Christmas card update: BY FAR the most cards arrived yesterday, the 16th. I now have a nice border around part of a doorway.
Some Christmases involve a lot of quiet reading of Christmas books by the lovely light of the Christmas tree, and other Christmases involve roadrunner legs spinning somewhat less than merrily, and for me this Christmas has been one of the latter kind. I am trying to enjoy it for what it is, instead of feeling as if Christmas is not as good and/or will always be like this. This year maybe it’s hard to fit in the lovely-light readings of the Christmas books; so what? Next year those books will be fresher for having had a rest year. This year maybe I didn’t do much baking; so what? Other years have been big baking years, and that was fun but it doesn’t have to be like that every single year. This year maybe we haven’t watched as many Christmas movies; so what? Last year we watched a ton of them, so maybe last year was a Christmas-Movie Christmas and this one just isn’t, and that’s fine! A few things are arriving late, so I will have to wrap little slips of paper. Who cares? So what? Christmas is not ruined! It’s fine!
This year maybe I’ve had to pay the Christmas Tax a few times: spending more for gifts/shipping because I put things off too long and then needed to fix it with money. So what? Most years I don’t have to do that; most years I save money on sales and deals; most years I ship in plenty of time. The money saved those years helps cover this year.
This year I dropped the ball a couple of times, or else a shipper did, and I had to make silly inefficient drives just to get one single thing—like driving 40 minutes each way to buy a gift card in person, because I’d ordered it online on November 20th and it still hadn’t arrived or even shipped, and the online retailer was like “Huh, weird!” and their only proposed solution was to give me a refund. But listen, it got FIXED! It may have been silly, it may have been a waste of time, it may have been frustrating—but now it’s DONE and I have the gift card.
This year I made more than the usual number of decisions to do things in a non-preferred way, in order to save time and/or mental energy. Normally I prefer to spend a lot of time carefully choosing gifts for Paul’s sister, and then have them shipped here so I can wrap them festively and tuck them into a box with little festive treats tucked into the gaps. This year I opted to have some less-personally-chosen things shipped directly, because I couldn’t seem to get it together, and because I was feeling stressed about it instead of the usual excited. That’s fine! It’s fine! I cared a little to miss out on doing that, but I didn’t care a LOT, and if she cares at all she probably doesn’t care a lot either; and the relief of crossing that entire set of tasks (ordering! wrapping! box-finding! festive-treat-tucking! taking the whole thing to UPS and standing in line!) off of my To Do list was considerable.
And so on. I am trying to focus on the things I am Getting!! Done!!, because that’s a good feeling, and better than the feeling that I am LATE, I’m LATE, it’s all so LATE!! Today I mailed Rob’s Christmas box, which was not as extensive a box as I’d planned, and was more expensive than I’d intended because one of the items was on the bulky side; but that’s okay because Done is better than Perfect, and because probably the relative simplicity is what he would in fact prefer, and because larger things just cost more to ship and that’s all there is to it. If it doesn’t get there by Christmas I will be very, very stressed and sorry, but let’s just focus on the fact that NOW it is out of my hands and on its way. Also, I had some other miscellaneous stocking things shipped directly, so at least he’ll have THOSE. And probably the package WILL arrive in time.
These are all very good coping thoughts, Swistle. Thank you — I like to tuck them away. We had a couple of snafus with retailers, which is so frustrating. One gift arrived in a box that was so damaged the items inside fell out the instant I removed the box from its envelope. The retailer’s solution was to send a new box, and the box hasn’t arrived yet, so I just taped the original box back together as best I could and wrapped it and sent it on to my niece. The box isn’t perfect; so what? The gift is intact and all the parts are accounted for.
And another retailer shipped a gift for my mother-in-law and it got lost. It’s floating around out there somewhere. They sent a new one, but it just arrived yesterday and I still need to wrap it and turn around and send it to her. Maybe it won’t get there by Christmas, but so what? She will have a couple of other gifts to open on Christmas. It will be okay.
I’ve noticed a lot of this among coworkers and in myself. People are dropping balls, missing meetings, arriving late, and scrambling at the last minute because something was forgotten along the way and is now an emergency. And this is among a group of type-A personalities in an office-type setting, so I’m not surprised that people in physically demanding jobs like shipping are also making mistakes. I think that the last few years are catching up to us (the collective, societal “us”). I’m trying to be generous with others and gentle with myself, but that’s also hard when burnout was a few exits back and the mistakes mess up my plans and generate yet more work or errands. All that is to say, you aren’t alone and take good care.
You’re right, everything is catching up with us. I’m going to remind myself of that this coming week, and of past Swistle wisdom about natural fluctuations in holiday magic and enjoyment. In 2020, the sheer novelty of Christmas at home in a pandemic got me through, and 2021 was our first Christmas in our new house, so that was fun too. But this year it’s not working- not the lights, the sparkly decor, or the cookies (ok, the cookies are working some). My kids are excited of course, but that’s kind of oppressing me. I guess I am excited to have finally hit on what I think will make Winter Solstice special- making candles, stringing popcorn for the chickens, lighting a fire in the fireplace, and serving mulled cider and beef stew (the most pagan recipe I could think of). Axial tilt is the reason for the season, after all.
I spent two weeks at thanksgiving in Texas and I’ve been scrambling since. My FIL was put into memory care tues after turkey and we’re about to put one of our dogs down so it was a very emotional and stressful visit. Two of my kids have Christmas birthdays and this year they’re 21&18. So we’re taking them to Vegas for tenacious d on nye and this will be spectacular. We also went on a trip to Philly this month and had a school night Christmas performance. I’ve not bought a thing or put out a single decoration. But I think this will still be a nice memorable year. I’m so tired
Geez, no kidding. Huge sympathy to you. The NYE thing sounds amazing.
Swistle, I just want to recommend Pirateship.com . We’ve been using them for years. You do have to weigh your packages, but my digital baking scale has always done the trick. They give you UPS and USPS (including priority mail!) prices, you pick what you want, pay, print the label and then just drop it off. It is cheaper and SO MUCH faster.
I did this directly with UPS and it was a GREAT decision.
Yes yes, a million times yes. I adopted the “do what you can and let the rest go” motto years ago, but let’s be honest, it has to be repeated many times and it’s hard to really believe. My Christmas cards were actually written and addressed in plenty of time this year, but I order wallet prints to slip in them and I also ordered those early, but they are so late and my cards are going to be so late. I have mailed away the ones to Facebook friends who don’t need pics of my kids, and the family ones will be late and THAT’S FINE. We said we were going to go a little less crazy on gifts for the kids (I only have two of them, please feel free to tell me to fuck off) and I did, and now I’m a little sad about it, it will be fine!
I am frantically tracking three international packages ordered at the end of November in a fit of whimsy and optimism. Still a little excited but also wondering what the *heck* I was thinking. I have bookmarked a zillion cookie recipes but have a zillion pots and pans to wash and a case of the Don’t Wannas. I had been on a fairly amazing yoga streak but have slept until 1 pm the last two days. Hoping for a second wind full of Holiday Cheer!
Oh, yes, the roadrunner-legs is a great description! I know just what you mean.
As a gift to myself this year I have decided to do the barest minimum. I have not decorated at all or baked anything. I have only bought two gifts and will probably buy just two more. I sent out about a dozen postcards. My husband and I are not exchanging gifts. We’ve decided to go to fun. slightly expensive events instead. I have to reminding my self it’s okay to do this. I have this feeling that I’m behind even though I know I’m not. Phantom roadrunner-legs, lol!
The road runner legs is a GREAT description. But when I first read the title, I mis-read it and thought it said reindeer legs. I had to stop and ponder what reindeer legs might be.
I don’t know what it is about this year…but boy, oh boy – I sure hope next year is a little calmer, less busy and less stressful. I still need to order a few more gifts but I am struggling to come up with any ideas for those last few things and then there are the stocking stuffers. And the baking. *sigh* Let’s not even discuss the fact that zero day to day house cleaning has been done since I can’t remember when
What gets done will be what gets done. At this point, I’ve come to accept that.
Love the roadrunner legs analogy. I am in awe at how much you do for Christmas even when you’re not doing as much as some years.
Half assed is always better than no ass!
I’m the opposite this year. The beginning of the month felt so crazy and busy, but I am looking around and somehow despite it all the Christmas stuff got done? I really feel like I’m forgetting something, but if I am it doesn’t seem to be anything we miss
Yes to all of this. I had some really big issues at work this year, which had me mentally unable to get things done at home. I did manage to send packages to my daughter in Spain, but mistakes were made, and we spent way more on shipping than the actual contents were worth. But it’s fine, she’s only waiting for one more, and it’s much better to open packages than receive cash, right? It’s only money (in a year when we have less than usual due to the work issues). Coping thoughts, for sure.
I also am relating to the roadrunner legs analogy. Fortunately I got my cards out early this year, even though there was a hold up at the printer with the poem/photo insert that delayed my ‘early’ by a few additional days.
I am sick in bed with covid. Fever and symptoms started on Friday. Tested positive yesterday. I’m hosting Coach’s side on Friday. 18 people. Then on Christmas day, I’m hosting my side. My mom was just diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. We haven’t gathered for Christmas since 2019, because my dad is immune compromised. My folks ALWAYS have hosted Christmas and I’m trying to make it super special at my house this year. Three college kids got home this week and their stuff is everywhere. I have quite a bit to do, but I just keep telling myself that it WILL get done.
First and foremost, no one else can get covid in the house or we will have to cancel. My house looks like a bomb went off.
I hope Rob gets his package on time.
I am so, so sorry to read this. I hope you will recover quickly and that no one else gets sick!
I think Christmas Eve being on a Saturday has really made this year feel strange. Like, Christmas is in a week! It feels just a little off-kilter.
I agree with this. It feels like because Christmas is on a weekend that we’re losing an extra needed weekend of prep time. I know that isn’t actually how the calendar works and that technically we’ve had just as much time to prepare this year as we always do. But something about the Saturday/Sunday holiday is throwing me off, too.
ALSO, it allows companies who normally give employees those days off to stiff them. Last year when it was Christmas Eve Fri and Christmas Sat, my husband’s employer gave them the 23rd off to compensate. But this year they gave them a “floating holiday” which is butt-covering nonsense.
I got an early start and bought a lot of things in plenty of time. To be fair, I really only have 4 people to buy for, and they are all adults, so it could be a lot worse. Here’s my tale of shipping woes and holiday stress (warning: in the grand scheme of The Everything, my troubles are NOTHING.)
I ordered something WAY back; it was a Kickstarter, so YMMV, I was taking a calculated risk, etc.. However, one of the options was to pay extra for GUARANTEED BY CHRISTMAS delivery. In my excitement, I said YES and sat back to await arrival.
Sure enough, pretty soon the messages came: please send us your current address; shipping is happening; watch for your tracking. Wheeee! Then I got my tracking number: My package had been shipped to the UK!! (I live in the USA.) I contacted the fulfillment company and they said, oops, wrong tracking number, try this one. The second tracking number said my package had been delivered several days before.
Hmmm. No package. Angst, worry, complaining. Digging deeper it turned out the package had been sent by UPS “SurePost,” which means that the package went by UPS to my local post office, and then USPS to my house. OK, good… I found the USPS tracking number, which had been helpfully provided by UPS. That tracking number returned a result of “we haven’t gotten the package yet.”
More waiting, and then after several days of no tracking info from USPS (and no package), I went to my local post office which, let me tell you, was crammed to the rafters with boxes. It looked like that last scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Unsurprisingly, they were not helpful. They agreed that the tracking number led nowhere, and suggested that I contact UPS. Bottom line: UPS says the post office has it; post office says we never got it.
Still with me? A week after the supposed delivery, I started wrapping presents. My dining room table is covered with boxes and bags. One of the boxes is… the missing package. My husband must have brought it in and, I’m sure he told me! And, when I saw the box I had a flashback that I had probably seen it too, the day it arrived! And then promptly forget that it came!
I am not proud to say that I WAY overreacted, pouted and lost sleep, and all for a stupid gift that doesn’t really mean anything in the end. At least I was not rude or angry with the people I contacted at the post office and the original shipper. Although I will admit to having been very whiny.
These past few weeks I’ve been feeling big time like I’m zipping around like the road-runner you describe. One thing made me feel less harried. My 84 year old dad was going to take a trip with us this Christmas and now his health is bothersome in a way that he’d rather stay home. He’s not coming on our trip, for which the planning is keeping me busy. I chatted with an aunt and she was very not-stressed about the holidays, now that her kids were grown. She mentioned how she used to be so busy at the holidays when they were little. I guess the idea that Christmas won’t always be like this and one day I’ll just sit out some of the busy stuff made me feel more calm. I suppose one could dwell on the one day getting old and having less to do because of being old, but what struck me was enjoying the moment and making the most of the present.
I have a friend in Europe whose children I buy xmas gifts for, and EVERY YEAR I wait too long because I forget how long it takes to ship things to Europe, or how few online retailers ship to Europe, etc. This year I was SO PROUD of myself because I had ordered gifts for all three of her children BEFORE THANKSGIVING so I’d have time for them to arrive, for me to wrap them, AND to get them to the USPS in early December. WOW AMAZING GO ME!
…..and then I realized one gift I’d ordered was coming from China. Apparently, by mule. It arrived last week finally, after a MONTH in transit, and it is DESTROYED. It looks like it’s been literally run over by a car. So I had to get a totally new gift, and I’d delayed the package already by several weeks, and ARGH ARGH (none of this matters; gifts will be received; etc etc etc just DUDE I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT FINALLY! AND YET! SAME OUTCOME! Is the moral of this story don’t bother doing everything right? 😂)
Our tree isn’t decorated – it’s been standing naked in our living room for almost a week – and I’ve got some small gifts and stocking stuffers not even bought yet, but that’s okay, because my whole house has just come down with Covid so we’re delaying Christmas anyway. I can’t do any last-minute running around even if I want to. Hahahaha*sob*.
We managed to last a long time, but I guess it was inevitable at some point.