I always think about that line in Monsters, Inc, where John Goodman’s adorable monster character says something like this to his monster friend, “Hey, looking great! Did you lose some weight? Or a limb?”
a) ‘cos it’s funny
and b) because it just points out how stupid weight stuff is. Losing a limb wouldn’t affect how well comfortably pants fit around the waist or whatever but it would affect what’s showing on the scales, so my doctor would be happy with me!
Anyway I know that’s not your issue, and I understand your issue, and I share it. I lost like 15 kg recently, put back on 10 kg and I do not know why.
I’m sure some of it’s perimenopause, but ffs I have genuinely made a few changes (e.g. cutting out soft drink), and why have they not helped?!
I am 49, more thin and fit than I have ever been in my life, and you’re 100% correct – it is constant deprivation and exercise. There is no secret, no trick, and no other way to achieve it short of catastrophic illness.
Yes. Of the 2 superpowers I have acquired as a middle-aged woman I much prefer the invisibility to the ability to subsist on almost nothing, though I reassure myself that the latter will also be valuable in the post-apocalypse.
Same on the invisibility super power. I am definitely feeling that and it is such a strange feeling. In some ways, I’ve been leaning into it but in other ways, it makes me sad.
Could it be an insulin resistance issue?
I was overweight and constantly starving beyond any normal means. Figured out I had an insulin issue and it’s been way better since I started treating.
Samsie. Currently in a weight loss phase with weight training and more walking. Weirdly, I’m digging the weight training – because its kinda fun to lift more heavy as I’m getting into it. The YMCA has a chill vibe in the weight room and there’s lotsa women young to old & of various body shapes doing it. The brain power needed to eat a certain way is insane, though. Not sure how to keep it up.
To add to my previous comments: Both body-size inclusivity and idea that one can be fit at any size are important to me personally. Also, I’ve seen some health metrics change post-menopause and I’m working on being healthier with advice from doctor (bc of my family history of cardiovascular disease and diabetes). For me weight, food, exercise and health are pretty linked and I’m trying to figure it all out to be healthy-ish and also enjoy food. To your point, Swistle, I can’t always eat based on my whims and exercise is a big part of it.
The last time I focused on losing weight was during COVID. I lost 20 lbs but had about 30 more to lose and it was a struggle, the 20 took 6 months and then I plateaued until I gave up. I was SO. HUNGRY. I didn’t do anything except count calories using an app that told me the calories deficit needed to lose 50 lbs over x amount of time and once I got below a certain calorie count for my new shiny weight, nothing budged. It was so disheartening and being hangry all the time is not the play for mental health wellness. I was ready to eat my own arm.
I wonder – and I want to be clear that I am truly musing about this and not trying to be prescriptive – I wonder if being physically comfortable can be increased with exercise, regardless of level of thinness? Age-related muscle loss and loss of mobility are real things… can exercise to address those aspects of aging increase the body’s physical comfort? I get that this doesn’t really help if you are a person who dislikes exercise.
I am post-menopausal and definitely have a lot less thin-ness than I used to have, though my exercise and eating patterns are largely unchanged. I am working on being ok with this.
I have definitely found that I am slightly more physically comfortable when I do yoga regularly. Not enough that I stop wishing I had less stomach, though.
I agree with this. I have been working out a lot in the last 18 months… purely because a group of girlfriends started a 3 times weekly workout session which is a lot of fun and easy to stick to, as all our kids have finished school now. I find it near impossible to eat less, but gradually over time my body has gotten much stronger and it looks and feels better even though I weigh the same
It’s so stupid. Yet it’s so present that you can’t just say ‘it’s stupid’ because that makes it sound like we should just be able to get over it. And that is not possible in the world we live in.
I’ve lost about 15lb in the last year and am now in what would be considered a ‘normal’ BMi (under 25 but not a huge amount under) for the first time since before I had my son 6 years ago. Let’s not diverge into how stupid BMI is as a measurement of health here… (SO STUPID).
I am 41 and have a few early perimenopause symptoms but that’s clearly going to become more of a thing over the next few years and make things even trickier. So my thoughts are that maybe if I can get to a plateau I’m relatively happy with for now, and establish some healthy habits, it’ll be helpful as peri-menopause and menopause come for me?
I know everybody says that diet is the key to losing weight but for me it’s been a) stress at work and b) moving my body more. I had a v upset stomach every day for about 3 months at the beginning of the year thanks to work stress and being bullied at work, and I tried to handle that stress by running at least twice a week and hitting my 10,000 steps every day and going to a class every week where I swing kettlebells around to music.
I think I also just got out of the habit of snacking as much. The last few weeks have been vv intense with work again (new job) and I’ve been working 14-15 hour days and I’ve just been too busy to snack and I’ve lost another 2lbs. And I do try to not eat more processed food than necessary, we switched to a brand of sourdough with no added crap, etc.
I can’t diet. Psychologically my little brain is just like ‘I’m being deprived! Feed me!’’ and starts obsessing about where my next meal is coming from. But I *can* go on morning hikes with my friends, and meet a friend for a run instead of a glass of wine (that makes me sound so smug, I do BOTH, I often meet for a run and then we go for brunch ;)).
I agree with doing something in the morning before eating. Even if I feel hungry when I set out, I find I am surprisingly able to do quite a long walk or workout and not eat until 11ish with no problems. HOWEVER, when I am doing jobs at home, or sitting at work, it’s much harder to hold off eating.
I can’t diet–haven’t tried, but I know I would not work for any length of time because my mental state relies heavily on happiness from eating. So I just try to eat mindfully. That basically leaves it up to exercise. Ugh.
I know it feels big and scary but GLP-1s have made food noise vanish and I have never been happier. I just do the micro-dose (2.5) and it is life changing. I know there is so much stigma – hence my anonymous post – my ‘friends’ who read this blog would judge the hell out of me, but I would suggest trying it – you never know!
Yes yes yes. This type of stuff(medication) is truly life changing. I am happier with my health now on this medication than I have been in 20 years! Who ever judges you for availing yourself of this method of self care is ignorant and cruel. No one judges a diabetic, an asthmatic or someone with chronic heart disease for seeking treatment so screw ’em with their smug arrogance! There are many different types of gpl1 and gpl2 s out there so do your research carefully (not ticcctoc or fakebook) and speak with your physician or nurse practitioner.
I keep coming back to this. I’d love to hear more of your thoughts on the topic. I thought I was a body positive person, but I’m struggling with my own confidence due to a constant sense of not feeling at home in my own skin. For various health reasons, my body has changed a lot in the last few years and I know it won’t go back to the way it was. I don’t need it to! I don’t want to be a model, or even ‘thin’, I just don’t want to feel this uncomfortable all the time. Thanks for making space for this conversation, which is a tough one.
Hard same.
Preach it.
I’m not on one myself but I am watching a few friends become thin on GLP-1 medications. 🤷♀️
Yes. This. Thank you for giving words to this feeling.
I always think about that line in Monsters, Inc, where John Goodman’s adorable monster character says something like this to his monster friend, “Hey, looking great! Did you lose some weight? Or a limb?”
a) ‘cos it’s funny
and b) because it just points out how stupid weight stuff is. Losing a limb wouldn’t affect how well comfortably pants fit around the waist or whatever but it would affect what’s showing on the scales, so my doctor would be happy with me!
Anyway I know that’s not your issue, and I understand your issue, and I share it. I lost like 15 kg recently, put back on 10 kg and I do not know why.
I’m sure some of it’s perimenopause, but ffs I have genuinely made a few changes (e.g. cutting out soft drink), and why have they not helped?!
Anyway I hear you, Swistle.
Amen
Perfectly summarized.
Confirmed.
I am 49, more thin and fit than I have ever been in my life, and you’re 100% correct – it is constant deprivation and exercise. There is no secret, no trick, and no other way to achieve it short of catastrophic illness.
Yes. Of the 2 superpowers I have acquired as a middle-aged woman I much prefer the invisibility to the ability to subsist on almost nothing, though I reassure myself that the latter will also be valuable in the post-apocalypse.
Same on the invisibility super power. I am definitely feeling that and it is such a strange feeling. In some ways, I’ve been leaning into it but in other ways, it makes me sad.
Yeah, it suits me pretty well but I don’t approve of it. I blame the patriarchy.
Could it be an insulin resistance issue?
I was overweight and constantly starving beyond any normal means. Figured out I had an insulin issue and it’s been way better since I started treating.
Amen. Had discussions with my Drs last year and again this year about this.
Samsie. Currently in a weight loss phase with weight training and more walking. Weirdly, I’m digging the weight training – because its kinda fun to lift more heavy as I’m getting into it. The YMCA has a chill vibe in the weight room and there’s lotsa women young to old & of various body shapes doing it. The brain power needed to eat a certain way is insane, though. Not sure how to keep it up.
To add to my previous comments: Both body-size inclusivity and idea that one can be fit at any size are important to me personally. Also, I’ve seen some health metrics change post-menopause and I’m working on being healthier with advice from doctor (bc of my family history of cardiovascular disease and diabetes). For me weight, food, exercise and health are pretty linked and I’m trying to figure it all out to be healthy-ish and also enjoy food. To your point, Swistle, I can’t always eat based on my whims and exercise is a big part of it.
Wow! This post really took my breath away.
3 lines, 1 sentence and I feel it to my bones.
I am perimenopausel/menopausel and I am having a hard time adjusting to how that affects my weight/body.
The last time I focused on losing weight was during COVID. I lost 20 lbs but had about 30 more to lose and it was a struggle, the 20 took 6 months and then I plateaued until I gave up. I was SO. HUNGRY. I didn’t do anything except count calories using an app that told me the calories deficit needed to lose 50 lbs over x amount of time and once I got below a certain calorie count for my new shiny weight, nothing budged. It was so disheartening and being hangry all the time is not the play for mental health wellness. I was ready to eat my own arm.
I wonder – and I want to be clear that I am truly musing about this and not trying to be prescriptive – I wonder if being physically comfortable can be increased with exercise, regardless of level of thinness? Age-related muscle loss and loss of mobility are real things… can exercise to address those aspects of aging increase the body’s physical comfort? I get that this doesn’t really help if you are a person who dislikes exercise.
I am post-menopausal and definitely have a lot less thin-ness than I used to have, though my exercise and eating patterns are largely unchanged. I am working on being ok with this.
I have definitely found that I am slightly more physically comfortable when I do yoga regularly. Not enough that I stop wishing I had less stomach, though.
I agree with this. I have been working out a lot in the last 18 months… purely because a group of girlfriends started a 3 times weekly workout session which is a lot of fun and easy to stick to, as all our kids have finished school now. I find it near impossible to eat less, but gradually over time my body has gotten much stronger and it looks and feels better even though I weigh the same
It’s so stupid. Yet it’s so present that you can’t just say ‘it’s stupid’ because that makes it sound like we should just be able to get over it. And that is not possible in the world we live in.
I’ve lost about 15lb in the last year and am now in what would be considered a ‘normal’ BMi (under 25 but not a huge amount under) for the first time since before I had my son 6 years ago. Let’s not diverge into how stupid BMI is as a measurement of health here… (SO STUPID).
I am 41 and have a few early perimenopause symptoms but that’s clearly going to become more of a thing over the next few years and make things even trickier. So my thoughts are that maybe if I can get to a plateau I’m relatively happy with for now, and establish some healthy habits, it’ll be helpful as peri-menopause and menopause come for me?
I know everybody says that diet is the key to losing weight but for me it’s been a) stress at work and b) moving my body more. I had a v upset stomach every day for about 3 months at the beginning of the year thanks to work stress and being bullied at work, and I tried to handle that stress by running at least twice a week and hitting my 10,000 steps every day and going to a class every week where I swing kettlebells around to music.
I think I also just got out of the habit of snacking as much. The last few weeks have been vv intense with work again (new job) and I’ve been working 14-15 hour days and I’ve just been too busy to snack and I’ve lost another 2lbs. And I do try to not eat more processed food than necessary, we switched to a brand of sourdough with no added crap, etc.
I can’t diet. Psychologically my little brain is just like ‘I’m being deprived! Feed me!’’ and starts obsessing about where my next meal is coming from. But I *can* go on morning hikes with my friends, and meet a friend for a run instead of a glass of wine (that makes me sound so smug, I do BOTH, I often meet for a run and then we go for brunch ;)).
I agree with doing something in the morning before eating. Even if I feel hungry when I set out, I find I am surprisingly able to do quite a long walk or workout and not eat until 11ish with no problems. HOWEVER, when I am doing jobs at home, or sitting at work, it’s much harder to hold off eating.
I can’t diet–haven’t tried, but I know I would not work for any length of time because my mental state relies heavily on happiness from eating. So I just try to eat mindfully. That basically leaves it up to exercise. Ugh.
I know it feels big and scary but GLP-1s have made food noise vanish and I have never been happier. I just do the micro-dose (2.5) and it is life changing. I know there is so much stigma – hence my anonymous post – my ‘friends’ who read this blog would judge the hell out of me, but I would suggest trying it – you never know!
Yes yes yes. This type of stuff(medication) is truly life changing. I am happier with my health now on this medication than I have been in 20 years! Who ever judges you for availing yourself of this method of self care is ignorant and cruel. No one judges a diabetic, an asthmatic or someone with chronic heart disease for seeking treatment so screw ’em with their smug arrogance! There are many different types of gpl1 and gpl2 s out there so do your research carefully (not ticcctoc or fakebook) and speak with your physician or nurse practitioner.
I keep coming back to this. I’d love to hear more of your thoughts on the topic. I thought I was a body positive person, but I’m struggling with my own confidence due to a constant sense of not feeling at home in my own skin. For various health reasons, my body has changed a lot in the last few years and I know it won’t go back to the way it was. I don’t need it to! I don’t want to be a model, or even ‘thin’, I just don’t want to feel this uncomfortable all the time. Thanks for making space for this conversation, which is a tough one.