My delayed-mammogram results came back fine, as did my delayed-pap results, as did all my delayed bloodwork. Before the pandemic, I was going to the dentist every 3 months to try to keep my gum pockets from getting worse; because of the pandemic I went 16 months between cleanings/checks, and the gum pockets were exactly the same, and I needed only the usual amount of scraping with metal tools, and both the hygienist and the dentist commented that they would never have known from the state of my teeth/gums that it had been so long, so now I’m going to go every 6 months instead of every 3, and I expect this will improve the quality of my life.

Henry failed one of his finals, and this class requires a C in the class (he had this) and also on the final (he did not have this) in order to go on, which means he has to repeat the entire thing next year, and we’ve struggled all year to make him do it FOR NOTHING. It’s fine. It’s fine! He’ll just be a year behind in math, that’s all. GAH THIS SCHOOL YEAR. Well, it’s over. We have made and consumed our end-of-year ice cream sundaes, and now we can turn our minds toward summer.

IN FACT LET’S TALK ABOUT SUMMER. The kids (probably just the three youngest) and I will soon have our annual conversation about our summer plans, and in recent years our summer plans have consistently involved doing something academic and/or creative each day, so that we now just call it Our Academic-Creative, so I assume we will be doing it again this summer, and have been thinking ahead to what I want to do: this year I want to read some of the HEAPS of interesting non-fiction I see when I am shelving at the library. There is so much of it, I am having trouble narrowing it down at all.

One possibility is history. I am so poor at learning/retaining history, I have many embarrassing gaps. I could read about some Major Event. Like the Russian revolution in the early 1900s, which I had to find out a little about while reading A Gentleman in Moscow. Or the Berlin wall thing, or The Cold War, which I don’t know anything about and/or if they are related. Or I could read some sort of overview of United States history, or some sort of One Hundred Things Everyone Should Know About World History / Things You May Have Missed in History Class book. It can’t be DRY or too TEXTBOOKY: it needs to be written for people who are not ordinarily interested in history and need to be persuaded.

Another possibility is politics. Again, I have many embarrassing gaps: frankly, I didn’t really tune in until 2015. I could read about some of the most recent presidents. But again: I need something written in a sort of LIVELY, even GOSSIPY, trying-to-make-it-really-interesting way.

It might be fun, and also easier for my poor brain to absorb, to combine a non-fiction book with a TV show and/or fiction book. I could re-watch The Crown, and then read a book about Queen Elizabeth or Prince Philip or Prince Charles or Princess Anne or whoever. I could watch a documentary about the George W. Bush administration, if such a thing exists, and then re-read Curtis Sittenfeld’s American Wife, and then read a non-fiction book about George W. Bush, and then maybe read something one of his daughters wrote. I could choose one of Philippa Gregory’s historical fictions, and then read some non-fiction about those same people.

Another possibility is travel. I could pick a country I’d like to visit someday, and study up on it. Though I think that might be more fun to do once travel plans have actually been made.

Or what about some sort of group project with the kids?? We could do Four Recent Presidents, and each take one and report to each other each day on what new things we’ve learned! Or we could do Four Major World Events! Or Elizabeth wonders if they might all like to study sign language together, and William said he’d be inclined to join that—though I’d opt out, since I have already started sign language several times and always lose interest, and the thought of re-re-re-learning the alphabet fills me with ennui.

Well, what do you think? What would you read, if you were me? / What are you going to do for YOUR Academic Creative this summer? Do you have any engaging non-fiction books to recommend? Ooo, or do you already have a strong interest in a particular topic, so that you would be able to recommend a little mini-course containing a non-fiction book AND a fiction book AND a documentary AND a TV show set in that time period AND…etc.??

This week has so many interesting/momentous/significant things in it, and I am so much less equipped to deal with such weeks after having a year or so of not going anywhere or doing anything.

• Elizabeth applied at my same library to be a library page. She’s been waiting YEARS to do this. I really hope they have paging hours available and that she gets them! I know they LIKE to hire the children of staff. And William worked there, too, so it’s getting to be a bit of a family thing. One thing that was convenient when William and I were both there is that we could sometimes cover each other’s shifts, which is handy for the library and also comfier for people who don’t like to have to ask for time off when they don’t work many hours to begin with.

• Rob has left to go live with my parents for a couple of months. I felt surprisingly bereft after dropping him off at the airport, considering we hardly ever see him, and also he’s 22 years old and if there hadn’t been a pandemic he wouldn’t have been here. But still: I remember there was a cozy feeling when we brought both college kids home back in March 2020 and then closed the doors. And while I don’t think anyone is going to say “Gosh, I miss lockdown!,” it was comforting to have all the chicks home, and feels odd to have them start going out again.

• Elizabeth and Henry both got their second doses of the Pfizer Covid-19 vaccine. Both of them have experienced headaches: Henry had one in the evening of the afternoon he got the shot; Elizabeth woke up the next morning with one.

• I have a mammogram tomorrow. I know it’s not a big deal, and I’m not even particularly modest about it now that I’m used to what to expect, but I just always dread that whole thing. And you know what, I think mostly it’s the no-deodorant thing! Which feels a little silly, but it’s something that registers as being a little stressful to deal with: remembering not to wear it, using a wet wipe or something right before the mammogram, remembering to bring deodorant to put on afterward (though they do have an aerosol available for anyone who forgets).

• The twins turn 16. Double the cakes to make, double the presents to acquire/wrap. It’s a fun kind of busyness, but it’s still kind of busy. And it’s become clearer to me over recent years just how little Paul does for birthdays/holidays, except sit happily in a chair enjoying the party, and that might need to be adjusted.

• Edward has a Remicade treatment. When I donated blood recently, they tested it for Covid-19 antibodies (and found them, indicating the vaccine Took). I’m going to ask if Edward’s blood can be tested similarly as part of his usual bloodwork, to make sure his vaccine Took, too; I would feel so much better knowing it had.

• Henry is having a final exam that has to be in-person at the school. We don’t know the whole story, but I’d say the clues point to some other remote-student parent doing the good work of bringing the school from its initial position of “This test has to be indoors and in-person, that’s the rule we’ve always followed, your other option is to let the student fail the class and take it again next year, *SHRUG*,” to “Hey, can we offer you individual outdoor testing at a time that works for you, with a fully-vaccinated test moderator?”—a shift that occurred while I was still fretfully working on the tone of my email response to the first position.

• School is wrapping up for all three youngest. I am so glad. I have never been happier to see the end of a school year.

FIRST. I am placing an order for perfume samples, so if there’s anything that springs to your mind as “OH!! You should try ______!!,” then this is the moment!

SECOND. I finally read A Gentleman in Moscow (Amazon link / Target link), which many of you recommended:

(image from Target.com)

It took me awhile to get to it, because I am not reading many books by men right now, and also because I read another book by this author long ago and it left behind a little spot of Depressed Feeling. But! I very much liked this one. It was right on the line of Too Politically Stressful for me, and it pointed out to me once again that I am not good at History and learn it ONLY if it’s fictionalized (Philippa Gregory taught me everything I know about Henry VIII) (but I still wouldn’t be able to hazard a guess at what century he lived in), so now I know a little more than before about early 1900s Russia. I would say this book was a deceptively quiet read: that is, it feels like you’re reading a sort of mellow book about a man living his life, but there are some very dramatic plot elements—which are also presented in a mellow way, so that sometimes I thought, “Wait, what?” and had to go back and re-read the last couple of paragraphs. I love that kind of book. Also, the author addresses the reader in footnotes several times, in a way I found pleasing. I don’t generally want to be reminded of the author’s existence, but in my opinion this particular author pulled it off and it felt more as if THE BOOK ITSELF was talking to me.

THIRD. I have seen buzz about not buying “corporate Pride,” and also I have seen the counter-buzz which says “Hey, not everyone has the same access to things, and also let Mom be supportive by buying the Pride stuff she sees while she’s at Target”; and I am more aligned with the counter-buzz here, seeing as how I am the mom being supportive while shopping at Target. It was my first time browsing in Target since the pandemic began, and it was a fairly rapid browse as I am still a bit skittish, but being able to buy two bottles of this bubbly was a delight:

(image from Target.com)

Note that if you venture into Target to acquire some: the design VARIES. I did NOT notice, but by chance selected two different designs: one with diagonal stripes as shown above, and the other with more of a sunbeam pattern of stripes. And there may be OTHERS! I am going to have to go back to check, because I also have to buy more bottles, because if I don’t have PLENTY of them I am never going to think an occasion is special enough to open one.

I also bought this mug:

(image from Target.com)

FOURTH. I have found two skin-care items that have made a small but perceptible difference:

(image from Target.com)

(image from Target.com)

The first is CeraVe Skin Renewing Night Cream. Note that it is a very small quantity: just 1.7 ounces. But I have been using it for almost a month, and NUMEROUS TIMES have looked in the mirror and thought “Oh, my skin doesn’t look as bad as I’d thought! Actually it looks kind of nice today!,” in sharp contrast to BEFORE I started using it, when it was happening regularly that I would look in the mirror and think “BEHOLD THE RAVAGES OF TIME.” So! I recommend waiting until it’s on sale (I got mine when they were doing a “$5 gift card with $20 purchase of beauty stuff” deal), and then trying it to see if your skin likes it too.

The second is Gold Bond Crepe Corrector. It is TEN DOLLARS for that 8-ounce tube. I find it difficult to make myself use it. But I DO use it: I put it on my neck and upper chest, and on my lower arms / elbows / hands. And again, it’s not that I have seen a REVOLUTION, skin-wise, but I went from REGULARLY noticing the impending-crepe levels of my neck/arms back to the blissful days of not really noticing it (it’s still THERE, but not at levels that catch my eye as often), and to me that is a worthwhile difference. But again, I would wait for a sale and/or get it for yourself as a little Ruined Mother’s Day present.

Don’t forget to tell me if there’s a perfume sample I should try!

Our grocery store had already taken out the one-way aisle signs, and this time they had also taken down the signs requiring masks. Instead, they had signs saying that people who were unvaccinated were required to wear masks, while fully vaccinated people did not have to. As has been widely noted, doing this on the honor system is beyond ridiculous, and only means that many vaccinated people will still wear masks, while most unvaccinated people will not. I am, as you would no doubt guess from this lead-in, still wearing my mask—not just because my kids aren’t fully vaccinated and other people’s kids can’t be, and not just to protect/respect the employees who might not be cool with this new loosening of rules, but also to make it less awkward for others who still think it’s a good idea to wear masks. I felt like I was getting little Solidarity Vibes from other people wearing masks—like, we were looking at each other and thinking “Ah ha! Another voluntary mask-wearer! How nice!” and then briefly squeezing our eyes at each other.

I had wondered if I would be weirdly jumpy and startled to see people without masks, but it turns out I was not. And in fact, afterward, I had to think: WAS my cashier wearing a mask? I remembered the bagger was not. Apparently I am not going to be as flinchy about that as I’d thought I might be.

I have long understood that it is not necessary/useful to shower after grocery shopping—but I am still doing it that way, because it lets me leave the house just that little bit earlier, which generally means the grocery store is less busy. Also, now we’re getting into warmer weather, and it’s pleasant to take a shower after getting all sweaty lugging groceries, so I will just continue doing it this way for now.

It did not seem to me as if there were any remaining pandemic food/supply shortages—except, weirdly, BREAD, which is still patchy and unpredictable. I can always GET bread, it’s not like they’re totally OUT, but the selection is still poor, and they often don’t have any of our several preferred kinds (none of which are special/niche in any way).

I am switching from the Pandemic Plan of going to the grocery store as infrequently as possible, to a new Fully Vaccinated Plan of going regularly once a week; and I am adding back in the little “Whoops, we’re out of hamburger buns” just-running-in-quick trips.

I am still getting a fair number of things using Target’s curbside service, which is why I can go to the grocery store just once a week (before the pandemic, I was going regularly twice a week). At some point I suppose I will stop doing curbside. I’d actually be ready to stop NOW—but now that I am used to using it, I see the sales that are only valid on pick-up orders, and I don’t want to lose those sales! Well. This week I have to go inside to pick up a prescription, and I am planning to make it at least a PARTIAL browsing trip. My guess is that, while browsing, I will see sales that are not available on pick-up orders, and that might help ease the transition. I think it would feel nice to get Target Browsing back into my life.

It’s been a stressy-but-productive week. I’m back to work, which is making me feel exhausted and busy, and the schedule change is stressful; and the housecleaners came back, which was stressful even though it was also great; and now that I am more than two weeks past my second Covid-19 vaccine I am going to a lot of overdue appointments (pap, physical, and soon mammogram and dentist); so I am just feeling very…well, I guess “exhausted and busy” from earlier in this sentence still applies.

And ALSO: I don’t know if I’ve mentioned that Rob is planning to go live with my parents for a couple of months, for fun and research: he said he wanted to spend some time with them; and he’s starting to think about where he might want to live after he graduates next spring, and one possibility is the area of the country where my parents live. And we (I am using that pronoun a little vaguely, because it was probably mostly “I” but when we talked about it he did agree) wanted him to get all caught up on appointments (doctor, dentist, optometrist) before he went—but he had let his driver’s license expire, so that was stressing me out (particularly because it turned out he never updated his address on the license, either, so that had to be done as well, but the form only seemed to allow EITHER an address change OR a renewal of an expired license), and also meant he couldn’t drive himself to his own appointments so I had to drive him and then wait out in the car, and also meant an additional appointment for the driver’s license. (One might ask why he did not book the driver’s-license-renewing appointment FIRST. Well, he just DIDN’T.)

But at least we have had unqualified success: he made all the appointments “we” wanted him to make (TONS of good adulting practice there, as it turned out, with him needing to ask me questions such as what is a PCP and who is the “subscriber” on his health insurance and what is his father’s birth year); he went in to each of them on his own; and now his driver’s license is renewed so if there are any further errands he can manage them without me.

And so far my own appointments are going well: pap normal, see you in three years; physical went well, bloodwork all looks good, I got a tetanus booster. The nurse made a big praisey deal about me losing some weight (it’s the 15 hours per week of an Active Library Job, plus the appointment was first thing in the morning, plus I was fasting for bloodwork, plus I was a little dehydrated, plus the last time I was weighed was the day after a Day Off from keto), which I hate but as a co-member of our shared society I understood she intended her remarks to be pleasing to me. My doctor once again handled the topic in a way I appreciate: she asked gently if I’d lost the weight on purpose, asked some questions about stress/anxiety/depression, added a thyroid check and vitamin D check to the bloodwork she was ordering, etc.: in short, treated it like a possible medical symptom, rather than as an Objective Good.