We are having a surprise bridal shower for a coworker I don’t know well (our shifts don’t usually overlap) but feel fondly towards. She is a couple years older than my eldest child, and she is kind, and she has a pleasingly formal attitude like she should be wearing gloves and a hat, and she is being picked on by the same boss who has been picking on me.
I don’t know her well enough to choose a gift. I snooped for a registry online, and found one, but it’s the kind where people contribute money towards, for example, “dinner for two” or “couple’s massage,” which reads to me as “We don’t need anything except money.” Our workplace is doing a greeting card and anyone can add cash to it, so I’m going to take what I would have spent on a gift and put it as cash in the card.
But I would ALSO like to buy her a little token gift. Maybe something in the $10-15 range. I’m thinking along the lines of…whimsical/seasonal kitchen towels. I remember liking the fall-themed items we received for our fall wedding, and I thought of them sort of romantically. Or if they were still available, I might go super-practical and get her a couple of my favorite spatula/turners. Or a set of the wee little spoons I use all the time. Or I could give them a few of the pretty little ceramic bowls I find at HomeGoods/TJMaxx/Marshalls, which are the perfect size for a million things, and are also pretty. Actually, the little bowls idea seems perfect (useful; small; personal; pretty) and that is probably what I am going to do.
But pretend I did not just talk myself into that! Pretend it is several minutes earlier and I am still thinking! Because I AM still thinking, and have NOT yet purchased the bowls, so I am still interested in discussing this and hearing your ideas! Did you receive something small when you got married and you still use it all the time? I received a set of three small clear glass bowls; over the decades we have broken two but we still have one left, and we still use it all the time.
In situations like this, I do NOT worry (much) about accidentally getting someone something they don’t need/want: of course I TRY to get them something I THINK they will need/want, but if I fail in that task I trust them to redistribute all such items as they see fit: to a friend, to a shelter or pantry, to Goodwill, etc. And in this case, where I am ALSO giving them some cash they definitely want/need, and where I am a coworker and not even a close one, I am not worrying at all about my additional token gift, and we can just have fun with it.
It’s probably too big a cost for this, but we got a very nicely made, king-sized, cotton blanket (not a registry item) in a cream color, and we still use it 25 years later, and I often think fondly of the giver.
Yes! Measuring cups in non conventional sizes (2/3 cup, 3/4 cup etc). I always use them and think how much easier it is than to measure 1/3 cup twice
Oh yesssssss I have these and use them CONSTANTLY and consider them ESSENTIAL, what a GOOD IDEA
It apparently took me 9 minutes to (1) read this comment, (2) search online, and (3) purchase a set of vintage yellow Tupperware measuring cups.
I like to buy consumables when the recipient doesn’t need more stuff. (Or if they maybe do need stuff, but I don’t know specifically what they need.) Fancy jam/honey/chocolate, nice-smelling soap, pretty candle, that sort of thing.
Or potholders! Practical, and I bet you could find some seasonal ones.
I have an Oxo vegetable peeler that is THE BEST VEGETABLE PEELER I HAVE EVER USED. On one hand, kind of a boring gift. On the other hand, my parents gave me one for Christmas a couple years ago, and it was one of my favorite gifts that year.
I love when a gift is something the giver personally loves and uses, and when they include an explanation as to why. Like, a favorite cookbook, inscribed with a note, or when the family that I used to babysit for bought the multicolored napkins off my wedding registry, and included a note about how their kids liked setting their table with colorful napkins (when I sat for them they were too young to do this). So if you get her some cute little bowls, maybe include a note about all the ways you like to use yours.
I got married in the fall (many years ago) and got a few Christmas ornaments as little happies that accompanied gift cards, and I always loved adding to them to our tree and thought about the people who gave them to us!
I also think the little bowls is a great idea. They’re not something people always think of buying for themselves, but they are so handy!
Pens! New brides have to write so many things and nice pens make it more fun, especially when they like hats and gloves.
Related: nice thank you notes! You can never have enough!
Little bowls or spoons are darling and I can never have too many and I would be overjoyed to receive them any time.
Spices! Nice, fancy spices. Penzey’s is great, and Diaspora is even better.
Penzey’s is also unapologetically liberal in their politics now, which makes some of their spice descriptions really amusing. Here’s Outage of Love:
The ongoing Republican effort to end our democracy is Outrageous. The party’s purge of those disloyal to the January 6 plotters is even worse. When does a party end and fascism begin? When good people give up on being Outraged. Your love is strong; use it to keep Outrage alive. Outrageously good on avocados, eggs, fish, vegetables, salads, chicken, hummus, sandwiches, and cheeseburgers.
That transition into the last sentence makes me laugh every time.
Yep, I adore their marketing copy! And their philosophy. And their spices.
If you have a Hallmark near you, their “Our First Christmas” ornament is always sweet! Unless you know they don’t celebrate Christmas …
Swistle what do you use the wee little spoons for? I want an excuse to purchase wee little spoons for myself
Well!! I have three different kinds of wee spoons: one kind is somewhat larger (but still wee), and the other two are smaller. The larger kind, I use in a mug where I want to keep stirring periodically, like if it’s hot chocolate or if I put collagen powder in my coffee, but I don’t want a big spoon handle hitting me in the face. The smaller ones I use mostly for yogurt, or fruit cups. The spoon is small enough that it doesn’t tip over the yogurt/fruit cup, and is perfect for little bites. I also have wee forks, which I mostly use for coleslaw. I feel like I am not giving you enough examples for talking yourself into this purchase. I know there MUST be other things I use them for, because I use them basically daily.
I asked for tiny spoons for Christmas last year and I received them in my stocking and I use them all the time, mostly to eat ice cream or yogurt. And this probably doesn’t make sense, but when I requested them I said, “I want tiny spoons so I can eat my food “LIKE A LADY” and now all the members of my house say, “ID LIKE A TINY SPOON SO I CAN EAT LIKE A LADY”. And it is DELIGHTFUL.
We have a couple from the dollar store and some “expensive” ones from world market that are heavy and I vastly prefer the heavy ones for eating ice cream like a lady.
We use the forks for fruit.
I too prefer small spoons for a lot of things and derogatively use a term I picked up in All & Sundry for large spoons: cow spoons.
This reminds me of Lucy Knisley’s instagram post about the “Cool Spoon”. Her kids get mad that she gives the guest the cool spoon, then she posts a picture of the spoon. It’s rainbow/irridescent and oddly shaped. It inspired me to get a set of irridescent spoons for the kids, but I want a grown-up sized one for me, too! Maybe a rainbow set of his and hers silverware.
I love your choice to get them little colorful bowls. Those sound like the kind of thing I would use constantly, and would have warm Swistle thoughts as I used them. I am also a huge fan of dish towels — they are so necessary and versatile.
One of the wedding gifts I have used the most over the years is a beautiful trivet. i use it all the time, for hot dishes and also vases, and it’s pretty enough that I can leave it out on the sideboard or wherever even when it’s not in use.
A gift I think I’d buy now would be coasters. They come in handy so often and I always find I don’t have enough, and there are so many fun and lovely options, and they cost just too much that I never buy them for myself.
I like to give useful kitchen gadgets. Like a garlic press that’s especially good, or a silicone tube for rolling garlic in to get the skin off. If they’ve registered for a KitchenAid, I get the mixing paddle attachment that has a spatula edge (so it scrapes the bowl down as it is mixing. I do not know why that isn’t the standard mixing paddle that comes with the KitchenAid). My uncle gave me cooling racks and I think of him every time I pull them out. I also like the ornament idea (if Christmas is something they celebrate). A nice picture frame would work too, especially since they’re about to get wedding photos.
I like to give something to the bride for relaxation/pampering/self-care leading up the wedding. Cute sheet masks, pillow spray, a journal etc. A lot of women are pretty stressed immediately before the wedding, so I feel like it’s a nice thing to do. I certainly appreciated it at my shower!
A friend of mine is an amazing cook and told us how she loves her measuring spoons so much. Her mom went and bought a dozen of them before she went back to Korea, to give to all her friends – and took my friend’s set, too, for good measure (heh). My friend said she particularly appreciates those spoons because the set has a 3/4 tsp. And yes, she ordered herself the same ones again.
This the set from what I can see: https://www.amazon.com/TILUCK-Stainless-Measuring-Kitchen-Gadgets/dp/B0DKHHHTVS/
They’re very inexpensive, and would be perfect for pairing with a nice set of dish towels. And probably would be used for years and years.
Regarding the dish towels, you could also look for some book- or library themed ones. I like the thought of the present having a memory connection. So the towels could be for the time she worked with books and with lovely colleagues (if not boss).
I got a little bud vase as a wedding present and it lives on the windowsill above my kitchen sink and I put the little flowers my kids pick me from the yard in it, or the ones that got broken off their stems in my grocery store bouquets. Not something I would have thought to buy myself but I use it all the time and it makes me happy.
We were one of those couples who asked for money. Actual cash money. We were emigrating soon after the wedding, and really didn’t want Any Stuff to take with us.
However, a few people bought gifts, and we still have (almost) all of them. (The almost is because towel sets don’t last forever – but our adult son still has one of the towels!)
One is a large artwork that has moved everywhere with us, and others are knickknacks that all remind me of the folk (no longer around) that gave them. None were “useful”, but that would’ve been lovely, too. Bowls, or measuring cups, or spoons would all create a little smile when used.
A picture frame is my go-to bridal/wedding gift… Can stand alone as a present and be as fancy or not as needed or can be paired with a gift card or other gift. And will be useful for framing a wedding pic…
I always do picture frames too! It’s fun to try to find one that feels fancy in the right way– one with mother-of-pearl for a beach wedding, a very traditional silver frame for a fancy evening event, a wooden frame engraved with their initials and date for friends who got married in a local park, etc.
Even if I don’t guess their style right and can’t include a gift recept, they’ll have various of family members who might want a framed picture from the wedding, so hopefully plenty of opportunities to regift, too.
I don’t think I could ever have too many machine-washable kitchen and table linens—cloth tablecloths, napkins, runners, placemats, dish towels, and aprons. They eventually wear out and need replacing. Also, this was not on our registry, but the wedding gift I use most often is a stepstool.
Can you find a cheap-ish “Mr” and “Mrs” (or “Mrs” and “Mrs” if she’s marrying a woman) mug set?
My favorite wedding gift, which might not be useful for your co-worker, was not on my wedding registry. It was so simple: a metal colander with a box of pasta and a bottle of red sauce in it. The giver had etched our names and our wedding date simply into the metal lip of the colander, probably by hand, as the writing isn’t fancy. We use the colander almost every day, but the writing only catches my eye every couple weeks. Every time I notice it, it feels like a little secret message reminding me of good times. Just the best!
Also, someone gave me a set of cute dish towels when I had my last baby. They had fun interesting patterns, but were in no way baby related. I just got such a kick of of that! (Maybe because I was so over-saturated with baby stuff, and I really needed dish towels?)
My favorite, small, “not on the registry” things to give are a ThermoPop cooking thermometer and a GIR spatula. I have and love both and very much recommend them.
Christmas ornament! Either a wedding themed one or library/book themed.
I am sure the young couple don’t have enough ornaments (no one does really) and it’s the sort of keepsake they will look at every year and think of you!
I got married 21 years ago and it’s only in the last five years or so that I had to replace our potholders given to me by a friend of mine, the large mitten kind, one pair in black and one in tan. They were so nice and I thought of him every time I used them, which was all the time! I love the idea of Christmas Ornaments too.
When I got married I had like two or three bosses, and the one who lived in Houston bought a pair of fancy Henkel scissors I had on my registry. When I thanked him, he said “now you can think of me anytime you cut things.” He said it as a joke but I honestly DO think of him every time I cut things! Nice scissors are nice to have!
A friend gave us a pan scraper (rounded on two sides and right angles on two sides) in a wedding card and honestly that was the most useful and long lasting gift we got.
I think every home needs a magnetic bottle and can punch to stick on the refrigerator. I know it as a church key, and it’s as comforting as an old friend. Even the fanciest ones are under $10 and you can feel sure it will be used.
Bottle *opener*
My sister gave me a couple of bottles of fancy, fancy hand soap (Moulton Brown) as a housewarming gift and I felt so fancy for months afterwards whenever I washed my hands! They lasted for forever and the scents she chose were amazing. It was consumable and also something I would never, ever buy for myself.
I keep a stash of pretty GEOMETRY kitchen towels exactly for this purpose. they are wonderful
We said no gifts necessary at our wedding, and people brought gifts anyway, and I so treasure those gifts! I underestimated the pleasure of seeing an object every day, and how it activates a warm memory. Those memory-sparking moments are even more important the older I get, and some of the people I loved who were at the wedding are no longer here. I hope you bought the bowls. She will probably value them long after the wedding money is gone.