Author Archives: Swistle

Baby Girl or Boy, Sibling to Kole Leann

28 Replies

Well, let’s get back to work.

This is a fun one for me. Last year we did a post discussing the name Cole for a girl, and I mentioned that one thing to consider was the potential difficulty of choosing a sibling name—or maybe not:

If your list is mostly “boy names for girls,” and a point in Cole’s favor is that it’s usually used for boys, then I think you’re all set: correcting people will be fun, and you will be able to find plenty of similar names for future daughters. (But I find myself hoping you have trouble and we can help; that would be a really fun list to make!) Perhaps you could give each daughter a traditionally-boy first name and a traditionally-girl middle name, as you’d be doing with the name Cole Leann. Brothers seem like less of an issue: I don’t think you could choose any name for a boy that would make it clear that Cole was a girl, and it’s common for parents to have a somewhat different naming style for daughters than for sons, so I think you could just go with your own preferences.

Emphasis added, because in my inbox this week was this email:

Hi Swistle,
Sorry it’s taken so long to update!!! Little baby girl Kole Leann arrived in August! Her name fits her perfectly!! Your response and the replies from readers really helped us with our final decision. It prepared us for the responses some people may have and encourage us to go with our gut!

We’re now pregnant with our second!! We would appreciate any help from you and readers for sibling names for Kole! I think we may want to stick to the single syllable theme. It’s still early so we don’t know the gender but we’re so excited!! We would love any suggestions!

Thank you!!!

 

WE’RE ON.

So for boys, I’ll say what I said before: I think you can go with pretty much whatever you like. Last time you mentioned Lane, Jonah, Brooks, and Mitch. Kole and Lane is most unisex, if you want to go for that. Kole and Jonah, Kole and Brooks, Kole and Mitch—they all seem like they’d work equally well, each giving a different tone/style to the sibling group. If it were up to me, I’d choose Kole and Lane or Kole and Brooks.

Girl names are the fun ones here. My own preference is for the style within a sister group (or brother group) to be similar: there’s no rule against sisters named Kole and Josephine, but if I were in charge of the rule book I might make at least a note about it. I think it would be fun to search for another one-syllable name used mostly for boys, with a feminized spelling and a girls-only middle name. I’m not saying I think such a thing MUST be achieved, just that I would enjoy the hunt.

I like Flynn. In 2015 it was used for 15 new baby girls and 360 new baby boys. I think the “Lynn” element gives it a feminine sound; and the Y, while not an altered/feminized spelling, gives it a feminine look. Kole and Flynn.

Ross has potential, I think. It was used last year for 8 new baby girls and 157 new baby boys. It’s reminiscent of Roz, and of the unisex Joss. Again it lacks a way to feminize the spelling, but that’s the detail I’m least concerned about. Kole and Ross.

Oh, oh, oh, how about JUDE? It’s sometimes used as a short form of Judy, but more often as a given name for boys. I really like this option. Kole and Jude.

Bo/Beau. Those of us who took French may balk at the Beau idea (in French the word is masculine and means handsome), but I like how it’s visually the first syllable of beautiful. I also like the sound of the name: a bow as in a ribbon gives it a feminine feel. Kole and Beau/Bo.

Something like Dane or Dean? So close to Jane or Jean. Kole and Dane, Kole and Dean.

Lane would be nice for a girl as well as for a boy. Kole and Lane.

Jace. Kole and Jace. I like the style match here.

Jules. Kole and Jules. I don’t like this style combination as much.

Blake. Kole and Blake.

It’s not one syllable, but I think Percy would be darling on a girl. Kole and Percy.

 

Because Kole’s middle name Leann is a family name, my vote would be to find another family name for a sister, something definitely girl.

Baby Boy Martinez, Brother to Elijah

32 Replies

Dear Swistle,
We named our first son Elijah. Our second son will be born on January 10th. Since we found out the gender, I have been very anxious about his name. My husband and I can agree on girls names but not boys! Gabe likes “Samuel” as the formal name, but would want to call the baby Sam. I like it, but don’t love it. When we had Elijah, my top pick was “Micah.” But when the baby was born we both looked at him and decided he looked more like an Elijah. My top pick this time (that my husband Gabe agrees to) is “Maxmillian” and we would use the nickname Max. I like it–but don’t love it like I love Elijah’s name, but I like it more than Samuel. I have many names I do love, but due to close family relationships–we can’t use as a first name (Dominic, Cameron, Sebastian). Names I love my husband won’t agree to are; Rafael, Jonah, Andre, Mattias, Mateo. My husband’s last name is Martinez which we are using for our children, so he doesn’t want the first name to be too ethnic.

I still love the name Micah, but it is my little bother’s name who has been estranged from most of the family for several years (he has a controlling wife who has cut off ties with most of his friends and family). I don’t want to honor him in any way by using the name, and since I have only seen him once in 11 years, it wouldn’t be a name conflict (Big Micah, Little Micah). My parents are so upset by the situation (my mom has nightmares about Micah’s wife), I think my mom is opposed to me using the name but is too polite to say. So it has kind of soured me on using the name Micah.

My husband’s brother named all his 4 kids with the letter “I” which I dislike very much. For that reason I would prefer this second baby have his own initial—not an “E.”

We both come from big Catholic families. My family is very tall so my parents named us unusual names so we would never be called “Big Bob” if there were kids in our classes with the same names.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. This boy is coming in 76 days! We are already booked with the hospital.

Anxious Mom Kendra

 

The name Elijah has had an interesting twist to its style path, as have the similar names Noah, Ezra, and Isaiah: they’ve gone mainstream. When I was a child, if I’d thought about what names would be good sibling names for an Elijah, I would have said it HAD to be another intensely biblical name; now, I would say it has to be something similarly hip and modern. It’s a good illustration of how subjective and shifting naming style is.

I don’t see any possible way to name your son Micah. Your brother’s name is Micah and you want to be absolutely sure not to honor him in any way; certainly naming your son the same name would be perceived as an honor. Your parents are deeply upset over your brother Micah’s estrangement from the family, to the point of your mother having nightmares; a grandson named Micah would be a constant reminder of the other Micah. Absolutely you should not use this name. Can we use a black permanent marker to cross it off the list right this second? I feel like crossing it off on my computer screen. Holy pete, definitely not Micah.

Are you set on Maxmillian for the longer form of Max? I think I would go with the more traditional Maximilian instead, unless you have a reason for using the other form (e.g., if it’s an honor name). Samuel/Sam and Maximilian/Max both seem like nice options. Eli and Sam, Eli and Max. It’s understandable if you don’t love the name Max as much as you love the name Elijah, since the name Elijah is already attached to your dear baby. But if it doesn’t seem quite right, let’s see if we can come up with more options to consider:

Aidric
August/Gus
Benjamin/Ben
Isaac/Ike/Zac
Felix
Jasper
Joseph/Joe
Malachi
Nathaniel/Nate
Ruben
Simon
Xavier

 

 

 

Name update:

Dear Swistle, Our second baby boy  was born on January 10th at 10:10 a.m. We struggled coming up with a name we both liked, my husband wanted Samuel/Sam, and I liked Maximilian/Max (the only name he approved on my list). We avoided using my brother’s name (Micah) because it caused pain to my family due to a long estrangement (Micah’s wife has isolated him from most family and friends, and he has allowed it).
We named our second son Maximilian Dominic Martinez. We almost left the hospital with no name since we couldn’t agree.  At the eleventh hour, my husband finally caved on Maximilian and he picked the middle name of Dominic (which happens to be my favorite name and the name of our littlest nephew!).  “Max” is the little brother of Elijah Blue (2 years, 4 months old).  Eli and Max.  We are adjusting to less and less sleep as Elijah wakes up often with Max at night, and isn’t very happy having to share his parents so far. We hope the next child, if we are so lucky to have another child, is a girl —only because we agree on girl names! Thanks for all your help and your readers help!
Kendra

Baby Girl Tennis-with-a-Gr, Sister to J@ck J0seph

36 Replies

Hi Swistle! My husband and I are expecting our second (and likely final) child in February. It’s a girl. We have a two year old son named J@ck J0seph. His first name is one of the few we agreed on, and his middle name is a family name on my husband’s side. Our last name rhymes with ‘tennis’ but starts with Gr.

We like fairly traditional/ preppy names that easy to pronounce and spell. I’m fine with classic/ popular but not so much trendy/ popular names. If baby was a boy we likely would have named him Reid or Graham. For a while I thought we were set on Evelyn and then in a week’s time I swear I met/heard about five different Evelyns and it made me doubt our choice. Now we’re having trouble even generating a list of enough girl names we like. Boy names were so much easier for me!

Possibilities:

Evelyn (bonus that it was my great grandmother’s name)- We can’t agree on what we would call her. Evvie? Evie?

Elise- this is growing on me

Amelia- this was my favorite for a long time, but it has risen in popularity since then and husband is lukewarm

Claire- I would say this is a clear 4th choice, behind the other 3

 

Possible middle names:

Rebecca- my middle name

Elizabeth- family name on husband’s side

 

I think I’m still leaning towards Evelyn Elizabeth or Evelyn Elise (I like the double E’s since our son is double J’s, but it’s not necessary). Do you have other suggestions for us? Thank you- I promise to send an update!

 

The rise of the name Evelyn has been interesting to me. I have an aunt named Evelyn, so I’d mentally grouped the name with other names (Nancy, Carol, Barbara, Deborah) that were still being actively used by the mothers/grandmothers and so weren’t yet ready to come back around for new babies. It’s more typical for names to sound good right around the time everyone who had the name last time has, er, departed. But Evelyn broke away from the pack and came back early.

Well, or maybe not actually early: although I do have an aunt named Evelyn, the name last peaked in the U.S. in 1915, when it entered the Top Ten for one single year. It dropped pretty steadily after that, settling into the 200s rankings in the 1970s-80s. Then:

(screenshot from SSA.gov)

(screenshot from SSA.gov)

Hello! Back for another round! Evelyn is a nice old name, and I think it’s great with J@ck. I think you could wait and see how the nickname works itself out, unless there is a nickname you actively dislike. I love your idea of doing double initials again; I’d vote for Elizabeth since that’s the family name. J@ck J0seph and Evelyn Elizabeth.

Claire is my own top favorite from your list, but I’m less enthusiastic about it if it’s well behind the other three for you. Do you like Clara any better? J@ck and Clara, very nice.

I’m less fond of Elise, but it’s hard to put a finger on why. I’m not crazy about the repeated S ending of Elise _ennis, that’s part of it.

Let’s see if we can come up with a few more names to consider. I like the idea of her sharing your middle name. Just for fun I was going to see if I could come up with a list of repeating-initial names in the right style, but I only found Rose and maybe Rosemary, and J@ck and Rose is probably too much Titanic. More first-name options to consider:

Eleanor. It has the rhythm of Evelyn, the El- of Elise, and a nice assortment of nicknames. J@ck J0seph and Eleanor Elizabeth.

Abigail. Along the lines of Amelia. I love the sound of J@ck and Abby.

Eliza. I love it with J@ck. Rules out Elizabeth as the middle. People differ on this, but I love the sound of a repeated -a first/middle: Eliza Rebecca.

Molly. Some of the sounds of Amelia. J@ck J0seph and Molly Rebecca.

Cora. One of my friends has a daughter named Cora, and it strikes me pleasantly every time I hear it. J@ck J0seph and Cora Elizabeth.

Lydia. This name, like Evelyn, surprised me by coming back into style before I’d expected it to. J@ck J0seph and Lydia Rebecca.

I also like the idea of naming her both of the family middle-name options: Elizabeth Rebecca. J@ck J0seph and Elizabeth Rebecca. That’s just PACKED with classic.

 

 

 

Name update:

Hi Swistle- You helped us with some name ideas for our baby girl back in November. I was really encouraged by all the positive feedback for Evelyn Elizabeth and we felt confident that was her name. But then- literally the same day that you posted our question- long distance friends had a baby and named her Evelyn. What are the odds?  So we had to decide how much that mattered to us, especially since we rarely see them. I loved your suggestion of Eliza and really tried to sway my husband. But in the end, we just couldn’t shake the feeling that she was meant to be named Evelyn Elizabeth- and it suits her perfectly. So far we’ve been calling her a mix of Evelyn, Evvie, and Ev. Thanks for all your help!

Baby Girl Ramires: Naomi, or Go Back to the Drawing Board?

40 Replies

Hi Swistle,

I’m 29 weeks pregnant and still struggling to choose the perfect name for our baby girl. After considering several, we thought we settled on Naomi as the perfect first name.   Our second place name was Kelly, which was still a little to British and gender neutral for our taste.  We’ve also considered Valentina, Cecilia and Jill.  Recently, I have decided that while I still love the name, Naomi does not sound nice with our last name Ramires. (Ramirez with an “s”)  The whole process seems to have started over again.  I have read several name books and looked at all of the websites and apps.  Nothing feels quite right.

My husband likes only names that sound traditionally/classically American or Italian. We both would like the name to be easily spelled and pronounceable.  Finally, it has to sound right with the last name Ramires.

We have three other stipulations:

– Can’t be in the top 50 most popular names of the year
– Can’t end in the sound “rah”
– Can’t be gender neutral

Should I just stick with Naomi and hope she gets a better last name someday?  Or, do I keep searching for the perfect name?  Is this just a normal part of the naming process?

Thank you for any help and advice you can provide.

Best,

Michaela

 

My vote is that there’s nothing wrong with the sound of Naomi Ramires. I’ve been saying it over and over, and it continues to sound nice to me. If Naomi felt perfect and nothing else seems right, I think there are two main possibilities:

1. This is cold feet. It’s normal to doubt the name once it’s chosen. There were options, they were considered…and now it’s over? Maybe it’s not right. Maybe we should think more. What if there’s a better name out there, and we just haven’t thought of it yet? Maybe we should start over.

2. This is not necessarily about Naomi sounding wrong with Ramires, but is instead about having actual doubts (as opposed to cold-feet doubts) about the name Naomi, possibly for reasons that need more poking around to discover.

 

From this distance, it’s hard to guess which one it is. It sounds more like cold feet to me, but I don’t want to dismiss it as cold feet if it’s genuine concern. If you really don’t want to use the name Naomi anymore, then it’s good to have this time to re-think. I might suggest taking a week off from thinking/talking about baby names at all, and then begin again.

But if you really DO want to use Naomi, and you HAVE gone back to the drawing board and you don’t want any other name, and your only concern is about how Naomi sounds with the surname, then I recommend this exercise: Get out a yearbook or an employee directory or a class list or a phone book, or fast-forward to the credits of a movie. Look at all those names. A lot of them are not ideal, if you consider them closely. And yet it doesn’t end up mattering: they just seem like normal names.

I don’t even see Naomi Ramires as non-ideal to begin with. But if it doesn’t sound quite right to you, it may still fall into this nice wide “non-ideal but absolutely doesn’t matter and just seems like a normal name” category.

I also recommend removing the word “perfect” from your baby-name search. I don’t think it’s a useful word, and I think it can unnecessarily increase stress. A baby’s name doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be a good serviceable choice. If you happen to find one that feels perfect, then that’s a lucky bonus—but it doesn’t have to be perfect in every way to be an excellent and satisfying choice.

 

 

 

Name update:

Hi Swistle,

We decided on Naomi Raquel Ramires.  I was definitely having cold feet. Still struggling with the middle name, I decided to just let my husband choose. Naomi’s middle name is his sister’s first name. It is perfect. I couldn’t imagine her being named anything else.

Thank you!

Best,

Michaela