Can I ask for your input on something? Three of my kids lovvvvvvvve video games. What do you think is the right amount of time to let children play video games per day when there’s no school? I guess I’m looking for RANGES here, since probably none of us are, like, “90 minutes YES, 91 minutes NO WAY.” You don’t have to HAVE children to give an opinion on this.
It would be useful to know whether you yourself like video games—I think I would have said a much lower number of minutes before getting into playing Sims and being, like, “I AM GOING TO HAVE TO QUIT MY JOB TO PLAY THIS FULL-TIME,” which has given me more empathy for the “WHAT?? I JUST started playing!!” children.
I think it’s going to be tempting to downplay the amount of time we allow (or would theoretically allow), but I hope you’ll say so if the answer is “6 hours” or “however much they want” or anything more than you think is average. Maybe go anonymous if it makes you feel shy to say it—I know I’D feel shy to say how much I let my kids watch/play, especially before someone else said how much THEY allowed.
My husband and I were both into games… he still is.. I still am but I have no time, I don’t know where all my time goes…
I really don’t have a range. I can tell when they need to stop and do something else. I can also restrict it because of bad behavior… but some days I just let them play all day long… and sometimes I have the attitude that if I make an issue of it the more they’ll want it – they used to play a LOT but now they will kinda self-regulate.
Am I a bad mom? ahaha
First, the disclaimer-I am not a huge video game fan, so I never played my allowed time.
As the oldest of eight, we had a somewhat built in limit, as we all got to have turns. During the summer, we had allotments that we could earn. The rule was that we had to finish our daily chores before we could play with friends/watch tv/play on the computer. TV and computer were limited times, maybe about an hour. We could earn more tv/computer time if we read/did “homework” for an hour (that would give us another hour of tv time).
That is the basic idea. I remember it working, at least for a little while.
My five year old gets a one hour daily limit on screen time – tv, Wii, online games, iPod/iPad all included in that limit. Often she is under that, sometimes we throw it out the window entirely and play Wii all day.
I can play adventure/puzzle type video games for entire weekends at a time, and have done so often before the kids came around, so may have to sympathetically re-evaluate as the kids get older.
I have never really been interested in video games myself. I like scrabble or words with friends.
My 9 year old lives to play any and all gaming systems. The first video game he ever saw turned on some light inside him. I think he was three when he got his first Nintendo whateveryoucallit. He understands them like I can’t explain. He practically learned to read on the instructions. If school were a video game he’d be in college.
I just let him play. As long as he also plays outside, interacts with the family, has other interests, then I don’t care in the summer. I don’t set a limit.
During the school year I let him play after homework is done. We all have sports going on though so there’s rarely much time.
It kind of depends on the day. I try to limit them both to about two hours a day. If my son plays any longer then that he tends to get very moody.
I don’t like video games and my children are 1 and 3, so I’m projecting about their usage, but my policy would probably be that total screen time is what’s important to regulate. So if the child’s total screen time for the day is 2 hours (which will definitely be the upper limit for us — it’s 0 right now), the child can choose to spend those 2 hours in front of whichever screen he or she prefers — Wii, computer, straight TV, handheld, whatever. When the time is up, all screens are off. I think 2 hours daily is reasonable during the summer, but I would probably also allow weekly banking — like, if someone has no screen time on a given day during the week, then they can add those hours to a movie marathon or something on the weekend. But I wouldn’t roll over for more than a week, because that would leave a kid who went to sleepaway camp for a week with 14 hours of banked screen time when they got home!
Wow. That’s complicated. But I am an anti-TV zealot, so you should probably take what I say with a grain of salt.
Hmmmm…we’re going through this, too. This may seem a little excessive, but my son (7) gets to play 3 hours/day at the most. Now, that’s not just 3 hours in one setting, but an hour (or even half hour), legos or outside, more video games, outside play, etc. And some days he doesn’t even want to play that long.
I’m curious to see what everyone else says.
I hate games of any sort. Cards, computer, video, board, etc. (I also am apparently not fun.) :)
We don’t really have a rule or time limit. But we are lucky because my kids will always choose friends over video games and we have a gaggle of children pounding on our door constantly to play. When it is rainy or something, I just watch my oldest. When he gets frustrated and starts muttering under his breath, he needs a break.
Of course, he is not always fond of me making him take a break. So, it is kind of play it by ear. He used to play A LOT more, but now he kind of regulates himself. And screen time is only allowed after study/chore time.
/ramble
Oh, I should mention that while I am all whatever about video games, my kids really don’t watch tv, ever. I will let them watch PBS but that’s it. I banned nickjr in our house and things have been oh so much nicer since then. They still do other things, so it’s what works for us. But I had to give myself permission to let them be little couch potatoes every so often. Sometimes I encourage them to play in the afternoon because I know J will fall asleep on the floor :)
I like video games. I treat video games/tv/movies all lumped as ‘screen time’ and equal.
During school I think an hour on weekdays is okay, MAYBE two on weekends, that’s across the board all screen time though.
Summertime out of school I would probably say 90 minutes – 2 hours.
Also, my son is 4.5, with older children I would probably allow a bit longer.
NIH recommends no more than 2 hours per day of total recreational (i.e. not school-related) screen time (TV, computer, video games) for kids: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/public/heart/obesity/wecan/reduce-screen-time/tips-to-reduce-screen-time.htm
I also like video games, but my eyes start to cross if I play them for more than like an hour or so.
My husband and I are both computer game geeks. We passed that on to our children. So we all live by a timer. Each child gets 40 minutes of computer time a day, split into 20-minute segments. Considering that the others watch whoever is playing, that “40 minutes” actually stretches much longer.
Computer time is a good motivator. We take it away for discipline, and let them earn extra by doing out-of-ordinary jobs (like picking up where the one-year-old got into the magazines).
We also NEED to set a timer for ourselves, but don’t do that as much. :)
We’re pretty flexible. If the timer goes off in the middle of a level, of course they can get to a stopping point. And they manage to get in a lot of un-timed DS play, too.
I can’t praise a timer high enough.
— Mairzy
Ughh! I need some guidance, too. My 6 year old son and his 15 year old sister (my step-dauther, who stays with us all summer) have been like zombies in front of the video games this summer. And he is definitely moodier when he plays lots of games. When I get home from work they are in the same spots they were when I stopped by at lunch. They have a pool right next door at my mother’s house that they’ve hardly spent any time in during the day all summer. That, and we live on about 300 acres of land that they have free range on.
It drives me crazy. My step-daughter goes to a very competitive high school and plays 2 sports, so during the year she spends HOURS a day on homework in addition to softball/soccer practices and games. She also spends the majority of her weekends during the year working on homework. SO — I hate to not allow her to spend her down summer time vegging out to video games, but I HATE all the time they spend there. A six year definitely shouldn’t spend so much time like this in the summer.
By the way — I am SO NOT A FAN of video games.
Laura
Delurking here. My husband is actually a video game designer, so he plays an extreme amount of time and considers it “work research”. Because we’re actively trying to have kids, I’ve given a whole lot of thought to this issue, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not quite a “time” question, it’s a “priority” question. If all homework and chores are done, and child has had some socializing time, then playing games or reading or watching TV is fine. It’s when the chores or friends or homework come AFTER the games that it’s an issue for me.
I think video games are perfectly fine. The other commenters input on total screen time makes sense to me. I recall playing so much Nintendo when I was little that my thumbs started to peel (it was actually due to my believe that I have to press buttons really hard to make them work…I still do that). I don’t remember my mother ever restricting anything other than bedtime by 9 but that was when I was in fourth grade (I am sure it was earlier when I was little but I don’t remember details like that). So anyway, I would say the total screen time of 2 hours or less makes sense, esp during a non-rainy summer day.
I don’t have kids, and I don’t mind video games. My husband plays a night. I don’t have a magical number in my head, but if you are fretting about how long is a good amount, maybe you could set up a system where they are allowed to play the same number of minutes they play outside (or doing chores, or whatever) the day before. So, if they played outside yesterday for one hour, they get to play video games today for one hour.
We don’t have any gaming systems. Our kids are 10, almost 7 and almost 3. Our tv is on all day long (my choice) sometimes with their stuff but mostly we watch DVDs or I catch up on my DVRed shows. I happen to like SpongeBob so we watch that a lot. My boys (10 and almost 7) like to play on the computer. They have an online comics subscription (Marvel), and they visit sites like NickJr, PBSKids, etc. They also have their own JumpStart computer game. In order to play on the computer they have to have a clean room (they share) and all other chores for the day must be done. Then they each get 30 minutes of play. They usually stick around for each other’s time too. And I use it as a punishment (no computer time) when they have gotten too out of control (rare but it happens).
As long as we get outside to play for at least an hour a day and do some reading together, I have no objection to how long she plays wii or watches tv, or plays computer games. Confession: the TV is on NickToons pretty much all day.
We don’t restrict our kids’ screen time, for a couple of reasons:
1. If we give them a “time limit” than they are SURE to use up each and every minute of that time. They even argue at bedtime “but I still have 30 minutes left for today!” and then they try to negotiate to add those minutes to tomorrow etc.
2. In the summer, we are quite busy many days: morning activities, afternoon pool, evening dinner with friends… other days we hardly go anywhere. The busy days outweigh the not-busy days. On the busy days, the tv/computer/video games are not even touched. Again, if we had a time limit, my kids would NEED to be SURE to ALSO get in their Xminutes, along with all of our other activities. W/o a time limit, it doesn’t cross their minds. (Same is true during the school year: school days are busy and very little screen time is used; weekends sometimes they OD a little on tv time.)
3. Our kids are tv-junkies but not so much video game junkies. We have a Wii, but literally it will go WEEKS without being used by anyone. It’s easier to say “after this show is over, the tv needs to get turned off” than to limit video time, I suspect.
4. Screen-time equals peaceful time, so often I let them watch more than my judgement tells me necessary because _I’m_ enjoying the quiet.
5. My kids have excellent imaginations and often prefer playing to screen time. So setting a limit seems like telling them “you NEED to watch 4 hours of tv a day”. I mean, I wouldn’t TELL them that, but that’s what they’d hear.
Currently, my kids do not have a screen-time issue. I honestly don’t know how I’ll handle it when/if they DO become overly-interested… and I suspect it will happen someday.
My son gets a total of 2 hours (in half hour increments) available to watch TV/play video games on non-school days. One the weekends, he rarely even uses one hour, but on weekdays, he will usually watch a half hour show in the morning, watch another one or play some Wii early afternoon, watch another one while I make dinner, and play Star Wars Legos on the Wii with hubby and I in the evening.
I’m kind of anti game/tv for my kid and I don’t like video games for myself. I only have 1 and she’s 4.5. We have a video game system of some type that hubby plays very rarely but the kid isn’t aware that it exists. I limit tv to a few episodes of Tom and Jerry (which she LOVES) every few days and sometimes up to 1.5 hours of T&J on a random day but beyond that no computer and no video games at all. Her cousins are really into games so she has tried a DS but hasn’t shown interest so this is not at all hard to enforce.
Laura – I was just thinking about your comment. I wonder if you could have video game free afternoons. When you come home for lunch you could take the controllers back to work with with you. I suppose the TV is still available though…hmm that’s a tough one since they’re home alone.
I love movies and the computer and video games. I wonder what MY daily screen time is – probably a surprising number.
I count educational computer games as a little better than the wii or whatever latest princess movie my kids like, but I still try to limit screen time to 2 hrs/day in the summer. HOWEVER, I am flexible, so if I’m crabby or lazy or we’ve been out and about for several days in a row and haven’t watched ANY TV or if it’s raining or whatever the reason, I might let it run longer.
I think trying to keep it to a number is useful, but more useful is asking myself if my kids are acting like themselves, playing, reading books, getting some fresh air and exercise, etc. I have a tendency to be rigid and extreme sometimes and realizing that screen time is just a part of our life (neither good nor bad, just there) is helpful for me.
I remember staying up all night playing The Sims (before kids) and it was fun! Going balls out like that can be a good time – we like having Wii Weekends where we play practically constantly!
Mmm, I have no kids so can only share what my parents did (and maybe what I think I would like to do…): until the age of 12 – no TV at all, after that one TV show per week until we were 14, then max. 30 mins per day. At 16 I think we’d just watch whatever we wanted, but not before homework/sports/music practice was done.
This was before computers were actively used for school etc, though, so now I think it makes sense to limit screen-time, maybe 1 hour per day? I also liked Bitts’ idea of ‘banked’ screen time for a week, so that whoever likes movies or so can actually choose to do that.
I wonder how you’d deal with the other kids though, what if they all watch each other – in your family that would mean they’d each get 5 hours of screen-time… complicated!
Video games were the BANE of my existence last summer (when I was home alone with the kids and my son, who was 7, would have played games all day). I had a rule–I had lots of rules–that there was a limit of 2 hours a day of all monitor time, and all chores/ summer homework (reading, mostly)/ exercise had to be done first. I found this rule difficult and frustrating to enforce. My son and I had a LOT of fights. My son seemed to want to do NOTHING but video games, like it was some kind of illness. I felt like a horrible parent. My husband and I argued about it and switched positions constantly. It was exhausting. I hated it.
But things are 98% better. After some big struggles over the school year, I have become absolutely inflexible about the rules. Mostly about the turning off–once the timer goes, or a grownup says to turn it off, or guests come over, it goes OFF, no “just a minutes” or “let me finish this levels” allowed. The player is responsible for monitoring the time and choosing to start the next level accordingly. The end. The throwing of fits leads to a two-day suspension, always, without exception.
At first I felt obnoxious and mean for doing this. However, at this point, the consistency thing is working. We parents present a united front: video games, like ice cream, are good. They’re fun AND they provide necessary mental nutrients. However, they’re only part of a balanced day/ week.
And…we haven’t had a fight on the topic in MONTHS. It’s been blissful.
Uh…I’m not sure if that answered your question or dissolved into an annoying smug rant. I guess my answer: it really depends on the kid (I don’t worry about my daughter at ALL this way), but for us, 2 hours strictly enforced seemed to be the key to family harmony on this subject.
In THEORY, I wouldn’t put a specific cap on time. In practice, however, I have to limit video games significantly because Sam (who is four) has shown that he will sit there like a zombie until he is forcibly dragged away. He will keep playing long after he has stopped having fun. He will scream and tantrum if anyone suggests he do anything else. He does this only after a certain amount of play, so we limit him to that amount (or as close as we can manage, since it’s never exactly the same) and no longer let him play alone EVER (which is hard to enforce because the adults don’t always want to play). I don’t let him play during the week at all.
I love video games and think that screen time is a perfectly okay and even good thing.
There’s a sign at our pediatrician’s office that advises we limit “screen time” (computer, video games, TV, handhelds, etc.) to no more than an hour a day.
There’s also that commercial with well known sports figures advising kids to “get out and play”. They are asking kids to get out and do what’s considered a “heart pumping” activity for at least 60 minutes a day.
Also, schools don’t want kids to fall behind over the summer.
So, keeping all of this in mind this is the way I see it:
Get your kids to run around for at least an hour outside at some point during the day (preferably, all at once). THEN, after lunch while the littles are resting get them to do an hour of some sort of school enrichment (reading, math, whatever).
After those two are accomplished, my vote is to let them do whatever YOU feel is reasonable in the video game department. The way we do it with our oldest is he can play as much video games as he wants on the weekends, but none during the week. Any more than that and he starts acting a bit cuckoo towards everyone. If your kids don’t go the cuckoo route, then adjust as necessary.
Let us know how you handle this. I’m sure we could all learn from different perspectives.
Don’t have kids yet, but anticipate this being a problem as my dh LOVES video and computer games. We have talked about having a rule of thumb about breaking even between Video Game Time (VGT) and other Approved Hobby Time (AHT) – preferably with the latter being something active. I know I have a double standard, because I consider spending hours on end reading to be far more palatable than hours playing video games, but both have legitimate claims of utility – focus, fine motor (VGs), expanding horizons (reading)… whatever. But, anyways, I think that time spent doing something inactive, possibly vegetative, should be balanced with time spent doing something active. Maybe on a weekly basis, with common sense expections (illness, etc).
We’ll see what happens when I actually have kids!
We don’t have a time limit right now. So far my sons (age 6 & 7) seem to get a decent mix of video games, swimming, tv, outside play, movies and book reading over the course of several days.
I’m a lazy mom & I like TV & video games too as does DH. I’m not going to stand over them with a kitchen timer unless I think there is a problem. I keep an eye on their overall activity time over several days and will limit an activity I think they have done excessively & replace with something they have not been doing when needed. But I have no magic number in my head for how many hours a day they should/shouldn’t have.
My older son spent the past two days completely absorbed in a new DS game, today he has mostly been in the pool or running around the yard playing Clone Wars with his brother. But no one has sat & read much of anything yet this week, except me, so we’ll have some reading time after dinner this evening instead of swimming or the Wii.
My general rule is NO TV/Video Games Monday through Thursday and maybe two hours on Friday (total). But I would love to let them do more. But I can’t because my 7 yo son would do nothing but stare at a glowing box all day every day–he’s always been that way. My daughter wants very little to do with them. My daughter easily entertains herself, my son cannot entertain himself to save his life. Sometimes, I have to let him watch TV just to get him out of my hair. I would love it if child psychologists suddenly proved that glowing boxes are actually GOOD for children. MY SON WOULD BE ALL SET.
What I struggle with is how do you juggle going outside and making kids play and get activity while a) avoiding peak sun exposure–my kids are pale, pale, pale (although I am not) and b) playing outside when it’s nearly 100 degree with 100% humidity and too f-ing hot? Like…every single day? It’s already close to 90 by the time we get done with breakfast.
We go to the pool a few evenings a week but we really are anti-sun fanatics and I struggle with them getting in actual outdoor play time during the months of hell in the south.
While everyone else was giving their KIDs a DS for Christmas, I had one on MY wish list. I love my DS, as the dustbunnies under my bed can attest.
My girls are only 4 but one loves, loves, loves to play on the computer. We also have Leapsters and Tag readers. I try to limit her time on there because computer/video games are supposed to count toward that whole two hours of TV a day thing that “doctors” recommend and no normal mom sticks to.
Computer time is a treat that they get for good behavior during whatever errands we did in the morning or when I need them to stop fighting with each other because, omg, I’m on the phone and just need a minute of silence. Plus, it’s not like they’re playing “Call of Duty” or anything.
In the summer, on days we’re home, we usually try to aim for a morning of no TV/video games/computer then from 1-4 they can do whatever they want.
It’s also silly but I think that the TYPE of video game should also be factored into how much time is appropriate for it. ie – Wii is more physical and multiple people play together; both valuable things. Whereas a handheld game you hole up in your room to play might be less worthy of unlimited time.
I’m interested to hear what you end up deciding for your family!
I’m not a total stickler, but I aim for 2 hours a day of screen time. I don’t really time it though–just if it seems like it’s getting to that point I will suggest that we go read books together, or go out on a walk, or something. We don’t have issues surrounding it though, as my oldest is only 6 and only knows about one game–a demolition derby car game.
My husband doesn’t play and doesn’t see the appeal. Before the children came I played, but could easily set them aside. Our thoughts on TV mirror games.
My three year old has yet to watch a single television show. No games on the tv. Although he is allowed approximately thirty minutes a day with the spelling and math games I’ve put on my iPhone. I don’t set a timer or anything and he certainly isn’t allowed them every day, but when I give in and let him play with my phone it’s for what feels right and that’s usually right around the 30 minute mark.
Not a martyr or a perfect parent. Just someone who doesn’t think television has anything to offer a developing child.
I am not into video games, but my husband and 7.5 year old son are. Generally during the week we used to not have any screen time for him because we both worked full time, wouldn’t get home until after 5:00 then had the homework, dinner, reading before bed scramble to deal with because my son is a really early riser, so bedtime is early. Since he turned 3, my son has been allowed between 1-2 hours of screen time on week-ends (mainly, I confess so my husband or I had time to have some freakin’ coffee – see earlier comment about him being an early riser). However, my husband was laid off in April and has been a SAHD. I notice with this before our weather FINALLY got nice, my son was definitely being allowed more screen time. My husband often let him play an hour or so while he was feeding the baby or something. I’d get uptight about it, but now that our weather is nice, my son doesn’t even ask to play on the computer or do Wii – he’d rather be outside with friends all day.
SO, when we both worked, screen time was minimal except on the week-ends. Now that there is a SAHD so we are not both crazed in the evenings, there is more screen time allowed if it’s wanted. However, we don’t allow it after dinner or close to bedtime because my son, who I love like the most precious flower, becomes a total asshole when he has screen time in the later evenings. Ass. Hole. Totally not worth it.
I’m pretty sure I’m risking being a pariah when I admit that not only do we not have a limit for screen time, but I encourage Maddie to play with her leapster.
Here in TX, it’s regularly 100 degrees so outside activities are pretty limited. And with an infant in the mix, I’m not available to play with her as often as we’d like. Therefore, a movie on the TV or some leapster time is great.
Maddie’s a very active kid and will choose to do other things over watch TV or play leapster, so I’m not too worried about turning her into a couch potato.
ACK, I’m commenting again even after that HUGE comment. I just wanted to add a point I thought of after reading MarieGreen’s comment – I have never told my son that he has a limit of X time on the computer because I suspect if I did, he’d likely insist on using it. Rather, I keep and eye on the clock and let him know within a few minutes when it will be time to stop. Or I say after this show it’s time to stop. He is not really aware of any particular time limit. I have it for my own internal tracking purposes.
I am so glad you asked this!! Can’t wait to read all the other comments.
My son is nearly 6 and loves his DS. He goes to daycare “summer camp”, so I know that he gets a pretty healthy day of morning field trip, lunch, and outside playtime, but otherwise there, he likes to play his DS. I assume it’s around 3 hours a day. And I let him play up to about 1 more hour at home.
I feel like it’s excessive, but then another part of me says, “It’s Summer!” and “He’s a kid!”
I’m not a gamer, myself, but my husband IS. Sometimes he and AJ also play together on the Wii or Xbox. So it’s a lot, altogether.
I feel like I should also make clear that during the schoolyear, we did NOT allow gaming except on weekends.
My rules are: As long as my son (6, almost 7) is also choosing to do other activities without my intervention(like play with his toys or go outside – or during the school-year: Homework), then he’s not spending too much time playing video games. I enjoy playing Mario type video games myself, so I am definitely not anti-video game and it can actually be a fun bonding experience for us :)
I knew a family growing up that had a set amount of TV hours for their kids per week. The kids were able to use the hours at their own discretion but once the hours were up, they were gone even if it was only Tuesday. Would this work for your kids?
i’m 45 years old, and i once played “the sims” for 14 hours. please don’t tell my son or grandkids.
My nine year old is allowed an hour on weekdays and unlimited time on the weekends. I’m thinking of cutting back on that weekend time, but probably not until school starts.
My four year old is allowed fifteen minutes daily and she can also watch her brother play his games.
I hate video games in all their forms. With four brothers growing up, they were all fighting over and playing on the old atari 1000 ALL DAY LONG. I feel like, now that one of them has died, that I missed out on KNOWING them because they were gone to the world in their games.
Hubs, on the other hand, has a very different point of view. Video games help hand eye coordination, strategy, and during the depressed teenage years they help drown out everything. He loves video games, though he did cut back a LOT for my sake.
That said, I’m an advocate for my mom’s method of parenting a jumble of kids: everything equal. I would create a schedule with times blocked out for the kids, and they are in charge of the television during that hour or two or whatever. They can watch friggin’ mr. Rodgers if they’re one of the two that doesn’t play games, or they can play their game without the whining and “It’s MY turn”ing.
My mom did this with everything, we each had a laundry day, she would portion out cereal so that the brothers wouldn’t eat it all, she would ensure we all had the same amount of presents and treats and everything. It helped make the unfairness of siblings a little more fair, or at least there were less fights because there was no discussion about whose turn it was.
My husband and I play video games, we don’t have any kids, but in our very early 30’s we find that 90 minutes to 2 hours is more than enough for us. After that the muscles get kinda hinky and the eyes go a little wonky. My younger brother actually started having seizures a few years ago (he was 14is). The docs said it was from playing too long and being tired while doing so. I guess I’d say no more than 2-3 hours a day during vacation.
My stepson – 17 years (going into his 2nd year of college) & my 12 year old (going into 7th grade) will play all day. 17 year old does online games where he is on there w/his friends and they talk to eachother w/headsets. The 12 year old will play xbox (online) against other people. Neither of them watch tv – just these games. I try to drag them away, but given the choice – they will sit there all day playing (some days).
I don’t play any games (neither does their fathers).
I figure they’re young & they’ll grow out of it…or when they get their downtime – they can do what they want (most of the time).
In my house (my daughter is 9), there isn’t so much a “time limit” as there is “viewing times”. In the summer, she’s allowed screen time from when she wakes up (usually 8am) until 10am. By that time, I’ve finally woken up with 800 cups of coffee, and we’ve had breakfast, etc. Screen time isn’t allowed again until 8pm, when we usually watch a few family shows, have a bed snack and she’s in bed by 9pm to read for at least 30 minutes. I make exceptions when it’s a rainy day or if I’m sick, but for the most part, that’s how it is.
My brother does it different, he has a 14 year old son and he starts each day with 1 hour of screen time already allowed. Then, for every half hour of yard work or house work that he does, he earns an additional half hour of screen time up to 2 hours. But my brother also takes away screen time for bad behavior, etc.
Right now my son is a year old, so his screen time is zero, so this is total projection, so probably not that helpful. I’d tends towards ballpark of 1 hr total recreational screen time limit for the day, though I would reevaluate as the kid gets older (maybe 2 hrs is more reasonable then), and I wouldn’t count listening to music on an ipod (or operating a coffee maker with an LCD, ha).
Now that I think about it, 1 hour might be hard, because movies tend to be 1.5 hours… so maybe that’s a natural cutoff, and a good case for at least allowing some within-week rollover.
I would also not count using a computer for academic purposes (like writing a paper for school or researching something).
I am not at ALL into video or computer games, but my husband definitely is, so I have a feeling this will become more and more of an issue as our kids get older. I do get freaked out sometimes watching kids play video games… they look like zombies, to me. It seems almost worse than watching TV, because at least then the kids can still run around, play, and interact a bit (mine do at least.) HOWEVER. Our pediatrician actually ADVOCATES a certain amount of video game time as being healthy because it’s shown to improve hand/eye coordination. Like, at least an hour a day, if the kid enjoys it, and maybe more if the parent sees fit. So… that’s all I’ve got to go on.
Neither of my daughters (8.5 and 6 years old)has shown the slightest interest in video games or whatever, and I’m delighted as I’ve never even touched a PlayStation or Nintendo or whatever in my entire life. And we’re too broke to buy a Wii (plus our aged TV would probably blow out if we tried to use it for games or anything). The girls occasionally watch DVDs – but only when it’s raining, when there’s no homework or if they’ve both been outside all afternoon. At the moment, we’re in a High School Musical phase which is driving me insane as I can’t get those horribly catchy songs out of my head.
But screen time stuff really isn’t an issue here. An hour a day and more on non school days seems like a helluva lot to me, I must say…
Let me preface this by saying there are days when my kids watch too much TV. They don’t care too much about video games or the computer (we don’t have a Wii). My understanding is that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than 2 hours of “screen time” (TV/Video/Computer). So that’s my guideline. I think that makes sense in general but also feel that there are some days when popping in a movie for a couple hours isn’t such a bad thing. I also think that the younger the child, the more important it is to limit screen time. All in all, it’s better for babies and kids to interact with the real world/real people where all of their sense are engaged.
My brilliant sister-in-law had the rule that a child could earn one minute of computer or video game time for every minute of piano practice they put in. It was entirely up to them how much time they got.
That being said, I am sympathetic to the irresistible lure of one more level…….
My rule is that my kids aren’t allowed to watch TV or play video games before 5 p.m. and we eat dinner at about 6:45, so in theory they would not play/watch more than an hour and forty-five minutes a day. Which seems like a lot, still. Sometimes, depending on how the day goes, I’ll make an exception and let them play more.
And, yes, I do like video games.
We’ve always been pretty cautious with the screen time for our kids, generally feeling that less is better than more… No specific time limits, but often there will be no TV/DVDs/video games for a few days at a time.
Last week, though, I let them spend about two hours watching the original Batman series on Youtube. Oh, and they watched some Inspector Gadget on Hulu. And then they spent hours and HOURS making lego Batmobiles, and having lego battles, and wearing their capes, and making up new superheros with fabulous powers, and taping logos on their chests that they made out of construction paper…
So… Some screen time isn’t all bad, certainly. Gives a little fuel for new imaginative play sometimes.
I have a 4 yo and almost 2 yo. We don’t have video games but during the school year she was watching no more than 30 min of tv a day. Sometimes no tv. Now we’ve been a little more lenient. since it’s summer we’ve done no tv during the day but letting her watch a movie some nights, so that is 90 min. As some other people said, I just try to watch her intake and if she seems like she’s dying to watch tv, that’s when I know to cut back. Tv should be a option for fun, not feel like a necessity to them. also, she does not know about the 30 min time limit, she’s young enough that I can get away with just distracting her when the time limit is up. Hope this helps.
Okay, here’s the thing… I’m kind of funny about kids and video games because a) I don’t want another electronic thing to stress over and b) I worry more about the content of the games than the actual time… I have seen from computer usage and exposure to other people’s video games that Harper would so easily become obessesed and it might be an issue to get her to turn them off. (Michael, thus far, does not care about screens.)
But I feel like I should also say that my video game “ban” is not exactly self-righteous because we watch a lot of TV. My husband and I both like TV and movies and watch it and Harper loves TV. I know she has watched television more than is recommended, but at five she is active, reading, has a HUGE attention span, and a great imagination. I don’t think the television has hurt her, you know?
We don’t have any rules about TV other than what they watch and I’m actually VERY particular about what TV shows she watches. I cannot believe the stuff she learns from TV. She doesn’t spend much time on the computer, but that is purely selfish on my part because I don’t want to argue about who gets to use it.
If anything, Harper’s fine motor skills are weak so maybe she should be playing video games. :-)
I will say this, when she starts to argue about turning the TV off or won’t listen/do what I ask because the TV is on that’s when I know we’ve been watching too much and I need to consciously pull back a bit – that’s the closest thing to a limit I have.
As a teacher I only stress about TV/video games when I hear parents say things like, “I know we should read w/ him but he’d really rather be playing video games.” That is a quote from a parent of a struggling reader in first grade who really needed some at home support. When video games take priority over school work, that’s probably a problem. I am also pretty strongly opposed to TV’s in kids’ rooms, especially grade school kids.
Is your head exploding from all the opinions yet?
I think the whole Tv/video game thing also has to take into account the number of kids you have — I’ve got 3 (5.5, 4, and 2)and I’m pregnant with number 4 and work part-time from home. So yes, they watch quite a bit of TV in the afternoon, when I’m exhausted. And when the baby comes and I’m breatfeeding, the TV will be on then, too.
Video games/PC games we limit to a vague extent — like trying to not have it every day, or saying ‘it’s your brother’s turn now’ after a vague amount of time (no timers or anything. I do limit the kinds of games they play (like no shooting/fighting games) so I can soothe myself by saying it’s slightly educational.
TOTALLY honest here….
We have a rule with the oldest, who is 8. 1 hour. But that is very loose, and sometimes I will let her play during naptime so the little ones can sleep and that is longer than an hour.
We never fight about her needing more time- more like on days when she is really busy she will get upset and ask me to schedule in her one hour of DS time and that irks me. I also will not let her take it outside to play it- I insist on her running and playing outside.
The 3 year old got a gently used leapster for her birthday and calls it her DS. She plays with it occasionally, but has no clue what she is doing, so I do not really pay attention to the time limit for her.
I have video games on my computer (hidden object games) and we have a Wii, but we are very busy during spring/summer/fall so we really only play the Wii in the winter time.
Um in the summer time, I let him play as much as he wants as long as he’s done his chores, takes breaks for food (which means an actual sit down at the table with the parents dinner) showers and occasionally goes outside and hangs out with friends or skates.
My kid is 15 though and we’ll play Lego Harry Potter together (I’m ADDICTED) and he’ll even get board of playing himself.
I don’t have kids, so I’m not an expert. I think it depends on the kids a lot. My husband didn’t have a tv growing up and didn’t miss it, while I on the other hand was totally addicted. Now we have a tv for DVD video only and will watch movies together about once a week. I, however, love computer games and play for hours even after it is fun and am determined to win! I guess what I’m saying is you have to know your kids and know what their limit is. Do they get cranky and irritable, can they quit on their own, do they seem tense, are they having fun? It’s hard when you have more than one kid because it may be different for each one and then how do you keep it fair? (Bedtimes as a kid were like that).
no kids here, but this is what my in-laws do (and have always done) with the nephews. they get to play video games / computer games / watch tv for as long as they read. they read for two hours, they get to play on the computer for two hours. they are great readers now (aged 9 and 13) and i take my hat off to their parents for pulling this through. there were tears and fights and it was not easy!
There’s such good stuff in these comments.
My kids are wee little (2 1/2 and 5 months), but my philosophy on games/TV is thus: the most important things are being outside when possible, getting exercise, and spending time as a family. Everything else comes after that. So if we’ve had a day full of other activities and had some time to talk with each other, then they can zone out for a limited amount of time. I hope I don’t have to set a actual time limit, but my daughter seems to do best with firm boundaries so maybe I will.
Of course, right now that’s just a philosophy. Who knows how it will play out when they are older?
There are a lot of comments so I only read, like, the first 2. I would let my kids play about 2 hours a day I guess, but they are younger and still pretty easily overstimulated. On a bad day I would let them play more and not feel bad about it.
PS – we have a wii and no other gaming systems. I don’t like video games that much so we probably only play 1-3 times a month. I’m sure that will change as they get older slash figure out how to work the tv and wii. hehe
For me, this depends on whether they’re playing alone or with someone else. If Patrick is playing alone, not more than an hour or so at a time. If he’s playing with one of us, or a friend, I don’t restrict it, because it’s the same as playing any other game together. I only buy multi-player-capable games, too, so there’s no reason for him to be by himself playing for long periods. The DS I *do* have to monitor, because he’d play that for three days straight if he gets a new game, so I just watch and see how he does. If he’s able to walk away, and isn’t getting grumpy, then I let it go, especially if he has a new game, because he will generally get over the newness and not be so obsessed without me saying much anyway. I *love* video games, so I totally get the desire to play all the time. We just got Harry Potter Lego, and it’s awesome!
For my 9yo boy, we lump all screen time together (TV, computer, DS) and the rule is that on school days no more than 30 minutes per day (and only after homework’s done), on weekends about 1 hour per day, though sometimes a little longer by special permission.
(And if we’re on a car trip, obviously all bets are off and it’s DVDs and Nintendo DS with short breaks to look out the window for a little while.
My thought (theoretically) is that as long as they have a mix of things that they are doing, time isn’t so important. For instance, they should play outside for as many minutes as they play video games. Or they can “earn” video game time by doing physically active stuff. Balance is more important than numbers, imho.
I played Atari and then Nintendo for awhile as a kid, but I was never as into video games as my oldest son (9 years) is now. I started playing World of Warcraft a couple years ago, and got REALLY into it, though, so I kindof get where he’s coming from.
We have a limit of one hour a day for weekdays during the school year, and he can only play once he’s done everything else that needs to be done (getting dressed in the morning, homework and dinner when he gets home, etc.).
We had a limit of two hours a day on weekends, but that’s kindof gone out the window over the summer. We talked about letting him earn video game time, up to two hours or so, by reading first. But he loves to read, and we didn’t want to make that part of a punishment/reward type dealio. So, we’ve basically been ignoring it, and he’s played as much as he wants… But, he’s not at home all day either, so that limits his time by circumstance…
We didn’t have a tv from February 2005 to November 2008 (bought one the day of the election :)), and it was fan-freakin-tastic. But… we have four kids, and geeeeeeez… SOMETIMES I NEED TO TAKE A FREAKING SHOWER.
Also… totally agree with Sam. We probably should do the “earning” thing but with stuff like physical activity (our oldest is already on a swim team and does swim meets, etc., so it’d be easy for him).
i aim for about 2 hours max of tv/computer time. some days it might be a little more, a lot of days end up being a lot less. if they are really into a game and haven’t played for a few days, i might let it go longer. but more than two hours usually seems to backfire in the end…
our kids 4 and 6 get no daily screen time-we do watch a movie about once a week-we don’t have cable or satellite we just don’t and it’s really no big deal
our oldest son is 17, he was allowed 1 hour per day except weekends when it was longer how much longer idk-it’s been a while, he just kind of quit when girls got interesting-my husband and decided we didn’t want the younger so addicted to games so we decided not to let them play-eventually they will see them and want them but for now they are little kids who play in the dirt pile and ride bikes all day
I’m piping in NOT to sound holier than thou just to give you the other end of the spectrum which I am assuming will piss some off but whatevs
I’m late to this conversation, but figured I’d tack mine on anyway.
My son is 12 and he can play video games for 2 hours a day. He usually uses his up in one 2-hour block. He has to decide whether he wants to spend it on the Play Station or the Wii or the Computer. It’s 2 hours total, not per system. That’s a loophole we had to close fast!
He also has to read at least 20 minutes for every hour he plays video games. And this reading is completely separate from any other required reading he has to do – for example, he’s doing a summer reading program where he has to read at least 15 minutes a day and that can’t come out of his video game reading.
I keep checking back to make sure no one’s called me out as That Horrible Mom Who Lets Her Kid play X number of hours of video games!
Obvs., some guilt. Enough that I’m not even re-revealing the number in the above paragraph. Sigh.
after they do their chores, i have a tendency to just let them play as long as they arent fighting and harassing me for stuff. then i can have hours of me time.
*hides under rock*