margot – if this name could stand alone it would probably be the winner, but we’re not huge fans of the double “o” sounds in Margot H0lmes
Sibyl
Reverie
Ainslie
Maeve
Imogen
Carys – starts with C, which sounds like K
Aila – ends with a
Meredith – ends with h
Eisley – too hipster? Also, I’m not sure it goes well with Fiona

My husband also likes Leighton and Avery, but I’m not a fan.

Names that we like but can’t/won’t use: Eilidh (ay-lee) – love how this sounds, but the fact that it is hard to spell makes it a deal breaker; Elodie; Louise/Louisa.

Please help! The more we talk about names, the farther away from a decision we seem get. We would love to hear what you and your readers think!

xo Krista

I have the perfect name: Eloise. It is SO PERFECT, there is almost certainly a reason you have had to rule it out. But just look at this QUALITY LOGIC supporting it:

1. Fiona and Eloise both have three syllables, are similar in style/whimsy/awesomeness, and have the shared long-O sound. You say you don’t like the double-long-O of Margot H0lmes, but Fiona H0lmes has the same double-long-O thing, so my guess is that what you don’t like is the two-syllable/second-syllable-long-O situation, or maybe it’s the “go home” sound that is formed by Margot+H0lmes specifically.

2. Eloise is basically Elodie + Louise, both on your like-but-can’t-use list. It’s also similar to Elise, one of your frontrunners last time.

3. Lula would not be a crazy nickname for it.

4. It starts with its own unique initial and doesn’t end in -a.

5. I think you like the S-pronounced-Z sound: Maisie, Ainslie, Eisley.

The sister pairing of “Fiona and Eloise” just THRILLS me. I am feeling almost physical pain at the idea of you not using it. But because your lists circle SO CLOSELY to Eloise without mentioning it, my guess is that you HAVE thought of it and can’t or don’t want to use it.

In that case, let’s look at the other options.  My top favorite from your list is Imogen. I love it. Fiona and Imogen. I could almost get over the pain of losing the name Eloise.

My second favorite from your list is Meredith. I know you said you don’t want a name ending in -H, but I’m wondering if you’re thinking of the rule of thumb that suggests not ending a first name with the first letter of the surname—an overly sweeping rule meant to avoid an unpleasant clash/blend of sounds. In the case of -h/H-, and particularly when it’s -th/H- I don’t see any clashes or blends.

More ideas:

Annabel
Audrey
Beatrix
Bianca
Cecily
Clarissa
Claudia
Eliza
Genevieve
Lorelei
Lydia
Matilda
Minerva
Nadia
Ruby
Sabrina
Twyla
Winifred

You will notice I’m leaving in names that end in -a. I’m keeping that preference in mind, but so MANY great girl names end in -a, and it doesn’t bother my ear at all to think of two sisters with -a names.

Name update!

Hi Swistle,

Eloise James was born on May 19.  My husband likes to make fun of me about the fact that after months and months of agonizing over this decision I ended up blissfully following the advice of a bunch of strangers on the internet – and I wouldn’t have it any other way!  Imogen and Margot remained contenders right up until the end, but ultimately she is definitely Eloise.  Her sister still almost exclusively calls her Lula, so it looks like that nickname will stick around for a while yet.

Thanks so much for your response, and to your readers for all of their thoughtful comments!

xo Krista