Britta writes:

I’m so glad you agree that naming a boy is difficult. We have an 17 month old daughter whose name is Alexandra Rose. A lovely name, I think. She is generally called Ally, although I love all of her nickname-potential, including Alex.

So, I’m pregnant with a boy, due at the end of September. While we named Alexandra by 22 weeks, we absolutely cannot decide on a name for this little man. I like Luke. We both like Luke. In fact, if Alexandra was a boy, she would have been Luke. That, my husband says, means we cannot name this baby Luke. Because we already used it. Or because its a second-hand name or something. Whatever – I know – but I’m married to him. What’s your opinion on this? (I think if I kicked and screamed, he’d go with Luke, but I would like us to both love our baby’s name. Not merely tolerate it!)

He likes Michael Patrick. I hate it. The whole thing. Too Irish. Too boring. Too “Patrick.” I like more unique names. My suggestion was Beau. Of course, I’ve made many suggestions, but my husband is very picky on boy names.

Finally, after some pouting that we’d never name this tyke, my husband suggested John Lawrence. Which I like -I like the nickname Jack. And it’s a good, strong name. But again it is sooooo boring. My own name has never been in the top 1000 names and I love my name. My husband’s name is James – he is contsantly battling off people calling him ‘Jim’ and answering for the other 3 James/Jims he works with. I understand boy names sometimes need to be “stronger” and less unique, but JOHN? That must be the lifetime record holding most common name ever. I suggested Peter. No luck. I re-suggested Luke. Nothing. Come on! Those are Bible names. I’m not being crazy, here.

So, please help us! If it helps, the other girl names we agree on (you’ll see a trend) are Rebecca and Victoria.

Here is what I think: you should use Luke.

But! I’ve known other people who consider a name “used up” if it was a finalist for a previous baby, and so I’m not unfamiliar with that concept—and I know what you mean about wanting your husband to be on board with the name, not just giving in. Besides, if my entire advice is “You should use Luke,” then this post is over already and I am not ready for that.

For one thing, I want to talk about the name John. Paul, too, says the name John is boring. In fact, he says it is the epitome of boring. I think it SEEMS boring because it is so familiar and because it is used as a stand-in for Man’s Name (John Q. Public, John Doe, etc.), but that in actual usage it is a surprisingly satisfying name. I think many names seem exciting during the pregnancy and later seem ordinary (or worse, disappointing in their unusualness: e.g., “I had no idea Landon was so common! I thought we were choosing something unique but we know two other Landons already!”), but that the name John would be the opposite: with time, you would grow more and more surprised by it.

Also, while the name John FEELS common, it is not particularly. Cast your mind around to the children you know. Anyone named John? Many boys named John are named after relatives and called by a different name—and currently, many boys named John are given the name only so they can be called Jack. Actual boys named and called John? Few.

I also like the name Michael. These solid, classic boy names—I know what you mean about them not being very exciting to choose, and they’re not very exciting to announce, either. But with time, they sure do sit well.

Would it help if you got to choose the middle name? Many a happy compromise has been reached in this way. Your husband gets the common name he wants, but you get to choose something more unusual for the middle name spot.

In the meantime, let’s have a poll. It’s in the righthand margin. [poll closed; see below]

[Poll results (207 votes total):
Luke: 154 votes, roughly 74%
John: 43 votes, roughly 21%
Michael: 10 votes, roughly 5%]

[Name update! 10-04-2008 Britta writes:

We went with your advice and welcomed Luke Timothy into our family on October 1. Big Sister Alexandra is learning to say “Luke.”]

Katie writes:

My husband and I are expecting Baby #2 in a few weeks. We do not know the sex, which is driving me CRAZY! We have no girl name at all because we totally disagree on girl names. Well, actually we both like Anna. But have heard that “Anna Banana” is all she’ll ever hear, which isn’t so great. Care to comment on that one? (otherwise my favorite girl names are Caroline and Madeline. My husband’s are Brianna and Savannah–and we both HATE the other person’s choices and will not budge! Suggestions?)

But, this really isn’t my main question. I have two other questions about our boy names:

1. Our boy name, Andrew, was chosen a long time ago (when pregnant with our daughter). It was always, always my favorite boy name without question. But, now we live up the street from an Andrew, who is my daughter’s 2-year old friend and will be in her preschool and who we see ALL THE TIME. And, well……he isn’t MY Andrew. And he screams and bites and his mom is always screeching his name. SCREECHING! And it is kind of ruining the name for me. I like the nickname Andy, but not Drew and neither nickname sounds particularly great with our last name, which starts with a D (and it gets to D sounding with the nicknames). Also, it would be very confusing to have two Andrews running around, since we hang out every day. Is this name permanently ruined for me? What are the chances that we’ll always live right near these other people? And if so, will it just be too confusing? And will the name ever regain its favored status in my mind? Or will I always hear the screech and see the biting and screaming Andrew?

2. Also, the middle name we have selected for a boy is “Wesley.” This is based on the place name where my husband and I met. Is this weird? Would you find it weird to be named after a place your parents met? Because I kind of think it is kind of…..strange… now, but my husband really loves the idea. What do you think?

Okay, now on to the other naming issues!

I think Anna is one of the most perfect girl names there is, and if you agree on it and you don’t agree on any other names, I think you should use it. I do think the nickname Anna Banana is inevitable, and I’m sure a lot of Annas get pretty sick of it—but did you see that custom-printed M&Ms ad where they show “Happy Birthday” and “Anna Banana” printed on the M&Ms and a cute girl having a birthday? That made me think that although it may be a little tiresome, it’s still pretty CUTE. (I can just picture all the Annas clenching their teeth as they read this.)

I notice that your husband’s other choices both end in -anna. Are there any ending-in-anna names you like? Adrianna, Arianna, Elianna, Gianna, Joanna, Julianna, Lianna, Lilyanna, Marianna, Susanna?

And both your choices have the -line ending. Are there any ending-in-line names your husband might like? I used Think Baby Names (annoying site alert: tons of flashing, intruding ads, and they split the result list into many pieces so you have to keep clicking to new pages and seeing more ads) to find Adeline, Emmeline, and Evangeline (there were a lot of others, but it was names like Darryline and Gayline, which, what?)

About the name Andrew, that situation sucks. Well, what do you think? IS the name ruined for you? I asked Paul, “Hey, Paul, if we decided for sure on Genevieve [current top girl name on our list], and then we got to know another couple…” and I laid out the whole thing, and ended with “Would the name be ruined?” We both thought about it. First we both said, “Welllll, I dunno. Depends.” Then we both said, “Yeah, probably. Yeah, ruined.”

Would the rest of you like to give opinions on these issues?

1. Is it weird to name a child for where the child’s parents met?

2. What do you think of the name Anna? Is “Anna Banana” a dealbreaker? (Everyone named Anna, I’m particularly interested to hear from you on this: is it just kind of an eye-roller, or is it a constant torment and you literally wish you had a different name?)

3. Would that situation with the other Andrew ruin the name for you?

[Name update! 10-04-2008 Katie writes:

We named him Andrew afterall. Andrew Wesley. Thanks to all your readers who assured me it wouldn’t be weird to be named after the place your parents met. And sure enough, my perception of the name has changed favorably to my sweet newborn and not the snotty kid down the street! Thanks Swistle fans!]

Jennifer writes:

I am two weeks out from having baby #2 (a girl), with a 2 year old toddler son named Gabriel.

My dilemma is that my husband will not focus on having a worthwhile and productive discussion about the name for our impending arrival. So I seek outside input on a variety of combinations that I like, and perhaps this might help spur a decision making discussion for the two of us. Our last name is a crisp one syllable name.

Here are some that I’m mulling over:

Keira Madeline
Keira Allison

Madeline Fiona
Madeline Jane
*Is Madeline just too popular these days?

Fiona Madeline
Fiona Jane

If there are other names that one might suggest to include as a new combination(s), I’m certainly open to it.

Thank you very much for your input!

Fiona! Choose Fiona! …Er, I mean, let’s get started on a discussion of the options!

Fiona is my favorite from your list, I won’t try to hide it. It’s a steady resident of my own personal Girl Name List, and I think it has a lot going for it. It’s uncommon but completely familiar, and that’s a hard combination to find. I think it’s beautiful, feminine and strong, and I love it with Gabriel. Gabriel and Fiona. I think either middle name is good with it.

In my opinion, Madeline is not excessively common. It was #61 in the U.S. in 2007 (source: Social Security Administration), which makes it less common than the names Brooklyn, Destiny, and Nevaeh. Furthermore, its popularity is holding steady: it’s been hovering in the 60s/70s/80s rankings for the last thirteen years without any big lunges toward the top ten.

The name Keira, in contrast, was #1004 in 2001, but #128 in 2007. It’s a less common name than the name Madeline—and yet that’s a much more alarming leap in popularity. I’m also less certain of the name with her brother’s name when I say them aloud: Gabriel and Kiera.

Let’s put your six options to the vote. Poll is to the right. [poll closed; see below]

[Poll results (254 votes total):
Keira Madeline: 15 votes, roughly 6%
Keira Allison: 10 votes, roughly 4%
Madeline Fiona: 13 votes, roughly 5%
Madeline Jane: 42 votes, roughly 17%
Fiona Madeline: 49 votes, roughly 19%
Fiona Jane: 125 votes, roughly 49%]

[Name update! 09-29-2008: “Thank you all for the fantastic and very helpful feedback on baby names. We were blessed with the early arrival of our daughter on September 9th and decided on Fiona Madeline.”]

Wendy writes:

Hi Swistle folks!

My family could really use your help! We have a wonderful little boy named “August Josiah” who will be about 2 2/3 years old when his new baby brother is born. We just knew the new baby was a girl (doh!) and have the most perfect girl’s name picked out. Now we are at a loss. We need something that goes with August (or Gusto or AJ as he is often called), but have a few rules…

1 – We want something relatively unique, but nothing that sounds like a name out of the 1960s

2 – It can’t be the name of anyone we know (or relatives that are still living)

3 – Not the name of a month! Silly us – we didn’t mean for everyone to associate August with the name of the month!

4 – Would like something that matches the ‘strength’ we think August Josiah has. We don’t want the new baby to feel like second fiddle!

We have to be pretty careful with the initials, given that we keep liking names that start with “A”! :) Alliteration would be nice too, but we know we can’t be that picky!

Any help you can give us would be awesome.

[I asked Wendy how the surname is pronounced, and she answered:]

It is my husband’s name and the family originally had spelled it “Spiess” (more or less rhyming with ice). However, when they dropped the extra S to sound less German, the pronunciation moved to rhyme with bees. I pronounce it so that it rhymes with eyes because that is how easiest to convey it over the phone and for others to remember it. Long story short, I will let my boys pronounce it however they choose to! :) Sorry for no clear answer on that one!

The Baby Name Wizard recommends these brother names for the name August: Julius, Everett, Leopold, Forest, Theodore. My favorites from that list are Julius, Everett, and Theodore. Forest with August seems too noun-y to me.

All three of those names are strong and unusual. Let’s try them out with your surname and with the sibling name:

Julius Spies (JS); August and Julius
Everett Spies (ES); August and Everett
Theodore Spies (TS); August and Theodore

Gosh. All of those are good. Let’s find some more options:

Edmund Spies (ES); August and Edmund
Foster Spies (FS); August and Foster
Frederick Spies (FS); August and Frederick
Hugo Spies (HS); August and Hugo

Those combine nicely, too, I think. Edmund Theodore Spies. Frederick Julius Spies. Hugo Everett Spies.

Voting is in a poll to the right [poll closed; see below] as usual, and feel free to build some combinations in the comment section.

[Poll results (262 votes total):
Julius: 22 votes, roughly 8%
Everett: 106 votes, roughly 40%
Theodore: 50 votes, roughly 19%
Edmund: 26 votes, roughly 10%
Foster: 23 votes, roughly 9%
Frederick: 9 votes, roughly 3%
Hugo: 26 votes, roughly 10%]

Name update 01-29-2009! Wendy writes:

We have a name update for you! We ended up digging up a great family name from my husband’s side “Carsten”. It satisfied all of our criteria. However, Carsten was born (on December 27th), with red hair! Most of the names we had on our list brought up images of blondes and brunettes. While in the hospital we picked a name that wasn’t on our list and honors his Irish heritage and the other half of the family, Patrick. So, it is with great pleasure we announce the arrival of Carsten Patrick Spies!

Leslie writes:

I am 37 weeks pregnant with my third boy and husband and I can’t agree on a name. Our 17 month twin boys are named Luke and Samuel. I don’t want another plain name, but husband is set on something solid not trendy. Our last name has an OR so names like Forest, George, Ford do not work well. All names we like. I love the name Tate, but husband thinks we are setting our son up for years of torture. Does the word Taint ring a bell? Husband likes the name Truman, but too formal for me. I also like the name Truett, but husband not so much. Another name I like is Crew, although I don’t know if we are “cool” enough to pull that off and husband thinks it’s too trendy.

We both prefer 1 syllable names, we don’t want another L or S name, and we both like names you can shorten or nickname like Oliver/Oli. Is Oliver becoming too popular? A few names we can’t use: Wesley, Cade, Cody, Asher, Elijah. Please help! We’ll take any suggestions? This baby might arrive early.

Here was the difficulty I had with this one: the names you’ve used for your first two children are of a different type than the names on your current consideration list. Luke and Samuel are old, traditional, classic, solid, well-known, all-boy. Forest, Ford, Tate, Truman, Truett, Crew—those are a completely different breed. Luke, Samuel…and Truett. Luke, Samuel….and Forest. They don’t click into place. This makes finding a good third name a slippery business: what can fit with the first two, but be more to your current tastes?

Oh, the name Oliver! I love it so much, and it may be the answer to the problem. It is indeed getting more popular, but it hasn’t yet gotten out of hand: it was #140 in 2007. To put that ranking in perspective, that makes it less common than names such as Omar, Nolan, Oscar, Preston, and Sebastian. (The name Luke was #46 in 2007, and the name Samuel was #25.) It is, however, rising slowly but surely, and I’ve noticed lots of people saying they love it. I’d feel safe using it because, like the name Henry, it may get popular but it’s not trendy: it’s a classic, traditional name with long roots, so it ebbs and flows but it doesn’t spike and vanish. I like it with your other boys’ names: Luke, Samuel, and Oliver. Nice!

I don’t suppose you’d want to consider the #1 most popular boy name in the United States? The name Jacob is solid and not trendy, and it has a good nickname, and it’s excellent with his brothers’ names. Luke, Samuel, and Jacob. Luke, Sam, and Jake. That is one of the most perfect sibling groups ever. And even in the #1 slot, the name Jacob was only used for 1.0955% of baby boys. That means that if your local school has 30 children per classroom, the average will be only one Jacob per 6-7 classrooms. And if the classes are more like 20 kids, the average will be only one Jacob per 10 classrooms. That’s not bad.

How about Calvin, shorted to Cal? Luke, Samuel, and Calvin. Luke, Sam, and Cal.

James. Luke, Samuel, and James. Luke, Sam, and Jim. Luke, Sam, and Jamie.

Frederick. Luke, Samuel, and Frederick. Luke, Sam, and Fred.

Anyone want to give me a hand here? This is a tricky one. Let’s do a poll over to the right [poll closed; see below] with the few I came up with, but also leave your suggestions in the comment section. Remember: nothing that starts with L or S.

[Poll results (282 votes total):
Oliver: 115 votes, roughly 41%
Jacob: 93 votes, roughly 33%
Calvin: 33 votes, roughly 12%
James: 34 votes, roughly 12%
Frederick: 7 votes, roughly 2%]

[Name update! Leslie writes: “Just wanted to let you know that we went with the name Ian Wesley. Thanks for your help. All of our friends and family thought we were going to go with Oliver…which was a close 2nd!”]