It is fair to say I am a little emotionally fragile right now. I am returning to some of the basics I remember relying on in the early days of the pandemic: eat! exercise! take vitamins! do something social—and that includes a quick text or email! clean something—and that includes doing something small that takes one minute, or throwing away one expired bottle/jar/can of something! notice when I’m scrolling/refreshing beyond the point of usefulness and do something else instead! Other soothing little thoughts: Go Easy. Give It Time.
I am despairing about Elizabeth missing her first few days of her very first year of college, and I am attempting (1) to put that into perspective (no need for me to list for you all the ways in which things could be worse, I feel we all have over-ready access to those thoughts) and (2) to remember how I have felt similar despair over other things that have Gone Wrong, and then gradually with time have felt less and less despair, until sometimes later I say “What? Oh yeah! I vaguely remember being upset about that!” It is likely that before too long I will feel less despair about this situation, too. I will wait for that.
I am trying not to despair over the certainty that soon Edward will have Covid: the goal all along was to push that inevitable event DOWN THE ROAD, which we have done; we have already succeeded in that goal. If and when it happens, everything/everywhere is set up to be More Ready to deal with it—and Edward has been given extra vaccinations because of being immunocompromised, and those vaccinations have been shown to lessen the severity of the illness. I will not think of all the various ways in which Covid could make the first semester of college difficult; I will not catastrophize and say “Well, ‘More Ready’ except if we are just plunging RIGHT BACK into overwhelmed hospitals and unfamiliar variants!!” And I will not rant about how we as a society decided we were Done dealing with Covid, and so now we get to keep dealing with Covid. Instead I will say again that the goal was to push Edward’s inevitable infection down the road, and we are down the road.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this stress right now. There’s nothing worse than worrying about our kids when they’re far away and we can’t be there to help. Mine is 31 and it’s been a hard year. We will get through it.
Sending hugs and love. XOXOXOXOX. It’s horrible feeling helpless.
I’m sorry to hear that Elizabeth is dealing with this to start her college experience. There is a Covid outbreak in Harper’s dorm – 14 cases on her floor so far – and feels inevitable that she will end up with it. As Harper was telling me about some of the things the kids have done to help each other – like organizing food runs for the students who have to isolate like a little college meal train – I DO think they will end up a story and something extra to bond over, but it’s a little difficult to be mindful of that in this moment. I’m holding onto the fact that serious illness seems to be unlikely and I appreciate your coping reminders.
It all sucks. I’m sorry. How is she feeling? How is she holding up.
I know you aren’t looking for positives, but when I got covid, I remember what a good feeling it was to know that I was finished with it for 6 months or however long it was. That was because I had an incredibly mild case. But I hope that in a week or so both of you can rest easier knowing that Elizabeth is safe from this particular worry
I’m sorry about Elizabeth missing out on the beginning of the school year. And you’re right, it’s good Edward hasn’t had it yet. Remember when everyone was saying “flatten the curve”? That’s what you did. Our current family score is parents one case each, youngest kid two, oldest kid none (unless asymptomatic), all in fall 2022 or later.
Also worth noting, this was the first year my kid’s summer camp had no testing requirement and the first year there was a small outbreak (5% of campers, including mine). This is why we can’t have nice things.
Yup.
I am reminded of the childhood car trip every summer to see my grandparents, and how there was one industrial center that just smelled horrible, and I couldn’t wait to get past it. But even when we drove down the road and it was behind us, you could still smell it.
I have a new stash of masks and I have been scanning the QR codes on our tests to see whether the expiration dates have been changed. Yay.
Haha, I love your analogy! (We had to pass the paper mill on the way to see the grands)
Ugh. I’m sending positive thoughts your way.
Definitely making their transition to college much harder on you! Stupid Covid still ruining everything.
I am sending you a big hug. I’ll also send you a “this is hard, here are treats” care package if there is a way to do that.
It sucks! It will get better. It still currently sucks.
So stressful to deal with this from far away. Sending hugs.
I’m so sorry! I am sending every positive thought I can think of your way, along with lots of love and sympathy. Hang in there. Your coping skills are serving you well.
Of course you’re fragile! COVID has made an already-difficult life event much worse–and for you that event was already multiplied by two! Sending all my sympathies.
Can’t blame you for feeling tender. I hope Elizabeth is better soon! And your worries about the twins will abate soon! And just maybe, sometime in the future Elizabeth coming down with COVID during her first week of college may be a really good story to tell.
Yes. We would like Edward (and really, everyone) to never catch covid [or never again catch covid], but things are less swamped, and also there are more actually-good treatment options now! Personally, I have two immunosuppressed friends who have caught it, and they are both fine again now, and neither even had to spend any time in hospital. (I still wish we were, as a society/institutions/individuals-other-than-the-few-people-still-wearing-masks-indoors, doing stuff to *reduce* the number of people who catch it. But it’s still a fundamentally different situation from the peak of, say, the Delta wave.)
Nothing terribly interesting happened in my first few days of college, outside the Co-ed Dorm Surprises I had; once I was in 300/400-level classes within my jam-packed major, then the first week was more vital, but otherwise, while I would not generally recommend just skipping a week of class for the heck of it, it’s more feasible than you would expect to hop in at the second week, esp. for someone who is socially aware and smart who can, say, read the textbook while sick (I assume she has contacted professors to let them know she’s sick so any attendance-graded classes can categorize this as excused absences? They often will make extra accommodations for that, including sometimes lecture slides). She will likely be able to catch up just fine in all the ways; she will meet people! She can make extra friends by asking about what was covered while she was sick! A lot of schools now have their syllabus/etc. stuff online and she is smart enough to actually read it, which will put her ahead of some varying but potentially large percentage of her classmates, if all I hear from current faculty members at a variety of schools is true! And she can catch up on things. AND she can go to office hours to ask professors/TAs questions, which will put her *ahead* of the game in a number of ways.
(I am not saying “oooh, covid at the beginning of the semester, the best way to start!” but honestly it’s better than at finals or during the last bit of time before a big project is due, and also there are a number of things that can help her catch up extra-fast and *then* she’ll know what to do for all future glitches, too! Learning the college tools you can use if needing to catch up via a totally-not-your-fault non-attendance is *really helpful* for other situations where you might feel like you shouldn’t *need* to catch up but you do; if you slept through a lecture or just didn’t understand something that it seems like everyone else did, etc.)
This is indeed anxiety-inducing but your coping thoughts are right. This is later. A young adult in hospital has so many treatments available that we didn’t have three years ago. We understand the disease better each day. It is objectively better to catch covid now than it was one or two years ago, even if we wish no one would ever catch it.
I hope this becomes an almost forgotten blip in an otherwise lovely time for all of you.
I’m so sorry Swistle – for you and Elizabeth.
I know you don’t want to rant about How We Are Done with COVID – but I certainly want to. It sickens me that people just don’t care anymore about others.
Fingers crossed that Edward continues to avoid it and that Elizabeth is on the mend soon.
My new college student got sick the day his package of COVID tests arrived (Mommy love oo and is a superfun parent!), and the good news is that it’s evidently just a cold.
Today is his birthday, and the birthday cake components I sent arrived in good condition, so I’d be feeling pretty triumphant if he were in a position to enjoy Project Frost and Share.
In his case, I’m hoping that this will be a lesson in staying on top of stuff when all your classmates are as smart as you are and things are coming at you fast and heavy.
On the plus side, he did say that the stuff in his first aid kit was coming in handy.