I am currently using my Newborn Survival Sleep Plan, which took me four babies to perfect. The NSSP takes these things into account:
1) That I can’t comfortably sleep lying down for a couple of weeks after a c-section (I like to sleep on my side, which pulls at the incision).
2) That I start losing my mind if I have to repeatedly deal with a crying, crying baby in the middle of the night when I am so tired already, and I hate how that makes me feel about the baby.
3) That in my experience so far, newborns are too dim to learn much from what I do to them at this early stage.
4) That sleep is more valuable to survival and sanity than almost anything else, and that I don’t really care what I have to do to get it.
So this is the plan: I sleep in our extremely comfortable La-Z-Swistle recliner, mostly reclined, which is very cozy. If the baby wants to sleep there with me, he may. (He always does.) If I nurse him in the night and fall asleep that way, so be it. (It is always so being it.) Bad habits be damned!
Actually, I’m more nervous about it than I pretend. Who DOESN’T project forward, imagining that each deviance from your intended path will lead to a permanent, unchangeable, highly regrettable situation? I imagine the baby, two years later, still sleeping only on me and only in the recliner.
But so far I have had great luck with this gamble. What happens is that after a few weeks the baby gets a little heavier, I get a little tired of sleeping in the recliner, my incision heals, and pretty soon I don’t feel as much like having a damp hot baby pinning me down all night. I start going down my intended path without even meaning to, feeling naturally inclined to put the baby down in his bassinet instead of automatically going back to sleep with him on me. I recover from the surgery and am less desperate for sleep, and so I can tolerate a little nighttime training. Before I know it, the baby’s in the bassinet and I’m in bed. (See how it sounds so smooth and easy when I am looking back on how it happened with other babies? Stay tuned to see how it goes in real time.)
But for now, NSSP is in effect, and it is cozy.
I think no matter what you do, they end up the same in the end anyhow. I wish I had a recliner for those early days with D when he wanted nothing more than to sleep with a boob in his mouth. And I hated those times when I’d finally finally fall asleep, with baby on my chest, and some well meaning idiot woke me up saying I was going to drop the kid or something. Eh, there’s carpet…
Hey did anyone have whooping cough?
I always say you do what works for you…to hell with everyone else’s opinions!! The NSSP sounds like a good fit for you both.
I have a WORST Father’s Day contest of sorts going on this week…come check it out!! (when you’re not nursing, holding the baby, cleaning the house, showering…you know the daily routine)
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Thanks for all these great posts. I had forgotten sleeping/nursing all night in the recliner chair with my newborns. Good times.
Oh, and I was like you… afraid that every little thing I did would lead to a bad habit that would be impossible to break later on. Nothing ever worked that way. In my case, maybe it was post partum psychosis. Haha! (kidding)
Love the picture. My kids used to stick their chin out like that too. So sweet!
Good luck getting some sleep
Jen: No, no whooping cough. Apparently it was just part of the “freak out pregnant women days from delivery” master plan.
I am a big believer in whatever works! Our first was such a good sleeper that we were a little dumbfounded when our second wasn’t. Little Mason and I spent approx. 10 weeks sleeping, semi-reclined, on the couch. I feared the worst – same as what you wrote – but it all worked out.
Good luck to you – I hope that you get that much needed sleep…in whatever form it may take!
Well I have it on good authority from a Dr. Karp (you know, The Happiest Baby on The Block dude)that for the first three months you needn’t worry about being with your baby at all times. Apparently that is the best thing to do for all persons involved.
So just enjoy sleeping with the baby on your lazyboy. Before long he’ll be squirming to get out of your arms and by the time he’s seven you probably won’t even be allowed to kiss him on the cheek in public. So kick out the guilt for now, there is plenty of time for that during the teen years :)
I was lucky enough to have a child the first time around who actually wanted to sleep by herself, and still does. This is so bizarre to me, from what I have heard from other parents, that I am totally expecting to be following the Swistle Newborn Survival Sleep Plan with the second baby. I mean, how long can a person’s luck hold out?
I’m a believer in this sort of plan. Whatever works. We did everything “right” for the first 2 months of d’s life as far as sleeping goes and to this day he is a crappy sleeper. And those first 2 months were miserable until I finally gave in to what worked.
I decided not to repeat that little mistake this time around. I’m still a bit nervous that we’ll end up with another crappy sleeper though. I still think it’s more nature than nuture though.
We had a recliner when D was a baby and she is still in our bed with us…So poor Elise, stuck in her bassinet every night all by herself. I fall asleep with her on my chest on the couch nursing all the time though. I miss sleep.
I heartily agree with #3. I love how all the “experts” make it seem like newborns are great students of life at 1 or 2 weeks old.
Just can’t say it enough: HE IS SO F-ING CUTE!!
Can’t wait to hear more about what the “big kids” think of the baby.
Love the picture. It reminds me of similar ones I took when my son was that tiny. Gosh I can’t believe he was ever that little.
I’m on board with your sleep program. I remember those nights as a new mother wondering if I was doing things wrong. I gave in, like you, and felt VERY quilty about it. Now that I’m a little older and wiser, I know I did the right thing and shouldn’t have fought it. I won’t batt an eye for the next baby when I have to “give” in. Who tells us it’s wrong anyway? You need that precious sleep.
Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. May you be well rested soon. May you husband get up in the middle of the night to change diapers and rock little ones to sleep! This is my wish for you.
I slept with both of my kids in the recliner too, for maybe the first month. It is so great for nursing/sleeping/existing. Made my hubby very uncomfortable but when I asked him if he’d like to stay up and let them suck on his nipples he shut up about it.
It became a joke that I lived in the recliner- I had bottles of water, the remote, magazines, a box of nursing pads, a clean shirt, my breast pump…you name it, it was either right in the chair with me or on the table next to me. I only had to get up to go pee.
I wish I’d had a recliner.
And…the CUTE!