My great-aunt died recently and not unexpectedly, after a nice long life. She was one of the very few people I still exchange written letters with. I was so happy that I had written to her just a week before she died: what perfect, perfect timing. But the letter was just returned to me, several weeks later, unopened.
I can’t find the post where I mention that I wrote a letter to the head of the pediatric GI department about our experience in a shared room (oh, here it is, but it’s just a super-brief mention of it, no description), but anyway the next time we went in, it turned out the department head had SHOWED THE LETTER TO THE NURSES, WITH MY NAME. SIR. It seems reasonable to share a feedback letter with staff, but NOT INCLUDING THE IDENTIFYING INFORMATION. So that then a nurse SPOKE TO ME ABOUT IT. It was mortifying, even though the nurse in question was very supportive, said she thought a lot of other people probably felt the same way, and described my letter as “advocating for a lot of people”; I knew that the nurse who rolled her eyes and said the new policies were “borderline neurotic” and that this was “really no different than flu season” must ALSO have seen my letter.
The upshot is that they are going to give us our own room every time, but they are not going to be making any policy changes overall, and the department head sent me a letter telling me that they “had been assured” (nice use of passive tense) that it was perfectly safe to have two patients and two parents sharing a smallish room for hours. I guess if the only thing on offer is “Squeaky Wheel Gets Her Own Room Because She Is Weird and Paranoid,” I’ll take it; but that wasn’t what I wanted. What I wanted was for ALL patients to get their own rooms.
Our school board laid out a reasonable plan for virtual school with community health based metrics deciding when kids go back to school. A few weeks later they lowered the standards – I was disappointed and wrote a letter saying so. However the risk level rating has been rising, so it seemed like a moot point. I send another letter before the last board meeting saying I supported virtual school. Then yesterday the board threw away all the plans and decided to send kids to in person school (we had been virtual and it was excellent). Oh and the documents have conflicting information and they will No longer commit to going back to virtual if covid levels go up more. And we have to decide by Monday.
My letters didn’t help.
“…telling me that they “had been assured” (nice use of passive tense) that it was perfectly safe to have two patients and two parents sharing a smallish room for hours”
By whom, the voices in their own head? Unless they give a source and it has “CDC” somewhere in there, I wouldn’t be buying that either.
I’m glad you’ll get your own room, but I agree that it’s just so disappointingly careless an approach to otherwise keep putting total strangers, that for various and likely at-risk-relevant reasons have to be at the hospital in the first place, into a small and enclosed space together for extended times. A hospital should be the one place at least where people know better, and care to act on that better knowledge, too.
This was exactly my thought: assured by . . . who exactly? A 5 year old down the street? Your imaginary friend? A yogi in Tibet? This kind of behavior in a medical facility where they should know better is disheartening
I am appalled that they shared your name. DEAR GOD. And who assured them? How come they didn’t share that name with you, since they’re all about the sharing?
Glad you’re getting your own room, angry they’re not changing the policy.
Years ago I sent a wedding invitation to my great aunt in her nursing home, knowing she would not be able to attend but thinking she would enjoy seeing it. When she died, months later, in her personal effects was the mailed wedding invitation. UNOPENED. What the heck.
Sharing your name was completely unprofessional and out of line!
I had written an email to the orthodontists pointing out that one of their dental assistants had been wearing a face shield and no mask after our last visit. I got an email back saying that they would speak with the dental assistant in question and that she was an otherwise very conscientious employee who just had a quick lapse.
We went for a follow up on Friday and that same dental assistant (who is normally super friendly and warm) was icy cold and refused to look me in the eye. Looks like I was given up, too.
“ I guess if the only thing on offer is “Squeaky Wheel Gets Her Own Room Because She Is Weird and Paranoid,” I’ll take it; but that wasn’t what I wanted. What I wanted was for ALL patients to get their own rooms.” You forgot “borderline neurotic.” I am just joking. I am glad you will get your separate room. Shame that not only they did not change policy but tried to shame you.
I have been going to the same internist since I was much younger and we have aged together. I can say that I feel a lot of affection for him; however, at my last appointment (first since the pandemic) I had to share close space with two other patients. I left without seeing the doctor AND have since found a new one. Now, these people are borderline paranoid about co-vid and that is just the way I like it. If I get the birus it’s almost a death sentence. I don’t take risks and won’t let anyone put me in a position where I am forced to take them. Plus I think if they are not strict about this unknown killer, they will be sloppy with other things too. (in NYC!! Did they forget the nightmare we went through already?)
Virus! (I hate typos!)
They absolutely should not have shared your name. Shame on them. However, you wrote an honest letter that you (rightfully) stand by. You weren’t name calling or demanding that anyone be fired You were advocating for your child and yourself, and if they are upset that’s on them. As a young lawyer, I was trained “never write anything you wouldn’t be willing to see on the front page of the newspaper.” I may *prefer* not to have my thoughts shared publicly, but I always share them in a way that if I had to stand by them I wouldn’t be embarrassed to do so. It sounds like you followed that rule and so I would just remind myself that, as unpleasant as conflict is, you did what you needed to do.
Oh man! I’m sorry that your aunt didn’t get your recent letter. And I’m sorry for your loss. Long, long ago (like, elementary school) I would write letters back and forth with my grandmother. She was a teacher and would correct my spelling and grammar and send my letters back to me. For some reason I enjoyed that???
Very glad that the hospital staff read your letter and are making accommodations for you (although it is SO IRRITATING that they are claiming their room sharing strategy is okay in general?????), but SO INFURIATED that they shared it around with your name on it! WHYYYYYY?????
In my daughter’s first year of JK I got a really bad vibe early on from her teacher and emailed the principal asking for my daughter to be moved to another class. The principal’s response was to forward it to the teacher and ask her to call me so we could “talk it through” together. Not only was that incredibly awkward, I couldn’t pinpoint exactly why I felt there was a problem and my daughter was not moved and it predisposed her teacher against her for the rest of the year and guess which year was the only year my kid got bullied at school… My instincts about that teacher were right on.