Tessa writes:

Hi Swistle!
I read your blog religiously & never thought I would be writing you about my naming indecisiveness. I have kept baby name “lists” since I was 9 years old, but it is so much harder when it’s permanent! I am 28 weeks pregnant with our second baby girl. My name is Tessa & my husband’s name is Tyson. Our last name sounds like Chaplin. Our first daughter is Lennox Elizabeth, named after my husband’s great grandmother’s maiden name. We are having a very hard time deciding on which name to choose for our final child. Help!

Since Lennox is an honor name, we would love to continue that trend (but as the middle name instead). My great grandmother’s maiden name is McKenzie, which works well as a baby girl’s middle name. That much we have agreed upon. If we were to have a boy, our short list included: Miloh, Silas, Cohen & Atticus. Looking back, we probably would have the same naming conundrum if we were having a boy! As for our small list of first names for a girl, we have 4 names that we are completely deadlocked on. I seriously have no idea how to “give up” one on the list & it would be so much easier if someone (you!) would just give us that extra push for a solid front-runner.

With Lennox (nickname: Leni) having a masculine name for a girl, I feel like the the name list we had when we were pregnant the first time are too simple & “girly”. So, our new list includes:

1. Palmer
2. Tatum
3. Piper
4. Clara

Palmer is my husband’s favorite. Palmer McKenzie Chaplin. It is commonly a boy’s name & I believe it compliments her sister: Lennox & Palmer. All of the opinions that I have sought out (on google, baby forums, ect) point all advice on staying far away from Palmer as a baby girl’s name. Everything from teasing in school to it is the “ugliest name ever” have come up. Is sticking to a generally masculine name going to set my daughter up for cruelty later in life? (My name, Tessa, was very uncommon in the 80s & I still rarely meet anyone my age with it- but I embraced the individuality of it, rather than being envious of more popular names).

I am leaning toward Tatum. Tatum McKenzie Chaplin. I know that it has been in the Top 500 names for a decade, but I like that it is considered a unisex name. I love the nickname Tate- Leni & Tate. My husband associates this name to Tatum O’Neal & all of the negative stigma that comes along with her. The only question I pose with Tatum is: is it weird to have a Tessa, Tyson, Tatum…. and Lennox? We purposefully stayed away from “T” names the first time! What about having the exact same initials (TMC) as my husband?

Piper is an appealing name to both of us, but we fear that it is becoming too popular. Some days we think that it is a happy medium between Palmer & Tatum, but also don’t want to feel like we have to “settle” just because it’s common & “cute”. Piper McKenzie Chaplin.

Clara is my grandmother’s name & the only name that we have carried from our first pregnancy name list. We both love the name but it has never been #1. It is an honor name & it has significant meaning, but is it too simple because of Lennox’s naming style? I am not sure if Lennox & Clara fits well as siblings.

We are definitely open to other suggestions. The name Wren was #5 & recently taken off our list. Our decision would be a lot easier if my husband or I could easily cross off any of these names, but we can’t. I would really like to have a name picked out before the birth, for fear of having a nameless child for days after delivery! We kept Leni’s name a surprise, even though we were 99.9% sure beforehand. With this being my last child (& juggling two childen under 2yrs old), I just want to have everything done by the time the baby gets here :) Please point us in the right direction!

I would take Clara off the list, which pains me because it’s on my own list of top favorites. It’s traditional and old-fashioned and entirely used for girls, and it’s on its way up in popularity (#167 in 2010). It isn’t that sibling names must coordinate, but the clash with Lennox (modern surname name used almost entirely for boys and not in the top 1000 for girls) is startling.

I think Palmer, Tatum, and Piper all work fine, but with downsides to each.

Palmer is the most similar to Lennox for female/male name usage; Tatum and Piper are both used mostly for girls. Palmer is also the most similar in popularity: not in the top 1000 for girls, while Tatum is #335 and Piper is #144. Palmer is also the best match in name style: it’s another clear surname name, while Tatum and Piper now sound like first names. Because of its excellent coordination, I’d vote for Palmer—except that it doesn’t have a good feminine nickname like Lennox does in Leni. For me, that would be a huge issue, and it balances the advantages of androgyny/surname coordination. In fact, after thinking it over awhile, for me it takes it off the list. (I don’t have the same feminine-nickname requirement for Tatum and Piper, because both names are already predominately used for girls.)

I think it’s fine to have three T names and one L name in the family, because the L child came first. But it does put a small strike against Tatum for me.

A mark against Piper is that it’s even more common than Clara: #144 in 2010, and rising.

The name Campbell came to my mind. Like Lennox, it’s a modern surname name; and like Lennox, it has a cute feminine nickname. Lennox and Campbell; Leni and Cammi.

Or Hollis. Lennox and Hollis; Leni and Holly.

Or Ellison. Lennox and Ellison; Leni and Ellie.

Or Winslow. Lennox and Winslow; Leni and Winnie. That’s one of my favorites.

Or Merritt. Lennox and Merrit; Leni and Merrie.

Or Maguire. Lennox and Maguire; Leni and Maggie.

Or Hatcher. Lennox and Hatcher; Leni and Hattie.

Or Padgett, which for me falls into the category of “I know it’s a girl’s name so it doesn’t need a girlish nickname.” Lennox and Padgett.

McKenzie would also be a good first-name fit, despite its relative popularity. Not only are Lennox and McKenzie both modern surname names (McKenzie is comfortably a first name now, but your spelling reminds people of its surname origins), and both great-grandmother surnames, but they sound wonderful together, all crackly and crisp. Lennox and McKenzie! I love it. You could use McKenzie Clara, and each girl would have a great-grandmother-surname first name and a traditional feminine middle name. But it sounds like you have already considered this and prefer it in the middle name slot, so I mention this only for the fun of discussing it.

I also recommend the post Choosing Between Two Finalists, which can work for more than two. Part of that post recommends seeing how you feel about the results of a poll, so let’s also have a poll over to the right for the original four candidates. [Poll closed; see results below.]

Name update! Tessa writes:

I was blown away by the awesome responses & baby name advice from your readers. You rock! I can honestly say that writing to you helped make our decision easier & we were 99% sure we had a name picked out only a few weeks after your input.

Tatum McKenzie was born one week early on February 24, 2012. She is now 2 weeks old & such a good baby!! And big sister, Lennox Elizabeth, loves her to pieces. We are so happy that we have our Leni & Tate, and our family is complete.

As soon as we started reading the positive responses about Tatum, we knew it was the winner. Also, the poll got SO many votes & we were pleased that Tatum was a favorite. We have gotten a few comments on the odd number of “T” names (Tessa, Tyson, Tatum…. and Lennox) but we are still very happy with it!

One of your readers suggested Harlow & I fell in love with that name immediately. Lennox & Harlow, Leni & Harley. I tried & tried to get my husband to switch, but I think he was already set on Tatum at that point. I loved the masculine suggestions that everyone came up with: Finley, Emerson, Harper, Rowan, and Bennett were some of my favorite “girly” boy names that we unfortunately couldn’t use due to knowing other children by those names. I also loved Hollis & Winslow (nn: Winnie) but my husband vetoed them. I cannot thank you enough for all of your advice!

R. writes:

Hi– Our last name is very “holy” and begins with an “L”!
I am 27 weeks pregnant and scheduled for my 3rd (and last) C-section on February 29th. We are super excited to be having a GIRL after 2 boys. The boys were relatively easy to name–my oldest is 7 and is Nathaniel (“Nate”) Thomas 1-ord–with Thomas being my husband’s middle name. The younger is 20 months–Zachary (“Zach” or more often “Zach-y”) Harrison 1-ord–with Harrison being an honor name for my dad, Harry, who passed away while I was pregnant with Zach.

Compounding our naming dilemma is a series of issues that have come about with the early pregnancy scans (downs syndrome scare, heart defect scare, hair lip scare, etc.) which have all turned out OK so far but caused lots of stress for the first 24 weeks or so and kind of made me worry about naming this baby too soon. (I had 4 pregnancy losses between Nate and Zach as well). Also, my mother has been recently diagnosed with cancer and is undergoing chemo right now–causing another set of family stress issues and conflicted feelings about the joy I have in this pregnancy.

Our naming style: We both like longer first names with a nickname that we use every day–but we also use the 3 names (Zachary Harrison 1-ord or Nathaniel Thomas 1-ord) when either child is in trouble (so I have to imagine saying the name in a stern tone while the child is misbehaving!). I am German/Scottish and my husband is Italian/Swedish and so far we haven’t been able to come up with any names that “go” with any of these thus our rather traditional “American” named boys. The only issue we had naming the boys was that I LOVE biblical boy names like Noah, Jonah, Josiah, Lucas etc. which, with the last name of “1-ord” really is just too much (Although both boys names do come up in the bible)! We have also chosen “family” or “honor” names for the 2 boys’ middle names so I feel pressured to do the same for this one. The problem is that my mom is Kathleen–which I don’t love as a middle–but that would be the most obvious choice. I do like Kathryn which is similar to how we changed my dad’s name to Harrison as an honor name….I don’t know how I feel about it at this point, but it is a possible middle name choice.

For this pregnancy I have made lists of girl names and then my husband shoots them down…he wants to use a name we had “picked” for the first baby that turned out to be Nate–but I don’t like the name anymore and it feels dated and already “used up” so I am unwilling to even consider it at this point.

Names I have considered:
Emilia Kathryn–right now is my top contender. I would go with Mia or Mia Kate as a nn. My problem with it is that it is pretty popular–especially when you add in all of the Amelias and Mias…have not pitched to husband b/c I don’t want to “lose” it as a name!
Bridget nn Britta or Gretchen nn Gretta–love both but husband does not like. Not sure about middle names with either
Tabitha–love, husband hates “Tabby” or “Tibby”
Daphne, Fiona, Felicity–can’t come up with usable nn’s for any of these with “1-ord”–husband doesn’t like
Abrielle or Briella–like both, but not sure about “Ella” with 1-ord–no idea about middle names for either
Alice nn Ali–like the simplicity, but not convinced it is “the one”
Brynne, Bronwyn, Brynlyn, etc. I like the idea but not the execution of these
I like Quinn as a middle name but it kind of feels like it comes out of nowhere in terms of our naming style…

I don’t want a super popular name and would like to stay out of the top 100 but it is not a deal breaker. We have never run into another Nate (mostly Nathan which I dislike as a nn) and we rarely hear of another Zach that is under the age of 12-15. Names we hear ALL THE TIME in our part of the US–and would like to avoid as names or nn’s– are: Abigail, Chloe, Lucy, Lily, Lila, Olivia, Kaylee, Kylee, Leah, Hailey, Hannah, Delaney, Isabella…I like these names and think they are cute, but they are in every daycare, preschool and primary classroom!

At this point I am at a loss–and, I keep thinking I have plenty of time to decide but we are getting a lot of pressure from family and friends regarding the name of this baby as Christmas approaches and I have a baby shower scheduled for January 14th that I would like to have personalized (if possible)! As a side note, I am an only child and my husband’s sister has no children so we have the only grandkids in the family….first and last grand-daughter comes with some pressure!

Help!

Does your mother go by Kate? That would make such a good middle name, though perhaps not with 1-ord. Or just changing the dated-sounding -een to a current -in sound might help: Kathlin is pretty. Also, Kathleen is how the U.S. initially translated the Irish name spelled Caitlin (which is pronounced more like Kathleen)—but since then we’ve also adopted the pronunciation KATE-lin for Caitlin. You could use Caitlin as a middle name, if you think your mother would feel honored by it.

But that’s always my sticking point with changing honor names: DO people feel honored, when it isn’t their name? It seems like it’s a double issue: first, it implies their name wasn’t liked enough to use; and second, they might not feel honored by a name that doesn’t feel like theirs. But people vary hugely on this, and some people are honored if even their initial is used, so this will depend on how things are in your own family and with your own mother. It helps that you’ve been through this already with your dad’s name, and have had a chance to notice your family’s (and especially your mother’s) reaction to an altered namesake name.

I am in favor of leaving it Kathleen: I think over time it will grow on you, especially if -een names make their expected comeback in the next generation or two. (Little aside: my mother considered giving me the middle name Grace after her grandmother, but couldn’t stand to give me such an ugly name. A generation later, here it is sounding lovely again and I would love to have it.) And I love middle names that add to the nickname possibilities: just as with Kathryn, Kathleen gives you Kate to pair with the first name.

Or, you could drop the idea of an honor name. It’s fairly common for families to run out of honor names they want to use, and also for families to prefer a different naming style for the girls than for the boys.

If you like Emilia but it’s too common, I suggest Emeline. (I’m thinking of the emma-LINE pronunciation rather than emma-LEEN.) Emeline Kathleen 1-ord, or Emmie Kate, or Emma Kate.

Or Anneliese? It’s German, and pretty, and I like it with the brother names: Nathaniel, Zachary, and Anneliese; Nate, Zach, and Annie.

Would your husband prefer Margaret over Gretchen? You could still use Greta, but it also opens up the possibilities of Meg, Maggie, Daisy, etc. Margaret Kathleen 1-ord. DAISY KATE. Maggie Kate. I love this name. I want it for myself.

Instead of Tabitha, would you like Agatha or Meredith or Meribeth or Bethany? I love Meredith 1-ord. Meredith Kathleen 1-ord, Merrie Kate.

Emilia and Briella make me think of Camilla. Camilla Kathleen 1-ord; Millie Kate or Cammie Kate. Same possible issue with the surname as Briella, though: a little bit of a ill-la-la with the surname.

Name updates! R. writes:

Felicity Kathleen was born on February 29th and is a happy little Leap Day baby! My mom was initially not on board with us announcing that we were using Kathleen…but now she seems pleased with the honor name (I think her “mood” about it also coincided with ending the chemotherapy–once she started to feel better, she was much more pleased with our decision). We still have not figured out a nickname that we agree on–but Zach (our 2 year old) calls her “Dee Dee” for Felicity and Baby, and so far that is her only nickname! Thank you for the input and help (and note that the headband below was a gift–but too funny not to share with the interwebs!)

 

Hello,
I was thinking the other day that I don’t read your baby naming site nearly as much as I did when I was actively having children so I re-read my question/your answer/and my update to:
Baby Girl 1-ord, Sister to Nathaniel and Zachary
and I was struck by something: We have a variety of nicknames for Felicity that I had never thought of prior to having a Felicity in the family.  That was a huge issue for using Felicity as a name—I just couldn’t get past the nickname issue (for some bizarre, pregnancy, hormonal reason).  So, I just thought that I would update you with our family nicknames in case someone else has the same issue with using Felicity as a name.

Lissy—started by our then 2-year-old, who couldn’t say Felicity.  He is 5 now and still calls her Lissy.
Lissy-Lou: which was a natural progression from Lissy; which then morphed into
LuLu (or just Lou): which is what I mostly call her—as in, “Come here LuLu” or “Lou—put that down right now!”
Luby-Lou: ?  no idea why
and my 10 year old sings a song with a verse that says:
Lissy, Lissy, Lou, Lou
Eats a lot of poo poo…which is hilarious and inappropriate!

We do call her Felicity intermittently and Felicity Kathleen when she is being a pill—Overall, it is such a fun name that I can’t believe I thought it would be hard to find a nickname that I liked.  Just thought I would share!

Thanks!
R

B. writes:

I never thought I’d need baby name advice, but here I am. I have a 4 year old son, and a less than one year old daughter and I am unexpectedly pregnant with baby #3 (definitely the last) due in April 2012. Our last name rhymes with Garnet (emphasis on first syllable). My son is named Brendan and my daughter is Bridget. We didn’t necessarily plan on two names with Br- but we didn’t see it as problematic either. They were names we both loved and had family connections.

Middle name: Probably going to be Maria in honor of my mother-in-law. Less concerned with it working with middle as I am with last.

Names we’ve considered:

Brynn (I like, husband doesn’t, and is it too cute to have three names have Br- starts?)
Fiona (husband loves, not sure I do. Shrek association?)
Bevin (I like, husband doesn’t)
Ellen (I don’t love, maybe variations? Kind of like Ellie as a NN)
Nora (probably out because of negative family association)
Maeve (probably out because of negative family association)

Names that are out (due to use by family): Claire, Kayleigh, most anything ending in -een (Maureen, Eileen, Kathleen, etc.), Meaghan, Catherine. I generally don’t love the idea of a hugely popular / trendy girl name (there goes Ava, Olivia, Emma, etc.) Husband likes Isabella. Feels far too popular/trendy for me. As you can see, we (generally) like Irish sounding names, but my husband balks at the more traditional names with spellings that don’t “match” the pronunciation (see, e.g, Aisling, Aoife, Niamh) — though I’ve advocated a phonetic variation like Neve.

I could really use some fresh suggestions and a new perspective.

Thanks!

 
I think I might not do a third Br- name in a row (I wouldn’t rule it out, either, but it’s a very distinctive theme so I’d want to be sure it was what I wanted), but I think I WOULD be hoping to find a B name I liked: a B name would keep the third child from standing out, but would also keep the theme from seeming too forced/cute. Some possibilities:

Brendan, Bridget, and Beatrix
Brendan, Bridget, and Bethany
Brendan, Bridget, and Bianca (similar to Fiona, but no ogre)

The trouble is, a LOT of good girl B names are Br. If you do go that route, I’d look for ones that have a distinctively different sound (i.e., not Brenna because it’s so close to the Bren of Brendan; not Brecken because it shares not only the Br but also the short-E and the N-ending of Brendan). I’ve put Brinley on the list because the -ley adds such a different sound—but the short-I and the N might make it too close to the Bren of Brendan and the Brih of Bridget. (Spelling it Brynley might remove some of the visual similarity, and also give you the Brynn you liked.)

Brendan, Bridget, and Braelyn
Brendan, Bridget, and Bria
Brendan, Bridget, and Briar
Brendan, Bridget, and Briarley
Brendan, Bridget, and Brielle
Brendan, Bridget, and Briley
Brendan, Bridget, and Brinley
Brendan, Bridget, and Briony
Brendan, Bridget, and Britton (Britten? Brittyn?)
Brendan, Bridget, and Bronwyn
Brendan, Bridget, and Brooklyn

If I weren’t going to use B/Br, I might look for a name with a strong B/Br sound in the middle (Gabrielle, for example), or I might find some other tie-in: Margaret, for example, to echo the ending sound of Bridget, or a strong D sound to tie it to the D sound in each of the other names. Some of these might not work with the surname, depending how close it is to Garnet.

Brendan, Bridget, and Aubrey
Brendan, Bridget, and Cambria
Brendan, Bridget, and Danica
Brendan, Bridget, and Gabrielle
Brendan, Bridget, and Greta
Brendan, Bridget, and Gretchen
Brendan, Bridget, and Gwendolyn (too rhymey with Brendan?)
Brendan, Bridget, and Juliette
Brendan, Bridget, and Keelin
Brendan, Bridget, and Kendall
Brendan, Bridget, and Madigan
Brendan, Bridget, and Margaret
Brendan, Bridget, and Meredith
Brendan, Bridget, and Sabrina
Brendan, Bridget, and Violet

Since you like both Ellen and Nora, Eleanor would be a nice way to get the sounds of both while diluting the negative family association. I’m also reminded of Lauren.

Ellen and Bevin and Brynn and Maeve make me think of Evelyn.

Fiona makes me think of Bianca, and also of Ione, and also of Catriona (I’m thinking of the four-syllable cat-tree-OH-nah pronunciation, rather than the Celtic three-syllable cat-TREE-nah pronunciation).

Oh, or Rowan! It’s similar to Fiona, Ellen, and Bevin.

Name update! B. writes:

Maeve Teresa was born on 4/18.

We decided it was silly to choose a name we didn’t love just to keep the B “thing” going (Bonnie, though, was a strong contender for a while). Though I loved a few of Swistle’s suggestions for the ‘br’ sound elsewhere, husband wasn’t on board with any. One of the commenters generated a nice list of strong Irish girl names, but I had difficulty selling husband on most of them (Deirdre, Aislinn, Caitlin each was a contender at one point, as was Maura). We went into delivery pretty set on another name (Fiona), but neither of us thrilled with the choice. Then she was born, and she just looked like a Maeve, and we haven’t had one moment of naming regret since. Thanks for everyone’s suggestions and help!

Meredith writes:

I enlisted your help a couple years ago in coming up with a name for our second boy. We are now pregnant again, and with a GIRL!!! But, we are once again having a hard time agreeing on a name. The middle name will be named after my husband’s grandmother, Jo. The name we like is Collyn Jo, but I’m thinking that after having 2 boys, I want a pretty, girly, feminine name and Collyn has a “boyish” ring to it. Our boys names are Reid Michael and Jace Ryan. Another name I like is Charlotte. Our last name is Northcutt, so something that flows well with that. Even though the boys both have one syllable names, I think our girl will need to have a 2 or 3 syllable name in order to go with Jo. Thoughts?

Thanks so much! I love how you put so much thought into the names!!!!

 
If you want to tweak Collyn to make it a little more feminine (though changing the i to a y already does a good job of making it clear to the eye if not to the ear), I suggest Calyn (rhymes with Alan), nickname Callie if you want it (an improvement on Collie). Calyn Jo Northcutt; Reid, Jace, and Calyn.

Another option, even more feminine, is Calla. Calla Jo Northcutt; Reid, Jace, and Calla.

Jo would also make a wonderful first name. Jo ______ Northcutt; Reid, Jace, and Jo.

Was Jo short for Josephine? That would be lovely, too: Josephine Northcutt is a wonderful name.

Collyn reminds me of Marin. Marin Jo Northcutt; Reid, Jace, and Marin.

Just sitting here mulling the brother names, I suddenly thought of Piper. Piper Jo Northcutt. Reid, Jace, and Piper.

I think Kiley would work wonderfully, too. Kiley Jo Northcutt; Reid, Jace, and Kiley.

I agree that the middle name Jo works best with a longer-than-1-syllable first name. If you would otherwise have liked the coordination of three 1-syllable names, a similar idea would be to give all three children 4-letter names. Some possibilities:

Ayla
Eden
Ella
Iris
Isla
Kaya
Kira
Lila
Lily
Maya
Mila
Ruby

Or you could choose a longer name to go with the middle name, but one that has a 1-syllable nickname. Laney Jo Northcutt—but Reid, Jace, and Lane. Rosalie Jo Northcutt—but Reid, Jace, and Rose. Caitlyn Jo Northcutt—but Reid, Jace, and Cait. Teagan Jo Northcutt—but Reid, Jace, and Teag. Skylar Jo Northcutt—but Reid, Jace, and Sky.

Or if Jo was short for another name, you could use that other name as the middle name instead, and then be free to choose a 1-syllable first name.

Name update! Meredith writes:

I really enjoyed all the thoughts, opinions, and suggestions I received from you and your blog readers on the naming of our baby girl! We’ve decided to go with Brynn Kathryn. Reid, Jace and Brynn. :)

Thanks again!!!

Elena writes:

My name is Elena and my husband Oliver and I are expecting our second baby – a girl – who is due on the 5th of January. We have a son named Max Oliver, and we absolutely adore his name. Fortunately we do not have the problem of being unable to agree on any names. We have three girls names that we would be happy to use in a heartbeat, but they have some issues that may make them unsuable. Middle name will be either Elena or May after me (family tradition).

Our top name is Alaia, uh-LIE-uh. There is the obvious problem of “a liar”. Infact when I told my mum that we loved Alaia her response was “Alaia? Like a liar? That could cause some problems.” Although the next day she told me that she actually really liked it, after she thought more about it. It sounds sooooo pretty when you don’t think of “a liar”. But I would hate to give my daughter a name that gives her grief. Another problem is that Elena and Alaia are kinda similar sounding, though I do go by Elle 80% of the time. So what do you think? Is Alaia usable? If we used Alaia she would be Alaia May.

Our second name is Ruby. Max and Ruby. Like the childrens TV show. Does that make Ruby unusable for us? We LOVE it, and we love how Max and Ruby sound together, but does it seem tacky? Like we were trying to copy the TV show? She would be Ruby Elena. Max Oliver and Ruby Elena. Oh it’s so cute! We are hoping to have one more baby, so if we had Max, Ruby and Theo (our favourite boy name) does that make it better?

Our third name is Mia. It comes with little problems, such as the repeating ‘M’ initial. Max and Mia. I think it sounds cute, but I don’t know if it’s too cutesy and tacky. We also know a few little girls named Mia, so I don’t know if it’s a bit popular (I know Ruby is popular too (at least in Aus), but we don’t know any). Also the middle name is an issue, Mia May sounds way too cutesy, but Mia Elena doesn’t sound right either because of them both ending in ‘a’. So yeah, I’m just not sure.

Our last name is James, so we really want a girls name that is clearly feminine. Some other names we have considered, but aren’t using are:
Scarlett
Amaia
Raina
Amelia

And like I said before, our favourite boy name is Theo, so if we have another boy this will most likely be his name!

So what do you think Swistle and readers? Are these names usable or unusable? Maybe a poll could be helpful. Suggestions for other names would be great too!

Another issue with Alaia is pronunciation: I wouldn’t have known how it was pronounced, and probably would have tried “ah-LAY-yah” first (I’d be thinking, “Maybe it’s like Alaina, but without the N”). After finding out the actual pronunciation, I noticed I immediately started using “a liar” as a mnemonic to help me remember how to pronounce it—unfortunately reinforcing that connection.

Names similar to Alaia that might avoid the issues:

Eliza
Isla
Lila
Linnea
Maya/Mya (same middle name problems as Mia)

My favorite is Eliza: to me it sounds almost exactly like Alaia, but without the liar-sound and spelling/pronunciation issues. Eliza May James; Max and Eliza.

My kids watched Max and Ruby, so for me it’s an instant and deal-breaking connection. I think if you had another child in between a Max and a Ruby it would improve things somewhat—but still not enough for me to take it out of the category of “Names that were unfortunately eliminated by other names used.”

Names similar to Ruby that might avoid the issues:

Abby
Alice
Daisy
Darby
Embry
Ivy
Libby
Lucy
Pearl
Phoebe
Prudence
Sadie
Shelby
Silvie
Zoe

My favorite is Ivy: the sassiness of Ruby without a children’s television theme song springing to mind. Ivy Elena James; Max and Ivy.

I also like Phoebe. It has the sassiness and also the -bee ending of Ruby. Phoebe Elena James; Max and Phoebe.

Max and Mia are definitely very, very cute, but not in a way that makes me think Mia should be ruled out (i.e., just cute, not tacky). One concern is whether having two 3-letter, M-initial names will make you feel backed into a corner when choosing a name for a possible third child.

Names similar to Mia that might avoid the issues:

Calla
Cleo (but would rule out Theo for a future child)
Gia (maybe not with James)
Isla
Lia
Willa

My favorite is Willa. It’s sweet like Mia, without crossing the possible Too Cute line, or backing you into a corner later. Willa May James; Max and Willa.

I also like Isla, especially since it appears on two of the lists: it’s like a cross between Alaia and Mia. Isla May James; Max and Isla.

Name update! Elena writes:

Our little girl arrived a whole week early on the 29th of December. Oliver and I could not decide which name was our favourite, but we managed to narrow it down to Isla May and Lucy Elena. We had decided to wait until she was born to decide. When we met her, neither of us knew what name she ‘felt’ like. When Max came to meet her we asked him if we should name her Isla or Lucy, and he said Isla. So she became Isla May. We are all in LOVE with our Isla, and couldn’t be happier with her name. I also love that Max got to choose her name…he tells everyone that he “choosed Isla”!

Thank you Swistle and to all who commented!

Candice writes:

Help please!
I am due in about 10 weeks with our third boy. We have Cade Bryan, who is 5, and Colin David Franklin, who is 3. Colin’s middle names are his 2 grandpa’s names, so we are set on honoring family. I am Candice and my husband is Bryan, and our last name is Faith. So obviously ‘Christian’ is not an option. We are having a hard time naming this last child! We are mainly looking at B or C names, but not exclusively. We like names that are somewhat unusual. Being a teacher, my goal is to not have my children be in class with someone of their same name. (although Cade has gotten quite popular since we picked it.) Here is the list we are considering, but by no means are we only going to use one of these. We are open to any and all suggestions! The top 7 are marked, the others are in no particular order. If this baby were a girl, she would have been Brinley or Lucy.

–Bryson
–Chase
–Owen
–Carson
–Max
–Cayson
–Cameron
Colter
Calum
Cyler
Camden
Casey
Coleman
Blake
Bryden
Brecken
Cole
Carlin
Kai
Brennan
Cruz
Andy

Any thoughts are greatly appreciated! thank you!

 
The name Cade had a peak in 2001 at #201, but since then has been steadily getting less common:

(screenshot from SSA.gov)

The name Colin is significantly more common than Cade, but has also been much steadier in its popularity ranking, which makes its popularity less noticeable. (Combining it with the spelling Collin, the name would be #70 in 2010.)

(screenshot from SSA.gov)

If your primary goal is to try to avoid classroom duplicates, I’d cross Owen off the list: it was #47 in 2010 and it’s still climbing. Max is trickier to figure out: it was #98 in 2010, but combined with Maxwell and Maximus (two of the more common long-forms) it’s already up to #46 so I’d cross that one off too. Brycen/Bryson together are #95; that’s getting more comparable to the popularity of the name Colin. Chase is #66 (and sounds like a command when paired with the surname); Carson/Karson is #71. I’d scratch off Cameron: Cameron/Camron/Kameron/Kamron was #40 in 2010, but it’s also used commonly for girls so that increases the chances of a classroom duplicate.

So from your list of favorites, I’d say Cayson is the best choice for avoiding classroom duplication. Even combining it with Cason, Kason, and Caysen, it was still only #253 in 2010: about as common as Cade/Kade, but still much less common than Colin and all the other candidates.

But the statistics are national so can be misleading: certain areas tend to have more of certain sorts of names. And statistics don’t take into account how similar the names Cade and Cayson sound: I think there might be some trouble with people getting the sounds confused and ending up with Case and Cayden.

So I think if I were you I might go with a riskier-but-still-not-TOO-risky name from the finalists: Brycen or Carson, I think. Either of those is uncommon enough to be statistically unlikely to have two in a classroom, but quite different in sound from Cade and Colin. If you might have more children later on, I’d choose Brycen to introduce the second possible initial early on. If three is it, I’d lean more toward Carson.

Or, I might move down into the list of alternates. Is Cyler pronounced with a soft C like Cyrus and Cyril, or is it the same as Kyler? If it’s a respelling of Kyler, I think I wouldn’t use it because of mispronunciation hassles. Colin and Callum are hard for me to say together, and Cole seems like a blend of Cade and Colin, but I think Colter or Coleman would work great: they LOOK like they’d sound too similar to Colin, but they don’t. Camden also seems like it would work very well.

 

 

Name update! Candice writes:

Thank you for your input and the advice of your readers! We have decided to go with Bryson Benjamin Faith. We have had some negative comments from family and friends that thought we should go with another ‘C’ name because we have Cade and Colin, but we think Bryson fits well with our family, especially considering my husband is Bryan. Thanks again for your help! Bryson should be joining us soon, and I’ll be sure to send a picture when he gets here!

Erin writes:

I am currently 22 weeks pregnant with fraternal twin girls and I am due January 29, 2012. I really have a hard time coming up with girl names but think I have one for Baby A. My problem is that I am having a really hard time coming up with a first name for Baby ‘B.’ Our last name is 3 syllables, starts with L and rhymes with “Lavender.”

My name is Erin, my husband is Daryl and our 18 month old son is Cohen Fox “Lavender.” I love boy names and have no problem coming up with them. If one of these babies was a boy they would have likely been Emmett Hawk (Hawk, because I love animal middle names for boys). I like double consonants and also liked boy names Beckett and Wyatt.

I don’t know if a description of my son might help with names, but he’s a quick idea. My son is blond haired with beautiful, coarse waves and he is blue eyed (born with a full head of black hair though that changed when he was 4 months old). I’m assuming my girls might also follow this trend. My husband and I are both dark haired but he has blue eyes and I have brown. My son is stocky and sturdy. He’s 35 lbs at 18 months old, but he’s also off the charts for height. He has big blue eyes, a cute broad but button nose and full lips with apple cheeks.

I am a maternity nurse and hear names all the time and I think because of that I really don’t like most of the top 1000 girl names on most charts.

As far as naming the twins, we have actually decided on Avalon Juno “Lavender” (Avalon actually came to me in a dream and I loved it) for Baby A and we know that we want Quinn as a middle name for Baby B.

I had originally picked Tabitha as a first name for Baby B but my whole family pretty much hates it (mainly because of the shortening to “Tabby”…I like the idea of Beth as a nn though), so I’m back to the drawing board. I recently took a liking to Everly and Ember but again I’m getting snubbed noses. I think Everly might be a bit to close to Avalon because of the soft vowel and then v sound (and you might get Avy and Evie for nicknames which are really close).

I prefer 2 to 3 syllable first names as well. I like names from fantasy/fairy inspired, or that are just off the beaten path but not too “out there.” Names already used by a couple of my cousins that I love are Briar and Brynn. I like nature type names as well. I really like Willow, but again…no family approval. So frustrating! I got a lot of flack about Juno, but my husband loves it and it’s a middle name so we are keeping it as is. I think it would be cute to have the name start with B (then we would have first initials of A, B, C, D, & E in our family), and thought Braeleigh was cute, but my husband didn’t like it because it’s a bit of a mouthful with our last name. I’m also not a fan of alliteration with our last name though so I’ve been avoiding “L” names.

Anything you could suggest at this point would be so helpful.

and

I thought I’d send an update on our naming process. We could still use a bit of help! I am almost 28 weeks pregnant now with fraternal twin girls. Baby A is still Avalon Juno “Lavender” at this point and we have decided on Baby B’s first name to be Brooke. We definitely want to use the middle name Quinn but I’m having a hard time with the flow of Brooke Quinn with the hard K sounds so close together. I thought of switching the middle names, but my husband doesn’t want the initials “BJ” in there. My sister has a friend with those initials as well and has had nothing but teasing for ages. The name Quinn is important for us to keep because it is a name my sister loves and she wants us to use it. Considering she was our egg donor for our IVF pregnancy, I really want to use it too. I’m sure we could compromise on the middle names and remove Juno (although we’ve liked that name since I was pregnant with my son), and have Avalon Quinn and Brooke ____ . So stumped!

Any help would be great!

Thanks

 
I wonder if any of the names your family doesn’t like (or any of the names you liked except that they didn’t work as sister names for Avalon) would work as middle names for Brooke.

Brooke Ember
Brooke Everly
Brooke Tabitha
Brooke Willow

My favorite from that group is Tabitha: Avalon Quinn and Brooke Tabitha. I like the way they’d each have a 1-syllable name and a 3-syllable name.

But looking at the logic puzzle presented in the letters, it seems like the easier part to change is the first name Brooke. That’s the name that’s currently preventing you from using Juno, which was unshakeable in the first letter and which you say in the second letter you’ve liked since you were pregnant with your son. It looks like it’s a matter of choosing which name you’d prefer to use, Brooke or Juno—and Brooke is a more recent choice, and one that doesn’t fit your first-name preferences as well as Avalon does.

The Baby Name Wizard mentions both Meredith and Bethany as names similar to Tabitha. I’d add Meribeth, a name we encountered on a child at the pool this summer and really liked. Avalon Juno and Meribeth Quinn.

Or Matilda. Avalon Juno and Matilda Quinn.

Or Minerva. Avalon Juno and Minerva Quinn. I like all the V sounds with your surname.

I wish Lorelei would work with your surname, because that would be so perfect with Avalon.

Ember reminds me of Cambria. Avalon Juno and Cambria Quinn.

Everly reminds me of Waverly. Avalon Juno and Waverly Quinn. V sounds again.

Willow and Briar remind me of Juniper. Avalon Juno and Juniper Quinn. I don’t know if the repeating June-sound would bother me or not; I might even kind of like it.

For a B name, one that comes to mind is Bronwyn. My impulse is to switch the middle names, but that lands you right back with the BJ problem, so it’s a little rhymey with Quinn. Avalon Juno and Bronwyn Quinn.

Another is Briony, which can be pronounced BRY-oh-nee as a botanical reference, or BREE-ah-nee as a modern sound-combination name. Avalon Juno and Briony Quinn.

Another is Beatrix, one of my own favorites. Avalon Juno and Beatrix Quinn.

Another is Bridget. Avalon Juno and Bridget Quinn. I like the repeating short-I sound in Bridget Quinn: it sounds happy and energetic to me.

If Brooke is set, I’d add Waverly to the middle name candidates. Avalon Quinn and Brooke Waverly.

Name update! Erin writes:

I just thought I’d drop a line to let you know that our baby girls have arrived! They made their debut 5 weeks premature at 35 weeks and 2 days. We wanted to thank you for your naming advice and for all the feedback it received. We decided to name Twin ‘A’ – Avalon Juno and Twin ‘B’ – Bellamy Quinn. I love their names!! The twins are fraternal and completely different. Avalon was the bigger and fairer of the two at 5 lbs 7 oz and Bellamy was 4 lbs 8.5 oz and has a head of dark hair. We are using the nicknames “Avy” and “Bella” for short. I do have a quick follow up question though…How would you spell “Avy” without giving it a hard A sound? Avy, Avi, Avie, Avee, Avey? No matter how I look at it, it seems to sound like Navy without the ‘N.’ For a 22 month old, Cohen is a great big brother too! Now we have our A,B,C,D,E family ;)

I have also attached a picture of the girls at 3 weeks old. Avalon is in the front, and Bellamy has her hand on her sister’s shoulder.

Thanks again!!

I would use Abbie/Abby as the model and spell it Avvie or Avvy.

Karla writes:

You’ve helped me before: http://swistlebabynames.blogspot.com/2008/06/baby-girl-or-boy-voisey.html.
We ended up having a boy, and we named him soren micah.

NOW, we are adopting a girl, and based on your help (and suggestions) from last time, I would choose Iris Mabel in a heart-beat. And am still very open to that…
BUT, our daughter is going to be close to 5 1/2 when we adopt her, and her name right now is Yan Rui (pronounced Yonna Roo-ay, with Rui prounouced as one syllable).
While we believe giving her a name that we have chosen is an important means of communicating her place in our family (I know there are different thoughts about this, but that’s where we stand right now), we wonder if it is best to keep it as similar to her name now as possible…..OR if not that, to at least choose a name that is similar in meaning.
If we go by meaning, her name means “happy” and “lucky”. Names that we have found that mean similar things are Felicity, Felice, Aida…I don’t mind any of these, except Felicity Voisy sounds weird. And Aida is too close to Adeline, our deceased daughter, and we’re not comfortable (nor do we feel its appropriate) to make our newest daughter any type of namesake (also based on Swistle fan commments from last time).
If we go with names that sound similar, we have only come up with Anna (pronounced Onna) Rae. What do you think?

Thanks again

I see what you mean. I feel the same way about names: that giving a name, because it’s one of the official acts of parenthood, can be an important symbolic relationship-establishing act—but that when the child in question is five, it’s more important to let her keep her own name. I’m imagining my six-year-old daughter and how she’d feel about changing her name to something else (even if it was something that meant the same as her name), and it’s giving me a wrenched feeling.

I wonder if it would work to use Yonna or Yana? It would be translating her name from one language to another, which is a common thing to do with names (especially if the name was originally in another alphabet), and as I say it and think about it, I think it’s a very pretty name. It’d distinctive and a little exotic, but easy to pronounce, and familiar because of names like Donna and Brionna. For unusual names, I love if there’s an easy thing to say to help someone understand the name, and Yonna has a perfect one: “It’s like Donna, but with a Y instead of a D.” Or “It’s like Brionna, but without the Bri.” I also think it goes well with the other sibling names, and especially with the sister name: Ezekiel, Basil, September, Soren, and Yonna is a nice mix. And I like it with your surname: Yonna Voisey.

Yes, I think that would be my first choice. I think I would translate her name to U.S. English and spell it Yonna or Yana; I’d leave her middle name spelled Rui because pronunciation issues are no big deal and even kind of fun when it’s a middle name; and then I would give her a second middle name of your choice, anything you like (though a name like Felice would very pleasing symbolically), and I’d make a big deal about how that is the name you are giving her now that she is your child and a part of your family.

What does everyone else think the Voiseys should do?

Edited to add: Karla writes:

I am sorry for the confusion….seriously, this is my LAST time writing you, because this is our last kid. :)  but apparently, there are various ways to say our soon-to-be adoptive daughter’s name, depending on tone (or something?)  While one Chinese friend told me one way, we finally got in touch with someone who is in contact with the orphanage, and our particular child’s name is not pronounced Yanna.  It is pronounced Ian (Ee-yen).  

While lots and lots of people suggested we not change her name, does that advice still hold when her name is an American boy’s name?  My opinion is that we should keep her name.  She is five.  We have already named our kids pretty unique names (Basil, September, Zeke, and Soren), so it’s not like she’d be in a family with a bunch of kids with really popular, normal names.  So if her name doesn’t follow trends, that might be okay.  Secondly, while we thought we were giving our boys names that were old-fashioned, but obviously male names, (Basil, Ezekiel, Soren), many, many people have assumed Basil is a girl if they haven’t met him yet.  And people aren’t sure about September’s gender either.  So….while there are not many female Ians that I know of (except the model Eyen), I wonder if people will just get used to it when they meet our daughter…Besides, are there enough gender-neutral names (Dillon, Reagen, Madison….) that are similar enough that Ian will just fit in?  Finally, if you agree with me on not changing it (even with this new information), I am curious how you would suggest spelling it.  I really don’t want to spell it Ian, like the boy name….I would like a different spelling….something more female….kind of like Leigh looks like a girl name while Lee would lean towards boyish.  I looked into different spellings and thought the British spelling, Iain, seems the most girly.  I KNOW she would need to tell everyone how to say her name, but at least not every teacher would look at it and think “boy”.  What do you think? 

Thank you AGAIN…..

Name update! Karla writes:

I know I emailed you again, for advice on our soon-to-be adopted daughter’s name, but we had to make a decision for the paperwork, so we did. 
While most of your reader’s suggested keeping her name when we all thought it was pronounced “Yanna”, which is what I was originally told, I wondered if their advice would be the same if they knew it was pronounced Ian, which is how it is actually pronounced (as we found out recently), since there is such an association with a boy’s name in America.  Well, we discussed it, and decided there were enough Dillons and Morgans and Reagans that were girls, so Ian would have to fit in! :) Especially since that is already her name!  So, we kept her name as suggested, but changed the spelling to Eyann, to make it look a little more feminine.  Thanks for everyone’s feedback.

Amy writes:

I am due with my second child on TUESDAY and I need HELP with a name. To make matters worse, the baby was not cooperative during the ultrasound and we have no medical reason to have another so we need to pick names for boys and girls. I love talking baby names and reading naming books & blogs, but my husband doesn’t like to talk about them at all which is not helping.

My first son is Owen Albert and our last name starts with B and ends with ss. My husband and I are Bryan and Amy – VERY popular names for our generation – I was one of 3 Amy’s in my first grade class and my husband was one of 4 Bryan Bs in his grade. We picked Owen just because we both liked it – its a little bit more popular than I’d hoped but so far we haven’t met any others his age in our small town. Albert is after my grandfather, who died just before Owen was born.

My main concern for our boys names are honor names and sibling rivalry. For a boy, one name that was on our short list for our first son but just didn’t seem to suit him was James Everett, after our 2 fathers. My issue now is that I’m not sure how I feel about naming my first son after a great-grandfather he never met (and only in the middle name) and then giving the second son a name after 2 grandfathers that he sees all the time – we all live in the same small town so we see my father and my husbands father very regularly, 2 or more times a week each. Does this seem like a reason for sibling rivalry to you? The other issue is that this “uses up” the only family names we like for boys, AND it means I’ve “used up” all the names from my side of the family leaving none for my sister (the only male options left on that side are Matthew which is always used for the oldest son of the oldest son and has been used already this generation and Elmer and Dudley – not appealing to either of us). On the other hand, I’m not sure how I feel about using one grandfather’s name without the other – is it insulting to use one and not the other when they both know James Everett was on the table at one point? And all the other boys names that were on the shortlist for Owen are either too similar to Owen (Evan, Ethan, Gavin) or have been recently used by close family or friends (Caleb, Colin). Other names I’ve suggested that my husband vetoed: Miles, Elliot, Neil, Liam. We have 2 requirements for our names – not a biblical name, boys names without a -y nickname (Robert to Robby, John to Johnny) because in my family the little boy nicknames stick for life and I’m not fond of them (and yes, I know, James violates both rules – my father is called Jim and is still called Jimmy by his brothers, but I’m willing to break the rules for a family name).

For a girl, my shortlist names are Claire, Maggie (short for Margaret or Marjorie) and Paige, but we don’t have a middle name yet. Claire is a family name, the others are just ones I like. My mother, grandmother & I all have “R” middle names, so that would be a fun tradition to continue but its not a 100% must.

So the overall question is: do you think its a problem to “use up” family names on the second child when you think you want 3-4 and leave none for my sister? And what about the sibling dynamics with a second boy named after such close relatives? Should I go with my gut and say that if I have to ask it, then its probably a problem? And if this is too much of a problem, what in the world should I name this kid?

Feel free to edit this down to a more managable post, the overall question above is what I most care about.

Thank you!

Name update! Amy writes:

Thanks to all your help Swistle & commenters! Although I still really liked James Everett, it just didn’t seem right for this baby either, and although I liked the suggestion of Everett James I didn’t like the idea of always saying “which Everett? Grandpa Everett or Baby Everett?”. In the last few days before he was born, one name came forward as a top contender, which had been our “joke” name for our first son – Porter. It was an inside joke to us, since we brew our own beer. But with the rise of occupation names and -r ending names like Connor and Asher, Porter grew on us more & more. I also found out that Everett was a family name – it was also middle name for my husband’s grandfather and at least one generation back as well. So on 11-11-11 after much deliberation we welcomed Porter Everett and are very happy with his name. Thanks again!

Melissa writes:

I am kicking myself!

I am due in one week with our third boy. We have known for months and months that we were having a boy, and we worked very hard at getting pregnant. We had a tough pregnancy that we thought we’d lost several times, and then about midway through, we learned he was quite small and had to watch him closely with near weekly scans and measurements and an amnio we weren’t planning on having just to prepare us for anything that might come.

Well, the results were relieving, and he’s finally doing great and growing, and I’ve been really relaxed and happy for the first time in this pregnancy – for the last month of it!

I think I am in denial, however, as we still don’t know how we are going to NAME HIM!

With our other two, we were clear, certain and excited by our selections. Our first son is named Tate Fletcher. Our second son is Nicholson Scott, but we call him Cole. So we have Tate and Cole. Our last name sounds like Secret.

At first, I thought I really loved the name Leo for our new little guy, given how small and what a fighter he is. He’ll be our lion cub. But I wasn’t sure my husband was all in as he was a bit ‘Meh’ about it. So I came up with a few other names, floated them and then we sort of left it.
We just knew we’d know when the time came. Well, we don’t, and the time is nearly here… Aaaaargh!

Our short list (I think) is:

Jude
Leo
Luke
Corbin
Rafferty (with nn Rafe)

And our middle names are:

Henry (after Mark’s Grandfather)
Lloyd (my dad, who is loved by all)
Christopher (my brother I adore and who is the best uncle ever – no kids)
William (a family name)

I am not against Luke per se, but feel it is awfully popular. Mark likes it but could go with Jude. I like Jude, but worry it may be trending toward the girls (grrrrrr…another great boy name that the girls snatch!) I also think it sounds like we’re sort of trying too hard with the 3 short, strong, one-syllable names. I love, love, love Rafferty, but my best friend does NOT like it. It makes me nervous. If I had to pick right at this second, I’d probably go with Leo Christopher, but I’m worried I’m settling with the easiest and that I’ll regret it.

I’m really struggling here, and Mark has no clue either. I’ve been reading your blog for months, LOVING it, and never thought I’d come close to needing you!

Help?

Name update! Melissa writes:

About 4 months ago, you posted a panicked plea from me on your blog about the naming of our third son. I’m writing with an update!

Our beautiful boy was born on 11/10/11. Though I was a touch disappointed with the date, as I’d SO hoped for my due date of 11/11/11, we soon realized it was actually fortuitous :)

Why was the 10th fortuitous? Because the 10th of November is the feast of Pope St. Leo the 1st. A loving and benevolent man by all accounts.

Our son is Leo Henry. Our little lion cub. He is perfect, as is his name.

Thank you for your help and to all who wrote in!