Hi Swistle,
My husband and I are expecting our first baby, unknown sex, in early April and we’d love your help with name suggestions. I originally thought that we would struggle coming up with boy names because there weren’t many that we liked, but I think we’ve settled on either Rowan or George as a first name and maybe Harald as a middle name. Harald is an honor name and I really like the idea of incorporating at least one honor name into our baby’s name. My husband and I both have honor names as our middle names (my middle name is my mom’s first name, and my husband’s middle name is his grandpa’s first name).
My husband’s last name sounds like Dickson, and we’ll likely use my last name (sounds like Mattson) as a second middle name. I don’t love how our last names sound together (too much like Mason Dixon), but I want our baby to have my last name as well, so adding it as a second middle name seems like the best way to do that.
We’re struggling more with a name for a girl. We’d ideally like something that is recognizable but not super common (preferably not in the top 100 names for that sex in the past few years). I would also prefer a name that is fairly classic and not just a trend. We considered Nora and Lucy, but both of those seem too common for our preferences. Other names we’re considering are Quinn, Sloane, Felicity, Harriet, Evelyn, and Maren. The names Eleanor and Madeline have been used by family so we’re not considering those.
Harriet has some significance in our relationship, but if we name our daughter that I’d like her to have a nickname, and one of my best friends goes by Hattie (her real name is Heather) which seems like the most obvious nickname for Harriet.
I’ve loved the name Maren for a long time, but I don’t like that there are two ways to pronounce it (I like it best when it doesn’t rhyme with Karen), and I’m not sure I like it with my husband’s last name.
For girl middle names, I really like either Jean or Ruth. Both of these are honor names, and I like that the don’t start with a vowel since we’ve realized there are lots of words that can be spelled by initials when the first name starts with a consonant, middle name a vowel, and then D (George Otto Dickson was in the running for a boy name if the initials didn’t spell out GOD). Even though we intend for our kids to have my last name as a second middle name I’d like to avoid spelling other words or names if they drop my last name sometime in the future.
I’d appreciate any help and suggestions you have, either on the names we’re considering or others you think we should add to our list of contenders.
Thank you,
K
My first question, if we were sitting together in a cozy little office with comfy chairs that were easy to get in and out of even while heavily pregnant; decorated with name-labeled photos of newborns; with a tray of exactly the snack you happened to be thinking of on your way to the appointment—I say, my first question there and also here would be “Are you planning to have more children?” Because if so, I think the first task before us is to see if we can narrow down your naming style. There is a world, a WORLD of difference between George and Rowan, between Quinn and Felicity. And so if you are planning more children, and if you like sibling names to coordinate to some degree, this is a decision that would be useful to make ahead of time.
Let’s start with Boy Name Style. Rowan strikes me as unisex, Celtic, and modern: I would not know if a Rowan on a name list was a boy or a girl, and I can’t think of any Rowans in my age group or my parents’ or grandparents’ age group except for Rowan Atkinson. George is boy-only, more British in flavor, and with usage that goes up and down over the years but I can definitely think of plenty of Georges throughout the generations. If you started with a boy named Rowan, and then had more children, I would expect names such as Quinn (boy or girl), Sloane, and Maren. If you started with a boy named George, and then had more children, I would expect names such as Felicity, Harriet, and Evelyn. (If you are avoiding common names, I will mention that according to the Social Security Administration, Evelyn is a Top 10 name as of 2020.)
Which grouping seems more like Your Kids to you? Picture them around the table, in the car, upstairs in their rooms, writing their names on their homework, being introduced to someone you run into while shopping. Do you have a Quinn and a Rowan and a Sloane? Do you have a Felicity and a George and a Harriet? There is obviously no rule that you have to divide things this way: you are allowed to have a Rowan and a Felicity, a George and a Sloane. But what we find is that most parents who are interested enough in baby names to write to us are also parents who like the names to Go Well Together—and so those are a lot of the letters we get: parents who used Felicity and now realize that was an outlier to their tastes, and now they want to use Quinn for a second girl but it feels wrong; parents who used Rowan for a boy, and now want to use George but it feels wrong. Etc.
Next I would like to discuss your surname. I used my birth surname as my children’s second middle name, and at this point of my life I feel both glad that I put it SOMEwhere, and also disbelief that I put it in the absolute least important spot, and even planned on them DROPPING IT. Why? Why? Why did I think that my family’s surname was only worthy of that tiny crumb? At this point I wish I’d made it part of the surname: either a double surname or a hyphenated one. At the time that felt like Too Much Surname, or Too Much To Ask; now it feels like a completely reasonable and fair thing to do. It also helps that there are several kids in our school system who have double surnames that are even more complicated and difficult and clunky than my kids’ surnames would have been, and everyone just copes with it and it’s fine. I felt so happy to hear my own surname read out at two kid high school graduations so far, and it’s made me realize I could have heard my own surname used continually throughout their childhoods/lives. Instead I used it not just as a middle name, but as a SECOND middle name. I encourage you to think about whether this is enough for you. If our system were fair, the parents’ surnames would be used in a way that gave them 50-50 importance; ask yourself if you’re willing to accept, and can be happy long-term about, a split that is more like 1-99. Especially if (and I can’t tell for sure if this is the case or not, but your phrasing makes me think it is) you have kept your own surname! If you still have your surname, a double surname (your name second, to avoid the Mason Dixon thing) will be easy for everyone to understand, and will make everything EASIER: the school will remember the surnames of BOTH parents, and will remember that you are related to your own children! your kids’ friends’ parents will be able to find you on Facebook! you can be The Dickson Mason Family, and that will make sense for every family member’s surname! you won’t be the ONLY ONE in your family with a different surname! etc.! That is what I should have done: I should have kept my own surname, and given the kids a double surname, and then everything would have been fair AND would have made sense. (If you are thinking, “Well, but double surnames just push the problem down the road,” I’d say first of all “Okay, but so does using only the father’s family surname!” and also “Okay! I feel confident the kids can handle it!” and also “Okay! Then let’s use just YOUR surname!”)
Well. Onward.
If you are looking for names more like Quinn and Sloan for a girl, one option to consider is using Rowan. In the U.S. usage is unisex-leaning-somewhat-boy: 1166 new baby girls and 3231 new baby boys were given the name in 2020 (the 2021 information is expected in May).
If you like Maren but are not sure you want to take on the pronunciation issues, there’s Brynn and Corinne—both also similar to Quinn. But I wonder if any sort of -in name with your husband’s surname is too evocative of Winn-Dixie. That’s a fairly neutral/non-harmful association, though.
Brynn makes me think of Wynne, which makes me think of one of my own favorite names: Winifred. Underused (not even in the Top 1000, let alone the Top 100), but familiar and easy to spell and pronounce. Cute nicknames Winnie and Freddie/Fred, which feels like it gives her a fair amount of wiggle room to choose what’s right for her.
I also think of Linnea (linn-NAY-ah).
In fact, I am noticing you have a lot of -in- sounds in your options: Evelyn, Quinn, Maren. And then you’ve got Sloane and Rowan, with the long-O and N sounds, which makes me think of Fiona (#296 in 2020) and Simone (#875) and (long-shot, but I think it’s a great name) Joan (not in the Top 1000).
If you like Harriet but don’t want to repeat your friend’s nickname, I wonder if you’d like Henrietta? I think it’s splendid. Underused (again, not in the Top 1000), with various nicknames including Hennie, Henry if she’s in the mood, Hettie, Etta, etc. Though of course it loses the connection to your relationship.
This feels out of nowhere, but the name Claudia came to mind. Again, underused, and I think it’s a great name. (It would have been high on my list if it hadn’t been the name of one of Paul’s ex-girlfriends.)
If you like Nora but it’s too common (#30 in 2020), I suggest Flora (#932 in 2020) or Cora. Cora was #88 in 2020, but the bottom of the Top 100 may be quite a bit less common than you’re imagining. For example, the name Cora was given to .17% of baby girls in 2020. That’s 17 girls out of 10,000 girls; 17 babies out of approximately 20,000 babies, if we remember that girls are only about half. If a classroom has approximately 25 students in it, and approximately half of the students are girls, that’s 17 Coras per 800 classrooms—or 1 Cora per 47 classrooms. That’s national, of course; there will be schools where the name Cora is much more common, and schools where it is much less common. And no matter what name you choose, the statistics fully allow for little coincidental clusters: three Coras and zero Olivias, for example, even though Olivia is #1. But overall, the #88 name is not very common at all.
In fact, while we’re here, let’s do that math on Nora. At #30, it was used for approximately .32% of baby girls in 2020. That’s 32 Noras per 10,000 girls; 32 Noras per 20,000 babies; 32 Noras per 800 classrooms; 1 Nora per 25 classrooms. Many parents are remembering the days of Jennifer (used back then for approximately 4% of baby girls), but names are no longer used at those rates.
Name update:
Hi Swistle,
Thanks so much for all of your thoughtful advice on the name for our baby. I appreciated your idea to think of the style of names that we like as a way to narrow down our options.
More than anything, I appreciated the comments from you and your readers about the baby’s last name. You’re right that I didn’t change my last name when I married, and after reading your advice and talking it through with my husband, we decided to hyphenate the baby’s last name. I ended up having a fairly difficult labor and it felt so right, and fair, that this baby has both of our last names.
Anyway, George Silas Mattson Dickson was born at the end of March. George and Harald were both honor names from my husband’s maternal grandfather’s side of the family, so we decided on Silas as a middle name because we like it and its meaning and we didn’t feel that we needed two honor names.
Thank you again for your help!
K
I just have to note that my daughter is a Felicity Jean and her name brings me spectacular happiness every day (and suits her personality to a T), so I hope you’ll find a combination of your favorites that does the same (even if it’s not that one)!
One thing I noticed is that you like a lot of names ending in -N, which may be too much N with “Mattson Dickson.” Rowan Mattson Dickson. Quinn Mattson Dickson. Evelyn Mattson Dickson. But maybe not, especially if Mattson is the second middle name and won’t be used in daily life. Obviously it’s only a “problem” if it’s a problem for YOU, but the -N names did jump out at me!
I have a Harriet, nn Etta, if you’re looking for a different nickname for Harriet. (Also, I love that your friend has Hattie as a nickname for Heather. It changes the name completely!)
Maren Jean is pretty cool! I knew a Maren, pronounced Mahr-en, in high school, and everybody seemed to get the pronunciation no problem.
The name Maren reminds me of Marit, which I think is only pronounced like Marin, not merit.
Love the name Marit; spookily, the only one I know of is the sister my friend Linnea, which was another one of the author’s great suggestions!
Actually that #872 for Claudia was in 2018 (in 2019 and 2020 the name was out of the top 1,000).
Whoops, thanks—that fools me more often than it should! I’ll fix it.
I have my mother’s last name as a second middle name, and it has been more inconvenient than I think a double last name would have been.
– It’s pretty common for forms to have much more last name space than middle name space, so a double last name (with or without a hyphen) would have let me have my name recorded accurately more often
– Multiple times I have had people assume (when processing name-related things) that I do actually have a double last name, and then move the name from 2nd middle to 1st last, without asking me. This has resulted in a lot of inconvenience from things no longer matching my legal documents or usernames changing on me or not being able to find myself in an alphabetized list.
– I actually prefer my mother’s last name, as it’s easier to spell/pronounce, and I am closer to that side of my extended family. If I had had a double last name, I feel like I could have maybe dropped my dad’s last name when I got married without it being a Huge Thing — as it was, I felt like swapping them around would have felt like a rejection of my father himself, which I didn’t want to do, instead of of his slightly inconvenient last name that I don’t like much.
All of which is to say, please seriously consider Swistle’s suggestion of Dickson(-/ )Mattson as a last name!
I do love that Swistle is encouraging you to use your surname too as a double barrel surname for your children. And super cute that they would be ‘George MD’ for short! I’m glad we used my surname as a second middle for my eldest. For my youngest, when we were contemplating a name change at six months, we actually put a significant name from my maternal line for her second middle. More balanced for the sibset (my paternal line and my husband’s maternal and paternal lines were already heavily honoured.) Not to complicate the consideration of surnames, but there is a lot around patrilineal naming conventions to challenge. (My parents aren’t together anymore, so my surname has less than zero connection to my mother.)
The comic series Captain Underpants features a George and Harold! Not that the combo of George Harald would set him up for hearing a chorus of ‘Tra la laaaa!’ for life (I’m sure few people would ever comment or notice) and hey, he might think it’s super cool for a few years, but thought I’d point that out.
I think Harriet is a slam dunk for you! Like others have said, there are alternate nicknames should you/she chose to use something other than her gorgeous full name (Etta, Hetty, Ree) or in Heather-as-Hattie style, you could do an unexpected nickname like Haven or Halsey or Terry? Or just use Hattie and it’s a cute nod to your friend? (and because Harriet is significant plus could honour that Harald, I encourage you to ‘save’ it for use through Harriet.)
Good luck with determining your sibset style! That sounds like a great exercise. Either way, you have some great names to work with. And if you love Rowan and Harriet best (I don’t actually find that pairing jarring, it feels very British to me) that will be more than okay too.
What about Harriet nickname Hallie?
Harriet Jean Mattson Dickson
Harriet Ruth Mattson Dickson
Hallie Jean or Hallie Ruth is adorable! I like Ruth a bit more than Jean because it means “compassionate friend” which is such a lovely meaning.
Just chiming in to say I do think of Nora as a very popular name. In my son’s 4s PreK class of 16 kids there were 4- one with an H, 3 without. He was born in 2015. I am a 1980s Jennifer & funny enough 4 of the 16’s moms in the class were named Jennifer (tho they were not the moms of the Nora’s haha).
I also have a Nora. Right around when she was born I was hyper aware of the name and knew of 2 others. In reality, there was one other Nora we’d occasionally see at the playground. In our current state, where it’s slightly less common, there are no other Noras in the 500 kid school.
To date, we’ve known 1 Cora.
I didn’t know a single Heather until I was 16. Then we moved to a new town and I shared classes with 3 different ones. lol
Nora’s one of those names that definitely is going to be more popular than the stats suggest because it’s so often a nickname. There are plenty of Eleanors who don’t go by Nora… but a lot of them do. I still doubt it’s anywhere near Jennifer levels, but there very well may be more girls going by Nora than Evelyn (who may well be Evvie/Evie/Eve) even though Evelyn is much higher on the charts.
That said, name bubbles are definitely a thing – though it can be very hard to know what kind of bubble you’re in if you don’t already have kids and therefore don’t know a lot of young children. My son’s name is outside the top 1000, and we know two others with the same name. It happens…
Some are named Nora/Norah, some are nicknames for the fairly popular Eleanor/Eleanora plus Lenora, Honora etc
We have Harriet. I thought we would use a nickname (Hattie or Etta), but she’s always been just Harriet. It’s so old fashioned that it almost feels trendy, and we have never met another Harriet who is a child.
Yep, same! We get a lot of compliments on her name.
Harriet and George would be my choices from your list. I think a three syllable first name sounds particularly good with a two syllable surname. However the significance Harriet holds for you and your husband is what edges it out in front.
There does seem two different styles on your list but all the names feel tailored and grounded. With this in mind, I would like to suggest Elise, Vivian, Frances, Olive, Rosalind, Helen, Laurel, Miriam, Clarice and Gwen.
I’m bristling (tee-hee) at the description of Rowan as modern and unisex, since we choose it for our son feeling it was classic and firmly masculine! In the UK, Rowan Atkinson and Rowan Williams (ex archbishop) are the first associations aside from the tree. Anyway. We also love Felicity and would have chosen it for a daughter. We see it as the same type of name as Rowan – familiar but uncommon. Also, both are going through a popular phase right now, which is perfect: they will sound “right” for a child born now, but they aren’t trendy since they have a long history of use behind them. Harriet also fits the same description, as do Cora and Evelyn.
Another UK-er here, totally agree on Rowan!
Just wanted to point out George & HarOld are the names of the characters in the popular book series Captain Underpants. Might not be an issue – and could be very cool as a second grader – just stood out to me as I have a current second grader very into this series.
Mother of hyphenated double-barreled surname kids here (we used dadsname-momsname so they’d be earlier in the alphabet). Literally the only person who has ever cared was my mother-in-law, who was pulling for a 3rd; unfortunately her son hates being a junior so that wasn’t happening. Very normal naming convention these days, forms easily accommodate the whole long name and hyphen, instant whole-family moniker – I have loved this choice, and so do our kids. Highly recommend.
I have to note I’ve known both a George Mattes0n and a George Dicks0n, and they were both fine upstanding fellows, good role model types.
Harriet Jean – Harry, Hettie/y, Etta, Ettie/y, Hats, HeJe – oh, this is a deliciously nicknameable name. If this kid lived at my house she’d have a dozen! I love it! Except I think her middle name should be your first name, just as you have your own mom’s – such a sweet tradition.
With the last name “Dickson” I would be careful to avoid names that could lead to awkwardness/teasing. I’d avoid anything that sounds like “hairy” like Harry, Harriet, etc. A middle schooler would probably be able to tell you what else doesn’t sound good with “d*cks” but it’s hard for me to get into the mindset of an 11 year old bully!
Assuming the name is actually spelled with an X, I don’t think teasing is quite as inevitable since you don’t actually see the word. I’ve never previously made the connection that the name contained that sound. I personally find Harriet Dickson-with-an-X subtle enough that it’s unlikely to be a major issue (although I gave my child a first name that contains the “dick” sound – albeit blended with other letters and not emphasized – so take that as you will), but I might avoid the nickname Harry.
I really like Swistles suggestion of Henrietta.
Team ‘add it to your last name’ over here! My kids have… not the catchiest combi last name. Think Gottlieb-Pool and you’d be close. It’s a lot of consonants. Do I regret it? NOPE. My heritage is important to me, my husband’s is important to him, and I think our kids should be raised with our best shot at gender equality.
On the Rowan vs George issue… I actually don’t necessarily agree. In the UK Rowan is *much* more common for a boy than a girl, although technically gender neutral – and I think I might even have an acquaintance with twins called Rowan and George?! Maybe the Rowan Atkinson thing embedded it as a traditional name in people’s mind’s here? Totally concur on Sloane vs Felicity for example, though.
I find myself gravitating to Maren, because you said you love it and I always want people to use the names they love. Maren Ruth Dickson would be my choice, if you go with that surname. But I also want to speak up for hyphenated last names. My kids have one and it really hasn’t been that much trouble. If the surname did have two ends-in-n names, though, I might switch my choice of first. I think two of these together (as first and middle, first and last, or both halves of a surname) is pleasing, but three starts to seem like a lot. Do you think you might want to use Harriet, nn Hattie, rather than avoid it since she is a close friend? If not, Etta is a good suggestion a few people have already made. Felicity and Eveyln are nice, too. Felicity Jean? Evelyn Ruth?
Julianne Ruth Mattson-Dickson
Julianne is a good compromise between the “Felicity” camp and the “Sloane” camp, because it sounds like Julian (which is technically masculine), but fits so well with Julia, Juliet, Julie and Julianna.
As long as we’re talking last name options, my husband and I bet even/odd minutes on our first born’s last name (if baby was born on an even minute – my last name, if odd, his). The last name that didn’t make it went to the second middle.
Baby was born on an odd minute so it was First Middle MyLast HisLast
Second baby, same system, born on an even minute! So First Middle HisLast MyLast.
Never have had ANY issues, kids love their names and are very close, happy siblings. It is fun to have a birth story that includes this big surprise/chance piece of how they came to be named. And it sets all of us up to be less heavy about the future of their names and how they might change, it creates a family tradition of creativity vs control.
Team double surname! My own kids are father-mother, and i have my maiden name. I would go with Rowan or Georgie regardless of gender. You could use Georgiana for a girl. Harriet (honor Harald) Jean is great too. I agree it would help to decide your preferred style before choosing a name. I feel like Leona would be a good middle ground name for you though.