Dear Swistle,

My husband and I are expecting our first baby, a boy, in late July. We would love to honor my mother’s family by using her maiden name as either his first or middle name. (I recently lost my grandmother, whom I loved very much, as well as an uncle. The past two years have been hard for my family, and this baby is a joy and sign of hope for all of us.) That name is Hale (pronounced hail). The baby will take my husband’s last name, which is said like Will-yums. I like that Hale is uncommon, since his surname is very common.

We like Hale Alexander. Hale Hudson is another idea. I also love Ezra Hale, but my husband isn’t a fan of the name Ezra. Other boy names we like are Leo, Ronan, Sebastian, Silas, Arthur, Tate, Rhys, Luca, Archer, and Louis.

Do you have suggestions for middle names that go with Hale as a first name, or first names to go with Hale as a middle? Nothing sounds 100 percent perfect to us just yet.

We plan on having at least one more child. If we had ended up with a girl, we liked Clara, Julia, Ruby, Elodie, Esmé, and Isla. We likely would have named her Clara Hale—Clara sounds like my grandma’s first name, and they would have shared initials.

Thank you for your help!

I think I would use Hale as a middle name. It has two issues as a first name: it sounds like the command “Hail,” and it’s one of the pronunciations of the word “hell.” Neither of those things is a huge deal (how often does anyone say “Hail” anymore? and no one is going to think you named your child Hell, even if you move to an area where that’s the local accent), but together they motivate me to find a first name that sounds great with it—maybe another family name?

From your list, my favorites are Louis Hale, Arthur Hale, and Leo Hale. (I like Ezra Hale best of all.) If possible, I would avoid looking for a name that is 100% perfect; it’s too high a goal, especially when trying to incorporate an honor name.

More options to consider:

Aidric Hale Will-yums
Elliot Hale Will-yums
Everett Hale Will-yums
Frederick Hale Will-yums
Gideon Hall Will-yums
Julian Hale Will-yums
Oliver Hale Will-yums
Simon Hale Will-yums

Hello,
My husband and I are expecting our first child in March. We opted to not find out the gender and have nailed down our girl name, but our boy name, or should I say middle name, is uncertain. My husband’s family has the following naming requirements for first born males; first name is James, middle name must start with “A.” His last name is very common, Thompson.
One of our faves middle names is Anderson, however, I think the duplicate ending “-son” is an issue.
There are not many A male names that we both like other considerations are Austin and Alexander.

Other things that impact the name, if we have additional children I would like to use a family surname as a first name and thought Anderson is a surname and would be a cool linkage between all names.

Please dissect away! And thank you for your help.

I would love to see your husband’s family’s naming tradition die out. This may be an ill-advised third cup of coffee + a decade of dealing with baby-name letters talking, but how much longer are we going to let men take decisions away from women by claiming “tradition”? How many men would accept a situation in which the woman said the tradition in her family was to use her own surname for the children, plus her own first name, plus a middle name starting with a particular letter? Sorry, honey, I’d love to let you have input on your child’s name, but I can’t: it’s tradition in my family to take that decision away from the fathers.

Or could we just change ONE of their three requirements, since you can’t find an A- name you like? What if the baby has his father’s family surname AND the first name his father’s family has chosen, but YOU get to choose a middle name AND it doesn’t have to start with an A? Is there no crumb you can be thrown here? Must a tradition be allowed to force you to choose a name you DON’T LIKE for your child? Why is the tradition (which has no feelings and doesn’t care at all if it’s followed or not) being given priority over you?

Sigh. Fine. Husband and his family will get to choose everything, and we will help find an A- name you don’t hate. I would start by looking in your family tree for A- names and surnames. And at the very, very least, YOU should get the full decision about WHICH A- name to use: you should not have to find an A- name you BOTH like, especially when there are so few of those. I wish your husband had been the one to apologetically suggest that it would help make the situation more fair if you got to choose YOUR favorite middle name from the list he and his family have severely restricted to names beginning with A-; but since he has apparently not done so, I will be the one to suggest it.

I don’t think there’s any problem with the repeating -son, if Anderson is the middle name, unless the tradition dictates that you will be saying the names a lot—for example, if the boys in the family are known by their middle names, or by first-and-middle. If you use Anderson later as a first name, the -son/-son issue will be much more apparent.

I’m sure you’ve pored repeatedly over the A- section of the baby name book, so I doubt we can suggest anything you haven’t already thought of, but sometimes hearing others express enthusiasm for a name can be helpful. If it were me, and if I had been altered in such a way that I was not kicking and screaming but instead was allowing Paul and his family to continue this tradition of hogging the name decision, here are the names I would have on my list:

James Abraham Thompson
James Achilles Thompson
James Adrian Thompson
James Aidric Thompson
James Aladdin Thompson
James Alan Thompson
James Albert Thompson
James Albus Thompson
James Alcott Thompson
James Alfred Thompson
James Alistair Thompson
James Ambrose Thompson
James Anders Thompson (not if you want to save Anderson)
James Apollo Thompson
James Archer Thompson
James Arlo Thompson
James Arrow Thompson
James Arthur Thompson
James Atticus Thompson
James Avery Thompson

With a very common first name and a very common surname, I’d be looking for a distinctive middle name. I probably wouldn’t go as far as Achilles or Aladdin, but I’d want to consider them. My guess is that I would end up with Abraham (for Lincoln), Alcott (for Louisa May), Alfred (just really like it), or Arlo (just really like it).

Hello-
We are 17 weeks pregnant with our third child and ITS A BOY.
We have two daughters Parker Elizabeth and Reese Marie Eve
Our last name rhymes with Obee (o-bee) and starts with an S.

We are 99.9% sure we will be using James as a middle name.
Names we like Connor, Landon, Cooper
(We LOVED Decker but it’s too close to Parker so it’s off the table 🙁).

Looking for help!!!

Thank you,
Sara

The name Decker made me think of the name Deacon: similar in sound, but loses the similarity to Parker. Parker, Reese, and Deacon.

Or Declan. Parker, Reese, and Declan.

More possibilities:

Beckett; Parker, Reese, and Beckett
Brecken; Parker, Reese, and Brecken
Broderick; Parker, Reese, and Broderick
Caden; Parker, Reese, and Caden
Elliot; Parker, Reese, and Elliot
Finian; Parker, Reese, and Finian
Griffin; Parker, Reese, and Griffin
Hayden; Parker, Reese, and Hayden
Ian; Parker, Reese, and Ian
Keaton; Parker, Reese, and Keaton
Kellen; Parker, Reese, and Kellen
Kieran; Parker, Reese, and Kieran
Lennon; Parker, Reese, and Lennon
Lincoln; Parker, Reese, and Lincoln
Thompson; Parker, Reese, and Thompson
Wilson; Parker, Reese, and Wilson

I don’t love the way the -son names sound with the surname, but I do like those names in the sibling group, and also I got to the end of my list and had nothing after the L-names! I don’t know why the list had nothing from the second half of the alphabet, but I was motivated to put SOMETHING from M-Z in there.

I also like Landon and Connor from your list.

Hello!

I love your blog and have been reading it for years! We are expecting a baby boy in March and are completely stumped! This will be our third child and we plan to have one more. Our son’s name is Calvin Odin, and our daughter’s name is Eve Venus. Our last name is Stackland, a Norwegian name, but we’re not tied to Scandinavian names.

We like first names that are recognizable and pronounceable, but are not terribly common. We also like power names and try to avoid anything that sounds too cute or too trendy. We both absolutely love the name Reddick (its a family name) and were set on it for a while until we realized how problematic the spelling was. My husband tends to like names that are a little more adventurous (I’ve vetoed Origin, Merlin etc). We also love the name Evander, but its our nephew’s name.

I’m not very enthusiastic about any of these names (perhaps I’ve thought about it too much?), but our current list for first names:
Zane
Wesley
Axel (I like this but am concerned it seems too trendy/try-hard)
Magnus (my husband likes this but I think its perhaps not common enough)

If we were having a girl her name would have been Zara, Vivian or Violet

For middle names we like to use ones that aren’t quite as common but go with a powerful first name – hence the mythology references. So far we have:
Atlas
Mars

I’m trying to find something interesting but recognizable, but not too trendy! Thank you!

Jesse

Here are the similarities and repeated letters/sounds I’m noticing:

• the V in Eve, Evander, Venus, Vivian, Violet, Calvin (and specifically in Eve Venus)

• the -in/-an of Calvin, Odin, Origin, Merlin, Vivian (and specifically in Calvin Odin)

• Zara and Zane

• Venus and Magnus and Atlas

It seems to me that you’re looking for repeating sounds and cool letters. I think at this point I might look for repeated sounds between the first/middle of the third child’s name, but I’d try to avoid/reduce further overlapping with the sibling names. Eve and Calvin already have a repeated V, so I think I would avoid a third name containing a V, to avoid painting yourselves into a corner for a possible fourth child. Well, or since you have two more girl-name options with a V, if you can also find two boy-name options containing a V, I might instead go all-in. Calvin, Eve, Davis, and Vivian, for example, or Calvin, Eve, Davis, and Victor.

From your list, my definite favorite is Wesley. I think it’s a great fit with the sibling names. I love that everybody gets a nickname if they want one (Cal, Evie, Wes), and that all three siblings get a cool letter (V for Calvin and Eve, W for Wesley). Something I like about the names Calvin and Eve is that I feel like they meet your preference for a “power name” without seeming as if they’re trying to meet that preference; I agree with you that Axel seems like it’s trying for it, and I would say the same about Magnus. I’d save those as possible middle names.

Let’s see, if we went with Calvin, Eve, and Wesley, what would be some good middle names for Wesley? Definitely it should be something with the impact of Odin or Venus. If you went with Wesley Magnus or Wesley Atlas or Wesley Mars, that gives you the sound-repetition of all the S-sounds in the name.

More options for first names:

Broderick
Clark
Davis
Dane
Elliot
Frederick
Gideon
Grant
Leo
Malcolm
Merrit
Oscar
Nolan
Reid
Simon
Victor
Wilson

I would then look for Odin/Venus-type names that share sounds with each first name. (I don’t think this is at all necessary, but it seems like a fun way to start if you’re having trouble.) Clark Mercury. Leo Apollo. Oscar Saturn. Reid Hermes. Gideon Poseidon. Gideon Magnus. Victor Jupiter. Victor Merlin. Elliot Helios. Simon Vulcan. Simon Mars. Nolan Neptune. Nolan Merlin. Reid Orion. Davis Atlas. And so on.

Name update:

Hi!

Thank you for your fantastic response to my query about our third baby! You provided so many insights about our name preferences that I hadn’t even noticed! And the comments on your post were invaluable! So many people had such great insights and gave us some really good options. We were really torn between Magnus, Wesley, Gideon, and Dorian. In the end we decided to name him Wesley and his name fits his little personality so well! We are very pleased. We liked how had a unique letter (like his siblings Calvin and Eve), and we love how his name sounds with our last name, Stackland. We have noticed some people pronounce his name Wez-ley but it doesn’t bother us too much. For middle names we loved kind of odd names with mythological or mystical origins (Calvin Odin and Eve Venus). In the end we chose Wesley Oberon, which we think sounds pretty nice together. A few people in the comments said if we chose Wesley it would give our family a sort of reformation vibe (Calvin, Eve, Wesley), which we hadn’t noticed but think is actually a little funny!

Thanks again for all of your help!
Jesse

Hi Swistle,

We are expecting a baby girl in March, this will be our second daughter and we plan on our last child. Our first daughter’s name came much easier, J@ne Calist@. Although until I was in labor, we had thought we would name her Calista Jane, but decided at the last minute we preferred the nickname Janie, which she has been known by ever since. Both names are family names, we don’t currently feel like we have a name in the running that is a family name which we feel some guilt about the people our first were named for made them natural choices for us. For family names we have thrown around Evelyn (too popular), Loretta (don’t love), Tomi as a first (i know the horror but we have many generations of Thomas) and a few others that haven’t quite fit the bill. We like strong names for girls that have good nickname options, we like that you don’t hear Jane often in her generation but people seem pleasantly surprised to meet a young Janie.
Our last name is Lennix spelled differently. For a middle name we are thinking either Adare or Clare (Clare is a family name as well but we would not use in the first name spot). Our top names in contention right now are: Elowen, Elin/Ellen, Willa or Ryan (clearly we don’t steer away from gender neutral names).
Other names we have thrown out for one reason or another: Caroline, Josephine, Hadley, Fiona, Louise/Louisa. For a boy we had chosen Rhett.
Please help and best,
Clare

I feel as if I’ve been suggesting this name a lot lately, but letters/issues/inclinations/favorites sometimes come in waves and so here I am again suggesting Rose. J@ne and Rose. Janie and Rosie. Rose Adare Lennix.

I wanted so badly to suggest Lynn: it has that surprising sound on a current child, plus the adorable nickname Lynnie—but I think it shares too many sounds with the surname, and Lynnie Lennix makes me think of Annie Lenn0x (not a negative per se, but I prefer to avoid that “Now where have I heard that before?” feeling), and so I suppose I withdraw the suggestion. Unless you like it. And Lynn Lennix would be a distinctive and memorable name with the repeated L- AND repeated -nn-, which could be fun. I do enjoy running into that kind of name from time to time.

I would consider the name Tomi to be a loaded political choice right now. The jump from Thomas to Tomi is not an easy natural common one, and using the honor name Thomas for a girl feels unnecessary, and so the entire choice of Tomi feels as if it must have been done very deliberately in order to evoke the association. In an earlier draft of this post I went on to say that if the association was positive one for you, then go ahead: after all, I am strongly in favor of using names such as Ruth (Bader Ginsburg) and Sally (Yates). After proof-reading, I realized I don’t agree with that earlier draft: names equivalent to Ruth/Sally are names such as Sandra (Day O’Connor) and Peggy (Noonan). The names of people stirring up controversy for entertainment value are not in the same league.

Even without the association, I would recommend Thomasina over Tomi. “Tomi” seems to say that a strong traditional classic family name needs to be pared down and made cute and light before it can be given to a girl, which sends a message I would want to avoid. (Instead of reducing a male family name to make it work for a girl, I would search the family tree for a strong traditional classic female name.) Thomasina has the strength and weight of Thomas, and the cute/light versions can be given as nicknames. I would still avoid Tomi, and would go with Tommie or Mina—or I see The Baby Name Wizard mentions Tamsin, which is cute.

Parents are all over the spectrum about sibling-name compatibility: some prefer strong compatibility, some just prefer them not to clash/rhyme, and some deliberately avoid compatibility. I am more toward the end of favoring compatibility, and so I would not pair J@ne with Ryan. J@ne is classic, traditional, used in the U.S. all but exclusively for girls; Ryan is a unisex surname name used in the U.S. much more often for boys. Used together, they are a little awkward as a sister/brother pairing—but many parents have different naming styles for girls than for boys, so it wouldn’t be startling. As names for two sisters, they are a little startling.

I like Willa and Ellen a lot with J@ne. Each is a lot of L with the surname, but not at deal-breaking levels. (I wanted to suggest Alice, but Alice Lennix takes an extra-L situation and raises it with a -ce/L- slide problem.) Ellen has the nickname Ellie, which could pull it ahead of Willa for me; I can’t think of a nickname I like for Willa. What I might do with the name Willa is use the middle name to create a nickname: J@ne Calista and Willa Josephine; Janie and Willa Jo—something like that. Or I might go with the long form Willamina, with the nickname Willa (or Mina).

With Loretta in your family name list, and Rhett chosen for a boy, I wonder if you would like Etta for a girl.

One of my mother’s favorite names is Evelyn, but pronounced like the name Eve followed by the name Lynn (she would not try to get this to fly in the United States). But I wonder if you would like the honor name Evelyn better if you split it like that into a first/middle: Eve Lynn Lennix. It’s a little awkward to say the full name, but it’s so rare to say the full name. Eve Lennix; J@ne and Eve; Janie and Evie.

More suggestions:

Audrey
Celia
Claudia (I might do a C._. nickname with the middle initial, as on The West Wing)
Cora
Elizabeth (Bessie, Betsy, Libby, etc.)
Flora (Florrie)
Frances (Frannie/Francie/Frankie)
Grace (Gracie)
Harriet (Etta/Ettie)
Hope
Ivy
Margaret (Maisie, Maggie, Daisy, Margo, Greta, etc.)
Meredith (Merrie)
Molly (or Mary with the nickname of Molly)
Nadia
Polly (or Mary with the nickname of Polly)
Ruby
Sabrina
Sally (or Sarah with the nickname of Sally/Sadie)

Hello Swistle!
I have a quandary I haven’t seen you address and I was hopeful you’d be able to help me.

We are pregnant with our second son, he’s due in May, and our preferred name with him is George. We like that George is a storied name with history and lots of people share the name, so it’s not tied to any one person or stereotype. We like his first and last name would make him google anonymous should he prefer. Our quandary is our last name is Burns, and frankly the name George Burns has “been done” before. So my question is “How bad is it if we name our son a name that has a somewhat famous former occupant?”

I’m cringing typing out the words, because my manta picking baby names is generally “first do no harm” and “if it starts out a joke, it doesn’t end up on the birth certificate”. I know all names have drawbacks, but it’s hard to pull the trigger on a name if you feel like your child may spend a lifetime fielding questions like “Where’s your Gracie Allen?”. I have told select acquaintances and friends about the name just to gauge reactions and the response seems varied by age. George Burns died 22 years ago, and I’m not sure how enduringly famous exactly he was, as people 40’s and younger seem to not know about him or mention him being a famous namesake, and a few people over 40 are appalled I would name a child a name that someone else has had.

I find the fact that George Burns was a pseudonym for the original George Burns (formerly Nathan Birnbaum) soothing. He didn’t actually own the name! He picked it because it sounds good together! I’ve facebooked searched the name and there’s a surprising amount of George Burns listed. Perhaps I should message them and ask them how big of a hassle their name is. Maybe I’m just overthinking this.

I would prefer not to go back to the drawing board if most people are going to be fine with the name George Burns on a child born in 2019, but it’s hard to gauge how big of an issue this is before naming him. I value your input, is this a deal breaker?

If you think this is a horrid idea, do you have any suggestions as for alternatives? Our first son has an honor name, and it’s an outlier for our style so I’m fine with the sibling names not matching. His name is Ezekiel Thomas and he goes exclusively by Zeke. Names I like include Peter, Ira, Felix, Linus, Benedict, (only as a middle). Names my husband likes are Bryon and Eugene. We both like Theodore…but we think it’s not this child’s name. If this baby was a girl we’d name her Jane Cordelia.

I love the name George. It does sound great with Burns. And I vote no to using it.

It fails my “Would I want this name?” test, even though I would like to be named either George or Georgia. I would wince every time I said my name and someone showed a reaction. “Name please?” “George Burns.” No, I don’t want to say that, either at my own appointment or at the baby’s.

I agree with you that an increasing percentage of people below a certain age will not have a strong association with the name—and the child’s peers are unlikely to have any association with the name at all. But I don’t think we’re yet at the point where I would want to have to cope (as the name-holder or as the parent) with the percentage of people who still DO have an association. It’s not about having a name that was once used by someone else; MOST names were once used by someone else. It’s about a name having an association with a particular famous person—and in this case, a person who was a bit of a caricature. I know he had a very long career and did many things; I’m not sure how the demographics would work out, but I was only familiar with his more recent work, where he was a very old man biting a cigar and waggling his eyebrows and making wisecracks, plus I was a little bit familiar with his wisecracking back-and-forth stuff with Gracie Allen. It’s not a negative association, but it’s still not one I’d want. Looking for the equivalent in a woman’s name (to make it easier to tell if it was a name I wanted for myself), I considered Joan Rivers and Lucille Ball. Very talented, long careers, and Joan and Lucy are great names—but I don’t want to be named (or have a daughter named) Joan Rivers, and I don’t want to be named (or have a daughter named) Lucille Ball. I don’t want to deal with the name recognition, even if not everyone recognizes it.

I didn’t know George Burns wasn’t his given name, but that only slightly affects things for me. “Name, please?” “George Burns.” “Oh! Like the…” “You know, it wasn’t his actual name.” No.

Let’s see, alternatives. Are you planning more children after this one? If so, I’d want to take the name Jane into account as a possible future sister name just in case.

I think of the name Ezekiel as both nicely ancient and currently hip; plus, it has a cool nickname. This makes it a hard act to follow. You’ve said it’s an honor name and a style outlier for you guys, so I won’t try too hard to coordinate, but on the other hand I don’t think I’d take an Ezekiel/Zeke and follow him with a Eugene; I’d be looking for something more along the lines of Felix. Peter works well, too, I think: less hip, but I think most people would be pleasantly surprised to encounter a young Pete. It’s a name so familiar the eye can accidentally skip past it in the baby name book, but in person it’s sounding fresh and unexpected again. Zeke and Pete is adorable, and both of them can go by their longer names if they don’t like it so much when they’re older.

Eugene and George make me wonder if you’d like the name Roger. I wasn’t even considering that name yet (I don’t expect it to cycle back around for another generation or so), until I saw somewhere that an old nickname for Roger was Hodge. Hodge! Ezekiel and Roger; Zeke and Hodge.

More to consider:

August Burns; Ezekiel and August; Zeke and Gus
Benjamin Burns; Ezekiel and Benjamin; Zeke and Ben
Calvin Burns; Ezekiel and Calvin; Zeke and Cal
Charles Burns; Ezekiel and Charles; Zeke and Charlie
Elliot Burns; Ezekiel and Elliot; Zeke and Elliot
Frederick Burns; Ezekiel and Frederick; Zeke and Fred
Henry Burns; Ezekiel and Henry; Zeke and Hank
Joel Burns; Ezekiel and Joel; Zeke and Joel
John Burns; Ezekiel and John; Zeke and Jack
Malachi Burns; Ezekiel and Malachi; Zeke and Mal or Zeke and Kai
Malcolm Burns; Ezekiel and Malcolm; Zeke and Mal
Simon Burns; Ezekiel and Simon; Zeke and Simon
Wesley Burns; Ezekiel and Wesley; Zeke and Wes
Wilson Burns; Ezekiel and Wilson; Zeke and Wil