I hope you won’t mind if I agitate fretfully to you for a couple a few seven paragraphs about a stressful morning, none of which is a Big Deal but all of which is otherwise going to have to be vented to Paul the minute he walks in the door and I try not to do that. And if you DO mind (and I don’t blame you one bit: YOU just walked in the door TOO), you can skip down to the bottom where there’s a link that made me cry in a more positive sort of way.
This morning the twins had their 6-year-old check-up. Edward has lost several pounds in the last year, and he was none too plump to begin with. Elizabeth has gained only half a pound in the last year. Both of them seem healthy, but these new measurements mean their height and weight percentiles have drifted apart to a point that caused the doctor to hem and haw throughout the appointment, wondering if/what he should do. Because on one hand: both children look/seem fine. But on the other hand: unexplained weight loss is one of red-light-alert markers of Issues. But back to the first hand: it can also be a normal part of growth. But back to the other hand: Edward is a little pale and has under-eye circles, and it’s hard to know if that’s He Gets It From His Mother, or if it’s More Markers. And both of them are a little PICKY with the eating, so perhaps a nutritional thing? Hem, hem, haw, haw.
The pediatrician finally came down on the side of “I’m sure they’re both fine, but…” and he sent Edward for blood work. (Elizabeth did gain SOME weight, and her percentiles didn’t gap as much further as Edward’s did, and she doesn’t have under-eye circles, so for now he’s not sending her.)
Have you…accompanied a child for a blood-draw? Oh dear mercy. I should have known from the expression on the technician’s face, which was the look of someone hoping the kidney stone at least passes quickly if it can’t pass painlessly. I’d mistaken it for “not having a good day,” but no, it was the face of experience.
In case you have a similar event in your future, Edward would like you to know that it hurts more than a mosquito bite and it was very scary and it went on much longer than he expected. I too was surprised how long it went on, and how many adults (three) it took to keep still even a child who is TRYING to hold still. I think if I had to do it again, I’d prepare the child by saying things like “It will seem like it’s going to go on FOREVER, but it will not, and the more you can hold still, the faster it will go and the less it will hurt; it may seem very scary and weird, and it IS scary and weird, but it’s also fine and it’s what’s supposed to happen, and I will be right there with you, and I have had this done too and it was weird but fine.” (I would also put in more solid information about what exactly would happen, but I’m sparing those of you who would rather not think about it.)
Afterward, I made it worse by being too shaken to remember I’d said BEFORE the appointment that on our way out AFTER the appointment we could get a package of Doritos from the vending machine to eat with lunch. We were all the way home, and Edward almost halfway back to normal, when he realized. So instead we had lunch at Wendy’s, and something is going wrong with the Wendy’s near us so the order was screwed up in three different ways, one of which was the “Assembling everything else right away even though there’s a 5-minute wait on one item, which means everything else gets cold/melted” error, and that added to my frazzled/unsettled feeling.
ALSO, Elizabeth got to skip the blood draw but she got referred to an ENT for her enlarged tonsils, which do look alarming. I’d never noticed them until the dentist mentioned them, and even I could tell something wasn’t right: they take up nearly her whole throat. So I had to call the specialist and make an appointment, and that meant having to work through a suspicious receptionist who seemed to think I might be trying to SNEAK IN a visit to an ENT. And she kept asking me questions like “Do you have our business card?” which, why/how would I have their business card? And then she said I needed to call my insurance company to get a referral, and I said I had a referral, and she said no the other kind of referral, and also I would need to call my insurance company, and I said okay and thank you very much and wished an oxygen mask would drop out of my phone at times like this.
I called the insurance company and had to dial THREE TIMES before I got into the system, because I kept messing up (OMG SO MANY “For ___, press 8” menus, with the options spoken SO SLOWLY and none of them what I needed), and then I finally got through to someone, and she was nice as toast, I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to a nicer insurance person. But still. I didn’t have the address of the ENT doctor I’d made the appointment with, and after she very nicely went to see if she could look it up, I realized I DID have at least a PARTIAL address (street and city) that would have been helpful. And then I didn’t have the ENT doctor’s first name, and didn’t know how to spell his last name, and ack. And then she confirmed that it was fine to see him, and she was wrapping up the call when I said, “Wait, and do I need some sort of…other referral?,” and OH YES INDEED I DO. And to get this referral, I had to CALL BACK the pediatrician and ask for it. Meanwhile, of course I was thinking I DID have “a referral from my pediatrician,” since I had a piece of paper that said across the top “Thistletown Pediatrics Referral”. Could this perhaps be made a little less confusing SOMEHOW?
********
Perhaps because of being rather TENDER from this morning’s events, I started crying IMMEDIATELY after clicking through a link Paul sent me to Dear Photograph. People line up a photo against the real life background. I don’t know why that’s so very, very touching, but it just IS. I suppose it’s in the category of “Time: Oh How It Flees.” I don’t think the “Dear Photograph” format for the captions works (wait, WHO is writing WHAT to WHOM?), but the photos themselves are great.
All that deserves MUCH fretting and I’d think a good healthy dose of brownies or chocolates or brownies WITH chocolates.
I mean YARK.
I will be thinking about you and Edward and hoping this is a Normal Kid Thing that will resolve eventually with no further blood draws (WOOZE) necessary.
Oi vey. The blood draw. Yes, it was not fun but I think we got really lucky with the technician and she did a really great job explaining it in simple kid terms and also told him once it was over, he would get a ball. But there were three of them plus me so I think it is standard for kids under a certain age.
I would be fretting too.
It should be easier than that. For us a referral took one call, that our ped office made for us. And so…I don’t know, maybe it’s your ins company or the ped office or something but it shouldn’t be that hard.
Oh the blood draw. I still have PTSD from the time Eli had it done.
Also, I don’t want to leave assvice in the comments, but if you ever want info. regarding kid weight loss/blood work/gluten free stuff, holler at me.
When Sprog was wee and I mean WEE, I had to have multiple blood draw episodes with him. I learned the following: blow pop sucker BEFORE the blood draw. Like popped into his mouth right before the needle was popped into his arm. He would clamp his mouth down onto the sucker, no screaming, no squirming and we all got out with minimal trauma. It is the only thing that got us through them all alive, I’m sure.
Okay I remember getting blood drawn when I was 22 and pregnant. That was HORRIBLE. I can only imagine what it is like for a small child.
Oh, oh, OH. I feel for you. I have two very very skinny children and weight issues are always an issue at the doctor’s office and have been since BIRTH. So far the verdict is just that they are skinny but still..ack! The testing!
And getting in to see specialists…my youngest had to see a pediatric urologist and my dr called for a referral. They were supposed to call me for an appt. But they didn’t tell me it would be MONTHS before they were even going to call, let alone make an appointment. I have anxiety just thinking about making those damn appointments.
Elizabeth- I thought of you IMMEDIATELY: the pediatrician said “Let’s test him for celiac” and I immediately thought of you and Eli! I’ll see what the tests say (AND what happens with Edward, regardless of what the tests say) and get in touch if things seem to be heading the same way as with Eli.
I’m sorry your day was crumby!
Good link, though. (it made me cry too.)
that link makes me very sad that i don’t live near any childhood photos anymore, and that my parents don’t live in EITHER house i was a child in anymore, because this will make it Very Difficult Indeed to recreate one for myself.
poor swistle and poor edward and poor elizabeth with her enormous tonsils!!
I found the “simple” blood pricks on my newborn during his extended hospital stay for jaundice. And then there was the chest xray when he was only a few weeks old that required me holding his arms tightly above his head while a clear, plastic cast clamped around his body to keep him still.
*shudder*!
I’m sorry it came down to you putting all the pieces together in regards to the appt with the specialist. It really would have been simpler if your pediatrician’s nurse or clerk could have just taken five minutes to give you a heads up.
I love that link; I thought it captured the beauty of life in that it was such ordinary stuff and yet it was evoking all these happy/good feelings. Good find by Paul.
When faced with the interminable phone tree, press 0 repeatedly. If it’s a voice system, keep saying ‘representative’ until they put a real live person on the line. Then you can say what you want and let them figure out how to route you.
Sorry about the blood draw; I had lots of them as a wee one and lived to tell the tale. After one, my dad distracted me by giving me something to drink and then asking why it wasn’t coming out the hole the needle made. Why, indeed.
Sorry!
Oh jeeeeezuuuus. Phone calls and blood draws and referrals! OH MY!
(Oh HELL!)
I think this post raised my blood pressure about 50 points. The phone thing. The insurance thing. The referral thing. The ISSUES thing. The blood draw thing!!!!
GAH. You deserve a massage after that day. Seriously.
Probably the receptionist was not “trying” to be suspicious, just they’re trying to figure out which of their marketing dollars is working best.
And yes, as someone who talks to insurance companies every day, either hit zero a lot, or, if you forgot which option to press, just knowingly press the wrong one and cop to it when you get someone on the phone. “whoops! I think I pressed the wrong option. Can you transfer me to someone who can help with ______?”. Works 99% of the time.
with blood draws for little kids the first thing you should ask for is the person who is the best at these and there always is one. i don’t know how many vials they needed to draw but i can tell you i have 12 pound dogs that get blood work done and the vet never has to stick more than once and 1 person holds the dog…if a vet can do it quickly on a 12 pound dog than they should be able to do it on a much bigger child. i have liitle skinny veins myself so i know how crappy it is to not have the best blood person do it. i would have forgotten the doritos to
I hope tomorrow goes better for you!
Oh, man. I had to take my 6 month old for a blood draw. It was 2 years ago, and I still shudder at the horror of it.
Oh, lord, no, venting is warranted. That is a CRAPPY day.
FWIW, my $0.02 on the weight loss/tonsils thing. It sounds crazy. But. So, my older daughter was quite skinny but long for the first few years of life, and then from age 3-4 she got taller but gained NO weight. 0 lbs. She was, I think, 31 lbs. for a full year. But she kept getting taller. Her weight was in the 10th percentile or so, but height was in the 90th. And the doctor was all, “Don’t worry about it! 10th percentile is totally okay, it is completely within the range of normal.” And I was all, “Um, HELLLOOOOO, 10th percentile weight and 90th percentile height–I’m not concerned with her weight. I’m concerned with her BMI. Clothes in her length FALL OFF HER BODY.”
Now, it so happened that she also had big bags under her eyes, seemed sort of sallow to me all the time, and she snored LOUDLY and gurgled in her sleep. I think she was getting CRAP sleep. All the time. And finally everyone agreed that an ENT visit was in order, and our ENT surgeon was more than happy to cut out her tonsils and adenoids. And around 3 months after her surgery, she had put on THREE pounds. At age 5, she was 38 lbs. She now has a proper girth that holds up her clothes. I even spotted teensy love handles in her bathing suit, which OMG, how cute, and OMG, now do I have to worry about her getting TOO heavy?, WOE IS ME, I must worry about something.
(And AFTER all of this, I found out that my dad was also a painfully skinny child, and then had his tonsils removed and plumped RIGHT up around age 4.)
Anyhow. Just throwing this out there, but if you feel like something isn’t right with Edward but they can’t see enlarged tonsils, maybe push to have them check out his adenoids?? I don’t know, I’m no doctor and I don’t know if adenoids can be enlarged without tonsils, but they had to use this “spaghetti noodle” camera through her nose to see the adenoids, and sure enough, yep! They were huge and gross and in the way of everything!
Sorry for giving totally unsolicited advice. Feel free to balk and ignore.
Yikes. That made me fretful just reading it. It’s hard enough taking your kidlets to the dr but when you start getting hmmmm noises it’s stressful. Add bloodwork and it’s just too much. Hope everything works out with both of them.
That link was too sweet.
Seconding Sabrina’s comment about tonsils and skinniness. My 4 year old had just about dropped off the growth charts, especially for weight. I realized he was snoring VERY loudly, and I could actually hear his apnea–he would stop breathing and I would wait for his next breath–and thought to check his tonsils. They were HUGE! The ENT who took them out (along with his adenoids) said they were some of the largest he’d ever seen. Two months after the surgery, he’s gained 6 pounds, dark circles are gone, and he’s sleeping absolutely silently! Apparently they can use so many calories just breathing at night that it interferes with growth.
Good luck!
Agree with the tonsils/weight connection–I know two families who had similar situations with their kids. However, it’s not Edward with the enlarged tonsils, right?
My son is 4 and a half, and we’ve had to take him in for weight checks every 3 months for the last year. His issue was that he wasn’t gaining either, which meant he fell off of the 75% curve down to 60%. He also has very pale skin and dark circles under his eyes, which is apparently a sign of something bad sometimes? He did grow taller during that time period, and he eats like a horse, so it didn’t seem to make much sense.
We had the blood draw too, last year, and it was horrible. He saw the needle coming and managed to wriggle off of my lap and out of the grasp of more than one technician and then ran down the hallway and hid in a supply closet. It took us 10 minutes to find him. And then we still had to do the draw. He sat in my arms and cried silently the whole time. It was absolutely terrible. ANYWAY, they didn’t find anything suspicious in the blood work and when I took him in for the last weight check he had finally gained two pounds. I don’t know. Growing is weird, I guess.
The blow pop is a GOOD idea – thanks other reader!
Did they grow in height?
Anon- Yes, they both got taller.
A question regarding the not gaining weight (which is technically losing weight if they grew taller but didn’t put on pounds): Are they in school? I deal with the weight issue with my eight year old. Part of the issue is that he is picky, but the bigger part is that they have a very short lunch period which is also early in the school day. He is a SLOW eater. I mean really SLOW. Like dinner can take over an hour. He is chatty and likes to socialize at lunch. He is NOT HUNGRY yet at lunch time. I know how much he eats because I pack his lunch and he brings the leftovers home, and some days he has eaten barely anything. I have been giving him pediasure as a supplement, and I add calories and/or fat where I can. Often if he is having apple slices, he has them with peanut butter. I let him have his toast very buttery. I make smoothies in the afternoon.
It is also difficult to deal with the obesity issue. People are talking about it constantly. He is concerned about it, even though I have had to lecture him about the fact that he is NOWHERE CLOSE to eating too much. He plays sports and he needs the food.
Kelley- They’re in kindergarten, which is only half-day here so they still have lunch at home.
My daughter had a blood draw, the reason escapes me, but OMG! It took two nurses and myself to hold her down. I was basically laying across her entire chest while holding her face towards me and that was the longest however long of my life. I bet it was less than a minute, but it felt like an eternity. She cried for about 30 minutes after it was finished. She will no longer go to a doctor without asking if they are taking her blood.
I’m late to the party, but you know I just went through this with Liv–a 2yo who lost 5lbs in 6 months. They tested her for celiac and all that jazz and her tests were negative. Then they had her start drinking whole milk again and having us really watch what she ate (she is a picker–eats from morning to night, but rarely a meal and is always just GOING running from here to there all day long). They wanted to prove that she COULD gain weight.
The tonsil theory of the others is interesting to me. She needs hers out, but ENT wanted to wait until she turned 3. So we’ll see how that goes. She was a perfect angel for her blood draw though, which knocked my socks off.
Thinking of you and Edward; I hope it’s nothing.
Oh man, the blood draws with kids are absolutely awful.