The children and I were talking about allowances. Their contention as usual was that everyone gets more allowance than they do. I was explaining to them that different families handle money in different ways. For example, maybe their friends get twice as much allowance, but their friends are expected to buy more of their own stuff, or have to buy their own hot lunch at school if they want it. Or maybe their friends get less allowance, but their parents will buy them the shirt they like or give them a quarter for the gumball machine. And different families have different amounts of flexible income, and different ideas about how much flexible income a child should have. It can be really hard to compare.
Also, big-allowance stories get over-represented in the child’s mind. It reminds me of Tooth Fairy stories, where “everyone” gets $20 per tooth—and then it turns out it’s one kid, and that his family does $20 for the FIRST tooth and not for ALL teeth, and a quick Facebook survey shows that pretty much every other family does $1/tooth like we do, or maybe $2 or $5 for the first tooth and then $1/tooth after that, and ALL the parents thought they were being cheap compared to other parents because ALL the kids are talking about the $20/tooth kid. (This is a benefit of having plenty of parent friends.)
The kids thought it would be a good idea to do an allowance survey on the blog. But I can’t just do a poll for it—not only because of all the different ages involved, but because there are too many variables. One family might think $10/week is the right allowance for an 8-year-old, but they have her pay for her own ear-piercing, and for the presents she brings to birthday parties. How does that compare to the family that gives their 8-year-old $1/week but the dollar is pretty much exclusively for candy because everything else is paid for by the parents? Or maybe one teenager gets no allowance because she has a part-time job, and another teenager gets $15/week because she’s in half a dozen extracurriculars and her parents would prefer she concentrate on those right now?
So multiple-choice won’t work; it’ll have to be an essay question. At our house, allowance starts at age 6: one of the birthday gifts that year is a bank with 50 cents in it, and then he or she gets 50 cents a week. (Their allowance isn’t tied to their chores, but if they want more money they can earn it by doing some of MY chores. The hope is that this will firmly plant in their brains the idea that if you want money, you ask for work rather than asking for money.) At each birthday from then on, there’s a raise:
Age 7: $.75/week
Age 8: $1.00/week
Age 9: $1.25/week
Age 10: $1.50/week
Age 11: $2.00/week
Age 12: $2.50/week
Age 13: $3.00/week
Age 14: $3.50/week
That’s as far as we’ve gotten; we’ve been winging it year by year as Rob gets older. Once we tried a system where he got a larger allowance but had to put some in savings and some in charity, but OMG it was such a huge headache/hassle. (The biggest issue: what was the savings…FOR? That is, at what point was he allowed to spend it? Or was he just supposed to save indefinitely?) We did it for two years with him, then gave it up; by then William wanted to try it, so we let him do it for one year and then we all agreed to drop it permanently.
The whole subject came up this time because Rob is now older than Paul and I were when we stopped getting allowances, so we’re feeling like we don’t have much to base our decisions on. When I was 13, I was babysitting; Paul had a paper route. We had a lot more spending power than Rob has, but Rob doesn’t have the same job options we had, and we wondered if instead we should raise his allowance. On the other hand, Rob doesn’t have the same expenses we had, either: I paid for my own haircuts/perms, my own make-up, school lunch if I wanted it, presents for friends’ birthdays, family gifts at Christmas, equipment/food for my goldfish, etc. And it was the days of feathered hair, so hairspray alone was enough to keep a teenager poor.
Rob might not NEED as much money. He uses his allowance to buy snacks at the school snack bar, and school lunch if he wants it more than the once a week we’ll pay for, and candy. He’s just this year started going to school dances, and we split the cost of the ticket with him (it’s $8, and “more than a week’s allowance” seems to me like the right amount for him to pay, while “more than two weeks’ allowance” seems like too much). He also pays the difference if he wants something that costs more than I’m willing to pay (like when he wanted the Nird shirt), but that comes up very rarely (he still doesn’t care much about what he wears, and doesn’t mind Target clearance stuff). If he wants more money, he can earn it by doing some of my chores (he doesn’t get paid to do his own chores); we also generally pay him when we have him babysit his siblings.
One reason Paul and I have been talking about raising everyone’s allowance is that we’ve had the same system in place since Rob was 6, and maybe 50 cents isn’t quite the same now as it was 8 years ago. The other reason is that we’re noticing that our kids pretty much never save up for anything: they mostly spend all their money the week they get it. We’re wondering if that’s because they don’t get enough money to feel like there’s any point saving it: if it would take over 2 months of not-spending-a-single-penny in order to save $10, does an 8-year-old have that kind of patience? We’re thinking no. On the other hand, we’re already a little uncomfortable with how much candy they can buy with their current allowances; if we raise it and it turns out they STILL blow it all on candy, we won’t like that.
And we also have to keep the family’s income in mind. After Henry and the twins have their birthdays in the next month, we’ll be giving out $8.50/week in allowances—$442.00/year. That’s not a tiny amount, and that’s with three kids at the littlest-money end of the spectrum. It’s worth it if they’re learning valuable lessons about money, but it’s hard to tell if they ARE. And in the meantime, it’s a lot of money being frittered away.
[Edit: Because it’s coming up a lot in the comments, I’ll add that they don’t get money from relatives. This is another bone to pick at our house: “Sophia got TWENTY DOLLARS from her grandmother for EASTER!!” “Jacob’s grandpa gives him a $2 bill EVERY TIME HE COMES OVER!!” “Abby’s aunt gave her TWENTY-FIVE dollars for kindergarten graduation!!” Etc.]
Kids still get allowances? Huh. Didn’t know that. Mine never have, never will. I can’t begin to imagine doing that, but then I never received an allowance when I was a kid. If I wanted money, I worked for it. If my kids want money, they work for it. Well, other than birthdays or Grandma being generous.
FWIW, my kids are 8 & 16, and neither of them have ever even asked for an allowance.
How does your 8-year-old earn money? Do you pay the kids to do chores?
Does money for birthdays or from Grandma come to more or less than $1/week ($52/year)? (I’m trying to compare overall spending power from non-earned money—it doesn’t have to be in allowance form per se.)
Growing up my dad did not give an allowance. If you “needed” something then he would buy it otherwise you were expected to save your own money up and buy things you wanted. A need was always based on his judgment and sometimes it was hard to save up for something really big because it took a long time. With that said I started babysitting when I was 12 and then got an after school job at 15 because I wanted money. I was also expected to save the majority of what I made. I remember having a friend whose parents freely gave her money whenever she wanted it and I just couldn’t understand how that could be. Oh Swis, I have no words of wisdom. My only suggestion is that if you raise the allowance then you put rules on that raise. Some portion if their money should be saved…….life skills. I would love it if you keep us here on the internet posted as to what happens.
DB
Before you were 12, how did you get money for things your dad wouldn’t pay for?
Before 12 I would ask for money for my birthday if there want something I really wanted. Usually my grandparents would send money for my birthday too. Again though I was expected to save some but could have some to spend.
DB
For how long did you have to save it before you were allowed to spend it on something?
Well to my dad the whole point of saving was to build up a chunk of money invade there was something you really wanted. If I got $25 for my birthday say from my grandparents I could go buy something but ultimately the goal was to save. So when I finished high school I had enough to pay for two years of college including books…..but I didn’t go away to school. I was also able to buy my own car at 18, a new car. Let me say it want easy and my dad was strict. At the time I was sure he was the only patent if his type and sometimes I thought it was unfair. Now I am thankful because I am good at budgeting. I do believe though things will be a little different when I have kids.
DB
Oh I can’t wait to read the comments on this post.
No kids yet (but I’m pregnant now, so this will be an issue in a few years). When I was elementary aged, I don’t remember getting a formal allowance. Actually not even in middle school. I just told my parents what I wanted to buy or pay for, they decided if they wanted to spend the money, and either did or did not give me the money. I could be mis-remembering this.
In high school my mom came up with a Grand Plan. I got $85 per month to spend how I chose. This included pretty much all my expenses. I had to pay for all my clothes, haircuts, outings with friends etc. We raised the amount each year. I think when I graduated from high school I got $120 per month. My parents still payed for big ticket items like prom tickets and a prom dress. I played 2 sports year-round so my parents didn’t ask me to get a job.
This might be insane for a family with 5 children though, and your littles are too young I think. But you wouldn’t have to deal with “Mom can I buy _______?”
This is almost EXACTLY how my family did it. I got a monthly amount, and was expected to buy all the “optional” things a teenager needs — haircuts, makeup, unapproved clothing, movies, out to eat with friends, and hot lunches at school. My parents paid for major shopping trips, extracurricular expenses, etc. As I got older, I had to pay for more things, like gas in the car we shared, and my portion of the phone bill after my boyfriend went away to college. I babysat a lot, so my income was supplemented, and my parents wanted me to focus on academics and music/extracurriculars, so I was only allowed to get a “real” job over the summer. I saved my summer wages to pay my portion of my college expenses ($10K) and to pay for my books.
When I was growing up, I got $5 a week allowance and had to buy everything “fun” for myself. So candy, toys, books. Mostly I bought books because I was a huge reader. My parents would buy my clothes, presents for friends, and treats when we got family treats (like if we went out for ice cream, it was on them).
I haven’t decided on allowance yet. Matt is a much bigger…giver? than I am. He buys her a lot of toys. So I don’t see allowance as an issue for a long time in our house because she already gets a lot of stuff bought for her. Right now she doesn’t need an allowance because she can pretty much talk her daddy into buying stuff anyway.
Last year, when he was 6, Sam started wanting stuff (video game accessories, comic books) more often than just Christmas and his birthday, and we decided to start giving him an allowance. He gets it every two weeks (on payday–it’s easier for us) and gets an amount equal to his age–so right now he gets $7 every two weeks. He is great about saving for the stuff he wants, which is nice for me because I don’t WANT to nag him about his own money but I can see how I might be inclined to.
Grace is three and a half and is interested in money (probably mostly because Sam is). I think she is way too young for an allowance but I am not sure how I will handle the decision about when to start. I would prefer to wait until she is six (magic age I guess) but she is so different than her brother that I can imagine I might use different criteria for her.
I don’t remember how old I was when I started getting an allowance, but we had a “chore list” that my mom drew up. Basics such as making the bed, setting the table and feeding the horses, dogs and cats were a given and had to be done for free, while other chores were worth a dime (!) or more. My brother and I always fought over who got the bigger items, like washing the vehicles ($3) or mowing the yard ($5, and it was a HUGE yard). I believe my parents paid for any birthday gifts I needed to buy and other necessary expenses, but anything else I wanted was on my own dime (I even had to buy my own flute when I joined band.) Growing up, I heard a lot of, “Do you NEED it, or do you WANT it?” Ergh.
I never got an allowance – my parents would buy me what I needed most of the time & gave me $100 for new school clothes each year (it bought very little). I would get $10 here or there for birthdays etc.
I started babysitting at 11 or 12 and earned a lot of money doing that. From then on I bought everything basically.
I started working at 15 in a family business (and worked there until I graduated college – paid for everything except my tuition & car insurance – my parents paid those).
My kids are 15 & 12 and each get $20/month. I’ve only been giving them an allowance for about a year. They can spend it on whatever they like. I do buy them some things they ask for – but sometimes when they ask I tell them I will buy it and they can pay me back. They do save up for more expensive items (video games usually) & they really consider their purchases.
I give them $20 because I cannot imagine they will work as teens. Things are different now then when I was a kid & I believe there are fewer jobs for teens, plus – I prefer them to focus on schooling.
My kids are only 4 & 2, so no allowance. I don’t know how we’ll do it. When I was growing up (mostly in the 90’s – I was born in ’84), each kid got $0.25 per year of age every week. It probably started when I was around 10 or so, but everyone got it immediately (my sisters would have been 7 & 8. Such is the plight of the oldest.)
So, at 10, I would get $2.50/week. We had to put 10% in a tithing jar, 50% in savings, and keep 40%. It sounds like piddly amounts of money, but I don’t remember ever really needing to spend any money. We were rarely given the opportunity to blow our money on candy – we lived way out in the country near no stores and didn’t often go grocery shopping with mom. I didn’t really buy my own clothes or anything.
I don’t think I spent money at all until I started babysitting (age 13 or so) and had real money to work with. But I didn’t feel deprived before, nor did my parents buy me a lot of stuff. We went back-to-school clothes shopping once a year and got gifts for birthdays and Christmas. I guess we didn’t know any different?
Babysitting money (and all earned money) was required to be split the same way (10, 50 & 40%). Savings meant “college” or “after you’re out of the house”.
I may have to write a whole post on this, because the money policies Husband and I smugly instituted on the assumption they would teach our children to be fiscally responsible now look so quaint. (Checking accounts when they turned eight? Really? That’s oh, so helpful now.) Anyway, I still stand by the distribution we had them follow for both their allowances and their paper routes: 40% to non-accessible savings for college, 25% for accessible savings to be used for a goal purchase (think the 1990s equivalent of an iPod), 25% for immediate gratification (Sonic, etc.), 10% to tithe. They don’t all still adhere to these categories, but they’re at least aware that all of the categories are important.
I worked at 13 in an ice cream store and have held a job ever since. Before that my mom paid for my things. We were working under the assumption that I would keep my grades up and stay involved in extras and she would provide for my needs and wants until I got a job. It worked well and I plan to do that with my girls. I realize not all children will keep their grades up and participate in outside activities so that they don’t get in trouble so we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. As for chores an being paid to do them that didn’t happen. I lived there so it was expected that I would do chores without compensation.
I find this topic so interesting! I am reaching back in my memory to try to think of what kind of allowance I got, and I am really having trouble coming up with the details. Of course, it was the 80s-90s, so wouldn’t be terribly relevant today, anyhow. I have a vague recollection that in elementary school it was a few dollars a week (I have an inkling that it was like $2/week in second grade, $3/week in third, and so on so it was easy for everyone to remember — but that seems like a lot so it was probably every other week).
We had chores that were in part to earn the allowance and we could also get docked for not making our beds or forgetting to scrub the bathrooms. I didn’t have to buy my own clothes, shoes, haircuts, or those types of things, but I did have to use my own money for makeup, stickers, stationery, etc. I remember saving up to buy certain things, like Sweet Valley High books or stuffed animals, and sometimes I would save and save and then my mom would buy me the item as a surprise for my birthday/Christmas or she’d offer to split the cost with me. This suggests to me now that I’m a parent that it was painful for her to watch me scrimping up couch change and forgoing icees at the corner store for months and months just to buy a monkey puppet.
By high school I think my parents abandoned the allowance and just gave me spending money as I needed it, since teenage expenses were erratic and I made a decent amount of my own money through babysitting and pet-sitting.
I am loving reading through everyone’s experiences! I think I had an allowance briefly as a kid, but it was pretty short lived. Like most of the other 80s/90s kids who have commented so far, I started earning money via babysitting (at what now seems to be a shockingly tender age – I don’t know if I’d leave my hypothetical baby alone with a 12 year old neighbor kid?!). My parents paid for my clothes and my school expenses throughout highschool, and I was responsible for any “extras” that I wanted like cassette tapes (ouch) or books with the money I earned. By the time I was in hs, I had full-time summer jobs and socked away most of that money for a study abroad trip I took as a hs junior, and then for college after that.
I think the Money Savvy Pig is an interesting idea – it’s a piggybank divided into 4 sections – Spend, Save, Invest, and Donate, I think. You have to talk to your kids about how they’ll divvy up their allowance, and then it works best to give the allowance to them in coins so it’s easy to put the right amounts in each section. “Spend” is for spending right now (candy, Pokemon cards, etc.), “Save” is saving for some longer term (but not TOO long term) object (say, a month or two), and it is suggested the kid looks for a picture of what they’re saving for to give them a little extra incentive to keep going until they accrue enough money.
I have read different philosophies about allowances – one that makes sense to me is that everybody in the family should get a little spending money just because they’re part of the family, that some chores should be expected to be done without payment (ditto on the just because the kids are part of the family) and only unusual chores should be considered for extra money. My mother (who is often wise) told me that kids have to have a little money – it helps keep them from turning into petty thieves.
When I was a kid I didn’t get an allowance. If we wanted money to buy something my mom would have us do chores. (she was very cheep 50 cents to scrub the whole bathroom, 10 cents to vacuum the main floor etc. ) And that was to buy things we wanted that where not necessities and that we didn’t get for birthdays/Christmas. My parents did pay for things like haircuts, friends b-day presents (up to $5) and gifts for siblings b-days and Christmas.
Sometimes if I saw something I really wanted at the store and had enough money to pay for some but not all of it by mom would pay the rest and then I was expected to pay her back before I bought anything else. I will also add that we never had set chores, we where expected to help my mom with things when she asked and if we wanted to make some money we would have to ask her what chores we could do to make money.
After about age 12 I was babysitting and was expected to pay for everything myself.
I did grow up being a really good saver and have always been good with credit.
Okay, this got kind of long. I’m sorry!
For context: I’m 23, and money was never a Huge Concern for my family, but it was also made perfectly clear that it was not endless either. I had a mostly work-for-lessons barn job for at least part of every summer from age 12-18, at which point I went off to college. My parents were willing to pay for lessons anyway, so would pay me the money they would have been paying for lessons (essentially, I got paid, just not outright).
I had an allowance for as long as I can remember up through starting college. Mostly, I think my parents wanted me to understand the value of tithing to the church. I’m not at all doing that now, so I don’t think that paid off very well. It was initially pretty small ($0.25, maybe? Less?) and ended up around $5.00/week when I was in high school. I do know we had the potential to earn additional quarters for doing various chores around the house, but I’m not sure how well that actually worked either.
I didn’t buy an awful lot for myself, mostly books or horse-related stuff. I did (and do!) enjoy bargain hunting to get the most out of my money. I think more of that kicked in within the past few years, though, with having an actual horse and Really Expensive Stuff that I’d genuinely like to have for the first time in my life.
I don’t know that I was ever incredibly good about putting parts of my allowance in the bank, but nearly every Christmas and birthday a chunk of the monetary gifts I received would be banked (my parents encouraged it, I didn’t have big enough wants to really want to do anything else with it). At 20, I had enough in the bank to buy a used car for $5k – and enough left over to spend on the unexpected $1500 in repairs a week later. Sigh. I have no idea if that was the end goal for my parents or what, but it worked out pretty well.
No kids yet, but very interested in the post and responses. Swistle, since the main reason you’re considering raising allowance is to facilitate savings, what do you think of a sort of allowance version of 401K matching funds program? Maybe keep allowance the same, but whatever portion they want to save each week, you guys match it? May be easier than percentages and means they can save more faster, but no extra money for candy.
I haven’t made it through all the comments yet but I love this matching funds idea! It never would have occurred to me but should really help kids focus on saving. I may try this with my 10-year-old.
Maybe—but it seems like then we’d have to have guidelines on how long they had to save the money, or they’d have to know in advance what they were saving for, or be saving to some minimum amount or something. Otherwise they’d just put it in savings to get the matching funds, and then they could withdraw it and have double the money for candy.
Our kids get $1/year of life each week. So our 7 1/2 year old gets $7.50 a week. Except he doesn’t get it if he doesn’t complete his chores. It seems like a ton compared to your kids, but he has to buy EVERYTHING. I do not give out quarters for the gumball machine or pitch in for the ice cream man. We went on a family vacation and he about fainted when I offered to buy him a sticker souvenir. He knows we never buy him anything. He keeps his money in a wallet that lives in my purse and we pull it out when he wants something. It works very well for us.
(I also have a 3 year old, but she does not get an allowance yet. We started at age 6 with my son).
I love this topic. I am probably about to write a book, so apologies in advance. My daughter is 2 3/4, and as yet she doesn’t get an allowance. I buy her (too many) clothes as “needed” and tend to get her small toys or books occasionally, usually when she *doesn’t* ask for them – and she isn’t quite at the asking for everything all the time stage, fortunately. However, I imagine I will start her allowance when she hits that point. And I will likely follow my Mom’s method, because it seems to have worked fairly well as a “teaching about money” incentive. Plus there was no begging for stuff.
We got allowance at the beginning of every month, when my dad got paid. We will likely do this for our kids, or at least pay out no more than every two weeks (when my husband gets paid). I think getting one larger amount at the beginning of the month encourages (a) buying a bigger purchase or toy, instead of frittering it away on candy and small junk; and (b) saving, because once it’s gone, it’s gone for the month – if you blow it all at once on something that first day, you’re out of luck until payday.
If I’m remembering correctly, we got half our age in allowance until the magical year my dad got promoted, and then we started making our age every month. I think we will probably do this, but I am concerned that age is not necessarily the best way to ensure they’re getting the right amount for what they want. There’s not necessarily a difference in the price of a toy for a 5 year old and the price of one for a 9 year old, so I’ll have to do a little research to see if there’s a fairer way (e.g., 10 a month until you hit double digits, 15 after that, or something).
Allowance went for any toys, games, or “extra” clothes we wanted, or movies and other outings with friends once we were older. My mom bought us most clothing we needed until we hit 10 or 12 (somewhere around middle school), after which we got a “clothing allowance” as well. I’m not sure she even gave us the actual money – it just marked the point at which she took the $40 a month per child she allotted for clothes and said that’s what we could spend picking out our own. (My mom was very big on passing off responsibilities once kids started complaining – don’t like what I fix for lunch? Time to start making your own. Don’t like the clothes I’m buying you? Here’s what you can spend, pick it out yourself.) If we didn’t want or need anything, that money accumulated until we did (back to school, seasonal changes, etc.). We also got money for special trips – e.g., if we went to Disneyland, or the zoo, she usually gave us each a little spending money for souvenirs, and we could add our allowance to it for something bigger.
Chores were independent of allowance unless we wanted to do some of Mom or Dad’s chores, or extra “spring cleaning” type chores to earn more. We did daily/weekly chores because we were part of the family, and we got allowance because we were part of the family, and I will definitely be doing this for my family.
We weren’t expected to buy presents for birthdays, either for siblings or for friends’ parties. We did have to earn money for Christmas presents, usually by picking up walnuts from our backyard trees that we then sold by the pound to a local buyer. I don’t know how I’ll manage this one, if I’ll have the kids get Christmas presents for us and each other, or what. I don’t want them to have to spend their allowances, but I’m not sure how much the “spirit of giving” was imbued by making us work for the money first, either.
My mom did try to enforce savings – something like 10 percent was supposed to go into our piggy banks every month – but we never got change, and I probably put something in about twice a year. This money was supposed to be used for our first bank account, once we were teenagers or had jobs or whatever. I think I had about $15 when I finally cracked that sucker open. I don’t know that I’ll do this with my kids, only because it really didn’t work for us (and I was typically a rule follower!). I think making us save for bigger purchases was a better lesson.
Finally, I wanted to add that my mom, who was extremely fair-minded, always had a specific budget for things like clothing, birthdays, and Christmas, and made no secret of it – we knew she’d spend $40 for birthday presents, $100 for Christmas. If we wanted the money instead of gifts, we could ask for that, but I think she let us know the amount so that no one felt they hadn’t gotten as much as somebody else, and so we would understand why we got dolls and crayons for birthdays when other kids got their own TVs or trips to Disneyland. The budget was the budget, and as long as it was fair within the family, mostly we weren’t bothered by what other kids did or didn’t get. Also, my parents had their own allowances – my mom seriously budgeted to the decimal point for EVERYTHING, and that mean if she or my dad wanted something that wasn’t groceries or toothpaste, they had to spend their own money like everybody else. I still can’t convince my husband to do the allowance thing for us, but I do think it helped with the fairness aspect to realize that mom and dad weren’t getting whatever they wanted whenever they wanted it, either.
As far as whether this approach “worked” … my mom had 4 kids. Two of us are quite good with money, one is average, one ended up in terrible debt right out of college, and is out of it only because he had the good sense to turn the finances over to his wife. And honestly, my mom probably could have predicted who would be the savers and who the spenders from our habits with our allowance as kids, so I don’t know that her method “taught” us, so much as reinforced our existing inclinations. But I do think it was the best way – it gave us all a sense of what it’s like to have money every month, what happens when we save or spend that money, and how no more money comes once it’s gone until the next payday.
Paul and I get allowances, too! I got that idea from my parents. It helps us a LOT with marital money resentment: instead of eyeing the yet-another-tool he buys, or instead of me feeling like there’s no way I can justify a bottle of French perfume (AND it’s too expensive to ask for as a gift), we can use our own money.
I am racking my brain trying to remember when my brother and I started getting an allowance. I can’t. I want to say maybe 4th grade? And it was not very much, like $1 a week, or something (this would have been in the early-to-mid-’80s). I think we had to ask for it; it wasn’t given automatically. It definitely was not tied to chores, which we were expected to do regardless.
But! I do remember that when we got to late middle/early high school, we were up to $10/week each, and the deal there was that you could either buy yourself lunch at school (for $2/day) or pack your own lunch and save your money (my dad had a bank book so we didn’t have to have large piles of cash sitting around, and so he didn’t have to remember to pay us) for fun stuff. Around the age of 14 I got a couple of regular babysitting gigs and that let me have my cake and eat it too–I could both buy school lunches AND have money for fun stuff.
My parents paid for haircuts, school clothes, etc. I wasn’t a kid who was really into fashion (<–UNDERSTATEMENT) or owning stuff, so I rarely spent my savings. I think I did use my money for special treats like going to the movies or whatever. It was a bit of a pain b/c I had to remember to ask my dad in advance.
Curious to see what others say!
My kids range from 7 to almost 21 and we’ve never given allowance. I didn’t get one either growing up, though my parents tried at one point… it was a disaster with 6 of us (we were horrible). When I started babysitting at age 11 (mother’s helper) my money suddenly had to pay for everything I wanted and needed. EVERYTHING. Jeans? Sweater? My responsibility. I resented that because I wasn’t getting paid much back then and it was never enough. So with my kids, no allowance. But all cash gifts (both grandparents do cash for bdays, holidays, major events, etc.) and all income (babysitting and jobs — even while in college) half goes into a bank account set up at the local bank, for college cash (think pizza and/or books or to keep until after college to pay off student loans). They can’t touch that money until college no matter what. We show them how it builds and then when big enough move it to a mutual fund and continue to explain stocks and bonds and investments with this money. It’s been a great learning tool.
The other half is their money to spend as they wish. They’ve all learned what happens if you spend your money as you make it, and then want something else next week. I let them learn that lesson after instructing them the benefits of saving. It doesn’t take long before they start listening. My daughter has become very good at managing money and saving. She decided to take her spending cash (that other half) and half it again. So 1/4 is cash on hand for whatever, and 1/4 to save for something big that I wouldn’t buy for her myself (I’ll get them enough clothes and other needs, but if it’s a want — such as another sweater or the cutest notebook ever — it’s up to them).
Great post, and the comments really have me thinking. We keep talking about instituting an allowance with the oldest (10) but it hasn’t happened yet. However, the kid seems to always have money thanks to generous grandparents and aunts. Neither of my kids really ask for much of anything (thanks again to the overly generous family) but I’m sure that won’t last forever. We need to have a plan, which I suspect will be primarily chore-based. There are some things that I just expect my kids to do as members of the family, but something tells me they’ll be more motivated to do a good job on other chores if there’s money involved. I’m not above bribery!
We have two 9yos and one 5yo. Allowances in our family start at 5 and so far it is $5/week. Fifty cents is a tithe, $1.50 goes into their savings jar, and $3 goes into their purse.
The tithe is kind of self explanatory.
The savings jar is not always being used to save for something in particular, but to teach that it’s nice to have a bunch of money for when you DO find something you’d like or when you’re going on vacation and would like to buy a souvenir or when you suddenly owe Mom $10 because you lost your really nice Lands End gloves the very first time you wore them. It’s always good to have savings available.
The $3 can be placed in the jar if they’re saving for something in particular, but in general it accumulates in their purses until they use it for random stuff – gum, ice cream day at school, a toy at Target, etc. If they really want something and need to add $5 from their savings jar to buy it, that’s fine.
We chose $5 because it was enough money that it accumulates but not so much it accumulates TOO quickly like when you’re saving for a huge $50 stuffed tiger that I really don’t want you to have. But we wanted to make it enough that it was worth it to save and not feel like you’d have to save for YEARS before you could get a $20 toy and instead get discouraged and give up.
I have been thinking ahead because $15/week definitely adds up and I’m not sure what we’ll do as they get older. In general, it’s been a by-the-seat-of-our-pants decision about what they buy versus what we buy. We pay for school lunch 2 days/week and birthday presents for other kids and clothes. But when Ella and Lorelei wanted a fish tank, they saved for it and pooled their money. When they wanted American Girl dolls, they saved for them. I’ll buy one treat for everyone at school movie night, but if they want another treat, they buy it.
Our allowance is not tied to chores and I understand both sides of the argument, but I want my kids to do their chores because we’re a family and we take care of each other, not because we get money to do it. I give them a set amount of money because, to me, it’s a tool I can use to teach them about handling money. As they get older, they’re learning to earn by being mother’s helpers, watering a neighbors plants/bringing in the mail while they’re on vacation, etc.
Incidentally, my husband has a great idea about issuing my kids a family credit card when they hit the teen years. He’ll give them a $50 spending limit, charge them interest, etc. so they can see how credit cards can pull you down. He wants them to see the math on what they’ll pay for that $30 shirt if they don’t pay off their credit card at the end of the month. He’s geekily excited to actually laminate cards and send them statements.
Such a good idea! It’s so important to teach kids about credit cards. My parents religiously reminded my and my sister that a credit card was just a way to build up a good credit score for the future (and get air miles :P) so “noting goes on your credit card unless you already have the money in the bank.” I’m so glad they did that.
YES! One of the best gifts my mother ever gave me was a credit card from her account with my name on it when I was 16. It gave me an excellent credit score at a very young age.
This is our system:
Ages 5&6: $1/week
7&8: $2
9&10: $3
11&12 $4
That’s how far we’ve gotten as the oldest is 12. They spend it on toys, books, computer games, etc. The older one is more a saver and always has been. The first thing he bought with his allowance, at age 5.5, was a hardback book for which he saved 6 months. Then he saved another six months and bought another book. I can’t imagine my daughter doing that, but she always has some money in her bank. The older one also contributed to the cost of his iPod (he used his Christmas $ for most of it and kicked in saved allowance for the rest). Right now my daughter wants to spend $8 of her own money on virtual money to spend on virtual knick knacks on the Disney fairy website and I’m not sure I want to let her blow a month’s allowance on that, but I’m leaning toward yes. Either she will think it well spent or it will be a lesson in buyer’s remorse, which could be valuable in itself.
Genuine question- why do parents get a say in what their kids spend their allowance on? Isn’t the whole point to let them figure it out on their own?
Ok, so my boys all get an allowance weekly from which they buy any “extras.” My oldest just went to St. Pierre for a school trip and we forked over the $600 for him to go, then he saved for a few months for spending money. My second oldest has a DSi that requires a new charger because he lost his. He is currently saving for that. The younger two basically spend all of their money on toys or treats, but we don’t nag too much. If we’re in a store and they want something, we don’t buy it for them. I’ve seen lots of families who allow toys year round, where we only buy at Christmas and birthdays. If they want something in between, they are expected to save.
Our 12 year old gets $10/week and saves a large portion of it. He does go out with his friends to eat or swim or whatever, which constitutes most of his actual spending. Though he also likes the freedom to buy gifts for family members when special occasions come up.
Our 9 year old gets $7/week which will probably go up to $10 next year. He’s a bigger spender than his brother, but has the ability to save when it’s needed. He likes to have a little in his wallet at all times so that he can buy things when he sees them.
Our 5 and 6 year olds both get $5/week and spend it pretty much as soon as they get it. Usually, we’ll remind them to bring it along if we’re going somewhere they might want to spend it. If I have to go to walmart for example, they might bring it along and find a little something they want. On rare occasions we wont go anywhere for awhile and they’ll end up with $10 or $15 in their wallets. That’s when they get really excited.
Basically, I think it’s a maturity thing. Some kids are also just born spenders or savers. Our oldest used to spend his money quickly on junk food but has since developed more expensive taste in certain things (like the $600 bmx bike he bought last year). If given the freedom, I think they tend to handle themselves well.
Oh, and for reference, they get $10/year of age for their birthdays from Grandma and anywhere between $20-$200 from everyone else. It’s surprising how much spending power they really have.
I’m only 18, so I’m hoping my allowance experience might give a little more of an up-to-date story haha!
From what I remember, I started getting allowance when I was 5, and got $5 every other week. It was based on age, so my older sister got $10 every other week because she was 10. I wasn’t expected to buy much for myself at that point, and probably blew most of it on candy and annoying little plastic toys that I would lose almost immediately (bouncy balls, polly pocket etc.). This seems like a lot of money to spend on stuff like that, and that’s probably why my parents decided to drop the whole allowance thing after a couple years, once my sister was old enough not to need an allowance anymore.
We switched to the “money for chores” plan, and I think the rates ranged from 50 cents for mopping to $5 for washing the car. I was still expected to clean my room, set the table, and do other basic chores without any pay.
By the time I got to high school, my parents had pretty much given up on keeping track of chores and allowances and gave me money for fun stuff like going to the movies, clothes I didn’t need, and books on a case-by-case basis depending on how good my grades were, how much of a snotty teenager I was being, etc. I got my first summer job at 15 and during the summers ever since then I was expected to buy myself everything except groceries and phone bill. I didn’t work during the school year so once I ran out of the money I had saved up from my summer job my parents would revert to the spending money idea. Now I’m in college and am working year-round so I buy myself all the necessities but I have found that my empty-nester mom is much more willing to buy me “fun” stuff now that I’m home for the summer haha!
(this was a lot longer than I intended)
I like garage sales so every week in the summer, I take the kids with me and give them $3 to spend. They can spend it, or (highly encouraged) save it for the next week, when they’ll have $6 to spend. We only do this in the summer. All year we also have a list of chores that my husband and I normally do, and if the kids want to earn some money or ipad time, they can consult the list and do the chore. Laundry, take out the trash, do the dishes, stuff like that. Each chore is worth money OR ipad time.
They also get money from grandparents on occasion. Also: we have a roll of tickets in my closet, and when the kids do a particularly good job at something (in school, or being nice to each other, etc.) we reward them with a ticket that can be exchanged for a dollar at some later point. Usually they’ll save up 20 tickets or so and then cash them in.
Pretty much there’s nothing set in stone over here. It’s all kind of willy nilly. I can’t do the cash thing every week just because neither of us ever has cash on hand. I’d like to keep cash around more often, but SOME people in this house (eyes oblivious husband) spend it like it grows on trees. I like to know where the money goes.
When I started school, I got 5 dollars every two weeks (on payday) for allowance. My dad’s goal was that if I really wanted something I would have to save up for it since $2.50 a week isn’t a lot of money. I don’t know if the amount is still realistic because that was 15 years ago. It sort of worked on me but it definitely worked on my younger sister- she bought herself a video camera and a lot of other expensive items by saving up over the years.
When I got older I babysat for extra cash (highly recommend this if Rob is responsible enough- it’s flexible and good money).* However, my parents and I also had a deal that if I kept an A average they would help me out and pay for clothes, outings, hair cuts etc. that babysitting didn’t cover. I think their reasoning was that they wanted me to focus on school instead of a part time job. If I kept up the high marks I was obviously using my time for something productive (that would ultimately get me into a good university) so they didn’t mind paying for me. This arrangement also allowed me to focus in extra circulars (like competitive sports) where I learned a lot of important life skills.
My parents never paid for chores- those were things that we were supposed to do out of family obligation. But, they would pay for extras like planting a tree, changing the tires on the car, weeding the garden etc.
*Seriously- parents in my neighbourhood were willing to pay over 10 dollars an hour to keep a responsible babysitter free on a Saturday night. It’s a great job.
Me and my two brothers always got allowances, but I don’t remember how much at what ages exactly. Things I do remember are that if we slacked on our regular chores (which I felt at the time was SO MUCH more than everyone else my age!) my parents were within their rights to withhold allowance. Which meant doing them without being told by Thurs at 4 pm each week!
I do remember saving for certain items though. When I was about 6 I got either 25 or 50 cents per week and I remember specifically saving up for a doll I wanted at the mall that cried if you were loud around it.
In middle school I very vividly remember saving for several months at a time for two specific items: a camera (about $30) and a gameboy (about $60). Our parents absolutely refused to buy us any videogames whatsoever. We would also pool our money to buy some games like Zelda or the 4th HP book when it came out. There were above and beyond chores that we could do to earn money though like washing the cars and mowing the lawn (sometimes) and we got some money for a straight A report card but no money (plus punishments) for one or more Bs on the report card (so harsh!).
As soon as we all turned 16 we got jobs though, so allowance wasn’t really a big deal. (Just the report card $$ which I think went up to $50 for all As because it was so much harder to do.) I waited tables and the boys both worked at the movie theater on top of school, karate, and religious ed classes. But by then we were also driving so it wasn’t that big of a deal too. Our parents paid for gas as well as long as we were going to work/school/etc but would require us to fill the tank ourselves if we wanted to go on a trip with our friends or something.
My brother was also an entrepreneur–he would buy a bag of candy and then resell pieces on the bus for 50 cents, do other kids homework for them for $20 per assignment, and who knows what else. I was too honest for stuff like that!
Our 14 year old gets $20 per week. But it goes directly into her cheque account and she has to save for big things like going to shows, gifts for people or spending money for holidays and as such, it is much more about teaching her to save/spend wisely and I have taken away her access when she over spends. She wants a part time job soon and i have told her she will pay half her income to me as savings each week and the job is conditional on continued good grades.
She also gets $5 each monday which is for her to spend as she pleases. I don’t ask but I think she spends it on school lunches.
We’re in need of an upgrade to our allowance program. My kids are (boy) 8.5, and (girl) 5. He gets 2.50 a week and she gets 1.25. The numbers are kind-of random; I think we had a reason for it at one point, but I can’t remember what that was.
We’ve asked the 8yo to use his money for toys, books (esp. the [stupid] book fair at school), and fun stuff for himself but we buy his clothes, bday presents, tickets to the school skating parties, etc. Our girl is still not even interested — sometimes I don’t know what she even does with her allowance, and sometimes (most times) I forget to give it to her.
The concept of money isn’t making much of an impact. AJ saved his money a while back for an expensive video game. When he got to the store, he wanted something else, too, and his dad bought that for him, with the caveat that now AJ owes him $27. Well, it’s 4 months later and AJ still owes that $27, but he’s managed to buy himself some books in the meantime. He doesn’t get that he’s “in the red” at the moment.
We’re not very good at this. *scrolls up to read the other comments from smarter parents!*
My 14 year old gets $5 a week, but I transfer it from my account into his, and one week it goes into his checking, and the next it goes into savings. If I have to come up with cash he’ll never get it, and if I have to drive him to the bank to get it into savings, well, it would never get there. This way he learns about money and online banking!
When my oldest son turned 14, he had a number of social events every weekend that were starting to cost a lot of money ($9.50 for an adult movie ticket for example). We decided to give him $40 on the fist day of the month with the understanding that was his social money for the month. So far it has worked out well. He is helpful around the house, for example, he mows the grass, helps his younger siblings with homework, etc. but we don’t have a formal chore system. I think it is much harder for boys to make money in a young teen type job this year. They usually don’t have the option of being a babysitter, we don’t have paper routes for non drivers in our neighborhood, people want “insured and bonded” service providers for lawn care and dog walking— frankly, I’d be scared to have him mow someone else’s lawn — we could be setting ourselves up for some kind of lawsuit if he makes a mistake. All this to say, there are not very many formal money making opportunities for boys aged 13-15.
I should add my 46 year old husband had a job sorting boxes in a factory at 14 years old and he paid for everything himself outside of socks and underwear. Today, at this same factory, you have to be 18 to be on the factory floor. It is hard for my husband to understand the limited opportunities available for our (boy) children today. Even bus boys and camp counselors have a 16 year old age requirement where we live. As an aside, it is fairly easy for girl tweens and teens to earn $100 in a weekend with a babysitting job so there is some gender issues at play with this parenting issue.
I agree. If Rob were a girl, he could be starting to get some babysitting jobs. As it is, he’d like to have a job, but no one is hiring until 16. (And my guess is there’s some pretty hot competition for those jobs, not just from other teenagers but from adults.)
I wouldn’t count out babysitting- my cousin is Rob’s age and he has several regular babysitting jobs. If he has any interest in it maybe drop a few hints to neighbours/mom friends to see if anyone’s looking for a babysitter.
Is Rob able to do other odd jobs for people? Dog walking? Lawn work?
He’s physically able, but I think that kind of thing must vary by community: it Isn’t Done here.
I’m writing before I read anyone else’s comments.
This is something I turn around in my head all.the.time because I’m super inconsistent and I bother myself about it. At this point the whole thing is such a mess that the kids don’t even know what they have. hahaha. Here comes an essay:
I think when we realized that the kids should get some sort of allowance they were maybe 8 and 10 or a bit younger. As a family we decided that chores are a part of family life and we have to do them, allowance or no. My husband and I further decided that we work for $$ and the kids have the job of doing as well in school as they are able to, that is their #1 priority. Further, being a part of the family and doing the chores that went with that and doing your job well meant earning some portion of the family’s income. So we came up with $10 per week. My initial idea was that anything that they wanted to buy would come out of that money and they weren’t to bug us for other purchases. This has become complicated and I’m not consistent with it. My oldest keeps track like an old banker with a ledger, my youngest is probably owed hundreds that I’ve never turned over because she doesn’t care and so I often just buy something that she asks for. We couldn’t be lazier and really I’d like a better system, but damn it I never have cash on me.
At about the same time, I was paying a neighbor girl to put my youngest on the bus every day as I left the house 20 minutes before her bus arrived. This was a very valuable position to me as I had no other option and I paid her $10 per week. The kid loved it because she took the same bus so she was essentially getting paid to knock on our door every morning. :) Then she moved and my son was old enough for this responsibility (my kids go to different schools) and so I started paying him $5 per week. This is an additional very important job that I see as besides the family chores and responsibilites and so I’m willing to pay for it.
SO 12yo gets $15 per week somewhat regularly and he spends it on video games and legos. I do not make him purchase his own clothes unless it’s a special request cool t-shirt or something I wouldn’t otherwise buy.
10yo gets $10 per week less regularly because she doesn’t ask and doesn’t much care and thus if she does ask for something I typically buy it for her. She likes buying clothes, lip gloss, and getting her toenails done.
I’m my own worst enemy for this entire subject.
We’re wondering if that’s because they don’t get enough money to feel like there’s any point saving it:
Love this comment! It seems like the exact state of our country. Economists say Americans don’t put anything into savings anymore. Past generations used to save at least 25% of their income. Maybe this explains it. Everything costs so much more, and wages haven’t changed since the early 70s. And nobody prepares for retirement? Well, maybe we don’t believe in saving for something that will never happen?
Off subject, but a light bulb went off when I read your post. Nice post!
Growing up, the rule in my house was that your allowance was your age divided by three. For the in-between ages, it rounds down. (So like, at age 11 I got $3/week, and at 12 I got $4/week.) So, to me your system does seem a little low, but on the other hand my parents only had two kids’ allowances to worry about, and I’m sure if I had more brothers and sisters our allowances would have been lower.
It’s a tough call. When I was little I spent every penny on books — partly because I was addicted to reading, and partly because I think there was a rule against spending allowance on candy. Maybe that’s the reason mine was a bit higher?
Then again, with inflation, I doubt a kid could buy the same now as what I bought 20 years ago for the same price. I think it’s worth considering a raise for everyone, but only if your budget allows, and maybe instate a new rule about how much allowance can be spent on candy if you’re worried that’s where it’ll go.
Once I got a car and was driving myself to school, the age-divided-by-three went out the window because my parents helped chip in for gas. I was the type you mentioned that had a ton of extracurriculars and AP courses, and really didn’t have time for a job beyond the occasional night of babysitting. Also, I had a class that started a full hour before the school day, so I think my parents thought it was worth paying for my gas not to have to drive me to school at 6:30am every morning. :-)
Swistle, my husband and I have always had an allowance–since we were engaged over 11 years ago. I think that’s why we don’t argue about money–he doesn’t raise his eyebrows when I spend money on clothes or makeup and he can golf, etc with no resentment from me :).
We just started allowance for our kids last week, so can’t give much advice. We’re doing the dollar per year (ages 7 and 6) and no rules about saving, etc. from my Internet research I read that it shouldn’t be tied to chores and to just bite your tongue and let them do some trial and error…love the comments!
I don’t ever remember getting an allowance but I was expected to get a job as soon as I was able to buy non-necessitites and “upgrades” (the cool jeans/shoes,etc I wanted instead of the uncool ones mom was willing to buy) She got me a checking account and made me a co-signer on her cards to build my credit but I knew never to use them unless it was a capital E-mergency.
Our kids (8 and 5) don’t get an allowance but we pay for all their needs and most wants, within reason. They are expected to do a minimal number of chores just because they have to be done (mostly picking up after themselves, taking care of pets and cleaning their rooms on occasion) but we are gradually increasing their responsibilities. They get our change for their piggy banks which they get to cash in and spend when they get full and frequently get money from family for birthdays/holidays/events. We try to encourage them to make good decisions about their spending but we mostly leave it up to them.
I guess our bottom line for now is: you don’t need money since we pay for everything but if there is something you want that we are unwilling to buy (too expensive, not useful/a waste of money, too much like something you already have), you can do without, save up to buy it yourself or do something above and beyond (negotiated on a case by case basis) to earn it.
We are on an allowance hiatus right now, but that is about to end. We had a constriction of our own finances and thus, a trickle down effect occurred. :)
What we WERE doing (and are about to resume) is this:
Each kid has a glass jar, decorated by them.
The first day of each month, thirty or thirty one dollar bills are put into each child’s jar (days per month.)
Each child has a list of chores they are responsible for doing.
If they are done by the end of the day, the dollar remains.
Any chore not done- they have to remove a dollar bill from their jar and return it to me.
No one can touch any money in their jar until the end of the month, at which point any remaining money is theirs to keep, without restriction.
I don’t buy them anything outside of necessities (basic clothes and school uniform, food for family etc.)
Any family activity is funded by the parents (we all go out to dinner, or a movie, or get ice cream etc.)
Birthday gifts for family, Christmas gifts for family etc come out of their own money.
The eldest daughter, starting at 17, got 200$ per every two seasons, for clothing. This included Prom Dress, shoes etc.
I found this system worked beautifully. The kids seemed to not want to spend their money often and all of them saved up a LOT for Christmas gifts for their family. My son, at 14, bought us a framed Ravens autographed photo that is HUGE and cost him over 100 dollars. We were shocked and touched by this. All the kids enjoyed having enough money to really put thought into what to buy their siblings and the pride and excitement on Christmas morning was epic. They really got the joy of giving. :)
I do think it is important to give kids enough to work with. Earning 4 or 5 dollars a month just doesn’t BUY anything anymore and thus, kids *will* just buy piddly stuff or candy or whatever. It seems fruitless to try to do anything else. I’d rather my kids save up for a couple of months and get something they really want, whether it is for themselves or for someone else, then just fritter it away. JMO.
My kids (8,6,5,3) don’t get allowances. One, because I would have to actually remember to give them. Two, because I rarely have cash.
They do, however, get money for birthdays and Christmas often so they can save that or use it for buying things they want. (They often get between $30-40 total for birthdays, for example. – $10 from aunt, $10 from great grandma, etc) However, for Christmas they usually get quite a bit of money and I put 95% of it in their education savings funds. For birthdays, I put it in there only if specified.
When there are things they want but they have no money we usually work out a system where they can earn money, by doing chores that they aren’t normally expected to do, or I buy the thing until they’ve saved up.
As they get older I assume we will have to start an allowance but for now they are young enough that there aren’t a lot of things, outside of random toys, that they want that I don’t pay for.
Also wanted to add that I never got an allowance as a kid. When I entered 8th grade my parents would give us each $100 at the beginning of the school year to use to buy school clothes. That is the only time I remember them ever giving us money outright. I did babysit starting at 13.
My brothers and I never got regular allowances as kids. There were some specific chores that we could ask to do if we wanted to earn money. Like I remember ironing my dad’s shirts for money. I think I got $1/shirt. We would just ask for work if we wanted money, but not everything counted. It had to be above and beyond what we were normally expected to do. Occasionally, we’d ask our neighbors to do little things, too. We were close to all our neighbors so this didn’t seem weird to us and their kids would come over to our house and do odd jobs with us for cash.
When I was 12 I started babysitting and so I had that “income”. When I turned 16, I was paid $50/week and served as babysitter to my brothers and run them to appointments, after school activities, was expected to keep the house clean (do all the laundry, dishes, vacuum, etc) and start dinner each night. I also picked up two boys from my little brother’s class and dropped them off at home for money. I don’t remember what that paid. But, I was expected to buy my own gas (those were the days of $.88/gal gas, sob), pay for any clothes I wanted (I wore uniforms to school which my parents obviously provided but “weekend” clothes were on me), any activities that I did with my friends I paid for and if I didn’t want sack lunch then I had to buy my own lunch at school. My parents are bankers so I remember having a savings account pretty young and we were expected to save, but how much was up to us. Prior to 16, I spent my money going to the movies with friends, snacks at the neighborhood pool, books, and during the summer pizza delivery, haha. We hardly ever went out to eat as kids and it was unfathomable to think my parents would buy lunch somewhere. So my brothers and I would save our money and order pizzas.
My parents didn’t give allowances. I think this had less to do with some policy they decided on or lesson they wanted to teach us and more to do with the fact that they lived paycheck to paycheck and never knew if they would have an extra $1 or $10 to give us for anything. That said, my parents bought what I needed, nothing fancy. If I wanted something more, like a designer t-shirt instead of a plain Hanes, I had to ask for it for my birthday or Christmas gift. We didn’t get cash from anybody for those occasions.
My sister started babysitting around 12 or 13 years and my brother mowed lawns at around the same age. I had no interest in doing either and just did without extras until I started working in a restaurant at 14. Then, like them, I started paying for everything for myself. Mom and Dad gave me a place to live and paid for health and auto insurance and provided a lot of meals. Everything else came out of my pocket. My husband had pretty much the same situation.
Now my daughter is 4 years old and we are trying to teach some responsibility, but I have the means my parents didn’t and am finding it sooo hard. I buy her clothes and the occasional toy when she is especially good. She unknowingly receives $300-450/year from various family members for her birthday and Christmas, which all immediately goes into an investment account. Recently she has expressed interest in having “spending money.” I’ve provided her with a list of extra chores she can do. So far that has been working out pretty well. But then she’s only 4 and the spending money is for putting quarters in gumball machines….
Tutoring is a fantastic way for kids to earn money. My 17 year old makes $20 an hour tutoring mostly math. She has so many students that she turns kids away. My 22 year old did the same thing when she was in high school.
We have never done allowances. But – both of my kids (17 and 22 years old) are responsible with money. They know it is not endless, indulgences only come with good behavior, and that you only spend part of what you make. They grew up watching us make good decisions and get it.
Both of my children got a car and a credit card when they turned 16. No fake dad made it kind of card. A real one. I feel that it is essential when driving alone. The interstates around here have a program where disabled cars are towed. So – if you get a flat, your car gets towed off of he freeway. If you can’t pay for the tow on the spot, your car gets impounded. That is just one reason for the credit card. Another is that if you are responsible enough to drive a car, you need to be responsible with money. Screw up either, and you lose both.
I never got an allowance growing up. I did get a job when I was 16. I couldn’t keep any of the money at home because my parents would steal it. They sucked – and still do.
I’m pretty sure we’re at the low end. Our kids get (their age – 4) per month. So my 12 year old gets $8 per month, and the 7 year old gets $3 per month. Which is practically nothing, I know. But my son has had opportunities to work in his dad’s business and so a few times a year he earns $50 or more for a weekend, plus there is occasional cash from relatives, and $2 per tooth, so currently my son has about $100 saved up (he wants an iphone) and my daughter has about $40 saved up. This is their own spending money – we keep savings separate. So I don’t feel like they need much more.
I pay for all their food, needs, parties and events. If there’s something they want and I think it’s worth it (like a scooter or pack of markers) I’ll buy it for them. If I’m not so sure, they pay all or half, depending. My son goes to magic tournaments that cost $25, and I’ll pay half. If my daughter wants a new toy I sometimes pay half (recently it was a $12 used video game, so we each paid $6).
I avidly encourage frugal shopping, and will generally be happy to buy them whatever cheap items they find at a yard sale, library book sale, or thrift shop. We shop the used games at GameStop. We look online for lowest prices and free shipping, and check reviews. We had a yard sale last year and I gave them each 20% of the profit. In short, I’m raising bargain hunters.
They get lots of gifts at Christmas, their birthday, a few at Easter, and occasional other surprises from family. If we go on vacation we give them an amount they can spend and let them pick out reasonable souvenirs.
Long story short, if I thought they needed more allowance I’d give it, and we probably will once they get to teenage-hood, but for now, they don’t seem to need more, and I hate watching them spend their money on the umpteenth Beanie Boo or Magic deck.
I couldn’t even tell you what my kids get. My husband doles out the allowances, but we never seem to have a few extra bucks to give them, so he tells them he keeps track of it on a spreadsheet for when we can finally afford the big Pay Day. It’s almost become a family joke now–about the “imaginary allowances.”
In essence, if our kids want stuff, and we can afford it, we try to buy it for them for things like Good Report Cards, birthdays, x-mas and such. But we have explained to them that as a family, we have a very tight budget, so ALL the money is needed for bills, groceries, swim clubs, baseball gear, etc. A good chunk of our earnings do go to the kids. They may not like not having pocket money here and there, but frankly, we don’t do many things that require the kids to USE pocket money.
(And the tooth fairy makes me angry. When DH takes the job, teeth seem to be worth $4 more than when *I* take the job ($5 instead of $1!). Inconsistent and incredibly ridiculous amounts are paid for those teeth! I say, we have FOUR kids! Multiply that by 20 teeth! Are you crazy! *sigh* DH loves to spoil them. )
I like the comment about letting them figure it out by trial and error. It seems like they would learn more about money that way than micro managed savings mandates. And it would be easier for the parent too.
I wanted to add that we also maintain veto power about how they spend their money. So, e.g., candy is rarely an option.
I’m in my mid-twenties, so I spent the nineties in Elementary school, etc. I do not remember actually getting an allowance or getting paid for chores! I think we got the opportunity to make a little money with big chores and such, as well as a small amount no more than a few times a month… I’m thinking less than $5. We also sold garden produce (think teensy stuff like peppers in a sandwich bag, cherry tomatoes, etc.) and treats in the summer at a card table on the driveway when we wanted to make a little cash, lemonade stand-style.
Digression: In my family, books are not extras or treats. We went to the library A LOT, but also went to new and used bookstores and were usually allowed to pick a book or two out, paid for by a parent or grandparent, each time. I remember sitting in the backseat making myself carsick by reading because I couldn’t wait to start my new books until we got home… Good times.
Anyway. We didn’t get toys except at Christmas and birthdays and even then gifts were more likely to be books, clothes, and board games. School clothes, lunch money, etc. was paid for by parents, and it was clear that we didn’t have a lot of money. I have a frugal mom who taught us from early on “want vs. need” because that was a very big part of our lives (divorced parents). We shopped (still shop) at discount-type stores, thrift and secondhand stores, etc. I remember regulating myself at an early age, like “Oh, I really want this book more than that book, so I am going to put that book back and ask Mom for only this book, because then she is more likely to say yes.”
Starting in middle school, babysitting money was our extra money for snacks, movie tickets, etc. Every once in a while, Mom or (more likely, because he was in a position to) Dad would give us some extra money for these types of fun things, sometimes just because and sometimes it was tied to good report cards and the like. There was NO set amount for good report cards, and it didn’t happen every time. (I had friends who got $10 or whatever for every A… Oh my.) In high school, once we could drive, we tutored and baby sat. That money went into our gas tanks and our mouths, mostly. Parents paid for dances, yearbooks, and big stuff like that. We paid for smaller stuff, like school performance tickets, football games, etc. I would be at school by 7:30 am and sometimes not be home until 7:30 pm, since I was always in a sport or a pre-season (cross country and track, JV all four years, wooo) and usually tutoring or working on the school paper or the like. A “real” job wasn’t feasible with the sports and newspaper and AP classes and such, so I think my parents were especially willing to help because I was so busy even without the babysitting and tutoring I took on.
my family worked the same way with books…they were not “special treats” but basic building blocks of life ;) one of the best-maybe the best-thing my parents ever did for me was give me constant access to books of all kinds and let me read.
I received 10 cents a week in the early eighties when I first started receiving an allowance. It did go up from there, but I don’t remember by how much. The kids in my family were a mix– I was an extreme saver, and my brother (1 year younger, same allowance amount & schedule) was an extreme spender.My parents didn’t use our allowances as a way to teach strategies about saving/spending, and I wish they had. Neither one of us had a balanced approach on our own, and it took time for each of us to modify our own default behaviors. I intend to use allowance differently with my own kids when they’re old enough.
This is very interesting! I haven’t read all of the comments yet, but I will. I have 2 kids, ages 4 and 6. We only recently started giving an allowance, about 6 months ago or so. I give them each $2/week but that is only if they do their chores (which I essentially make sure they do every week so they will get their allowance), which are putting their dirty clothes in the hamper and clearing their dishes after meals. I plan to add to their chores as they get older. I would love for them to do my chores, but they aren’t old enough to do my chores as I would like them done. I picked $2 sort of randomly because they don’t want to buy candy, they want to buy toys. Typically the toys they want are $5-$20 so I figured it made it possible to save up enough for a $5 toy in 3 weeks, which isn’t too long and if they wanted to spend the $2, we could go to the dollar store or something and they would learn that those toys are crap and it’s worth waiting to get the better toy.
As for my own childhood, we were really poor until I was 8 or so. I never got an allowance. I briefly got paid to mow the lawn when I was a young teenager but eventually, after a month or so, it just became my chore that I did for free. I got my first job at Dunkin Donuts making minimum wage when I was 15 and bought my own first car when I was 16 for $1,900 with my own money. I then worked summers at the beach and saved it as much as I could hoping it would last the school year. I was in sports all three seasons of the school year. I also got a clothing allowance of I think $200/year and if I wanted, I could ask for $ for Christmas and birthdays. I believe my mom spent $250 on me for xmas, maybe the same for birthdays but I can’t remember. It helped that gas was only $1/gallon when I was in HS, I can’t imagine those poor teenagers trying to pay gas AND have money left over (much like adults). If I wanted something before I was able to work I had to wait for xmas or my birthday. If it was clothes, I had to wait for the $200 school shopping time. I never had the things other kids had and I just had to deal with it.
For my kids, I have a feeling they are going to have it easier because we have a lot more money than my mom did, but I am going to try my hardest not to spoil them and teach them to work for things. For example, my 6 year old wanted an American Girl doll because all of her friends have one. I didn’t buy one for her at Christmas because I felt a $100 doll was too much for a 6 year old and she would end up cutting it’s hair or coloring on it. So, she used some birthday money to buy a knock off at Walmart for $27 and she is totally happy with it. If she acts responsibly and still wants one next year, perhaps Santa will get her one. I absolutely will make my kids gets jobs as teenagers (at least in the summers) as it was such a positive experience for me. Sorry, I just rambled. It really has me thinking!
Haven’t read the other comments yet.
My brother and I both got weekly allowances as kids and were responsible for buying stuff with it. Initially that was just friend’s birthday gifts plus toys we wanted (but hadn’t already been provided), but over time that expanded (so did the allowance amounts) and included things like social events (movie tickets, dances, concerts) and half the cost of competitive sporting events, if applicable. We got allowances until we started college, I think. Wecould also earn extra doing extra chores, and I had a paper route from a young age (11) and baby and pet sat. He didn’t work so much but then became a pretty good musician and got paid big bucks (no joke, $25/hour, I think, plus tips, in the late 1980s) to play at a brunch in a local restaurant on weekends.
I grew up to be really good with managing money as a young adult, and he was dreadful. My stepkids, who also grew up under the same system (as each other, not as me and my brother) are the same way — she was horrid with managing money and he was great. Which is ironic because with everything BUT money the pattern for them was pretty much the opposite. How is that possible? Anyway, the point is, the habits and skills kids acquire are not entirely in our control!
I don’t remember any of the amounts above (except my brother’s extravagant wage!), but it probably doesn’t matter since it was, you know, back in the dark ages. It was enough to be manageable but not entirely easy (but my brother and I were allowed to borrow and then pay back without interest).
As for us, now, I’ve heard the rule of thumb of half the kid’s age, in dollars, per week. Being clueless, we started this number, rounding down, when my son turned 5 and it’s been way too much. He did save up and buy a scooter ($30), which of course was a LOT for a little guy to save, and has bought a few toys but is mostly all about saving his money (also? He is not exactly deprived. I mean we don’t go crazy, but he is not wanting for toys, activities, etc.). This reminds me, I need to introduce the rule that he buys his friends’ birthday gifts though I may or may not hold off a year (since he’s so darned cheap!). We didn’t give him a raise when his birthday rolled around, because as I say, it seems like we’re already giving him too much (but neither have I cut it back).
This reminds me of one of the geekiest things I did as a teenager – when I was about 14 I thought my bedtime was too early, so I had all my friends sign a petition with their bedtime and got it changed to later!
I don’t have any kids, but here’s what happened when we were young – between the ages of 4 and 13 we got ‘pocket money’ – this was ten times our age in pennies (so, 40p a week when we were four, 50p a week when we were five etc). From 13 until an age I don’t remember we then got an ‘allowance’, which was quite a bit more. When we still got pocket money, our parents paid for most things and the pocket money was for fripperies and sweets, but the allowance was meant to cover most of our social life and clothes. (But school dinners were paid by parents). To come up with the figure for the allowance, I think my mum wrote down everything she spent on the oldest sibling for a few months and decided how much the allowance would be and what she would still pay for.
I think I’m probably on the extreme end of the spectrum, but I’m an only child so I think that makes a big difference. I don’t remember having a set allowance when I was in elementary school, though I have a vague idea I might have been getting $5/week at some point. When I turned 11 and went to ‘high school’ (I went to a Catholic school that was 6th-12th grade) I got $20/week, and that amount stayed constant pretty much for the rest of high school. I started working at 15, and by my last year of high school I was working three jobs and didn’t really get an allowance because I didn’t need it.
I had to use my allowance for social events (movies, weekend shopping etc) but my parents would pay for clothes (within reason), school expenses, haircuts etc.
It was definitely generous but it wasn’t excessive among my peers. As a side note, when I was unemployed a couple of years ago and my parents were sending me money for rent, my dad still called it my allowance! So apparently you’re never too old to have one. :)
I don’t remember the dollar amounts I used to get for allowance, but the one thing I distinctly remember was the NO CANDY rule (I hated the no candy rule). We weren’t allowed to spend any of our allowance on candy, and I don’t think that dollar stores even were around, so it always seemed pretty manageable to save our $ for bigger items. Looking back I think the no candy rule was in place mostly to prevent the nickel and diming that would happen with a small child’s allowance (what else could we possibly spend it on?). I think my parents were often agreeable with splitting the cost or making up the difference of an item that they approved of, not so much if they didn’t. I also remember that in high school I got a certain $ amount each month and was expected to pay most of my day-to-day expenses with the exception of gas and car insurance.
I love this topic! I don’t have kids but I remember growing up and being given a small allowance and a chance to earn a little extra by doing “special” chores. But my parents provided me with what I needed and sometimes wanted (Birthdays, Christmas, special tiems). I had a paper route for a while and saved up for a new bike. When I got in High School I didn’t work (still got a small allowance but had to buy lunches out of that if I wanted them) so my Dad would make sure I had “mad” money or would give me money for a movie or something. If I really wanted something special he would give me an advance on my next allowance…when he died in my 40’s I realized I probably owed him a lot for those advances.
I have two kids, ages seven and nine. I’m going to focus on the nine-year-old’s system primarily. First of all, we use an app called KiddyBank. He doesn’t get paid in cash. Each week, he gets $4 in his spending account, $2 in savings, $2 in charity. (This is all virtual — the app is set to “deposit” this amount each Friday into those three accounts on my phone.)
When his charity account hits about $50, he decides where to send it — it’s almost always the Cheetah Conservation Fund. He knows his savings is for buying a car, or some other far-off, big purchase. My parents did this for me and it was AWESOME to have a few thousand dollars ready for me when I needed to buy a car.
His spending is his to use. I will often warn the kids, “Hey, the school festival is coming up. I’ll buy you dinner there, but anything else you’ll have to spend your own money.” Same with souvenirs, sometimes trips to the candy shop, toys, etc. He has become a savvy consumer. He’ll price check things on Amazon to see if it’s cheaper. He also reads reviews because he doesn’t want to waste his money. He does save for more expensive things he wants (usually video games). He’s pretty disciplined, but I do think it makes a difference that he gets $4 a week. He can save $20 for a game in a reasonable amount of time.
My kids DO help out around the house and do well in school, but we don’t tie it to allowance. I want them to be smart about money. My parents did a great job teaching me, so I’m using similar methods for my kids.
This makes me wish I were a better parent.
We don’t do allowances. BUT the only chore I really require of my kids is “school.” We have a set out pay system so that if they are willing to help out with extra household chores, they will get paid according to the system.
Surprisingly the parenting books I have read are right: Offer a kid money to do a chore and they automatically think it is optional and take the NO option.
When I get some unoccupied brain cells, I would like to try harder at figuring out this issue.
I can’t comment from a parenting perspective since Ellie is only two, but I can tell you what my parents did, because I think it worked really well and we plan to implement the same system when she’s old enough for an allowance. As soon as we started receiving an allowance (which was always separate from chores, although there was occasionally stuff we could do for extra cash) we got basically two separate but equal amounts, where half was ours to spend however and whenever we wanted, and the other half went into the bank and we were expected to have A Plan for something we were saving for. When we were just little, we didn’t have to save up for anything big (even just saving for a month or two was okay) but as we got older, we were expected to save for longer. I remember buying my first boombox this way, and then when I was in the 7th grade I bought an awesome bike. I was SO PROUD of those purchases. It was a big deal to get a bunch of cash out of the bank and plonk it down for something I had been thinking about for months.
When we were old enough for babysitting/paper routes/etc. the rule was the same, half of what we made had to be saved. I think once we started high school the saving part of things changed to be exclusively for university. When we turned 16 we were expected to get a job of some kind, and half of each paycheque went into the university fund. By the time I graduated from high school I had a lot of money in the bank. The other half went towards the kind of frivolous purchases teenagers make, and I never felt deprived or like it was an unfair situation. Because they started us on this early, it was Just the Way It Was. I think my siblings felt the same way.
It seems kind of like a complicated system (I’m sure it was) and a lot of it relied upon us being honest about how much we were making (I had to collect my babysitting money and hand over half of it to my parents every couple of weeks) but I think it worked really well to teach us the value of money and how/why to save.
I remember getting $20 per week in high school, but about $15 went towards lunch in the high school food court, so I saved the other $5 per week and I had to pay for all entertainment (movie tickets, etc) and shopping (clothes, etc) but my parents would buy the big ticket items like bathing suits and winter coats. Before high school, they just paid for stuff, but we wouldn’t get many frivolous things or get to go to the movies often at all.
I’m not going to read the comments, but just add what we do.
We have a 7 year old and a newborn baby. The 7 year old has been earning an allowance for about a year or so. We use the Dave Ramsey Jr. program. He doesn’t get an “allowance”, he gets a “commission”. He earns money based on chores that he does. They are age appropriate things. And they are things that I will just do if he doesn’t. I won’t bug him about doing things, and if I have to do them he won’t earn the money that time. The way we organized everything it comes to about $5/week when he’s remembering to do a few chores each day. Some weeks he has $5, some weeks $1, and others nothing. This money gets divided into “Give,” “Save,” and “Spend”. His spending money can be spent on whatever he wants.
Seeing your yearly total, though, I see that we’re already at half of that. When the baby is old enough to start earning that is a lot of money for 2 kids yearly. But the older kid will be approaching job age by then, so maybe it will work out.
We didn’t get allowance steadily. More if my parents knew something was coming up (a holiday, a vacation, etc) for us to save up for. We had our usual list of chores and if we did them we always received half of our age. Ie: When I was 10, I would get $5 a week.
I started giving Gabriel allowance on his 6th birthday. He gets $1/week. It’s not tied to chores. I’ll occasionally do a one off not-normally-his-chore chore for additional funds (stacking the firewood, for instance).
I love using allowance as a consequence (such as: if you hit your cousin again, I’m giving HIM your allowance)
I got allowance all the way through high school, and I had a part time job from the time I was about 14. I think in Junior High I got $10/wk, and in high school I got $15-20.
My mom would buy me basics, but I had to pay for things like ‘cool’ clothes, and makeup, etc.
I got money from my grandparents for Christmas and birthday, as does Gabriel. At his dad’s he has a chores for money situation.
He doesn’t have a savings account, but I think I’ll start one for him soon enough.
This is rambly.
I forget where I was going with this
When I was growing up, our allowance was half our age. Half of that went into our little wallets to spend when we wanted, and half went into our bank accounts.
Those habits taught us how to save, and at 28 with a house and many travel stories, I’m happy to say I’m streets ahead of many others my age.
It was good for my parents as well I’m sure, as they had an explanation as to how much we were getting paid.