Hi Swistle,
We are at a crossroads with naming our second daughter and wanted to turn to you and your incredible commenters for help. I’m 21 weeks and the wheels have fallen off of our usual process for naming.
Like many who write in, my husband and I have very different naming styles, but landed on the perfect honor name for our first born, Ada James. Ada is named for my late brother-in-law Adarris, and iconic computer programmer, Ada Lovelace. Middle name James for my great grandfather who was the most gentle, kind, peace-seeking man I’ve ever known, and the Middle initial J honors my husbands late father. An absolute win for both sides of the family.
We had a pregnancy loss at 13 weeks in 2020, her name would have been Ruth Winter (these are honor /deeply meaningful names as well).
As often happens, we want to have an equally lovely name for our daughter arriving in September. I have utilized Baby Name Wizard and I would describe my naming style as “charming, vintage, solid citizen.” I would describe my husbands naming style as “girls in a classroom from 1996.”
The system we have used previously is bracket style, we talk through names head to head, moving them forward like it’s March Madness, We get down to two names we love, and decide once we meet her. We’re on our third attempt at this and it just isn’t working. Perhaps the languishing of the pandemic has made this much less fun. We just don’t feel like engaging in the witty banter naming usually brought. I’m hoping you can help put the wind back in our sails or give us some encouragement!
My absolute favorites are:
– Violet
– Zara
– Phillipa/ Pippa
– Rosemary
– Greta
– Liesl
– DaphneMy husbands:
– Sloane
– Elyse
– Quinn
– Emily
– Maya
– Cameron
– SkylarFrom my list, he likes Zara, from his list, I like Sloane.
I am a teacher, so I have had a student with every name on his list (including Sloane, but she was a doll) I don’t know if either feel a fit with Ada. I’d also like to stay below the Top 100 if we can.The middle name will be Scott, after my father who passed away less than a month ago. I’m open to a two middle name situation if it feels right.
Is there a name that bridges our styles that you think we are missing? Should we go for Zara? If we go for Zara, does the Zar- and the Gar- in our last name feel rhymey?
Thank you so much! Looking forward to hearing from you!
Laura
I hope it is okay to ask if the name Ruth would be usable for this baby. I realize there are circumstances under which it would be, and circumstances under which it would not be; and I also realize that if it WERE usable for you, you likely would have come up with that idea yourself. It’s just, it’s such a perfect name. And so I am wondering if there is any sense in which you can see it as a name that would have been given but was NOT given (as so many names on our name lists are, when we decide to go with something else, or when a baby is a boy/girl so our girl/boy name goes unused), or if that name feels Given. She could be Ruth Scott. Ada James and Ruth Scott; Ada and Ruth. It’s a wonderful combination.
Well, on the assumption that that has been ruled out, let’s look at the other options. I enjoy your descriptions of your naming styles, and I definitely see the gap. It is interesting to note that both Ada and Ruth got through this gap. Do you think it was because they were honor/significance names? If so, that is the strategy I would lean HARD on this time around. FIND HONOR/SIGNIFICANCE NAMES.
Now to spend some time picking apart the lists! The matching Zar-/Gar- sounds of Zara with your surname do not feel nice in my mouth, but that’s an extremely subjective thing: for someone else, those sounds might make the name click into perfection. I feel similarly about the -lar/Gar- of Skylar.
I am hesitant about botanical choices: Violet/Rosemary with your surname sound like something available at a plant nursery. (I also find Violet difficult to say with your surname.) And Greta with your surname brings Greta Garbo strongly to mind: not at all a negative association, but a little bit startling in that “Why is this name SO INSTANTLY-BUT-NOT-QUITE FAMILIAR?” kind of way.
Possibly I am in an extra-picky mood this morning, because a lot of the other names also feel difficult/clunky to say with the surname. Sloane. Cameron. Quinn. Maya. I feel like I have to work to say them. But perhaps I just need another cup of coffee.
Okay! clap clap! So now that I have unhelpfully picked things apart, I’m going to re-recommend going back to honor/significance names. That seems to be the style you two have in common. If Ruth is not usable, then back to the family tree and the history books.
Name update:
Hello Swistle & Community!
I’m overjoyed to share our daughter arrived on August 25th. Lucia Clementine (pronounced Lou-sha) 9lbs, 12 oz.
We took your advice and wiped the lists we had and dug up meaningful honor names.
Lucia has very special significance to the women in my immediate family (me, my mom and my sister) along with celebrating St. Lucia day as a child, it was the name of a beloved, magical babysitter we spent time with regularly growing up. St Lucia’s name day is Dec 13th, my birthday is the 14th, my oldest daughters is the 15th, my moms is the 16th. (We can celebrate four in a row!) And most importantly, the story of the holiday is a young girl who brings light to a dark time. She has done that and more.
Why the change of middle name to Clementine? Ultimately, we ended up choosing the feminine version of my maiden name/now middle name, so we could honor my whole family, and she and I could share initials. It fits her perfectly.
Thank you for all your help!
I think Zara Garlin sounds fine. Maybe it depends on how you pronounce Zara though? I pronounce it like Sarah with a Z, rather than with an “arr” sound.
A couple more ideas:
Rosalind (for Rosalind Franklin, discoverer of the double helix – although maybe hard with the surname)
Eloise (close to Elyse, but is more in line with your style I think)
Gwen (feels to me like a halfway point between Quinn and Greta)
Tess/Tessa (would feel at home in a 90s classroom, but also feels vintage to me)
June (ok, I added because I just love it :))
Oooh, I like these, especially Tess and June! :)
Liesl and Elyse seem like an area of potential overlap in style, and either go great with your surname. Would Eloise be enough like Elyse but sufficiently un-1996 for both of you? Would your husband go for Liesl if you promise to look the other way if he nicknames her Lisa sometimes? Are you maybe thinking – like I am – that Lisa actually sounds kind of refreshing now, and maybe even solid citizen-ish? There’s also Liese, which might get you an inch more familiar sounding for your husband’s benefit.
Since you have Maya on your list, I also want to suggest May or Mae. Mae Jemison might appeal to you the same way Ada Lovelace does, and maybe you like that it has three letters just like Ada? May Garlin is a little flowery, but it doesn’t bother me.
Or what about Irene? Or Beth? Or Mary? All names that weren’t unheard of in 1996, but lean more classic and seem like they could fit your style. Irene Adler is fictional, but maybe a cool association.
Also, for a left field suggestion…what about Hedy? There are lots of Germanic names on your lists, and Hedy Lamarr would mean you’re doubling down on the Ada Lovelace associations. Or, if you want something more subtle, there’s also Grace (Hopper) and Katherine (Johnson). Nicknames like Kit or Kay or Trina seem like they could be your style.
I love Mae in honor of Mae Jemison 💜
For a great honor name, what about first name Scarlett and calling her Scottie as an ode to your dad?
What about Blythe? It’s got a vintage feel but reminds me of Sloane. I also think that Kate might be a good name- it’s 1990s but also very solid citizen/ classic.
Clara Scott Garlin
Harriet Scott Garlin
Molly Scott Garlin
Sally Scott Garlin
Mary Scott Garlin
Sadie Scott Garlin
Ramona Scott Garlin
I love Molly! It is also a name with a lot of history, from Molly Ivins to Molly from Revolutionary war.
I had a student named Scotti and I LOVE that name! It would be so great as a pair, Ada and Scotti.
Here to suggest Imogen! Imogen Scott, Ada and Imogen. Nicknames Immie for sweetness, Mo for edge, and Genny for the 90s vibe your husband likes. Hope there’s an Imogen in your family tree but hopefully someone was a big Shakespeare buff?
We named our daughter Imogen two years ago. We call her Idgie at home, but she has started calling herself Immy and Gigi! I also love Midge. So many fun options, but with a classic name that is unique, but approachable and easy to pronounce. I love her name so much. Glad to see it has another fan!
I agree with others that mentioned Eloise. I think is a good mix between Elyse and Leisl. Other options:
Alyssa Scott Garlin
Cora Scott Garlin
Ella Scott Garlin
June Scott Garlin
Juliet Scott Garlin
Zoe Scott Garlin
What about Iris? It means rainbow, which might be nice after you’ve suffered such a loss (I’m so sorry!). I think Iris and Ada sound wonderful together!
Other possible middle ground names:
Jane
Sylvie
Margot
Emmeline
June/Juno
Thora
Celia
Good luck!
I love the names Ada and Ruth. Gorgeous.
I like Eloise and Sadie from the suggestions.
Here’s a list of suffragette names you might like that go well with Ada (which is also on the list). I particularly like Agnes, Alice, Edith, Esther, Inez, Mabel, Millicent, Sylvia, and Winifred.
https://appellationmountain.net/suffragette-names-for-girls/
So many great ideas here! I love:
Ada and Gwen
Ada and Elise
Ada and Grace
Ada and Maeve
Ada and Isla
Ada and Eileen
Ada and Piper
I don’t mind the sound repetition with Zara Garl… I think it sounds beautiful.
Ada James is a lovely name. I do understand why Ruth seems so perfect and also why you might not want to use it again.
And I see how your naming styles differ though it seems like both Ada and Ruth fit in more with your style.
Not knowing if these would possibly have any significant for you, perhaps you can can consider the following.
Zorina instead of Zara
Blanche or Stella instead of Sloane
Eliza instead of Elyse
Vera instead of Violet
Hi! My grandmother’s name was Ada, so I’m going to chime in with some name ideas that belonged to her cousins and siblings and are “of the era”. Side note, my middle daughter is named Sloane Eloise, so I’m partial to that choice as well.
Cecile Scott Garlin (this is my favorite i think – love the alliteration)
Eloise Scott Garlin
Elizabeth Scott Garlin (Libby! Shout out to Elizabeth Cady Stanton – OG women’s rights activist)
Stella Scott Garlin
I love the suggestion of Mae/May.
Contemplating good names that inhabit the Venn diagram overlap of “90’s classroom” and “charming vintage,” my first thought was SAMANTHA! It also sounds good with the last and middle names.
A few other ideas:
* Vera (possibly with Viv or Vivi as a modern-sounding nickname)
* Audrey
* Miranda
Also it seems like there’s a need for you both to re-discover the fun and joy in naming. Could you try a change of scenery? Sometimes even just driving to an unfamiliar neighborhood and walking around will spur new kinds of conversations and help you get out of a rut. I’ve found this to be especially true through the pandemic.
Best wishes!
I love your description of your husband’s naming style, since that’s exactly my husband’s style too. He’d suggest a name and I’d say, “Ugh, I grew up with a million kids named that” and his response would be, “I grew up with so many kids named that too! Isn’t it great?”
I will say I have the complete opposite reaction to Greta than Swistle– I LOVE it with your surname. It flows so well, and sounds like a familiar name without actually being the name of a famous person. It reminds me of a kid I knew in college whose name was Nick Neptune, which is one of my all-time favorite first and surname combos.
Same, the alliteration really works in this case. Greta Garlan has a oot of punch, in a good way.
Grace
Ruby
Maeve
Mary
Elle
Mabel
Cecilia
Dorothy
Some of these might be too popular but felt like they flowed well and met your style
I don’t hear a sound clash with Zara G. And it’s his favorite from your list AND it’s a good match with Ada, so it seems like a good solution.
Looking over his list, I wonder if Emma instead of Emily would slide a little closer to your style. It’s been popular a while so you must have student associations with it, but maybe enough that any bad ones are balanced by good ones? Ada & Emma. Very cute.
Just spelling changing the spelling of Elyse to Elise might make it more palatable to you. Or Elisabeth, nn Elise?
I’m named Elizabeth after Cady Stanton, Blackwell, and Gurley Flynn
I’m going to second the suggestions of Grace, Rosalind, Hedy, and Katherine to go with Ada.
Wait, maybe not Grace if her middle name will be Scott (Grace Scott sounds too much like “great Scott!”)
I just love Daphne and Greta from your list. And I love the mn as well as suggestion of using something like Ruth Scott and calling her Scottie.
A few others that I like for you:
Gwendolyn Scott, nn Gwen (or Gigi for Gwen Garland)
Zoe Scott
Margot Scott
Phoebe Scott
Zadie Scott
Nora Scott
Eliza Scott
Veda Scott
Elizabeth, or better yet, Elisabeth, seems like the obvious compromise. You can call her Liesl and he can call her Elyse. Elyse, nicknamed Liesl, could also work. Or Eliza?
Some other suggestions
Phoebe
Vera
Lucy
Gemma
Lila
Fiona
Nina
Leah
Willa (good honor name if you have a William you want to honor)
Meredith
Alison or Alice
Julia
Louise/Louisa
Simone
Maxine
How about Sutton or Ainsley/Ansley? I hope you don’t feel obligated for the first name to have a ton of meaning since you’re having a hard time agreeing to a name already and Scott is in the middle name slot.
I wonder if you two would like Ellison, Heidi or Molly?
Best of luck!
Joan
Thea
Josephine nn Josie or Jody
Joanna nn Josie or Jody
Genevieve nn Jenna
Jeanette nn Jenna
Jean or Jeanne
Louisa nn Lisa
Or maybe Justine or Jessamine?
I keep thinking about Marie. To me, it rings very solid citizen (and there’s the obvious Marie Curie tie in), it’s not super popular right now but it’s a familiar enough name that it feels less specific to a certain era. Marie Scott Garlin. Ada and Marie.
Yes, I love Marie! It sounds beautiful and is connected to another icon
Thea?
Change in scenery: if it wouldn’t bum you out, a walk in a beautiful old cemetery is great for name-spotting. Not to name baby after someone there, but get the wheels turning. Or go to the library or an online database and peruse yearbooks and newspapers from the 1910s. Or list all of your favorite children’s book characters, and all your favorite movie characters, and all your favorite teachers.
Maybe none of these is THE name but it could be fun to look at things from a fresh angle.
I like Laura, Sylvie, Meg, Nella, Nola, Bridget.
Oops! Mom is Laura. Well, I think your name really fits with your family! It’s one of my favorites. I suggested it because it’s a true, sturdy, melodic classic (for you) and already had a popularity peak (for your husband). Other classics that already revived, for that 1996 classroom vibe, are Caroline, Amy (maybe not with Ada), Susan/Susannah (!), Sarah, Mary, Molly (ahem), Anna, Hannah, Julia, Nina.
I was going to suggest Sara(h), nn Sally for Sally Ride if you’re in to female scientists. Sarah Scott Garlin sounds nice to me. It’s a name that could have been from just about any decade.
Or Selma? Classic but also Selma Hayek and Selma Blair for the 90s fans. There’s a Nobel prize winning writer named Selma too.
How about T(h)eresa? Or Christina?
I think Esme would be a great fit here. Not as common as Eloise or Emily but I like the similarities. It also fits perfectly with Ada and flows nicely with the middle name Scott. Its such a pretty, underused name that is so cute on a little girl and has the same sophistication as Ada.
From reading the description, I think the reason that you are struggling to be witty is because of the grief these past months have given you. I am so, so sorry for your losses.
To me when I look at the names you have chosen, I see Hero names (Ada Lovelace and RBG) so I am sharing this list: https://nameberry.com/list/349/Heroine-Baby-Names
A couple of names I would offer: Willa. Willa Scott Garlin. Eleanor Scott Garlin. Helen or Helena Helen Scott Garlin. For the record, Zara Garlin sounds fine to me, I rhyme it with Sarah.
I hope you soon find a name that thrills you, you deserve it after a rough year <3
A couple of more thoughts and lists…
I second Marie as an option because Marie Curie is another icon and Marie and Ada sound wonderful together. Marie Scott Garlin. I also thought of famous nurses and Florence came to mind. Florence Scott Garlin. Here is a list of famous nurses https://nursejournal.org/articles/influential-nurses-in-history/ in the list is Hazel and Mary, both sound lovely as well and Mary is now underused, but would fit your husband’s list as well. Mary Scott sounds lovely. Mary Garlin is beautiful. Famous doctors https://www.aamc.org/news-insights/celebrating-10-women-medical-pioneers may also provide inspiration. I hope you soon find the name you love!
I want to offer up my name Laura as a name that fits both into charming, vintage, solid citizen category and the names you might hear in a classroom in the 1990s category (I know I was in said classroom). There are far fewer Lauras than there used to be, and it really is a pretty name.
Mom is Laura!
Blergh. My fault.
Looking at husband’s list, maybe
Sloane-> Simone
Emily-> Emilia
Elyse-> Eloise or Eliza (as others have mentioned)
As a style bridge, maybe Julia?
If I was to choose a name from your two lists my favorites are
– Phillipa/ Pippa
– Cameron
From the comments I think I like
– Sylvie. Love Sylvie Scott G.
New names
-Autumn
-Brooklyn
-Tabitha
-Lydia
-Ivelisse
I don’t think Zara is hard to say with your last name, but might be hard with Ada. Sloane is such a great name! And Ruth is perfect.
What about Cora? Lorna? Lorna is a nod to your name, tailored and feminine and seems like it could fit with either list. Lorna Scott Garlan. Lorna and Ada.
I think Zara is great and not difficult at all with the last name. Ada and Zara sound like sisters to me and the a to z connection is sweet. If Zara is the one name you both agree on I say go for it!
What about Ruby? It’s similar in sound to Ruth.
Ruby Scott. Ada and Ruby
I have an Ada on my family tree. Her sisters were May, Alma, Ethel and Edith. Not much room for your husband’s taste in there, but their middle names were Agnes, Beatrice, Edna, Florence and Gertrude. Out of all that I think there are a few that could work.
May Scott. Ada and May.
Alma Scott. Ada and Alma. Ada and Aly.
Edith Scott. Ada and Edie.
Beatrice Scott. Ada and Bea. Ada and Tris.
Florence Scott. Ada and Flora. Ada and Fleur.
Gertrude Scott. Ada and Gertie. Ada and Rudy. Ada and Tru.
A few more suggestions:
Frances Scott. Ada and Frances. Ada and Fran. Ada and Frankie.
Louise Scott. Ada and Louise. Ada and Lou.
Ann Scott. Ada and Annie
From your list I love Greta! Greta Scott. Ada and Greta
I love the suggestions of Imogen, Sylvie and Helen.
Maybe not Frances because of Francis Scott Key. No wonder that sounded familiar :)
Ada and Flora has a heart eye feel to me.
I think it’s safe to say that most name nerds (hi!) are currently a little more in your camp, style-wise, so I thought it would be interesting to see a top 500 of names from 1996 in the US. From that list (from the SSA baby names website), I found:
Samantha
Marie
Sabrina
Claire
Lydia
Cecilia
Miriam
Lucy
Although if we assume he was in school already in 1996, perhaps a list from 1990 is a better reference? I saw Nicole on that list, and I love the more fresh variation, Colette. Bridget, Sasha, Nora are all in the top 500 for that year too.
My favorites:
I like Lucy Scott Garlin
Marie Scott Garlin
There’s something nice about how, like Ada, they aren’t naturally shortened or nicknamed.
I wonder if any of these bridge a gap for you guys?
Country singer Thomas Rhett has a daughter named Ada James, so I thought I’d throw out his other two daughter’s names: Willa Gray and Lennon Love.
Would you consider Zora instead of Zara, to avoid Zar-Gar and honor Zora Neale Hurston? It might be too rhymey with your own name… but then “Zora, like Laura” might also be appealing to your husband!
My personal thoughts on using Ruth: As someone who has lost a baby and known others who have named babies they’ve lost, once you have decided on a name for *that* baby, it simply cannot be used on another baby. It was that baby’s name, and not any future living baby’s name. Ruth is your family’s angel who now watches over all of you. Of course, this may not be how you feel, but trying to help explain so others can see why it wouldn’t want to be considered this time.
I love the sound of Zara Garlin, but not quite liking it with Ada.
I also love the alliteration of Greta Garlin
Good luck! Expecting my 2nd baby girl in September as well, we are naming her Brynn.
I’m with you, Brianna. For me, my version of Ruth was Maria, and that name is Used. Furthermore, I needed all the names to coordinate, so I wonder if Laura would like names that coordinate with both Ada James and Ruth Winter: Ada, Ruth, and _____ Scott. Strong names, full of glamour and grace, short and crisp.
Greta Scott (oh that’s on your list)
Ilsa Scott (bit like Elyse and Liesl)
Edith Scott
Flora Scott
Cora Scott
Cara Scott
I am so sorry to hear about little Ruth. Thrilled for you about this other, different, delicious person who will soon join your family, but my heart goes out to you and everyone who loves Ruth. Having been there too, we tell our kids that siblings who never met can still love each other. If you want her to, Ruth can always be part of your family in that way. Gorgeous name, too.
Mom of a Philippa here and just wanted to say how incredibly positively people reacted to her name. Immediately nicknamed to Pippa by her siblings and that has stuck. Pippa seems to fit into your husband’s name choices well. Philippa Scott, Pippa Scott – handsome both!
I had doubts about the name before using it – too hard to spell, pronounce, etc – and I was wrong. It works beautifully. For what it’s worth, Philippa of Hainault is a rockstar namesake, an English Queen Consort in the 1300s who ruled as regent while her husband was away warring.
I know a girl named Ada and her sister is Emilia. I like that combo! You could spell it Amelia in honor of Amelia Earhart.
Ada and Amelia
Amelia Scott G
And Amy (a solid nickname for Amelia) was a common name in my school in 1991
Suggestions I haven’t seen yet:
Emmeline (since your husband has Emily but this is charming vintage)
Vivian
Beatrix (or Beatrice, mentioned above)
Cassandra
Celia
Eliza
Suggestions already made that I think would be great with Ada and with your last name, that fit your style, and your husband might agree on:
Julia
Lydia
Eleanor
Lucy
Nora
Nina
Clara/Claire
Cecilia
Sabrina
Josephine
Katherine
Audrey
Miranda
Alice
Iris
I forgot to include:
Stella
June
Juliana
Phoebe
Bonnie Scott Garlin+D
Diana Scott Garlin+D
Esther Scott Garlin+D
Etta Scott Garlin+D
Gemma Scott Garlin+D
Hazel Scott Garlin+D
Olive Scott Garlin+D
Pearl Scott Garlin+D
Rosa Scott Garlin+D
Rose Scott Garlin+D
Viola Scott Garlin+D
Lucia Clementine Garlin is one of the most perfect, most meaningful baby names I’ve heard in a long time. Welcome, Lucia, and congratulations to all who love you.
What a lovely name, and so full of meaning for your family!
Welcome to Lucia Clementine!
Goes beautifully with Ada James.