Black Lives Matter

I took down my post from earlier, which, if you missed it, was basically a “Ha ha, look at us aging!” post. I’d had it in drafts for awhile and it was due to be posted today; I wasn’t sure if I should post it or not, considering that right now there’s not only a pandemic but also nationwide protests against police brutality and racism—and, since the police are in charge of regulating these constitutionally-protected protests against themselves, the nation is getting a really good demonstration of the level of violence the police feel comfortable and protected and authorized to use against their own fellow citizens, the ones they are supposed to be serving and protecting, and also against the journalists there to report on it. And our president says if we don’t stop protesting, he will turn the military on us: he will take the armed forces we use to fight our enemies and attackers, and he will turn them on our own citizens. Things are not going well here.

But I’ve been seeing a lot of posts about how white people’s input and questions and shock and emotions are NOT HELPFUL right now, and that perhaps we would like to shut up unless we are doing something useful and not just ranting and railing, so I didn’t want to rant and rail and potentially add to that not-helpfulness. And so I posted the other thing. Then it seemed like definitely the wrong thing to have done, so I took it down. I don’t know exactly what is needed from me right now, but it’s not a lightweight post about getting older.

29 thoughts on “Black Lives Matter

  1. Lorraine

    I felt the same way. I posted a black square with the words Listening and ready to learn in the middle, but then read so many different accounts about how white people doing that isn’t helping. I want to be an ally, but I also don’t want to make things worse. So, I decided to just continue to help the people around me in the ways I can. Maybe it’s the butterfly effect and eventually, my attempt at helping will ripple out to those who need it most right now. I took my black square down and will get out of the way of those trying to do good, while committing to getting in the way of those who want to tear people down.

    Reply
    1. Mary

      In my opinion, that seems helpful and supportive. In this manner, you are making it clear that you are an ally, understand and might be willing to actually help. I think some of the other long-winded explanations are what people are referring to (or at least the ones I can get tired of reading).

      Reply
  2. Mary

    Thank you for this post. As always, I love your perspective and viewpoint. You really are an impressive individual.

    As a white woman, I can only speak of my experience and from my perspective, I appreciate and value that you posted this. I will be interested to see how others who are more personally affected by the institutionalized racism in the U.S. feel about your post.

    Reply
  3. Emily

    Samesies. So even though we are still social distancing, I baked a pie to share with our black neighbors. But it’s so NOTHING. And I plan on voting hard in November. But that’s so LONG from now. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Reply
  4. Beth

    I did the black square on social media… I hope it didn’t come off wrong. I dropped water off at a local protest, but feel like a jerk for not staying. I am a caregiver for someone with multiple health issues do I am afraid of taking a COVID risk because of her, but my conscience tells me to go to the protest too. I am sharing this on this particular space because it seems to go with the discussion. I do not want to bother others.

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  5. Laura W.

    I appreciate your conflicted feelings as I have them too. I have posted a few things in support of the protesters and the uprising on Facebook but hesitate to say more because I don’t want to center the conversation around me, a white woman living in Minneapolis. The focus needs to remain on George Floyd, his murder by Derek Chauvin, Tou Thao, Thomas Lane, and J Alexander Kueng, and the systemic and institutionalized racism in the Minneapolis Police Department and our society that allowed it to happen.

    Reply
  6. sooboo

    I find your writing very soothing no matter what you write about and being able to soothe stressed out strangers is no small thing these days.

    Reply
  7. phancymama

    I don’t know what to do very much either. I am trying to amplify black voices because they are the ones that need to be heard. I’m also trying to buy from black owned businesses and buying books from black authors. And I’m donating. I can’t donate a lot but I’m hoping that many $5 donations at least let groups and people know they have my support.

    This is the time in my life where I wish I’d done something 20 years ago so that I could make a better impact now.

    Reply
    1. BeckyinDuluth

      This is a great way to show up: donate to local nail funds and to Black-led organizations (lots of folks have put out lists), buy from and promote Black owned businesses, share content (articles, art, whatever) from Black creators.

      Also, as white folks we should be figuring out our own internal stuff. The book White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo (white woman) or Me and White Supremacy by Layla F. Saad (Black woman) are both great options. I know Swistle has lots of readers as followers: start a book club with a few friends!

      Finally, look into your local SURJ (Showing Up for Racial Justice) chapter, or start following SURJ National. SURJ is white folks organizing around racial equity, but in partnership with and support of communities of color (that’s a rough explanation; the website is better). Not all regional chapters have great relationships with the local communities of color (it’s something to ask about), but for those that do, it’s a great place to plug in to help work through your own stuff around whiteness, and organize to support and resource BIPOC led organizations.

      Disclaimer: I’m part of SURJ Northland, in northern Minnesota.

      Reply
  8. Jenny

    Sometimes we feel powerless because we are powerless. We want to fix the system but we can’t. And we know that people of color have seen this far longer than we have, so in addition to being powerless, it’s like we just rode up and looked around and went, “My GOD, Margaret, look at all the RACISM!” But every anti-racist thing we do can help. Every conversation, every pie, every committee, every donation, every vote. We’ve seen how little shitty things add up and get normal and become big; it goes the other way too. Keep working within the powerlessness for the right thing. We’re not alone.

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  9. Sarah!

    I just thought you might like to know that even though you deleted the post about getting older, it still showed up in my feedly feed. Nothing to do about it, as far as I can tell, since the reader pulls data every (period of time), but I would want to know that. So.

    I feel similar. I almost went to a protest in my city today, but I chickened out because of my Covid worries. Someone on reddit suggested making a sign with a QR code to link to the state voter registration site, which I like. I might do that if there is another chance to go to an event that doesn’t seem like it’s going to get too crazy.

    Part of the reason the “black squares” were being discouraged was the use of the same hashtags that organizers use- important stuff was getting buried. So choosing your hashtags carefully can keep it closer to the “helping not hurting” side of showing support.

    Reply
  10. Lisa Ann

    Peaceful rally scheduled for my neighborhood today. While I most certainly would like to support my neighbors/fellow humans I have autoimmune issues and the thought of being that close to anyone is too frightening to comprehend. I did want to do something so I donated to a NYC-based bail fund instead. Still feeling rather helpless (and hopeless) but that feeling is not going to go away til the Orange One is gone.

    Reply
  11. JudithNYC

    I think you always hit the right note, Swistle.
    I am a person of color but because I am pale enough that can pass as white, many times feel like an impostor. (I don’t have to worry about being racially profiled walking down the street, for example, nor worry about my sons being labeled as possible criminals on sight.)
    At this times I mostly do two things: let others speak and try to educate myself more. As human beings we are never done learning and with race and history even more so becsuse do many things have been purposely hidden.
    I found this article to be very helpful.
    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.vox.com/platform/amp/2020/6/2/21278123/being-an-ally-racism-george-floyd-protests-white-people
    This other one I have not truly read and thought about but it’s worth a read:
    https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.graziadaily.co.uk/life/in-the-news/anti-racism-resources-ally-social-media/

    Reply
  12. BKB

    I’m white, and I’m not talking about stuff on Facebook or elsewhere because I, too, don’t want to make this conversation about me. But I am not sure that it’s the right decision. I get that it’s not helpful to POC to hear about white people’s emotions. But I think it may be helpful for some of the white people in my circle of acquaintances, particularly the young white people whose parents are racist (like some of my cousins and some of my cousins’ children) to be exposed to anti-racist viewpoints from people they know. They’re not necessarily going to get that from POC because they don’t know any. It’s so hard to know what to do.

    Reply
      1. Carrie

        I have also felt very overwhelmed by what to do but find myself employing your “Drop in the Bucket” analogy to help remind me that every little action can help. I hadn’t posted on social media in 6 months prior to this and kept second guessing myself trying to think of the perfect thing to post. And is it too late to post? Do I look like I’m just jumping on the bandwagon? But then Monday night after Trump’s speech I was so enraged I felt like I HAD to make sure there were no questions about where I stood so I simply posted Black Lives Matter and also made that my profile pic.

        Since then I have been trying to post something once a day to amplify a POC or share information I have personally found helpful. At first I felt stupid posting those articles because I assumed if someone as basic as me had read them that meant everyone else had too, but I was wrong. One of my friends who is very active in BLM reposted something of mine because she hadn’t seen it and thought it was good information. I realize that this makes me sound so lame that a repost made me happy, but it just made me realize that it’s okay for me to share information.

        I’m also reading and donating money and voting and talking to friends and family although none of it feels like enough. The drops feel very very tiny but it all adds up.

        Reply
  13. pecanLoaf

    Dearest Swistle,

    Your thoughtfulness, kindness, empathy, and intelligence have been / are always appreciated. 🖤

    Reply
  14. Alexicographer

    I missed your earlier post but am glad both that you took that one down and that you posted. Count me among those not sure how to respond, but trying to be supportive. I don’t (unlike you) have a social media presence that I use to communicate to people I don’t know personally, so don’t have to navigate that part of this (except as a blog commenter).

    I’m using resistbot to contact my Senators (Republicans) saying things like that I object to the use of tear gas against people exercising their first amendments rights (thinking here specifically of the President, though of course many are doing this), and sending multiple, albeit small, donations. I’m not protesting (yet) and have concerns about both coronavirus and other threats (police) as well as commitments (like a full time job I do not want to lose) that make some kinds of activism difficult, at least some of the time.

    While I’m horrified at what has happened (recently and of course also, before, and before, and before), I’m thrilled (can I say that? I mean, I hate that it is necessary to protest, but it is) to see so many protests and protestors in so many places and cautiously hopeful that maybe this time real change is possible. Maybe.

    (Also, I know your blog is generally apolitical or at least, non-partisan-ish, and I am definitely not saying I think all Democrats are wonderful or not racist; I don’t. But I, personally, do blame a lot of the worst of what is going on right now — not the killings per se but the response to the reactions to the killings — on our President and his party. I hope it is OK to say that here. I am of course speaking for myself, not others present, including @Swistle)

    Reply
  15. Alice

    I ended up making a donation after a lot of thought about what I can do within my own circumstances. And I made sure to donate to the non-deductible side, after doing the research and finding out that tax deductible organizations aren’t allowed to do things politically.

    I have not spoken on Facebook, which is my only social media. I haven’t changed my photo to black. I’m on the fence about saying anything there about the donation. I don’t think that the people who are fearful of doing the wrong thing are wrong to be concerned– I am, myself. In part because I don’t think there’s a single thing that any person can do that will meet with universal approval. Speak/don’t speak. Donate/donations are a cop out. How dare you have an opinion/allies are wanted.

    I decided that a donation was at least a path for me.

    Reply
  16. JudithNYC

    I don’t want to be pushy but I came across this article today and thought some of us would be interested. I am trying to learn how to be effectively anti-racist.
    “There are resources out there to educate yourself…so we’ve collected just a few here for your convenience. First up, here’s an entire, month-long lesson plan put together by Bryanna Wallace & Autumn Gupta.”

    https://www.themarysue.com/racism-education-materials/?utm_source=mostpopular

    Reply
  17. B

    I think things that don’t help on social media include the following statements:

    “I am heart broken.”
    “ I am shocked.”
    “I don’t know what to say.”

    Things like that can come off as undermining to the struggle black people have felt for decades in the country. I personally have been posting about this constantly since it happened, but I am sticking to posting/reposting about:

    Donations funds
    Petitions
    Protest updates
    Any educational post that explains white privilege, institutional racism, etc.

    And I am staying away from posting about anything that involves MY feelings because it is not about me. Empathizing can actually be quite harmful in this situation. As it was explained to me, black people don’t have the time or energy to wade through white people’s *feelings.*

    Maybe this is something that can help guide some of you that have been conflicted about what to post. Ultimately, I think it’s important to voice solidarity without making it about your specific feelings.

    Reply
    1. BKB

      Empathy can be harmful, I agree. But I have been trying to think through what my goals would be in becoming more active on facebook on this topic (I’m not very active on facebook to begin with, so it would be a change)–and I think my goal would have to be to influence the people that I already have a relationship with who are in the all lives matter camp, particularly relatives. I am pretty confident that posting links and sharing general educational info is not going to work on my relatives, because they automatically dismiss anything that’s from the mainstream media, a left-leaning source, a moderate source, or basically anything that’s not Alex Jones or Breitbart. And I am concerned that a barrage of these posts will make them more entrenched in their views that every other news source is somehow a huge conspiracy with the aim of victimizing conservative white people. (I have some thoughts about that, but I won’t share them here because I’m trying to keep it PG). I think that posting anecdotes that I’m personally familiar with might make a breakthrough (because if I have personal knowledge of it, it’s not coming from the MSM), but if the people whose story it actually is aren’t sharing it, then I won’t be sharing it. Anyway, I’ve been feeling kind of stuck.

      Reply
  18. Shawna

    I am not posting a whole lot on FB about the BLM movement, though I appreciate that Canada has its own sins in this regard and am glad that Trudeau acknowledged that racialized Canadians have to put up with racist experiences and institutionalized racism on a daily basis.

    But, where I’m posting about things going on in the broader world, I’m still keeping more focused on the pandemic, which seems to have dropped dangerously off the radar of too many people as restrictions get loosened, even in places they definitely shouldn’t be. As someone with a biology and health background this is where I feel my opinion has more weight, and I have a more valid chance to influence people who know me.

    Reply

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