Henry had his one-year check-up this morning. I was a little worried he was going to get a Bad Baby sticker: he still doesn’t pull to standing or even TRY to pull to standing, and he’s only just starting to get onto his hands and knees (he army crawls).
I don’t know why I worry, since ALL my kids have been like this, and in fact Henry is earlier than some of the others: Rob didn’t crawl until a year old, and Elizabeth didn’t pull to standing until 14 months. And sure enough, the pediatrician says Henry is well within normal range.
I actually DON’T worry much about their development; what I worry about is OTHER PEOPLE worrying. “I’ll bet he’s walking all over the place now!” they say. And then when I say, “Oh….uh, no, he’s just crawling,” they get a funny expression and darty eyes, like, “OOoooo, dear, that’s not good. Should one of us…tell her so?”
Have you noticed this: People talk about the milestones their babies reach early, but they’re a lot quieter about the ones they reach “well within normal range”—also known as “late.” A baby who walked at 10 months? Everyone including the deli clerk has heard ALLLLL about it. The babies who walk at 17 months are just as normal, but we don’t need to bore the deli clerk with all the little details.
This greatly affects people’s perceived statistics: if you hear a lot about babies walking at 10 months, 11 months, 12 months, you might even think it’s SCARY and ALARMING and NEUROLOGICALLY SIGNIFICANT if a baby isn’t walking at 13 months. And yet it isn’t: none of my kids have walked before 14 months, and one didn’t walk until 17 months, and all of them have been still been within normal range for those things. And this is why I am telling you about it (you over there—quit yawning!): to improve the perceived statistics.
Is walking sorta like first periods or getting engaged? . . .when all your friends are doing it and it becomes a “competitive sport”? Is life ALWAYS going to be just like high schoool?! Well, PFT! to that!
I know I didn’t walk until I was well past 1 year old and I can walk just fine now . . . and I even had a pretty intense figure skating career going for a while there as a pre-teen (how’s THAT for physical coordination!).
Oh, I wouldn’t know about this because MY child has been early for EVERYTHING. Then again, he is a certified genius.
(Note: This is written with a joking tone, because you are making an excellent point.)
(Further note: The “genius” classification was certified by yours truly, and I am possibly a teensy bit biased.)
(Final note: Claiming he is early for “everything” is probably a bit of an overstatement.)
I feel ashamed. I can’t even remember what month my daughter started walking (or any other milestones, actually)! We moms like to get competitive and have the greatest super baby EVER. When our kids turn out to be just…well…normal, suddenly we don’t brag as much. And why are strangers so interested in our children? They are never going to see them again, so why do they care if he’s walking or not? Get a grandkid, people!
Yes! And that goes for walking AND talking.
He sounds perfect. I know that Elise is the worlds laziest baby and that is why she only sat at 8 months and isn’t crawling or pulling up yet. However, we were already involved in EI and PT with D, so why not, right?
Henry sounds awesome to me.
As a mom of an almost sixteen month old who’s not walking, thank you.
Also, how did I just realize that Henry is only a year old?
You have a ONE year old and four other kids? Um, the lack of complaining that you are doing is truly astonishing. You’re totally my hero.
My kid started walking at 14 months 2 weeks ~ you know how I remember? She took her first-real-honest-to-God-on-her-own-steps on Christmas day. 8 in a row. Then she busted her tail & cried for 30 minutes. She really wanted to get to those new toys!!
The rest of her milestones … not so clear. I know she hit most of them on time, or a few weeks later. She never did more than the combat crawl (couldn’t get that fat belly off the floor!) … Other than that – I’m a bad first time Mommy. I just never drove myself insane worrying about when she would hit a milestone. I wanted her to stay little for as long as possible, call me crazy. STAY A BABY HENRY!!!!!
Hollylynne ~ the competition isn’t even a joke. Sorority engagements have NOTHING on a Playground Mommies and their competitive spirits!!
My husband works with two women whose daughters are a month apart and is constantly laughing at the way they try to out-early each other. I love that you posted about this, because it seems that parents now get so worked up if their baby isn’t always on the early side of normal.
I read (yet another) article the other day about how this generation is so much more focused on their children (helicopter parents, even the losing team getting trophies, etc) and this just seems like one of the earliest manifestations of people congratulating themselves on the ‘accomplishments’ of their offspring.
Don’t worry Swistle, I’m sure Henry will be walking in time for his immersion Cantonese classes and violin lessons! Hahaha.
Thank you! This is kind of like how all of the people who have babies who sleep perfectly through the night, every night, from two months on tell everyone about their magical baby and all of the magical things they did that caused the baby to sleep perfectly. Those of us poor saps who have COMPLETELY NORMAL babies who wake at night until an older age are left wondering what we’ve done wrong. So I ask the perfect-sleeper parents, and the answer is always, “Oh, we feed him carrots at three pm, then we don’t feed him again until seven pm, and then he sleeps perfectly. Why don’t you try that?”
My son, who is in his 20’s now, never crawled (he’d scoot around on his butt) and never walked until he was 16 months old then he got up and walked like he was practicing behind all our backs. Both of my girls walked early but my son has always been the most athletic one in the family after a “slow” start.
Shoot, I’ve been glad my two boys haven’t walked till 17 months! That’s a few more months before I need to sit in the corner and suck my thumb. Now we’ll see what my daughter does… I hope she takes after her brothers!
This totally fits in with the baby names blog post about popular names. The Swistle mantra seems to be: STOP WORRYING ABOUT STATISTICS.
yup. i had one walk at 9 months (SHOOT ME!!! she had NO business being upright at that age) and one who couldn’t be bothered until he was 15 months. ech. he got where he needed to go without the added inconvenience of falling down.
whatevs. ;-)
If it helps…
My niece did not walk until 18 months and she is totally normal.
Both my kids did not even try to walk until 12 months and they seem fine to me.
Early walkers are overrated anyway! I would have given anything for an extra six months of limited mobility :)
I think babies can only concentrate on learning one major thing at a time, whether it’s walking, talking, fine motor skills, whatever. Everyone I know that had an early walker also had a late talker or vice versa. But you’re right, no one ever mentions the later thing.
You are always so level-headed and wise about these things Swistle!
I TRY not to worry, but it’s hard when you get those wide-eyed, silent responses when you tell people “Nope! Not walking yet!”
Normal, schnormal. A given child is that given child. Now if he were 4 years old and not walking, that would be a different matter…
Delurking to say, when I have moms of eight-nine-ten-months-old babies tell me their babies are walking all over the place, I always say I’m so sorry to hear that. :) And I mean it!
Both my boys walked at 14 months, but I tried hard to slow down the second boy, as the memory of his brother’s walking accidents and increased height advantage was still alarmingly fresh in my mind.
Well, this reminds me of my newest treasure on the Reader:
Best Parent Ever.
A sampling:
“The Best Parent Ever is better than you because their child is in the 95th percentile. The 95th percentile of what, you ask? Whatever the pediatrician says!”
AND
“The Best Parent Ever is better than you because they have a flatter stomach. It’s that simple”.
Ha! HAHA!
Swistle. I cannot tell you timely this is for me. Not that it’s all about ME, but thank you for this.
I’ve been so worried about Emmett, cannot seem to stop, and it is too difficult for me to talk about. It is ultimately just SILLY. Emmett is a happy, content, and NORMAL child. He cannot get from laying to sitting. He cannot roll from belly to back. He’s far from getting up on his knees. He’s 10.5 months old.
I have three friends and relatives with babies Henry’s age (6 weeks older than E). They all started crawling early, talking early, signing early… They are so much fun to be around, but I get this sick feeling in my stomach. Obviously OBVIOUSLY I love Emmett always and no matter what and for who he is. It’s that I want to make sure I’m doing right by him. I’m afraid I am failing, and therefore HE is not thriving. SILLY, right? GOD, why can’t I stop worrying. Also, Calum was slow (normal slow) too! So what’s the big deal, Self?
Sorry about the comment. I should probably just write a damn post myself but I feel worried and silly both at the same time. So instead I’m just spilling all over your comments. Thank you.
oh man, did i need to read this post. my peanut is gonna be one at the end of june and i keep hearing this little voice in the back of my head, “should she be pulling up by now?” she does it on occasion but then she gets weighed down by the babybooty and sits back down – she can’t be bothered to even think about cruising around or walking.
just this week, she did the traditional hand & knee crawl after months of just rolling/scooting/whatever-ing around. i talked to my ped about this and i actually got a PSH and a hand wave when i asked if she was okay. of course that was at her 9-month appointment so, yeah.
tell me this, oh wise swistle: your late walkers, are they athletic now? i was a realllllly clumsy kid and was never comfortable moving my body in a sporty way. i was also an early talker/late walker which seems to be what we’re seeing in deven. i’m just worried that late gross motor development might mean clumsiness/uncomfortable gym class later.
can you predict the future for a kid you don’t know and make me feel better? thanks.
(also, wow – this is a long comment.)
I got tired of all the questions about the twins~one walked at 10 1/2 months and the other not until 14 1/2 months. People thought it was weird. But the one who walked at 14 1/2 months says a whole lot more than the other. So it all balances out. Yes, having kids is like being back in high school. What a drag.
This is so true, and yet I *still* find myself overexplaining to the nurse about my third child when I should totally know better.
“She’s rolling over?”
“Yeah! Um, well, she rolls onto her side? But not all the way over? So I guess…no.”
Jen (Daily Dose)- It’s hard to say. We’re a VERY UNATHLETIC family (full of computer programmers? SHOCKER!). But none of the kids are exceptionally uncoordinated or clumsy, and they like playing catch, and they do well in gym class and so on.
OMG I SO SO SO agree. My son’s learned to walk WAY to early & freaked me right the heck out (I am not even going to tell you… okay 9 months if you must know) There is also the fact that he had a total lack of ability to talk until almost 22 months! He is fine… and there are days when I think WHY DID I WANT him to talk so badly?!?!
He just liked the physical side of things and did not have much to say (ah probably because we nursed until 20 months and literally the moment we weaned he started talking… fixated much?!)
There are other things I am sure he was ahead, behind or average on then other kids and really who gives a rat’s hiney!?
Here’s a good example of this: we had friend’s tell us that they were “JEALOUS” that our son walked so early, that their child did not walk until 13 months maybe?! I was like ‘what do you think my son is going to be Einstein because he walked earlier then your child?!’
I was so irate to think that it was some sort of competition at that age ALREADY! I try not to talk about milestones to people too much any more because of that competitive feeling.
And really it is walking… I mean WALKING and they are BABIES! Will the madness EVER end??!?!?
OMG I SO SO SO agree. My son’s learned to walk WAY to early & freaked me right the heck out (I am not even going to tell you… okay 9 months if you must know) There is also the fact that he had a total lack of ability to talk until almost 22 months! He is fine… and there are days when I think WHY DID I WANT him to talk so badly?!?!
He just liked the physical side of things and did not have much to say (ah probably because we nursed until 20 months and literally the moment we weaned he started talking… fixated much?!)
There are other things I am sure he was ahead, behind or average on then other kids and really who gives a rat’s hiney!?
Here’s a good example of this: we had friend’s tell us that they were “JEALOUS” that our son walked so early, that their child did not walk until 13 months maybe?! I was like ‘what do you think my son is going to be Einstein because he walked earlier then your child?!’
I was so irate to think that it was some sort of competition at that age ALREADY! I try not to talk about milestones to people too much any more because of that competitive feeling.
And really it is walking… I mean WALKING and they are BABIES! Will the madness EVER end??!?!?
OMG I SO SO SO agree. My son’s learned to walk WAY to early & freaked me right the heck out (I am not even going to tell you… okay 9 months if you must know) There is also the fact that he had a total lack of ability to talk until almost 22 months! He is fine… and there are days when I think WHY DID I WANT him to talk so badly?!?!
He just liked the physical side of things and did not have much to say (ah probably because we nursed until 20 months and literally the moment we weaned he started talking… fixated much?!)
There are other things I am sure he was ahead, behind or average on then other kids and really who gives a rat’s hiney!?
Here’s a good example of this: we had friend’s tell us that they were “JEALOUS” that our son walked so early, that their child did not walk until 13 months maybe?! I was like ‘what do you think my son is going to be Einstein because he walked earlier then your child?!’
I was so irate to think that it was some sort of competition at that age ALREADY! I try not to talk about milestones to people too much any more because of that competitive feeling.
And really it is walking… I mean WALKING and they are BABIES! Will the madness EVER end??!?!?
Jaci- I had to look it up. I write it down or I’d never remember. I’d thought my daughter walked at 18 months, and I had no idea when she or Edward or William had crawled or pulled to standing. RECORD-KEEPING. THAT is a strength in our unathletic family!
Elizabeth- It’s because he looks like an 8-year-old street urchin! Or at least, I think so.
Marilyn & Catnip- OMG I know, right?? Why would we want them mobile EARLIER?
Jess Loolu- Well, or PERCEIVED statistics! I LIKE regular statistics!
Erin- Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that! Henry can’t get to a sitting position either. Also: one only needs to look at Emmett to see a GLOWING THRIVING HEALTHY child.
Nowheymama- I think a big part of the problem is the way they PHRASE THE QUESTION. They’re always saying, “He’s pulling to standing?” when what they SHOULD say is “Does he pull to standing?”
I love this post. The whole “my kid is better than your kid” thing….as parents we of course think our kids are the best, but rubbing their triumphs in everyone’s face? Sheesh.
My kids both walked around 13 months. Lucy never crawled–she did the army crawl too. Lucy had only 2 teeth at one year of age, and 4 by the time she hit 18-months. Bud still pees in a pull up every single night, and he is 4.5.
We don’t talk a lot about the non-milestones, do we?
My biggest worry is comparison between my own children. So far, aside from the potty training, Lucy has pretty much mirrored her brother. What if Olivia blows them out of the water? Or what if she is an underachiever like her mama?
Yes, this IS good timing. We just had a 1 year visit, too, and we had to say, “No, he’s not walking yet,” as well as, “No, he doesn’t even really say Mama or Dada yet.” Our doctor is usually pretty chill about these things, but he made me worry a little when he said that kids who are one are “usually” saying around 3 words other than Mama and Dada. I had to remind myself that, even though our little guy isn’t talking or signing yet, he communicates, and I’m sure he’s fine.
Ugh, I do hate the competitive nature so many moms have. Can’t we just be happy that our kids are healthy?
Yep, every kiddo has their own little timetable. I really don’t care that my boy is considered an “early walker” or whatever, I was just thrilled that I actually saw it happening. Of course now he’s breaking our hearts because he looks like he’s ready to take a step…and then he doesn’t. It’s very anticlimatic around here!
But you know what I have been worried about? That he couldn’t figure out his sippy cup. I was convinced he was going to have to ride the short bus, so to speak, because he couldn’t grasp the dang sippy cup. Truly, what a silly thing to worry over. He did figure it out the other day, and I was completely relieved.
As for competitive percentile stuff, I never even ask the doctor for percentiles. I hate percents anyway. This is the woman who doesn’t know her own child’s APGAR scores. We were a little too busy worrying about other things when he was born! And I always forget to ask when we go for our well baby visits. I do very well to remember how much he weighs and how long he is, thankyouverymuch.
Oh I am all over this post! Amen Hallelujah! When Claire was in the “normal” range for talking our doctor made sure to note in her chart to watch for autism. Not to freak the parents out or anything… but your child may be mentally handicapped because of her normality. Nice. I’ve stopped worrying about “milestones” if there’s a problem later, we’ll tackle it. But freaking out over differences in advancement is ridiculous I say. Bah to the Deli man!
Didn’t walk until 17 months? Where do I get one of those kids? Seriously! My son army crawled at 5 months first steps at 7 months (walked full time at 12 months) and figured out how to climb stairs at 9 months.
I was jealous of my friend who has a boy who walked at 18 months. The freedom she had….!!!!
I seriously WISH for a non-mobile child this time around – and you can be sure that I will do NOTHING to encourage mobility!
One of the things I’m not proud of as a parent is that I am (in my private thoughts) very competitive. Or I used to be when my first two were babies. Lucky for me (and the sanity of anyone around me, and for my kids), the twins were early at everything, and THEN I was stuck with TWO mobile children. Ohhh, how my life would have been easier if they hadn’t walked so soon. I look back now, and I see how silly it all was, and I wish I had read a post like this then, when I didn’t yet get it.
With my 3rd child, I was/am sooooo much more chillaxed. THANK GOD.
Anyway, you are very right. There is a very wide range of “normal” and nearly all babies fall in there somewhere. We as mamas need to hear that more often.
But don’t feel bad The Dictator may have walked early but he didn’t sleep through the night until he was 18 months old. And I am a Sleep Specialist who knows all the damn tricks. Go Figure.
Feel free to cry a little tear for Stewart and I over that one…
People always fretted about Addy being so small (tenth percentile until she was a year old) and about the fact that she wasn’t even crawling by her first birthday, but it never bothered ME much. Eli, however, just started crawling yesterday, and I remembered today why having a mobile baby is nothing to be overanxious for!
So funny. In an actually funny way and a “what are we thinking” way too. I often get the cocked head when I say my 22 month old isn’t putting words together yet (except for an exceptionally cute “ta too” for thank you). Why? Why? WHY? I’m not the least bit worried!!
Craziness!
Seriously, when did it become such a competition? I mean, every baby does things at their own pace, and usually it is NO reflection on their parents. Like, “my child walked at 7 months – I am the BEST parent”. Sorry, but pretty sure it had nothing to do with your parenting.
Other than my daughter starting to talk at 12 months – she comes by it naturally. She probably started talking just to silence my non-stop commentary.
This is such a good thing to think about even before having kids, which is where we are. Hoping, praying, planning, trying? I hope to not get so competitive, because is it really MY accomplishment if my kid does all these things early.
And to add to what others have said–I sat at 3 months, talked at 22. My mother still talks about how she was convinced that I was “special.” Poor woman had a serious case of getting caught up in doing everything early. So, I’ll try not to do that (and make some other parental blunder)! =)
Oh, I am SO with you on the “normal” ranges thing. I’m actually pretty sensitive to it because both my wee ones have been through Early Intervenion, although for very different reasons. I’m very open about where they were “late” on milestones (walking at 15+ months for Mister Man, talking at 22 months for Mister Man, talking at 18 months for Little Miss, etc) while accepting that they’re very different (Little Miss walked at 9 months).
I run into so many moms freaking about their kids being “late” so it’s sort of nice to be able to be the proof that “late” isn’t really late and that it’s all ok. Or to have some knowledge about what to do if you’re truly concerned about the development of your children. As with anything, getting some knowledge makes everything so much easier to deal with and clearer!
Oh yeah, and don’t ask me about sleeping through the night. There are several moms out there that I quite simply hate ;)
Thank you, thank you, thank you. We just had our 18 month appointment and got the “evil eye” because we couldn’t tell the pediatrician EXACTLY how many words our son says. My answer of “Eight or nine and about 10 signs” wasn’t good enough apparently. And who knew signs don’t even count toward verbal ability (yes, I know signing isn’t “verbal” but sheesh, the boy is communicating with us and isn’t that the point?)?
Ahem. Sorry for the rant. Anyway, I just wanted to say that pediatricians don’t help the matter. At all.
What an excellent point. I never gave much thought to how we stand around like puffed up peacocks bragging about when little so-and-so did this or that. Like WE had anything to do with it.
Argh! I’m having milestone insecurity about potty training. I just realized that Harper has been essentially trained for a year, but still regularly poops and pees in her diaper at bedtime and naptime. I tried just cutting her off and that only resulted in my having to do insane amounts of laundry. Wet sheets were no obstacle to her whatsoever. I feel slightly better about this after my mother recently told me my sister had to wear diapers in bed until age 4.5.
Michael gets a sort of milestone pass for a good long while because of the “adjusted age” factor.
I try not to spend too much time with people who insist on comparing children out loud!
People need to STFU. I hope no one gives you any grief because of anything Henry might/might not be doing. Babies will do what they need to do when they’re ready to do it.
A friend of mine is having a terrible time with people who are completely scandalized that she’s not aggressively potty training her son (who recently turned two). Her attitude is that badgering him isn’t going to make him get to it any faster and he’ll do it when he’s ready.
Love your blog, Swistle!
Delurking to say to everyone who’s worried about their normal/late child: I didn’t walk until 21 months (yes, 21), and then only because we went on vacation to a campsite with very pointy rocks that were uncomfortable to crawl on (scratched legs! I suddenly understood the use of shoes!). Pulled myself up and walked a few meters, just like that.
And then I didn’t talk until I was almost 2 and a half years old – nothing more than ‘mama’ and ‘papa’ (I’m Dutch) before that. I did immediately move to complete sentences though, and reciting the books that my parents had been reading to me. Been learning in silence, apparently.
And now? Am running every day and doing radio-shows. No kidding.
Sorry for the long comment, all just to say: you never know what your child is learning but not showing yet. Just enjoy the quietness while it lasts :)
my baby is already a brain surgeon.
Totally!!! My daughter crawled one week after turning one, and didn’t walk until she was 17 months old. Everybody else worried for us (we knew she was within normal range) but that got to us and freaked us out. We wanted her to walk just so everyone else would hush up about it! So I totally understand what you mean.
I was asked when my daughter was 7 months old if she was walking yet. My response was “she’s only 7 months old!” She wasn’t crawling yet,because she was only 7 months old! The two people asking this proceeded to tell me how one or both of their children were walking at 7 months. Of course, this then led me to worry about my child not crawling yet. Later, when I came to my senses, I decided they were full of crap about when their kids walked!
Now that I have a second child, I am assuming life will be more difficult once he is on the move. When the doctor told me he should have more tummy time so he would learn to crawl sooner, I thought “why would we want that to happen?”
What’s the rush?! They’ll walk when they’re ready to walk. My mother always jokes that I should put a brick in their diaper to slow them down and if I thought it would help … I WOULD.
So agree with you here. I so don’t worry about those types of things.
The other Peve I have, kind of off-topic, but somewhat related, is more doctor based and then pushed onto mother is: “your infant is too thin.” topic. I hate this! Since having children, I’ve noticed that every 3rd mother or so has a doctor harping on her about her thin infant and asking her to suppliment with formula and if on formula, other drastic measures are taken. I’m so tired of seeing freaked out mothers stuffing whatever fatty substence into their infant and/or young toddler’s mouth b/c of a doctor who doesn’t look at family history/size of parents, siblings, etc. Worse, the doctors who tell mothers that their kid is so thin, to give them french fries and ice cream and all kinds of junk to fatten them up. Yup, let’s get their pallet craving junk at a young age.
I was “under weight” until college. My doctor harped on my parents and I. Now, I’m fighting the buldge. My kids are “underweight,” as in lower than 5th percentile and I totally ignore the doctors. IGNORE. As in, never go back for a requested “weight check” and NEVER suppliment with formula. My kids are just following in their mother’s footsteps and doctors need to follow the “charts” a little less and use their brains.
Let kids be thin, they’ll be fighting the fat epidemic like most of the nation before you know it.
Another triumph of a post! I find it the oddest part of new motherhood, frankly, the *play group comparisons.* I mean, I think it’s human nature to compare (and to worry about our kids) but the range of normal is wide and, I SO agree, that we’re really only ever hearing about the *early* developers.
This from the mother of a one-year old who will be beginning OT soon for not, um, chewing.
Good heavens, I was THRILLED when my twins didn’t walk until they were 15 months old! And may I say, that once they did,they began plotting against me! Smile. Those babies are now 15 years old. I enjoy your blog. Thank you so much for sharing!
I’m totally guilty about this. When Gray was achieving motor milestones early, I was shouting it out to everyone.
Of course, since at 22 months he’s still not talking, I’m ALSO annoucing that to mothers I meet at the playground. In an apologetic tone. Like I’ve done something wrong.
But look! Look at how ADVANCED he is in motor skills!
What about talking? I want someone to tell me about the kids talking late because right now I’m battling every day to not freak out about the lack of vocab from my 20 month old. EEEEkkkk.
Heather- Oh yes! Talking too! Elizabeth didn’t really have any words at 18 months, and I lied to the pediatrician about it—because at her 15-month check-up he said he’d “refer her for services” if she hadn’t made significant improvements by 18 months. I was pretty sure she was fine, and didn’t want to get into the speech services system again (we had that for my firstborn), so I just lied and figured I’d bring it up at age 2 if necessary. And of course now she NEVER STOPS TALKING.
Hooray for normal! He will probably be far more coordinated than his early walking playmates.
I laughed at hollylynne’s comment earlier about walking being like first periods. I didn’t get mine until I was fifteen and I was soooo happy. I didn’t mind waiting on that at all.
Same thing with certain milestones for kids. Crawling, using doorknobs and turning on faucets are just a few of the things I could help them do, but I mind my own business instead. Seriously, how many adults don’t know how to turn on a faucet? Exactly. There is time, people.
I absolutely agree… my daughter didn’t walk until 13 months, and I got all those interesting looks and comments. People are just silly, because every baby is different and unique, and in most cases, perfectly NORMAL. When did we all start needing to have super-babies? I know those women in the check-out line are trying to make “innocent conversation”, but it gets ollllld.
I always considered myself unlucky that my kids did the physical stuff early – they had both rolled both ways by 2 weeks for goodness sake. I was so jealous that their cousin stayed put where you put her!
I got the funny expression and darty eyes at the park the other week, though: I had just recounted how I used to try to bring all my daughters toys to her to try and discourage her from walking (it didn’t work – she walked at 9 months. She was tiny for her age, which made it look even more weird). I don’t think they were thinking “OOoooo, dear, that’s not good. Should one of us…tell her so?”, though. It looked more like they were thinking “is this something we should be calling Child Protective Services about?”…
I’d love to know what the mums are like back home in England – normally people don’t tend to boast over there.
Way late to the party on this one, but I am like you – I worried more about what other people thought about my perfect child’s progress than about her actual progress. She didn’t walk until 16 months, and I always found myself making excuses – she was in a brace until 6 months due to a dislocated hip at birth, yada yada yada and then kicking myself and wondering WHY I DID THAT. She’s fine. She’s normal. She’s perfect. She’s mine.
Hell, after the first kid you’re pretty much praying that they don’t walk (or talk, for that matter) until they’re ready for preschool, anyway!!!! When Patrick started walking I wanted to duct-tape his little diaper heiney to the floor!
Screw Competitive Momming. It’s just a way to make yourself look/feel more important, but using your baby to do so. Hmph!
Oh heck. Folklore in my family has it that one of my siblings walked at 7 months. No disrespect intended, but I’m not certain that this fact really worked out for said sibling. What exactly is the causal relation between walking early and a healthy happy life? Every day I see hundreds of people running to catch trains and busses and I never find myself thinking “oh…must one have been a late walker?”
This all being said, as a competative person by nature I must admit that I do feel pangs of jealousy when friends’ babies do some things faster. Then I feel way better pangs of joy that our Danny is amazing. Just my 3 cents. -Monica
My daughter crawled at 5 months, pulled herself up at 7 months, and could stand alone quite well shortly after. And then stayed that way for months. Nope… she refused to walk until she turned 14 months. :)
I got all those “not walking yet?” comments too. But she’s running everywhere now (at 18 months) and doing just fine! Don’t worry! :)
Blessings,
Michele
http://www.frugalgranola.blogspot.com
Yes, this post is quite timely! Because really, this competition never ends. Mine’s almost 4 now and now instead of walking it’s,
“Little Jane knows her multiplication tables!”
“Well my Tommy can do long division!”
“Johnny’s just such an athlete, he can throw a perfect spiral!”
Blah Blah Blah…it’s one thing to be proud of your child’s accomplishments. It’s quite another to be so incredibly…crazy.
It’s just too bad that some people are so hell-bent on turning their lives into a competition at such a young age. After all, aren’t they just kids??
Henry will walk in due time…and then you’ll be wishing he was still slightly less mobile!
OMG! Best Parent Ever is SOOO funny! Thanks!
Hello.
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The English is studying, but is very particular.
I am sudden, but may link?
Thanking you in advance.
Poor English,sorry.
Thanks for the great post! Sooo true. My child free sister was just expressing her concern to me today about E not walking yet at 14 months. M didn’t walk until almost 17 months, so it’s not like this is surprising. And big fat yes about the talking too.
If everyone always says that every kid is different, then why is it expected that the child crawl, walk, talk or whatever else by a certain point?
It’s not like we hear about teenagers or even adolences’ that aren’t crawling or walking yet. They’ll get it when they’re ready.
Count me as one who was reassured by your keepin’ it real with the statistics. My son is just now walking at 15 months, and he was the last in our playgroup, so I was feeling exactly like you said: logically knowing that I wasn’t worried and shouldn’t be, but wondering what others were thinking. I swear, raising kids these days is just a nutty business.
So true.
I’d also like to add that there is a wide range of normal when it comes to weight percentiles too.
My baby is small – but normal.
Just because someone’s baby is in the 90th percentile does not mean they get an A.
Thanks for another great post. This one hit home with me on the weight issue. I’m a little sensitive about it. I weigh too much, my son… he’s on the smaller side of the bell curve, but “well within the normal range.”
The Frog- I know, right? Don’t people realize that “90th percentile” just means “weighs more than 90% of babies this age” and “10th percentile” just means “weighs more than 10% of babies this age” and that ALL the points on the percentile chart are 100% normal? “10th percentile” is not “worryingly small” and “90th percentile” is not “worryingly large”—they’re both “here’s where the child is on the normal bell curve.”
I always brag that my kid was a really slow walker. I tend to do it most often when someone’s kid is climbing the furniture and stacking coffee tables all over the room. It’s really fun, because then they feel a little weird about bragging how THEIR kid started walking at nine months.
I totally got this all the time. Stella didn’t do anything early enough to “out-early” (HA! Thanks Jill – I am so adding that into my vocabulary now)anybody and boy was I LUCKY! Do these people not realize that a mobile baby makes everything more difficult? They are so much more convenient when they haven’t figured out that they can get away from where you put them. The competi-mommy thing is such a drag though…its hard to not get sucked into it. I like the idea of bragging about how late they did things. That is a great idea.
early walk doesn’t always equal a happy mommy. it equals a very tired mommy.