Ryley writes:

My sister says I should email you. We are due with a baby boy on 12/13/08.
We are set on our girl names but boy names are a WHOLE nother story.. we can’t think of anything.. okay, I lied, we can think of things but nothing jumps out at us as “Our babies name.”

Important points. I have a unique name, Ryley. My husband is Aaron and our last name is Eaton. (so names that end with an N sound funny for the most part)
We like names that are unique, but not weird. (Doesnt everyone say that lately??) Something that is a fairly normal name but not used much…

Oh, It might be helpfull to know what we like for a girl. Our girl names of choice are:
Ellie (this is a must for my husband, but he will settle for this as a nickname)
Elliot (call her ellie)
Eliza
and my Favorite Alivia.

and now..Without further adu here is the list we have come up with : (disclaimer: Again, none of these jump out at us)

1. Elijah – We would call him Eli. This is my dad’s favorite. One of ours also, but we really want a little girl named Ellie one day. Eli and Ellie are too close in name.. for kids that aren’t twins..
2. Luke – good fall back name… but a little boring..
3. Joel – also a little boring..
4. Kyle – I don’t really know why I like this name, but I kinda do. Again.. not love..
5. River – When his sister in law was pregnant this was the name we were all pulling for. I LOVE this name.. but just don’t know if I actually could..
6. Joey – Boring.. but cute. Even before we knew what we were having his grandparents told us that they would really like a Joseph in the family. I was already thinking Joey at that point, but it made it a little more special.
7. Aiden – ehhh. I like it… but its a little trendy. Plus my cousin has a little boy named Brayden.. and it just sounds to close..but it would be cute to name him Aaden so it is similar to my husband’s name of Aaron.
8. Miles – OUR FAVORITE! but no one else likes it.. :( Which I hate.. If this baby was born today, his name would be Miles. We are totally in love with it. It still will probably be one of the top contenders.. but it makes me really sad that no one in my family likes it… Is Myles too femine? It would make it more like my name (Ryley) and I like that.. but too girly???
9. Milo – This got vetoed faster than Miles. But also one of our favorites. I just don’t feel like its a very grown up name.
10. Oliver – We like Oliver. Not love.. but strong like..
11. Preston – Aaron has a really good friend named Preston. But he’s a great guy..and we like this name too..
12. Elliot – MY FAVORITE! This was my first favorite. (Before Miles) it was actually one of my top contenders for a girls name (then call her Ellie) But I really like it for a boy also. BUT.. if we use this now, we loose our chance to use Ellie later. Since we’ll probably call him El.. or even Elli sometimes..
13. Mason – I really like Mason. It’s my sisters middle name. Which I really like. But sounds a little silly with Eaton.
14. Dylan or Dilan – Like this name.. but we’ve never given it a lot of thought. Just threw it out there one day and we both liked it, so it made it to the list.
15. Cooper – I just want to call him Coop! I like Cooper.. but we’ve never really seriously discussed it either..
16. Carter – Same with Carter. Like it.. just never thought much about it.

What do you think?

I think that after we remove the names that would interfere with a future daughter named Ellie, your favorite name on the list is Miles. The only downside of it is that other family members don’t like it—but they will come around. Miles Joseph Eaton (MJE) would be a terrific name.

Let’s put a poll over to the right to see what everyone else thinks. [poll closed; see below]

[Poll results (254 votes total):
Elijah: 2 votes, roughly 1%
Luke: 7 votes, roughly 3%
Joel: 3 votes, roughly 1%
Kyle: 2 votes, roughly 1%
River: 7 votes, roughly 3%
Joey/Joseph: 10 votes, roughly 4%
Aiden/Aaden: 2 votes, roughly 1%
Miles/Myles: 182 votes, roughly 72%
Milo: 9 votes, roughly 4%
Oliver: 9 votes, roughly 4%
Preston: 2 votes, roughly 1%
Elliot: 3 votes, roughly 1%
Mason: 3 votes, roughly 1%
Dylan/Dilan: 2 votes, roughly 1%
Cooper: 5 votes, roughly 2%
Carter: 6 votes, roughly 2%]

Simmone writes:

We are about to have our 3rd child and 2nd daughter. My husband and I have chosen Grace for the first name, but we are having a difficult time with the middle. We both like the feel of Grace Elizabeth, but this is where our question comes in. How do you feel about having 2 children with the same middle name? Is that ok? Or should we decide on something else to give the 2 girls different names? Do you have any other middle name suggestions?

Our other children are named:
Pearl Elizabeth
William (Liam) Luke

I think it’s fine to repeat a middle name, but I think it’s more FUN to find something different. And so let’s see if we can find some other middle names to throw into the idea pool:

Grace Amelia
Grace Angelica
Grace Cordelia
Grace Felicity
Grace Lavinia
Grace Olivia
Grace Veronica
Grace Victoria
Grace Virginia

And let’s take a poll, just to see the relatively popularity of these ideas. The poll is over to the right. [poll closed; see below]

[Poll results (256 votes total):
Elizabeth: 15 votes, roughly 6%
Amelia: 59 votes, roughly 23%
Angelica: 10 votes, roughly 4%
Cordelia: 18 votes, roughly 7%
Felicity: 7 votes, roughly 3%
Lavinia: 15 votes, roughly 6%
Olivia: 86 votes, roughly 33%
Veronica: 10 votes, roughly 4%
Victoria: 30 votes, roughly 12%
Virginia: 6 votes, roughly 2%]

Megan writes:

I have been waiting to for this to work itself out but now I am scheduled for a c-section in three weeks (November 24th) and we are still stuck.

I have two boys and this third is a boy also. Our last name is a Mc- My first son is William Wilson (named for his dad and his grandfather and his great grandfather….etc.) and my second son is Thomas Charles. We like classic/traditional/biblical names. We also like the nickname thing (William is often called Will and Thomas is often called Tom).

The first option for little brother is Charles William. This is my dad’s name (had I known I was going to have a third boy I might have saved Charles!) and it borrows from both of his big brothers. It also has the nickname thing going (Charles and Charlie). It wraps everything quite neatly and since this is the last child for us we wont have to worry about coming up with another name that also ties in later. My husband’s concern is that maybe it is not unique enough (since he will be named after his grandfather and both his brothers) and maybe we would be better off coming up with a different name all his own? There are lots of good boy names out there! (I pointed out to him that it was sort of funny he was worried about this as our oldest son has his exact same name but he was not swayed by this reasoning.) So my first question is: Is this kind of cool or weird?

If we go with a different name then we are considering as a middle name Jesse or Robert, both family names also.

My husband’s first choice for a first name is Matthew. I like it but am less crazy about Matt, which of course is what he will be called. It is ok, I just don’t LOVE it, as I did the names Thomas and William. Also, I am not sure about what sounds better: Matthew Robert or Matthew Jesse.

Other names I am throwing out there are Peter, Samuel, Andrew ( I really like the name Andrew and I like the nickname Drew better than Andy but is this confusing for a kid when they hit school, when what they are called and their real name don’t even start with the same letter?) and Benjamin. I am open to more suggestions!

Well, hm. I see what you mean! On one hand, I like the idea of the kids each having their own names. But as you’ve pointed out, they all have family names already—and I like THAT, too. In fact, I LOVE family names.

As I think on it, I think what I don’t like is when one child is named, say, Kaylie Amelia, and the next child is named Amelia Rianne. That gives me the feeling that the parents had two names they liked, and that the first girl got the first- and second-choice names, and the second girl only got the second-choice name. But what you’re doing solves that issue, and the fairness/evenness of it greatly appeals to me.

I think you could say that your third son was named after his grandfathers, but not call it “and after his brothers.” You could just be reusing the same family names, if you see what I mean, rather than making it as if the brothers are also his namesakes.

I also think middle names are rarely-seen creatures, and that in your case the round-robin aspect makes it less yours/mine and more ours. The only issue that would still niggle at me would be if each of your first two sons still had one name that was his own, and only your third son shared both names. But your first son shares both names with his father.

In fact, that gives me a new thought. Looking just at the name-sharing situation within your household, your first son is already sharing both of his names with his father. What if you used Charles for your third son, but then gave him a different middle name? Then your first son shares two names with his father, and your second and third sons share one name with each other. That’s more fair than your first son sharing two names with his father and one name with his brother, your third son sharing one name with his father and one name each with two brothers, and your second son sharing just one name with one brother.

Yes, that’s what I like best. Use your father’s name for the first name (it’s a great name, and great with the sibling names), and give him his own middle name. I like Charles Robert a LOT, and that keeps all the names family names. You could also do Charles Matthew, which gives you and your husband both your first choices.

I will be very, very interested to hear what everyone else thinks about this. If it were me, I’d name the baby Charles Robert or Charles Matthew, depending on what my husband preferred. But what if it were you guys? Would you use Charles William? Would you not use Charles at all? I’m thinking of this as a question not so much of “Which names do you LIKE best?” but of “What do you think of the naming-after situation?” Freestyle in the comment section, but I’m also putting a poll over to the right [poll closed; see below].

[Poll results (204 votes total):
Name him Charles William: 13 votes, roughly 6%
Name him Charles, but give him his own middle name: 67 votes, roughly 33%
Don’t use Charles OR William; make both names different: 124 votes, roughly 61%]

Robin writes:

Oh Swistle, help!

My sister and I are both a little perturbed at the name my brother and sister-in-law have chosen for their first boy. They have a little girl already, named Cora Evelyn, which I *LOVE*. Cora is a family name (paternal great-grandmother), and I think Evelyn is just so beautiful. The name they have chosen for their boy is Kevin Christopher. Nice, solid name, if a little too much “our generation” for the first name. They are honoring two good friends named Kevin with the first name, and my sister-in-law’s brother with the middle name. All good. Our issue lies with the fact that my brother is named after our paternal grandfather, and that he is the only one carrying on our very uncommon family name.

Both my sister and I had really hoped that he would name his first boy after himself/our grandfather (making the boy a trey), or after my father, to carry on the family name tradition. We understand, OF COURSE, that it’s not our baby to name, but we both can’t help feeling quite disappointed with their name choice. I mean, c’mon, you’re naming the baby after a friend, when you have a wonderful father or grandfather that you could honor? Our family is VERY close, and my sister-in-law is estranged from her own father, so I don’t see any snubbing issues that could arise from naming the child after a male on our side of the family.

Ok, so not really a baby-naming question. But do you have any suggestions for how to get over our disappointment?

Oh, this is a rough situation, and I loved you dearly for having such a firm grip on what the situation IS: the disappointment in a baby’s name.

And yet, your clarification of the issue also makes it tougher for me to answer. If I could lecture you sternly on everyone getting to name their own babies, about family traditions being nice but not obligatory, etc. etc. etc., I’d have a whole post right there. But because you go straight to the heart of the matter and ask how to get over the disappointment, I’m left stammering. I know what you mean! and I don’t know what to tell you. And I don’t know what I’d do if I were you.

It’s nice that you have your sister to vent to about it. The two of you can say, “Oh, it would have been SO PERFECT!” a few times, knowing you can’t say it to your brother. After that, I suggest a regimen of every time the subject comes up between you, brushing your hands briskly and saying to each other, “Well. The baby is already named.” Then swig back a shot (liquor, melted chocolate, whatever helps) and say, “To Kevin!” Repeat until the disappointment is numbed.

Pretty useless advice, I realize. Perhaps some of us have had experience with this situation and can chime in. What DO you do? What DO you do, if you’re disappointed by the chosen name? How do you, as Robin puts her finger right on it, “get over the disappointment”?

I’ve been emailing back and forth with a blogger who’s expecting in November, and we want to post her question here without compromising anonymity or blowing the surprise on her own blog. So here’s the basic question, boiled down to the bare essentials: What’s a good middle name for Audrey?

The surname is two syllables starting with B.

The parents like:

• less-common names
• traditional spellings for names
• older names (Eleanor, Pearl, Beatrix)
• movie names
• British/Irish names

Go!

My mother-in-law has been visiting for the last 10 days, 4 hours, and 49 minutes, so I have been short on posting time. But a question occurred to me just now, and so I’ve crept away for a minute to ask you: How much input/influence did the in-laws have (or TRY to have) on your baby name choices?

Jennifer writes:

Everyone I know seems to struggle with baby names, despite reading books and scouring websites. I’m no different. We’re expecting our second child, a boy, in November. Our 20 month old daughter is named Madeleine Lise. Lise is my mom’s name and she’s French Canadian. We always loved the name Madeleine but when we found out that the name was becoming common we decided to ditch it. We spent months arguing over other names until finally coming back to what we originally adored. Our Madeleine is everything to us and she couldn’t have been named anything else.

We have a few names that we like for our son. At the top of the list is Owen. My husband wants to be done with that – he thinks it’s perfect. I like the name but I’m not sure it’s IT. I really like Hayden, but my husband isn’t sold. I also like Emmett, which my husband does like but not as much as Owen. The names that appeal to me for girls are all traditional – Amelia, Charlotte, Lily, Jocelyn… you get my drift. For boys, I’m into masculine names – Kyle, Mason, Evan, Eamon and obviously the above mentioned. I’d love to hear what you suggest. We’re going with Charles for the middle name, after my father-in-law. Our last name isn’t tough but it does have that strong “u” sound, so the first name may be better with two syllables. I’m not into Michael, David, John, James, etc., mostly because my name is Jennifer and I grew up with at least 5 Jennifer’s in every class, and at least a couple Mike’s, Dave’s, John’s…you know, all those names from the 70’s that haven’t gone anywhere. My husband doesn’t like names that sound too preppy – Brody, Gavin (which I like), Cooper. He could be happy with a plain name like Michael (no offense to anyone with a Michael – just not my cup of tea).

I think the list you’ve come up with is good, and that Owen Charles Bewick is a wonderful name. And so I’m turning this one over to the readers: What would you choose? What would you add to the list of choices?