Hi Swistle. I need help naming my baby girl who is due at the end of January.

I love naming other people’s kids but have had the hardest time with my own. I have identical twin boys named Henry and Grey. Our last name sounds like the word myth with an S in front (think: the second most common American last name). When naming my twins, I specifically didn’t want matchy names- especially because they’re identical. I thought/think they balance each other nicely. Henry grounds Grey and Grey modernizes Henry (though Henry is trendier than I anticipated) in my mind. Adding a third name to the duo has me stumped. I feel like one twin name will be the outlier in style depending on which direction I go with a girl name. We will most likely have a fourth child. I used to think I cared more about a well-coordinated “sibset” but my taste in everything else leans a bit eclectic so I have let that go a little bit. A name we love is most important but I also want to like it with the boys’ names. Popularity statistics don’t always translate to real life in my experience so I’m not overly concerned with that either. Though, I think I can safely say I wouldn’t ever want to use a Top 10 name. That said, my girl name list is still all over the place and I’m having a hard time committing. My husband doesn’t really contribute names, he just says yes/maybe or no but is pretty easy to work with. I feel like no progress has been made for a while, though. And now I’m finding myself pretty apathetic about the whole process and I’m not sure why. Have I not found the right name? Do I need to see her first? When we finally settled on Grey and Henry (and their corresponding A and B middles) it was like the stars aligned and it felt just right, like I had solved a satisfying puzzle. I’ve not had that yet. So here is the list:

Perry- A longtime favorite of mine. My husband likes it but isn’t certain it’s “the name”. Probably my front runner but I’m second guessing myself. I like that all kids will share E, R, and Y in their names. Name websites put it in the “crotchety old man names that are cute for girls” section but to me it seems more akin to the Poppy, Posey, Piper set (all names I like, just not on my short list). EDIT: After writing this a childhood friend of my sister named her baby girl Perry! We were so surprised. I NEVER hear this name. She lives in my parents’ neighborhood and goes to church with them and we share many friends and acquaintances in common (and on social media, which is an eyeroll but also reality). I just don’t think it’s usable anymore. She’s very nice and might not mind but it would be startling, I think, for most people to hear me use it a couple months after her. I’m sad but my mind is 99.9% made up that I can’t/won’t use it. I just loved the flavor of this name.

Quincy- Super cute to me. My husband likes it. He prefers Quinn but doesn’t mind a longer given name.

June- Love this name. It’s the month of our anniversary. I’m having a hard time fitting my preferred middle names with it (but that’s not a deal breaker). I also don’t love a one syllable first with a one syllable last name but it’s also not a deal breaker. And I find myself especially attracted to one syllable names so I’m not fighting it.

Hattie- A cute family name. I don’t love the idea of shared first initials, but again, not a deal breaker. This one was well received by my in-laws and my husband had a more positive/enthusiastic reaction to it, as well.

Campbell- Another longtime favorite (before I even had kids) but I’m not sure it’s the one. I love surname first names. I though it was out of the running but my husband brought it up the other day and I remembered how fond of it I am so it’s back on.

Wren- Too similar to Henry? My husband isn’t sold. I love this name. It seems like the perfect girl name to me. But maybe not with my last name?

Greer- Too similar to Grey? There is a small town in our state called Greer that has a lot of meaning for us, especially my husband. I thought I gave up this name for Grey. I felt it was more important to name the male baby I did have versus the female baby I might one day have, which was the right choice. But I’m regretting it now, to an extent.

Frances- Another family tree name. The idea of a little girl nicknamed Frankie makes my ovaries glow. And I love every nickname for Frances. I’m just not sure Frances feels like my baby. But I want it to. The feedback I get when I mention this name is mostly forced smiles, raised eyebrows, and polite nods, which gives me pause.

Names my husband has definitely vetoed: Winnie, Louisa, Elouise, Caroline (he likes the nickname Coco but not Caroline and there are no other long names for Coco that we like), Fallon, Ivy, Arden, and Ada.

If this baby was a boy I was set on Roman. My husband liked Silas (though was worried about all the S sounds with our last name).

What would you choose from our list now that Perry is out? I decided June was my definite pick and have been telling people that’s her name but now I’m not so sure. I feel like I need to meet her first maybe? But I’m open to more suggestions. Nothing could make me more indecisive at this point- ha! Though I’ve entered and re-entered all these names into Nameberry and looked at similar names and lists of names containing my search I am left feeling like there are some I’ve missed or overlooked.

Thanks!

I’d be interested to know how many of us, seeing Henry and June together, think of the 1986 book or the 1990 movie. It seems like a faint connection, and you’ve been crowd-testing the name presumably without anyone bringing it up and you crossing it off the list as a result—but on the other hand, I have neither read the book nor seen the movie, yet I made the association and I know the gist of the plot. On the other-other hand, the names Henry and June ought to be familiar enough to have many associations beyond those. But back to the other hand, for me it’s like Will and Kate: each name separately doesn’t make me think of the royal pair, but the names together immediately do. But back to the other-other hand, it makes me feel sad to consider removing June. It’s such a great name. And I like the way it’s a word name like Grey, but more in the style of Henry, tying it to both.

Wren does feel too similar to Henry to me. And Greer does feel too similar to Grey to me, in appearance as well as in sound. I don’t think that means you CAN’T use them, but the slightly surprising similarity would be part of the package deal of the name.

Let’s see. If we do remove those for similarity, and if we also remove June, we’re left with: Quincy, Hattie, Campbell, Frances.

I love Frances/Frankie so much, and it seems to me that glowing ovaries is a very good sign. I also love that it’s a family name.

I might remove Hattie for its similarity to Henry: not just the starting H, but also the ending y/-ie.

Quincy and Campbell both seem like good options.

I’m interested in the split between the surname/unisex type names on the list (Perry, Quincy, Campbell, Greer) and the more traditional/girl names (June, Hattie, Frances). Do you find yourself leaning more toward one group or more toward the other? Would you be fine with a name from each group if your fourth child is a girl (Quincy and Hattie, for example, or Campbell and Frances), or would you prefer to have both names from the same group? The Campbell and Frances pairing appeals to me in this way: that Campbell has the feminine nickname Cammie, and Frances has the boyish nickname Frankie. Well, of course this doesn’t need to be decided right this minute, but I do think it can be helpful for the narrowing-down process.

Let’s go back to some of the names that are ruled out or might be ruled out, and see if we can find more options.

Perry is an interesting one. The sound to me is light and feminine; the look is out-of-style boy name. I’m also interested in the way the rhyming names are out of style: Barry, Carrie, Gary, Jerry, Larry, Mary, Sherry, Terry—except for Harry, but even that isn’t extremely popular. I wonder if you would like Percy, or Winslow. Percy may be too familiar as a boy name because of the Percy Jackson series. Winslow reminds me of Campbell in that it has a good feminine nickname (Winnie). Oh, but Winnie is on the veto list. Hm.

I’m finding it difficult to think of names similar to June. Jane and Jean and Joan spring to mind, but none seems sufficiently similar, and Jane with your surname seems almost tongue-in-cheek. Well, you know, maybe Joan, now that I think of it longer. I would definitely be ready to hear Joan again, and it has that little zing of surprise. Henry, Grey, and Joan. I do like that.

Or Sloane. Very different in style, but I thought of it because of Joan. Henry, Grey, and Sloane.

Or Luna. It has some similarities in sound, but the style is quite different. Henry, Grey, and Luna.

Rose is a name that’s in my own “similar to June” file, but such things are so subjective. Henry, Grey, and Rose.

Maybe Ruby? Henry, Grey, and Ruby. They all end in -y, which is interesting. Ruby has four letters (and could be considered a color) like Grey, but has two syllables like Henry. I love it with your surname.

I continue to be drawn to the idea of using a name that is a word name like Grey, but is more in the style of Henry. Something like Wren, June, Rose, Ruby. Pearl? Henry, Grey, and Pearl. Opal? Henry, Grey, and Opal.

Lane or Laine? Henry, Grey, and Laine. Cute nickname Laney/Lainey.

I wonder if you’d like Isla. Henry, Grey, and Isla. I might feel a little pressure then for the next child to have a name starting with F or J, to keep all the initials in that little section of the alphabet.

Lark is similar to Wren. Henry, Grey, and Lark.

Mirren is a bit like Perry, a bit like Wren. Henry, Grey, and Mirren.

That makes me think of Minerva, one of my own favorites. Henry, Grey, and Minerva.

Or maybe Cleo? Henry, Grey, and Cleo. Minerva and Cleo both feel to me like adding a third style, which gives you the Happy Assortment in sibling names, instead of having two of one style and one of another style.

The name Greer makes me think of Brooke Shields’s daughter Grier; her other daughter is Rowan. Henry, Grey, and Rowan. Though that rules out Roman if your next baby is a boy.

Name update:

I had the baby this week and we decided on June. We went to the hospital knowing it would be between June, Perry and Campbell. It was an obvious choice once we got to see and meet her- it fits her perfectly. I really appreciated reading everyone’s responses!

Dear Swistle,

As a fellow name nerd, I adore your blog.

When we first started thinking about future children many years ago, my husband and I decided on Edith and Henry, and we were happy to have that done and decided. Three years ago this month, Edith became a reality, and today she is an opinionated toddler. Her baby brother is now due at the end of March.

However, a ton of people must share our taste because since having our first baby, I have met so many tiny Henrys I can’t even count them all, including children of close friends and colleagues. We live in New York City at the moment but travel to the UK a lot, where it is even more common and at number 15 on national name lists. Popularity doesn’t bother me so much conceptually; a lot of nice names are very popular, but from a practical standpoint, I realize he would be Henry P. all throughout school and possibly within work cohorts as well. Also, Edith’s name feels a lot more fresh or as if we put more thought into it, and it doesn’t really seem fair.

I grew up with a very common first name in the 80s and absolutely dreaded the first day of school every year when I would have to go by “first name, last name initial” to account for all the other name sharers. Other people don’t seem to be bothered by their own common names at all. I wish I could predict my son’s preferences!

That said, we are considering some alternatives. Albert is a family name, and I like the nicknames Albie and Bertie, at least until he tells me to knock it off. My husband likes Phillip, and his English grandfather’s name – Ralph (pronounced “Rafe”), which would not be pronounced that way in America. I like it pronounced Rafe, but not otherwise. I like Arthur but he does not.

Do you have any advice or alternatives for me? We are going in name circles. Don’t like surnames as first names. Middle name will sound like Cadlier and last name sounds like Pairton.

Thank you so much in advance!

Former Henry-Lover

I see what you mean, and so I am torn. On one hand, I want to urge you to use the name you love/chose, even though it has become more popular; I love the idea of you choosing your kids’ names long ago and then those children actually coming to be. On the other hand, the gap between the popularity of the name Edith (#526) and the popularity of the name Henry (#29) is wide, and it sounds as if some of the shine has come off the name Henry for you; and if you were saying “But now we HAVE to use it because we chose it long ago!,” I would be arguing vigorously that you were under no such obligation. So. Where does that leave us?

Reading your letter a few times, my feeling is that you would prefer to use a different name at this point. Before we move on to that, I will make sure to say that I do think sticking with the name Henry is also a good, valid option. In the U.S. the name is only at #29 as of 2015, given to less than half of one percent of new baby boys: on average, that’s approximately one Henry per 13 classrooms (assuming a class size of 30, about 50/50 boys/girls). Because even the most popular names are given to a smaller percentage of babies now than they were in the 1980s, the name Henry currently has popularity equivalent to a name barely in the Top 50 in the 1980s, such as Dustin or Kenneth. You may have had a Dustin and/or a Kenneth in one of your classrooms when you were a child, but statistically speaking he would be very unlikely to have needed to use his surname initial. Still, if you are currently living in and traveling to areas with more Henrys than typical, it is possible your Henry would sometimes have another Henry in his class, and would need to go by Henry P. or Hank or Henry Cadlier or some other option. Could you ask your friends and colleagues with Henrys if there are repeats in their classrooms?

If you decide to choose a different name, I think Albert and Phillip are both fabulous choices with Edith. I have a soft spot for the name Albert, so that would be my vote.

I think Ralph-pronounced-Rafe would be a huge headache in the United States, and not one I’d want to deal with as either the parent or the child. I suggest considering it as the middle name, if Cadlier is not set in stone. Albert Ralph Pairton. Phillip Ralph Pairton.

Henry would also make an excellent middle-name option, if you are reluctant to let it go. Albert Henry Pairton. Phillip Henry Pairton.

I’m having a little trouble with the Social Security site this morning, but it appears the name Edith was last popular in the 1890s and early 1900s. I looked at boy names from that period and found these possibilities to consider:

Alfred Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Alfred
Edward Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Edward (not sure about both names beginning in Ed-)
Franklin Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Franklin (not sure about the sound of Franklin Pairton)
Frederick Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Frederick
Leonard Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Leonard
Louis Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Louis
Oscar Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Oscar
Robert Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Robert
Russell Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Russell

These are reminding me of a post we did the other day: Baby Girl or Boy Lutter-with-a-C, Sibling to Theodore and Edwin. Looking at that post, I’d also like to add Harvey: Harvey Cadlier Pairton; Edith and Harvey.

Name update:

We ended up with an Albert (Bertie)! Sometimes I still wonder about Henry and I think if we ever accidentally had another boy we’d probably still use it.

Hello! We are at a baby naming stand still! We are pregnant with our third and do not know the sex. We do know if it’s a girl, her name will be Maura Lotenia nn Lottie (first name is my MIL and second is my middle and is Cherokee for flower- so my family says). This has been our girl name every pregnancy. If we had more than one girl the other names would have been Roslyn Adele and Fiona Ruth- all honor names. My name is Azure and my husband’s name is Patrick J@hn.
We have two boys named Theodore and Edwin middle name Michael. Third boy will also have middle name Michael- honoring a friend who passed. Both go by their full first name the majority of the time.
My husband and I love the name Simon, but after naming Theodore we didn’t think we could do it.
Other names we have considered:
Franklin (my favorite, husband doesn’t like)
Thomas (family name on both sides and leader until- my Dad passed away this Sept. It was his middle name, but it would be awkward for it to be viewed as specifically honoring him as our relationship was complicated)
Phillip
Stanley
Lawrence
Louis

I have been reading your blog for 4 years since trying to name my first! I’m hoping that you or a reader can suggest something old fashioned, but fresh, that will catch my husband’s interest!
Thanks! Oh and due date is Feb 19!

I particularly love Louis from your list; that’s on my own “sad I won’t get a chance to use it” list.

Another such name on my list is Harvey. Theodore, Edwin, and Harvey.

I’d also suggest Frederick, especially since you mostly use full names. Theodore, Edwin, and Fredrick.

The -bert names are starting to meet that “old-fashioned and fresh” mark for me: one of my kids had a Robert in class last year, and I’m a fan of the name Albert. Theodore, Edwin, and Robert. Theodore, Edwin, and Albert.

I also find the name Alfred very appealing. Theodore, Edwin, and Alfred.

I think Warren fits the bill perfectly, except I’m not sure how it sounds with Edwin; I think there may be too many sounds in common.

I’m fond of Gordon; not only do I like the name, but it taps into pleasant Sesame Street memories. Theodore, Edwin, and Gordon.

I had never much considered the name Roger until I saw somewhere that Hodge used to be a nickname for it. HODGE. That is so cute. Theodore, Edwin, and Roger.

I might be ready to hear Douglas again, especially in full form like that. Theodore, Edwin, and Douglas.

Howard once seemed impossibly old-mannish to me, but now it’s starting to budge back into view. Theodore, Edwin, and Howard.

Name update:

Baby name update!
Our Third baby BOY was born at the end of February… We decided on Franklin Michael for the name!
We were between that and Donal (which was not on my original list).
If we ever have another, I’ll be writing for an opinion on Donal as a name! Thanks for all your help and suggestions!
Azure