Baby Girl Raiserhöffer: Finding a Name that Works in Germany and the United States

Hi Swistle!

I’ve been an avid reader of your blog for many years and I’ve always loved names. My husband and I are expecting our first child, a girl this July and we are struggling to find names that work. I always had girls names that I would use, but my husband is German, along with his entire family, and our child will be raised in both Germany and America so many names that I like do not work in Germany. We have lived in both countries and currently reside in Germany, but expect to be back in America in the future.

For some background on German names: there are a lot more unspoken rules around naming a child. If you look up “kevinism” you will see just some of the rules linked to Germany. These include not giving your child a super ‘american/british’ name, not doing a super american/french name with a german last name, place/thing names are not acceptable, and names that are of german/latin/hebrew (biblical) descent are seen the most proper and correct. Scandinavian names are also popular in Germany. There are some exceptions to these rules, but generally these rules apply. While some younger germans are pushing away from these rules, they are still very much followed by many. It is very important to us that our child feels she ‘fits’ in both cultures.

If I was not married to a German man and if my husband was going along with whatever names I like, my top two girls names would be June and Rose. I love both these names for their summery feel, long history of usage, short, feminine, and just overall ‘feel’ of the name. Alas, neither of these work at all in German as they are seen as very American names/English ‘thing’ names. Even when I type those names, I still wish I could use them, but I know its not fair to my husband and to our daughter’s 50% German genes if I pushed two names that truly do not work in one country.

For my naming style: I tend to like girls names that have been in usage in history, are not too ‘out there’, and are shorter. I generally do not like super long, overly feminine girls names. My husband does not appear to have any rules around names, he just will suggest names that he thinks sound interesting. I am definitely the person who cares more about the name and history. Our last name sounds similar to Raiserhöffer (but with a more difficult spelling) so very German, hard to pronounce when read, and long.

Some names we have thrown around (in no particular order):

1. Charlotte- the name I am lobbying for. I like the nickname Charlie, Charlotte works in both countries (pronounced char-lott-uh in Germany), and is seen as a classic in both countries. My husband feels neutral on the name, but doesn’t feel enthusiastic. He is pushing for Caroline instead, which is a hard no from me.

2. Lucy- the name we both love, but cannot use because it is seen as an English name and not a proper name in Germany. Plus, the older generations in Germany who do not speak English pronounce it like “lutzie” which is not a dealbreaker, but we want a name that everyone feels comfortable with. I love this name because of its literary connotations, musical connotations, and short but lively sound.

3. Claire- we are both ‘okay’ with this name. Germans would prefer it to be Clara, but we can get away with Claire. I do like the meaning, but there is something about it that I am not super enthusiastic about. Neither my husband nor I like Clara.

4. Ava- a hail mary name I threw out there. My husband likes this one a lot. Germans would pronounce it ‘ah-vah’. I like it, but I am worried it will be a very dated name in twenty years for American ears. I also feel like its lost its sparkle a bit? So far the name we seem to agree on the most and my husband’s top-runner favorite.

5. Louisa- my husband’s suggestion. Technically written ‘Luise’ in German, but we would do the English spelling. It feels very German to me and I tend to like shorter/more snappy names. This feels like a large step away from names I would give my daughter if there were no cultural issues here on names.

6. Kaia- a name I like, it would work in Germany b/c of its scandinavian origins, but I typically like more classic sounding names and this feels a bit out there. I mostly like this name for its meaning. If our next child was a boy, I think it would not fit with the Leo/Lucas/Henry names I tend to lean towards. For this reason, I am not looking at the name seriously.

7. Maren- another name that we’ve thrown around. Also diverts from my typical leanings for more classic names, but it is shorter. I like the meaning ‘of the sea.’ It is a German/Danish name, but older name in Germany and I think it is rising in America. I’m worried I would regret giving her a name that doesn’t have the historical ties that I tend to like and I find myself hesitating on this name.

8. Lily- the only ‘flower/thing’ name that Germans find acceptable, because they do not consider this name to be a flower. In Germany, the name is spelled “Lilly” and comes from the full name Elizabeth. I like it, but it feels a bit too soft? I don’t know how to explain it.

9. Romy- a german nickname, but I find it quite cute. I am nervous that it does not fit an adult and that maybe it is a passing fancy of mine. Also not sure about the alliteration of Romy R. My husband also feels weird about the two “R”s especially when Germans use a different sounding “r” from english. (more harsh sounding on the tongue). For those reasons, I am not seriously considering it, but listing it here so you get a sense of the names we have talked about.

10. Amelia/Emilia- My husband likes this naming set. Emilia is the German version and is very very popular in germany right now. It feels a bit too flowery to me. Again, it mostly feels like I am agreeing to a name here that fits a culture rather than my own personal naming preferences.

Sorry for this very long (slightly desperate) email! I never thought I would be in this boat of not having a name picked out and it is increasing my anxiety as the due date draws closer each week. I appreciate any thoughts, names, suggestions, or other comments besides this small echo-chamber of my husband and I!

All the best,

M & S

 

I agree that the child’s name should work in both of her parents’ countries, especially since you plan to live in both. I agree it seems wrong to give her a name that truly doesn’t work in one of the two countries, or a name that would be viewed with disdain in either of the two countries. But I am not ready to pleasantly concede that “The name cannot be/seem American” is a valid cultural naming rule for one parent’s country to apply to the other parent’s country.

But if that’s what we’re going to work with, and if the child is going to have her father’s family surname AND only be given names that meet the preferences of her father’s culture (those preferences excluding anything from her mother’s culture), then certainly you, the mother, should have 100% deciding power from among the names that meet those preferences. I further suggest that you use one of The Names You Can’t Use in Germany as the child’s middle name, where presumably it will not be visible enough to encounter daily disdain. Anyone who DOES say anything about it can be reminded that the child has two parents.

(Perhaps it would be instructive before going any further to have your husband spend a few minutes imagining a situation in which the child was to be given YOUR family’s surname, and ALSO that the rest of the name had to meet YOUR culture’s guidelines, which in this imaginary case would mean NO German names or anything that even SEEMED LIKE a German name. And now perhaps he would like to imagine that after he agreed to those conditions, the two of you came up with a list of names that qualified as Not German, and now you were pushing to use one of YOUR top choices rather than one of his.)

I vote for Charlotte June. You mention that Charlotte is your own top choice of the names that can be used in your husband’s culture; it works in both countries; it works with the surname; “Charlie June” is an appealing nickname; and the only downside is that your husband feels neutral about it. Neutral is a HUGE WIN for this difficult naming situation! He can save his enthusiasm for the use of his family surname and for his wife’s willingness to defer to all his culture’s naming customs! And this way you both get something you’re happy and enthusiastic about: I cannot fathom going with your husband’s family surname, your husband’s cultural naming preferences, AND one of your husband’s first-choice names, while you get nothing. AT THE VERY LEAST, the first name should be ONE of your top favorites, if not your VERY most favorite. (I would prefer it to be your VERY most favorite.)

Or Charlotte Lucy. Since Lucy is the name you both love but agree you can’t use in the first-name position, it might be pleasing to have it there in the middle-name slot.

(I’m leaving out Charlotte Rose for two reasons: Rose is such an extremely common middle name for girls right now in the U.S.; and I feel like Charlie Rose doesn’t work as well as a nickname.)

62 thoughts on “Baby Girl Raiserhöffer: Finding a Name that Works in Germany and the United States

  1. SS

    I think you could use Luise/Louisa and get away with calling her Lucy as a nickname, or LuLu. Louisa and Lucy don’t sound that far apart for me. Or what about the Scandinavian Lucia with Luci as a nickname?

    Reply
    1. Kerri

      Louisa nn Lucy was my first thought, too. She could be Louisa in Germany/among German family members and Lucy at home.
      But otherwise, I agree with Swistle that, with all the concessions you’re making, you should absolutely get a stronger say in the name. If you love Charlotte, then go with Charlotte! Charlotte Lucy and Charlotte June are lovely.

      Reply
    2. yasmara

      Yes to the variations that get you to Lucy/Luci! I think this is a fantastic idea.

      I also love the name Anya / Anja if that has any appeal to you.

      Reply
  2. Zinnia

    So! I wrote in a long, long time ago about my (now deservedly ex-) boyfriend who hated noun names with a passion, but wouldn’t explain why. I remember you wondering, Swistle, why he hated them so much.

    This genuinely answers that: he was German! I didn’t realise that was a German thing! The resolution I never knew I needed.

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  3. Kimberly

    Elka/Elsa/Ella
    Anna
    (Too much Frozen?)
    Claudia (this was my German name in my high school German class, but seems to be experiencing a vintage revival in the US.
    Many of my German ancestors were Katherine or some variation.

    From your list, I like Charlotte and Louisa.

    Reply
    1. Annie

      Liesl is the spelling ,darling diminutive but it’s a nickname for Elisabeth (Lisi Lisa Liesi Liesl ) and not a full name name in German

      Reply
  4. Erin

    What about Lydia? It works beautifully in both languages but is not especially common. Lydia June or Lydia Caroline would be very nice.
    Jutta only really works in German, but what about Julia? Sort of June-adjacent!

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  5. kate

    very much agree with swistle that you ought to get full say within the parameters imposed by your husband’s preferences and culture! name that baby charlotte!

    Reply
    1. Genevieve

      Hard agree! You absolutely should get 100% first name choice if you’re accepting his culture’s parameters.

      Reply
  6. C.

    Okay, I am German and have named two children in the last four years in the knowledge that a move to the UK in the next years is quietly likely. Swistle has excellent advice, but I would like to add the following: “Kevinism” is a thing BUT if you know that one parent of the child is from an English speaking country people will be a lot more understanding. Especially as a second name I would agree go for June or Rose. For a first name I would probably urge you to stay away from R names including Romy because the pronunciation will be an issue. Also, I guarantee you a lot of peoples first association with Romy will be the actress Romy Schneider (who played the Austrian Empress Elisabeth or Sisi in some movies).
    All your other options will work well but I would like to add Cora to your list. I am partial to Cora June but Cora Rose works just as well. Wishing you all the best!

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    1. CC

      As an Australian living in Germany I agree with all of these points. We deliberately gave our daughter an ‘international’ name that would work in many countries, but having lived in German university towns we have seen that there are so many variables. People are much more open when one parent is not German and we know children with names like Leilani, Alba, Lennox, Zoe and Sarah-Joy with extremely German surnames. I would add that people are even more adventurous in the middle name spot and would definitely encourage you to think in this direction too.
      Wishing you all the very best! You have so many great options and I hope that you will find the one that clicks into place for your daughter and your family.

      Reply
    2. Anna Maria

      Another German Mom (and teacher) here.
      Please don’t worry too much about kevinism. It’s on the way out and only pertains to some American names.
      Essentially, it’s the same as in the US: if you want to avoid scorn, avoid “made-up” spellings, lots of y’s and celebrity names
      Rose (pronounced Rosuh) is actually a fairly traditional given name in Germany. It’s often but not always short for Rosemarie and it is quite dated (a grandma name), but it does exist. And Rosa is considered quite modern.
      An American friend of mine had no problem graduating highschool and college and getting a wellpaying job named Rose (American pronunciation) in the 2000s.

      Lucy as a given name is not super common, but you can totally go for it. I have met a few (my cousin’s daughter is Lucy and he is a conservative fire chief from a small town in Swabia) and they are not held back by their name.

      Julia, Julie, Sophie, Ava, Liv would be very safe bets, as well as Marie and Hanna.

      Please don’t let the Internet scare you so much. I promise we are not that conservative!!! And just as in the US, we have so many new immigrants coming in, that our children’s generation will see this very differently. To my daughter, Mohammed is a more “normal” name than Paul or Max.

      Reply
      1. Satara

        I agree with not taking “kevinism” too far, it really only applies to a few names, many of which are not even “real” American names with a different spelling from the English and/or different writing.
        I am German and I wanted my daughters to have names that work in the English speaking world (and internationally in general) so I wanted them to end in “a” (not a must!).
        Thus, on my list of names were for example: Helena, Sophia, Linnea, Lucia, Flora, Cora, Olivia…

        Reply
  7. Kit

    Would Lucia nn Lucy be an option? She could go by the full form in Germany and the short form in the US. I agree with SS that Lucy could also work as a nickname for Louisa – or do you like Louise? It would have the Louisa pronunciation in Germany, but is a bit shorter and snappier in America. My impression is that Lucia is pronounced Loot-see-a in Germany, so it may be that the Loot-sy pronunciation is not actually a difficulty, but just how they’re used to the name souding. I really think this is the name for you – it’s the only one you mention both of you loving, and you can get a German-acceptable version pretty easily as long as you’re okay with one of those options.
    Similarly, how about Rosa nn Rose? Or! What about Rosemarie (or could you get away with Rosemary?) and she could be Rose in the US and Romy in Germany. (I love Romy for Rosemary and I want you to use this.)
    There’s also Eva – it can be pronounced the same as Ava (I think that’s the default German pronunciation?), and it feels both fresher and more classic. I do think Ava will be pinned to this era, but I don’t think that’s the worst thing. It’s still a very wearable name, as evidenced by its continued high ranking.
    Does Marion/Marian work in Germany? Similar to Maren, but more traditional-feeling in America.

    Other ideas that are a little shorter/snappier: Alice, Adelaide, Ellen, Helena, Lisbeth, Liese, Ada, Ida, Mia, Astrid, Stella, Anne, Thea, Adele, Zoe, Pia, Anika
    I could have sworn Margo(t) was German but it’s not listed that way on Behind the Name. But I love that for you if it works.
    I quite like the suggestion of Elise for you, too.

    (I’m using Behind the Name to determine what counts as German – apologies if some of these don’t work.)

    I really know nothing about German culture, but is the bias really against all Anglo names in all contexts? Or is it against trendy modern Anglo names? For instance, I can see how bias may have arisen against name like Kevin and Jessica that don’t have a strong historical background, but are names like Jane and George seen as equally lower class? And is the bias the same for someone with a legitimately Anglo background vs a native whose parents picked the name because it’s “exotic”?

    As long as your husband is not being obnoxious about the German naming conventions (and it doesn’t sound like he is, since you mention you both would like to use Lucy), I would not treat it as something that “counts” against him, but just as a pragmatic consideration that you’re both trapped by. If your overlap ends up being largely his favorite names and your outliers, I would certainly give you the final pick between them, but I would definitely try for genuine overlap first.

    Reply
  8. Megan Hinds

    Agree swistle it seems to be not fair to only give the husbands culture a chance.

    I second charlotte lucy but also like Lucia exclusively called Lucy

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  9. Penny Up

    A lovely girl named Maren went to my high school so I have positive associations with the name, plus a friend called her daughter Luisa which I was skeptical about but now of course love!

    Charlotte is lovely and classic and suits any girl, and I love the spunky nickname Charlie too.

    Also after your husband sees you give birth and manage a newborn, he will be fine with you picking your top name and putting a lovely Anglo name in the middle!

    Reply
  10. Heidi

    When I was pregnant with my first daughter I thought we’d be moving to Germany shortly after she was born (didn’t end up happening), so I looked for a name that worked in the both the U.S. and Germany. We named her Cora and it’s been a good name. However, I totally named my next daughter an English word, noun name when we ended staying in the U.S.

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  11. Lynn

    I agree with Swistle Re: Charlotte and also your first choice among all workable names!

    But for more ideas:

    How about the double-barreled Anna-June (or Anna June) as a first name? When I was a nanny in Germany (granted this was 20 years ago), two of the three children (the girls) had double barrel first names. She could go by both at home, but Anna in public in Germany and June (or Anna June) in the US!

    Marta is another idea. It might have been mentioned above. The R tends to be a little softer in Marta than in other words in German. I think it’s beautiful in both accents.

    Reply
  12. Jen

    I don’t have much knowledge of German names but I work at a school with many multi-cultural students and it is not at all uncommon for kids to have two versions of the same name or just two fully different names for different sides of their family. For example, “I go my Lucy at school but my grandma calls me Luisa and my mum calls me Lu”, or “My mom’s family calls me Lucy but my dad’s family uses my middle name, Rose, because it’s easier for them to pronounce”, etc. My family lives outside of our home country and my own kid goes by a culturally appropriate and easy to pronounce nickname at daycare but her given name at home.

    All that to say, don’t feel that you are completely locked into one pronunciation or version of a name. There’s room for flexibility.

    Reply
  13. Rebekka

    When I was going to school in Germany as part of the Landeskunde course we visited a variety of schools, and in the Grundschule the kids all introduced themselves and I distinctly remember that there was a Hope! The teacher also mentioned to us that one of Hope’s parents was American. I think a name that works in both languages is a really great idea. When I am speaking in German I do feel a little awkward when I have to code switch in the middle of a sentence to say someone’s name or title. With my son, we chose a name that is very Irish/Scottish but that I also like the sound of when it is pronounced in German.

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  14. StephLove

    That does seem like you’re working with a lot of restrictions. I agree with Swistle that if you agree to all of them, your other preferences should get priority, so Charlotte June or Charlotte Rose seems reasonable.

    Reply
  15. Renee

    I’m here to agree that Charlotte seems like the natural choice here. I’d go with Charlotte Rose. Then I’d see how it is with various names when you’re out in the kid situations and if you have another girl, maybe you’ll be ready to use June or something else you love – or maybe Louisa nn Lucy would feel possible. Charlotte & Louisa are dreamy sister names!

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  16. Maree

    I have seized on your reasons for liking Lucy and offer two suggestions that Google imply work in German (an unreliable method).

    Literary- similar to Lucy in the chronicles of Narnia is Susan or Susanna.

    Musical – the patron saint of music is Cecilia and the German forms of Celie look lovely.

    Ava – I prefer Eve as a fresher sound. Are the E forms in German use?

    Reply
    1. Cece

      I *think* in German it would be pronounced as an A, so Ava-sounding as opposed to Eva. Our Swedish family friends Jonas and Eva are Yonas and A-va and I think it’s similar in terms of j and also vowel sounds?

      Reply
  17. K

    Since Ava doesn’t feel quite right, I’d like to throw Ada out there as a possibility. Sylvia comes to mind as having literally associations. Also Ottilie, just because it’s one of my favorite German names. And Lorena is used in a lot of different cultures, including Germany, apparently. Okay, so I’m not just naming names I like, have you used the website mixedname at all?

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  18. The Mrs.

    Junia is an ancient Roman name. It also gives the nickname June.

    I met a very cool Claudia from Germany… she pronounced her name ‘CLOW-dee-ah”. Her husband called her “Cloudy”. It was adorable.

    Rosina is the name of on of my German ancestors. Rose could be a nickname.

    Verena was another German ancestor.

    There’s always Elisabeth. She has a billion great nicknames: Betty, Elise, Elsa, Elsie, Ella, etc.

    Best wishes!

    Reply
  19. Courtney

    Charlotte June is great, but I also love the suggestions of Cora and Lydia! Short, feminine, not too common, work in both languages. Hope we get an update!

    Reply
  20. Celeste

    The first German girl I ever met was named Ingrid. It didn’t make sense then but it does after reading this entry!

    A coworker married a German man and now I understand why their daughters are Henriette and Clara.

    I have always loved Lena and even had it on my own list.

    Charlotte June solves it nicely for me. I would want to get past the strife and this seems like the way to go.

    Reply
  21. Kerry

    I don’t have any suggestions, but this raises fascinating questions for me about my German friend who named her American-born daughter Morgan. She seems fairly traditional/conservative…but maybe not?

    Also I lied. What about Maude? It seems like you like single syllable names, and that there are extremely few of them for women in Germany, but maybe Maude is one?

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  22. The Saurus

    Charlotte June is awesome. I did keep thinking of the Scandinavian name Freya as I read your letter.

    Reply
  23. Cece

    Haha my daughter’s name would definitely be frowned upon – she’s M@rgot and my husbands Austrian-Jewish surname sounds a bit like Gottlieb ;) (also Margot is pronounced like Mar-gott in German which is fine when our German friends say it but I wouldn’t want that for every day.)

    But I do have a couple of name suggestions that I pushed really hard for with both of my kids – Nina and Greta. I’ve got no idea if they’re ‘trendy’ in Germany or how they’d be perceived but in English I love them both and I had semi-convinced my husband on Nina before we found out our second was a boy.

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  24. Susan

    My friend who was born in Germany but now lives in the U. S. is named “Brigitte.” In the U. S., she uses the more common American pronunciation “BRIDGE-it,” but in Germany it’s pronounced “Bri-GEET” with a very short “uh” sound on the end—not a strong “uh” but a very delicate final sound, more just like a small emphasis on the “t” sound. I’ve always liked the name pronounced the American way, but I LOVE it pronounced the German way, and if it were my name, I think I’d keep the German pronunciation in the U. S.

    Reply
    1. Anne

      Yes Loved that you like the correct pronunciation. It’s pretty!
      It’s bri gee teh, like you explained, bc there is no silent E at the end of German words so E at the end are pronounced like EH
      Porsche – Por scheeh
      Anne_Ann eh
      Jude- You de
      Christine- Chris tin eh

      Reply
  25. Sheila

    I like Emilia, Charlotte and Lily the most but as someone mentioned in the comments, as you are an international family “kevinism” doesn’t really count for Germans (per my experience). Here are some other ideas to consider that can work in both countries (without being too German or too American) and match well with June or Rose:
    – Emma Raiserhöffer
    – Ella Raiserhöffer
    – Eva Raiserhöffer
    – Mia Raiserhöffer
    – Nora Raiserhöffer
    – Olivia Raiserhöffer
    – Hanna Raiserhöffer
    – Amira Raiserhöffer
    – Amina Raiserhöffer
    – Vivien Raiserhöffer
    – Greta Raiserhöffer
    – Zelda Raiserhöffer
    – Nadine Raiserhöffer
    – Isabella Raiserhöffer
    – Mirella Raiserhöffer
    – Sabine/Sabina Raiserhöffer

    Reply
  26. ReeRee

    I’m German living in the States with an American husband. I had a lot of your names on my list as well. We went with Elizabeth (with an s) Rose for our daughter. For our second baby we had Claire, but we had a boy. Familiarity in both countries and a similar pronunciation were my biggest concerns, though Elizabeth does not quite fit the latter. She is almost ten and doesn’t mind though that I (and her German relatives) pronounces her name differently than everybody else.

    For her, we also considered Eleanor (love, but not great in German), Maya, and Nora. I also like Matilda a lot and the already suggested Nina. Nelly or Nell could work; there’s the poet Nelly Sachs as a namesake. Kids of German relatives and friends are Lilly, Carlotta, Greta, Martha (would spell Marta for similar pronunciation), Isabel, and Penelope. Those should work in both languages.

    Names from my generation (1970s baby) that I like and that are international are Miriam (I love the nn Mimi), Isabel, Anna, Verena, and Elena (E-Luh-na, nn Ella). Sarah is another classic that works.

    Congratulations and good luck!

    Reply
  27. Joanna

    I suggest Lena.
    It’s short, classic and sweet like Rose, Lucy or Ava. Easy to write and pronounce in both English and German. Gives a nice balance to long and complicated surname. Plus sounds good with your favorite English/American names used as a middle name:
    Lena Rose Raiserhöffer
    Lena June Raiserhöffer
    Lena Charlotte Raiserhöffer

    Reply
  28. Judy

    Don`t worry about Kevinism, it’s really on it’s way out! I’m German, living in Germany and have two daughters with “English” names. I work with kids and my partner is a teacher. When I named my older daughter Polly 16 years ago I still got a few comments but overall we only received compliments for her name. Her friends are all named “classic German” names like Charlotte, Anna, Matilda, Lily, Paula etc. However, 7 years later my younger daughter`s friends are named Romy, Ruby, Lucy, Suvi, Holly, Pixie, Ylvi, Poppy, Elfie, you get the idea. Her name is Kitty and she fits right in. No one has ever raised an eyebrow because of her name. We live in Hamburg in a neighborhood with lots of teachers, lawyers, doctors, artists, and journalists. My impression is the higher educated people are, the trendier it seems nowadays to give your child an English name. So name your daughter Lucy if that’s the name you both love! Lucy is so sweet and I know 6 Lucys where I live, it’s really common here! No one even thinks about pronouncing it Luzie. To me Lucy is quite mainstream in Germany, so please use it, it’s perfect!

    Reply
  29. Anon

    We’re a dual nationality family and it can be SO DANG HARD to figure out names. You’ve got this! I will say that it feels like when you have a mixed culture family that people tend to be very understanding of a first/last name heritage mismatch. Our kids have English first names and a Romanian last name. Their RO relatives call them by Romanian derivatives of their first names, and actually our son is called by most people in Canada by his Romanian nickname. They’re 3 and 1 and so far they don’t seem confused by being called two different things depending on who’s talking to them. Our 3 year old will sometimes tell people “My name is C@ther1ne but my Romanian name is C@trinuta.”. She also says “My brother’s Romanian name is N1cu, in English it’s Buddy.” LOL. (His English name is N1ch0las.)

    When we were naming it felt the A Big Issue to honour both cultures, not give them names that would be weird in one place or the other, and choose saints names, and oh did we want to honour specific family members too?!??? So, hugs, you’ll figure it out!

    (Going anon for this comment because I try to be very careful about revealing my kids’ names online.)

    Reply
  30. Daniela

    Hi, I usually never comment here, but I feel (as a German), I can actually be helpful.

    1. Name your girl whichever name you like best. Your options all sound wonderful and given that one parent is non-German you will not experience much “frowning” ;)
    2. Germany is not that conservative anymore. I know tons of little girls with short names like Lucy, Romy, Ruby, Juli, Ava, Ada…even a 6-year old Maren.
    3. It seems, Americans tend to like German names that sound very dated (read: old lady) to my ears, like Brigitte, Jutta, Liesl, Marion, Astrid, Elke. Older names are coming into style again, but those are more of the Greta, Anna, Marta, Paula kind (Brigitte, Jutta, Margot et. al are not “vintage” enough to have made a comeback yet I would say).
    4. Accept that whichever name you choose will be pronounced differently in Germany and the States. That will not make it more or less adorable or fitting for your little girl! But: mostly, the younger generation (i.e. fellow parens and their kids) will be fine with American pronounciations for Lucy or Rose…and I would assume that those are the age groups you will interact with most.

    If you want to go with Charlotte (which is a great option!) be aware that it is fairly popular in Germany (I know little girls with that name aged 3 to 12) and you will very likely run into a few of the same age group depending on where you live.

    Whatever name you choose should be the name you love most and see on your girl…try and forget about some of those sticky rules. ;)

    Reply
  31. TheFirstA

    As someone who was married to a German, I think marking of Rose seems a bit extreme. Names like Rosemarie or Rosalie (which is German) should be fine, though perhaps a bit dated. Then Rose could be a nickname if you wanted.

    Reply
  32. Emily

    I‘m an american expat who married a German and have lived here for 25 years. I have two boys, but both were first „supposed“ to be girls (they were experts at crossing their legs and hiding), so I did spend a lot of time thinking about girl names. I was also worried about finding names that would work in both languages, but then ended up giving my boys names that are pronounced differently in the two languages, and just let them decide how they wanted their names to be pronounced. It honestly hasn’t been a problem, but I understand the impulse. I would say give her the name you really love. I know both Charlottes AND Lucys, and I live in a small town. There are also lots of other options for girls that would work without too much pronunciation difference: Olivia, Anna, Maria/Mari, Lena, Eva, Lotta, Lottie, Thea, Edda, Ava, Juli, Liv (my husband‘s goddaughter is named this; they pronounce it like „leaf“)…I even know a little 2-yo Lilo. There are lots of options. It sounds like you’ve already got a bunch of winners, though. The only one I would stay away from – Romy. The „R“ pronunciation at the beginning is very different in the two languages, and Romy Schneider is at once That Austrian Princess and kind of a tragic figure bc of her untimely death. I think I would stay away from that one. Good luck!

    Reply
  33. Megan

    You have so many great options but I can’t help but throw out two more: Cleo and Freja. Not quite as short as June and Rose but still in that breezy, feminine-but-not-elaborate style.

    Reply
  34. LINA

    Hallo aus Deutschland!
    I recently helped my sister name her baby girl she shares with a Brit and they were facing the same challenge . They ended up naming her Marla which I love and it suits her perfectly. I also wanna recommend my own daughters name Alma. It has a long history with positive meanings in various languages, one spelling only and an elaborate , academic vibe here in Germany. It’s also very popular in Scandinavian countries. Good luck and have fun with the naming process. I like all your suggestions and you shouldn’t overthink too much. Choose what feels right. Xx

    Reply
    1. Dani

      Alma also means “soul” in Spanish…so pretty! I have a 30+ German friend German with that name also.

      Reply
  35. Ashleigh

    Why not Juna? I see that it’s a top 40 girls’ name in Germany. You could list Juna on the birth certificate and just call her June for short!

    Reply
  36. Maggie2

    One of my extended family married into a German background family, and they chose Imogen as a name that worked in both cultures. It’s classic, not frilly, and stands up to the German last name well. (And there is Ginny or Jenny as a nickname, if desired.)

    Reply
  37. Molly

    I have similar naming preferences as you do, and ended up naming my daughter Eliza (short, classic but not too trendy). Not sure if it fits the German naming conventions, but thought I’d throw it out there for you!

    Reply
  38. Writer of this Post!

    Hi all! I am the writer of this post :) Thank you everyone for your input thus far. I do know that many Germans are headed less towards ‘kevinism’, but my husband comes from a very traditional family/smaller town and works in a more conservative type job so kevinism remains quite rigid in our social circles. Most of his friends children and colleague children have biblical names, very classic german names, and the associated younger sounding german nicknames are not used (yet). I do know Berlin is moving towards shorter/snappy/nickname sounding names, but those names are not popular in our region. Regarding kevinism for international couples, I do know that international couples may not have kevinism apply, but we don’t want our daughter to have to explain that her mother is American which is why her name is blank or have people make an assumption on a name until they find out she is half American. She is only a child for a short period of time so it is important to us that she fits both cultures with her name!

    With all that said, we are taking what everyone has said into consideration and have decided to make a date night with the topic of names to try and narrow this down a bit. Thank you again!

    Reply
    1. ReeRee

      Have you checked the Social Security baby name list? Most of the top 10 names in 2022, such as Emma, Mia, Charlotte, Olivia, Luna and Amelia would work in the US as well as in Germany. Also, I am a teacher, and while I encounter all of those names in elementary school, I’ve never had two Emma’s or Mia’s in one class. Popularity of a name doesn’t mean schools are flooded with girls with top ten names. If anything, there seem to be more boys with the same name.

      Reply
  39. Cha

    Hi, chiming in as a German: You can relax regarding the ‘kevinism’ – actually having an English speaking side of the family will spare your child from any prejudice and will legitimate a very English name with a very English spelling and pronunciation. Naming style is very regional, in Berlin, where I live, you could get away with almost anything. Decidedly English names you love like June and Rose would not be an issue.

    If you’d like to make the names a bit more accessible in Germany, I’d suggest:
    Rosa — is rarely used, but traditionally German and due for a comeback.
    Juno — has recently gotten very popular in my social circles here in Berlin.

    side note: Louisa/Luisa (and Luise/Louise) are both traditional spellings – the -ou is a nod to the French origins of the name and has been used in Germany for centuries.

    Reply
  40. Sarah

    I have a German husband and we’re in the same position! Names on our list for girls that seem to work in both countries are: Emily/Emilie, Annika (nickname Annie), Sophie, Zoe, Grace, Phoebe, Claudia and Lillian (Lily).

    Reply

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