This post has a fair amount of medical stuff in it, if you’d rather not.
At the very end of last week, Edward developed an infection that, after Urgent Care evaluated it and sent us on to the Emergency Room for a CAT scan, turned out to be an abscess that needed draining. It was a brutal process. He was shouting and crying while pitifully apologizing for doing so. There was a scalpel, there was rinsing out, and then there was putting gauze into the wound, leaving a little tail of it out to keep the incision from healing in case there was more draining. He was given IV antibiotics, and a prescription for a week of oral antibiotics.
So already that would have been a tiring day, emotionally and physically. But doing it during a pandemic, going to two separate medical facilities, breathing and talking through masks, being close to health care workers, breathing that air for hours, worrying that handling this medical situation would result in a more dire medical situation—even more stressful.
And then he had to go BACK to Urgent Care a few days later, to have the wound checked. The hope was that at that point the gauze could be removed and a bandage could be put on and it could be over—but it was not quite done, so the gauze was taken out of the open wound, and fresh gauze was put in, and there was more crying.
And we have to go back to Urgent Care AGAIN, today or tomorrow, and they might finally take out the gauze and let the wound heal, or we might do another cycle of gauze/check, or the doctor might find the abscess was not fully removed and there will have to be another incision and more rinsing and more gauze. Back to the medical center again and again and again; contact with health care workers again and again and again. During a pandemic.
He hasn’t been able to shower since Saturday; he’s always in a certain amount of pain from having the wound still open; he’s grossed out by having it still open; he can’t comfortably move around; he feels grim and grubby, and he’s dreading each next step, and it makes it worse not to know how many more steps there are. He’s lost several pounds, and he can’t afford to lose any. I’m fretful and exhausted, and worrying about the next steps too, and worrying that one or both of us will be exposed to Covid-19 during all of this. I’m also worried because he was due to get his Remicade infusion this week, but it’s had to be postponed to next week.
Meanwhile, one of our cats, the one with big paws, has gone from his usual weight of 11-12 pounds (he’s a large-framed cat) to 7 pounds 12 ounces at his appointment this week; we called for the appointment two weeks earlier when he was down to 9 pounds, but they have limited staffing because of the pandemic, and this week was the earliest they could see him.
They did blood work, urine tests, and x-rays. They found a bunch of things, but nothing yet that explains the weight loss. He’ll have an ultrasound tomorrow to see what the deal is with his mismatched kidneys. It would be pretty good news to find that they’re differently-sized because one of them has shut down. (The bad news would be to find out one of them is bigger because of a tumor.) But his bloodwork isn’t showing the serious news the vet said she’d expect to see. (I’m worried this means it’s more likely to be cancer.)
The three times I’ve had a cat with a major medical issue, each time the cat was 16 years old when we heard the diagnosis, and 16 years is a pretty nice full life for a cat, and so each time I’ve had them put down rather than pursuing expensive treatment. But this cat is only 9 years old, and the dear favorite of Elizabeth, who calls him her son. And you know how when you get a larger tax refund than you were expecting, you try to guess whether your car will need an expensive repair or whether a major appliance will go? This time our cat broke.
Again: so much more exhausting to handle during a pandemic. There are the different procedures at the vet’s office (calling from the parking lot, speaking to a vet tech over the phone, then leaving the cat carrier in the breezeway), and it means talking to the vet over the phone rather than in her reassuring presence. (I’m GLAD they’re doing this, but it still makes it more stressful.) And they may want to show me how to give the cat subcutaneous fluids, which I am very willing to learn how to do, but it’s stressful to need to go inside and have someone show me (though easier knowing they’ve been keeping people out of the building as much as possible).
Today I went to the grocery store, and I made two trips into the store because I wanted to get in there before the Fourth of July weekend and then not have to go for awhile. Considering all the posts I saw about Memorial Day get-togethers and Father’s Day get-togethers, I think it’s likely there will be a ton of Fourth of July get-togethers, and I don’t want to have to shop at all in the days between the time people are exposed and the time they start to show symptoms.
But we still have to go to Edward’s Remicade appointment and MRI appointment next week. My hope is that we will be done with those appointments before all the people start arriving at those medical centers from Fourth of July exposures—and that none of the doctors and nurses and technicians we see are people who went to a Fourth of July get-together.
I’m sorry. About everything. It’s A Lot. Here’s hoping next week brings brighter/healthier days.
As a total aside, sub-q fluids in a cat is totally doable, even under these strange circumstances. My vet showed me but mostly I learned from a website I am happy to share if it comes to that.
Big hugs to you.
Im so sorry for all this stress! Poor Edward and kitty and you. Do they still do the Remicade if he has an infection? This is obviously a different situation but my mom can’t get her remicade if she has a cold or any illness. But she’s much much older so it’s probably different.
He can get it if he has a cold, but not if he has fever or infection—although they seem to consider each one separately, because of how it’s also not great to delay his Remicade. In this case, they’re postponing a week.
This is all too much on top of everything else that is too much.
I wish I had some helpful advice or really anything helpful to say but I’m not a vet or a doctor so all I can say is I’m so sorry, Either of these things would be stressful under normal circumstances, but now they are off the charts. I’m crossing my fingers that both of them resolve soon and with less stress than has been incurred so far.
Oh Swistle. Oh EDWARD. And the CAT. Geez. This is all so much. I’m sorry.
My goodness, that all sounds very stressful. I hope your son is feeling better soon, and that you will have a long break from medical appointments after the upcoming ones. Sending your family good thoughts and vibes.
Oh boy. I’m so sorry for Edward and for you and for your kitty and for all of us that are experiencing increased stress and anxiety because some Americans are selfish and stupid. I hope you got some yummy foods for the long weekend at home. Feel better, Edward.
I came to say the same thing as Shelly! I did subq fluids for Bella for a few months at the end of her life. I was too stressed and rattled to remember much from the in-person demo anyway, so like Shelly I used youtube to re-teach me how to prep the line, reconnect the… parts? i forget all the terms now, but like how to break a new bag or whatever. And I imagine different cats handle it quite differently (I suspect my current remaining cat would NOT be a good candidate for subq treatments, for example) but Bella honestly didn’t seem to mind. She didn’t love being burritoed and held down for the duration, but never even flinched when we put the needle in so I truly don’t think the actual injection bothered her.
I am so sorry you’ve had so many stressful elements right now though :( I really really really hope Edward is nearing the end of this. Back when I had OHSS during IVF w/Juliette, I remember so vividly the despair of just not knowing when it would GET BETTER. OHSS was horrible and the treatments were horrible but the not knowing how many more treatments there were before it went away was just so… demoralizing. I feel for him. Big hugs for everyone <3 <3
Goodness. That’s all too much.
Oh Swistle, I’m so sorry! I haven’t even read the whole post and had I not quickly scanned the comments wouldn’t know to note that I too know from experience sub-Q fluids for a cat really is an easy thing to administer, FWIW.
But! I’m so very sorry to hear about Edward’s experience. In my early 30s I got appendicitis and post-appendectomy developed a huge and large abscess because of the surgery — fortunately outside my abdominal cavity but between it and the skin (and really: huge. Also, gross). And yes, it was painful and unpleasant. I regret to say that remember mine taking a long time to heal and yes, having to do that whole inside-out thing (inside having to heal first, outside having to be kept open) and gauze, and everything. Yikes. I hope his will heal as quickly as such things can.
Sending you a virtual “crappy-day-present” of good wishes for Edward and your kitty and you. I wish I could send you a real one! Take care.
It’s so hard to have any extra stress right now, especially if you’re someone like me who would be dizzy from just one of those situations you’re experiencing. Please order yourself (and E&E) some crappy day care packages from Tarjay from me to you.
Your posts encouraged me to order online from them by the way and it was truly life changing. No joke. I’ve been able to get the groceries the store was out of that my family needed plus I’ve found new hand soap, face masks and beauty boxes. So thank you!
My husband has had a pilonidal cyst situation twice over the years and I got the job of repacking it at home every day. It was tough but it might be an option for you too. Thinking of my kid going through that is a whole nother deal, however my hubs felt very similar to how E is feeling. It was icky for a while, but now we both have cool/gross stories to tell.
I am so, so sorry. I, too, would be worried and stressed and fretful. I have been through a lot in my life but seeing your child in tremendous pain and being unable to stop it is one of the absolute worst things.
Over Memorial Day weekend we thought we were going to have to put my daughter’s 16-yr-old cat down, but before we could get to the vet the cat died in my arms. And now my husband, just before the 4th of July, has been diagnosed with shingles (the result of a tremendous amount of recent work stress I am sure). I don’t know what’s in store for Labor Day but I already DON’T LIKE IT.
SIde note: if you are pushing 50 and haven’t yet gotten your shingles vaccine, I would HIGHLY recommend it. I would not wish this pain on my worst enemy.
Oh, I’m so sorry. That is a LOT all at once. I don’t know if it helps you at all, but as I’ve gone to a few medically necessary doctor appointments recently, I’ve been telling myself that the risk of doctor visits isn’t nearly as bad as one might think. They are professionals who presumably are taking this seriously and doing the best job they can to minimize exposures and cross-contaminations and such. I have more faith in their standards than the grocery stores, where there are many more customers coming through and a poor 16 year old with a squirt bottle sanitizing the carts (I do think they are doing the best they can! It’s just that the best they can do isn’t medical-grade).
Also, add my name to those who have given their cats subQ fluids (and also kitty inhalers. Those are fun!). Other than the very first time doing it at home, where I was hesitant and jabby (and felt so, so terrible about it), it was really not a big deal at all. Like everyone else, I’m happy to share tips if you end up going that route.
Oh gosh. I am so, so sorry that all this sucks, and it sucks so much. Are sponge baths an option? Having at least a large section of me feel less grimy makes me feel better in general (also: after a sponge bath, clean pyjamas and sheets are magic), although sometimes one is just plain too tired to wrestle oneself through a sponge bath and it is what it is.
I hope things get better very, very soon.
I’m so sorry Swistle. You don’t need all the extra beyond what the dumpster fire that is 2020 has brought.
This is stressful and terrible. I hope for quick healing for everyone involved, and a prescription-level dose of See’s candies for you.
I’m sorry, Swistle. Give Edward an extra chocolate from all of us. Then give yourself permission to finish the box.
Sending love and hugs to you all. XOXOXOXO
Really sorry to hear this. It’s always torture to see your child in pain but with all the rest of it, the stress must be horrendous. Hoping Edward recovers speedily. The description of him apologising was heartbreaking, poor kid.
(FWIW my vulnerable immuno-suppressed mother had two separate week stays in hospital during the peak of the pandemic, and I thought I’d never see her again, (being a proper committed catastrophist) but out she did come.)
Ugh. Sorry you are going through all this. The pandemic is making normally stressful and frightening situations ridiculously stressful and frightening. Hope Edward gets better soon and that the cat issue turns out to be something fixable.
Any one of those things – even without the pandemic – would be Too Much, and so I feel for you. That is really so much to go through, and my heart broke a little at the thought of Edward crying and apologizing for crying. Watching from up here, I am aghast at what is happening with Covid in the US. I cannot even believe it. I suppose I should not be surprised that things like “physical distancing” and “wearing a mask” are so politicized, but I am. It’s so alarming and terrible and I can’t imagine how stressful it is, particularly with an immune-compromised young person in the house. Big giant physical distanced hugs from me to you. xo
Oh my COW, I’m so sorry and I hope everything works out.
This is A Lot and I’m sorry. As an RN who has been working since about 3 weeks into everything, maybe it will comfort you to know I feel MUCH safer at work or medical places (the dentist, for example, has been doing a bang up job) than the grocery store or restaurants or Target or what have you. At medical places, there is 100% mask compliance and staff are screened daily, 2-4 hours before their shift starts, and if they have symptoms they can be tested almost immediately. When I go grocery shopping, mask usage is spotty and who knows when things are cleaned and does the cashier ever change their gloves? So if I had to go out, going to medical appts (preferably without the abscesses and packing and crying – I’m sorry, that sucks) and vet visits is close to ideal in terms of a lower Covid risk, but not in terms of a lower stress risk, of course.
Oh, Swistle, I’m so sorry. Wishing you good sleep, and calm reassuring thoughts, and excellent coping strategies that actually help (for you and the kids as well), and strength to get through each boring, frightening, worrying hour of this. xo
This is so much very stressful and awful medical stuff. My children in pain or afraid just absolutely DOES ME IN. I am so sorry and hoping for all the least terrible outcomes from now on.
Wow, that is too much for a person/ family to handle right now. I hope you are pouring yourself a glass of something every night. I know I would, maybe daytime too. I hope everything goes back to (at least the new) normal) for you and your family soon.
Is is possible at all to get home care visits for wound care? My daughter had an abcessed incision after an illeostomy (horrible, horrible time. I have such anxiety over that period of time). She was able to get home care visiting nurses come to her house to dress the wound, and it avoided going to crowded places when we were all afraid of more issues (and that was pre-covid). It was a fight – lots of angry phone calls. We were looking into private nursing and just paying it when the public (Canadian) system finally came through.
My stepfather also had a wound that was very slow to heal after an ileostomy and someone came to his house to do wound care (paid for by the Canadian health care system). We didn’t have to fight for it though, as his case was very complicated (IV nutrition administered every night, some rehab required after 3 months in hospital) and there had to initially be a high level of home care provided to support his transition home.
Sending well wishes to Edward. What a shitty for a kid to have to deal with. I hope you live in a not so bad covid state because things are looking bleak where I am and people really don’t seem to care anymore.
Oh Swistle, sending much love and hugs. Right now is stressful enough – to throw all that on top of it? I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could do/or say to alleviate your stress and anxiety.
I was coming to say the same as everyone else that subq fluids in a cat is not a hard thing to learn. I had to do my boyfriend’s family’s cat while they were away a few years ago, and it was a cinch. The hardest part was corralling the cat and holding her down.
I hope things look substantially up soon.
Goodness, I’m so sorry. That is a lot to deal with during a time that is, in itself, already a lot to deal with. Sending Edward & the kitty all my best.
Oh your poor son! Sending hugs and healing And weight gaining thoughts for him.
Hugs to you during all this stress.
And to Edward, poor kid. How awful.
And to say we are going through the Exact Same Thing with our cat, who is only 6.5 years old. Sub-cutaneous fluids are not difficult and most cats take it like champs. I hold and stroke her and my husband administers. She actually purrs through it and she perks up and clearly feels so much better after (we do it every two days).
Good luck with everything.
What an incredibly crappy week. I’m so sorry to hear about these problems. Big hugs.
Ugh, any one of those things would suck, and it’s just the WORST when they all pile on at the same time. I’m really feeling for you and for Edward!
In the last 3.5 months since the pandemic hit I’ve had 3 out of 4 parents/stepparents have calamities: 2 had new cancerous tumour diagnoses and one was in a mid-air airplane collision. But, amazingly, the tumours have now all been treated and my dad walked away from his plane crash (he landed in the water and his plane flipped upside down and he got himself out and was hauled into a boat that had happened to be nearby), so we are breathing sighs of relief and enjoying a respite from Disasters at the moment. All this is to say that things got Very Bad all at the same time, but then we got through it and out the other side, and I’m hoping that the same will happen for your Very Bad stuff.
Ugh, that sounds incredibly stressful. Sending you all the good vibes for best-case scenarios in every case.
Oh, Swistle. I’m so sorry that things are so crummy right now. I wish you had an anonymous P.O. Box that we could flood with care packages.
Side note, I woke up with insomnia anxiety at 4 am, and searched your site for the Swistle Family Nightmare Cure. It works on anxiety as well as nightmares! And then I read around in your archives for a bit, which was a very soothing 4 am activity.
Sending lots of good vibes for a quick-healing abscess and a fixable kitty.
This is A Lot to deal with even at the best of times. Thinking of you, Swistle.
Oh Swistle, I am so sorry. What a hard week. I hope things get easier for Poor Edward.
That’s a lot all at once. I’m sorry. Poor Edward (and Elizabeth and the cat and you).
We had to have our 17-year-old cat euthanized yesterday for severe medical problems that seemed to come out of nowhere, literally overnight. He seemed fine one day and the next day the vet was telling us there was no hope. I hope things work out better for your young kitty.
Oh, I’m so sorry. That’s so hard, especially with no time to get used to the idea beforehand.