Amanda writes:

Hi there! I am due with girl #2 on Sept.3 and my husband and I are beyond stumped about what to name her. With my first pregnancy I had my heart set on a particular girl’s name (Anneliese) but he loathed it. We fought about it for the entire 40 weeks, and then after a 40 hour labour, while I was still soaked in sweat, I pleaded, “Can we PLEASE call her Anneliese?” And he still refused. In the end we went with “Avelyn” (pronounced with a soft “a”, like Evelyn, but with an A) and it suits our daughter (now two years old) way better than Anneliese ever would have.

All that back story is to say that this time around, I don’t have a front-runner, so while we’re not fighting about what to name the next baby, we’re not coming up with any clear winners, either. We seem to have very different tastes in names, my hubby and I. One thing that’s really important to me is that her name be uncommon (but not strange) and unique (but not too “out there” like Muse, or Lyric, or Harmony, or something). I love Avelyn’s name because it is feminine, but uncommon. A little twist on an old-fashioned name. So, something else like that might be good.

Here are the names I am liking:

Alida/Elida (pronounced Al-eye-dah)…hubby HATES this one
Elise…he doesn’t really like this one either
Evanie (probably too close to Avelyn, in that their nicknames would be Avi and Evi, but I REALLY like this one)
Renate
Maea

Here are the names my hubby likes:

Leah
Aliyah (just reminds me of the singer who died in the plane crash)
Annalie
Natasha

By the way, we have the world’s dullest surname: Brown. Which is also why I’d like a first name with some flair/uniqueness to it.

HELP US, please!!

I thought your labor/delivery naming story was going to have a totally different outcome! Your husband is one tough cookie! I think it’s safe to say he’s not going to cave on any name he doesn’t like no matter what, so we might as well take Alida/Elida and Elise out of the running right this minute before we get our hearts set on them any further.

And is he a little crazy to unshakably loathe Anneliese but like Annalie? Yes, I think so.

All right. Let’s get started. I LOVE the name Avelyn. LOVE IT. Am adding it to my personal Girl Name List. That’s beautiful. Let’s find some sister candidates.

How about Amelie? It’s close to Annalie, and I see that three out of the four choices on your husband’s list feature combinations of the “uh” sound and the “lee” sound: Leah (lee-uh), Aliyah (uh-lee-uh), and Annalie (ann-uh-lee). Amelie seems like it might be just his style. Avelyn and Amelie. Amelie Brown.

Here’s a name I’ve been saving for a special occasion: awhile back a friend sent me the name suggestion Briarley, which she said she’d wanted to use for her own child but the association with the one Briarley she had ever known would have been a little awkward (they didn’t have a “name my child after you” level of friendship). I penciled it into my naming book and this seems like the moment to bring it out. What do you think? Unusual, beautiful. The only problem is I’m not sure it works with your surname. Briarley Brown. That’s a lot of “Br” for a single name to carry.

Ariadne, perhaps. Beautiful, classic, but unusual. Avelyn and Ariadne. Ariadne Brown.

Have you considered Elodie? Your choices Elida and Elise made me think of it. Avelyn and Elodie. Elodie Brown.

Isadora gives you the cute nickname combination Avi and Izzy. Avelyn and Isadora. Isadora Brown.

My friend Mairzy and I are totally split on this one: I love the name Minerva and she doesn’t. I think it’s particularly good here: Avelyn and Minerva. Avi and Minnie. Minerva Brown.

Rosalie. Avelyn and Rosalie. Rosalie Brown.

Mariel. Avelyn and Mariel. Mariel Brown.

This may be too many choices—it was really hard to narrow it down at all. There are so many names that are good with the surname and sibling name, and it was hard to stop leafing through the book looking for just! one! more! Poll is to the right. [Poll closed; see below.]

[Poll results (465 votes total):
Amelie: 170 votes, roughly 37%
Briarley: 36 votes, roughly 8%
Ariadne: 7 votes, roughly 2%
Elodie: 110 votes, roughly 24%
Isadora: 55 votes, roughly 12%
Minerva: 5 votes, roughly 1%
Rosalie: 50 votes, roughly 11%
Mariel: 32 votes, roughly 7%]

[Name update! Amanda writes:

Baby girl Brown arrived and after much deliberation we decided on the name Jolie Grace. We are pronouncing the name Jolie with a soft ‘J’ and the accent on the last syllable, so it has a bit of a French flair to it.

Sorry we didn’t end up using any of your suggestions…I liked them but the ol’ hubby thought some of them were a little too “out there”. He’s such a stick in the mud. :)

The name suits her perfectly and she’s a dream baby.

Thanks for your help!

Amanda Brown]

Amy writes:

I came across your blog on a search to find a name for my second child that would fit with the first. I have a son named Nicolae Farley. I am Romanian and Nicolae is a family name. Farley is my husband’s grandfather’s name. I realize this is an odd name never thought of the problem I would have naming my second.

We do not know the sex of the baby, so have to consider both genders. My husband is German/Swedish and I wouldn’t mind chosing a name from that ethnicity. I don’t think I want to go with all my children’s names beginning with ‘N.’ Our last name is Johnson so nothing that would match that or ryhme with it.

I had considered Ivan if it was a boy since it is a variation of my great-grandfather’s name (Ivanti) and David for the middle name since it is my father’s middle name and my father-in-law’s name. For a girl, I have considered Evalina or Annalise but am not quite sure that will work with Nicolae. My maternal grandmother’s name was Margaret and I’d love to use it, but am concerned it may not be a good match or sound odd with Nicolae. I really am not concerned about middle names matching. I really dislike names like Hayden/Conner or Ceirra/Jayden.

Any advise or suggestions would be great!

Swistle’s friend Mairzy writes:

Scene: Swistle and Mairzy are in their virtual office, sitting at their virtual desks. Swistle is doing a little on-the-job field research: she’s flipping through “The Baby Name Wizard.” Mairzy has broken open the certified-mail envelope that brought their latest virtual payment and is eating the toffees, leaving the fudge for Swistle. Suddenly an email comes in. Books and toffees are forgotten: Swistle and Mairzy gear up to solve another name dilemma and make the world a little better place for babies.

Except that this time, there wasn’t too much for us to do. Here are my thoughts, and please forgive the sticky toffee-stains on it.

If you keep your current choices, you won’t go wrong. Ivan is a good compromise between global and “normal American.” Annaliese is a beautiful name, with German roots, and a top choice on this blog. Margaret pairs with it well, although it does make for a very long name.

Other suggestions (most courtesy of Behind the Name):

Claudia
Francesca
Margot (as a form of Margaret)
Johanna

Adrian
Gabriel
Sebastian
Julian
August

Still, with all these in front of me, I like your suggestions best. Go for what you’ve got!

Best wishes!

Thanks, Mairzy!

My favorites from Mairzy’s lists are Francesca and Gabriel—but I agree with Mairzy that I like Amy’s choices even better. I love the name Ivan with Nicolae; and Margaret is a great name and also a family name, so that’s my first choice for a girl. Maybe Margaret Evalina?

Let’s do a poll over to the right [poll closed; see below]. Since we don’t know if the baby is a boy or a girl, please choose one boy name AND one girl name.

[Poll results: 180 votes for boy names, 184 votes for girl names

Boy names
Ivan: 93 votes, roughly 52% of the boy name votes
Adrian: 10 votes, roughly 6% of the boy name votes
Gabriel: 22 votes, roughly 12% of the boy name votes
Sebastian: 20 votes, roughly 11% of the boy name votes
Julian: 24 votes, roughly 13% of the boy name votes
August: 11 votes, roughly 6% of the boy name votes

Girl names
Evalina: 31 votes, roughly 17% of the girl name votes
Annalise: 38 votes, roughly 21% of the girl name votes
Margaret: 19 votes, roughly 10% of the girl name votes
Claudia: 18 votes, roughly 10% of the girl name votes
Francesca: 16 votes, roughly 9% of the girl name votes
Margot: 41 votes, roughly 22% of the girl name votes
Johanna: 21 votes, roughly 11% of the girl name votes]

[Update! 08-29-2008 Amy writes:
“It’s another BOY! Gabriel Matei
My husband wasn’t fond of Ivan and actually had chosen one of your ideas (Gabriel) as a favorite without seeing your polls. Thanks for all the input and the votes!! -Amy”]

Teresa writes:

I have recently given myself a naming delima, and am hoping you and your beautiful, charming readers will be able to help.

My husband and I are due to have our first children on Sept. 18th, twin boys (YAY!). Early in my husband’s and my relationship, we talked hypothetically about names for children, and future expectations. Now that the pregnancy has actually materialized, I am reconsidering one of the options I originally thought was great.

We agreed that if we had twins, the girl(s) would have my initials, and the boy(s) would have his initials with the first boy being named after him. I am still happy with naming our first son after his father, but I am now thinking that giving both boys the same initials is too cutesy. My husband still likes our original name choices, but I wanted to ask your opinion to see if there was something we were missing.

Our original name choices were: David Lloyd Miller, Jr. (DLM); my husband’s name – non negotiable, and Duncan Lucas Miller. While I love, love, love the name Duncan, Lucas does not seen to fit so well, it is just the best “L” name I could find. Also, it may seem silly, but I am concerned as to the feelings of the child not named after his father, even though he was part of the first pregnancy, will he feel left out or slighted in some way? So, I am considering the name Adam Mac Miller (AMM). Adam, because he was the first man God created and Mac because it means “son of”, so his name would mean first man son of Miller.

For reference, other names we like are: Stockton, Bradford, and Maximilian.

What do you think; are the names David and Duncan okay together? Am I overreacting to think the child not named after his father will care? Is there a great name out there I am missing? I need help!

I have a friend who, as it happens, was in your exact situation: she was expecting twin boys, and they wanted to name one boy after the father but were afraid the other boy would then feel less special—especially since she was having a c-section, and so the birth order would be arbitrary. I’ll tell you what she did, because I thought it was genius: they named the SECONDBORN twin after his father. And they gave the firstborn twin a significant family name from the mom’s side of the family.

I’ll just let the amazingness of that sink in. Isn’t that GREAT?

If your husband is going to insist on the firstborn as his namesake (honestly, men and their names—you hardly ever see women doing this kind of thing), then I don’t think using Adam for the secondborn helps. If you’re using it mainly for its significant meaning, and its meaning is “first man,” what does that mean when it’s for the second boy? It almost seems like saying, “What’s special about YOU is that we’re naming you AS IF you had been the firstborn twin! Because being FIRST is what is special!” Instead of giving the secondborn his own specialness, it re-emphasizes that being first is what’s important.

If you love the name Duncan and don’t have a significant family name from your own side of the family you like as much or more, I think you should stay with Duncan. (I like Lucas with it, too.) David and Duncan are good together, and it follows the naming system you and your husband agreed on, and people love a little gimmick in twin names: you’ll get a lot of positive reaction to the matching initials.

What do the rest of you think?

[Name update! 09-29-2008 Teresa writes:

I just wanted you to know that our twin boys arrived mostly healthy, but small on September 4th, and came home soon after in perfect condition. Your readers were incredibly helpful and my husband and I took a lot of what was said into consideration. Ultimately, we decided to split my husband’s name between our boys and chose the names Stockton Lloyd and Duncan David; Stockton and Duncan. Neither boy is named exactly after my husband, and nobody shares initials, but they both have strong names that honor their father. We are very happy with the names (and the boys) and want to thank your readers for all their help, they really did make a difference.]

Carmen writes:

Hi Swistle,

I am due in September with our second child, a girl, and my husband and I are having great difficulty choosing a name this time around. We don’t have any family name traditions, and have only a few restrictions:

a) I don’t want names that people automatically shorten into cutesy nicknames (e.g. Timmy, Tommy, etc.) because then the poor child has to convince the world to call him something else when he becomes an adult. (The same would hold true for a daughter – I just can’t think of an example at this moment.) I know that the parents should be able to avoid this with a bit of work, but I know my parents. And his parents. It’s just easier to avoid the situation all together.

b) And of course, the initials also shouldn’t spell anything crazy. This seems like a fairly standard restriction though.

c) We’d like a name that is not really in the top 20 or so of current names – in order to avoid the situation of 3 kids in one class with the same name.

d) I’m not a huge fan of the current trend of crazy spellings of normal names.

The name we chose for our son was Kieran James. No nicknames, fairly uncommon, not crazy initials. Girls names are harder as there aren’t any so far that I really really love. I sort of like Jemma, but my husband does not. And Alexa, although I’m not sure if the ‘x’ makes the name sound a bit ‘hard’.

How about Calla? Or Lyra? And predictably, I have no thoughts on middle names…

I guess the other complicating factor is that our last name is Foster. That makes names that end in ‘er’ impossible as they just sound ridiculous: Spencer Foster. See? Too funny.

So. Can you help me, O Wise and Wonderful Swistle?

As you know, I love the book The Baby Name Wizard with all my baby-naming heart, and so I do love when it slips onto a problem like a well-worn glove. In this case, not only does the book have entries for both Calla and Lyra, but it puts both names in the same two categories: the “Little Darlings” category (short-and-sweet names) and the “Why Not?” category (for names that are not being used much despite having so much going for them). Let’s find some more choices from those two categories:

Little Darlings
Ada (Ada Foster; Kieran and Ada)
Britta (Britta Foster; Kieran and Britta)
Eva (Eva Foster; Kieran and Eva)
Lila (Lila Foster; Kieran and Lila)

Why Not?
Elsa (Elsa Foster; Kieran and Elsa)
Geneva (Geneva Foster; Kieran and Geneva)
Jill (Jill Foster; Kieran and Jill)
Joy (Joy Foster; Kieran and Joy)

(It’s Eve that’s in the Little Darlings list, not Eva, but I think Eva has a better rhythm and fewer Adam jokes.)

The name Kieran has a strong K sound and a strong vowel sound and a strong N sound, and I found a lot of names got tangled with it when I tried to pair them as siblings. Try for example Caris, a name from the Why Not category that I think is great with your surname: Caris Foster. But now put it with Kieran: Kieran and Caris. Or try Kieran and Ellen. Kieran and Kara. Kieran and Kira.

I can’t tell if the name Calla is like that or not. Is “Kieran and Calla” lovely and coordinated, or is it tangley? I like the name Calla a lot, and it’s terrific with your surname, so we’ll include it in the list and let everyone vote on it with the others. Let’s also include Lyra–which may or may not have a vowel tangle with Kieran, I can’t tell for sure.

Calla (Calla Foster; Kieran and Calla)
Lyra (Lyra Foster; Kieran and Lyra)

That gives us a nice long list. Let’s put a poll over to the right and vote on it! What should Kieran Foster’s sister be named?

[Poll results (207 votes total):

Ada: 21 votes, roughly 10%
Britta: 16 votes, roughly 8%
Eva: 17 votes, roughly 8%
Lila: 35 votes, roughly 17%
Elsa: 12 votes, roughly 6%
Geneva: 14 votes, roughly 7%
Jill: 15 votes, roughly 7%
Joy: 10 votes, roughly 5%
Calla: 46 votes, roughly 22%
Lyra: 21 votes, roughly 10%]

[Name update 10-10-2008! Carmen writes:

Thank you so much to you and your readers for your advice and suggestions; it certainly gave us more options to talk about. At least as much as I could convince my husband that we needed to STILL TALK about names! I had our little baby girl on Sept 29th and we named her Alexa Lenore. I agreed with your readers and really wanted Calla, but in the end my husband didn’t like it as much. Lyra was also nice, although we realized later that we were pronouncing it incorrectly (like Leer-ra, rather than Lie-ra) and only really liked it that way; we didn’t want her to spend her life having to tell people how to pronounce her name. So. Alexa it is. Her middle name is the same as mine, as her brother’s name is the same as my husband’s.

Thank you for posting my question. I’m sorry that we didn’t get to use your suggestions in the end, but we’re happy with Alexa and it suits her. Although you may have noticed that by using it, we didn’t follow our own rules. There IS a cute nickname (Lexi) but neither of us hate it, so we overlooked that fact. Also, her initials are ALF. Presumably by the time she’s in school no one will remember that stupid sitcom, right?]